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STSE# 69: We Are Thankful · Sometimes There's Side Eye

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Welcome to Sometimes There's Side Eye, a podcast about two
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friends having real and unfiltered conversations about
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dogs and people listen as we talk about our lives with dogs,
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training, behavior, share some laughs and a whole lot of
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banter. I'm Heather.
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And I'm Christy, what are we talking about this week,
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Heather? We are going to do our last
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episode before the holidays. We're taking a holiday break and
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this episode is going to be what are we thankful for?
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Obviously anything that is applicable to dogs.
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Well, and I guess anything related to like people, maybe
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we've met through dogs or whatever, just dog stuff.
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Dog stuff, yeah. What do you got Christy?
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And should have a list over there per usual.
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I am thankful that Jackson is goofy enough to to bring a lot
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of laughter into my life. He's a pretty serious guy
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compared to Lucy and so I really felt like he was going to be too
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serious for me. But he has this goofy crazy side
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and I do find myself laughing every single.
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Day. The little clowniness of a dog
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can like, really just brighten your day.
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Yeah. Yeah, I, I am definitely
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grateful for a little Mr. Bulldog's silliness, his antics.
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I think, you know, I feel like Jackson and Thiago are kind of
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similar in that way, like generally serious dogs, but they
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have such silly sides. Yes.
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Yeah, I wonder if other people would deter.
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Do you think of Thiago as a serious guy?
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Yeah, remember I. Don't know, I remember.
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A conversation. I said I think Rottweilers are
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too serious for me and others. Like what?
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He's such a goofball. What do you mean?
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And I was like, Oh no, I need goofball with a sight of
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serious, and he's serious with a sight of goofball.
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I do remember that now. And now you live with a serious,
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with a sight of goofball. Yeah, no.
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No wonder you love Bulldog so much.
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That all makes sense. Yeah, Bulldog is my spirit
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animal. He loves food.
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He loves being weird and goofy. Yeah, that is.
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True. I'm also thankful for the
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Bulldog. I mean, I I can accept that
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Bulldog has certainly grown, made himself a little corner in
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my heart and is there to stay. He's like a fungus, he's just
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growing. Yeah, it would seem that way.
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Aw, he's laying right here. Should I tell him he's a fungus,
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according to Christy? He's a fungi.
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Yeah, a fungi. Nice.
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Oh boy, it's it's getting ugly real quick here we.
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Haven't even been drinking. Yeah, right.
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I am grateful for thankful for us having this podcast because
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there are so many times where we work through problems on the
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air. And I think I, I do wonder
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sometimes do people think it's a shtick or whatever, but it's
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really not. There are truly so many times
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where I've had epiphanies while we were talking on an episode
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and I'm like, I feel like it's just like this safe space to air
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whatever's going on and figure things out.
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So I am grateful that that our friendship allows us to do that
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and the things that really come from that.
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And I would imagine that would still happen without the
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podcast, but I think it's really great and organic the way it
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sort of happens on the podcast too.
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Yeah, I like that I get to see your face when we work it out on
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the podcast. Yeah, totally.
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Because then we can make faces at each other and be like, Oh my
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gosh, I didn't even realize exactly what else you got on
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your little thankful list. I am thankful this year has been
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particularly hard. I call it the year of death 2025
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because both our friend Barbara from Barnhut and then my
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neighbor John who convinced me to get Jackson and keep him
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because he said don't worry, we'll be right by your side,
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we'll help you out along the way.
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Both of them have passed completely unexpectedly within
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three weeks of each other. And and I'm not thankful for
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that, but I am thankful that my tendency when I'm sad or
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depressed is to just lay in bed and just go catatonic as much as
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possible and eat my feelings and sleep my feelings and all those
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things. And I'm thankful that with
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Jackson, I was not able to do that, that he made me go out,
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get get out in the sunshine, get my feet in the dirt and the on
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the earth. You know, that we still needed
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to to get ourselves to class to, you know, because he still needs
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all the same exercise. Like he he's very great at
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snuggling when he knows I am sad or under the weather or
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whatever. But at the same time he needs to
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be run. He needs his mental stimulation.
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So he gave me a space where we could he could be snuggly and
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sweet, but also was like, now it's time to get up.
