Latest / Voddie Baucham Sermons / Voddie Baucham - Question and Answer - Part 2 (W Paul Washer) Gen 6:22

Transcript

Voddie Baucham - Question and Answer - Part 2 (W Paul Washer) Gen 6:22 · Voddie Baucham Sermons

• 0:01
  Speaker 1: You know, when I speak on university campuses, a lot
• 0:05
  Speaker 1: of times it's with campus outreach. And I'm not saying
• 0:08
  Speaker 1: I don't flatter. But there have been several times talking
• 0:14
  Speaker 1: to different campus outreach guys, you know, young guys that
• 0:18
  Speaker 1: were there and stuff, and most of them have told me, man,
• 0:21
  Speaker 1: I thought I was a Christian. But then some of
• 0:24
  Speaker 1: these guys, you know, just started kind of befriending me
• 0:26
  Speaker 1: and doing stuff with me. And then I kind of
• 0:28
  Speaker 1: got into a Bible study. And no one really had
• 0:31
  Speaker 1: to attack them, but they just started seeing the difference.
• 0:35
  Speaker 1: You see, if you're living for Christ, you have no
• 0:39
  Speaker 1: idea how radical that is to a person who really
• 0:41
  Speaker 1: doesn't know him.
• 0:43
  Speaker 2: And there's one thing I'll tell you a funny story.
• 0:46
  Speaker 1: This was years ago when I was working the jungle
• 0:48
  Speaker 1: and I was sent out into the Amazon and I
• 0:51
  Speaker 1: was there and supposed to meet up with some missionaries.
• 0:53
  Speaker 1: They never showed up. And so I was stranded there
• 0:55
  Speaker 1: for about five days. And I was sleeping outside and
• 0:58
  Speaker 1: drinking rainwater and eating raw fish.
• 1:00
  Speaker 2: It was just a wonderful time.
• 1:03
  Speaker 1: And it was like Man Against Wild or whatever that
• 1:08
  Speaker 1: program is, you know.
• 1:09
  Speaker 2: I've been there, done that. Got the t-shirt. Well, I
• 1:11
  Speaker 2: finally made it back.
• 1:13
  Speaker 1: I finally made it back to the headwater city called Iquitos.
• 1:17
  Speaker 1: And I was filthy. I had rot in my feet.
• 1:20
  Speaker 1: Just was really feeling bad. It's this little thing that
• 1:23
  Speaker 1: crawls inside your skin all over your body and So
• 1:27
  Speaker 1: I'm walking up and I'm walking to the plaza thinking
• 1:30
  Speaker 1: I'm going to get a hotel room. And all of
• 1:32
  Speaker 1: a sudden, here come all these Jehovah's Witnesses. And I'm
• 1:35
  Speaker 1: just like, Lord, do you hate me? You know, and so,
• 1:43
  Speaker 1: you know, they came up to me and I'm thinking, Lord,
• 1:45
  Speaker 1: I'm not going to stand here and argue for four
• 1:47
  Speaker 1: hours over the Trinity.
• 1:49
  Speaker 2: And all of a sudden, I just thought of something
• 1:50
  Speaker 2: I'd never thought of before. And I went to them.
• 1:52
  Speaker 2: They started talking to me. And I said, you know,
• 1:55
  Speaker 2: I love to meet people who love to talk about God.
• 1:58
  Speaker 2: I really do. And it's a great privilege to be
• 2:00
  Speaker 2: here with you. I said, tell me something. I said,
• 2:04
  Speaker 2: you know, those times when you're in.
• 2:06
  Speaker 1: Prayer and your heart's about to explode and it's like
• 2:10
  Speaker 1: the Holy Spirit has just filled the whole room with
• 2:12
  Speaker 1: joy and you just almost can't contain yourself and Christ
• 2:15
  Speaker 1: is so precious and you almost have to ask God
• 2:18
  Speaker 1: to stand back or you feel like your heart's going
• 2:21
  Speaker 1: to explode.
• 2:22
  Speaker 2: You know, those times.
• 2:23
  Speaker 1: I would like for you guys to share with me
• 2:25
  Speaker 1: some of those times that you've had with the Lord.
• 2:28
  Speaker 2: And they all looked at me kind of like Lassie
• 2:30
  Speaker 2: used to look at Timmy, you know, when Timmy would
• 2:31
  Speaker 2: talk to her. And I just looked at him and
• 2:34
  Speaker 2: I said, you don't have a clue, do you?
• 2:36
  Speaker 1: I said, that's the difference between Christianity and what you have.
• 2:40
  Speaker 2: And just walked away. And that's one of the things.
• 2:44
  Speaker 1: When you start talking much of Christ and living much
• 2:47
  Speaker 1: of Christ, people will know. Never forget, Noah built an
• 2:51
  Speaker 1: ark and condemned the world. Now think about that. Noah
• 2:56
  Speaker 1: just starts obeying God and everyone else is convicted about it.
• 3:00
  Speaker 2: It's like the factory worker.
• 3:01
  Speaker 1: Some of you men in here probably have been in
• 3:03
  Speaker 1: this situation. You go to lunchtime. You don't make anybody
• 3:07
  Speaker 1: pray with you. You're not even sitting at the table
• 3:09
  Speaker 1: with people. You open up your lunchbox and you start
• 3:11
  Speaker 1: praying and other men get mad at you. You just
• 3:14
  Speaker 1: live for Christ and allow those people to come into
• 3:18
  Speaker 1: your circle and they will come to.
• 3:20
  Speaker 2: See that they're not saved. If God's truly working in
• 3:23
  Speaker 2: their life. I got you up here.
• 3:30
  Speaker 3: I'm coming.
• 3:39
  Speaker 4: How do you honor your parents when they don't agree
• 3:42
  Speaker 4: that you're living your life for Christ?
• 3:47
  Speaker 1: Well.
• 3:49
  Speaker 4: They don't agree with you like. I'm living my life
• 3:53
  Speaker 4: for Christ and my parents do everything. Like they discourage
• 3:57
  Speaker 4: me and they try to keep me from going places
• 3:59
  Speaker 4: that will help me in my walk. They like, how
• 4:03
  Speaker 4: are you supposed to honor your parents?
• 4:05
  Speaker 5: Well, again, without getting too personal or, or, or whatever,
• 4:11
  Speaker 5: the highest law of course is, is to obey God.
• 4:15
  Speaker 5: And so if we're talking about people who are asking
• 4:18
  Speaker 5: you not to obey the law of God, um, then
• 4:22
  Speaker 5: of course.
• 4:25
  Speaker 6: You can't do that.
• 4:26
  Speaker 5: But even in that instance, for example, when Peter and
• 4:29
  Speaker 5: John are before the Sanhedrin, you know, whether it is
• 4:33
  Speaker 5: right for us to obey God rather than men, you know,
• 4:36
  Speaker 5: men rather than God, you be the judge. But we
• 4:38
  Speaker 5: cannot but speak of what we've seen and what we've heard.
• 4:41
  Speaker 5: In that, they respected the authority and said, hey, we
• 4:45
  Speaker 5: respect your authority and your ability to do to us
• 4:50
  Speaker 5: whatever is necessary. But ultimately, we have to obey the
• 4:53
  Speaker 5: law of God. So if you're talking about that and
• 4:56
  Speaker 5: obeying the law of God, that's one thing. If you're
• 4:58
  Speaker 5: talking about your opinion of what you're supposed to do
• 5:01
  Speaker 5: versus your parents opinion of what you're supposed to do.
