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X Minus One - "Childs Play" (Old Time Radio, 1955) · X Minus One | Old Time Radio

• 0:00
  Speaker 1: William Tenn wrote the 1947 short story that George Lefferts
• 0:04
  Speaker 1: adapted for NBC Radio under the direction of Daniel Sutter.
• 0:09
  Speaker 1: On October 20th, 1955, X-1 presented episode 21, Child's Play,
• 0:16
  Speaker 1: with John Gibson as struggling lawyer Sam Weber, Peggy Lubin
• 0:20
  Speaker 1: as Tina, Bob Hastings as Lou White, and Grant Richards
• 0:24
  Speaker 1: as Weber's alter ego. A Build-A-Man kit, sent from the future,
• 0:30
  Speaker 1: reaches Weber and leads him to explore its biological possibilities
• 0:34
  Speaker 1: in his apartment and law office. NBC presented the program
• 0:38
  Speaker 1: in cooperation with Street & Smith, publishers of astounding science fiction.
• 0:43
  Speaker 1: Ladies and gentlemen, we now take you back to the
• 0:46
  Speaker 1: original broadcast. Follow X-1 for more classic broadcasts.
• 0:53
  Speaker 2: Countdown for blastoff.
• 0:57
  Speaker 3: X minus 5, 4, 3, 2, X minus 1, fire.
• 1:29
  Speaker 4: From the far horizons of the unknown come transcribed tales
• 1:33
  Speaker 4: of new dimensions in time and space.
• 1:35
  Speaker 2: These are stories of the future.
• 1:37
  Speaker 4: Adventures in which you'll live in a million could be
• 1:40
  Speaker 4: years on a thousand maybe worlds. The National Broadcasting Company,
• 1:43
  Speaker 4: in cooperation with Street and Smith, publishers of astounding science fiction, presents.
• 1:48
  Speaker 2: X minus 1.
• 2:02
  Speaker 5: Tonight's story, Child's Play by William Tenn.
• 2:14
  Speaker 6: My name, Sam Weber. My job, an attorney, and a
• 2:17
  Speaker 6: pretty successful one, if I do say so myself. Maybe
• 2:21
  Speaker 6: you won't believe it, my best friends find it hard
• 2:23
  Speaker 6: to believe, but I used to be a completely different guy.
• 2:26
  Speaker 2: Frightened, sickly, nearsighted, a real mortem amique. No kidding. That
• 2:32
  Speaker 2: was ten years ago.
• 2:34
  Speaker 6: The big change in me began to take place on
• 2:36
  Speaker 6: a cold December morning in 1955.
• 2:40
  Speaker 5: Just a moment, please. Yes, please.
• 2:44
  Speaker 2: Weber? Yes. Samuel?
• 2:46
  Speaker 5: That's right.
• 2:47
  Speaker 2: Okay, Jack, step back.
• 2:49
  Speaker 5: All right, fellas, bring it in. Just a moment. You
• 2:51
  Speaker 5: must have the wrong... Watch it, Jack.
• 2:54
  Speaker 2: Sign here.
• 2:55
  Speaker 5: Is that for me? Weber, Garden Apartments. It looks like
• 2:59
  Speaker 5: a coffin. I don't design them, Jack. I just deliver them.
• 3:02
  Speaker 5: Sign here.
• 3:11
  Speaker 2: After much straining, I.
• 3:13
  Speaker 6: Wasn't in very good physical shape those days. I managed
• 3:16
  Speaker 6: to push the box under my single light bulb. There
• 3:18
  Speaker 6: was a card in the small envelope.
• 3:22
  Speaker 5: Let's see. To Sam from your classmates. At the Interdimensional
• 3:29
  Speaker 5: and Cosmic Institute. Merry Christmas. 2155. Holy jumping catfish.
• 3:40
  Speaker 7: Hey, mister.
• 3:41
  Speaker 6: Hey, mister.
• 3:42
  Speaker 3: There must be some mistake. Hey.
• 3:44
  Speaker 5: Holy jumping catfish.
• 3:50
  Speaker 2: They were gone.
• 3:51
  Speaker 6: And I didn't even know which delivery company it was.
• 3:55
  Speaker 2: I sat down to think.
