Latest / Flail to the Face: A "Compatible with Mörk Borg" Actual Play Podcast / Season Two, Episode Eight: A Bug's Strife
Transcript
- 0:00Greeting scum, and welcome to Flail the Face.
- 0:02I am your flail Meister, Kevin, and I'm here with these
- 0:05degenerates of the wastelands. Hi, I'm Thomas and I'm playing
- 0:11Axel. What is up?
- 0:13I am Tom, I'm playing the amazing Hank.
- 0:15I'm not a Tom and I'm playing Morgan.
- 0:19But who are you? I'm Mr. Paschke.
- 0:21You are Mr. Paschke. Well, these guys got a lot of
- 0:24bullshit ahead of them, so might as well throw them into it and
- 0:26flail, flail, flail. So last we left you guys, you
- 0:57left the camp with Tunguska and we're headed towards the
- 1:00Bloodhorn oil fields where Zoya was, which Tunguska is under the
- 1:05impression that this might be the demon that she's looking
- 1:08for. So she's hauling your asses with
- 1:10you guys are driving. She's going over how she feels
- 1:13about Throckmorton and how she got to be where she is and why
- 1:18she's doing this. This is her home world.
- 1:21She's looking to save it from these demons.
- 1:23When Morgan had to take a potty break pull off, you find a gas
- 1:27station. Some of you get in there, some
- 1:29of you are preaching to the great beyond, and some of you
- 1:34are being creepy little peepers. When Axel, as he goes into the
- 1:38gas station, finds that in the back, there are some very
- 1:41unsavory, very disgusting looking characters back there
- 1:44wreaking havoc, and he decides that he's just going to be a man
- 1:48of action and launch a grenade at them.
- 1:51As this happens, all hell breaks loose.
- 1:54You guys get into a scuffle and a few of you are not doing too
- 1:59well. I am at 0 as am I.
- 2:02So after you guys dispatch with the Skraelings, both Axel and
- 2:08Hank are not doing too good. They get drug to the car and
- 2:11that's where we are right now. Morgan, you are tending to both
- 2:17Hank and Axel in the back of the car while Tunguska is trying to
- 2:22compose herself from her health spot on form.
- 2:25The spikes are starting to retract into her body.
- 2:28She's partially clothed now and. Disappointment.
- 2:33She has punched the gas and she is headed the fuck out of town.
- 2:37She looks back at you, Morgan, and she says in the box at your
- 2:42guys's feet is a Med kit. Take care of these guys.
- 2:45I need you guys at tip top shape.
- 2:47And she's kind of reaching back over the seat, pointing at a box
- 2:50there and opening the box. You do have a Med kit that has 3
- 2:55doses in it. OK, so I should take care of
- 2:58myself first to make sure I can best take care of them.
- 3:00I probably have like a hit point of damage right?
- 3:03I should heal me. Well, absolutely.
- 3:06No. OK, so who?
- 3:08I guess since I got three, who looks the worst?
- 3:11They're both at 0 They're. Both at zero, yeah.
- 3:13We're both. Fucked.
- 3:15Who do I like the best? It's a question only you can
- 3:18answer. What do I D20?
- 3:20Am I rolling the D20 to heal? It just says when you use it
- 3:24they get D6 hit points back so. Okay, so you just use a use.
- 3:28Yeah, it's just a use. All right, so I got 3 Gambino.
- 3:31You're gonna get the extra 1, buddy.
- 3:33Okay, cool. I based this off of nothing, all
- 3:36right? So I got 2 fives and a four.
- 3:38So you get a 5, you get a nine. How many hit points do you guys
- 3:42have well? I have. 11.
- 3:45Nailed it. Oh so so your cap is 1 so I
- 3:51don't I can use that other one on myself and they're.
- 3:52All just failed. Wait a minute now.
- 3:55Sure. Yeah, OK.
- 3:57Yeah, cool. And then I'm back up to five.
- 4:00Fantastic. Yay me.
- 4:02You're all at one. Yeah.
- 4:04Yeah, idiots. Wait a roll so low on your
- 4:07character sheets guys. Why don't you randomly generate
- 4:101 like I did and get good hit points?
- 4:13I don't know, I wanted to flavor.
- 4:17All right, so as he injects the both of you with these syringes,
- 4:21you guys wake up in a panic. What the fuck in hell?
- 4:29Morning. Welcome back.
- 4:32Yeah. You guys wake up in the back of
- 4:34the car with Morgan standing over you holding 2 syringes.
- 4:37I look directly at Morgan, panicked.
- 4:40If you're back here, who's driving?
- 4:42I'd like try to like scramble. He he just puts his finger like
- 4:50down your face, starting from your forehead, going all the way
- 4:52down. Don't worry about that.
- 4:53But you don't have to worry about that.
- 4:54OK, the moment he gets to my collarbone, I'm slapping that
- 4:57hand away. Do you wait until he gets to the
- 4:58collarbone? Yes, yeah, to the all the way to
- 5:00the collarbone. OK.
- 5:02And then like just no they. Always see my congregant?
- 5:05Where? Where's my bad bastard?
- 5:07Oh, he's didn't make it. Oh, son of a bitch.
- 5:11Oh damn it. As you say that Tunguska looks
- 5:14back, it's like, yeah, you guys got your asses handed to you.
- 5:16I don't know how this is going to work out.
- 5:19Trying to get Zoya now, but I need you guys focus now.
- 5:23We're about 50 miles away from where we need to be and we need
- 5:27everybody on the job with their head straight.
- 5:29Side note, welcome back to the land of the Living, YouTube.
- 5:32Thank you, It's good to be back. I like stretch my hand out
- 5:35towards Hank. You notice in the palm of his
- 5:39hand. I have an eye growing out of it
- 5:42now. What in the fucking hell?
- 5:44Oh, didn't see that coming. Did you see Pan's Labyrinth or
- 5:48something? What the hell?
- 5:50Nothing. Anyway, yeah, ready up.
- 5:52No, no, no, no, no, no, no, God damn it.
- 5:55Why the hell do you have a eyeball in your fucking hand?
- 5:58Anyway, so and I'm going to like start climbing over the back
- 6:02seat till I get into the front seat.
- 6:05You can still hear me, motherfucker.
- 6:08Right, so as you guys are making your way down this long dusty
- 6:12Rd. Chingasca looking very focused
- 6:18and still trying to compose herself and cover up after her
- 6:22shedding of her flesh, she's focused on the mission at hand.
- 6:26Now she's like, all right, now listen, we're going to be
- 6:27heading out to a Black Star brand gas station out in the
- 6:31middle of nowhere. It looks just like a normal gas
- 6:33station, kind of like the one we just blasted by.
- 6:36But, and I know this because I've been out here, there's more
- 6:39than meets the eye. Transformers much like that, but
- 6:42not really. They are.
- 6:45Gobots were the originals and the Transformers stole it from
- 6:48them. But that's neither here nor
- 6:49there. Not only is it a fuelling
- 6:51station, but they've got some shady weird shit going on back
- 6:56behind. When we get there, I am going to
- 6:59drop you guys off around the back and I will make it to the
- 7:02guard station at the front gate and I will create a distraction
- 7:08so you guys can get in. I know for a fact that there is
- 7:10a door in the back that you can sneak in.
- 7:12I know there's cameras everywhere.
- 7:14It's got a gated area that goes around the full perimeter of the
- 7:18facility. I hate to say this, but I'm
- 7:20going to have to trust that you guys will find a way to get in
- 7:22and I will meet up with you guys inside.
- 7:25Question. Yeah, I don't know what the
- 7:27distractions going to be. You're going to have to trust
- 7:29me. If we're all going to finish
- 7:31this job and make it out alive, you're going to have to trust
- 7:33me. All right.
- 7:35So once we get in there, we're going to find Zoya, we're going
- 7:39to bring her back and we're going to get answers out of her
- 7:42and she's going back to hole. All.
- 7:44Right. So any other questions?
- 7:46Anybody have anything they want to bring up?
- 7:48Anybody want to talk about the eye in Axel's hand?
- 7:50Yeah, why do you have a God damn eye?
- 7:54If you care so much about Gobots, what about Hydrox versus
- 7:56Oreos personally? Eye drops, person.
- 8:00Upper Newmanos. Same.
- 8:02OK ohh the I think. Yeah, Axel has just been staring
- 8:06at her as her skin has been rippling and the moment she's
- 8:09like, anyone got any other questions?
