Latest / Papa Gut / The Moment They Found Out Their Baby Had No Heartbeat Became A Decade Worth Of Content

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The Moment They Found Out Their Baby Had No Heartbeat Became A Decade Worth Of Content · Papa Gut

• 0:00
  What's up guys? I'm going to be really short and
• 0:02
  sweet. I reacted to this TikTok on
• 0:04
  stream and I kind of expected it to be this like one off like
• 0:06
  maybe 5 to 10 minute commentary, but it really spiralled into
• 0:10
  this kind of insane dive down a rabbit hole of this well, couple
• 0:17
  making a lot of content off of their trauma.
• 0:20
  Let's just say it gets really bizarre.
• 0:23
  So I really wanted to make it a full segment.
• 0:25
  And so I wanted to do a little intro to just let you know what
• 0:27
  was happening and also to do quick plugs.
• 0:29
  I'm just going to be real with you.
• 0:30
  Big part of the reason because we're having a baby, you know
• 0:32
  what I mean? So unplugging our podcast link
• 0:33
  in the description, nice and simple.
• 0:35
  You guys know I have members only content.
• 0:37
  Small gut gives you full access to the members only portion of
• 0:39
  discord. I mean, gut gives you that plus
• 0:41
  lots of members only content. You can do this on Patreon or
• 0:44
  YouTube, by the way. And then we got stickers.
• 0:46
  Nice, quick, easy plug. They're really nice quality.
• 0:48
  You should take a look. So, yeah, without further ado,
• 0:50
  let's start this up. Whoa.
• 0:53
  The moment we found out our baby had a no more heartbeat, that's
• 0:56
  really sad. That's sad stuff, man.
• 0:58
  My wife, I think she's going to be 30 weeks pregnant this
• 1:02
  Friday. And you know, this is
• 1:05
  devastating stuff, man. It's tough.
• 1:07
  It's tough when you go and you get a sonogram and you and
• 1:10
  something goes wrong. I couldn't imagine every day for
• 1:12
  my wife and I have been stressed.
• 1:13
  We want to make sure that our baby is doing well.
• 1:15
  It's such a terrifying experience.
• 1:20
  That's terrible. I feel bad for the sonogram tech
• 1:22
  that has to give this information.
• 1:23
  Damn that's fucking so sad. This makes me want to like
• 1:33
  actually cry. Dude, I remember, I don't know,
• 1:41
  man, I get it. I get.
• 1:42
  I remember when my wife and I couldn't forget to get her on
• 1:44
  the Doppler at home. This would me out, man.
• 1:48
  Those first 12 weeks, like the worst.
• 1:53
  That's terrible. Damn, it's like 8 weeks right
• 1:58
  there. That's like, that's rough, man.
• 1:59
  Those first 12 weeks are brutal. I'll just say like just make
• 2:04
  sure you guys are doing what you got to do Don't listen.
• 2:06
  All this anti vax bullshit like the current recommended is 2
• 2:09
  baby aspirins a day. That's what my wife and I've
• 2:12
  been doing increases blood flow. We've been perfect.
• 2:15
  I'm like my wife and I are overweight.
• 2:16
  My wife has zero vitamin deficiencies or whatever other
• 2:19
  bullshit. Her blood pressure is perfect.
• 2:22
  Everything is like like you. We're we're really trying.
• 2:25
  We take a prenatal she takes like these other pills I don't
• 2:28
  even know the name of. The doctor said they were fine,
• 2:31
  though. She's taking like her two, you
• 2:33
  know, baby aspirin a day that you're supposed to take.
• 2:36
  Take it with food so it doesn't harm your stomach lining.
• 2:38
  You know, we're really trying. She's staying pretty active too,
• 2:41
  but this is devastating. OK, OK.
• 2:51
  I'm sorry, I feel bad for everybody in here.
• 2:55
  I didn't feel bad for the tech, but I think at a certain point
• 2:57
  you give them some tissues and you leave the room, you know?
• 3:05
  That's rough, man. I see people that are giving her
• 3:08
  shit for like yelling at the woman, you know, I just feel
• 3:11
  like shut up. I get it.
• 3:13
  But like you're not always going to be in the perfect emotional
• 3:15
  situation. And I'll tell you right now,
• 3:17
  like my wife doesn't like to be touched at all.
• 3:19
  And if somebody touched her, like when we are, we already
• 3:22
  have the protocol like when we when we give birth, when she
• 3:24
  gives birth, but I literally have to play football in front
• 3:29
  like a lineman defense on like the breast people.
• 3:31
  They they are not allowed to touch my wife.
• 3:33
  That's valid. Now, could she have been nicer?
• 3:35
  Sure, but her baby just thought, and I understand that it's just
• 3:38
  like a fetus wherever when you're pregnant, it's like a
• 3:39
  very different experience. It's made me consider like my
• 3:42
  like my, my relationship with being pro-choice, which I am
• 3:46
  still, but it's like, if you really are thinking about
• 3:49
  getting an abortion, I feel like you must really have a good
• 3:51
  reason because it is so real, at least to me.
• 3:53
  So you know, to her, she was like very mentally real.
• 3:56
  She was trying to have this, this baby and it's a big loss
• 4:01
  moment. Man, this is rough.
• 4:03
  This is rough. Now.
• 4:05
  I wouldn't have put this on Tiktok.
• 4:07
  This is something not to post. That's fair.
• 4:09
  That's auto percent fair. I just wouldn't have posted
• 4:11
  this. I don't know why the fuck you're
• 4:12
  recording this, you know what I mean?
• 4:14
  Like, I don't know what the fuck you expected.
• 4:17
  Maybe they expected something positive to happen, but they're
• 4:19
  definitely, they're definitely sympathy farming.
• 4:21
  But like, this is brutal. Damn right in his goddamn ear
• 4:32
  too. Sorry.
• 4:32
  Oh my God, I knew. It I knew it I.
• 4:38
  Knew it. Damn.
• 4:44
  I just wouldn't have posted this, dude.
• 4:46
  I think this is something that you can talk about after you've
• 4:48
  gone through your grieving process and you can have a
• 4:50
  productive social media conversation.
• 5:00
  Dude, somebody edited this too. You see how there's, like, jump
• 5:03
  cuts? That's my biggest thing.
• 5:04
  Why the fuck did you post this? Oh.
• 5:06
  My. God damn that's brutal.
• 5:11
  Don't post that dude. The one who is saying I was.
• 5:15
  Rude to the tech or mean? Big Book.
• 5:17
  Mean to the tech. I did not say F you.