• 5:04
  Speaker 6: That's different.
• 5:06
  Speaker 5: And what I find is that a lot of times
• 5:08
  Speaker 5: what happens is, you know, a young person will have
• 5:11
  Speaker 5: a strong opinion about what it is that they're supposed
• 5:14
  Speaker 5: to do. Maybe even a strong urging about what it
• 5:18
  Speaker 5: is that they're supposed to do. But we're not talking
• 5:19
  Speaker 5: about book, chapter and verse. We're talking about an.
• 5:21
  Speaker 6: Opinion or an urging.
• 5:23
  Speaker 5: Well, you want to go on a trip to wherever
• 5:27
  Speaker 5: that's your opinion and that's your urging. But your parents
• 5:30
  Speaker 5: say we would prefer you to do this. Now, honor
• 5:34
  Speaker 5: your mother and your father. That's not an opinion or
• 5:36
  Speaker 5: an urging. That's black and white scripture. So you always
• 5:40
  Speaker 5: go with black and white scripture over opinion and urging.
• 5:47
  Speaker 2: One of the things that I would that I've told.
• 5:50
  Speaker 2: students to do. First of all, try to understand some things.
• 5:55
  Speaker 1: Sometimes when young people go to college and they get
• 5:58
  Speaker 1: involved in some radical group, even when it's a really right,
• 6:02
  Speaker 1: radical Christian group, the parents get scared. So one of
• 6:06
  Speaker 1: the things that you really want to show them is
• 6:10
  Speaker 1: that what you're learning. About God and what you're learning
• 6:15
  Speaker 1: about your role as a child of God. that you're
• 6:18
  Speaker 1: to honor your parents, that you're to study as hard
• 6:20
  Speaker 1: as you can, so they don't think that you're going
• 6:22
  Speaker 1: to go live on a mountain somewhere and drink Kool-Aid
• 6:24
  Speaker 1: and go catch a trip.
• 6:26
  Speaker 2: With a rocket ship or something.
• 6:28
  Speaker 1: Make sure that they know that this is making you.
• 6:33
  Speaker 2: Into this person of excellence.
• 6:35
  Speaker 1: The next thing I would do is sit down and say,
• 6:37
  Speaker 1: Mother and Father, I want to honor you in absolutely
• 6:42
  Speaker 1: everything I can.
• 6:43
  Speaker 2: Now, I desire... to go to church.
• 6:49
  Speaker 1: I desire to do this and this and this, tell
• 6:52
  Speaker 1: me what you will allow me to do and give
• 6:56
  Speaker 1: me your blessing, even though it wouldn't be the choice
• 6:58
  Speaker 1: you would make for yourself, but you would allow me
• 7:00
  Speaker 1: to do it and then tell me in the things
• 7:03
  Speaker 1: you want me.
• 7:04
  Speaker 2: To honor you.
• 7:05
  Speaker 1: And a lot of times there's really not that much
• 7:07
  Speaker 1: of a conflict and.
• 7:09
  Speaker 2: They will they will really respect that many times, you know,
• 7:12
  Speaker 2: and then Honor them on everything.
• 7:14
  Speaker 1: Like when I talk about submitting to parents, the first
• 7:16
  Speaker 1: thing kids always come up with is, what if my
• 7:18
  Speaker 1: parents want me to make a nuclear bomb and blow up,
• 7:21
  Speaker 1: you know, the White House? And I always say, well,
• 7:23
  Speaker 1: when was the last time your parents asked you to
• 7:25
  Speaker 1: do that?
• 7:26
  Speaker 2: You know, it's like your.
• 7:27
  Speaker 1: Problem is with taking out the trash and picking up
• 7:29
  Speaker 1: your underwear.
• 7:30
  Speaker 2: It's not with nuclear weapons.
• 7:33
  Speaker 6: You know, I actually got one time.
• 7:34
  Speaker 5: Well, what if they just told me to stop breathing
• 7:36
  Speaker 5: and then I just died?
• 7:40
  Speaker 6: We always go to the extreme to find an excuse
• 7:42
  Speaker 6: not to submit, you know?
• 7:52
  Speaker 7: You were talking about the age when boys become men.
• 7:57
  Speaker 7: And I was just wondering if that's sort of the
• 7:58
  Speaker 7: same guideline that you use for women's role in the
• 8:02
  Speaker 7: church and when it's appropriate for women to be teaching
• 8:05
  Speaker 7: and guiding young boys and when it becomes... unbiblical and
• 8:09
  Speaker 7: them having authority over men?
• 8:11
  Speaker 8: Do you know what I mean?
• 8:17
  Speaker 6: Talking about adult.
• 8:18
  Speaker 7: Like, it's okay for women to be teaching Sunday school
• 8:21
  Speaker 7: classes and things when they're younger with boys and girls,
• 8:25
  Speaker 7: but then is that the same sort of line that.
• 8:27
  Speaker 5: Okay, a line of when, you know, boys become young
• 8:30
  Speaker 5: men and therefore it.
• 8:32
  Speaker 6: Would be inappropriate for a woman... Who could perhaps.
• 8:35
  Speaker 7: Like women shouldn't be pastors, but they could.
• 8:37
  Speaker 5: Be Sunday school teachers.
• 8:39
  Speaker 6: Okay. I see what you're saying.
• 8:41
  Speaker 7: Okay.
• 8:41
  Speaker 6: Yeah, yeah, I got you. I got you. I see
• 8:44
  Speaker 6: what you're saying. If a woman.
• 8:46
  Speaker 5: So basically the question is, if the scripture says a
• 8:48
  Speaker 5: woman shouldn't teach or exercise authority over a man, then
• 8:51
  Speaker 5: the question will be, when does.
• 8:53
  Speaker 6: A man become a man?
• 8:54
  Speaker 5: Is that what you're asking? When does a man become
• 8:57
  Speaker 5: a man so that that line is.
• 9:05
  Speaker 5: Okay, I got you. For me, it's a, it's a
• 9:08
  Speaker 5: lot easier than that. Um, for me, I mean, in
• 9:12
  Speaker 5: our church, for example, um, we don't have Sunday school. Um,
• 9:18
  Speaker 5: we haven't, we, we, we just, we haven't found that
• 9:22
  Speaker 5: in the text, you know, um, we, we, we have
• 9:26
  Speaker 5: catechism and family worship and homes and we look our
• 9:28
  Speaker 5: men in the eye and say, I double dog dare
• 9:30
  Speaker 5: you to disciple your family and we're not going to
• 9:32
  Speaker 5: do it for you. Um, And that includes their wives.
• 9:36
  Speaker 5: And so we wouldn't even put a woman in that situation.
• 9:41
  Speaker 5: Titus 2, older women teach younger women. And even that,
• 9:46
  Speaker 5: it's very specific what older women are to teach younger women.
• 9:48
  Speaker 5: And we'll talk about some of that on tomorrow. And so, again,
• 9:54
  Speaker 5: for me, I wouldn't even put it into that category
• 9:59
  Speaker 5: of you know, this kind of age, it's okay, and
• 10:02
  Speaker 5: that kind of age, it's not okay. You know, for me,
• 10:06
  Speaker 5: that's an entirely different question in our context.