- 8:11And he's just like, I'm sorry, what?
- 8:14I have a question, can I look for like another sign?
- 8:17Because even though I have a HP of one I have a stop sign that I
- 8:20could use or a throat sign that I could use to deflect like one
- 8:24hit against me. OK, can I just like scrap a
- 8:26minute? I mean, we're on the road right
- 8:28now, but if you see something, you know what, with a presence
- 8:33test as we're driving by, I'm sure you can convince her to
- 8:36stop. Presence is a + 1.
- 8:37Get it? That's neat.
- 8:39All right, She is going far too fast for you to catch any sort
- 8:43of debris out there that catches your eye.
- 8:45So unfortunately, nothing that you can see at the moment.
- 8:48But damn it, maybe when you get in there you can scavenge
- 8:51something. I thought I saw a coyote chasing
- 8:53a roadrider on a rocket, but I don't know Looney Tunes.
- 8:56I don't get it. That's all folks.
- 8:59Oh yeah, I get that. OK, but what's with the hand?
- 9:02Yeah. What's with the goddamn hand?
- 9:05Can you see out of it what happens if I poke it?
- 9:07Can it cry? As you're reaching your finger
- 9:10across, I knock it away like yes, I could.
- 9:13It hurts and I could see it's really disorienting to do.
- 9:17Do you have special gloves that are also sunglasses?
- 9:20No. Maybe you could make some.
- 9:23Clearly, there's a market for it, at least one.
- 9:25Yeah, at least for one person. It's a niche market.
- 9:28Now and like he starts kind of just like concentrate and you
- 9:31see it close and then it seals itself shut.
- 9:35Oh wow. Well, that's freaky.
- 9:37Wow. And as you look over, you can
- 9:38see Tengkoska, one hand on the steering wheel the other way and
- 9:41just kind of holding her head, just in disbelief that this is
- 9:44the crew that she's gathered to take care of this.
- 9:47Listen here lady, I know we may not look like much.
- 9:51No, you don't, but. We come through, we got here.
- 9:55Yes, and if memory serves me, you guys are only here because I
- 10:00took care of most everything that was going on.
- 10:02Either way, it's. Fine.
- 10:03Oh, tomato. OK, fine.
- 10:05Either way, either way, we need to focus and you get our heads
- 10:08straight. And as she's saying this, you
- 10:10can tell that it's starting to get dark.
- 10:12The sun is starting to set in the horizon.
- 10:15She lets you know that you guys are still roughly about 2530
- 10:19miles out. There's still a bit of time,
- 10:20probably about in 30 minutes until and you get to the area
- 10:24that you need to be at. What?
- 10:25Sort of armaments. Are we walking into here?
- 10:27How many people are there? What are they armed with?
- 10:30It's more than just a gas station.
- 10:31There's guards with assault rifles.
- 10:33There's. Son of.
- 10:35A Yeah, this is this is not going to be easy.
- 10:37So it's got a Waffle House on the inside.
- 10:40It does have a Waffle House on the inside.
- 10:42Oh God damn Waffle House. I spy with my little eyes
- 10:45something that's color brown. The ship.
- 10:47Is it dust? You got it.
- 10:49Good job. Your turn.
- 10:50I don't want to play. Do I guess?
- 10:53So she kind of runs down in her brief time that she's been
- 10:56there, that there's a lot of armed guards, there's a lot of
- 10:59rooms in this gas station area that is blocked off or heavily
- 11:04guarded, lot of security cameras.
- 11:07She does let you know that on one of the side of the facility
- 11:10there's a mass grave that a lot of these Skraelings have been
- 11:13scouring through and feeding on the bodies.
- 11:17Why there are bodies out there, she has no idea.
- 11:19It's a wasteland, It's a thing that happens.
- 11:22But there's a lot of heavily armored personnel carriers, big
- 11:26hulking vehicles out here. It's like a military presence in
- 11:30this gas station guarding the station.
- 11:33But there's something else. And she just, she doesn't know
- 11:35exactly what else is going on here.
- 11:37And she? So this is just like far above
- 11:41your run-of-the-mill wasteland mutants.
- 11:43Yeah. So like, I'm just going to go
- 11:45and be like, OK. They are far too organized for
- 11:49being the people that almost killed Axel and I.
- 11:52These people know what the fuck they're doing.
- 11:53Yes, they do, and I have a feeling that Zoya has got
- 11:56something to do with this. I don't know if she's.
- 11:58Expecting us? I don't know if she's expecting
- 12:01us to tell you the truth. We may be walking into a trap,
- 12:04but I do know that I need her so I can complete my mission.
- 12:09And you guys are you're going to help.
- 12:12And so as she says that, you guys go over a small Ridge as
- 12:17the sun is setting and overlook a sprawling gas station with oil
- 12:21fields back behind it. You know, the big oil derricks
- 12:24in the back. But you see a decent sized
- 12:26facility. And as you guys Crest the Ridge
- 12:29there, she slows down and surveys the scene.
- 12:32She tells you, OK, we're going to creep around the back.
- 12:36I'm going to drop you guys off right next to the mass grave off
- 12:40to the South side of the facility.
- 12:41It's not going to be the easiest thing.
- 12:43I would try to be as out of sight as much as you can.
- 12:46And I would suggest trying to sneak around the back of the
- 12:49facility. I know there's a door in the
- 12:51back, just don't know how heavily monitored it is 0.
- 12:56Great. Well, you can count on us.
- 12:58We are professionals. I certainly hope so.
- 13:01We know what the hell we're doing.
- 13:03Axel, she looks over to you and she says open up the glove box
- 13:07and in the glove box she hands you a crudely drawn map of the
- 13:12facility, which I've LinkedIn the Discord as far as that she's
- 13:15seen. OK, at the bottom there is going
- 13:18to be the mass grave. Up towards the top right is
- 13:21going to be that door she was Speaking of.
- 13:23There's other little bits and bobs that we'll get to when we
- 13:26get to it. She looks back at you guys.
- 13:28I'm going to be dropping you guys at the grave.
- 13:30There's going to be more of those tumor filled creatures
- 13:33that we saw. I would keep an eye out for
- 13:35them. We know how to take them out
- 13:36this time, so. I know that at least when I drew
- 13:41this, there's a a hole in the fence on the north side that
- 13:44might be an easier way to get in if the back door is locked or
- 13:48monitored. But I'm going to be at the guard
- 13:49post, which is the first one here, number 1, and I will
- 13:53create a diversion so that you guys can get in relatively
- 13:56unnoticed. Are there any questions before
- 13:59we make our descent into possibly all of our own deaths?
- 14:03It's great. What deals do you think they
- 14:05have on snacks? Do you think they have like
- 14:08roller meat for like 2 for 3:50? I want I usually don't go from
- 14:13eating any of these spaces. I don't know.
- 14:16He's he's right. Roller meat is that's where it's
- 14:18at. All of your nutrition in one
- 14:20spot. No, I don't need that processed
- 14:24garbage. It's not good for you.
- 14:25Poison your mind. What do you eat here?
- 14:28I'll make my own meat, make my own food.
- 14:30Out of Do I even want to know out of what?
- 14:32You know whatever is lying about.
- 14:34He eats poop. But the the most important thing
- 14:37is you cook it on a grill that's fueled by propane and propane
- 14:42accessories. You're grilling poop.
- 14:44I'm not grilling poop. But that's what he just said.
- 14:47You grill poop. But that's because you eat poop,
- 14:49Axel says. A thing doesn't mean it's
- 14:51correct. He's grilling poop.
- 14:53I'm not grilling poop. Actually didn't say at that
- 14:56time. I make my own processed meat
- 14:59burgers from various animals, possibly people and.
- 15:03Poop. At least I know where my meals
- 15:04come from. Poop, poop.
- 15:06From someones asshole. Not poop.
- 15:08Y'all are weird. You're the one eating poop.
- 15:12You're the ones obsessed with eating poop.
- 15:13I'm not. Why don't you?
- 15:15You're the ones that like, how about y'all be true to yourself.
- 15:17Maybe you want to eat poop. That's your bliss and I'm gonna
- 15:20let you have that. Me.
- 15:22I make my own food that I find and salvage from the wilderness.
- 15:27It's from poop, isn't it? It is not from poop.
- 15:30How many chunks are in it? There's a slow nod from Axel.
- 15:34And as Axel makes this slow nod, I I don't want to talk about
- 15:39poop anymore. I I concur.
