Latest / Authentic Living / Neurodivergence, vintage dancing, and advocacy: a conversation with Kristin Light

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Neurodivergence, vintage dancing, and advocacy: a conversation with Kristin Light · Authentic Living

• 0:24
  Welcome.
• 0:25
  To authentic living with Roxanne, a place where we have conscious conversations about things
• 0:32
  that really matter in our lives.
• 0:34
  And now here's your host, Roxanne Derhodge.
• 1:03
  Everyone, it's Roxanne Derhodge.
• 1:05
  Thanks, for tuning in again this week.
• 1:07
  Today, I have a special colleague that's actually we're newly appointed.
• 1:11
  Her name is Kristen Light, and Kristen is a quite fascinating.
• 1:15
  I'm gonna say a young lady.
• 1:17
  That recently joined the Canadian Association professional speakers, and she has, a
• 1:23
  background in Euro, diversity so Kristen, I'll I'll tell you a little bit about Kristen.
• 1:27
  You're gonna love her personality because she's gonna let you know who who she is and, just to
• 1:32
  her by her mere presence.
• 1:34
  She's a senior engagement strategist, a vintage dancer, which I wanna know more about, an award
• 1:39
  winning speaker, She's had prayers that went from the boardroom to the ballroom.
• 1:44
  And as a vivacious circle, you'll see what I mean with the per with the personality.
• 1:49
  Having had multiple successful companies.
• 1:52
  She's had a brush with some mental capacities put her, unfortunately, into a psychiatric ward
• 2:00
  twice, which is where we're gonna talk a little bit more about today.
• 2:03
  So, Kristen, thanks so much for coming in and chatting with us today.
• 2:08
  It's my pleasure.
• 2:08
  Thanks so much for
• 2:09
  the invite.
• 2:10
  So ballroom.
• 2:12
  So tell me about that.
• 2:14
  I find that fascinating this much.
• 2:16
  I did not know about Kristen.
• 2:18
  I I you either know everything about it or or nothing.
• 2:21
  I sort of trickle it out gradually with folks.
• 2:24
  Yeah.
• 2:24
  I've danced since I was 4.
• 2:27
  I was a really uncoordinated kid.
• 2:30
  I would fall downstairs on the regular, and my mother didn't know what to do.
• 2:35
  So she stuck me a ballet class.
• 2:39
  Fast forward through, you know, 20 years of training and that eventually migrated into
• 2:46
  vintage styles and ended up specializing in 1920s, thirties, and forties.
• 2:52
  In particular, and North American style.
• 2:54
  So we're talking Charleston, Liddy Hop, Balboa, slow blues, a little bit of rock and roll, but
• 3:00
  it's not my specialty.
• 3:02
  So mostly in the pre world war 1 or war time or world war 2 in war time era, Dance Styles.
• 3:07
  And I did that professionally for quite a while.
• 3:10
  I actually co owned a dance studio Toronto's largest studio for quite some time.
• 3:15
  So that was my my before life.
• 3:18
  I like to call this,
• 3:20
  like, before life.
• 3:21
  Yeah.
• 3:23
  So let's let's just jump into neurodiversity, and I think, you know, you know, Kristen, I
• 3:30
  think a lot of people throw around the term and neurotypical and, you know, we're talking.
• 3:36
  We'll hear flashes of we have to hire to create space and, you know, lots of lovely language, I
• 3:45
  would say.
• 3:46
  But I want you to to explain to people just the basics about what we know as we kind of talk
• 3:50
  about the realities of your diversity in the workplace.
• 3:54
  Yeah.
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  I always like to say that the the will is there.
• 3:58
  The the awareness is is getting there and folks generally want to be as inclusive as possible,
• 4:05
  and the term neurodiversity actually refers to the natural variations in all of our brains.
• 4:11
  So the the mix of all of us together, whether you are more of an introvert or an extrovert or
• 4:18
  whether you have autistic tendency or you hear voices even at any variation the way we see the
• 4:27
  world, experience the world, that that encompasses neurodiversity as a whole.