• 3:57
  Speaker 6: And it was just beginning to seep into my sleepy
• 3:59
  Speaker 6: brain that maybe this was one of Lou White's practical
• 4:02
  Speaker 6: jokes when I noticed there was something funny about that box.
• 4:06
  Speaker 6: For one thing, it was dated 2155, 200 years from now.
• 4:10
  Speaker 6: And for another thing, it was solid gold.
• 4:12
  Speaker 2: Pop had been in the jewelry business long enough for
• 4:14
  Speaker 2: me to verify that.
• 4:16
  Speaker 6: At that point, I decided to open it up and
• 4:18
  Speaker 6: see what was in it.
• 4:19
  Speaker 2: After about a half hour of fumbling, I gave up.
• 4:24
  Speaker 2: All right.
• 4:24
  Speaker 5: If you won't open, you won't open.
• 4:36
  Speaker 6: No sooner had I said the word open than it
• 4:38
  Speaker 6: came apart like the skin off a banana. There inside
• 4:42
  Speaker 6: was something resembling a high-powered kid's chemical set.
• 4:46
  Speaker 2: Vials, jars, tubes, wires.
• 4:48
  Speaker 6: You never saw so much scientific-looking junk in your life.
• 4:52
  Speaker 6: And on top of it all was a book of
• 4:53
  Speaker 6: instructions printed in mad green streaks.
• 4:57
  Speaker 2: I opened the cover and read page one.
• 4:59
  Speaker 6: Build-A-Man set number three. This set is intended solely for
• 5:09
  Speaker 6: the use of children between the ages of 11 and 13.
• 5:13
  Speaker 2: The equipment will enable.
• 5:15
  Speaker 6: The child to build and assemble complete adult humans in
• 5:18
  Speaker 6: perfect working order. A disassemblator is provided so the set
• 5:23
  Speaker 6: may be used again and again with profit. Refills and
• 5:26
  Speaker 6: additional parts may be acquired from the Build-A-Man Company, 928,
• 5:31
  Speaker 6: Diagonal Level, Glunt City, Ohio. Remember, only with Build-A-Man can
• 5:37
  Speaker 6: you build a man. When I arrived at work that morning,
• 5:46
  Speaker 6: an hour late, my brain was still reeling with the
• 5:48
  Speaker 6: stuff I'd read in the instruction book. By the time
• 5:51
  Speaker 6: I'd reached the office, I'd decided it had been a
• 5:53
  Speaker 6: bad dream and it would be over by nightfall.
• 5:58
  Speaker 8: Somerset and Ojack, attorneys at law.
• 6:01
  Speaker 9: Just a moment. I'll connect you with Mr.
• 6:02
  Speaker 5: Ojack.
• 6:04
  Speaker 9: Oh, good morning, Mr.
• 6:05
  Speaker 5: Weber. Good morning. I mean, good morning. I've got to
• 6:09
  Speaker 5: get my mind off that book.
• 6:11
  Speaker 6: Only with Build-A-Man can you build a man.
• 6:15
  Speaker 5: It must have been a dream. Probably go home tonight
• 6:19
  Speaker 5: and find the place empty.
• 6:21
  Speaker 10: Well, well, well, if it isn't the poor man's Clarence Darrow.
• 6:23
  Speaker 3: Hiya, Sam!
• 6:25
  Speaker 8: Sam?
• 6:27
  Speaker 5: Oh, hello, Lou.
• 6:29
  Speaker 3: I come as bearer of sad tidings.
• 6:31
  Speaker 5: You don't look very sad.
• 6:32
  Speaker 3: Boss wants to see you laughing, boy.
• 6:34
  Speaker 5: What about?
• 6:35
  Speaker 10: Well, how should I know? Oh, and by the way, Sam,
• 6:38
  Speaker 10: you'll be happy to know that I've just been promoted.
• 6:40
  Speaker 10: I'm handling all the.
• 6:41
  Speaker 3: Criminal stuff from now on.
• 6:42
  Speaker 5: Congratulations.
• 6:43
  Speaker 2: Of course, you know what.
• 6:44
  Speaker 3: This means for Tina and me, don't you, Sammy?
• 6:47
  Speaker 5: Ah, cheer up, son.
• 6:48
  Speaker 3: Tina's not for you anyway. Some got it, some don't.
• 6:51
  Speaker 8: Me?
• 6:52
  Speaker 3: I'm loaded.
