Latest / Dr Justin Coulson's Happy Families / #1139 - The Top 5 Episodes of 2024

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#1139 - The Top 5 Episodes of 2024 · Dr Justin Coulson's Happy Families

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Speaker 1: It's the Happy Families Podcast.
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Speaker 2: It's the podcast for the time poor parent who just
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Speaker 2: wants answers. Now.
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Speaker 1: Today, on the Happy Families Podcast, we're counting down the
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Speaker 1: five biggest episodes. It's been a big year on the
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Speaker 1: podcast this year, Kylie, and we're going to count down
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Speaker 1: the five most listen to episodes, the five biggest episodes,
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Speaker 1: the five do you know what? Looking at the list,
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Speaker 1: it's a really practical list of episodes where people are saying, Hey,
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Speaker 1: I just need to know what to do. So today
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Speaker 1: we're going to tell you what to do in five
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Speaker 1: simple steps. Rather than sharing snippets from our five most
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Speaker 1: popular episodes this year, we're going to tell you the
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Speaker 1: title of the episode number. We'll link to them in
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Speaker 1: the show notes so you can go back and have
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Speaker 1: listen if you want to. But pretty much, here's what
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Speaker 1: the topic was, and here are our best one or
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Speaker 1: two tips to help you across summer when you've got
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Speaker 1: extra time with the kids and frankly, probably a bit
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Speaker 1: of extra pressure as well. Let's not pretend that that's
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Speaker 1: not a thing. Tips to help you with the kids,
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Speaker 1: So Kyler, let's count them down. Let's count from number
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Speaker 1: five down to number one in.
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Speaker 2: Position number five, Episode one, one thousand and forty one.
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Speaker 2: Can you believe that we've recorded over a thousand podcasts?
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Speaker 1: Yeah, overachievers. That's how we roll. Next year. By the way,
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Speaker 1: we're thinking about dropping some weekend episodes as well, just
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Speaker 1: because we love doing this so much. Anyway, I digress
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Speaker 1: Episode one thy forty one.
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Speaker 2: Screens suck. Do you think they listen to it because
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Speaker 2: of the topic or that's just a really catchy title.
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Speaker 1: Maybe it's a bit of both. My bias is increasingly
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Speaker 1: obvious here as I look at what's happening in our home,
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Speaker 1: as I doing the homeschool thing with a couple of kids,
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Speaker 1: and looking at the way that screens are ubiquitous. They're
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Speaker 1: absolutely everywhere in everyone's homes and everyone's families. I'm just
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Speaker 1: done with screens. I've got a new phone arriving next year.
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Speaker 1: I don't know if it's going to be practical and usable,
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Speaker 1: because I've I used my iPhone for kind of everything.
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Speaker 1: But I've got this new phone coming called the Light Phone.
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Speaker 1: Light Phone three is coming out, and I'm really keen
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Speaker 1: to try it. I just don't know how it's usable. Anyway,
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Speaker 1: Screens suck my tip for Christmas, my tip for summer holidays,
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Speaker 1: throw them in the bin almost almost minimize as much
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Speaker 1: as we can. Just get rid of them. Just just say, hey, kids,
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Speaker 1: at summer, we're going to be outside, We're going to
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Speaker 1: be doing really cool stuff, and the only time we're
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Speaker 1: on screens is when we as a family agree that
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Speaker 1: we're all going to watch something or do something together.
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Speaker 1: I just think nobody ever when you say, hey, what
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Speaker 1: was the best family event, the best time that you
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Speaker 1: can remember having together, or what was the most awesome
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Speaker 1: thing that you did in the last week, Nobody ever says, oh,
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Speaker 1: last Saturday afternoon when I got to hang out on
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Speaker 1: my phone for four hours, I interrupted, that was the
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Speaker 1: best afternoon I can ever remember.
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Speaker 2: I know you're saying this, but I think that there
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Speaker 2: are going to be so many parents who are listening
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Speaker 2: and thinking.
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Speaker 1: I didn't mind it when I got that guy that
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Speaker 1: this is.
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Speaker 2: Not practical because my teenage daughter or my teenage son,
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Speaker 2: there is no way they're going to put that down
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Speaker 2: for four hours of the day.