- 15:41Maybe you just not bringing it up.
- 15:43God damn it. And then she punches it and
- 15:44heads down the road. Good luck.
- 15:47You guys get to just beyond where this mass grave is.
- 15:50You see that there's just a large pit.
- 15:52You see some movement in there and you can tell that it's those
- 15:56creatures that you guys fought earlier.
- 15:57Oh great, the Skraelings are in there and they're ripping apart.
- 16:01We're scrailing it up. They're skrailing it up, ripping
- 16:03meat from bone. It looks like there's human,
- 16:05looks like there's some sort of large animals.
- 16:08It looks like there might be other Skraelings in there.
- 16:10There's a lot going on in there. I'm going to can we roll press
- 16:15to see like how? I think it's in our best
- 16:18interest to try and circle this pit and not get the attention of
- 16:22of those. I want to roll presents to see
- 16:24like how invested these Skraelings are and whatever the
- 16:27hell they're doing. We see what maybe we could like,
- 16:29you know? Anybody who wants to roll this,
- 16:30go ahead. Shit, that's an 11th.
- 16:33OK, anybody else want to roll to see how?
- 16:36I got dirt in my eyes. Why don't you use the eye on
- 16:40your palm? Help you save. 18.
- 16:43OK, you're still trying to regain your senses after damn
- 16:47near being dead. You see that the Skraelings out
- 16:51in the pile, they're, they're kind of just moving around, not
- 16:55paying attention. But Morgan, you see that they're
- 16:57very invested in digging through these piles, trying to scavenge
- 17:01as much food as possible. There's not very many of them
- 17:05over there. There's probably about three
- 17:07that are going through there that you can tell being as it's
- 17:10dark out now. So it's kind of hard to see, I
- 17:12mean, unless you have an eyeball on your hand.
- 17:14I. Don't anymore.
- 17:16Oh OK, but they don't seem to be paying you guys any mind.
- 17:20They're very invested in trying to scavenge food.
- 17:22So their attention is not on us. Not at the moment, no.
- 17:27So with this crudely drawn map we have, I say we circle around,
- 17:32follow the fence and then try to get to that back door.
- 17:35Like what number is that, 11111? OK, Yeah, OK.
- 17:39That makes sense. Yeah.
- 17:41OK, be sneaky. OK, yeah, got to be sneaky with
- 17:44this, especially since Thomas, you and I have one HP whilst we
- 17:48are sneaking. I'm just going to also roll
- 17:50presents again to see if I could find a stop sign or something.
- 17:53OK. Oh, that's a 13.
- 17:55All right. So as you are starting to walk
- 17:58the perimeter of the fence line, do you do notice that there is
- 18:01the back door of an old small car?
- 18:06Cool, I will take that and that'll be like my little shield
- 18:10so I can use that to deflect one attack, but after that it's only
- 18:14one use. It's done.
- 18:15OK, there's bits of trash and everything kind of littering
- 18:18around the perimeter as well. You do notice that there are a
- 18:21lot of floodlights illuminating certain areas, not so much along
- 18:26the fence line, but they're out past the property.
- 18:29Is there a radio antenna? It doesn't say, but you know
- 18:34what? Yeah, I'm going to say there's a
- 18:35radio antenna there. All right, I'm thinking maybe
- 18:39the amazing Hank needs to help a little sermon.
- 18:42What if I like tune into this radio tower and say that like
- 18:45there is something out in the fields out in the West that
- 18:49there's this like big caravan of food that's like stalled and
- 18:53like I've take an SOS for this convoy, OK, And say like, hey,
- 18:58we need help. We're stranded, we're
- 18:59defenseless. We have nothing.
- 19:00Skraelings or where else is there?
- 19:02They go out, try to rob, get all the shit from this caravan.
- 19:06Leaves us to just like sneak around.
- 19:08It's worth a shot. OK, what would you roll for?
- 19:12That would be. OK, since it's a power.
- 19:15OK, hang on, let me, let me bring up my.
- 19:17Bring up a character the. Shortwave evangelist a backpack
- 19:22mounted ham radio. So I have my ham radio.
- 19:25I'm thinking it's like presence. It doesn't say anything about
- 19:30using the radio. It doesn't say it doesn't.
- 19:32I don't like, I don't see anything in the book about a
- 19:34backpack notched ham radio. OK, but you're looking to hack
- 19:38into the radio that they have or the antenna that they have there
- 19:42or? Like tune into the frequency of.
- 19:44I would say make a knowledge test.
- 19:47All right, I have no warps, right?
- 19:51Don't believe so? Cool, so that's just a 2.
- 19:55OK. So I put my handwriting on the
- 19:58ground. I try to tune in, but like I
- 20:00can't seem to find it. It's like, oh, that's son of a
- 20:02bitch. Yeah.
- 20:03So you're spending a little bit of time trying to dial this in.
- 20:06It's just you're not getting the frequencies right.
- 20:08Sorry, boys. What are the other two doing as
- 20:11he's doing this? I'm going to continue following
- 20:13the fence line and trying to get down to the building.
- 20:16When it gets to the corner, I'll peer around the corner to get an
- 20:20idea of what is around the corner, but I still also want to
- 20:23keep an eye on Hank while he's fiddle fucking with his radio,
- 20:26OK? Yeah, at this point I think like
- 20:28I was like, oh God damn it, sorry, but it's not working.
- 20:31OK. Morgan, what you got going on?
- 20:32You know, just hanging out, vibing, just fly.
- 20:37I'm just happy to be involved. All right, so it takes a little
- 20:41bit for Hank to kind of fiddle with this.
- 20:43As Axel goes to the corner and sees what's going on.
- 20:46There's big lights going from the rooftops, illuminating just
- 20:50beyond where you guys are. You have the cover of night.
- 20:53That's good. Along the fence line, you do
- 20:55hear some scuttles from the Skraelings in the pit, kind of
- 21:00running back and forth into the darkness, but beyond that, you
- 21:02don't seem to see much. As you guys approach the corner
- 21:06where the back door is, you do notice that there is a camera
- 21:10just above the door. Oh, shit.
- 21:12But there is a small strip of electrical tape covering most of
- 21:16the lens. Really.
- 21:18Yeah. So there's only been here
- 21:20already. Yeah, we're not the first ones
- 21:22here. All right.
- 21:23Can I just like, push the electrical tape, make sure it's
- 21:25secure, doesn't fall off? Or can he reach it?
- 21:28Yeah, the camera's literally just above the door, pointing
- 21:31down to the doorway. Oh, OK.
- 21:34So you said most the lens like yes, sorry in my brain I had
- 21:38auto computer that like it kind of drooped off.
- 21:41I'm just like trying to nudge it back on.
- 21:42That might not be what you meant.
- 21:44It's more like somebody just half assedly just took the tape
- 21:46and put it over 2/3 of the camera lens.
- 21:50Well thank God they have shitty interns here.
- 21:52OK, so how much mud is available currently?
- 21:55Not much, it's a dry desert wasteland.
- 21:58How much oil is available currently?
- 22:02Around you. How crude and dark you want to?
- 22:06Muddy up the. Camera, I mean, you do see
- 22:09barrels of half full leftover sludge from what they're doing
- 22:13at the refineries just kind of thrown about.
- 22:15And I grab some sludge and cover the camera the rest of the way.
- 22:18I don't see why not. OK, I would like to do so.
- 22:21OK. Nice.
- 22:22Yeah, I'm not going to make you roll for it.
- 22:23And you just, you take a handful of it and you cover the rest of
- 22:27the camera up so it is completely obscured and there's
- 22:30a door there all. Right.
- 22:31Good job. You're welcome.
- 22:33Now let's go shopping. So now we have to try the door.
- 22:35Is the door locked? The door is locked.
- 22:39Like how intricate is the knob or whatever is used to open the
- 22:43door? It's just a typical door handle,
- 22:45nothing fancy, nothing intricate like you would see on any other
- 22:48gas station. All right, Well, Axel, I
- 22:51wouldn't recommend you use your grenade launcher on this.
- 22:53We got to be stealthy if we just like knock the handle of the
- 22:56knob off. Is there like a keyhole?
- 22:59Yeah, just like a normal. Is there a welcome mat?
- 23:02There's not a welcome mat, unfortunately.
- 23:04Is there a rock off to the side that looks like it may be
- 23:08plastic? I'll roll for it if you want.