• 6:52
  Speaker 2: You?
• 6:53
  Speaker 8: Nothing.
• 6:54
  Speaker 3: So long, laughing boy.
• 6:55
  Speaker 6: That was my good friend, Lou White. Lou was one
• 7:09
  Speaker 6: of those guys who always lands with his feet firmly
• 7:11
  Speaker 6: planted in the back of somebody else's neck. In the
• 7:15
  Speaker 6: year I had known him, he'd already managed to steal
• 7:17
  Speaker 6: the job I wanted, and he was now working on
• 7:19
  Speaker 6: the girl I wanted.
• 7:20
  Speaker 2: Her name was Tina. Tina Velvet. She was.
• 7:31
  Speaker 9: Good morning, Sam.
• 7:32
  Speaker 5: Oh, good morning, Tina. My, you look... Yes? Good enough
• 7:38
  Speaker 5: to take to lunch.
• 7:39
  Speaker 9: Oh, I'm sorry, Sam, but I promised Lou.
• 7:41
  Speaker 7: Sure.
• 7:41
  Speaker 2: Sure.
• 7:42
  Speaker 9: I hope you're not too disappointed.
• 7:44
  Speaker 5: Me? Oh, no, no. Some got it, some don't. I don't.
• 7:54
  Speaker 6: Theoretically, Tina was employed by Somerset and Ojack as combination
• 7:58
  Speaker 6: secretary and switchboard operator for Lou and me. I guess
• 8:01
  Speaker 6: she wasn't what you'd call really smart, but she always
• 8:03
  Speaker 6: managed to look like a pinup girl caught with her
• 8:05
  Speaker 6: clothes on, if you know what I mean.
• 8:08
  Speaker 2: Well, that was Tina.
• 8:09
  Speaker 6: I tried to steady my blood pressure as I walked
• 8:12
  Speaker 6: into the boss's office.
• 8:14
  Speaker 5: You sent for me, Mr. Ojek?
• 8:16
  Speaker 2: Oh, yes. Sit down, Webber.
• 8:17
  Speaker 5: Sit down. Thank you, Mr. Ojek.
• 8:19
  Speaker 11: My boy, in this business, you've got to be aggressive.
• 8:21
  Speaker 11: You've got to go out and create new clients. I
• 8:23
  Speaker 11: don't mean ambulance chasing or anything like that, but you've
• 8:25
  Speaker 11: got to show some zip.
• 8:27
  Speaker 5: Yes, sir.
• 8:28
  Speaker 11: Well, get in there and punch, Webber. I want to
• 8:31
  Speaker 11: see a change in you in the next few months.
• 8:32
  Speaker 11: As a matter of fact, you'd better. I went back
• 8:37
  Speaker 11: to my office, resolved to show some zip. I bit
• 8:40
  Speaker 11: savagely into a copy of Hackleworth's Aunt Tort's.
• 8:43
  Speaker 2: Then I called Tina for a memo. By the time
• 8:46
  Speaker 2: she came in, my mind was wandering again.
• 8:49
  Speaker 8: Rosenthal versus Rosenthal. On August 4th, the party, the first part.
• 8:53
  Speaker 8: What comes next? Sam, what comes next?
• 8:59
  Speaker 5: Oh, listen, forget the memo for a while. I want
• 9:03
  Speaker 5: you to take a letter.
• 9:04
  Speaker 9: All right, Sam.
• 9:05
  Speaker 5: Today's date, usual heading. To the Chamber of Commerce, Glunt City, Ohio. Gentlemen,
• 9:11
  Speaker 5: would you inform me if you have registered a street
• 9:16
  Speaker 5: or avenue known as Diagonal Level or Avenue? I write
• 9:21
  Speaker 5: on behalf of a new client of mine.
• 9:23
  Speaker 8: Oh, Sam, he was a new client. I wondered about it,
• 9:27
  Speaker 8: but he looked so strange and sinister.
• 9:29
  Speaker 5: What did he look like?
• 9:30
  Speaker 8: He was a terribly tall old man in a black overcoat.
• 9:33
  Speaker 8: He asked if you were in, and then he tried
• 9:34
  Speaker 8: to get your home address. But he looked and acted
• 9:37
  Speaker 8: so strange, I didn't give it to him. He went
• 9:39
  Speaker 8: away positively furious.