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Speaker 1: I got really excited with this whole social media ban
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Speaker 1: with the federal government that's passed through the legislation the
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Speaker 1: last few weeks and just the other day I had
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Speaker 1: this eye opening, oh no moment when I realized that
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Speaker 1: just because the kids aren't on social media, it doesn't
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Speaker 1: mean they're not going to be on their screens. It's
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Speaker 1: not like a screen band from the sixteens. It's just
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Speaker 1: a social media ban. I don't think, as you've said,
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Speaker 1: that it's realistic that we can completely minimize screens or
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Speaker 1: chuck them in the bin, as much as I would
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Speaker 1: love to. What we can do, though, is set aside
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Speaker 1: specific times where we say, hey, guys, we're gonna have
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Speaker 1: screens at these times. We're not gonna have screens at
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Speaker 1: these times. We're going to be intentional about our time together.
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Speaker 1: To me, that's the best way for the best thing
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Speaker 1: we can do to make sure that we have less
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Speaker 1: impact in our lives, in our kids' lives from screens.
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Speaker 2: It's interesting. I was just talking with a friend of
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Speaker 2: mine about the challenges that our youth are experiencing. It
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Speaker 2: occurred to me that maybe one of the biggest challenges
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Speaker 2: our kids have is our unavailability. Yeah, and I don't
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Speaker 2: know how practical it is for families, but over the
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Speaker 2: Christmas break, providing opportunities where you are just one hundred
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Speaker 2: percent available. They're going to pick you over a screen
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Speaker 2: any day.
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Speaker 1: I've spent a little bit of time on ironically, some
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Speaker 1: social media, on Twitter, X and what I'm seeing quite clearly,
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Speaker 1: quite profoundly, there is a lot of pushback.
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Speaker 2: Now.
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Speaker 1: I know there's going to be controversial and provocative, but
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Speaker 1: there is a strong narrative that is being pushed, particularly
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Speaker 1: in places like Twitter and X, that the increase in autism,
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Speaker 1: the increase in ADHD, the increase in neurodivergence generally, and
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Speaker 1: psychological challenges specifically, all comes down to the prevalence of
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Speaker 1: screens in our lives, the ubiquity of screens in our lives. Now,
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Speaker 1: I'm not going to jump on that bandwagon and start
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Speaker 1: waving that flag. I'm not going to become one of
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Speaker 1: those people who say, I don't think this stuff is
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Speaker 1: real and we could get rid of it all tomorrow
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Speaker 1: if we've got screens. That's not what I'm saying. What
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Speaker 1: I will say, though, is no matter who I talk to,
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Speaker 1: and no matter what the makeup of your family is,
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Speaker 1: and no matter what the challenges are in your family,
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Speaker 1: I'm yet to come across anyone who says that life
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Speaker 1: is not improved with the reduction in screen time. Bring
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Speaker 1: the quantity of that down, get outside, be together, connect,
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Speaker 1: look in people's eyes, stare at their faces, touch them,
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Speaker 1: bump into them, kick things to them, throw things at
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Speaker 1: them consensually for fun, and watch what happens screens Suck.
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Speaker 1: Episode one forty one, our fifth most listened to episode
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Speaker 1: of the year. What was number four in position number four?
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Speaker 2: We have It's actually the next episode, one thousand and
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Speaker 2: forty two.
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Speaker 1: So maybe we just had a peak week. We might
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Speaker 1: have or we were on five.
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Speaker 2: I'm looking at these numbers, we probably did well work
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Speaker 2: and homeschool life balance.
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Speaker 1: Yeah, okay, So essentially, for those of you who are
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Speaker 1: new to the pod, Kylie and I have stepped outside
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Speaker 1: of the mainstream over the last year year and a bit.
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Speaker 1: We've done some really different stuff. Pulled our two youngest
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Speaker 1: kids out of school. So we've put four children through
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Speaker 1: high school, now four children from the very first year
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Speaker 1: of school all the way through to the end of school.
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Speaker 1: Our fourth one is finishing year twelve in twenty twenty five,
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Speaker 1: but our two youngest are currently homeschooling. We love it
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Speaker 1: and we hate it.
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Speaker 2: I mean, I was waiting for that.
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Speaker 1: Yeah, it's so much better for these two kids in
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Speaker 1: so many ways than what school was doing to them.
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Speaker 1: But boy or boy, does it add complexity, challenge, and
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Speaker 1: a level of stress to our lives that you just
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Speaker 1: don't have when the kids are going off to school.
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Speaker 1: And a lot of people who homeschool say it's the
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Speaker 1: easiest thing they've ever done. We haven't found it to
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Speaker 1: be the case. We're pretty intent on making sure the
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Speaker 1: kids are doing plenty of homeschooling. But Kylie, ultimately, when
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Speaker 1: I say we're pretty intent on it, you're the one
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Speaker 1: that's doing it. So I'm going to stay quiet. If
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Speaker 1: there's one thing that you would talk about when it
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Speaker 1: comes to homeschool life balance, combining that with work and
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Speaker 1: just everything that has to be done, what would it be?