• 4:32
  Now about 80% of the population are pretty similar.
• 4:37
  And, therefore, we we tend to classify folks as neurotypical, but it it's not as simple as
• 4:41
  that.
• 4:42
  It's it's easy to think of it off the top as as those that are typical the 20% that are
• 4:47
  divergent, but it always the lines are gonna blur a lot more when we dig further into it.
• 4:52
  And for the 15 to 20% of us that class bias, neurodivergence, the ones that get all the
• 4:58
  attention in the media right now are autism, ADHD, dyslexia.
• 5:04
  But it's really a much broader, definition than that.
• 5:08
  So plurality, multiple personality, since we used to call it, to rats, epilepsy, mental
• 5:14
  illness, even depression, anxiety, anything that would cause you to perceive the world
• 5:21
  differently than the majority.
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  And you don't need to have a specific diagnosis to consider yourself if they're a virgin, you
• 5:31
  generally know if you approach the world differently than than most of your colleagues.
• 5:38
  And getting a diagnosis is tricky.
• 5:40
  I'm sure we'll get into that a little further.
• 5:42
  So sometimes all we can do is identify as neuro urgent.
• 5:46
  We we don't necessarily have the laundry list of all the specifics of our brain for all kinds
• 5:50
  of barriers and reasons for that.
• 5:53
  But that's all.
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  So, really, there's no particular way that someone may present.
• 5:59
  And, obviously, with my bop background psychologist, I've dealt with a lot of people
• 6:05
  with lots of different presentations.
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  Of course.
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  And I would think that's, you know, if you think about anxiety and depression, It's almost
• 6:11
  like now we're so open about talking about that, but inherent in that could be so many
• 6:17
  variations within that whether a basement situation was biological, lots of variations.
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  And I think in the corporate world, Kirk, kind of like, well, I should be be able being able
• 6:28
  to address if someone is depressed or anxious, but that seems to be the one kind of
• 6:33
  conversation that's getting more open, if that makes sense, Kristen, compared to seeing there.
• 6:40
  Yeah.
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  If I'm on the spectrum and I say I've got some issues with autism that would put to that would
• 6:46
  be something that most people would kind of shy away from and say, how is it that I deal with
• 6:52
  someone if they yeah.
• 6:55
  Especially autism is a really interesting one because the it is a spectrum.
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  It is a one presentation.
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  And it is a wide spectrum.
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  And and I I like to say that it's not a linear one.
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  It's not you know, you may hear people saying high functioning, low functioning.
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  We hate those terms, you know, you can't we're all functioning.
• 7:13
  Thank you very much.
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  But it we function in different ways, and sometimes the world is not built for the ways
• 7:19
  that we function.
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  So some autistic folks are non speaking.
• 7:24
  For example, it doesn't mean they're non thinking.
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  It doesn't mean they're non experiencing.
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  They just may not speak.
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  Others may present more strongly as anxious.
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  There there's a huge overlap with autism, especially 70 to 80 percent of autistic
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  individuals across all age groups.
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  Report anxiety and depression.
• 7:46
  Mhmm.
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  That's a huge percentage.
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  So the lines again start to blur.
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  So I say it's not a linear spectrum.
• 7:52
  It's really more like a wild mix of old timing knobs.
• 7:56
  I'm I'm picturing one of these, like, almost like an airplane controller.
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  You know, you've got all the different knobs and dials, and they're all tuned to something
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  different.
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  One of them might be social skills and one might be seeking.
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  And one might be data processing.
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  And we're all tuned a little bit differently, which does make it tricky.
• 8:14
  For employers, especially because they I think it's an acute natural human tendency to want to
• 8:20
  categorize people, to want to understand There's this type of person, and they need this
• 8:25
  accommodation.
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  And then this type of person over here needs this accommodation, but it's not It's not as
• 8:31
  clean as that.
• 8:32
  I think that's why this topic is a little scary for people.
• 8:35
  It is.