• 9:40
  Speaker 5: That's great. Did he leave his name?
• 9:43
  Speaker 9: Well, that's the funny part of it.
• 9:45
  Speaker 8: He just said he was the censor or the census
• 9:47
  Speaker 8: taker or something from the 24th oblong.
• 9:58
  Speaker 2: I left the office early and went home.
• 10:01
  Speaker 6: Sure enough, there it was, my dull demand set gleaming
• 10:04
  Speaker 6: a little obscenely in the corner.
• 10:06
  Speaker 2: I walked over to it, gave it a kick, and hollered,
• 10:09
  Speaker 2: open sesame.
• 10:11
  Speaker 6: Three minutes later, I was flopped down in bed reading
• 10:14
  Speaker 6: chapter one, making simple living things. An hour later, I
• 10:18
  Speaker 6: was fooling around with such complicated items as the junior bi-calibrator,
• 10:22
  Speaker 6: which measured everything from blood pressure to hemoglobin content. and
• 10:25
  Speaker 6: the Jiffy Vitalizer, which was actually supposed to put life
• 10:28
  Speaker 6: in your creation, providing you had followed instructions carefully. At
• 10:32
  Speaker 6: 8 o'clock, I went out to supper with the idea
• 10:34
  Speaker 6: of getting a little drunk.
• 10:35
  Speaker 2: I did.
• 10:37
  Speaker 6: At 9.45, I came back and made my first simple
• 10:40
  Speaker 6: living thing.
• 10:42
  Speaker 5: Here, boy.
• 10:43
  Speaker 2: Here, boy.
• 10:45
  Speaker 5: Maybe you aren't a boy. Let's see. According to the book,
• 10:50
  Speaker 5: you are a rubicular oyster hog. Not much to look at,
• 10:55
  Speaker 5: but I made you. Me, Sam Weber, attorney at law.
• 11:01
  Speaker 5: I have created life. Hey, hey, come back here. Come back.
• 11:06
  Speaker 3: Here, boy. Here, boy.
• 11:08
  Speaker 9: Here, boy.
• 11:09
  Speaker 12: Hey.
• 11:11
  Speaker 2: It was no use.
• 11:19
  Speaker 6: My rubicular oyster hog, which was a cross between a
• 11:21
  Speaker 6: field mouse and an oyster, had run out under the
• 11:24
  Speaker 6: door and into the world. Next morning in the office,
• 11:26
  Speaker 6: I turned to chapter two, duplicating babies and small humans.
• 11:32
  Speaker 5: Assemble your mannequin, setting all molds to the indicated calibrations.
• 11:37
  Speaker 5: To disassemble a model, use the disassemblator provided with the set.
• 11:43
  Speaker 5: If you cannot destroy your creation, the law requires you
• 11:47
  Speaker 5: to call the census keeper for your oblong.
• 11:52
  Speaker 12: Good morning, Sam.
• 11:53
  Speaker 9: Here's that memo on Rosenthal versus Rosenthal. Also a letter
• 11:57
  Speaker 9: for you. Shall I read it?
• 11:59
  Speaker 5: Please.
• 12:01
  Speaker 9: Dear Mr.
• 12:02
  Speaker 8: Weber, there is no firm at Blunt City bearing the
• 12:05
  Speaker 8: name of Build-A-Man, nor do we have any thoroughfare called Diagonal.
• 12:10
  Speaker 8: Sincerely yours, Thomas Plantagenet, Mayor.
• 12:13
  Speaker 5: Well, that's that.
• 12:15
  Speaker 9: Oh, by the way, your client was here again this morning,
• 12:18
  Speaker 9: the ghoulish one.
• 12:18
  Speaker 5: Where'd you tell him?
• 12:20
  Speaker 9: I said you'd be in later.
• 12:21
  Speaker 12: Thanks.
• 12:22
  Speaker 9: Will that be all, Sam?
• 12:23
  Speaker 10: Yes.
• 12:24
  Speaker 2: No.
• 12:26
  Speaker 5: Are you doing anything New Year's Eve?
• 12:28
  Speaker 9: Sam, I'm disappointed in you.
• 12:30
  Speaker 5: What did I do?
• 12:31
  Speaker 9: You haven't even noticed.
• 12:33
  Speaker 5: Noticed what?