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Now we go do things. Yeah.
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So I was glad to have that in my life, thankful for a push
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forward when I needed it. Yeah, it was very losing Barb
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was. I mean, we've talked about how
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difficult it was, but also at her memorial service, seeing all
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of the people telling their stories and having her family
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say they, they got to experience Barb through all of us in a
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completely different way because they didn't, you know, they
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didn't know the dog side of her, which for all of us, all of us
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dog people was so hard to understand because that's the
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only Barb we knew, you know, But I do understand it.
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Dog sports is a very different world from like what anybody
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else knows, and either you're in it or you're not.
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And so it was really special to sit back and see everyone share
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all these stories about the impact that somebody had on our
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lives, and that impact only came because of dogs.
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Yeah, cheers to. Barb, I agree.
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Oh, makes me teary, I agree. Cheers to John too, because I
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don't know that you would have gotten over the threshold and
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adopted Jackson without his pressure.
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Yeah, yeah. And I think going along that
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theme of to honor John in a way his his partner Marie.
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So Marie still comes and gets Jackson and we still exchange
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dogs for play dates. And Jackson jumped in her car
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the other day and just, he's not normally like a face licker per
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SE, but man, he just, he jumped into the driver's seat before
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she could get the car started again and just buried her with
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kisses and was so excited over the top, excited to see her.
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And I thought, man, everyone deserves to be loved the way
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Jackson loves Marie. And then I love that docs teach
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us that. Yeah, I agree.
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I am thankful for the dogs that I have during.
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So I guess we didn't really talk about the fact that I had back
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surgery. So I had back surgery 2 weeks
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ago and I, I am not allowed to have a dog on a leash attached
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to me for 6 to 8 weeks. And if you know me, you can
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imagine how difficult that is. But I am thankful for my dogs
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and how they behave at my house and they're they have made my
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recovery pretty easier than I could have imagined.
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And of course, her usual Tiago's perfect, but honestly, Bulldog's
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been perfect too. And the, I would say trend's
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been perfect as well. She just like, needs more
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energy. Like, she's a little bored, I
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think. But you know, the boys are just
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like doing their thing, like, oh, OK, we're coming.
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We're laying down, we're hanging out.
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It doesn't matter how long that is.
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They don't care. And I'm actually kind of
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thankful for this time as well because I have been sleeping in
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our guest room because it's been better for my recovery every.
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And so Tiago's been sleeping with me every night.
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Isn't it nice to sleep with the dog?
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I mean, look. It is.
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I'm thankful my dog sleeps with me every night.
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I I will say this, if I lived alone and I owned Tiago, I would
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let Tiago sleep with me every night of his life because he is
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such a good sleeper. He doesn't crowd me, he doesn't
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make me hot. He doesn't wake me up.
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Bulldog. No way.
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Because he kicks you and he buries into you and it's
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Burrows. It's just it's not a good
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sleeping experience. He does those things for sure,
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yeah. He does also trend.
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Same trend's the worst. You would think she'd.
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Be the best because she's small, she's the worst she's.
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The worst. But no, I am thankful for how
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easy my dogs have been in my recovery.
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And I will just say, although the episodes about dogs, I would
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not have some of the friends that I have without dogs.
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And my friends throughout my recovery thus far have been
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incredible. And so I am very thankful for
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that as well. I am thankful for the people
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dogs bring into our lives. I've met.
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I mean, Lucy brought in all of you guys and, and then through
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the shelter work and volunteering and then Jackson's
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brought in a whole different slew of people who are also fun
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and just a such a variety of people that I wouldn't have met
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outside of dogs. Yeah, I'm so thankful for those
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connections and what the different personalities bring.
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They color your life in a different way.
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And I, I totally agree with you, those connections in that the
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community, there's nothing like it.
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I will say I am thankful. You know what actually I'm going
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to pivot. I have like different.
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I want to make sure I get it before I forget it.
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I was looking at old videos this week and I am thankful for for
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Bulldog. I know, and it's because I was
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telling Heather before we started today that he does not
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get credit for being the secondary friend a lot.
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So Lucy's number one guy in the whole world was Tiago.