- 23:10I want you to roll for it because I want to see what
- 23:12happens. Oh.
- 23:13My God, please in that 20. Please in that 20.
- 23:15I rolled a 15 so is that what modifier am I putting on that
- 23:2015? Presence.
- 23:22Presence that is now a whopping 13.
- 23:26There's a bunch of rocks out here.
- 23:28None of them that look like plastic.
- 23:29None of them that look like they are harboring a spare key.
- 23:34I'm gonna see because I got the skate punk style.
- 23:38I want to see. I've got like safety pins and
- 23:40stuff on me and I'm going to try and see if I can pick the lock.
- 23:43Oh, OK, yeah, go for it. Oh, good idea.
- 23:46Agility. With agility, that's a 14.
- 23:49Ice OK with a little bit of fumbling and maneuvering the
- 23:53safety pins, you do hear the tumblers click.
- 23:56As you hear the tumblers click, oh, you all hear in the distance
- 24:01yelling and screaming and some gunfire.
- 24:03I. Guess that's Tonguska signaling,
- 24:05huh? And as you hear the gunfire, you
- 24:08hear these large, heavy vehicles firing up as well, so.
- 24:12That'll do it. Yep, Yep, we gotta get it now.
- 24:16Let's go. Alright, as you guys enter the
- 24:18room, it's dimly lit with flickering fluorescent lights
- 24:21and there's boxes of supplies that lining the walls.
- 24:25I'm going to check out these supply boxes first.
- 24:27OK, anybody who's checking out these supply boxes, go ahead and
- 24:30roll a presence test. Why not?
- 24:34DR10. That's a dirty 20.
- 24:37Oh. 17 Thomas. I'm currently rubbing my eyes
- 24:41and I'm like why is it so dusty here?
- 24:45OK, so the two that succeeded, go ahead and roll AD 6.
- 24:52Tua. Two also.
- 24:54Both of you guys roll AD 4. D4 coming up. 2. 4 all.
- 24:59Right, two and four. Morgan, you find in one of these
- 25:03boxes a bulletproof vest, which is going to give you minus D4 to
- 25:09your armor, and it's going to add +2 to your agility
- 25:13difficulties. Nice.
- 25:15And Hank, you find in yours a huge monstrous hazmat suit.
- 25:22It's a minus D6 armor and it's going to add +2 to your agility
- 25:27including defense and auto fire it.
- 25:30Adds +2 to agility. It's a difficult to rating, so
- 25:34yeah. For agility tests -1 to a -?
- 25:373 but I have an armor so minus E6 damage.
- 25:42Oh yeah, so they call it a rat tag bio containment suit.
- 25:45Nice. And it's got a special thing
- 25:47that I will fuck it. I'll just tell you now it looks
- 25:50like it's can't be preloaded with one dose of a drug and
- 25:53injection condition. So.
- 25:54Oh my God. OK, hang on, I'm going to roll
- 25:57AD D10 and see what I'm gonna do that.
- 26:00OK. That is A2, which is.
- 26:02Goofball Axle, you've got a bunch of dust in your eyes.
- 26:05I do, yes. So.
- 26:06Very upset by it. Yeah, that's OK.
- 26:08Doesn't make you better. The drug I have is goofballs.
- 26:11You can't feel pain for D 10 minutes and you won't die unless
- 26:14you're reduced to -4 HP, but you still die and are battered when
- 26:19you come down. Oh, there you go, all.
- 26:21Right, so I got goofballs. Yeah.
- 26:22So there'll be just a button on the side that you can jab
- 26:26yourself with that. So in this room, beyond the the
- 26:29boxes that you see, there is a door to the north that leads to
- 26:34a stairwell and a door to the South.
- 26:37Before we go through doors, Morgan would like to go up to
- 26:40Axel. I feel like you might need this
- 26:42more than I do. And hands over the bolt booth
- 26:45fest. You seem squishier than I and he
- 26:48pokes at your sides. Right, but Axel is still wearing
- 26:53tactical armor. That's what kept him going from
- 26:56like. Oh fine, then I'll just put it
- 26:58on myself. We.
- 27:02All right, Yeah. So there's a door to the South,
- 27:04there's a door to the north, and then there's a door on the West
- 27:09wall as well. So.
- 27:11Can we see the thing a little like word #13?
- 27:13Is that? Is that stairs?
- 27:15#13 is a room. Oh.
- 27:17But then like behind like 12, there's like 13, there's like
- 27:20213. There's another 13.
- 27:22Oh, there's 213. What?
- 27:24There's 13 at the top and 13 at the bottom.
- 27:26Yeah, no, it's 14, isn't it? No, there's 213.
- 27:29OK, I'm looking at the wrong one.
- 27:30OK, so the 13 at the stairwell, that's supposed to be a 14, so.
- 27:33OK, so that's a stairwell. Yes.
- 27:36All right, so we got a stairwell.
- 27:38We have this room here, and then we have this door which kind of
- 27:42leads to the outside. And then from there it looks
- 27:45like there's like, no, it's not outside.
- 27:47It looks like like a communal area which would be empty
- 27:50because Tunguska started their distraction.
- 27:54And as you guys are discussing that, you do hear shuffling in
- 27:57some of the other rooms. It sounds like people moving
- 27:59around. Oh.
- 28:00Shit, what rooms are they coming from?
- 28:03Can we tell? It sounds like it's coming from
- 28:05the West of the building, kind of towards the front.
- 28:09Shit. I don't know about you guys, but
- 28:11I don't want to go out there. I say we go down the stairwell.
- 28:15I'm towards all for the idea of getting farther away from what
- 28:21all of that noise is. I agree.
- 28:24So stairwell. Let's hit it.
- 28:26The walls of the stairwell have chipped paint concrete.
- 28:29Apparently someone has been scratching the walls with these.
- 28:32It looks like it primal scratches going down as you're
- 28:35going down the stairwell. There looks to be a fuse box on
- 28:39the wall. Fascinating.
- 28:40Can I check to see if the fuse box is rigged in any way?
- 28:44Go ahead and roll knowledge, right?
- 28:46With my knowledge, at the flat zero, there we go.
- 28:49Ah shoot, that's an 11. You don't seem to see any sort
- 28:53of rigging or traps on the fuse box itself, but you do see that
- 28:57when you open it up, it's numbered from 1 to 17, all
- 29:01right, And some of the switches on the fuse box are more
- 29:05accessible than the others. That's a bad idea waiting to
- 29:08happen, so I think I'm going to touch it.
- 29:09OK. So you guys going to go further
- 29:11down the stairwell? Yeah, yeah.
- 29:13We're down for this far. Got my grenade launcher ready
- 29:16too, just in case. OK.
- 29:17I'm just going to stand behind you.
- 29:20All right, so as you guys are going down the stairwell, it
- 29:22goes down, it seems a lot longer than it should, leading to a
- 29:26hallway with flickering lights that lead down a flight to a
- 29:31hallway painted with tacky blue grey paint.
- 29:34As you guys are going down the stairwell, you've got a hallway.
- 29:36The lights are real shoddy, flickering about and it leads to
- 29:40a a long corridor that gets dark towards the end.
- 29:43Is there a door at the end of the hallway or no not?
- 29:46That you can tell, but if you were to look down the hallway,
- 29:49you do see that there is a door on the West.
- 29:51Wall in the West wall. Yeah, I'm going to walk up to
- 29:55the door and put my ear to it, see if I hear anything from the
- 29:58other side. OK, as you put your ear to the
- 30:00door, you can hear the sound of somebody suffering.
- 30:03Sounds like they're in a lot of pain.
- 30:05Is the voicemail or female? It is a male, is it?
- 30:08One voice. It is just one voice, OK?
- 30:12As you're listening at the wall, you can hear that somebody's
- 30:14shuffling around in there as well.
- 30:16Oh, shit. OK, yeah, all right.
- 30:18I turned back to Morgan and Axel.
- 30:20Like, OK, we may got there's one definite person in there and
- 30:23they're not sounding too good, and then there might be another
- 30:25one I hear shuffling around in there.
- 30:27If I remember correctly, we're supposed to capture this person
- 30:30a lot, that is. Correct.
- 30:32I kind of droop in my shoulders a little bit, look down.
- 30:35So maybe X nay on the nade launcher gay.
- 30:40I guess do we just go in? We could always open the door
- 30:43and yell surprise. I still have my bat, Axel.
- 30:48You got anything that doesn't go boom?