• 10:18
  Speaker 9: In talking about all this tonight and becoming a biblical
• 10:21
  Speaker 9: man and a biblical woman and courtship and all this stuff,
• 10:25
  Speaker 9: what role does the local church play into it? And
• 10:28
  Speaker 9: is it even possible to do this without a local church?
• 10:32
  Speaker 6: Wow.
• 10:33
  Speaker 2: Here's the problem.
• 10:38
  Speaker 1: In order to say something is a church today, we
• 10:40
  Speaker 1: really have to lower the bar on the definition. Church
• 10:44
  Speaker 1: has turned into a six flags over Jesus. It's not
• 10:47
  Speaker 1: acting like a church. The church is very, very, very important.
• 10:52
  Speaker 1: But church and family, I think there are very important
• 10:56
  Speaker 1: lines and they get mixed really bad. For example, Sunday
• 11:01
  Speaker 1: school was started in order to reach children in the
• 11:07
  Speaker 1: streets who would never go to church of unchurched parents,
• 11:11
  Speaker 1: you know, just kids work, beggars and stuff in Chicago
• 11:15
  Speaker 1: and other places. Now, Sunday school has taken the responsibility
• 11:21
  Speaker 1: away from the father and the.
• 11:23
  Speaker 2: Father loves it.
• 11:25
  Speaker 1: You see, one of the reasons why God isn't blessing
• 11:28
  Speaker 1: our churches, I feel like is because we're in the
• 11:30
  Speaker 1: continuous process of doing plan B.
• 11:33
  Speaker 2: For example, a Southern Baptist.
• 11:36
  Speaker 1: How much money do you think was spent last year
• 11:40
  Speaker 1: on Sunday school literature? How much how many conferences were there?
• 11:45
  Speaker 1: We're talking millions and multimillions of dollars. All that money
• 11:49
  Speaker 1: was spent and all that effort to carry out a
• 11:52
  Speaker 1: plan that God never ordained. How much money was spent
• 11:56
  Speaker 1: last year teaching fathers to disciple their own children?
• 12:01
  Speaker 2: Probably zero.
• 12:02
  Speaker 1: And so a lot of this what you're seeing everywhere
• 12:06
  Speaker 1: I travel around the country, people are coming up to
• 12:08
  Speaker 1: me and goes, but I.
• 12:08
  Speaker 2: Don't have a church. I don't have a place I
• 12:11
  Speaker 2: can go.
• 12:12
  Speaker 1: What you got to realize is this, especially you young men,
• 12:15
  Speaker 1: the church isn't going to be involved in much of this,
• 12:17
  Speaker 1: nor promoted at.
• 12:18
  Speaker 2: First, at least a lot of churches. But don't you
• 12:21
  Speaker 2: see what's going on?
• 12:23
  Speaker 1: You're living in a time that prophets and scribes long
• 12:27
  Speaker 1: to see and did not see. There's a genuine reformation
• 12:30
  Speaker 1: going on. There's a reformation going on theologically in this country. Now,
• 12:35
  Speaker 1: it's grassroots, popular media who listen to Joel's self-esteem.
• 12:41
  Speaker 2: They know nothing about all this stuff.
• 12:43
  Speaker 1: But there is a real thing going on in which
• 12:47
  Speaker 1: the truths of God are coming back in place. The
• 12:50
  Speaker 1: ideas of family are coming back in place.
• 12:53
  Speaker 2: All of it is.
• 12:54
  Speaker 1: But here's what you men need to do. You need
• 12:57
  Speaker 1: to start preparing. You women need to say, OK, I'm wrong.
• 13:00
  Speaker 1: I'm going to start all over. And even if I
• 13:02
  Speaker 1: have to do it by myself, But the next generation
• 13:05
  Speaker 1: that comes up is going to be something. Is going
• 13:09
  Speaker 1: to be something. And I can tell you this also.
• 13:12
  Speaker 1: You need to keep this in mind. Never in history
• 13:15
  Speaker 1: is there a reformation and revival of this magnitude unless
• 13:20
  Speaker 1: it preceded national catastrophe or the persecution of the church.
• 13:24
  Speaker 1: I think that God is getting a people ready for
• 13:27
  Speaker 1: the next several generations to go through some stuff, but
• 13:31
  Speaker 1: also to triumph.
• 13:33
  Speaker 2: To triumph.
• 13:34
  Speaker 1: You young men sitting here right now and young women
• 13:37
  Speaker 1: have a greater possibility now than ever in the history
• 13:40
  Speaker 1: of the world. But you need to realize that you're
• 13:43
  Speaker 1: wrong in almost everything you're thinking and start all over again.
• 13:49
  Speaker 1: And you need to submit to church and submit to leaders.
• 13:52
  Speaker 1: But you're going to have to realize you're going to
• 13:53
  Speaker 1: walk in and tell some of this stuff to pastors.
• 13:56
  Speaker 2: And they're not even going to understand. Not only are
• 13:58
  Speaker 2: they not going to have the answer, they don't even
• 14:00
  Speaker 2: know what the question is. So just keep going. Be respectful,
• 14:04
  Speaker 2: but keep going.
• 14:12
  Speaker 10: I wonder if I might ask a real, I guess
• 14:14
  Speaker 10: maybe a simple practical question.
• 14:16
  Speaker 11: This is something my wife and I talk about a lot.
• 14:18
  Speaker 11: What do you guys do when you get home from work, 3, 4,
• 14:21
  Speaker 11: 5 o'clock, whatever?
• 14:23
  Speaker 2: What does your normal night look like with your family?
• 14:28
  Speaker 2: I love that question. Here's my rule in my home.
• 14:36
  Speaker 1: My wife, we don't make a lot of money. My
• 14:42
  Speaker 1: wife is not going to work. There are greater things
• 14:47
  Speaker 1: than money. We lived in Peru on cement floors and
• 14:49
  Speaker 1: we're as happy as we are now on a carpet.
• 14:52
  Speaker 1: So my wife, early in the morning, five or whatever,
• 14:57
  Speaker 1: I'm leaving for work.
• 14:59
  Speaker 2: For the office, to write, to preach, whatever. So I
• 15:02
  Speaker 2: can make it home around 4.30am.
• 15:05
  Speaker 1: Now, when I make it home at 430, the rule
• 15:08
  Speaker 1: is the kids are mine.
• 15:11
  Speaker 2: They're mine until they go to bed. And on Saturdays,
• 15:16
  Speaker 2: they're mine.
• 15:18
  Speaker 1: And that means my wife can go about reading scripture,
• 15:23
  Speaker 1: she can do some housecleaning, she can do whatever she wants,
• 15:25
  Speaker 1: but those children are mine. And I spend the time
• 15:30
  Speaker 1: playing with the boys. Working with the boys, studying with
• 15:33
  Speaker 1: the boys. My little girl is only four months old.
• 15:35
  Speaker 1: She can already read most of the dictionary, but still
• 15:37
  Speaker 1: I'm not working with her yet.
• 15:39
  Speaker 2: I'm just kidding.
• 15:42
  Speaker 1: But it's all them. And here's what you've got to realize, guys.