• 5:21
  I did not call her the B word I actually.
• 5:23
  The B word didn't. Say anything derogatory towards
• 5:26
  her I. I just feel like you shouldn't
• 5:28
  even I've bothered responding at this point, just let it happen.
• 5:33
  Just like people are being annoying.
• 5:35
  Like you were rude to her. You should have just said like
• 5:36
  yeah, it was rude to her and I but I'm sorry but like I just
• 5:38
  found out that like my fucking baby died.
• 5:41
  So like give me a break. That's what I would have said.
• 5:43
  I. Was naked on the table and was
• 5:45
  just told that my baby inside of me is dead and she grabbed both
• 5:50
  of my legs to just give her condolences and I fully
• 5:53
  understood that and I said don't touch me.
• 5:56
  A stern, valid and urgent voice to set a physical boundary that
• 6:02
  I needed in that moment. And if you don't agree with it,
• 6:05
  I'm so sorry. I feel like again the bigger
• 6:07
  issue. Why the fuck did you put this
• 6:08
  online man? I apologize to her after and she
• 6:11
  was like, I completely understand she's not upset.
• 6:14
  Why didn't you record that? So you shouldn't be any other
• 6:17
  woman who has gone through a similar situation.
• 6:20
  I think they understand. To anyone else who's ever gone
• 6:23
  through a loss and had that horrible ultrasound, I am.
• 6:26
  You happened to me. I'm just saying though, like now
• 6:29
  that we've you've gone through the like a little bit, like you
• 6:31
  could zip for that up. It's distracting, which I
• 6:33
  actually don't mind. I'm just saying like I can't
• 6:35
  help myself. I'm disgusting.
• 6:37
  No, I'm just saying like that's crazy, that this is crazy.
• 6:39
  Hey guys, my baby died Zip. Like I would have zipped it up.
• 6:41
  You know what I mean? That's like showing up to a
• 6:43
  funeral with a whole ass. What the hell is that?
• 6:47
  Me too and that's why I post about these things.
• 6:50
  Maybe I'm the problem? Maybe I'm the problem?
• 6:53
  Things to spread awareness, to show other women they're not
• 6:56
  alone and that you're going to be OK.
• 6:58
  And I'm doing OK. And so is the text.
• 7:01
  She's actually fine. I'm happy about that.
• 7:04
  She. Fully understood.
• 7:05
  God bless. This is kind of fucked up
• 7:08
  because it's update on her ten week pregnancy loss.
• 7:10
  This is really fucked because like they said, the baby was
• 7:15
  measuring at 7. Like I think it was about 8
• 7:17
  weeks which means like, you know what I'm saying?
• 7:21
  That's sad stuff man. Oh, they were doing IVF?
• 7:26
  Oh, update on my 10 week pregnancy loss and IVF plans
• 7:29
  moving. It looks like they're saying
• 7:30
  moving forward. OK, it seems like they were
• 7:32
  having fertility problems. Crazy.
• 7:35
  On Saturday I went to the emergency room because I was
• 7:38
  having insane cramping. First Doctor Who came in was
• 7:43
  like you're going to get ADMC right now, we need to get this
• 7:46
  out of you. And I was like, I felt some
• 7:48
  relief from that. I was like, thank goodness, I'm
• 7:51
  going to just get it right now. The ER doctor came in and was
• 7:54
  like, oh, but if we do it today, you we can't test the fetal
• 7:58
  tissue. And I'm determined to test the
• 8:00
  fetal tissue. After a bunch of appointments
• 8:03
  and confusion, I'm getting the DNC tomorrow.
• 8:07
  Our plan with I love. How loud the music is.
• 8:09
  IVF's after the DNC is we have to monitor my HCG to drop to 0
• 8:17
  and then I'm going to be doing another frozen transfer probably
• 8:21
  in October. That's how expensive as hell,
• 8:24
  man, What the fuck? And we're going to go back and
• 8:27
  test our 5 remaining embryos. My OB and Doctor Simkis are both
• 8:32
  saying the loss was most likely a chromosomal abnormality.
• 8:37
  This is crazy how the fucking loud the music is.
• 8:39
  Because we did not test our embryos, so I.
• 8:44
  If you're doing IVF, why the fuck aren't you testing your
• 8:46
  embryos? Not trying to be an asshole.
• 8:48
  I feel like if you're going to commit, you might as well fully
• 8:50
  commit and do like, I mean, we did genetic testing, my wife and
• 8:52
  I, we both have something that like doesn't conflict with each
• 8:55
  other, so we're happy about that.
• 8:56
  But like, if you're doing IVF, why the fuck wouldn't you test
• 8:59
  your shit? Like I mean, I know it's
• 9:00
  expensive, like I guess that's what it is, but IVF is very
• 9:02
  expensive. You know, you might as well
• 9:04
  commit to it. I feel pretty good about the
• 9:06
  plan moving forward. Thank you so much to the people
• 9:10
  who are understanding that this isn't a fun moment for me.
• 9:16
  And instead of berating me for saying don't touch me, I've
• 9:22
  actually gotten a lot of support and people who are being very
• 9:25
  understanding. I just want to say thank you for
• 9:28
  that in this incredibly hard time.
• 9:31
  And for those who don't know, this is my third loss, first
• 9:36
  loss, my full term baby. We took her home from the
• 9:40
  hospital. The doctor said she was healthy
• 9:43
  and she died. And that was.
• 9:45
  What the fuck, Jesus Christ. In 2022.
• 9:53
  So I've been through it and I also have a lot of PTSD from all
• 9:59
  of these lost. I bet, but what the I don't even
• 10:02
  know what to say about that. That's this is insane.
• 10:03
  This rabbit emails We're we're we're going out of rabbit hole.
• 10:05
  I just never expected to go down.
• 10:07
  Honestly, I'm so I'm flabbergasted.
• 10:09
  Choose kindness when it comes down to.
• 10:12
  What else? What else is there?
• 10:14
  This is her coming back from her like abortion or whatever.
• 10:16
  Like they they to get the baby out of there that was not alive.
• 10:20
  Like but what the hell. I.
• 10:22
  This is just not the content you really need to be making I.
• 10:24
  Just woke up from my DNC hubby's here and it went well.
• 10:33
  They collected all the tissue for the genetic testing.
• 10:37
  OK, what did they say the problem was?
• 10:39
  Well, they're not going to know yet.
• 10:40
  I'm pretty exhausted. I'm going to go home, take a
• 10:44
  nap, and then I have a few weeks before the testing comes back,
• 10:49
  OK? Jesus Christ.