- 30:50Looks down at his hip, There's a board with a nail hammered
- 30:53through it. All right, Lauren, what do you
- 30:55got? I have a matching board.
- 30:58What my nail you'll notice is galvanized.
- 31:02I sprung for the deluxe model. Good all you back the
- 31:05Kickstarter too good. As you guys are trying to figure
- 31:09out what you guys have as far as non explosive weaponry, you do
- 31:13hear what sounds like skittering in the darkness down the
- 31:17hallway. Like the hallway came back down.
- 31:20No further down the hallway. It sounds.
- 31:22It almost sounds like like a beehive, kind of, but it sounds.
- 31:27Like insect like. It does sound very insect like
- 31:30it it doesn't sound like a hive as much as various winged
- 31:34insects skittering in the darkness.
- 31:37Whatever that is. I mean, I and I hold up the grid
- 31:40outlet. I've got an extermination.
- 31:43Option We'll just piss them. Off or just set them on fire and
- 31:46then we'll have a swarm of flaming things attacking us.
- 31:49Or maybe anybody else that's stupid enough to come back here.
- 31:53So Door with the shuffling and moaning sounds like our best
- 31:57bet. Plan a door with the shuffling.
- 32:00OK. You guys going in the door?
- 32:01I think so. All right is, is the door
- 32:03unlocked or is it locked? The door is slightly open all
- 32:07right, so as you enter the room. I think we kick it down.
- 32:10We just got a surprise. Just bum rush whatever's there.
- 32:13OK, All right boys on 312I. Kicked the door open and go.
- 32:17Got it. Oh man, Drop.
- 32:19Come on. But you didn't yell surprise.
- 32:22The plan was to yell surprise. So as you kick the door open,
- 32:26you notice that the room is it's an untidy office with papers
- 32:29thrown everywhere at bullet holes riddling the southern
- 32:32wall. And as you look into the room,
- 32:35you see a gentleman, severely injured, leaning up against the
- 32:38filing cabinet. He has a huge gunshot shot wound
- 32:41to his side and he has a lot of blood dripping from the base of
- 32:48his skull as you're staring at the back.
- 32:50Oh God. And he seems to be trying to
- 32:52tell you something as he turns around and sees you guys.
- 32:54I go up to him and I'm like, God damn, are you OK?
- 32:58As he looks at you, he's not doing good, he is not going to
- 33:02make it. He looks to you and you could
- 33:03barely see. He's making out the words Riddle
- 33:06rabbit, and as he says the word rabbit you see a large larva
- 33:11creature come out of his mouth, wrap around his neck and go into
- 33:17the hole in the base of his skull.
- 33:19Oh good. And it seems to be burrowing
- 33:23further into his skull. And as it gets into his head,
- 33:26you see his eyes roll back and he seizes up and he drops to the
- 33:30ground. OK.
- 33:32So that's the Riddle rabbit. That's not Riddle or a rabbit.
- 33:36It's fucked up, that's what that is.
- 33:38Is there anything else in this room that we could salvage?
- 33:40I mean, there's a desk in here, there's filing cabinet and
- 33:43there's a bunch of papers that are thrown about.
- 33:46I want to go look at the papers really quick.
- 33:48OK, how compromised is that dead guy's skull?
- 33:51I'm just saying the thing burrowed in there.
- 33:52It might try to Burrow into one of us.
- 33:55My logic is kill it. Or take control of that guy.
- 33:59Are you going to make him your new thrall?
- 34:01Oh God, hang on a second, hang on.
- 34:04Sorry, I was drawing my hazmat suit.
- 34:06Let me see here about my congregants.
- 34:09Just to let you know, he is on the ground and it does not
- 34:12appear to be alive. Oh, he's dead.
- 34:14Yeah, yet. All right, because whatever this
- 34:17large larva was that came out of his mouth is.
- 34:21Eating him from the inside out. Yeah, and it just went right
- 34:24from his mouth around his neck and burrowed into the back of
- 34:27his head. The.
- 34:28Feasting on his brain like some Chef Boyardee.
- 34:31Yeah, lovely. Sorry if you all love Chef
- 34:33Boyardee out there. It's pronounced Boyardy.
- 34:37Boyardy. Sorry.
- 34:38As soon as Morgan brings up the point of that thing still in his
- 34:42head, Axel just freaks out and starts jumping up and down on
- 34:46the skull. OK.
- 34:47Just smashing. And just start trying to smash.
- 34:49It OK, I mean it's prone on the ground.
- 34:52You stomp the living hell out of his head and there's blood.
- 34:56And as you're stomping and skull cracks open, you see the larva
- 35:00make its way like it's trying to escape as well.
- 35:04And The thing is the size of a foot long Subway sandwich.
- 35:09Oh, 11 inches. Roughly 11 inches.
- 35:11Little face. Sponsored by Subway. 12 inches
- 35:14Bullshit. And you can see that it's
- 35:16crawling away from the body. Huge Stinger coming off of the
- 35:21back, very sharp and imposing mandibles.
- 35:24Lovely. It is pretty fucking gross.
- 35:26Yeah. And I will continue hitting it
- 35:29with my board. OK, and this thing stops moving
- 35:32with a squishing splats of death.
- 35:35Thank you. You said you were going to be.
- 35:37Yeah, I'm checking the papers on this desk.
- 35:39OK. The papers on the desk include
- 35:41multiple formal complaints from a Sergeant Donovan that several
- 35:45staff members have been reassigned to the basement for
- 35:48weeks now without leave, and also that the summary execution
- 35:52of burial of prisoners has been against military protocol or non
- 35:58enemy combats. This is like a a prison camp.
- 36:01It's what it appears to be, boys.
- 36:03There's some bad shit went down here.
- 36:05Looks like used to be an old military Army base, well army
- 36:09prison, but it seems the soldiers got a little bored and
- 36:13decided to use the prisoners were target practice.
- 36:16So whatever those scragglings are looking for up there,
- 36:19they're just feeding on the graveyard of the prisoners.
- 36:22I don't like this place. We we need to just get our our
- 36:26person and get out. Yeah.
- 36:27Is there anything about bugs in this paper?
- 36:30Doesn't say anything about any sort of mutated insects or
- 36:33anything in the paperwork that you're looking at now.
- 36:36Whoopi are you guys staying in the room or you guys leaving I.
- 36:39Think we're going to be leaving? OK, as you leave the room, you
- 36:42do notice that a little bit down the hallway, before it gets to
- 36:46just the pitch blackness, you do see another open doorway to the
- 36:50West. You.
- 36:51Know, right and you said it's open.
- 36:52It is open. All right, I peer in the crack.
- 36:55Of the door. OK, looking in the doorway you
- 36:59see a room that has two makeshift prison cells in it.
- 37:03Are they empty? You do see a few dead bodies,
- 37:06looks like they've been shot several times.
- 37:09And you see an individual in a military suit that looks like he
- 37:14has been attacked and he's reaching for one of the bodies.
- 37:19Not exactly sure what he's grabbing for.
- 37:22But as he sees you guys, he's like, please, please, I need
- 37:25your help. We need to get out of here.
- 37:27Yeah, no, I'm kidding. Yeah, like, well, that depends.
- 37:30You've been a bug food lately. Yeah, I don't I I need to get
- 37:36out of here. This this place is a fucking
- 37:37nightmare. They're.
- 37:38Answering my question, I you got a bug in you.
- 37:41Do I, I don't know. I just, I, he's holding with one
- 37:45hand what appears to be a gunshot wound, and he's kind of
- 37:49just crawling towards one of the bodies.
- 37:51They have a set of keys that are clutched in their hands, tight
- 37:55like rigor mortis to set in. And it's just holding the like a
- 37:58death grip on these keys. We need to get these keys.
- 38:02We need to get the fuck out of here.
- 38:04My name is Lieutenant Boyers and I we, I need your help, please.
- 38:10So we need those keys. Yes, yes, Morgan would go over
- 38:14and and get the keys. OK, and I guess I go to Axel,
- 38:18help me pick them up. Yeah.
- 38:19We'll go in on each side of them and just kind of like lift them
- 38:22up, yeah. OK, so as you go and pick them
- 38:25up, you do notice that aside from just having this gunshot
- 38:29wound to his side, you do see that his chest seems to be
- 38:33moving in a weird fashion as you're holding him up.
- 38:36Nope. And.