• 15:46
  Speaker 1: Get this into your head. If you're men, your life
• 15:50
  Speaker 1: is work. You're supposed to be tired. It's supposed to
• 15:55
  Speaker 1: be tough. All this other stuff doesn't. It's not what
• 15:59
  Speaker 1: you're supposed to be doing. I'm supposed to go to bed.
• 16:02
  Speaker 2: Tired and satisfied in the labor.
• 16:05
  Speaker 1: I'm supposed to invest my life in the next generation.
• 16:09
  Speaker 1: I'm supposed to die to self unless a grain of
• 16:11
  Speaker 1: wheat falls to the ground and die to Bideth alone.
• 16:15
  Speaker 2: So my children are mine until around nine o'clock. I
• 16:18
  Speaker 2: get them in bed. They're all tucked in our Bible stories.
• 16:21
  Speaker 2: We've read books. We've done things. We're working on Chronicles
• 16:24
  Speaker 2: of Narnia right now.
• 16:28
  Speaker 1: Then it's my wife. And then after my wife, go
• 16:33
  Speaker 1: to bed because you got to get up really early
• 16:35
  Speaker 1: in the morning.
• 16:36
  Speaker 2: You don't go hunting. You don't go fishing. You don't
• 16:38
  Speaker 2: play with all your other friends. You just go to bed.
• 16:44
  Speaker 2: That's my day.
• 16:50
  Speaker 5: For me, it's a little different. I office at home
• 16:54
  Speaker 5: and have for quite a while. So it functions a
• 17:00
  Speaker 5: little differently. And most of our time is time in
• 17:02
  Speaker 5: the morning. So in the morning there's breakfast time and
• 17:05
  Speaker 5: there's family worship every day where we're in the scriptures together.
• 17:09
  Speaker 5: We're singing songs together. We're doing catechism together in the morning.
• 17:15
  Speaker 5: And then everybody kind of starts off on their day
• 17:17
  Speaker 5: and does their thing. And then we usually come together
• 17:22
  Speaker 5: again in the evening. We have our evening meal.
• 17:25
  Speaker 6: And fellowship time.
• 17:27
  Speaker 5: And in the evening times there's usually things that we're
• 17:30
  Speaker 5: kind of reading through or working through together as a family.
• 17:33
  Speaker 5: And a lot of times in the evening, it's more
• 17:37
  Speaker 5: like a biography or it's Valley of Vision, which is
• 17:43
  Speaker 5: this unbelievable book of Puritan prayers. Things like that that
• 17:47
  Speaker 5: we work through together in the evenings that are kind
• 17:49
  Speaker 5: of more devotional type things. And we hang out, play games,
• 17:57
  Speaker 5: do whatever. And then again, they go And it's mommy
• 18:01
  Speaker 5: and daddy time. And that, which again, is incredibly important
• 18:05
  Speaker 5: for them to know that there's mommy and daddy time
• 18:09
  Speaker 5: and they are not allowed to interfere with mommy and
• 18:13
  Speaker 5: daddy time.
• 18:13
  Speaker 6: They're just not. They're just not, you know.
• 18:17
  Speaker 5: Don't, unless somebody's bleeding or, you know, they just don't.
• 18:24
  Speaker 2: Guys, let me say this.
• 18:26
  Speaker 1: You know, every hero in media... in television and movies.
• 18:32
  Speaker 1: He never goes home to a wife and children. He's
• 18:34
  Speaker 1: either divorced or a renegade or this or that.
• 18:39
  Speaker 2: Can't you see?
• 18:40
  Speaker 1: Since that's always a pattern, it's just the prince of
• 18:44
  Speaker 1: the air just trying to force down your throat a lie.
• 18:49
  Speaker 2: I've lived through a war.
• 18:51
  Speaker 1: I've traveled all over. I've climbed the Andes. I've been
• 18:54
  Speaker 1: down the Amazon.
• 18:57
  Speaker 2: Asia, Africa, all over. I can tell you this from experience.
• 19:02
  Speaker 1: There is nothing more glorious than my wife and my
• 19:08
  Speaker 1: three little babies and being at home. I'm supposed to
• 19:14
  Speaker 1: go to Israel in a couple weeks.
• 19:16
  Speaker 2: I canceled. I'm sending someone else in my place. It's
• 19:20
  Speaker 2: a great opportunity. But some things have come up and
• 19:24
  Speaker 2: I just need to be with my family more. It
• 19:26
  Speaker 2: is a burden.
• 19:27
  Speaker 1: It would be a burden for me to go into
• 19:29
  Speaker 1: the wilds of Africa right now because I'd have to
• 19:32
  Speaker 1: leave my wife and my children. It's greater than anything
• 19:36
  Speaker 1: I'm going to find in one of the countries I
• 19:38
  Speaker 1: love more than anything, which is Africa. So don't believe
• 19:43
  Speaker 1: these lies. Believe God. You renew your mind. Wife and children.
• 19:52
  Speaker 1: Devoting yourself to that. You know, I made a decision
• 19:57
  Speaker 1: a while back, you know.
• 20:00
  Speaker 2: If I could.
• 20:03
  Speaker 3: Grow.
• 20:04
  Speaker 1: In my Christ likeness towards my wife. Everything else would
• 20:08
  Speaker 1: fall in place. I really wouldn't have to worry much.
• 20:12
  Speaker 1: I was preaching in Austin years ago, and after my
• 20:15
  Speaker 1: first sermon, the pulpit committee came up to me and
• 20:17
  Speaker 1: they go, you need to be our pastor. And I
• 20:20
  Speaker 1: looked at him and I said, are you out of
• 20:21
  Speaker 1: your mind? And they said, what do you mean? You
• 20:24
  Speaker 1: don't know if I love my wife or not. That's
• 20:29
  Speaker 1: the most important thing, and it's the most wonderful thing.
• 20:33
  Speaker 1: It is, there's nothing better. Would Christ choose something for
• 20:37
  Speaker 1: himself that wasn't the greatest? He has chosen a bride.
• 20:44
  Speaker 1: That's what he longs for. That's what he died for.
• 20:46
  Speaker 1: You know, I'm not called. I'm never told in Scripture
• 20:48
  Speaker 1: to die for the church. I'm never told to die
• 20:51
  Speaker 1: for lost people. I'm told to die for my wife.
• 20:55
  Speaker 1: I'm not even told to die for my children. The
• 21:00
  Speaker 1: most glorious thing you can be is a godly man
• 21:02
  Speaker 1: in the context of a woman and children.
• 21:08
  Speaker 6: And back to that. Picture, you know, when you said
• 21:11
  Speaker 6: that about the heroes in movies. Yeah.
• 21:14
  Speaker 5: The most popular sitcom ever about a father. Everybody loves Raymond.
• 21:23
  Speaker 5: The weakest, most aggravating, most godless man ever, ever to
• 21:32
  Speaker 5: grace a screen. His portrayal of manhood and fatherhood is
• 21:37
  Speaker 5: absolutely sickening. But nothing's ever been more popular. Nothing's ever
• 21:41
  Speaker 5: been more popular. You don't get weaker than that guy.
• 21:46
  Speaker 5: And his father is worse.
• 21:49
  Speaker 6: You know?
• 21:51
  Speaker 10: Horrible.
• 21:52
  Speaker 7: Horrible.
• 21:52
  Speaker 6: But that's the picture that's been painted for our culture.