• 10:51
  And I plan on sharing that all with you guys.
• 10:55
  Why? Why?
• 10:56
  And then we're testing our embryos the first week of
• 11:00
  September, so I'm excited for that.
• 11:04
  You know, maybe I'm being too judge mental.
• 11:05
  I just you know what it is. Here's here's the thing.
• 11:07
  I feel like this video is fine. I think that the one video of
• 11:11
  her having a meltdown, I don't really agree with putting that
• 11:14
  up on social media. I feel like there are some
• 11:16
  boundaries that you shouldn't cross.
• 11:18
  I could, I think it could be a really positive, productive
• 11:20
  thing for you to be like, hey, guys, we're struggling with
• 11:21
  fertility. We actually had a baby and they
• 11:23
  passed away. I don't understand why, but
• 11:25
  that's what happened. And we've been trying this, you
• 11:26
  know, fertility stuff. And frankly, I feel like part of
• 11:29
  the problem that she's having is she hasn't been testing the
• 11:31
  embryos. I could be wrong, but she didn't
• 11:32
  test the last one, which ended up in like a miscarriage,
• 11:34
  unfortunately. So maybe you should learn from
• 11:36
  that experience and like continuously, if you're going to
• 11:38
  do IVF anyway, which is expensive, you might as well do
• 11:40
  the genetic testing. I don't understand why you
• 11:42
  wouldn't do that, but it makes sense to I can understand making
• 11:45
  content out of it, but like, I just feel like this is good.
• 11:48
  Hey, there's a productive conversation.
• 11:50
  We're doing this thing. I'm calm, cool, I'm collected.
• 11:52
  But going on and recording like one of your most dramatic
• 11:54
  moments where you had a miscarriage and you found out
• 11:56
  about it, Like does that really make sense to me?
• 11:58
  Like it makes no sense to me. Like I don't know, it just makes
• 12:01
  me feel like like there shouldn't really.
• 12:03
  I don't know, is there like are you happy you made a lot of
• 12:06
  money off of it? You know what I mean?
• 12:08
  Like that's fucked. I feel like this just influence
• 12:10
  a new element. That's like really fucked up to
• 12:11
  me. Very off putting to me.
• 12:13
  I think that they're going to be productive conversations about
• 12:15
  traumatic experiences but this is just not it.
• 12:17
  I'm trying to make a whole content about it.
• 12:19
  Just seems as weird as hell. Too.
• 12:21
  And I have a lot of hope in our testing and our next transfer
• 12:30
  and everything. And I'm doing well.
• 12:34
  The surgery went well. So thank you so much to everyone
• 12:38
  for your prayers and kind wishes.
• 12:42
  Oh, I think it worked. That's nice, I guess.
• 12:46
  OK, this next one is like, just terrible.
• 12:49
  Like, look at this is I just this is what I'm talking about.
• 12:51
  Like, is this really content? Appropriate.
• 12:53
  In 2022, we welcomed a beautiful, perfect baby girl.
• 12:56
  We named her Penelope, or Nelly for short.
• 12:59
  OK, that's really cute. Damn.
• 13:03
  She passed at three days old at being discharged as healthy, and
• 13:05
  I found her dead 14 hours. I had to live in the hospital.
• 13:07
  Jesus Christ. Oh my God.
• 13:12
  Terrible. We did 2 egg retrievals in 2024,
• 13:15
  getting zero eggs from both, then a chemical pregnancy in
• 13:18
  2025. Completely natural.
• 13:21
  What does a chemical pregnancy mean?
• 13:22
  Does that mean that like, you took hormones or something?
• 13:24
  Oh, a chemical pregnancy. OK.
• 13:26
  We actually had one of those. I think it's like, no, no, we
• 13:30
  didn't. We had a thing where like she I
• 13:32
  suppose did. She did a test positive for like
• 13:34
  a day or two. It was weird.
• 13:36
  I think that's what they're talking about.
• 13:37
  A very early miscarriage happens with the first five weeks of
• 13:39
  pregnancy shortly after a fertilized egg implants.
• 13:42
  OK. Jesus Christ.
• 13:44
  OK. All right.
• 13:48
  Doctor Simkis to the rescue. Listen, I'm not going to be that
• 13:52
  guy. I'm not a fucking doctor.
• 13:53
  This baby doesn't look look healthy.
• 13:55
  I feel like the doctor's kind of fucked up on this one.
• 13:58
  And also, like, I I truly want. There's so many questions I
• 14:01
  have. Like this baby looks very big
• 14:04
  and it's like, and like, you know, rest in peace.
• 14:05
  God bless. I, I really do generally mean
• 14:07
  that. But like, did she have
• 14:08
  gestational diabetes? Like are you testing for
• 14:10
  gestational by diabetes? Cause like she looks big.
• 14:14
  She looks big in the way where like maybe you did have that and
• 14:16
  that's something that you want. Like my wife took the
• 14:17
  gestational diabetes test. She didn't have it, thankfully.
• 14:21
  Like, you know what I mean? Like she, they don't, I don't
• 14:23
  know, I've seen babies. They, that doesn't look healthy.
• 14:26
  You know, I feel like the doctors think, oh, she's
• 14:28
  healthy. It doesn't make any sense to me.
• 14:31
  I wonder if there's like just some kind of failure here from
• 14:33
  the doctors or is she getting properly tested?
• 14:36
  After two year break from IVF, we found the best IVF doctor in
• 14:40
  the entire world. That's nice.
• 14:44
  Our luck and doctors finally gave us success. 22 eggs and six
• 14:47
  beautiful embryos. After struggling so hard to get
• 14:52
  eggs and make embryos, we decided against testing.
• 14:57
  I didn't want to throw away a single baby at this point until
• 14:59
  that's see, that's what I'm talking about.
• 15:00
  I'm not trying to be fucking rude.
• 15:02
  After struggling so hard to get eggs and make embryos, we
• 15:05
  decided against testing. I didn't want to throw away a
• 15:08
  single baby at the point. So like, here's the thing.
• 15:10
  And this is like really, it's sad, but this is what our doctor
• 15:12
  told us. Like we struggled to get to like
• 15:14
  get implantation. We've been very lucky.
• 15:16
  Like this was like our first like real implantation.
• 15:18
  Everything's going really well. We're karma farming.
• 15:21
  Everything's this month has been miserable in a lot of ways, but
• 15:23
  baby wise has been good. I will take the miserableness.
• 15:26
  Our baby shower has been a fucking nightmare.
