Latest / Decisions, Decisions / You've Got Decisions: UPDATE: I Slept with My BF’s Parents x My Wife Doesn’t Want My Sub to Join

Transcript

You've Got Decisions: UPDATE: I Slept with My BF’s Parents x My Wife Doesn’t Want My Sub to Join · Decisions, Decisions

• 0:01
  Speaker 1: If you would like to have us answer your questions.
• 0:04
  Speaker 1: If you have a terrible job, a terrible boyfriend, or
• 0:07
  Speaker 1: a terrible threatfle guess what.
• 0:11
  Speaker 2: You've got decisions. You've got decisions, all right, do too.
• 0:18
  Speaker 2: Welcome guys. This is a very special YGD this week
• 0:22
  Speaker 2: because Baby, we got up dates, which I love because
• 0:28
  Speaker 2: in the first update we have, you guys can reference
• 0:31
  Speaker 2: the episode. Let me let y'all know what it is,
• 0:35
  Speaker 2: all right. So the first update we have comes from
• 0:39
  Speaker 2: the episode that was released on May thirteenth. The episode
• 0:45
  Speaker 2: title of the YGD is I Think I've slept with
• 0:48
  Speaker 2: my boyfriend's parents Tea.
• 0:52
  Speaker 1: People thought it was fake.
• 0:53
  Speaker 2: Well you thought it was fake because he called you
• 0:55
  Speaker 2: out in the lot of Baby. Listen, Oh Andrew, he said,
• 1:00
  Speaker 2: let's just get into it again. If you have written
• 1:03
  Speaker 2: in and you have an update, please please please tell
• 1:08
  Speaker 2: us what the hell happened after you wrote in and
• 1:12
  Speaker 2: heard our feedback. So this one, again is an update
• 1:16
  Speaker 2: for the man who slept with his boyfriend's parents. Hi,
• 1:20
  Speaker 2: Mandy and Weezy. I appreciate you both taking the time
• 1:23
  Speaker 2: to give me advice, and I wanted to answer a
• 1:25
  Speaker 2: few questions before giving the update. Mandy. Yes, I am
• 1:30
  Speaker 2: a man. I'm bisexual. I'm romantically and sexually attracted to men,
• 1:34
  Speaker 2: but with women it's mostly physical. I've known for years
• 1:38
  Speaker 2: that I don't want a relationship with a woman, and
• 1:40
  Speaker 2: I've always been honest about that with the women i've
• 1:44
  Speaker 2: been involved with. Weezy. Unfortunately, yes, this story is true.
• 1:49
  Speaker 2: I wish this was some fake radio story. I wish
• 1:52
  Speaker 2: I could say I made it up and laugh about it,
• 1:54
  Speaker 2: but no, I really did sleep with both of mine.
• 1:57
  Speaker 2: Now ex boyfriend's parents to hear that. Now for the update, Mandy,
• 2:04
  Speaker 2: I should have listened to you. You told me to
• 2:07
  Speaker 2: end things before it got complicated, and you were right.
• 2:10
  Speaker 2: I convinced myself that maybe his parents wouldn't recognize me,
• 2:14
  Speaker 2: or if they did, they would just pretend it never happened.
• 2:18
  Speaker 2: I was wrong. My boyfriend was an only child and
• 2:21
  Speaker 2: his parents had this perfect idea of who he should
• 2:24
  Speaker 2: be with. Honestly, based on that alone, I probably didn't
• 2:28
  Speaker 2: stand a chance. He eventually invited me to dinner to
• 2:31
  Speaker 2: meet them. I walked in expecting disaster, but nothing happened.
• 2:36
  Speaker 2: His mom was nice, his dad was nice. We ate, talked, laughed,
• 2:41
  Speaker 2: and honestly, I left, thinking maybe everything would be okay.
• 2:45
  Speaker 2: Then the next day he went quiet. Eventually he asked
• 2:50
  Speaker 2: if we could meet at a fucking Starbucks. Immediately I
• 2:54
  Speaker 2: knew something was wrong. When I got there, he was crying.
• 2:59
  Speaker 1: Oh my god, Oh my god.
• 3:01
  Speaker 2: He told me his parents didn't think we were good
• 3:03
  Speaker 2: for each other. I asked why, and he said that
• 3:06
  Speaker 2: they didn't think I was a quote unquote good look
• 3:09
  Speaker 2: for the family. They wanted someone with more money, more status,
• 3:13
  Speaker 2: and more recognition in the community. And that's when I
• 3:17
  Speaker 2: realized neither one of them told him how they actually
• 3:20
  Speaker 2: knew me. I asked him, well, what do you want?
• 3:24
  Speaker 2: He said, I love you, but I don't know what
• 3:27
  Speaker 2: to do. And that broke me because basically his parents
• 3:32
  Speaker 2: made their decision and he couldn't defend me. I loved
• 3:36
  Speaker 2: heartbroken and told him I never wanted to see him again.
• 3:39
  Speaker 2: I should have left it there, but I didn't. A
• 3:42
  Speaker 2: few nights later, my emotions got the best of me.
• 3:47
  Speaker 2: I knew his parents would be staying at his place
• 3:49
  Speaker 2: because of an event he had mentioned months before. I
• 3:53
  Speaker 2: went over there, and when he opened the door, I
• 3:56
  Speaker 2: just snapped. I told him the real reason his parents
• 3:59
  Speaker 2: didn't want it together was because both of them had
• 4:01
  Speaker 2: slept with me, his mom from the BDSM club and
• 4:05
  Speaker 2: his dad from Grinder. Everyone immediately accused me of lying,
• 4:09
  Speaker 2: so I started saying things about them that only that
• 4:13
  Speaker 2: I shouldn't have known. I mentioned a detail about his
• 4:16
  Speaker 2: mom's body, and I told him if he checked his
• 4:18
  Speaker 2: father's phone he would probably find Grinder or something similar.