• 21:55
  Speaker 6: You know? There are some rules in media.
• 21:57
  Speaker 5: One of the things I teach is film analysis. And
• 22:00
  Speaker 5: that's one of the things that my, especially the older kids,
• 22:03
  Speaker 5: have grown to love.
• 22:05
  Speaker 6: And we talked about this, you know, on the way
• 22:06
  Speaker 6: up here.
• 22:07
  Speaker 5: I'm watching film, something as simple as the change of
• 22:10
  Speaker 5: a camera angle. And all of this stuff communicates. Everything
• 22:13
  Speaker 5: has a purpose. But, you know, one of the things
• 22:17
  Speaker 5: that you look at there is the way we portray
• 22:20
  Speaker 5: people in film. And there's some rules, some unwritten rules
• 22:23
  Speaker 5: in film. One of the unwritten rules is that fathers
• 22:27
  Speaker 5: are idiots. That's one of the unwritten rules. Christians are hypocrites.
• 22:33
  Speaker 5: Buddhists are wise.
• 22:34
  Speaker 11: Okay?
• 22:36
  Speaker 6: Okay? These are the unwritten rules.
• 22:39
  Speaker 5: Homosexuals dress nice and are more cultured than everybody else.
• 22:45
  Speaker 5: These are the unwritten rules when it comes to film
• 22:47
  Speaker 5: and the media. You think you haven't been impacted by that?
• 22:53
  Speaker 5: You think you haven't been affected by that? Marriage is bondage.
• 22:58
  Speaker 6: These are some of the unwritten rules. You know?
• 23:04
  Speaker 5: Sex doesn't require commitment. These are some of the unwritten
• 23:08
  Speaker 5: rules that are there. And you guys, you have to
• 23:12
  Speaker 5: realize that you need to detox. Whether you know it
• 23:15
  Speaker 5: or not. Aristotle's famous question, does a fish know he's wet?
• 23:20
  Speaker 6: The answer? Not until you get him out of the water.
• 23:25
  Speaker 5: And there are a lot of you tonight, and you're
• 23:26
  Speaker 5: just now realizing and listening to this, that you're very
• 23:31
  Speaker 5: wet from a cultural perspective. Soaking, drenched in the lies
• 23:35
  Speaker 5: of the culture. And for some of you, it's extremely uncomfortable.
• 23:38
  Speaker 5: You can tell by your body language. It's just weird.
• 23:41
  Speaker 6: It's out there. It's uncomfortable. What do you mean?
• 23:45
  Speaker 5: I'm the greatest Christian I know and you're telling me
• 23:47
  Speaker 5: that my stuff is messed up? Trust me, we've been there.
• 23:53
  Speaker 5: We've been there. I'm still there most days. Neither one
• 23:56
  Speaker 5: of us.
• 23:56
  Speaker 6: Would argue that we've arrived. This is reformation in process.
• 24:01
  Speaker 1: I wept when my wife told me she was pregnant
• 24:04
  Speaker 1: and it wasn't because I was sad.
• 24:05
  Speaker 2: We'd been waiting for a child for Eight years. It's wept.
• 24:09
  Speaker 1: I remember going up into a home I lived in
• 24:12
  Speaker 1: before and I went upstairs to my office and I wept.
• 24:14
  Speaker 1: And the only thing I could think of saying, Lord,
• 24:18
  Speaker 1: when it comes to raising a family, I'm just a
• 24:20
  Speaker 1: saved pagan. I am a man of unclean lips and
• 24:24
  Speaker 1: I dwell among a people of unclean lips.
• 24:27
  Speaker 2: And I realized everything's got to change. And it's a process.
• 24:32
  Speaker 2: It's a fight. It's a battle every day. But it's
• 24:40
  Speaker 2: worth it.
• 24:43
  Speaker 5: You know one thing too that we don't talk about unfortunately.
• 24:46
  Speaker 5: Marriage is a sanctifying work. God uses marriage to chisel
• 24:54
  Speaker 5: away at us. I am a much better Christian than
• 24:57
  Speaker 5: I would be had I never gotten married. It's unbelievable
• 25:02
  Speaker 5: the way God uses that to draw us to himself.
• 25:08
  Speaker 5: And to chisel away at us. And to mature us.
• 25:10
  Speaker 5: And to show us our selfishness.
• 25:14
  Speaker 6: And you know. Oh man. It's an incredible sanctifying work.
• 25:19
  Speaker 2: Yeah I have the personal testimony.
• 25:20
  Speaker 1: I was the godliest man in the world.
• 25:22
  Speaker 2: Until I got married.
• 25:30
  Speaker 11: I have a question.
• 25:34
  Speaker 3: As elders in a church, what do you guys feel
• 25:36
  Speaker 3: like your role is to women who, in your congregation,
• 25:40
  Speaker 3: who don't have a father or they have an inactive
• 25:43
  Speaker 3: father and they don't have a husband and you're the
• 25:46
  Speaker 3: only authority.
• 25:47
  Speaker 11: In her life?
• 25:47
  Speaker 3: Specifically, like if a man wants to pursue her, like
• 25:51
  Speaker 3: what is your role in that? And also, kind of
• 25:54
  Speaker 3: a two-fold question, how proactive can a woman be in
• 25:58
  Speaker 3: pursuing a husband?
• 25:59
  Speaker 2: 357 Magnum is off limits. Do you want to answer that, brother?
• 26:09
  Speaker 6: Oh, you would drop that with an input. Okay.
• 26:18
  Speaker 5: Again, as elders in our church and our deacon ministry
• 26:25
  Speaker 5: is a part of this too, we take very seriously
• 26:28
  Speaker 5: our role to stand in the gap in the lives
• 26:32
  Speaker 5: of women who are unprotected. And we have an epidemic
• 26:36
  Speaker 5: of unprotected women in our culture. We don't force ourselves
• 26:41
  Speaker 5: into that role, but we do make it clear that
• 26:44
  Speaker 5: we are.
• 26:44
  Speaker 6: Available for that.
• 26:45
  Speaker 5: For example, a single mother is having issues with a son,
• 26:49
  Speaker 5: especially a son gets a certain age. It's our policy
• 26:55
  Speaker 5: that we make ourselves available. And if she needs to
• 26:58
  Speaker 5: bring the young man before the elders... We're not against
• 27:01
  Speaker 5: praying and laying on hands, if you know what I mean.
• 27:05
  Speaker 5: But so, you know, we will. We will do that.
• 27:08
  Speaker 5: And again, a young woman, a young single woman, we
• 27:10
  Speaker 5: would also be more than happy and would actually relish
• 27:16
  Speaker 5: the thought of standing in the gap for her and
• 27:19
  Speaker 5: helping to evaluate potential suitors. We would very much see
• 27:23
  Speaker 5: that as part of our role as the elders in
• 27:25
  Speaker 5: our church.
• 27:27
  Speaker 1: With regard to pursuing a young man, My wife has
• 27:31
  Speaker 1: a really good article called Becoming Esther. And talks about
• 27:36
  Speaker 1: the preparation that Esther went through. You're not to pursue
• 27:40
  Speaker 1: a young man. You're to pursue Christ in godliness. And
• 27:45
  Speaker 1: the training that when in the sovereignty of God he
• 27:49
  Speaker 1: brings that young man to you.