• 15:28
  We haven't had it yet, but the planning's been terrible.
• 15:30
  We'll probably talk about it on the podcast, but one of the
• 15:34
  things he said is like, hey, listen, when there's like the
• 15:36
  implantations happen, sometimes that just means that like your
• 15:38
  body kind of knew it wasn't going to be a good that it
• 15:40
  wasn't going to be good, you know, and that's why our doctor
• 15:44
  that we found what she's really good.
• 15:45
  He's like, we don't, he doesn't do a, he's not aggressive, you
• 15:48
  know, like he will, he will escalate proportionally.
• 15:50
  We started off, we did probably like 6 or seven months, 067,
• 15:54
  sorry French of like, you know, doing the ovulation, the trigger
• 15:57
  shot and like doing the pills and stuff.
• 15:59
  We didn't really push it super hard.
• 16:02
  And then like the one month we implemented a couple other
• 16:04
  things. One of those was actually
• 16:05
  taking, I forgot what it was called, but like it shortens my
• 16:08
  wife's immune response because my theory was that like her
• 16:12
  vagina, EH, or whatever was like she has a strong immune system
• 16:16
  that's killing my sperm and then boom, we got pregnant.
• 16:18
  So I think that's part at least part of it.
• 16:21
  But like we tested as much as we could test.
• 16:24
  I mean, if you're doing IVF, you think I'm not going to test on
• 16:26
  IVF to make sure that like it's the perfect sperm and the
• 16:28
  perfect egg. Of course I'm going to do that.
• 16:30
  Are you kidding me? So like, to me, this seems like
• 16:33
  really irresponsible and I get it.
• 16:34
  I, I feel like it's one of those instances where my arm hurts.
• 16:36
  I'm like holding up like this. I get it.
• 16:37
  It's one of those instances where she like wants a baby so
• 16:40
  bad, she's willing to kind of like throw caution to the wind.
• 16:41
  And I, I understand that, but at the same time, like you, you,
• 16:44
  you really should be, you're better off finding like a
• 16:49
  healthy baby, like a healthy embryo that's going to be able
• 16:53
  to be implanted successfully. Or else you're just giving
• 16:55
  yourself a situation or setting yourself up a higher risk of, of
• 16:58
  having a bad scenario. You know, I don't really fault
• 17:01
  the doctor because it's kind of like the patient's, you know,
• 17:04
  choice. But I mean, Jesus Christ got it.
• 17:12
  He did his magic on her, they got her pregnant.
• 17:14
  It worked. We were in disbelief and
• 17:15
  grateful God gave us another chance.
• 17:19
  She's, I don't know, see again, like I don't understand why
• 17:21
  you're thirst shopping your boobs on like posts.
• 17:23
  It looks like this is a compilation of posts.
• 17:26
  OK, my 8 week ultrasound went great.
• 17:31
  Heartbeat of 164. Is that great?
• 17:35
  Yeah, I guess it's not bad. It's like the upper limit
• 17:37
  though. I feel like that's like upper
• 17:39
  limit but whatever. Anyway, measuring 3 days behind
• 17:44
  which I can't lie, I was worried but trusting in God at that
• 17:46
  point. OK interesting.
• 17:49
  I saw somebody mentioned some kind of political thing.
• 17:51
  I wonder. OK, my anxiety at the best of
• 17:56
  me. So I booked a nine week elective
• 17:58
  scan at boutique ultrasound set a plug.
• 18:00
  We saw her but she was small. We saw the heartbeat but it was
• 18:03
  not loud enough to hear. I continue praying we have a
• 18:05
  Doppler for that. It's difficult to find a
• 18:07
  heartbeat because like actually like my.
• 18:09
  You know the woman's heartbeat is going to be down there too,
• 18:11
  so you got to make sure you differentiate the two.
• 18:20
  Then came the second worst day of my life. 10 weeks 2 days
• 18:25
  pregnant measuring 7 weeks 6 days no heartbeat.
• 18:27
  I thank God everyday for my husband.
• 18:29
  Not only is my IS he might rock emotionally but he's the best
• 18:33
  provider husband who allows me to stay at home and not work and
• 18:35
  focus on my fertility journey. OK that's nice.
• 18:38
  But still I feel like do you kind of fucked yourself over
• 18:41
  here by not getting genetic testing?
• 18:42
  After several trips to the ER and talking with my OB and
• 18:44
  fertility Dr. we decided AD and C was the best.
• 18:47
  I'm currently 3 hours post op and I'm actually doing OK.
• 18:49
  All kind of wishes and prayers are being very felt and I can't
• 18:53
  thank everyone enough who's being incredibly supportive and
• 18:56
  kind to me and even to everyone else.
• 18:59
  I still love you and I'm praying for everyone.
• 19:03
  OK, well, I hope everyone is doing great.
• 19:05
  OK, got it. OK, well, that's nice.
• 19:10
  I guess there's something I'm off putting about this.
• 19:13
  Our plan going forward is to test Poppy's fetal tissue.
• 19:16
  That was successfully they named the baby Poppy.
• 19:20
  That actually kind of makes sense.
• 19:21
  We actually like at a certain point, we like we had a
• 19:23
  placeholder name for, for our, I don't want to say her name.
• 19:26
  Her daughter was Poppy because she's like the size of a poppy
• 19:28
  seed. So you call her Poppy.
• 19:29
  So I get that fetal tissue that was successfully collected
• 19:33
  today. Thank you again.
• 19:34
  Your prayers are working. And we start genetic testing on
• 19:36
  September 1st. So those results should be
• 19:38
  within a few weeks. Wait, are they saying they
• 19:39
  didn't do these are talking about the genetic testing for
• 19:42
  the, for the fetus fetal tissue. Here's my thing.
• 19:45
  Like you should be doing if you can afford it, which it sounds
• 19:48
  like they can. They're in and out of IVF.
• 19:50
  You should be doing genetic testing for you and it's
• 19:52
  expensive. I think it was like 650 bucks
• 19:55
  for myself and my wife each. Like so it's 1300 bucks, but you
• 19:58
  should be doing genetic testing. Excuse me.
• 20:02
  So that like, you know, if you have any conflicting issues and
• 20:05
  if you do, then you should always be doing IVF.
• 20:07
  That's genetically tested, right?
• 20:10
  Like I don't think that that's unreasonable if you can afford
• 20:12
  it, which they seem to be able to.
• 20:14
  To everyone who asks why I post such raw, brutal content, it's
• 20:16
  because I want to make other women who go through laws see it
• 20:18
  as, not just them, a miscarriage.