• 4:22
  Speaker 2: His dad grabbed his phone so tightly. No one said
• 4:25
  Speaker 2: or denied anything. I left crying a few days later,
• 4:30
  Speaker 2: I got one text from my ex. I wish I
• 4:33
  Speaker 2: never met you. I'm miserable. I know this whole story
• 4:37
  Speaker 2: sounds insane, but underneath everything, I'm just sad. I've been
• 4:40
  Speaker 2: alone most of my life. I was bullied growing up,
• 4:43
  Speaker 2: Nobody wanted to date me, and I spent years hiding
• 4:46
  Speaker 2: who I was. When I finally accepted myself, I explored.
• 4:51
  Speaker 2: I had fun. I experienced things I spent years thinking
• 4:54
  Speaker 2: I would never get to experience. I've honestly slept with
• 4:57
  Speaker 2: close to one hundred plus people, and now a part
• 5:01
  Speaker 2: of me wonders, was this the consequence? Did I find
• 5:05
  Speaker 2: love just to lose it because I enjoyed sleeping around.
• 5:08
  Speaker 2: I know that sounds dramatic, but it's hard not to
• 5:10
  Speaker 2: feel that way. Out of every person I could have
• 5:13
  Speaker 2: fallen for, what are the chances it was someone connected
• 5:15
  Speaker 2: to my past like that. I see couples all the
• 5:18
  Speaker 2: time and think, when is that going to be me?
• 5:21
  Speaker 2: And for the first time I really thought it was.
• 5:23
  Speaker 2: I didn't mean for this update to become sad, but
• 5:26
  Speaker 2: you two asked, and honestly, I've nobody else I can
• 5:29
  Speaker 2: tell this story to, so here it is. I fucking
• 5:31
  Speaker 2: hate my life. Congratulations Weasy on your engagement. I'm sure
• 5:35
  Speaker 2: you know how blessed you truly are.
• 5:38
  Speaker 1: W Wait, that made me feel bad, Like, well, let
• 5:44
  Speaker 1: me say this clearly, pose get married too, which means
• 5:49
  Speaker 1: if that's what you're looking for, it'll happen. Actually, sidebar,
• 5:58
  Speaker 1: I will share later on decisions decisions or or whichever
• 6:03
  Speaker 1: one about a friend of mine that's like really struggling
• 6:05
  Speaker 1: with my engagement and like, I'm finding myself feeling bad
• 6:09
  Speaker 1: about it. And I had this conversation with Brionda, not
• 6:12
  Speaker 1: bad about me being engaged, but like bad for her,
• 6:14
  Speaker 1: but also like, why am I consulting you for not
• 6:16
  Speaker 1: being married yet? It's weird, But Brionda was like Bro,
• 6:19
  Speaker 1: no shape, but like you're thirty five getting married, Like
• 6:23
  Speaker 1: you might be thirty six by the time you have
• 6:26
  Speaker 1: your wedding, Like you're not a young bride, Like it
• 6:29
  Speaker 1: took a long time. Like people are going to discuss
• 6:32
  Speaker 1: geriatric pregnancy with you, Like you're gonna, you know, have
• 6:35
  Speaker 1: all these conversations about how you have to hurry up.
• 6:37
  Speaker 1: Even my boyfriend's mom was like, when you're gonna do
• 6:39
  Speaker 1: it like she did bad, you know what I mean.
• 6:41
  Speaker 1: So this is a later in life thing, right, So
• 6:45
  Speaker 1: it's not like I even thought it would be that
• 6:49
  Speaker 1: easy to happen too. And I say that all to say,
• 6:52
  Speaker 1: I think that we assume, because our sexual circumstances in
• 6:56
  Speaker 1: the past, people will not want us or make us desirable.
• 7:00
  Speaker 1: That engagement clip where I cried, I said that people
• 7:03
  Speaker 1: try to make me feel that way. But the thing is, Bro,
• 7:06
  Speaker 1: I got single friends that barely fuck niggas. Breon is
• 7:10
  Speaker 1: not even in a double digits, okay, And she talks
• 7:14
  Speaker 1: all the time about how it's harder to date, you
• 7:17
  Speaker 1: know what I mean. So I don't think that that
• 7:20
  Speaker 1: means anything. So let's take away the slutshaming out of
• 7:23
  Speaker 1: your head.
• 7:23
  Speaker 2: Yeah, there's definitely sluts shaming happening, like the fact that
• 7:26
  Speaker 2: you feel like you found the love of your life
• 7:30
  Speaker 2: and karma or the universe took your sexual endeavors and
• 7:37
  Speaker 2: brought about this consequence of this happening. I don't know
• 7:41
  Speaker 2: how old you are. You didn't share that in your letter.
• 7:44
  Speaker 2: I do believe that you will find a love. I mean,
• 7:47
  Speaker 2: I think I remember standing on a rooftop two days
• 7:53
  Speaker 2: before New York shut down. I was literally, you know,
• 7:58
  Speaker 2: in the year of turning thirty and felt like, oh
• 8:01
  Speaker 2: my god, if the world ends right now. I never
• 8:03
  Speaker 2: experienced love, and since then, I've experienced it with multiple people.