• 27:51
  Speaker 2: You will be ready to be his helpmate. But pursue Christ.
• 27:57
  Speaker 1: Pursue everything that you ought to be to fulfill the
• 28:00
  Speaker 1: obligation that will come sooner than you think. Also, you are,
• 28:07
  Speaker 1: even though you are under the headship, you will be
• 28:10
  Speaker 1: under the headship of husband. You are not just an
• 28:15
  Speaker 1: extension of him. You are an individual in your own right.
• 28:19
  Speaker 1: You are a handmaiden of the Lord. The Lord wants
• 28:23
  Speaker 1: you for himself. And you are His handmaiden. And He
• 28:27
  Speaker 1: wants to train you in that. And to be content
• 28:29
  Speaker 1: in Him.
• 28:30
  Speaker 2: And then in His providence, He may bring that person.
• 28:36
  Speaker 1: Any man whose affections are kindled towards you because you
• 28:41
  Speaker 1: are pursuing him will not be the man that you
• 28:43
  Speaker 1: will want to have.
• 28:45
  Speaker 2: He will be appalled at any pursuit.
• 28:54
  Speaker 11: Okay. Okay.
• 28:58
  Speaker 7: How do you know that God's called you to marriage
• 29:01
  Speaker 7: when it's His timing and not your own?
• 29:08
  Speaker 2: Well, I saw this vision. I don't know about everybody. No,
• 29:10
  Speaker 2: I'm just kidding.
• 29:11
  Speaker 1: All right, I came off with a joke.
• 29:15
  Speaker 10: Now you answer the question.
• 29:17
  Speaker 6: See a pattern developing here.
• 29:19
  Speaker 2: He's the straight man.
• 29:22
  Speaker 6: You know, for me, one of the.
• 29:26
  Speaker 5: One of the greatest problems that we face in the
• 29:29
  Speaker 5: modern American church is mysticism. We believe you find the
• 29:35
  Speaker 5: will of God by you know, I mean that's how
• 29:40
  Speaker 5: we believe you find the will of God. And we
• 29:41
  Speaker 5: look for, you know, mysterious signs and, you know, oh
• 29:44
  Speaker 5: my God, girl, I know what, you know, what, what,
• 29:46
  Speaker 5: what happened?
• 29:47
  Speaker 6: I know which one I'm supposed to go out with.
• 29:48
  Speaker 5: Why? I woke up this morning all by myself at 6.03.
• 29:52
  Speaker 5: No alarm clock, no nothing. And girl, Bobby is six
• 29:56
  Speaker 5: foot three. God was like, Folks, that's pagan. That is
• 30:04
  Speaker 5: absolutely pagan. That is not Christian. And so we have
• 30:08
  Speaker 5: all this God told me and God said to me
• 30:11
  Speaker 5: and God spoke to me and all this sort of stuff.
• 30:14
  Speaker 5: And we are not, when you have biblical illiteracy on
• 30:17
  Speaker 5: the one hand, and we don't know what the Lord
• 30:20
  Speaker 5: has said in his word. And on the other hand,
• 30:22
  Speaker 5: you have mysticism where we're trying to, you know, feel
• 30:26
  Speaker 5: our way through what it is that the Lord is
• 30:29
  Speaker 5: impressing upon us through these different signs and visions or whatever,
• 30:32
  Speaker 5: we get in serious trouble. So how do you know?
• 30:39
  Speaker 5: Number one, you know when you are prepared based on
• 30:41
  Speaker 5: the biblical requirements for you. Secondly, you know when you
• 30:46
  Speaker 5: understand what it is that you need according to the
• 30:50
  Speaker 5: way that God has put you together. And when those
• 30:52
  Speaker 5: who are around you in your life understand who are
• 30:54
  Speaker 5: partnering with you in that process and holding you accountable
• 30:57
  Speaker 5: and protecting you in that process, also concur. Again, you
• 31:01
  Speaker 5: have the multitude of counselors, another biblical principle. You also
• 31:05
  Speaker 5: know that you're ready, honoring your mother and father. Again,
• 31:08
  Speaker 5: so what you look for is not some outward mystical sign,
• 31:14
  Speaker 5: but what you look for is all of the things
• 31:16
  Speaker 5: that the Bible lines up for you and requires of you.
• 31:20
  Speaker 5: And when those things are there, and here's another thing,
• 31:23
  Speaker 5: Because we get all messed up about finding the one, one, one, one,
• 31:27
  Speaker 5: you know.
• 31:30
  Speaker 6: I mean, we do.
• 31:31
  Speaker 5: Here's how we act. It's kind of like the college thing.
• 31:34
  Speaker 5: You guys are already in college, so you already went
• 31:36
  Speaker 5: through this. But you see this all the time with
• 31:38
  Speaker 5: young people when they're trying to figure out where to
• 31:39
  Speaker 5: go to college. I don't want to go to college.
• 31:42
  Speaker 5: I don't want to miss God's will. You know, here's
• 31:45
  Speaker 5: the God. We act like we serve. Like God is
• 31:49
  Speaker 5: in heaven, and he wants you over here at this school.
• 31:52
  Speaker 5: But somehow he's not powerful enough to get you there.
• 31:55
  Speaker 5: So you make the wrong decision and you go over
• 31:56
  Speaker 5: there and he's going to go over here.
• 31:58
  Speaker 6: Going, where is she?
• 32:03
  Speaker 12: That's that's how we act. That's not the God we serve. OK,
• 32:08
  Speaker 12: that's not the God we serve. Don't be afraid. God
• 32:14
  Speaker 12: is sovereign. God is in control. You obey God's word.
• 32:18
  Speaker 12: You do what it is that God's called you to do.
• 32:19
  Speaker 12: You be what it is that God's called you to be.
• 32:22
  Speaker 12: You have wise counselors around you. You have the protection
• 32:24
  Speaker 12: that God has brought you around you.
• 32:26
  Speaker 6: You have this.
• 32:27
  Speaker 5: Incredible intimate relationship with the Lord that's rooted and grounded
• 32:31
  Speaker 5: in His Word.
• 32:34
  Speaker 6: You'll be okay.
• 32:37
  Speaker 1: One of the things that you really need to come
• 32:39
  Speaker 1: to realize is that, well, in my own marriage, I
• 32:45
  Speaker 1: saw my proposal In many of the same respects that
• 32:50
  Speaker 1: I saw my calling into the ministry. I. Felt impressed
• 32:56
  Speaker 1: that God had called me into the ministry. I was
• 32:59
  Speaker 1: in the word renewing my mind. I had godly counselors
• 33:03
  Speaker 1: who recognized the gifts and everything else.
• 33:07
  Speaker 2: Now, my marriage. Is founded upon, I believe, a calling.
• 33:15
  Speaker 1: You see, so many people say, well, you know, I
• 33:17
  Speaker 1: like young guys will come to me and say, you know,
• 33:19
  Speaker 1: I want to get married this girl. Why?
• 33:22
  Speaker 2: Well, I love her. OK, tell me what you mean. Well,
• 33:25
  Speaker 2: you know, when I'm with her, I.
• 33:26
  Speaker 1: Just feel so happy and and I can talk to
• 33:29
  Speaker 1: her and things are going really well and all this stuff.