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Jackson's favorite dog is Trenton, however, Bulldog is
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right there as a close second in an old video of him and Lucy
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running around the coffee table. And then him running himself
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into the coffee table surfaced this week and I just was dying
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laughing at it. And then then the memories of
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Jackson and Bulldog running around the backyard came up, and
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I thought, he is just the best secondary friend.
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Yeah, he tells him he's nobody's favorite necessarily, which
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sounds terrible, but it's not. He doesn't care.
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He's just a great friend to the other dogs.
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Both of my dogs have loved him so much.
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Yeah, he's just like a solid copilot to Tiago or Trenton,
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whoever. And I mean, let's face it, Tater
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doesn't need anyone else to love him as the number one because
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that is Jair's spot. That is my husband's spot.
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My husband loves that dog enough for the entire universe.
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So we're thankful we even get to be in the sphere.
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Oh. It is so true 'cause it's
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tater's world and we're living in it.
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Yes. No, that is like a really good
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point. Tater's personality is so
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special and funny and all of that stuff, but aside from that,
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like he is just a solid good guy, yeah.
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Yeah, yeah. Would you say he's a fun guy?
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I might what else you got over there on that list.
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Well, I was thinking about how recently Jackson sometimes likes
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to lay on my furniture that's not appropriate to lay on, like
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coffee tables or end tables. And I had to laugh because I
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thought, you know what? I'm an adult and it makes me
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laugh that my dog is on the coffee table.
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I know it's naughty, I know I should correct it.
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But guess what? It's my house and I get to make
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up the rules. And I know that sounds really
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odd but I think I needed him in my life to realize I can make up
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the my own rules. Like I don't have to always go
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with society says dogs shouldn't be on the coffee table.
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I it's my house, I can have dogs on the coffee table if I want.
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I think it's so so funny because prior to any of my friends
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owning a Stafford, I can't even ever imagine.
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In fact, I actually remember another friend showing me a
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picture where people were like laughing because this person
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Stafford was standing on their dining room table and I was
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literally what the hell is wrong with them?
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Like I, and this is going back probably 8 or 9 years and I was
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just incensed that someone was laughing at their dog being on a
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table. Now that in my mind I instantly
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imagine a Rottweiler standing on your dining room table, which
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feels a little more ridiculous, but I.
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Maybe even more funny. Than yeah, but I literally was
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like, Oh my God, I cannot believe anyone would ever laugh
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at that. And then move forward to pilot
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coming into our lives and us learning that Staffords are
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ridiculous and they literally stand on tables.
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This is like part of what they do.
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And owners laugh about it all the time.
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And we now have like 3 Staffords.
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Well 3.25 I'm going to say we have 3 Staffords in our life
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plus Jackson's .25 Stafford and all of said Stafford's would not
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even think twice and absolutely have stood on a freaking table.
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And so now at this point I'm just like oh like whatever.
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When I saw Jackson do it, I was like, well, of course he does,
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he's part Stafford when you. I was not expecting that.
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But I do like, I am grateful going back to what you're
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thankful for. I'm grateful that I have
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loosened up enough over the last 9-10 years to like look at that
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now and see the humor in it instead of being so stuffy about
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it and being like, Oh my God, there's a dog on the table.
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You know, it's so funny how that has changed by Pilot and
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everybody else being a part of my existence, just like Jackson
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being a part of yours. And I do.
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I see Jackson do that shit and I'm just like, well, that's the
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Stafford in him. Of course he's doing that.
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Why wouldn't he? Because do you remember when
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Bulldog was half on the table, he literally was staying at your
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house. His front feet were on the
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coffee table and his back feet were on the sofa.
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And you sent me that picture and I was like, Christy, what is
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wrong with you? Why would you let Bulldog do
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that? You were here.
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I took the picture and then called it to your attention.
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Oh, that's correct. And you were like, I was
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incensed. Unbelievable.
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We're like not having it. And I was like, this is the
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funniest thing I've ever seen. And you're like, get down.
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But then he was kind of stuck because he couldn't.
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Get. Back into the front and he
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couldn't back his front. He was stretched out a little
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too much and then you were annoyed you had to help him.
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Oh my. How the world changes, how our
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lives and our perspectives change.
