Latest / The Career Mentor Podcast with Fexingo: Finding Mentors, Sponsors, and Career Advisors / How to Find a Mentor When You Are Overqualified
Transcript
- Lucas: There is a specific kind of career trap that nobody warns you about. You get good enough at your job that you become the most experienced person in the room — and suddenly you feel like you have no one left to learn from. Luna: That sounds like a humblebrag, but it's actually a real problem. You're overqualified for a mentor, but you still need one. Lucas: Exactly. And today I want to talk about how to find a mentor when you are overqualified — when you have more years or more domain expertise than anyone you could reasonably ask for guidance. Luna: If today's conversation helps you think through that, it's exactly why the show exists. And the way we keep these episodes ad-free is through listener support — buy me a coffee dot com slash fexingo. Just a simple way to say this content matters to you. Lucas: Yeah, it really does make a difference. So let's start with the fundamental tension: the more senior you get, the narrower the pool of people who can genuinely challenge you. Luna: But you're not saying there's no one, right? Just that the usual channels — your boss, your peers — stop being useful? Lucas: Right. If you're a VP of engineering with fifteen years in the industry, your direct boss might be a CTO who respects your judgment. They're not going to sit you down and say 'let me teach you how to run a sprint.' You've been doing that longer than they have. Luna: So the mentor has to shift from teaching you the basics to being a thinking partner. Lucas: That's exactly the reframe. Mary Barra, the CEO of General Motors, has talked about this. Even after she became CEO in 2014, she kept a mentor from her early engineering days — a guy named John Smith who had retired years earlier. She said she didn't call him to learn how to read a balance sheet. She called him to talk through the human dynamics of a boardroom decision. Luna: So it wasn't about technical knowledge. It was about perspective and judgment. Lucas: Exactly. And that's the key insight for anyone who feels overqualified for mentorship: you're not looking for a teacher. You're looking for someone who can ask better questions than you're asking yourself. Luna: Let's talk about where to find those people. Because if you're the most senior person in your company, your peers are probably at your level or below. Lucas: One place is outside your industry entirely. I've seen a lot of senior product leaders, for instance, find mentors in completely different fields — military officers, artists, even clergy. They don't need someone who understands product roadmaps. They need someone who understands resilience, team psychology, or how to communicate under pressure. Luna: That's a great way to avoid the 'I already know this' trap. The skills are transferable even if the domain isn't. Lucas: Another approach is to look for someone who has the specific skill you want to develop next. Maybe you are a world-class operator, but you've never had to raise money from a board. Or you've never managed a p and l across multiple countries. Find someone who has done exactly that — even if they are junior to you in title or age. Luna: That takes humility. It's hard to go to someone who is younger or lower on the org chart and say 'I need your help.' Lucas: It does. But I've found that the most respected leaders are the ones who are visibly still learning. When a senior person asks a more junior colleague for advice on a specific topic, it actually builds trust and respect. It signals that competence is not the same as knowing everything. Luna: What about using an executive coach? Is that a substitute for a mentor? Lucas: A coach is a paid professional who helps you achieve specific goals. A mentor is usually unpaid and more relational. They're different tools. But if you're overqualified and struggling to find a mentor, a coach can fill the gap temporarily. The downside is that a coach doesn't have the same institutional memory or long-term investment in your career. Luna: Right. So you don't get the sponsorship piece — the person who will advocate for you when you're not in the room. Lucas: Exactly. And that's another reason to keep looking for a mentor even when you feel you don't need one. A sponsor is someone who puts your name forward for a stretch assignment or a promotion. That's hard to get from a coach. Luna: So let's say I'm a senior director and I want a mentor. How do I actually approach someone? Lucas: You don't say 'will you be my mentor?' That's too vague and high-pressure. Instead, you say something like 'I'm working through a decision about X, and you have experience in that area. Could I buy you lunch and pick your brain for thirty minutes?' Specific, low-commitment, and framed around a concrete problem. Luna: And after that first conversation, you can follow up and see if there's chemistry for a longer relationship. Lucas: Right. One of the best mentors I ever had was someone I approached with a single question about organizational politics. That one conversation turned into quarterly check-ins that lasted years. Luna: What if you're in a field where there really aren't many people more senior than you? Like, what if you're a top-tier data scientist with a PhD and ten years of experience? Lucas: Then you probably need to go outside your field. A senior data scientist might benefit from a mentor who is a chief marketing officer. The CMO can't tell you how to tune a neural network, but they can teach you how to sell a complex idea to a non-technical executive, how to navigate budget cycles, how to build a team. Luna: So the mentor doesn't have to know your craft. They just have to know something you need to learn. Lucas: Exactly. And that's the reframe for anyone who feels overqualified: you are not too good for mentorship. You are probably just looking in the wrong places or defining mentorship too narrowly. Luna: I want to circle back to something you said earlier about humility. Is there a risk that someone who is overqualified might come across as arrogant when asking for a mentor? Lucas: It's possible, but it depends on the framing. If you lead with what you don't know, it's disarming. If you say 'I've been doing this for fifteen years, but I've never had to present to a board, and I know you have — could you help me prepare?' — that's not arrogance. That's self-awareness. Luna: What about reverse mentoring? Where a more junior person mentors a senior person on something like social media or new technology? Lucas: That's another excellent option. Many companies now have formal reverse mentoring programs. But even informally, you can ask a younger colleague to teach you something. It flattens the hierarchy and gives you fresh perspective. Luna: I think the biggest takeaway for me is that the need for a mentor doesn't go away. It just changes shape. Lucas: Exactly. When you're starting out, you need someone to show you the ropes. When you're mid-career, you need someone to help you navigate complexity. When you're senior, you need someone to help you see your own blind spots. Luna: And the best senior leaders I've observed are the ones who actively cultivate multiple mentors — not just one. Lucas: That's a great point. You want a personal board of directors. Someone who challenges your strategic thinking, someone who gives you honest feedback on your leadership style, someone who understands the political landscape, and maybe someone who just listens. Luna: So the question for our listeners who feel overqualified is: what is the one thing you wish you were better at, and who could help you with it? Lucas: That's the perfect question to leave them with. And if today's conversation was useful, you know where to find us. Thanks for being here.