• 20:20
  Is it truly an isolating time? But you women on here keep me
• 20:23
  going. I love you so much.
• 20:24
  Rest in peace Poppy. Be nice to your sister out
• 20:27
  there. Nelly is showing you so much
• 20:29
  love. I'm sure you can't wait to swim
• 20:30
  to meet you. OK listen, here's my thing.
• 20:32
  I understand the one hand that stuff like this can be
• 20:34
  productive, but I'm telling you it's mostly not.
• 20:37
  Like I don't think a single pregnant woman that came across
• 20:39
  this woman's page about how she had a fucking miscarriage at
• 20:41
  like 10 weeks because the baby was measuring like a seven weeks
• 20:44
  and six days, partially because they weren't doing genetic
• 20:48
  testing on the IVF they're doing.
• 20:49
  No woman's going, oh, this is really helping me.
• 20:51
  It's not helping like anybody. Like it's actually distressing.
• 20:53
  Most women that are especially that are pregnant that see this
• 20:55
  are distressed by this. So like I think it can be
• 20:57
  positive, productive to talk about your journey, educating
• 21:00
  myself on your journey. It just seems like you're being
• 21:02
  reckless because you're so desperate to have a baby, which
• 21:05
  I can understand and respect, but you're being so reckless
• 21:08
  that you're like exacerbating issues for yourself, you know?
• 21:12
  But I don't think that this is productive.
• 21:13
  I saw this video and I was like, OK, and I wanted to talk about
• 21:16
  it on on here, but I saw this video and I told my wife, I
• 21:19
  said, if you come across something that like unexplained
• 21:22
  to her, don't watch it because like this is distressing.
• 21:24
  My wife is like left Facebook groups because they get too like
• 21:27
  insane about pregnancy stuff. It's not helpful.
• 21:30
  It actually is a very anxiety driven when you show like these
• 21:33
  traumatic moments. Again, you could talk about it
• 21:35
  productively, but this isn't productive to me.
• 21:44
  Trying to see if there's anything else that they have to
• 21:45
  say. Is this like a one minute video
• 21:48
  with a bunch of pictures? Am I fucking crazy or am I, am I
• 21:50
  dumb? I had to check on my phone, but
• 21:52
  it's one minute, one second on the Dodge, just enough to get
• 21:54
  that monetization, I guess. Catch your bag.
• 21:57
  All right? I don't know, man, this is
• 21:59
  crazy. I'm looking at her like tree
• 22:00
  right now and she has this thing called Nellie's Law that's
• 22:02
  trying to petition to require oxygen testing, which I think is
• 22:06
  valid. That's makes sense.
• 22:08
  I, I respect that. But then there's one that's like
• 22:11
  selling a baby monitor. So it seems so there's something
• 22:15
  off, there's something awkward about this.
• 22:17
  There's something awkward about this.
• 22:18
  The this one is a little odd to me.
• 22:21
  It's their gender reveal. We are fine.
• 22:24
  So this baby was like 10 weeks. I don't, I see, I don't know,
• 22:28
  dude. I just feel like this was such a
• 22:30
  bad. There's so many.
• 22:32
  But anyway, there's so many things like my wife and I like
• 22:34
  you can find so you can find out the gender of the baby in two
• 22:36
  ways through like the ultrasound, I think like 18
• 22:38
  weeks plus depending on like their development or through
• 22:43
  genetic testing of the blood, like you can actually test the
• 22:46
  mother's blood. It's fucking crazy what they can
• 22:48
  do now. It's at six weeks.
• 22:51
  We refused, refused to know the gender of our baby until 12
• 22:55
  weeks because like the first trimester is the worst
• 22:57
  trimester. So I just, I feel like it's
• 23:00
  something very interesting to me that like, you know, these
• 23:02
  people have like had an issue where their baby was born and
• 23:07
  passed, which is terrible. And again, they're ignoring
• 23:11
  genetic testing and they've gone through like different types of
• 23:13
  miscarriages before And like they, their baby isn't even 10
• 23:16
  weeks and they're like, hey, let's do a gender reveal.
• 23:19
  It just doesn't, it just, there's, there's such a lack of
• 23:23
  precaution And I don't understand where it comes from
• 23:26
  because this is like mentally devastating.
• 23:27
  Like my wife and I refused, like did as much as we could to
• 23:30
  distance ourselves from like the thought that our baby was a baby
• 23:34
  until 12 weeks because it's scary, especially when it takes
• 23:37
  a long time. We've been working out of this
• 23:39
  for like 5 years, like, and, and it's like, you know, it's, we
• 23:42
  don't want to get our hopes up. I just don't understand.
• 23:47
  I just don't really get to me, like there's just a lack of
• 23:50
  precaution and maybe I'm just projecting, but.
• 23:52
  Out the gender right now we got this beautiful cake from nothing
• 23:59
  Bundt cake. I called 5 or 6 bakeries today
• 24:03
  and said do you have time to get a gender reveal cake ready for
• 24:07
  us today? Every single one said no except
• 24:10
  for nothing. Bundt cake.
• 24:12
  What do you want and. I mean, our, our, our general
• 24:16
  reel is really nice. We just did it, the two of us.
• 24:18
  We went to a place called Crazy Beans.
• 24:19
  It's a really nice coffee place on eastern Long Island.
• 24:23
  And we actually, I know I'm sitting where my arm hurts.
• 24:26
  We actually got, we, we went in, we called first, but we went in
• 24:30
  there and we were like, Hey, can we give you the, the, the slip
• 24:33
  that has the, the baby's gender in it and we will give it to
• 24:36
  you. And can you like bring us a, a
• 24:38
  blue coffee and like a pink coffee and then put them on the
• 24:42
  table and then like take out the straw and like put it inside of
• 24:45
  the, the coffee for us instead of the baby.
• 24:47
  And we, it was funny because we were convinced we're having a
• 24:49
  boy. It just made more sense to us.
• 24:53
  We're not obviously. I have a girl dad hat on.
• 24:54
  My wife got it for me. We're convinced we're having a
• 24:58
  boy. And she came over and she put
• 25:00
  the straw in there And like, my wife started to cry and I got a
• 25:04
  little teary eyed too. It's incredible.
• 25:07
  So it was really nice, though. It was really a nice experience.
• 25:10
  They were so nice and helpful over there.
• 25:11
  And the coffees were, were excellent.
• 25:13
  And like, now that I'm having a girl, like it just makes so much
• 25:15
  more sense and the world makes a lot more sense to me.