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Yeah, yeah. That's.
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Hilarious. Now if he did it, would you
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think it was funny? I would probably laugh at him
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but still yell at him. This is my dog.
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So it's fine. Because it's my dogs.
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Like my dogs will stand on the table.
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Apparently I haven't become that enlightened.
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We'll keep working on you, yeah. We'll keep working on it.
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Oh, that's so funny. You know, I am really grateful
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for the evolution that continues to happen in dog training and I
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am grateful that and thankful for the amount of people that
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share their brilliance with the world.
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You know, I, I feel like, and, and we've said this to like
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social media, like there's so much negativity out there, but
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there are so many smart, smart people that are doing really
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smart things when it comes to training their dogs and other
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people's dogs and talking about how what our relationships look
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like, what they should look like, what they could look like.
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And I'm just like super thankful that all of those people use
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social media in such a positive way and that we come across that
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stuff often enough that maybe once a week, you and I will see
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something and send it to each other and say, this is so smart.
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Or did you read this? And because it makes that much
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of an impact on us, I, I guess I'm thankful for the access to
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all of that because it does make us better owners and it makes us
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better trainers. Yeah, absolutely.
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And I feel like our algorithm is very similar.
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Like sometimes people send me things and I think our algorithm
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is very different. Whenever you send me something,
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I'm like, oh, I saw that or oh, I was going to send that to.
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You Yeah, yeah. The thing I sent to Christy this
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week was somebody was showing a new way to to teach a dog to
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hold something in their mouth. And it was just such a smart and
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kind approach. And it is a direct 180 in
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comparison to the way that having that people used to teach
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this majority of people used to teach it.
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And I just like looked at that and I was like, this is so smart
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and it's thinking outside of the box.
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And gosh, we are so lucky that we have access to all of that
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kind of stuff. It makes me.
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It makes me better. Yeah, yeah.
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And I think that I'm, I'm really thankful on those same lines
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that that training is spilling into the everyday and into the
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sports world. So it's not just a concept, it's
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that we're seeing it in real life.
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And I am starting to see that with people that are competing
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with their dogs and, and to be honest, like it's much nicer to
20:30
go to a dog show and like, have, I have someone celebrating with
20:34
their dog then like screaming at their dog or you know, those
20:37
types of things. I, I remember the first agility
20:40
trial I went to and I walked away and I said, they're so
20:45
unkind to their dogs. They're so mean.
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There were probably three people out of 50 that were kind to
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their dogs. And I said, I, I don't think I
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like this sport. Like this is not something for
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me, but I am seeing a shift where people are just being
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kinder. Yeah, that was my same
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experience. Going to check out an agility
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trainer so many years ago when we moved back here and I walked
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away and I was just like, yeah, this is not what I want my life
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with my dog to look like. And I know we're both saying
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agility, but it happens everywhere.
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And I. Not picking on agility, it just
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we're not, we're not. But I agree with you, I think
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that there is in a lot of different places a shift.
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And there are also people that I have known in the sports
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community to be what we will say an old school trainer, like old
21:44
school trainer trainers were generally more heavy-handed.
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The the way of doing things was different.
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And I see, I see more move towards a better way, a kinder
21:58
way, a gentler way even in some of those people.
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And that is really nice to see. And it makes me want to do more
22:08
because I'm around than people who understand the approach that
22:13
you and I take to things, right? Because it's easier for them to
22:17
understand who we are and how we're going about teaching what
22:21
we're what we're trying to teach.
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Yeah, I'm also thankful because it it makes me pause as a
22:29
person, with a dog, as a owner, before I get to this level of
22:34
frustration. Like should I stop this training
22:37
session? Should I do these things?
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And even if I tip over into frustration, it still provides
22:44
like a warning flag for me to be like, Hey, this is not how you
22:50
usually act. So like, what's going on?
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And then where I can back, back, back myself back out of this
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frustration period or this, this place where I might be more more
23:01
abrupt with my dog or angry or with my dog, those types of
23:05
things. So I do, I'm so appreciative
23:07
that the community as a whole is moving towards kindness.
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So it does put something on you to remind you and just that the
23:15
the information that we can get is kinder too.