• 33:31
  Speaker 2: And I says, OK, let me see if I get
• 33:33
  Speaker 2: you straight here.
• 33:34
  Speaker 1: You want to marry this girl because she meets all
• 33:36
  Speaker 1: your self-centered, selfish needs.
• 33:39
  Speaker 2: No, that's not what I mean. But that's what you said,
• 33:41
  Speaker 2: young man.
• 33:43
  Speaker 1: You see, you come to a point where you say,
• 33:45
  Speaker 1: I believe that I am called of God to lay
• 33:49
  Speaker 1: down my life for this woman.
• 33:53
  Speaker 2: For her benefit and man on the face of the
• 33:55
  Speaker 2: earth that would have submitted to me. He had no
• 33:57
  Speaker 2: reason to honor me. God will fight for you if
• 34:02
  Speaker 2: you just do the right thing. It also was the
• 34:04
  Speaker 2: perfect timing. By that delay, my wife and I both
• 34:09
  Speaker 2: grew in the Lord. So you see, trust God. He's
• 34:13
  Speaker 2: you know, he's pretty big.
• 34:20
  Speaker 10: We're going to go a little longer, so if anybody
• 34:23
  Speaker 10: needs to leave, feel free to, but we're going to
• 34:25
  Speaker 10: have a few more questions if that's okay.
• 34:27
  Speaker 11: Is that okay with you guys? You guys feeling okay?
• 34:30
  Speaker 6: Good? Okay, good.
• 34:34
  Speaker 13: I was just wondering if there were some specific books
• 34:36
  Speaker 13: or websites or teachers that really give an true biblical
• 34:43
  Speaker 13: advice on marriage and relationships and family and just something
• 34:47
  Speaker 13: that maybe y'all read that's affected.
• 34:49
  Speaker 6: You yeah there's one book it's um.
• 34:52
  Speaker 5: Okay it's unbelievable book what is it uh family driven
• 34:58
  Speaker 5: faith is that's that's uh.
• 35:02
  Speaker 2: That's is that a christian book and then oh.
• 35:07
  Speaker 5: Um, no, but in all honesty, a lot of this
• 35:09
  Speaker 5: stuff that we're talking about here tonight, um, more than
• 35:12
  Speaker 5: you think, um, is addressed actually in family driven faith,
• 35:15
  Speaker 5: but there, some of the books, um, family man, family leader.
• 35:24
  Speaker 6: Um, measure of a man, her hand in marriage, her
• 35:28
  Speaker 6: hand in marriage. Yes.
• 35:30
  Speaker 2: Future men.
• 35:31
  Speaker 6: Yeah. Future men.
• 35:33
  Speaker 1: Um, I always have to be careful giving an endorsement
• 35:37
  Speaker 1: because you look at anybody's ministry and there's going to
• 35:41
  Speaker 1: be things where you wouldn't go all the way with them.
• 35:44
  Speaker 2: But there's a lot of good stuff on Vision Forum.
• 35:49
  Speaker 5: CBMW. What's the CBMW website now? Is it cbmw.org? I
• 35:55
  Speaker 5: think it's Conference Council on Biblical Manhood and Womanhood.
• 36:00
  Speaker 6: CBMW.
• 36:01
  Speaker 5: There's some good theological stuff there. There's also a book.
• 36:05
  Speaker 5: By Andreas Kostenberger, God.
• 36:07
  Speaker 6: Marriage, and Family.
• 36:09
  Speaker 5: One of the most thorough theological treatments on marriage and family.
• 36:14
  Speaker 5: On what the Bible has to say from Genesis to
• 36:16
  Speaker 5: Revelation on marriage and family. And again, anything that broad,
• 36:19
  Speaker 5: you're always going to find some things in there. But
• 36:22
  Speaker 5: it's a wonderful, broad theological treatment that will at least
• 36:27
  Speaker 5: make you think through all of the important issues. Andreas Kostenberger.
• 36:37
  Speaker 1: A book on marriage that literally you will have to
• 36:40
  Speaker 1: read several times if you're a man and it will
• 36:42
  Speaker 1: literally beat you to death is Exemplary Husband.
• 36:47
  Speaker 2: Oh, man. I get that book. You'll hate me for it,
• 36:51
  Speaker 2: but get it. And what's so unique about it is
• 36:54
  Speaker 2: he's really.
• 36:55
  Speaker 1: His emphasis is on your whole problem is you're not
• 36:57
  Speaker 1: like Christ. And then Martha Peace, an excellent wife. Yeah,
• 37:02
  Speaker 1: I think that Martha Peace is she's.
• 37:04
  Speaker 6: A good woman and marriage to a difficult man.
• 37:08
  Speaker 2: Written by my wife.
• 37:11
  Speaker 5: It's actually by Jonathan Edwards' wife.
• 37:15
  Speaker 6: Yeah. It's amazing. He was a difficult man to live with.
• 37:21
  Speaker 11: Make an announcement as well.
• 37:22
  Speaker 10: I think there's a few of you that have host
• 37:25
  Speaker 10: families that are waiting on you, and it's getting rather late.
• 37:28
  Speaker 10: So if any of you need to leave for your
• 37:30
  Speaker 10: host family, you can go and do that now.
• 37:33
  Speaker 11: So I'm making that announcement as well. We've got Matt.
• 37:38
  Speaker 6: I've got a quick question.
• 37:39
  Speaker 14: This is going to seem kind of out in left
• 37:41
  Speaker 14: field and kind of different from everybody else, but I
• 37:43
  Speaker 14: just came back from two years in Thailand with the IMB,
• 37:46
  Speaker 14: and my wife and I are preparing to go to
• 37:48
  Speaker 14: Southern Seminary, and we've talked about spending the rest of
• 37:52
  Speaker 14: our life after seminary overseas, and a lot of the
• 37:55
  Speaker 14: older missionaries I spent time with who trained me a
• 37:58
  Speaker 14: lot in church planning and discipleship, international, they really homeschooled
• 38:05
  Speaker 14: their children until they got to high school age then
• 38:07
  Speaker 14: they sent them to a boarding school almost every one
• 38:10
  Speaker 14: of them don't do that yeah.
• 38:14
  Speaker 5: It's the most important time that's the most important time
• 38:18
  Speaker 5: don't grow weary in doing well see it through to
• 38:21
  Speaker 5: the end.
• 38:22
  Speaker 1: Leave the ministry before you leave your children up to
• 38:25
  Speaker 1: a boarding school god doesn't need your ministry but he
• 38:28
  Speaker 1: does desire that you be obedient i'm not kidding do.
• 38:33
  Speaker 2: You have children.
• 38:35
  Speaker 14: We just got married a month ago now.
• 38:37
  Speaker 2: You better not have children.
• 38:38
  Speaker 5: Hey, we had our, you know, I told you we
• 38:42
  Speaker 5: got married somewhere between sophomore and junior year.
• 38:45
  Speaker 6: I just turned 20.
• 38:45
  Speaker 5: We had our first child 10 months later. We were
• 38:48
  Speaker 5: what you call efficient.
• 38:53
  Speaker 2: Pray for us.
• 38:54
  Speaker 14: We didn't have an efficient family.
• 38:57
  Speaker 6: So, yeah, junior year, you know, I got a wife,
• 38:59
  Speaker 6: I got a baby. People thought we were crazy.