• 25:17
  And like, it's a, it's a scary feeling having a daughter
• 25:20
  because this world is not made for women.
• 25:22
  I've come to that realization very quickly.
• 25:26
  But like, you know, we had a really nice experience with
• 25:28
  their gender reveal. I think it was so wonderful.
• 25:30
  What do you think it is? I still think it's a girl.
• 25:33
  I'm a I'm a girls man so. Also, they say that if like
• 25:36
  girl, like if you're having a girl, like if your mother's
• 25:39
  stressed out, there's a higher chance that they'll have a girl.
• 25:42
  Isn't that interesting? I.
• 25:43
  Think it's a girl. I want a girl.
• 25:45
  I know. It's a boy, I do.
• 25:48
  Want a girl but I'm teen Healthy baby no.
• 25:52
  Matter, as my wife said, she knows we're having a boy, no.
• 25:55
  Matter what, just a healthy baby.
• 25:57
  Whatever it is, I don't care. Me either really when you go.
• 26:01
  Hey as long as it's white am I right?
• 26:02
  Not that there's anything wrong with a non white baby, but if
• 26:05
  you're both white you probably don't want a different color
• 26:07
  baby. OK, I'm just saying something
• 26:10
  wrong with it. But if they were black I would
• 26:12
  have said as long as it was black because I'm not a racist,
• 26:13
  you are. Shut up, do.
• 26:14
  Infertility and child loss. You're just so grateful.
• 26:22
  I'm so nervous I can't do it. We lift.
• 26:26
  This up and then we look at the Binky together.
• 26:31
  Are you nervous? You.
• 26:34
  Want to do it? Down to three I do. 123.
• 26:39
  So. Nervous and then we.
• 26:40
  That was it. What the fuck?
• 26:41
  We didn't even get it. This up together you.
• 26:43
  Ready 12233. I told you.
• 26:48
  I told you, I told. You I.
• 26:54
  Stop doing, stop doing your. Stop doing your baby, Jenner
• 26:58
  reveals before 12 weeks. Knew it.
• 27:00
  I knew it. I.
• 27:08
  Freaking knew it. Oh my God, Oh my.
• 27:13
  God, honestly. That's wonderful.
• 27:14
  I didn't know if you could make a boy.
• 27:17
  I don't know him. They post this after the other
• 27:20
  news. Oh what the fuck?
• 27:23
  Yeah, they dude, I didn't even catch that August.
• 27:25
  They posted this after they found out their baby was
• 27:28
  miscarried. What the fuck, dude?
• 27:31
  That's oh, I don't know, I don't know dude, I don't know.
• 27:35
  This is kind of fucking weird. I never imagined I would.
• 27:38
  I just feel like why would you post?
• 27:40
  Why would you post this after? I don't know, I guess it's fine.
• 27:46
  It just there's so many uncomfortable steps here.
• 27:48
  I never imagined I would have to learn how to say goodbye to
• 27:50
  another baby after everything. It's hard to get here.
• 27:52
  The appointments, medications, injections, IVF, the transfer,
• 27:54
  watching again like, well, if you're doing all this work and
• 27:56
  putting all the stress in your body, why wouldn't you do the
• 27:58
  genetic testing? Seeing a heartbeat and finally
• 28:01
  allowing myself to believe this baby was coming home.
• 28:03
  We found out at 10 weeks that our baby had stopped growing
• 28:05
  around 7 weeks, 6 days, about 8 weeks.
• 28:07
  There's no heartbeat. There are no words for the kind
• 28:09
  of heart rate that comes with realizing your body is still
• 28:11
  carrying a pregnancy that your heart has already been forced to
• 28:13
  grieve. After losing Nelly, experiencing
• 28:15
  a chemical pregnancy in 2025, and now losing the this little
• 28:18
  life we prayed for. That's really it would be easy
• 28:20
  to believe that the hope has run out, but it hasn't.
• 28:23
  We still have 5 embryos waiting for us. 5 little possibilities.
• 28:25
  Why wouldn't they genetically test these fucking embryos?
• 28:28
  Dude, it makes no sense. There's something doesn't make
• 28:30
  sense to me. It's just like why?
• 28:33
  Like you're trying so hard and you have 6 embryos that are
• 28:35
  fertilized. Why wouldn't you test them
• 28:38
  before you fucking implanted them?
• 28:39
  I don't get it. I don't understand it.
• 28:44
  Right now I'm letting myself grieve this baby and everything
• 28:47
  I imagine for them. The due date, the milestones,
• 28:50
  the bump, the nursery, the life I had already started picturing
• 28:52
  this is what I'm saying. Like I would be devastated.
• 28:53
  Like I would do everything in my power to make sure that like I
• 28:55
  didn't have to go through this if I could.
• 28:57
  If I could. Like genetically testing the
• 28:58
  fucking embryos. I don't know why I road to a
• 29:01
  growing. Our family has held so much
• 29:03
  loss. I just know that I'm not done
• 29:05
  believing that one day after grieving we've survived.
• 29:08
  We'll finally get to hold the baby we've been praying for to
• 29:12
  bring home. I I just, I couldn't I don't
• 29:14
  know this is strange as fuck to me.
• 29:16
  This there's something about this just makes me very
• 29:18
  uncomfortable and makes me feel like there's I don't know.
• 29:20
  I don't want to say anything. This is in another post adding a
• 29:23
  third baby to my list of Angel babies.
• 29:25
  Sometimes I just want to give up.
• 29:26
  We have five more chances have another baby.
• 29:28
  Should I keep going Obviously not happy about the loss, but
• 29:30
  after this child has murdered bro like doesn't this this is so
• 29:34
  strange. This is so is there a post on
• 29:38
  here that's not it's not about her.
• 29:42
  This baby stuff. Emergency DNC post.
• 29:46
  What the fuck is this? This is not appropriate.
• 29:51
  Trigger warning miscarrier. How many times are you going to
• 29:53
  talk about this? Me before my 10 week ultrasound.
• 30:00
  I'm hoping that my baby grew more.
• 30:03
  My baby's been behind. I'm really scared.
• 30:07
  Oh my gosh you got so much anxiety for these scans.
• 30:10
  This is me after my 10 week ultrasound.
• 30:14
  My baby has no heartbeat. Dude, I don't know, there's
• 30:17
  something about this, this is like, OK, listen, I mean, I
• 30:22
  guess we could have this conversation, but part of
• 30:25
  trauma, we'll absolutely be talking about it online.