- 38:38Squirming. As you're holding him up, you
- 38:41see out of the corpses that you took the keys from, more larva
- 38:46just ripping from the flesh. Axel, let's bring this guy.
- 38:51This does not look good for him, no.
- 38:54Wait, it's not his fault. Where are we taking the keys?
- 38:57And with that, we're going to take a break.
- 39:10So you survived, So far at least.
- 39:13Welcome to Wasteland Degenerates, the tabletop RPG
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- 41:26I, your host Elaskos teams up with everyone's favorite scum,
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- 41:34down with content leaders to help promote and try to give
- 41:37maximum exposure and efforts to support their crowdfunding
- 41:41campaigns. Welcome back.
- 41:57Face These guys have found themselves in a makeshift prison
- 42:01cell in the bottom of some sort of gas station compound thing.
- 42:06Tenguska's nowhere to be seen and they're holding up a
- 42:10gentleman by the name of Lieutenant Bowers who is got a
- 42:14gunshot wound and some sort of movement in his chest as they
- 42:19are focused on these larva that are ripping from these corpses
- 42:24and the larva have taken notice of our degenerates.
- 42:31Before we go forward, the guy that we ran into in the other
- 42:34room, was he wearing army fatigues?
- 42:36He was wearing some sort of military style fatigues.
- 42:39Oh fuck. OK.
- 42:40That being said, we're all initiative.
- 42:42Oh shit, OK. Because these larvae are focused
- 42:46on you. How many are there?
- 42:48There are, I don't know, Romy AD 6.
- 42:52This first one is going to be the larvae.
- 42:55Okay, 5. Okay, there are 5.
- 42:57And initiative is 1. Okay, wow, you, you picked a lot
- 43:02of them, Yeah. They can we switch those?
- 43:05Yeah. Let's do that.
- 43:06There's one larva and we rolled up.
- 43:09Kev, can we just be cool, man? Come on.
- 43:12I'm so sorry. I'm so sorry I can't be.
- 43:16Cool. I cannot.
- 43:18I'm the I'm the game master. I'm.
- 43:23I'm the most uncool person at this table.
- 43:26Look at me. I'm Kevin.
- 43:27I'm like a substitute teacher. Oh.
- 43:30You're like fair advantage is too bad that's how the dice roll
- 43:34shit for Dicks. So everybody make.
- 43:38So there's five of. Them.
- 43:39There's five of them, yes. Everybody make a defense role.
- 43:46That's agility. So I have -3 to that whoopie
- 43:49from, well, I have armors I don't like.
- 43:52I've only rolled the 13. There you go.
- 43:55Which is a. 10 That's a natural 20.
- 43:57OK, love it. What?
- 43:59I rolled the 10. Do you remember how many warps I
- 44:00had? I know I'd used at least two of
- 44:03them in the last session, but it's been a minute.
- 44:05We'll go with two, OK. I would like to use one.
- 44:09OK, leaving. Me with one that I may or may
- 44:12not have. Well, that was a waste of war.
- 44:18Thanks for thanks for that Kevin.
- 44:20I appreciate it. I take back the the substitute
- 44:23teacher comment from earlier. Sorry, that's too late.
- 44:26It has been recorded and that will be etched in my memory for
- 44:30future future disciplinary actions.
- 44:33Kevin will remember that. You have no real authority you.
- 44:36Have no authority in the real. So as these larvae creatures are
- 44:43focused on you, they lunge towards the three of you.
- 44:46Well, at least three of them do. The other two are still
- 44:48scuttering about. Just derping around.
- 44:51A little bit the ones going for Hank and Axel lunge at you, but
- 44:57catch your tactical gear and don't seem to make purchase
- 45:01because they're they're trying to they have these large
- 45:03stingers in the back and they're trying to jab them into you.
- 45:07But the one going for Morgan does seem to puncture.
- 45:11Go ahead and roll a D3 for damage.
- 45:16No, my D3. Where are you?
- 45:19You can't find it's taking too long to roll D6.
- 45:21Okay, all right, that's four and divided by two, so that's 2.
- 45:26OK, that's two points of damage. Then go ahead and make a
- 45:28toughness test. Oh shit.
- 45:30What about my body armor? Oh, you do have body armor, That
- 45:34is correct. Go ahead and roll your armor.
- 45:36So it was -4 So roll AD 4, right?
- 45:39Yes, Sir, that's a one. OK, so you take one point of
- 45:42damage. OK.
- 45:43And then go ahead and make a toughness test, DR12.
- 45:47You got this? Nope.
- 45:48No, I rolled 3 OK my. Dice is rolled 3 three times in
- 45:52a row. It's pretty.
- 45:54Wow, go ahead and roll me AD 4. You get to roll all the dice.
- 45:59Let's do. As this larva lunges at you and
- 46:02pierces through your armor, you feel the Stinger Pierce your
- 46:06body and you feel something injected inside you.
- 46:10And as soon as you feel that injection flow through your
- 46:14bloodstream, you stiffen up and and you plank fall to the
- 46:18ground. You are paralyzed for the next
- 46:22two rounds. Oh my.
- 46:25Shit, he got that hot beef. Injection.
- 46:28Why is everybody looking at me? Your guys's turn.
- 46:32All right, Axel, do you want to go first?
- 46:34Yeah, I'll try swinging at one with my board.
- 46:37OK. Which one would you be swinging
- 46:38at the one on you? Yeah, OK.
- 46:41That is another natural 20. Lice.
- 46:44First off, you had a natural 20 before, right?
- 46:47I did so you should have attacked.
- 46:49Yes, and that would have been an 18.
- 46:52OK, so roll your damage. 3 for the first hit, the natural 20 is
- 47:001 * 2, SO 2. All right, so tell me how you
- 47:04killed this fancy little larva. Nice dude.
- 47:06Yeah, So it lunged at me and I dodged out of the way and swung
- 47:11with the board and managed to, like, pin it to the ground.
- 47:14And then with just a thrust, I forced the board to bisect this
- 47:18thing on the ground in front of me.
- 47:19OK, perfect. And it is been bisected.
- 47:22There's two bits of squirming larva on the ground.
- 47:26Nice. Is this one of the situations
- 47:27where like if you cut in half a gross into two different larva?
- 47:31That's a good question. I guess we'll have to wait and
- 47:33see. That's a solid maybe.
- 47:35Fuck Mr. Gambino. Alrighty, the strength.
- 47:41Correct. Fucking's A5.
- 47:43OK, tell me how you miss. I think what the amazing Hank is
- 47:46trying to do, he's like God damn it, get away from me a jug ass
- 47:51and he tries like to swat like he's mad trying to swat it with
- 47:55a spiked bat, but he just frantically panics and misses.
- 47:59OK, Mr. Paschke, go ahead, roll me a toughness test, DR10.
- 48:04All right. You got this.
- 48:06I'd like you to live over there. You know what?
- 48:08This whole set, this whole. Set you can die.
- 48:13You're not going to hear that again for a while.
- 48:15OK. Because that was.
- 48:18That was an 8. Out of 10, that was an 8.
- 48:21Not a three. Nope, we're going with this set
- 48:25now. The heavy gold set that I've had
- 48:28that has not failed me, but it's not as fun.
- 48:32It's my new set of dice because because.
- 48:36OK, so as you're laying there paralyzed, you're still aware of
- 48:42what's going on and you feel this larva with its Stinger
- 48:46still inside of you working its way into your body.
- 48:50As it's working its way into your body, you feel that it it's
- 48:54moving stuff around trying to get through your body roll
- 48:59initiative. Who wants to do it this time?
- 49:01I'll give it a shot. Boom, that's the one.
- 49:03Damn. It all right, so Axel, one of
- 49:06the other larva charges through the corpse of the one that you
- 49:10just bisected and is lunging towards you.
- 49:13Go ahead and defend. That's a no.
- 49:17I got a 8. Okay, go ahead and roll a D3 for
- 49:22damage. And that is 1.
- 49:24And you have armor, I do, and that is negated.
- 49:27Okay, so it's clung on to you and it's trying to jab at you
- 49:30with its Stinger, but it's just not making it through that armor
- 49:33unfortunately. Yes, unfortunately.
- 49:35I mean, fortunately, did I say unfortunately, yeah.
- 49:39I'm not trying to kill you, Mr. Gambino.
- 49:41The one that is attacking you is still trying to attack you.
- 49:47The 5 -, 3, that's a 2. OK, go ahead and roll me AD3AD3
- 49:52for the Stinger trying to sting you all.