• 8:10
  Speaker 2: I've experienced someone not using my past against me. I've experienced,
• 8:14
  Speaker 2: you know, like talking it through. I've now found partners
• 8:18
  Speaker 2: where I could share my other partners with. You can't
• 8:21
  Speaker 2: go in feeling as though what you did was shameful.
• 8:26
  Speaker 2: I think that we all have to realize that this
• 8:28
  Speaker 2: world has billions and billions of people, and there is
• 8:30
  Speaker 2: somebody for you. This does suck. Not only were you
• 8:34
  Speaker 2: left hurt, so is he, but I also don't know
• 8:39
  Speaker 2: how you feel about it, and I don't know where
• 8:40
  Speaker 2: you fucked these hundred plus people. But do you know
• 8:42
  Speaker 2: how big the world is, bro? You could always move
• 8:44
  Speaker 2: and just create a new identity like and then no
• 8:46
  Speaker 2: one has the.
• 8:49
  Speaker 1: Whoa. Let's actually talk about what happened to me. I
• 8:53
  Speaker 1: haven't fucked a hundred people yet, but I found a
• 8:58
  Speaker 1: man that accepted me for exactly who I was. I
• 9:01
  Speaker 1: think the before me barely fucking bust a pussy hull
• 9:05
  Speaker 1: wouldn't nigga you know what I'm saying. Then, in reality,
• 9:09
  Speaker 1: you will always find people that could be your tribe
• 9:12
  Speaker 1: the way that you said to us, I can't tell
• 9:15
  Speaker 1: anybody else this. That isn't the case for my friend group.
• 9:18
  Speaker 1: That isn't the case maybe with Mandy's friend group. But
• 9:21
  Speaker 1: right now, that's the season of life you're in. That
• 9:23
  Speaker 1: doesn't mean that that's where it's going to be. You
• 9:26
  Speaker 1: will meet people that will talk about their sex stories
• 9:30
  Speaker 1: with you, laugh, even if the person's on his experience.
• 9:33
  Speaker 1: So you tell me more, Oh my god, his parents,
• 9:35
  Speaker 1: and they're gonna smile and laugh and think it's a
• 9:37
  Speaker 1: crazy time, just like you did. And it's not going
• 9:40
  Speaker 1: to be judgment. Not everybody's judging the person that you're dating.
• 9:45
  Speaker 1: To be honest with you, it would suck to date
• 9:47
  Speaker 1: anybody long term if you fuck their parents. Let's just
• 9:49
  Speaker 1: be honest.
• 9:50
  Speaker 2: Yeah no, but that's it was never gonna That was
• 9:54
  Speaker 2: not the love of your life because you fuck the parents.
• 9:58
  Speaker 2: Mm hmm, you fuck the again. I think having this
• 10:03
  Speaker 2: this podcast, we talked about, you know, not slutshaming, and
• 10:08
  Speaker 2: I mean, if you've even read No Holds Bard, we've
• 10:11
  Speaker 2: had moments of those. So this is a natural feeling.
• 10:14
  Speaker 2: I don't want you to feel like you're undeserving of
• 10:17
  Speaker 2: love or that love won't find you because you've explored sexually.
• 10:22
  Speaker 2: Don't worry about the body count. There's gonna be some
• 10:25
  Speaker 2: niggaya that don't care. Actually, you'll probably end up finding
• 10:30
  Speaker 2: someone with a bigger body count than you. All Right, well,
• 10:34
  Speaker 2: thank you for that update. We genuinely appreciate you. Now
• 10:45
  Speaker 2: we have another update, guys. This other update comes from
• 10:51
  Speaker 2: the wife. So the story of the husband who wrote
• 10:54
  Speaker 2: in about going to keto together. If you want to
• 11:01
  Speaker 2: reference that letter, go to the episode that released on
• 11:05
  Speaker 2: June twenty fourth. The title is my wife doesn't want
• 11:09
  Speaker 2: my sub to join us on a group trip.
• 11:11
  Speaker 1: Help y'all. That was probably one of my favorite ygd's
• 11:17
  Speaker 1: because Mandy and I had two different perspectives based on
• 11:21
  Speaker 1: our experiences is where we were both speaking from. And
• 11:28
  Speaker 1: I've sent that YGD to friends. Okay, tell me what
• 11:32
  Speaker 1: you think. Tell me what you think.
• 11:34
  Speaker 2: Being my boyfriend when we were in New Orleans, you
• 11:37
  Speaker 2: literally brought this up as like to get his idea
• 11:41
  Speaker 2: because he's going to be joining me at heto.
• 11:44
  Speaker 1: So I played it.
• 11:45
  Speaker 2: For my baby day.
• 11:48
  Speaker 1: And he only got to hear a little of it.
• 11:51
  Speaker 1: But one of the things he said was like, if
• 11:55
  Speaker 1: the shoe was on the other foot and you did
• 11:57
  Speaker 1: this to me with a third, I'd be lived. Like
• 12:01
  Speaker 1: at that point, then what space do we hold in
• 12:04
  Speaker 1: each other's lives?
• 12:05
  Speaker 2: That's what That's what my boyfriend said. He literally said,
• 12:10
  Speaker 2: Then they need to at this point, then they need
• 12:13
  Speaker 2: to be ready for the marasa and if they can't find.
