Latest / The Voice: Breaking, Believing, Becoming / I Thought Healing Was Hard… Then I Dowloaded Dating Apps

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I Thought Healing Was Hard… Then I Dowloaded Dating Apps · The Voice: Breaking, Believing, Becoming

• 0:10
  Welcome to The Voice, where breaking, believing, and becoming finally have somewhere to be heard.
• 0:17
  I'm Kim Munoz, and I'm so excited that you're here today.
• 0:22
  Okay, we need to talk about what is happening, because somewhere between healing,
• 0:27
  glowing up, and minding my business, I accidentally re-entered the dating world.
• 0:32
  And Jesus, Mary, and Joseph, I just want to know, is everyone okay?
• 0:39
  Because I have questions. I have so many questions.
• 0:44
  Now listen, this is coming from someone who spent the better part of her life
• 0:48
  in a monogamous relationship or marriage.
• 0:50
  So when I say things have changed, what I mean is, what is this?
• 0:56
  We went from meeting people in real life to swiping on men holding fish like
• 1:02
  it's a personality trait.
• 1:05
  Are we dating? Are we deep sea fishing. And it's not just the glamour shots.
• 1:10
  You know the ones, where they're trying to show personality,
• 1:14
  but you don't know them yet, so it just feels like a weird, slightly concerning
• 1:18
  photo with zero context.
• 1:21
  But more than that, it's the moral compass for me. What has happened to everyone?
• 1:26
  Have we gone full nude colony?
• 1:28
  I mean, open relationships?
• 1:31
  I'm sorry, but I was in one of those for 20 plus years and didn't even know
• 1:35
  it. So that's a respectful no.
• 1:38
  And also, does your partner know they're in one?
• 1:42
  Then there's the thruple. I didn't even know that was a word,
• 1:46
  much less an actual relationship option.
• 1:49
  And the unsolicited photos. Wow.
• 1:53
  Respectfully, those are not the visuals you think they are, guys.
• 1:57
  Send me a picture of pretty much any other body part, but your middle leg,
• 2:03
  I'm going to need you to keep that one to yourself.
• 2:06
  Let's talk about the apps. There's so many apps, But why does every profile
• 2:12
  feel like one gym selfie, one blurry group photo where I'm having to play detective,
• 2:19
  a full-on Where's Waldo situation,
• 2:21
  one hat plus sunglass combo, immediately suspicious, and at least one photo
• 2:27
  with a deer, a fish, or a truck?
• 2:31
  And then there's the bio, where you think you might learn a little bit about
• 2:35
  someone, and it says, just ask.
• 2:39
  No, no, I will not. You had one job.
• 2:43
  Is it too much to ask that you tell me literally anything about yourself?
• 2:47
  And you've got the other extreme, the ludite boyfriend wannabes. You know the ones.
• 2:52
  I'm just not really into phones. I don't really text.
• 2:57
  I like to keep things simple.
• 2:59
  Well, it's 2026. You found me on an app on your phone. but now suddenly communication
• 3:07
  is where you draw the line.
• 3:09
  So you want a girlfriend, but like a landline version?
• 3:13
  No texting, no consistency, just vibes and occasional check-ins like it's 1842.
• 3:20
  That's going to be a hard no. And then the conversations or lack thereof,
• 3:27
  Hey, hey, that's it? That's what we're doing?
• 3:30
  We have careers, we pay taxes, we survive group tax, for God's sakes,
• 3:35
  and this is your opening line?
• 3:37
  And then you spend all this time answering the same questions,
• 3:42
  telling your story over and over and over again, and then poof,
• 3:48
  ghosted. No explanation.
• 3:51
  I mean, one minute you're exactly what they've been looking for,
• 3:54
  and the next, they're gone.
• 3:57
  Then you've got the breadcrumbers, the ones that like every story,
• 4:01
  they're dropping heart emojis like it's their job, but they never actually ask you out.
• 4:07
  What's the point? Save your emojis, buddy.
• 4:11
  It starts to feel like a tryout, and you're never going to make the team.
• 4:16
  It's exhausting, truly.
• 4:18
  And look, in full transparency, I even revisited a couple of old flames,
• 4:23
  you know, just to see if there were any sparks left.
• 4:27
  Let's just say what was there 30 years ago, it ain't what's happening now, not even a little bit.
• 4:33
  One of them turned into a full on medical episode, and the other one finished
• 4:38
  the moment before it even started, and then just acted like the job was complete.
• 4:43
  Hello, I'm right here. I was like, oh, so this is where we are in life.
• 4:49
  And honestly, at this point, between the ghosting, the bread crummers,
• 4:54
  and my recent trip down memory lane, I'm starting to think maybe the apps might
• 4:58
  actually be the less confusing option.
• 5:02
  Then there's the guy who direct messages me about a photo that I took in my
• 5:07
  Pilates studio and says, when do those legs open for business?
• 5:13
  Well, it's not a Waffle House. I'm not open 24 hours.
• 5:18
  And honestly, who is that line working on? Because I'd like to meet her,
• 5:23
  just for research purposes.
• 5:26
  Then I finally make what I think is a real connection.
• 5:30
  Strong conversation, same values, same family dynamics, shared war stories, if you will.
• 5:38
  But there was only one photo on the profile.
• 5:41
  And I knew better. I never swipe on one-picture profiles, but something about his smile got me.
• 5:47
  So I thought, okay, maybe this one is different.
• 5:50
  Nope, not different, not even a little bit.
• 5:54
  That was not the same man in person.
• 5:57
  I was catfished, hook, line, and sinker. And I'm sitting there like,
• 6:02
  did you think I was going to forget what you looked like in your photo that you had?
• 6:08
  Because that's the person I connected with. not the stranger smiling awkwardly across the table.
• 6:14
  And that's the moment you just sit there and think, okay, so we're unwell.
• 6:20
  But if I'm being honest, this whole experience has shown me something.
• 6:24
  Because the version of me that would have ignored red flags,
• 6:28
  over-explained myself, or tried to understand potential.
• 6:33
  She's not here anymore. And honestly, that might be the real connection I'm making in this season.
• 6:40
  Dating now feels like a job interview no one prepares you for,
• 6:44
  mixed with a social experiment and just a touch of emotional roulette,
• 6:48
  but also I'm not confused about who I am anymore.
• 6:52
  So while everything out here feels chaotic, I don't feel chaotic.
• 6:57
  So yeah, this episode isn't about having it all figured out.
• 7:01
  It's about realizing that sometimes you can be healed, whole,
• 7:05
  and still look around like, what is happening? And maybe that's okay.
• 7:09
  Maybe we're just out here learning how to laugh again and trusting that when
• 7:14
  the time is right, my person will show up, and when they do,
• 7:17
  I'll be ready, open heart and all.
• 7:20
  Because despite everything, I still believe in love. I just know how to recognize it now.
• 7:28
  I will see you next time and until then take care of yourself maybe double check
• 7:34
  their profile before you respond and if life feels a little messy right now
• 7:38
  if you're in one of those breaking seasons just hold on believing is coming
• 7:43
  and becoming well it's already happening. Till next time.