- 49:56Right, I'm just gonna roll this deep and ignore the 43.
- 50:00OK and you have armor Yes the body 2 is D6 isn't it the hazmat
- 50:05suit? D6 yes.
- 50:07Five OK, so same thing it's still trying to Pierce through
- 50:13and fortunately it does not Pierce through your hazmat suit
- 50:16get. Off of me, you crawling little
- 50:18Jackass. Mr. Paschke, you feel this one
- 50:22still throwing into your chest cavity.
- 50:26Oh. Shit.
- 50:27And now it is your guys's turn. Can I try to get the thing
- 50:31that's on Morgan off of him? Sure.
- 50:34All righty. How are you doing this?
- 50:35I'm just going to take my bat and try to swing it off of him,
- 50:39but I don't want to do that because I'm afraid I'm just
- 50:42going to roll shitty and kill him by accident.
- 50:44Fuck. High risk, high reward buddy.
- 50:46I have faith in you. Don't say that I got to do it.
- 50:52I got to try. Scared Dollar?
- 50:56Yes, that is an 18. Fantastic.
- 50:59So tell me how you do this all. Right.
- 51:01Well, first of all I got a roll damage then, right?
- 51:04Yes, you do all. Right, that's D64.
- 51:09All right, tell me how you do this.
- 51:11Sweet. All right, I see this disgusting
- 51:15wriggling little bug that looks like this.
- 51:18It does look like that. Now and I go not fucking today
- 51:23and I wind up like Happy Gilmore.
- 51:26I step into my swing with my spike bat and I Babe Ruth this
- 51:31bug off of my boy. Fantastic.
- 51:34As you Babe Ruth, this guy off of your boy Morgan, you come out
- 51:38of this paralysis almost as if the head coming off of this
- 51:42larva breaks the connection and you are able to move and are in
- 51:47a lot of pain because this thing is jammed up inside you.
- 51:51That phrasing sounds great. Oh my.
- 51:58You OK buddy? My clench might help, but I pull
- 52:02it out right I try to remove it. OK, go ahead and make a strength
- 52:06check. OK, come on, new dice.
- 52:08Don't feel me like old dice. What'd you get?
- 52:11Just OK as you're pulling it? You feel that it's lodged in
- 52:17there pretty bad, so it may take a little bit of work to get it
- 52:20out. Axel, what would you like to do?
- 52:22How many are left still? There are three left, one that's
- 52:26attacking. The one that's on me, actually.
- 52:28Yes. Yeah, I am going to address this
- 52:31before it gets too far out of him.
- 52:34That is a 12. 12 wheel hit. Or three damage.
- 52:39You tell me what happens. Basically I've managed to like
- 52:42as it was like grapple me and sting me.
- 52:44I managed to like pry with my board to like get it off of me
- 52:48and I've just got it down onto the ground.
- 52:51I don't know if it's dead or not so.
- 52:53OK, as it slams against the ground, it makes a terrifying
- 52:57shrieking noise, but it is still up.
- 52:59But it is not looking good. That being said initiative.
- 53:02I haven't ruled it yet. Is that AD 6D sixer?
- 53:06Come on you dice 5. Yeah, we go.
- 53:08Yeah, that's us. As you guys, Mr. Bashi, what
- 53:11would you like to do? I want that Stinger out of me.
- 53:13I want you to get it out of you. All right, Do.
- 53:16You, Kevin, do you? I do.
- 53:17I want him to be unpenetrated. Yeah.
- 53:21Hello. Are you still penetrated?
- 53:23No, I rolled an 18. I thought you have successfully
- 53:26ripped this thing from your chest.
- 53:28Oh well, don't sound too happy about it.
- 53:32I guess you just ripped the fucking thing from your chest.
- 53:36Every time, every day, it's just ripping things out of your
- 53:39chest. Fucking what?
- 53:41Is this the pit? Does he have a new weapon?
- 53:45Does he have insect Stinger? Why not?
- 53:49Yeah, it'll do D3 damage, yeah. Hell yeah.
- 53:52But you do have a hole in your chest.
- 53:55Oh yeah, that should be. Addressed immediately.
- 53:57Hopefully soon. Who's next?
- 53:59I'll continue trying to club the one at my feet.
- 54:02Club it like a baby seal. Don't club baby seals.
- 54:05Wait till they're adult seals. Yeah.
- 54:08All right, that is 18. That's a salt.
- 54:12For two more damage. Tell me how you do it.
- 54:14Yeah, it's just the panic swinging at this point.
- 54:16Keep going into it. It is mush.
- 54:19Got it perfect and it has been pulverized into a pile of goo,
- 54:28Mr. Gambino. There's one left.
- 54:30There is 2 left. There's two left.
- 54:33OK, I am. There's one that was going
- 54:36towards you, and then there's one that's going towards the
- 54:39Lieutenant. And the Lieutenant, by the way,
- 54:41has just been dropped to the ground.
- 54:43He's still holding himself, he's writhing in pain and he's got
- 54:46this larva coming straight towards him.
- 54:48I'm getting the one that's going towards Lieutenant, but Bowers,
- 54:52OK, I'm just gonna roll that fucking 20.
- 54:58Sweet child of mine, please roll that beautiful damage.
- 55:02I'm going to do Max damage. Actually, you know what I'm
- 55:05going to since this is okay. So this is not much.
- 55:07I'm just going to roll D6 and multiply it.
- 55:09Okay. 3 * 2 that's 6. Tell me how you kill it.
- 55:13I just fucking El kabong this larva and I smash it with my
- 55:18spiked bat and get right in its head.
- 55:21All the spikes just, like, Pierce the head of this larva,
- 55:24and thing just wriggles for a minute and then stops, then kind
- 55:29of shrivels into itself. And then I just sort of crouched
- 55:32down at Lieutenant Bowers. And I'd be like, remember, I
- 55:34saved your life when we're asking questions out of you.
- 55:37Yes, of course, of course. Oh, God.
- 55:41And there's one left and it is coming towards you.
- 55:44Mr. Gambino, please go ahead and make a defense room.
- 55:48Don't be scared. You can roll high.
- 55:50You can. You're AD 20, you can roll big.
- 55:52Fuck you. That's a four.
- 55:56OK, D3 damage all. Right, but.
- 55:59Four, and you have your D6 armor.
- 56:02Oh yeah, no, that was. Four.
- 56:03OK, so. Oh wait, no, oh, sorry, D3.
- 56:06Damage D3 Damage. Oh.
- 56:08Shit, I'm sorry. Hang on.
- 56:09You're all good. So it's 2.
- 56:10That's my bad. OK, I'm gonna take this 1.
- 56:16Okay, your armor is going to negate it.
- 56:18Yep, all right, this one, it lunges at you again.
- 56:21Another one that's still trying to breakthrough that hazmat suit
- 56:24and it just not happen. I taunt it.
- 56:26Okay, you can taunt it and you can also roll initiative.
- 56:28Nice try, you're crawling a little bitch too.
- 56:32Two, it is it. So the one that is on you is
- 56:35realizing it can't get through to you, so it jumps off and
- 56:38jumps onto Lieutenant Bauer. Fuck.
- 56:41And Lieutenant Bauer, as he's writhing in paint on the ground,
- 56:45he can't defend himself. And this larva crawls to his
- 56:50face and into his mouth and down his throat.
- 56:54Son of a bitch. As it's crawling down his
- 56:57throat, Lieutenant Boward starts to vomit profusely, throws up
- 57:01the larva, and he starts throwing up another larva, and a
- 57:04third and two more after that. And all of a sudden you see that
- 57:10his chest starts to almost cave in and then expand very wide as
- 57:18this huge insect's larva bursts from his chest as it's bursting
- 57:24through these huge wasp wings spread from its back and Stinger
- 57:29unfolds from the rear. The Stinger juts into Lieutenant
- 57:34Bauer's back and this huge wasp creature drags the Lieutenant
- 57:40out of the door and into the darkness.
- 57:43Are the larvas that spun out of him alive?
- 57:45They are alive and they are following the huge wasp creature
- 57:50take. Those keys, they were important.
- 57:52Let's get the fuck out of here. Agreed.
- 57:56Yeah, that that's the plan I can go with.
- 57:58And also, for good measure, blow the fuck out of whatever is at
- 58:02the end of that hall. Yeah.
- 58:04Now if there was ever a right time to use a rocket launcher, I
- 58:08think this is this is it. Yeah, go.