• 12:34
  Speaker 9: The ring, silly. Third finger, left hand.
• 12:37
  Speaker 5: What?
• 12:39
  Speaker 9: Lou gave it to me.
• 12:41
  Speaker 5: Well, Lou has plenty of zip. I'm sure you'll be
• 12:45
  Speaker 5: very happy zipping around with each other.
• 12:48
  Speaker 8: Oh, Sam.
• 12:49
  Speaker 5: What's the matter?
• 12:51
  Speaker 8: I don't know. I.
• 12:52
  Speaker 9: I'm so confused.
• 12:54
  Speaker 3: Hey, listen, what's going.
• 12:55
  Speaker 4: On in here?
• 12:56
  Speaker 5: Tina just told me the good news about your engagement.
• 12:59
  Speaker 5: She's crying with happiness.
• 13:02
  Speaker 3: Oh, is that right, honey?
• 13:05
  Speaker 10: Well, no hard feelings, Sam. It's just that the best
• 13:08
  Speaker 10: man got the girl. You understand how it is. Oh,
• 13:10
  Speaker 10: by the way, we're having a little celebration at Sigali's tonight.
• 13:12
  Speaker 10: Drop around and we'll live it up a little, huh?
• 13:21
  Speaker 6: I went home feeling like a man who had been
• 13:23
  Speaker 6: stuffed into a washing machine with the dial set at
• 13:26
  Speaker 6: rinse dry. I was a failure. My job was a bust.
• 13:30
  Speaker 6: My girl was going to marry a football player. I'd
• 13:32
  Speaker 6: been playing God with a chemistry set from some crazy
• 13:36
  Speaker 6: futuristic world.
• 13:38
  Speaker 2: And the bill collectors were hot on my heels.
• 13:42
  Speaker 5: Why not? Think of it. A Sam Weber without all
• 13:47
  Speaker 5: the psychological problems you've got. A dynamic, uninhibited Sam who
• 13:52
  Speaker 5: could win a girl like Tina by sheer magnetism. Then
• 13:56
  Speaker 5: when it was all over, we'd just take the old
• 13:58
  Speaker 5: disassemblator and presto. And I can do it, too. Chromosome
• 14:14
  Speaker 5: content check. Well, here goes. It's moving. Holy mackerel. It's alive.
• 14:29
  Speaker 5: It's sitting up.
• 14:32
  Speaker 12: Whoa!
• 14:33
  Speaker 2: Hey, I feel great.
• 14:34
  Speaker 5: Take it easy. Do you know who you are?
• 14:37
  Speaker 6: Don't give me that take it easy routine. Of course
• 14:40
  Speaker 6: I know who I am. I have all the thoughts
• 14:42
  Speaker 6: you ever had up until the point I was vitalized.
• 14:44
  Speaker 6: My brain is an exact duplicate of yours, except that
• 14:47
  Speaker 6: I'm not all blocked up psychologically. Oh, by the way,
• 14:50
  Speaker 6: since we both have the same name, it'll simplify things
• 14:52
  Speaker 6: if I call you Weber.
• 14:54
  Speaker 2: I'll be Sam.
• 14:55
  Speaker 6: Look here, I'll make the decisions. How would you like
• 14:58
  Speaker 6: a good punch in the nose?
• 15:00
  Speaker 5: Is that any way to talk to your own parent?
• 15:04
  Speaker 5: I did create you, you know.
• 15:05
  Speaker 6: And don't think I don't appreciate it, Weber, old man,
• 15:08
  Speaker 6: but let's get one thing straight.
• 15:10
  Speaker 2: I live my life and you live yours. Got that?
• 15:12
  Speaker 5: Who pays the rent?
• 15:13
  Speaker 2: You do. For a while, anyway. I haven't decided whether
• 15:16
  Speaker 2: or not I want to stay in the law business.
• 15:18
  Speaker 5: The law business?
• 15:19
  Speaker 6: It'd be a shame to waste all that good training, though.
• 15:23
  Speaker 6: We went to Harvard, didn't we? On the other hand,
• 15:25
  Speaker 6: I want to spread out a little. Tina's the kind
• 15:28
  Speaker 6: of girl to whom money.
• 15:29
  Speaker 2: Is very important.
• 15:30
  Speaker 5: Tina?