• 12:16
  Speaker 1: This, yeah, I wonder if that made you change your opinion,
• 12:19
  Speaker 1: because when didn't. When I listen back, you said it didn't. No,
• 12:24
  Speaker 1: you you you sounded like because that thing that happened
• 12:28
  Speaker 1: between you and the couple from field was hella annoying,
• 12:32
  Speaker 1: but you sounded like you were defending that point, like
• 12:36
  Speaker 1: but this to me was different because I do think
• 12:41
  Speaker 1: there needs to be a respect level between the core
• 12:47
  Speaker 1: relationship and the people we allow to come in when
• 12:50
  Speaker 1: uncomfortability happens. And if we don't have that where I
• 12:56
  Speaker 1: can't decline something or I can't say something doesn't make
• 12:58
  Speaker 1: me feel good, you then are disrespecting me because the
• 13:03
  Speaker 1: sub also has the right to bow out too.
• 13:06
  Speaker 2: Well, that's I think. The way that I looked at it,
• 13:09
  Speaker 2: and me and him even talked about it is like
• 13:13
  Speaker 2: from the DOM perspective as well, so we lean more
• 13:16
  Speaker 2: into the BDSM explanation of it. Like he literally said
• 13:20
  Speaker 2: in the letter, I can't turn off being a DOM.
• 13:24
  Speaker 2: It's not something I can just turn off. And so
• 13:27
  Speaker 2: if the wife isn't willing to join him in that
• 13:30
  Speaker 2: BDSM space, if he she's now trying to cut that
• 13:33
  Speaker 2: off for whatever did it for he?
• 13:37
  Speaker 1: She only said it first? Okay, well, okay, okay, okay,
• 13:40
  Speaker 1: let's read a comment.
• 13:41
  Speaker 2: Find it, y'all's in the Patreon.
• 13:45
  Speaker 1: And maybe we have so many comments on this because
• 13:48
  Speaker 1: she replied to your body. So I'm going to read
• 13:50
  Speaker 1: most of the comments and spend time.
• 13:53
  Speaker 2: Let's read her first.
• 13:54
  Speaker 1: Yeah, yeah, I know, I'm going to read. I'm going
• 13:57
  Speaker 1: to read her reply, and then the comments that she
• 14:00
  Speaker 1: like kind of flagged. Okay, one moment, I'm pulling it up.
• 14:04
  Speaker 2: Oh I have it. I can I can read it. Oh,
• 14:07
  Speaker 2: I have it.
• 14:07
  Speaker 1: Are you ready or no?
• 14:08
  Speaker 2: Yeah, it's pull up.
• 14:10
  Speaker 1: Okay. The wife here first and foremost. I love my
• 14:14
  Speaker 1: husband and I love my best friend. I wouldn't trade
• 14:17
  Speaker 1: either of them for the world. We do not all
• 14:20
  Speaker 1: caps not book our travel together. We never have. I
• 14:24
  Speaker 1: found heto over twelve years ago, and I brought it
• 14:26
  Speaker 1: to my husband is something we could probably both enjoy.
• 14:29
  Speaker 1: Since twenty fourteen, my husband and I've been every single year,
• 14:31
  Speaker 1: sometime twice a year. In twenty eighteen, I told my
• 14:34
  Speaker 1: best friend about our trips and I gave her the
• 14:36
  Speaker 1: name of the group that we would be traveling with.
• 14:38
  Speaker 1: In twenty nineteen, she booked the trip on her own
• 14:40
  Speaker 1: with her significant other at the time. She has been
• 14:43
  Speaker 1: to Hito many times since, always booking on her own.
• 14:45
  Speaker 1: We are always not there at the same We're not
• 14:47
  Speaker 1: always there at the same time. My husband and I
• 14:49
  Speaker 1: have performed BDSM demonstrations on a few trips out of
• 14:54
  Speaker 1: the country, but they did not involve her. Once a
• 14:57
  Speaker 1: domin sub dynamic was established in twenty twenty five. For
• 15:00
  Speaker 1: with them, they've been in a dynamic for two years,
• 15:03
  Speaker 1: not three years. My best friend took part in our
• 15:07
  Speaker 1: very next performance demonstration at HTO, and I think this
• 15:11
  Speaker 1: is where the lines began to blur. After that trip,
• 15:14
  Speaker 1: I was looked at like I was being unreasonable because
• 15:17
  Speaker 1: I want our vacations to focus on us as a couple,
• 15:20
  Speaker 1: as they always have prior to this dynamic. And for
• 15:23
  Speaker 1: the people saying that's what itto's for, I beg to differ.
• 15:27
  Speaker 1: Heto is what you make it. We do not have
• 15:28
  Speaker 1: to go all the way to Hido for BDSM. We
• 15:30
  Speaker 1: practice it all the time here at home in our dungeon.
• 15:33
  Speaker 1: And let me say this. I did not tell my
• 15:35
  Speaker 1: husband he couldn't play with other people. I did not
• 15:38
  Speaker 1: tell him to turn off being a DOM. I did
• 15:40
  Speaker 1: not say that we can't have threesomes or foursomes. What
• 15:43
  Speaker 1: I did say is I don't want to see their
• 15:45
  Speaker 1: dynamic while on that vacation. They can take one week off,
• 15:49
  Speaker 1: it's not a huge ask. He sees her every single week.
• 15:52
  Speaker 1: I even suggested that he see her twice a week.
• 15:54
  Speaker 1: I don't care what I do care about is our
• 15:56
  Speaker 1: connection as a couple, and that's the only intimate relationship
• 15:59
  Speaker 1: that will be elebrating on the vacation. My husband and
• 16:02
  Speaker 1: I came to an understanding before the email was read
• 16:04
  Speaker 1: on the pod he will not indulge in the dynamic
• 16:06
  Speaker 1: while we are at hto That's all I asked for,
• 16:08
  Speaker 1: because honestly, I was ready to pull the plug and
• 16:09
  Speaker 1: stay my ass at home. And one last thing, I
• 16:11
  Speaker 1: don't have a sub I'll be taking applications. She also
• 16:14
  Speaker 1: takes domming very seriously and says I encouraged their dynamic
• 16:19
  Speaker 1: because I know they both needed it, and I knew
• 16:21
  Speaker 1: that my husband would not hurt her unless she asked
• 16:23
  Speaker 1: him to great.