• 30:29
  Like if you have a traumatic experience, you need to be
• 30:30
  careful about the way that you express it, whether it's online
• 30:32
  or even offline, that's who you express it to because it can add
• 30:35
  to your trauma. And again, I think there could
• 30:37
  be productive expression of like, oh, I had a miscarriage,
• 30:39
  but this woman's entire page is about how she had like one of
• 30:43
  her babies died and then she's had like multiple miscarriages.
• 30:45
  Like there's something about this that is like truly, I don't
• 30:49
  know how to explain it. I, I just like, I just feel like
• 30:52
  if we had my wife and I had this experience, like we would talk
• 30:55
  about it maybe once after like a year after processing.
• 30:58
  But I have so far not been able to find a single post that's not
• 31:00
  about the like her tragedies of one of her babies.
• 31:04
  And that's distressing to me. Like, I mean, and I'm not the
• 31:08
  one that had it happened to. And I this is just like is
• 31:10
  something about this. I wonder if it's just a positive
• 31:14
  attention of people being like, Oh, this was horrible for you.
• 31:16
  I don't, I don't know. I don't know what happened well.
• 31:21
  We know what happened. She refused to get the genetic
• 31:23
  testing for the embryo because she was so desperate to have a
• 31:25
  baby. I'm. 10 I'm.
• 31:26
  Not going to be rude, I'm not trying to say this is like all
• 31:28
  her fault, but like you had that ability to make that productive
• 31:31
  choice and you you just decided not to.
• 31:35
  It's by your own admittance. Weeks, one day on the calendar,
• 31:38
  but my baby was 7 weeks, 6 days. OK, I I don't know what
• 31:48
  happened. My IBF doctor, Doctor Simka said
• 31:54
  once you see a heartbeat, it's less than 2% chance you
• 31:58
  miscarry, so no. Is that is that the case?
• 32:02
  Is that real? I've never heard that before.
• 32:05
  I'm just like, what happened? What was it?
• 32:08
  You know, we have no idea. So I'm going to be seen by.
• 32:15
  I'm going to see Doctor Simka soon.
• 32:18
  I'm getting AD and C I'm literally already texting.
• 32:23
  Oh yeah, that is true. Well, once a healthy heartbeat
• 32:25
  is seen on an ultrasound, the overall chance of miscarriage
• 32:26
  falls to around 10%. Interesting.
• 32:29
  At 8:00 we. Oh so she was at 8 weeks too.
• 32:31
  So that would make it amount for being about 1 1/2 percent risk.
• 32:34
  Interesting. I texted him the second I left.
• 32:37
  I said, hey, miscarriage. At least I'm in good hands with
• 32:44
  him. And that brings me comfort
• 32:47
  because I know he's at least trying for me and he's looking
• 32:51
  out for me and he he's the best. He always says you're going to
• 32:56
  win. It doesn't feel like I'm ever
• 33:01
  going to win. Nelly died.
• 33:04
  And then the chemical pregnancy and then this one.
• 33:07
  I'm going to be on my 4th. I don't know, I feel like the
• 33:10
  I'm not trying to be a Dick. I feel like the kept book.
• 33:12
  I don't know. This is the problem with this is
• 33:15
  that like this is this is really difficult to talk about and
• 33:17
  watch because I'm getting like weird.
• 33:18
  This is making me feel weird. Why?
• 33:20
  I feel like, why are you talking about the fucking chemical
• 33:22
  pregnancy? I feel like I wouldn't.
• 33:23
  That wouldn't really be the one. That would be one of my three.
• 33:26
  You know? I'd be like, yeah, like my baby,
• 33:27
  I burst a baby and it fucking died.
• 33:29
  Like, that would destroy me for the rest of my entire life.
• 33:31
  And then this one makes sense too.
• 33:32
  But like the chemical pregnancy, which is like, I don't know.
• 33:35
  What's that? OK, I don't know.
• 33:40
  Pregnancy with no baby. I mean if you know if the
• 33:45
  transfer works, but I mean I guess at least.
• 33:49
  It makes sense that she has her IVF doctor's number.
• 33:51
  My wife has the number of our OBGYN and our fertility Dr. that
• 33:55
  we worked with. So.
• 33:56
  A. Lot of people in this situation
• 33:59
  have a lot of anxiety about having kids.
• 34:01
  So like we have a really nice OBGYN and he's like, listen, if
• 34:04
  you want to come in weekly, do it like just to get a heartbeat
• 34:07
  scan. Like just do it just for your
• 34:09
  your mental because my wife's talking crazy.
• 34:11
  Or why this happened. The only thing that's bringing
• 34:15
  me maybe some comfort is hopefully it was just because
• 34:21
  this baby was not euploid. I think is the word PGTA normal
• 34:29
  or whatever. I think it might have something
• 34:32
  to do with you ignoring getting testing done on your eye like on
• 34:34
  this. For some reason I had to.
• 34:36
  Makes no sense to me. So we're going to test our
• 34:38
  embryos. You should have tested the
• 34:41
  embryo. This is one of the six embryos.
• 34:43
  Why didn't you test it? Well, at least it seems like
• 34:45
  she's making her a lot of her content about being skinny.
• 34:47
  What I eat in a day. Seven week pregnant skinny.
• 34:50
  Jesus Christ. OK, OK, that's crazy.
• 34:57
  Oh, so she repo dude, That's, that's weird.
• 35:01
  So she reposted the gender reveal after again, this is the
• 35:05
  original post and it's from like a week earlier or so.
• 35:08
  Maybe a little more than a week, maybe a month earlier, she
• 35:10
  reposted the the, the, the, the gender reveal again after she
• 35:15
  had already done it because I'm assuming she wanted to
• 35:20
  capitalize off of the death of her baby.
• 35:22
  And that's horrible. I don't mean to be like rude,
• 35:24
  but like there's no other reason I could think of and like, maybe
• 35:27
  that's OK, Maybe it's OK, like, hey, at least what's the silver
• 35:29
  lining thing? But I just feel like it's a it's
• 35:31
  a bad mental thing to get like a reward system for a loss like
• 35:35
  that. I don't know.
• 35:36
  There's so I feel like social media has like destroyed this
• 35:38
  woman's brain. Six week ultrasound update,
• 35:41
  Dude, she's terrifying. Everything.
• 35:42
  Look at this. We couldn't do it.
• 35:44
  But looks that's nice. I have pictures of my daughter
• 35:48
  here too. I don't really want to show them
• 35:50
  to you because they have our name on it.
• 35:53
  I actually have had this sitting in here since we got them at
• 35:56
  like fucking. I don't even know how many weeks
• 35:59
  we got this on. Wow.