• 15:31
  Speaker 2: What'd you expect? We're not quite the same, you and I.
• 15:35
  Speaker 2: I've got zipped.
• 15:36
  Speaker 5: Don't use that word.
• 15:37
  Speaker 2: Sorry. Now, how about some dinner? I'm starving.
• 15:39
  Speaker 5: We'll have to go out.
• 15:40
  Speaker 2: I'll need some clothes.
• 15:41
  Speaker 5: Sorry, I only have this one suit.
• 15:44
  Speaker 2: Fine, you can lend it to me.
• 15:45
  Speaker 5: But what about me?
• 15:46
  Speaker 2: I'll bring you a sandwich after I come back from Sagali's.
• 15:49
  Speaker 5: Sagali's?
• 15:50
  Speaker 2: You haven't forgotten, have you, Weber?
• 15:52
  Speaker 6: We're invited to the celebration, Tina and Lou White. Only,
• 15:55
  Speaker 6: it wouldn't look quite right if we both showed up. So,
• 15:59
  Speaker 6: I'll tell you all about it. Now, come on, off
• 16:02
  Speaker 6: with the suit. And no nonsense.
• 16:04
  Speaker 7: The End.
• 16:15
  Speaker 3: Yes, sir, that's living it up, folks. Yahoo! Hey, have
• 16:19
  Speaker 3: another drink, Mr. O. Jack, come on.
• 16:20
  Speaker 2: Thank you, Lou.
• 16:21
  Speaker 8: Ha, ha.
• 16:22
  Speaker 3: Is everybody happy? Ha, ha, ha. Oh, Tina, honey, you
• 16:26
  Speaker 3: having yourself a little old time?
• 16:28
  Speaker 2: Well, well, well, well. The happy couple.
• 16:31
  Speaker 1: Say.
• 16:31
  Speaker 2: Good evening, cats. Everybody's lit up like a Christmas tree, huh?
• 16:34
  Speaker 4: Well, I'll be.
• 16:36
  Speaker 3: Sam, are you in the bag?
• 16:37
  Speaker 2: Never touch the stuff, Lou, my boy. Never touch it.
• 16:39
  Speaker 3: Say, what's gotten into you, Weber? You seem different somehow.
• 16:42
  Speaker 6: Well, I'll tell you. Ever since I had that talk
• 16:44
  Speaker 6: with Mr. Ojak about myself... Oh, you remember, don't you, Mr.
• 16:47
  Speaker 2: Ojak? Why, yes. You made me realize, Mr.
• 16:50
  Speaker 6: Ojak, that I had a whole reservoir of untapped zip.
• 16:54
  Speaker 6: And that's all it took, just like that. I'm a
• 16:57
  Speaker 6: changed man.
• 16:59
  Speaker 3: I don't believe it.
• 17:00
  Speaker 2: It's an act.
• 17:00
  Speaker 10: Why, you're nothing but a cream puff and you always
• 17:03
  Speaker 10: will be. Mr.
• 17:04
  Speaker 2: Ojak... I think he owes me an apology for that.
• 17:07
  Speaker 2: I should think so. All right, all-American boy, make with
• 17:10
  Speaker 2: the apologies.
• 17:12
  Speaker 9: Apologize?
• 17:12
  Speaker 3: Why, for two cents, I.
• 17:14
  Speaker 2: Folks, folks, would you excuse Mr. White and myself for
• 17:17
  Speaker 2: a few minutes? Coming, Mr.
• 17:19
  Speaker 13: White.
• 17:20
  Speaker 3: I'll be right back, honey.
• 17:21
  Speaker 7: Oh, no!
• 17:32
  Speaker 2: Okay, big boy, you've taken enough punishment.
• 17:35
  Speaker 8: Sam!
• 17:36
  Speaker 7: Lou!
• 17:38
  Speaker 8: Lou, don't kill him.
• 17:40
  Speaker 2: He didn't... Oh.
• 17:43
  Speaker 5: Oh, dear.
• 17:44
  Speaker 2: He'll be all right in a little while, baby.
• 17:46
  Speaker 5: Did you?
• 17:47
  Speaker 9: I mean.
• 17:50
  Speaker 9: Oh, Sam.
• 17:52
  Speaker 5: Tina. We really shouldn't be.
• 17:55
  Speaker 9: I mean, kissing like this?