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So that honestly, what you listen to and what you ingest
23:23
with your eyes, it makes a difference.
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And, and so if I'm watching Kinder videos, if I'm listening
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to Kinder podcasts, if I'm looking up Kinder trainers that
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and I'm soaking in that kindness that that comes out somewhere
23:39
and, and it comes out towards my dog most of the time.
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And if it's not coming out towards my dog, then there's at
23:45
least a warning signal in my brain that says that's not
23:49
lining up with what you've been putting in your brain, that's
23:52
not lining up with who you want to be.
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Yeah, it's like it. It makes you more aware that
23:58
you've fallen outside of the guidelines that you have, that
24:02
you're trying to maintain, You know, because no one's perfect.
24:05
We all have bad days. We all we so over threshold just
24:09
like our dogs and we get, you know, layer upon layer of thing,
24:15
terrible things happening or frustrating things happening all
24:19
of that, right. So, but it is easier.
24:23
What was I saying to you earlier, you know, reinforcement
24:26
history? Like it's easier to when you're
24:29
seeing all that kindness in the world and around you and you're
24:33
adjusting it, it's easier than, one, to recognize when you are
24:37
over threshold and then two, to recognize how to bring yourself
24:41
back down. Yeah.
24:43
So yeah, I love that. I'm also going to say I'm
24:47
thankful dogs teach us patients. I told Heather earlier.
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I wasn't thankful for it. I wasn't going to say it.
24:54
I'm not thankful for it, but I am thankful that they teach us
24:59
patience along the way. They sometimes they, they bring
25:03
us down a peg and that's OK. Humility is good.
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Humility is my friend right now. Yeah.
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Always. Yeah.
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Well, yeah. And I think that they also teach
25:15
us creativity, especially when we're someone who's actively
25:20
training our dogs right to do particular tasks.
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You it It really does beg that you be creative if something's
25:29
not working out, and that creativity makes you a better
25:34
owner. Yeah, absolutely.
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Last and certainly not least, we are always thankful for our
25:44
listeners. And I was thinking as I was
25:47
saying this, I was like, you know, people are like thanks to
25:50
my family and as if they're they're your only listeners.
25:53
But we know that that's not the people that are listening to us
25:56
because our family would never listen to this podcast.
26:02
So. What that means for us is.
26:05
To everyone who's not our family.
26:07
Like we have a very committed little group of people who
26:14
listen to us, and we are very thankful that you continue to
26:20
stick with us and listen to us ramble on.
26:22
And the reason that we do this is because it means something to
26:27
someone out there. And we still do hear from people
26:31
who say, hey, that episode really meant something to us.
26:34
And so we're thankful for you and we appreciate listening
26:38
because this is a Libra of love and we just do it because we
26:41
enjoy it and we'll do it and as long as we do enjoy it.
26:45
Yeah, yeah, yeah. I feel like your guys is
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whenever you guys chime in and say, hey, that meant something
26:52
to us, that's always the time that we need it.
26:55
Like, yeah, oh, OK, we are still making a positive impact.
26:59
So thank you for engaging with us.
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And I feel like we for sure have the best listeners in the world.
27:06
And yeah, and I know we say a lot that we're thankful for you,
27:09
but it's because we're a lot thankful for you.
27:12
Yes, I agree. We we need to give the thank,
27:16
say we're thankful many times over throughout the year because
27:19
it does mean a lot and without you there would be no show.
27:23
Right, it'd just be Heather and I just talking to each other
27:27
again. It'd be back to just Facebook
27:29
messages back and forth. I know, I know this is way this.
27:33
Is way better. So happy Thanksgiving to
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everybody who celebrates and enjoy your time with your
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family, with or without dogs 'cause sometimes no dogs, which
27:45
feels really sad, but it happens and.
27:48
Have a Merry Christmas and a Happy New Year and then we will
27:52
see you guys all in the New Year.
27:54
Yeah, we'll be back in January. See you then.
27:58
Bye bye. If you've enjoyed this episode,
28:03
subscribe, rate and share us wherever you get your podcast.
28:07
Also come on over to Instagram and engage with us at Sometimes
28:11
Their Side Eye. Thanks for listening everybody.
28:14
Talk to you next time. Bye bye.