• 16:25
  Speaker 2: Reply break reply. But I would say based on his letter,
• 16:32
  Speaker 2: there was clearly holes in their communication because he definitely
• 16:38
  Speaker 2: not only gave a lot of details, definitely felt like
• 16:43
  Speaker 2: trapped in what he was able and allowed to do.
• 16:46
  Speaker 2: So I do understand that this conversation the two of
• 16:50
  Speaker 2: you came to an understanding before the email was read.
• 16:54
  Speaker 2: It was then very clear based on this response that
• 16:57
  Speaker 2: y'all work on the same page and whatever you didn't want.
• 17:01
  Speaker 2: I don't think he was very clear with what those
• 17:03
  Speaker 2: boundaries were that you were setting forth forth.
• 17:06
  Speaker 1: For him, agreed, that's a great to me response because
• 17:15
  Speaker 1: hearing from the both of them, his email now reads
• 17:19
  Speaker 1: is a little bit of bitterness to me, like because
• 17:21
  Speaker 1: annoying annoyance where hers seemed to have more clarity, but
• 17:26
  Speaker 1: they probably weren't communicating that.
• 17:32
  Speaker 2: I mean, I guess, I don't know. I ain't gonna
• 17:34
  Speaker 2: hold you the way the wife popped in. This bitch
• 17:38
  Speaker 2: responded to every comment. I ain't like that. I don't know.
• 17:41
  Speaker 2: I just didn't like and wait, it was too much
• 17:45
  Speaker 2: of her like being in defense without there was no
• 17:49
  Speaker 2: acknowledgment here that there is a clear layer somewhere of
• 17:54
  Speaker 2: miscommunication within the relationship. I'm also knowing you have people
• 17:59
  Speaker 2: are used to well, I'm a wondering if there was
• 18:03
  Speaker 2: a conversation and none of these replies let me know
• 18:06
  Speaker 2: if I'm wrong. Did she say that the three of
• 18:11
  Speaker 2: them had a conversation. She is just defending herself. I
• 18:15
  Speaker 2: do also think it's really weird how she's identifying this
• 18:19
  Speaker 2: relationship because in one of the comments, Ruth said, I
• 18:25
  Speaker 2: do think there was a split between PolyAm and open relationships.
• 18:29
  Speaker 2: When Mandy and Weezy both debated their perspectives. She hopped
• 18:32
  Speaker 2: in there and said, we are not in a poly relationship,
• 18:35
  Speaker 2: so there is definitely some hierarchy here. Our marriage is
• 18:39
  Speaker 2: the primary relationship. Well, girl, you could have a high
• 18:42
  Speaker 2: archicle polyamorous relationship. You said, you're allowing this man to
• 18:46
  Speaker 2: see another woman weakly, another woman that you respect, that
• 18:50
  Speaker 2: you know of, that comes into your house. Like so
• 18:53
  Speaker 2: to me, even her jumping in here saying we are
• 18:56
  Speaker 2: not in a poly relationship, girl, I need you to
• 18:59
  Speaker 2: look up even more of these words and language around
• 19:02
  Speaker 2: these things, and then maybe that that's why there was
• 19:04
  Speaker 2: this lack of understanding with your partner when you were
• 19:08
  Speaker 2: talking about the BDSM element of this, because what you
• 19:12
  Speaker 2: are experiencing is absolutely a polyamorous relationship that is hierarchical.
• 19:18
  Speaker 2: You are the primary, but you also have allowed your
• 19:21
  Speaker 2: partner to build a relationship with someone where they see
• 19:25
  Speaker 2: them weekly. This ain't even awesome, Like we're Weezy, You
• 19:29
  Speaker 2: and your nigga be bringing a bitch into the bedroom
• 19:31
  Speaker 2: once a quarter. You might run into them and be like,
• 19:33
  Speaker 2: oh hey, that was fun. Thing on supporter is pretty low,
• 19:36
  Speaker 2: But even that's low. This your husband is seeing someone
• 19:40
  Speaker 2: else not weekly you respect and you just said you
• 19:45
  Speaker 2: love this person just as much as you love your husband.
• 19:48
  Speaker 1: Now, what's interesting about you saying that? So there's a
• 19:51
  Speaker 1: comment from GGC on our Patreon. If you guys want
• 19:54
  Speaker 1: to jump into patreon dot combacks slash Horrible Decisions, you
• 19:56
  Speaker 1: can leave comment.
• 19:57
  Speaker 2: A lot of good back and forth comments.
• 19:58
  Speaker 1: Are mainly on the video. There's only one common in audio,
• 20:01
  Speaker 1: but there's fifty comments on the video, and Gigi says,
• 20:04
  Speaker 1: I do not think creating a boundary should be looked
• 20:07
  Speaker 1: as discarding people's feelings and comfort levels change whether you're
• 20:10
  Speaker 1: monogamous or not traditional, and it's the primary partner's job
• 20:14
  Speaker 1: to listen and not discard the feelings. To be clear,
• 20:17
  Speaker 1: this isn't a three person relationship. There are three types
• 20:20
  Speaker 1: of relationships happening. The wife replied and said, we are
• 20:24
  Speaker 1: not Polly. We are three separ relationships. Meet him, nee, her,
• 20:28
  Speaker 1: her and him.