• 17:59
  Speaker 2: Well, it's... what you've always wanted, isn't it?
• 18:04
  Speaker 5: Well.
• 18:06
  Speaker 2: Isn't it?
• 18:08
  Speaker 12: Oh, Sam.
• 18:25
  Speaker 5: By this time, he's probably kissing her. And there's nothing
• 18:29
  Speaker 5: you can do about it, Weber, old man. Nothing. Hey,
• 18:35
  Speaker 5: wait a minute. Where's that book of instructions? To disassemble
• 18:42
  Speaker 5: a Build-A-Man model, merely focus the ray of the disassemblator
• 18:47
  Speaker 5: device and press lever X. So you're finally home. I'm starved.
• 18:56
  Speaker 6: My boy, you are looking at a man who in
• 18:58
  Speaker 6: one fell swoop has got himself a raise, a promotion,
• 19:01
  Speaker 6: and a wife.
• 19:02
  Speaker 2: At least she'll be my wife tomorrow.
• 19:04
  Speaker 12: Who?
• 19:04
  Speaker 5: Tina, of course.
• 19:06
  Speaker 2: Who have we wanted so desperately all these years?
• 19:10
  Speaker 5: I don't believe it.
• 19:11
  Speaker 2: It's true. I had to put on quite a show,
• 19:13
  Speaker 2: but all around it was a real success.
• 19:15
  Speaker 8: Mr.
• 19:16
  Speaker 6: Ojak was so impressed, he called me aside and said
• 19:18
  Speaker 6: he was going to give me a crack at some
• 19:19
  Speaker 6: Criminal cases, and if I made the grade, who knows,
• 19:23
  Speaker 6: I may even accept a partnership.
• 19:25
  Speaker 5: And what happens to me? I suppose I sit in
• 19:27
  Speaker 5: this room with no clothes for the rest of my life.
• 19:30
  Speaker 2: Oh, you'll be well taken care of, Weber.
• 19:32
  Speaker 5: You've got it all figured out, haven't you?
• 19:34
  Speaker 2: That's about it.
• 19:35
  Speaker 5: Only you neglected to consider one thing.
• 19:37
  Speaker 2: Oh, what's that?
• 19:38
  Speaker 5: This.
• 19:39
  Speaker 3: Oh, come on, put that down.
• 19:42
  Speaker 5: I'm going to melt you down like a Welsh rabbit.
• 19:45
  Speaker 2: Weber, you can't do that. It's murder. It's like killing
• 19:49
  Speaker 2: your own... son.
• 19:50
  Speaker 5: Take off my suit, you phony. You won't be needing
• 19:53
  Speaker 5: it again.
• 19:53
  Speaker 2: You're going through with it, huh?
• 19:55
  Speaker 5: I am.
• 19:55
  Speaker 8: All right.
• 19:57
  Speaker 2: Here's your jacket.
• 19:58
  Speaker 11: Oh, my arm.
• 20:00
  Speaker 2: Now, you give me that thing.
• 20:02
  Speaker 3: Give it to me.
• 20:03
  Speaker 12: All right.
• 20:05
  Speaker 2: That's better.
• 20:07
  Speaker 6: Now we'll fix this little item so it can't do
• 20:10
  Speaker 6: any damage. You see, Weber, you don't have the guts
• 20:15
  Speaker 6: to stand up against the man you might have been.
• 20:17
  Speaker 5: What's that sound?
• 20:21
  Speaker 2: Somebody's coming up the stairs. Listen. Take a peek through
• 20:29
  Speaker 2: the keyhole, Weber.
• 20:30
  Speaker 5: Holy jump. It's him.
• 20:33
  Speaker 12: Whom?
• 20:37
  Speaker 5: He's burning it. He's burning a hole right through the door.
• 20:44
  Speaker 13: Good evening, gentlemen.
• 20:45
  Speaker 5: Who are you?
• 20:46
  Speaker 13: I'm the census keeper for the 24th oblong. You see,
• 20:49
  Speaker 13: your Build-A-Man set was intended for one of the Weber
• 20:52
  Speaker 13: children who's on a field trip in this oblong 200.
• 20:54
  Speaker 5: Years from now.
• 20:56
  Speaker 13: Because of an unfortunate time warp, the set was delivered
• 20:58
  Speaker 13: here accidentally.