• 39:02
  Speaker 1: Brother, I'm not an experienced dad. I mean, my oldest
• 39:05
  Speaker 1: son is six years old. But he was born yesterday,
• 39:11
  Speaker 1: it seems like. Those six years went by like six hours.
• 39:16
  Speaker 1: And I think if you're not influenced by heresy and
• 39:22
  Speaker 1: false teaching, which is a very strong thing to break from,
• 39:26
  Speaker 1: and you're filled with the Holy Spirit, you cut off
• 39:30
  Speaker 1: your arm before you would.
• 39:31
  Speaker 2: Send those children to boarding school. To the wind. To
• 39:36
  Speaker 2: the wind with your ministry.
• 39:38
  Speaker 6: Yeah. Luke 640.
• 39:41
  Speaker 5: A pupil is not above his teacher, but everyone when
• 39:43
  Speaker 5: he is fully trained will be like his teacher. Whoever's
• 39:47
  Speaker 5: teaching your children is discipling your children. That ought to
• 39:52
  Speaker 5: make us shake. I have a question here in the back.
• 39:57
  Speaker 8: I've been talking a lot about courtship and it being
• 40:02
  Speaker 8: just very countercultural. A lot of guys are sitting here,
• 40:07
  Speaker 8: myself included, in some respects, on how that might look.
• 40:14
  Speaker 8: Do you approach the father first? Is it the girl's
• 40:17
  Speaker 8: permission to speak to the father first? How does that
• 40:20
  Speaker 8: play out if you're trying to do that?
• 40:24
  Speaker 6: First, there's really no rules, but there's principles.
• 40:27
  Speaker 5: For example, in Jeremiah 29, Jeremiah 29 is very clear
• 40:31
  Speaker 5: that the responsibility of the father is to give his
• 40:34
  Speaker 5: daughters in marriage and find daughters for his sons. But
• 40:40
  Speaker 5: here's just a couple of things. One, you definitely want
• 40:45
  Speaker 5: to go through that father thing. Because if you go
• 40:48
  Speaker 5: to the young woman first, then what you do is
• 40:52
  Speaker 5: you risk her emotional attachment to you before there's been
• 40:57
  Speaker 5: any approval of you being the kind of young man
• 41:01
  Speaker 5: that would even have a possibility of pursuing her. And
• 41:05
  Speaker 5: what you want to do more than anything else is
• 41:07
  Speaker 5: protect her in every way, especially her emotions. So. you
• 41:13
  Speaker 5: would definitely pursue that through her father first. You do
• 41:17
  Speaker 5: not want to go the other route. That's just not
• 41:24
  Speaker 5: the way to do it because you don't want those
• 41:26
  Speaker 5: things to sort of.
• 41:27
  Speaker 6: Cloud the way everything else happens.
• 41:30
  Speaker 5: And what that's going to look like is going to
• 41:32
  Speaker 5: depend on that father and how he's chosen to lead
• 41:36
  Speaker 5: his family. And so you're going to have to submit
• 41:39
  Speaker 5: to whatever that father has put in place as he's
• 41:43
  Speaker 5: chosen to lead his family. I mean, that's going to
• 41:45
  Speaker 5: differ from, you know, person to person as far as
• 41:49
  Speaker 5: them testing or assessing your qualifications, your suitability and things
• 41:57
  Speaker 5: of that nature. As far as them deciding when and
• 42:02
  Speaker 5: how you would begin to have some time with that daughter,
• 42:08
  Speaker 5: you know, and the kind of chaperoning and supervision that's
• 42:11
  Speaker 5: going to take place there. Those are things that are
• 42:13
  Speaker 5: all going to be governed depending on what it is
• 42:17
  Speaker 5: that that father determines for his family. But the non-negotiable
• 42:22
  Speaker 5: is this is something that we do through that father.
• 42:28
  Speaker 1: What do you do, Brother Bodie, when a young man
• 42:31
  Speaker 1: goes to a father and the father just thinks he's
• 42:34
  Speaker 1: a lunatic for even asking?
• 42:37
  Speaker 5: You know, just like you just said, that is an incredible...
• 42:41
  Speaker 5: witnessing opportunity. When you do that, you've just communicated something.
• 42:47
  Speaker 5: The other thing you've done is, if the guy thinks
• 42:49
  Speaker 5: you're a lunatic for doing it and for coming to
• 42:51
  Speaker 5: him or whatever, he's also pricked a little bit. Because
• 42:56
  Speaker 5: he's like, man, this guy is more concerned about my
• 43:00
  Speaker 5: daughter than I am in many ways. That was honorable.
• 43:06
  Speaker 5: So even if he thinks you're crazy for doing it,
• 43:08
  Speaker 5: number one, you do it because it's right. And secondly,
• 43:10
  Speaker 5: you do it because you want to honor him. And
• 43:12
  Speaker 5: we'll talk about this a little more tomorrow. But one
• 43:15
  Speaker 5: of the mistakes that men make is if you enter
• 43:19
  Speaker 5: into a relationship with your future wife by dishonoring her father,
• 43:26
  Speaker 5: you will undermine her ability to submit to you. Because
• 43:30
  Speaker 5: you have violated that man's authority in his home. And
• 43:34
  Speaker 5: in turn, you will have violated your own authority in
• 43:37
  Speaker 5: your home. So that's incredibly dangerous to do. So even
• 43:42
  Speaker 5: if he thinks you're crazy, you do that because you're
• 43:45
  Speaker 5: communicating to him and you're communicating to her what biblical
• 43:49
  Speaker 5: submission is, what biblical roles and responsibility and authority is,
• 43:54
  Speaker 5: and you're establishing even in your own home what this
• 43:57
  Speaker 5: picture of headship is all about. So the last thing
• 44:00
  Speaker 5: you want to do is establish your own understanding of
• 44:03
  Speaker 5: headship in your home by violating the headship that she
• 44:07
  Speaker 5: had in her home. And if she is willing to
• 44:10
  Speaker 5: allow that headship in her home to be violated, she's
• 44:13
  Speaker 5: probably not going to honor headship in hers.
• 44:19
  Speaker 10: I think we're going to call it. I know we
• 44:20
  Speaker 10: have a few others tonight, but it's getting late. And
• 44:24
  Speaker 10: the good thing is we're going to have more Q
• 44:25
  Speaker 10: & A tomorrow as well.
• 44:26
  Speaker 11: So if you have questions on that, feel free to
• 44:30
  Speaker 11: hang out for a while.
• 44:31
  Speaker 10: We'll start 9 o'clock tomorrow morning, 9 o'clock for the
• 44:35
  Speaker 10: free lunch after that.
• 44:36
  Speaker 11: If you're staying at the church.
• 44:39
  Speaker 10: Come see me right now, and then also leave your
• 44:42
  Speaker 10: sign-up sheets on the chairs, please. Also, there's a sign-up
• 44:47
  Speaker 10: sheet outside if you want to sign up for CDs
• 44:50
  Speaker 10: or DVDs. Let us know if you want a DVD
• 44:52
  Speaker 10: or CD.
• 44:53
  Speaker 2: It may.
• 45:03
  Speaker 9: Be dark, but God is light.
• 45:11
  Speaker 6: I may be down, but I will rise.
• 45:15
  Speaker 9: It may be dark, but God is with me.