• 20:28
  Speaker 2: We do not listen to Polly.
• 20:30
  Speaker 1: Bro Have I agree with you. I do think there's
• 20:33
  Speaker 1: some Polly in this. I think that just because it's
• 20:38
  Speaker 1: sexual doesn't mean it's not Polly. Yeah.
• 20:43
  Speaker 2: I think I think that people people hate labels being attached.
• 20:47
  Speaker 2: I get it, you're married, he's your husband, but there's
• 20:51
  Speaker 2: one hundred thousand percent a polyamorous dynamic happening within the
• 20:56
  Speaker 2: three of you. And that's the other thing. Again, keep
• 21:00
  Speaker 2: separating BDSM as if there's not some level of an
• 21:03
  Speaker 2: emotional connection. When you are in a dom sub relationship,
• 21:08
  Speaker 2: there's even more communication happening, there's more awareness happening, there's
• 21:12
  Speaker 2: more like it also becomes intimate in a sense. And
• 21:17
  Speaker 2: me and my partner talked about that because he told
• 21:19
  Speaker 2: me how he was recently in a dom relationship with
• 21:23
  Speaker 2: a woman that extended outside of the bedroom, and he realized.
• 21:27
  Speaker 1: How wait, I see why Mandy annoyed or her robers
• 21:31
  Speaker 1: read this from klanation. Mandy was applying her own feelings
• 21:35
  Speaker 1: and experiences here. She's spoken eye statements. The wife replied, Oh,
• 21:40
  Speaker 1: then she said his wife should and without should and
• 21:43
  Speaker 1: without input of their secondary relationship, be able to create
• 21:46
  Speaker 1: and modify. The wife said absolutely. What my husband failed
• 21:49
  Speaker 1: to disclose is that him and his sub agreed if
• 21:51
  Speaker 1: the dynamics started to affect the two original relationships, which
• 21:54
  Speaker 1: is mine and his or mine in her as, they
• 21:56
  Speaker 1: would end it. Someone hurt Mandy but it wasn't us.
• 22:00
  Speaker 2: Another one, hold on, even hear this out, hear this out.
• 22:04
  Speaker 2: I don't often agree with Mandy. It's emotionally irresponsible to
• 22:08
  Speaker 2: not have a conversation with the third. Do you know
• 22:11
  Speaker 2: what the wife responded? She is not a unicorn or
• 22:14
  Speaker 2: a third She is my best friend. She is his sub.
• 22:17
  Speaker 2: Her feelings are always taking into account, and it wasn't here. Bro,
• 22:21
  Speaker 2: there's a dynamic where he wait.
• 22:23
  Speaker 1: Wait, Mandy, Mandy, serious question, Hold on, wait, wait, stop
• 22:26
  Speaker 1: specific How were the subs feelings not taken into account?
• 22:31
  Speaker 1: And let me finish? How can I express something makes
• 22:34
  Speaker 1: me uncomfortable without being a carpet If I'm uncomfortable, how
• 22:40
  Speaker 1: am I not taking into account someone else by expressing
• 22:44
  Speaker 1: what I would not like? She literally said, nothing with
• 22:47
  Speaker 1: them has to end, just not here. How did she
• 22:49
  Speaker 1: not take the subs feelings into account because they're gonna
• 22:52
  Speaker 1: hang out there, they're just not engaging invidious.
• 22:54
  Speaker 2: Well, it's not even the subs feelings. If you remember
• 22:56
  Speaker 2: the man's the man's email, he said how extremely hard
• 23:03
  Speaker 2: it would be for his sub to be there playing
• 23:06
  Speaker 2: with other people and being domned by others. So she's
• 23:10
  Speaker 2: also not considering the fact that even though they get
• 23:13
  Speaker 2: to play weekly, the husband is like, that's gonna be
• 23:17
  Speaker 2: really hard for me to see her playing with others.
• 23:19
  Speaker 2: I don't want to see that. So there's he said
• 23:22
  Speaker 2: that in the email. Oh I'm not gonna hold you bitch.
• 23:26
  Speaker 2: So here's the thing she's now saying. This trip is
• 23:30
  Speaker 2: mine and my husband's annual hero trip, not a throutle trip.
• 23:33
  Speaker 2: Trust me, the sole purpose of this trip is not
• 23:35
  Speaker 2: for them to practice their dynamic. They practice their dynamic
• 23:39
  Speaker 2: every day with habits and once a week in person.
• 23:42
  Speaker 2: So that's why I said to me, it is emotionally
• 23:46
  Speaker 2: irresponsible at this point for the three of them to
• 23:49
  Speaker 2: not have a conversation because clearly your husband was expressing
• 23:53
  Speaker 2: how he's gonna feel seeing his sub on this trip
• 23:57
  Speaker 2: playing with other people. So like there's a there people's
• 24:01
  Speaker 2: feelings them.
• 24:02
  Speaker 1: Wait wait, wait, Mandy, hold on, she is to worry.
• 24:05
  Speaker 2: About she should not to worry about how her man feels.
• 24:09
  Speaker 1: Yes, so then let me make sure you get to
• 24:12
  Speaker 1: beat up on your sub even though it makes me
• 24:15
  Speaker 1: feel uncomfortable. So she don't have You don't have to
• 24:16
  Speaker 1: hear what another nigga doing it.