• 21:00
  Speaker 6: You mean this set came here from 200 years from now?
• 21:04
  Speaker 5: Precisely.
• 21:04
  Speaker 13: Time, as with all things, is relative. We shall have
• 21:07
  Speaker 13: to recover the set, of course, and adjust any discrepancies
• 21:09
  Speaker 13: it has caused. Meanwhile, the problem is, which of you
• 21:13
  Speaker 13: gentlemen is the original Sam Webber?
• 21:15
  Speaker 12: I am.
• 21:16
  Speaker 5: Listen.
• 21:16
  Speaker 2: Liar.
• 21:17
  Speaker 5: Difficulties, difficulties.
• 21:19
  Speaker 13: Why can't I ever have a simple case like the
• 21:21
  Speaker 13: doublet con duplication?
• 21:22
  Speaker 2: Now look here, Mr. Census Keeper. The duplicate will obviously be.
• 21:26
  Speaker 5: Less stable and more emotionally unbalanced. Certainly a man of
• 21:30
  Speaker 5: your qualifications can decide which of us... is the more
• 21:34
  Speaker 5: valid member of society, which of us will conform more
• 21:37
  Speaker 5: readily to the standards... Naturally. I observed that one of
• 21:40
  Speaker 5: you was naked. That, of course... Wait a minute.
• 21:43
  Speaker 13: And you seem to be trembling, whereas this gentleman seems
• 21:46
  Speaker 13: quite calm.
• 21:47
  Speaker 5: Hold it. You're making a mistake. I hardly think so.
• 21:49
  Speaker 5: Stay away from me. Do not struggle. Help, please, please. Mr.
• 21:53
  Speaker 13: Webber.
• 21:55
  Speaker 8: Yes?
• 21:55
  Speaker 5: It would be better if you didn't watch.
• 21:58
  Speaker 2: Of course.
• 21:59
  Speaker 13: You understand it's not the gift of the Build-A-Man set
• 22:01
  Speaker 13: we were afraid of letting you have. It's the principal involved.
• 22:05
  Speaker 13: You people just aren't ready to play God.
• 22:08
  Speaker 5: You understand, of course.
• 22:13
  Speaker 2: Perfectly.
• 22:13
  Speaker 8: Well, that's my story.
• 22:28
  Speaker 6: Within ten seconds, the old Sam Webber had been completely
• 22:31
  Speaker 6: dismantled and packed into the box. Tina and I were married,
• 22:35
  Speaker 6: as you know, and I went on to become a
• 22:38
  Speaker 6: full partner in the firm of Ojack, Somerset, and Webber. Oh,
• 22:43
  Speaker 6: and by the way, Tina and I have been doing
• 22:45
  Speaker 6: quite successfully what the old Sam Webber and his Build-A-Man
• 22:48
  Speaker 6: set made such a mess of. We have one, two,
• 22:54
  Speaker 6: three little carnuclications.
• 22:57
  Speaker 2: Sam Jr., age four. Sametta, age three. And Samina, age
• 23:03
  Speaker 2: two months. Good night.
• 23:09
  Speaker 14: You have just heard X-1, presented by the National Broadcasting
• 23:13
  Speaker 14: Company in cooperation with Street and Smith, publishers of astounding
• 23:18
  Speaker 14: science fiction. Tonight, by transcription, X-1 has brought you Child's
• 23:23
  Speaker 14: Play by William Tenn, adapted for radio by George Lefferts.
• 23:27
  Speaker 14: Featured in the cast were Bill Zuckert as the truck driver,
• 23:29
  Speaker 14: John Gibson as Sam, Grant Richards as his alter ego,
• 23:33
  Speaker 14: Peggy Lobbin was Tina, Ted Osborne played Mr. Ojack, Bob
• 23:37
  Speaker 14: Hastings played Lou, and Guy Repp was the man from
• 23:40
  Speaker 14: the Census Bureau.
• 23:42
  Speaker 3: Your announcer, Fred Collins.
• 23:43
  Speaker 4: X-1 was an NBC Radio Network production.
• 24:00
  Speaker 1: That was X-1, Episode 21, Child's Play.
• 24:03
  Speaker 2: This is Victor Sterling. Until next time, good night.
• 24:06
  Speaker 1: Follow X-1 for more classic broadcasts.