- 58:10Fucking nuts. It's a grenade launcher and turn
- 58:13and just fire. If you're launching it, it's
- 58:16kind of a rocket. So you're firing off into the
- 58:19darkness? Yeah, OK.
- 58:20I cast magic Missile into the darkness.
- 58:23All right, go ahead and make your attack.
- 58:26That is a 17. Yes, all right, go ahead and
- 58:29roll the damage. That is five damage.
- 58:32Five damage. OK so as you follow the trail of
- 58:37larva going into the darkness, you blindly launch a grenade
- 58:41into the darkened void. You hear an explosion and a
- 58:44blood curdling shrill that fades off as you hear the sound of the
- 58:50larva crawling further into the darkness.
- 58:52As you you guys are staring off seeing what happened, Teguska
- 58:56runs down the stairs down the hallway to you guys and is in
- 59:00just complete disbelief. Are you seeing what the fuck is
- 59:03going on here? There's a bunch of fucking wasp
- 59:06type larva just crawling all over this goddamn place.
- 59:08What the fuck? Yeah, no fucking shit.
- 59:11We just, we saw one go that way. We blew.
- 59:13What the fuck up? Let's get the fuck out of here.
- 59:16One of them was in me. Oh my God.
- 59:18Oh my God that looks infected. Holy shit.
- 1:00:05This episode of Flail the Face features the games Wasteland
- 1:00:08DeGeneres by Scott C McDonald and Matthew Mislitsky and Hell
- 1:00:12Spawn by Richard Marker and Lee Iovis with Thomas Geno Stummy
- 1:00:15playing Dalton Walls and Axel Weasel Dust, Tom Gambino playing
- 1:00:19Colette Stellarno and the Amazing Hank, Charles Patchke
- 1:00:22playing Donnie and Morgan Cyber Tanner and Kevin Welch as the
- 1:00:26game master. Season 2 theme music is Void
- 1:00:28construct by Alex Grohl, editing by Kevin Welch, episode art by
- 1:00:31Tom Gambino and video editing by Dan Finey.
- 1:00:34And on behalf of the cast and crew of Flay of the Face, we
- 1:00:36want to thank all the listeners for sticking with us.
- 1:00:39Without you, the season wouldn't be a thing.
- 1:00:41So if you could do us a favor and like subscribe and follow on
- 1:00:44Facebook, Twitter, Instagram, blue sky and YouTube.
- 1:00:47Yeah, we're on there too and share with all your friends so
- 1:00:49we can get out there to more people.
- 1:00:50With that being said, thank you for listening and we'll catch
- 1:00:52you guys next time. So yeah, everybody got their
- 1:01:05character and all that shit and. This.
- 1:01:09Is a no for a fact that I have no warps because I used them up.
- 1:01:13Oh yeah, IE coming up. I have 4I used 2 me I wrote it
- 1:01:21down. No I didn't write it down.
- 1:01:24I. Thought I wrote it down.
- 1:01:28Nope. OK, can I at least used to?
- 1:01:31Can I revive with a poor tent please?
- 1:01:34Absolutely not. I I can't get a bench for a
- 1:01:39second, yeah, because I, I have the deck like right there.
- 1:01:43I'm looking at it, I've got mine.
- 1:01:45Where the fuck is? Mine I got actually I grabbed
- 1:01:47the the box set so I have the portents of the D gloved hand
- 1:01:51and I also got the box set for portents of the dying God.
- 1:01:56Oh, I need to get that one. I don't need to get any of this
- 1:01:59shit, but I would like to get that one and that Crown Assault
- 1:02:03one. Yeah, I I want to get Crown
- 1:02:06assault because I I didn't back it because it was an overseas 1
- 1:02:10and backing stuff overseas is. Always such a hassle.
- 1:02:13Yeah. But now, like I see everybody
- 1:02:17talking about it and I'm like God damn it now I want it.
- 1:02:19It looks so fucking good though, I know and I I did end up like
- 1:02:24backing it but I had to back out because I don't know, I guess I
- 1:02:26needed groceries or bills or some shit.
- 1:02:29Stupid important shit. Yeah, I know it's fucking wack,
- 1:02:32but yeah. Can of beans you know.
- 1:02:36What's that? You can live off cans of beans.
- 1:02:39Yeah, I don't know how long I'll be married, but I can live off
- 1:02:41cans of beans that's wet. Expect I'm eating breeds this
- 1:02:53this like I was talking to Kevin while you guys were doing your
- 1:02:57doing your been to this. This is this is having me
- 1:02:59guessing like I'm like I'm like God, I don't know what to
- 1:03:02fucking expect. Right.
- 1:03:04Yeah, I'm kind of like. Feels good, like I'm very
- 1:03:06immersed. In this story, Kevin's trying to
- 1:03:08kill us. Let's keep that in.
- 1:03:10Mind. No, no, no.
- 1:03:12How is Kevin trying to kill? Us, I am a fan of the player.
- 1:03:16How dare you? I am a man of the people.
- 1:03:20That being said, yes, I want you to die.
- 1:03:26So after all these, what the hell were they called?
- 1:03:29I'll look it up. This will be the power of
- 1:03:31editing. This is what I get for taking a
- 1:03:35month off too. Don't have a note saying Zalia
- 1:03:49is that. Is that anything in particular?
- 1:03:52Zalia, that was the necromancer from the first arc.
- 1:03:54Yeah, yeah, yeah. Oh, OK, well, let's scratch that
- 1:03:57note. Yeah, that's that's an old note.
- 1:04:00Look, in the fucking book, Kevin.
- 1:04:02Jesus, you have it in front of you.
- 1:04:04This is going in the bloops. Where we're going, we don't need
- 1:04:11Jesus. Thank God.
- 1:04:17What do AD 20? AM I rolling AD 20 to heal or is
- 1:04:21it AD 8 or? Is.
- 1:04:24I got AD 35 if you want me to roll.
- 1:04:26That please roll the D35 and see what you get. 19 Oh, they're
- 1:04:32dead. 35 You only rolled a 19. Right, Jesus fucking Christ.
- 1:04:41And she drops you off just on the outside of that.
- 1:04:45And she says, all right, I'll see you guys inside.
- 1:04:48Good luck all. Right, take us up after class.
- 1:04:51What? I don't know, it felt like the
- 1:04:55last time I was dropped off like this I was picked up after
- 1:04:57class. Oh.
- 1:04:59Bye Mommy. You went to school, OK?
- 1:05:03What is it with you and mommies? Yeah, that's a very good point.
- 1:05:08It's don't question through line.
- 1:05:12And she just drives off very slowly with a very confused look
- 1:05:15on her face. So only. 1.
- 1:05:20More so hoping to have a little lunch box handed to him and a
- 1:05:24note fit into his jacket to give to the teacher.
- 1:05:28I'm storming this place here. This is my hall pass.
- 1:05:34You have to let me in now, OK? Excuse me, that was a burp.
- 1:05:41Delicious. I want the big chunks, no?
- 1:05:45You don't. I always think you do, but you
- 1:05:47don't really. Do yeah, I had a very full
- 1:05:50dinner, so I have it written down there.
- 1:05:55If it's a bug bite I swear to fucking God it's gonna get bad
- 1:05:58and. Then he's got written down
- 1:05:59crawling thing on the inside of Oregon's It's scorpion or it's a
- 1:06:05cicada. It's probably a cicada this
- 1:06:08time. Or a tarantula hawk wasp.
- 1:06:12You ever seen those things? They're really fucking cool.
- 1:06:17They're, they're, they're, they're Wasps designed to like
- 1:06:21fuck up spiders. Like they're a beautiful like
- 1:06:25blue color and they live in Australia.
- 1:06:27So which is basically over all the spiders anyway.
- 1:06:31And like, So what they do is they inject venom into it and
- 1:06:36the tarantula is like still alive and aware of all the pain
- 1:06:40and sensations that's happening to it.
- 1:06:43So the hawk wasp takes it to its lair, lays eggs on top of it,
- 1:06:47and the egg hatches it to a larvae, and the larvae just
- 1:06:49feasts upon the still conscious and aware paralyzed spider.
- 1:06:53That's delightful. Is it one of those, Kevin?
- 1:06:57Sorry, I wasn't paying attention.
- 1:07:01Little early for the detection to set in like this.
- 1:07:04Poke, poke. Nice.
- 1:07:09Why does it smell like White Castle?