• 24:17
  Speaker 2: You now you no, no, no, no, no, I'm not telling
• 24:20
  Speaker 2: you the alternative. The alternative, like I said, is for
• 24:23
  Speaker 2: them to be emotionally responsible and have the three conversation
• 24:27
  Speaker 2: and find somewhere, find a middle ground where everybody would
• 24:31
  Speaker 2: be pleased. Or maybe this now isn't the trip. Someone
• 24:34
  Speaker 2: shouldn't go on the trip. The fact that she even
• 24:35
  Speaker 2: wrote in her letter they didn't, they didn't loll get
• 24:38
  Speaker 2: together though regardless she's gonna be there. I don't care.
• 24:41
  Speaker 2: I'm all I'm saying is the three of them, if
• 24:45
  Speaker 2: that's your best friend that you love, and you love
• 24:48
  Speaker 2: your husband, I'm just saying, the three of you should
• 24:50
  Speaker 2: have found a ground to where all of you get
• 24:53
  Speaker 2: to enjoy this trip together because you setting these boundaries.
• 24:57
  Speaker 2: Your husband wrote into our motherfucking pick it said that
• 25:02
  Speaker 2: he wouldn't enjoy seeing his sub in the dynamic that
• 25:06
  Speaker 2: you would essentially be setting up because he would not
• 25:09
  Speaker 2: be allowed to play with that sub. So what I'm
• 25:12
  Speaker 2: saying is no one's gonna have a good time at
• 25:15
  Speaker 2: this point. Your husband may have a little bit of
• 25:18
  Speaker 2: resentment now going and having to see his sub play
• 25:21
  Speaker 2: with other people. Your sub, which is also your best friend,
• 25:24
  Speaker 2: is gonna be there and not be able to play
• 25:25
  Speaker 2: with the person that she plays with weekly. Bitch? What
• 25:29
  Speaker 2: if the sub goes there and hates everybody there and
• 25:31
  Speaker 2: now is mad that for the five or six days
• 25:34
  Speaker 2: she's there, she can't even play with the nigga that
• 25:36
  Speaker 2: she plays with on a weekly basis.
• 25:38
  Speaker 1: I gotta be honest, I don't see the big deal.
• 25:42
  Speaker 2: Al I'm saying is well, the big deal is that
• 25:44
  Speaker 2: in this dynamic, only the wife gets what she wants,
• 25:47
  Speaker 2: and now it's leaving the husband and the sub with
• 25:49
  Speaker 2: the potential to not have a good.
• 25:50
  Speaker 1: TIGA's for example, right we're getting married right now, we
• 25:56
  Speaker 1: have two separate, respective homes, and I know we're running
• 25:58
  Speaker 1: shirt on time, but.
• 26:01
  Speaker 2: We not bet this is this is bonus they can
• 26:03
  Speaker 2: listen to as long as they want.
• 26:06
  Speaker 1: We don't we isn't me we we me me. I'm
• 26:08
  Speaker 1: just saying. If I then said to him, hey, I
• 26:12
  Speaker 1: don't want you leave in our house to go sleep
• 26:14
  Speaker 1: with someone, and he's like, well I have to do it.
• 26:18
  Speaker 1: Am I supposed to respect?
• 26:20
  Speaker 2: Leaving your house to sleep someone is way different than
• 26:23
  Speaker 2: everyone spending thousands of dollars. They're hard earned dollars to
• 26:27
  Speaker 2: go to a resort together, youdn't play it together. It's
• 26:31
  Speaker 2: all books and they're all going to be there, So
• 26:35
  Speaker 2: so maybe the wife should have told her best friend
• 26:37
  Speaker 2: this ship and the trip and the group and all
• 26:39
  Speaker 2: the shit. Girl, goodbye, you're saying goodbye again.
• 26:44
  Speaker 1: All my mom want to make this hamburger.
• 26:46
  Speaker 2: And she wants to We're absolutely in a polyamorous dynamic.
• 26:50
  Speaker 2: I don't know. I don't feel as though you are
• 26:53
  Speaker 2: considering the other two parties feelings and this, and unless
• 26:56
  Speaker 2: you paid for the whole goddamn trip, I understand why
• 27:01
  Speaker 2: both your sub and your husband may want to enjoy
• 27:05
  Speaker 2: the three to five thousand dollars they spent going to
• 27:08
  Speaker 2: Motherfuckinghito for Labor Day weekend. Choco bliss. Okay, Now I
• 27:13
  Speaker 2: ain't gonna hold your wife. I'm gonna see you with
• 27:16
  Speaker 2: September Labor Day weekend and face to be like, hey,
• 27:21
  Speaker 2: woman in a polyamorous relationship, because that's what you ain't got,
• 27:25
  Speaker 2: damn it. I said what I said, and you know what,
• 27:28
  Speaker 2: We're gonna have a good time. But I hope before
• 27:32
  Speaker 2: this trip you do consider the feelings of both of them,
• 27:36
  Speaker 2: and if you do respect your friend and respect your hubbit,
• 27:40
  Speaker 2: your husband and this union that they formed. The three
• 27:44
  Speaker 2: of you need to have a conversation, not just you
• 27:47
  Speaker 2: and your husband. The three of you agree, and I beg,
• 27:51
  Speaker 2: I bege. I'm saying ten toes down on that one.
• 27:54
  Speaker 1: No, the three of them having a conversation. Is I
• 27:56
  Speaker 1: agree with you one hundred percent?
• 27:58
  Speaker 2: Yeah, you just that's.
• 28:00
  Speaker 1: After the central relationship, the boundaries expressed. Then let's all
• 28:07
  Speaker 1: have a convo once he digests that and they know
• 28:09
  Speaker 1: how to approach it without being messy.