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Speaker 2: Keep the main thing, the main thing?
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Speaker 1: Oh? I like that the main thing.
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Speaker 2: As I have associated with other homeschool families, the constant
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Speaker 2: challenge that parents have is they now have so much
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Speaker 2: more freedom in what they can encourage their children to
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Speaker 2: participate in. And what so many families are finding is
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Speaker 2: that there's just so much that they're actually chalking up
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Speaker 2: their lives with extra stuff and it's all exciting and awesome,
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Speaker 2: but they just feel run ragged. And so for me,
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Speaker 2: it's really just keeping the main thing the main thing.
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Speaker 2: Emily has a couple of hours of desk work each day,
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Speaker 2: and then picking one activity that she can really enjoy
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Speaker 2: each day makes for a better experience.
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Speaker 1: Okay, let's have a look at the third most listened
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Speaker 1: to podcast episode on The Happy Family's podcast in twenty
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Speaker 1: twenty four.
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Speaker 2: It's one thousand and nine ADHD in toddlers and adults.
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Speaker 2: This is interesting.
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Speaker 1: Yes, so again the boom, the boom in interest in
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Speaker 1: anything to do with near adversity ADHD. This episode went
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Speaker 1: gangbusters from a numbers point of view. If you're dealing
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Speaker 1: with ADHD in your life, I'm just going to share
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Speaker 1: two quick tips. Keep this one really simple, because we
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Speaker 1: could go on about it for ages, and I'm doing this,
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Speaker 1: and please know the irony in my answer. My first
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Speaker 1: part of this answer is if ADHD is prevalent in
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Speaker 1: your life, just remember with the kids and even with you,
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Speaker 1: one thing at a time, don't stuff too much in
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Speaker 1: one thing at a time. But because I'm me, I
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Speaker 1: have to put a second thing in. See what I've
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Speaker 1: done that one thing at a time, and I'm going
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Speaker 1: to add two things I can't believe I'm doing it.
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Speaker 1: Active living, diet, exercise, good levels of sleep, minimized screens.
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Speaker 1: Just active living. It's associated with reduced ADHD symptomatology, better
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Speaker 1: emotion regulation, and better cognitive function, executive function, that kind
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Speaker 1: of thing. So that's what I would say. Was there
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Speaker 1: anything from the third most listened to episode of the
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Speaker 1: Happy Families podcast this year that you wanted to add?
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Speaker 2: No, That was actually a really good segue into position
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Speaker 2: number two.
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Speaker 1: I like the way you didn't add anything to my
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Speaker 1: list of one that became two. That was very very
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Speaker 1: thoughtful of you, very considerate for all of our ADHD
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Speaker 1: families who are listening. What was the second most listened
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Speaker 1: to podcast episode this year.
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Speaker 2: One thousand and thirty eight, Managing Emotional.
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Speaker 1: Dysregulation so so popular, in fact, I'm working on a
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Speaker 1: product for next year to help families who are worried
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Speaker 1: about what I think is the parenting word of the year, dysregulation.
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Speaker 1: Everyone's talking about it. My tip is this one, whether
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Speaker 1: it's you or your children. Emotional dysregulation means high motions,
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Speaker 1: low intelligence, saying we have all those difficulties associated with it.
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Speaker 1: Really simple. Fast is slow. Slow. As fast you feel
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Speaker 1: yourself or your children's starting to become disregulated, what happens
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Speaker 1: is you try to speed it up, and that makes
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Speaker 1: everything take longer because everyone gets cranky and everything gets worse.
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Speaker 1: But if you can remember that slow is fast, going
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Speaker 1: slow helps you to be better regulated, which means that
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Speaker 1: you get to think more effectively, which means you get
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Speaker 1: to communicate more effectively, which means your children feel safer,
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Speaker 1: they feel more loved. You're able to solve all the
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Speaker 1: problems in the whole entire world because fast is slow
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Speaker 1: and slow is fast.
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Speaker 2: So what you're saying is just go and eat.
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Speaker 1: No, that's not what I'm saying at all. How did
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Speaker 1: you get that out of that?
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Speaker 2: I'm a little bit tongue in cheek there, but I
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Speaker 2: know that for our ten year old, whenever she gets
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Speaker 2: emotionally dysregulated, more times than not because she hasn't eaten,
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Speaker 2: she hasn't eaten.