• 36:04
  This is from March 19th. This has been sitting on my desk
• 36:08
  since March Martin's desk since March 19th.
• 36:10
  And we didn't tell anybody we were pregnant I think until 24.
• 36:15
  We well, we told, we didn't tell anybody till 12 weeks.
• 36:17
  We told our mothers and, and my brother-in-law and my my cousin
• 36:22
  and my aunt and my bapshi and her grandmother, but we didn't
• 36:25
  tell the Internet, I want to say until like 24 weeks or
• 36:27
  something. So this is from 3:19 and we grew
• 36:30
  pregnant. Like I think that we conceived
• 36:33
  on basically like I think that's on February 13th.
• 36:37
  So like a month. This is like 4-5 or six weeks,
• 36:40
  man. I've had that sitting there
• 36:41
  since then. You know, it's an incredible
• 36:44
  thing. So I really, I, I get, I get it,
• 36:48
  I get it. Look at this.
• 36:49
  By the way, I just want to close POV.
• 36:51
  It's transfer day. But you're diabetic.
• 36:57
  I don't know, man. So like, obviously if you're
• 37:00
  diabetic, OK, what, what the fuck are you eating McDonald's
• 37:03
  frost or whatever? I don't know.
• 37:05
  This is like kind of like bizarre to me a little bit
• 37:07
  because like the first baby, it looked like she had some kind of
• 37:09
  like prenatal diabetes because the baby was so big.
• 37:12
  So I mean, I'm wondering if she's actually trying to keep
• 37:15
  her weight under her, excuse me, her health under control.
• 37:17
  And I'm not saying like, hey, you have to lose weight, blah,
• 37:18
  blah, blah. It helps obviously.
• 37:20
  But like, you can be overweight and still do the best you can to
• 37:22
  be healthy. Like my wife, again, she was
• 37:24
  very active for most of her pregnancy.
• 37:27
  She's fallen off on Zumba a little bit, but we're also doing
• 37:28
  a ton of housework. She's been taking all the
• 37:31
  vitamins and everything that she needs to take and like whatever
• 37:33
  shots she needs and like she, everything is measuring really
• 37:36
  well. So it's like, you know, if
• 37:37
  you're diabetic, like you have to take extra precautions when
• 37:39
  you're pregnant because like it could be a real problem.
• 37:41
  Like you need to monitor yourself constantly.
• 37:43
  This is a transfer day. This is I guess this is the day
• 37:45
  they put the embryo inside of her.
• 37:46
  I'm. Really nervous.
• 37:49
  How is she even getting IVF? She has this fucking sweater
• 37:52
  that says IVF. How are you even getting IVF?
• 37:56
  Because like they said, my wife was too overweight to get IVF
• 37:58
  which is fucking preposterous because they can't do like
• 38:01
  whatever bolsh like the fucking bolt, which I think is
• 38:03
  ridiculous. Like they they knocked me out.
• 38:04
  I'm objectively bigger than my wife.
• 38:06
  They knocked me out to get an endoscopy but they can't knock
• 38:09
  her out to give her fucking IVFI find that to be ridiculous in.
• 38:12
  1. Hour you have to drink as
• 38:17
  tremendous amount of water and put TikTok filters on.
• 38:23
  My bladder needs to double in size.
• 38:26
  We're tossing these babies. I guess you do okay.
• 38:29
  Incredible. Back.
• 38:36
  She's just drinking a while then.
• 38:40
  I. Started off, she got the IDF
• 38:43
  sorted by serving. Wait, did it say IDF or IVF?
• 38:46
  You fucking got me, dude. She an Israeli plant.
• 38:49
  She said this baby died so long ago and she keeps reposting it.
• 38:52
  I just, I there's something really, there's something really
• 38:55
  not good about this page. Retrieval, Dad.
• 38:58
  Like it just kind of seems everything is about bait like
• 39:01
  and this is the problem is like there's so many posts about the
• 39:04
  baby passing different now. I don't know what the hell.
• 39:09
  I don't know. Dude.
• 39:10
  We have one of these so funny. We have one of these.
• 39:14
  It's saying right next to me it says baby gut.
• 39:16
  That's backwards here. I'll help you out.
• 39:18
  Maybe got projected November, but it might be sooner, it might
• 39:23
  be later. Well, it'll be it'll be in
• 39:25
  November, October but later in November.
• 39:28
  But you guys don't know the date so it doesn't matter.
• 39:29
  Here we go after 2 failed IVF retrieval.
• 39:31
  I don't know man, there's something wrong with this
• 39:33
  fucking page. Here's another post about her,
• 39:36
  her baby that passed away years ago 26,000 I don't know, dude.
• 39:41
  Here's another one about it. This makes me uncomfortable.
• 39:44
  I don't know why I continuously engage with this.
• 39:46
  Honestly, I thought I was going to come into this video and I
• 39:48
  was going to have a lot to say productively about the first
• 39:51
  thing I wanted to show you guys, which I think I did, but I think
• 39:54
  that we've kind of unintentionally stumbled.
• 39:58
  What the fuck is this? We've unintentionally stumbled
• 39:59
  into this like very bizarre case study on what you need to not do
• 40:03
  if you want to be a social media influencer because this is
• 40:06
  constant posts about the baby that passed and there's just
• 40:09
  such an inappropriate. There's just such an
• 40:13
  inappropriate relationship with content.
• 40:15
  I think you can make content about wanting to be fertilitied
• 40:18
  attendees. It's crazy to do that,
• 40:22
  especially the traumatizing ones.
• 40:24
  Whatever. I think it's fine, but like the
• 40:26
  way that they're doing it seems like it just doesn't make sense
• 40:31
  to me. It seems like they're constantly
• 40:32
  trying to bait but their their own trauma and I guess it's
• 40:37
  their right to do it, but it just makes me deeply
• 40:40
  uncomfortable. I'm still scrolling down and
• 40:43
  there's like it looks like there's at least one video a
• 40:46
  week about their their their baby that had passed away.
• 40:50
  It's constant. It's you could see it Boom,
• 40:53
  boom, like these are five days worth.
• 40:55
  Boom. There's one here that's in this
• 40:57
  five days. Here's one here.
• 40:58
  You know, you can constantly see that there's just like another
• 41:01
  over. Here's another one.
• 41:02
  It's inappropriate. I don't know what the fuck this
• 41:04
  is insane. It's just I don't know.
• 41:06
  I think that we need to stop watching this to be honest with
• 41:09
  you.