• 28:11
  Speaker 2: Agreed, Yeah, because you don't want either of them to
• 28:13
  Speaker 2: start resenting you and start lying to you. Like, let's
• 28:16
  Speaker 2: keep the floor open to everyone expressing their feelings and
• 28:20
  Speaker 2: what they want out of this trip. And depending on
• 28:23
  Speaker 2: how much each of y'all spit on this trip, there
• 28:25
  Speaker 2: should be a way that everyone kind of gets to
• 28:27
  Speaker 2: enjoy this. Here we go. Here's the way too. When
• 28:30
  Speaker 2: you bring up the conversation, see if there's any else,
• 28:35
  Speaker 2: what if the sub gets there it hates every nigga
• 28:38
  Speaker 2: there or doesn't feel no, oh well is crazy? That's
• 28:43
  Speaker 2: oh well, her nigga got ye that nigga though that's
• 28:48
  Speaker 2: not her domb o, that's a dom is your nigga.
• 28:52
  Speaker 1: Manny, this is crazy. Somebody shows up with their wife
• 28:56
  Speaker 1: and now we're really sitting here tight.
• 28:58
  Speaker 2: And she's wanting. I guarantee you, if the sub is
• 29:01
  Speaker 2: out here dating, she has to acknowledge that she sees
• 29:04
  Speaker 2: a nigga weekly, so anyone else is gonna reference that
• 29:08
  Speaker 2: Dom's her nigga. Bro, we gotta stop separating this BDSM
• 29:12
  Speaker 2: from Polly to whether they niggas or not. Done. If
• 29:17
  Speaker 2: you're a problem with it's like with you all day, y'all,
• 29:20
  Speaker 2: y'all be fighting with these labels. Bro, in the outside world.
• 29:25
  Speaker 2: If I go out and tell a nigga, listen, I
• 29:28
  Speaker 2: see somebody once a week. We you know, we play,
• 29:32
  Speaker 2: but I see them once a week. Bro, I'm not single.
• 29:36
  Speaker 2: No one is gonna consider me single if I let
• 29:38
  Speaker 2: them know that I got a nigga I see and
• 29:41
  Speaker 2: fuck on once a week. Huh Do you know for
• 29:47
  Speaker 2: two years and I've been seeing this man for two years?
• 29:50
  Speaker 2: Are you kidding me? Were in a two year relationship?
• 29:53
  Speaker 2: Mab girl?
• 29:54
  Speaker 1: Now you sound crazy. Now you sound very situation shit.
• 29:58
  Speaker 2: Be crazy. It's situationship because they actually claim each other
• 30:02
  Speaker 2: and have a dynamic. They claim each other as dom
• 30:04
  Speaker 2: and sub. Sorry, it's not boyfriend girlfriend dom. It's still
• 30:09
  Speaker 2: a relationship, bro.
• 30:10
  Speaker 1: Mandy, hang up, the hang up, Hang up the motherfucker
• 30:12
  Speaker 1: zoom because I'll tidy.
• 30:14
  Speaker 2: No. You just you sit here getting sprung into these
• 30:17
  Speaker 2: labels too. A dom sub is a relationship. It's not
• 30:21
  Speaker 2: a situationship.
• 30:21
  Speaker 1: It's a roman said it wasn't a relationship, but it's not.
• 30:25
  Speaker 2: Not considering this as a relationship, and that's crazy.
• 30:27
  Speaker 1: I'm not considering it as the primary relationship.
• 30:31
  Speaker 2: The primary I never said that. Now you're adding words
• 30:34
  Speaker 2: in my mouth. Clearly the husband and wife are the primary.
• 30:37
  Speaker 2: But this is a high archicle polyamorous relationship where the
• 30:41
  Speaker 2: second relationship happens to be a dom sub relationship.
• 30:46
  Speaker 1: We're gonna post this on YouTube. We're gonna post this
• 30:49
  Speaker 1: on you.
• 30:49
  Speaker 2: That's fine.
• 30:50
  Speaker 1: Did I need more people to tell you you're a
• 30:52
  Speaker 1: cuckoo bird? Just hang a cuckoo.
• 30:53
  Speaker 2: Bird who just literally sits here and hates that anyone
• 30:56
  Speaker 2: wants to be Polly. These are too consenting, it's happening.
• 31:01
  Speaker 1: Anybody wants to be bothering.
• 31:02
  Speaker 2: You are absolutely anti Polly bro here every time we
• 31:06
  Speaker 2: say that. Let me tell you, I can't stand how
• 31:08
  Speaker 2: people be using this poly work. You don't like the labels, bro,
• 31:12
  Speaker 2: you fucking hate labels, But they're just like the wife.
• 31:15
  Speaker 2: The wife hates labels too.
• 31:17
  Speaker 1: The only thing college you need to bring that bitch.
• 31:21
  Speaker 2: We're bringing all three of them on the show. I
• 31:23
  Speaker 2: don't care.
• 31:23
  Speaker 1: I'm gonna send the car for him.
• 31:24
  Speaker 2: Hold on, I'm gonna write a bigger bag and I'm
• 31:26
  Speaker 2: not playing with you. If I'm not talking a letter,
• 31:30
  Speaker 2: send it to decisions Pod at gmail dot com. And
• 31:33
  Speaker 2: if we read your letter aloud and you have an update,
• 31:37
  Speaker 2: send that ship all over to We want to.
• 31:40
  Speaker 1: Go in that.
• 31:43
  Speaker 2: Ship, all right, guys, Well, thank you for tuning in
• 31:46
  Speaker 2: to yet another live Gdpult class hop. And you know what,
• 31:51
  Speaker 2: debate us in the comments. We love to read it.
• 31:55
  Speaker 1: Bye bye, conve Prituses Indu the bun between the