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Speaker 1: Yeah, that ties in with ADHD. I was going to
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Speaker 1: I was actually going to say make sure that your
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Speaker 1: ADHD kids reading when we were talking before, but I
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Speaker 1: didn't want to add three things to my list of
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Speaker 1: that had already come to I was going to put
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Speaker 1: that in there. Do you know another thing that I
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Speaker 1: would say though with disregulation, and that is just being
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Speaker 1: willing to step outside of that situation and say to
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Speaker 1: the kids, as I have said to you many times,
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Speaker 1: I know you're really upset right now? Do you want
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Speaker 1: to hug? Like, do you want me to be with you?
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Speaker 1: Or do you just want some space? Do you want
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Speaker 1: me to help? You want me to hug? Do you
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Speaker 1: want some space? And that just does wonders for emotional
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Speaker 1: dysregulation helps people to pull it back together.
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Speaker 2: Well, we're finally there.
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Speaker 1: The moment is a right position. Number one. Can we
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Speaker 1: have some fanfare please? Jr? Can we have some enthusiasm please?
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Speaker 1: Missushappy families drummer on? Well, Jay, I was already looked
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Speaker 1: after all that good stuff.
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Speaker 2: Okay, all right, Episode one thousand and fifty five, Why
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Speaker 2: kids Don't Listen? Is the number one? Literally number one?
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Speaker 1: Sorry? Can you say it again? I was just updating
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Speaker 1: and a thing on my computer. What did you say
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Speaker 1: that one episode?
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Speaker 2: Was you think it's why husbands don't listen?
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Speaker 1: But anyway, yeah, yeah, this is this is a perennial problem.
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Speaker 2: Right when I look at the list. We've got screens,
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Speaker 2: We've got ADHD, we've got emotional dysregulation, we've got homework,
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Speaker 2: life balance, kids not listening top of the list, of
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Speaker 2: the list, of the list.
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Speaker 1: We had this episode downloaded so many times because everyone says,
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Speaker 1: why my kids listened to me?
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Speaker 2: And I don't think it matters what age our children are.
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Speaker 2: This is the one thing that ties all parents of
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Speaker 2: all times together because is the bonding moment.
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Speaker 1: Kylie. I made the point in the podcast episode and
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Speaker 1: again we'll link to it in the show notes, but
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Speaker 1: I made this point really really clearly, and that is
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Speaker 1: that your children are listening, they just don't like what
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Speaker 1: you're asking them to do. Because so much of our
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Speaker 1: communication with our kids is correction and direction, right.
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Speaker 2: I can't ask them everything that they're going to like,
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Speaker 2: Like I've got to ask them to brush their teeth.
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Speaker 2: I've got to ask them to have a shower. I've
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Speaker 2: got to ask them to pick up their toys. How
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Speaker 2: does this work?
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Speaker 1: I know. So you can go back and listen to
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Speaker 1: the episode. It was the another one episode of the year,
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Speaker 1: so you know you're going to get some good value
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Speaker 1: out of it. But I'm going to share my favorite
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Speaker 1: tip when any parent ever asks me how do I
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Speaker 1: get my kids to listen? And it is really simple.
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Speaker 1: Make sure that you have their attention before you start talking.
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Speaker 1: So don't shout from the kitchen, don't shout from your bedroom,
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Speaker 1: don't shout down the hallway. Go to them. Make sure
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Speaker 1: you've got eye contact. Sometimes even touch them while you're
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Speaker 1: talking to them lovingly and kindly. I know they'll look
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Speaker 1: at you like you're a bit strange sometimes, but oh
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Speaker 1: my goodness, it just makes all the difference in the world.
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Speaker 1: That is what you do. Get their attention before you
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Speaker 1: start talking.
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Speaker 2: Five brilliant topics.
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Speaker 1: Brilliant topics, brilliant topic. What a brilliant podcast for brilliant parents.
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Speaker 1: I don't want to be better. Thanks so much for listening.
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Speaker 1: We hope that you've got something out of that. If
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Speaker 1: you'd like to get some more detail on any of
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Speaker 1: those top five episodes from the year, Like I said
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Speaker 1: links in the show notes, we would love to be
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Speaker 1: a positive influence in helping your family to thrive, and
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Speaker 1: I reckon the tips, hints and ideas that we've given
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Speaker 1: you today are going to help you with that. Over
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Speaker 1: the summer break We're back again tomorrow on the Happy
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Speaker 1: Families podcast doing what we can to make life happier
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Speaker 1: for you. Thanks so much for listening. The Happy Families
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Speaker 1: Podcasts is produced by Justin Roland from Bridge Media. For
14:27
Speaker 1: more products, information and ways to make your family happier
14:31
Speaker 1: best bet, visit us at happy families dot com dot
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