• 8:36
  It is an, a scary topic a lot of people want to know more, but I think sometimes people don't
• 8:42
  know which where do they go to get more?
• 8:44
  So let's let's go back and flip back to your story.
• 8:46
  So when Tell us a bit about your story and when you started to recognize that you had some
• 8:54
  divergence and we didn't have words like that.
• 8:58
  When I was growing up, so I was simply weird.
• 9:02
  And sometimes that worked.
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  You know, I eventually fell in the theater kids, and then that kinda worked perfectly
• 9:07
  fine.
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  But it was a little rocky off the bat.
• 9:10
  I'll be honest.
• 9:11
  I had a bit of speech impediment for quite some time.
• 9:14
  So I had to go I was pulled out a class to go into 2 special classes.
• 9:19
  And then on the flip side, was labeled as gifted early on, which is a loaded term.
• 9:25
  And again, pulled out of class and put into a special program as well.
• 9:30
  Which is, you know, murder on your social life when you're 9, to be pulled out of class on the
• 9:37
  regular, others you very quickly, and with all good intentions.
• 9:42
  It was all good intentions in the eighties, but it it definitely others you.
• 9:48
  And it was I I always managed to find the 1 or 2 people I could kinda glum onto that that had
• 9:56
  similar brain function to me, but never understood by or in reverse.
• 10:01
  I never understood the majority, was always on the fringe.
• 10:07
  I found and and even dance, I'll be honest.
• 10:09
  I did not enjoy dance class for a very long time, which is a really weird thing to say when
• 10:14
  it's such a huge part of my life, but I was still the weird one.
• 10:18
  It's not like that went away when I went to dance class.
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  I was the weird I was the weird kid in the back.
• 10:23
  So I I kept myself.
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  A lot because it was safer than saying something wrong that could get you into a lot
• 10:32
  of trouble.
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  With the wrong crowd.
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  And it was mid teens that I found theater.
• 10:39
  And eventually, my theater would like my like, merged, but, it took masking to the max,
• 10:45
  really.
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  A masking is a term we use, in the neurodivergent community to mean perfecting a a
• 10:53
  public face to appear more neurotypical.
• 10:57
  And most of us do that by studying everyone around us and mirroring speech patterns,
• 11:04
  behaviors, facial expressions, even that we see neurotypical folks doing, and we just learn to
• 11:10
  put that on for survival.
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  And theater gave me a chance to be all types of different people in an environment that was
• 11:19
  encouraged And that got me through with my sort of theater kids, the band kids.
• 11:26
  That that was my my survival for sure.
• 11:29
  Getting into the working world.
• 11:32
  Yeah.
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  Man, it was Rocky.
• 11:33
  My my resume looks more like a menu.
• 11:36
  I would jump from career to career to career because things would eventually get weird.
• 11:41
  They would get awkward.
• 11:42
  They would get difficult.
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  And it's not that I wasn't smart.
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  It's not that I wasn't fiercely determined to succeed no matter what I did.
• 11:52
  And I would reach certain level of success, but it would take everything out of me to do it.
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  And I'd burn up.
• 11:59
  I get, you know, 12, 18 months into a career and just completely flat burnout and not know
• 12:06
  what else to do other than submit my resolution.
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  So at one point confused.
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  Yeah.
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  Confused supervisors about that.
• 12:14
  Yeah.
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  Was there anybody along the way in in the work environment?
• 12:19
  I shouldn't say anybody.
• 12:20
  Were there a handful potentially that said there's a different need here?
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  Because if you didn't identify with whatever the issue was Right.
• 12:29
  You'd be leaving this difficult, yes, unmanageable for their guidance does not hit
• 12:35
  outcomes.
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  All of that in subordinate was one that would come up a lot.
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  They would I was accused of wanting things my own way.
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  And I was Big time people pleaser.
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  So my old way didn't even factor into it.
• 12:50
  I was just so desperate to find a way to succeed and to do things well that I question
• 12:56
  things and poke holes of things and knew I was struggling, but didn't have the vocabulary.
• 13:02
  Didn't have the awareness to know why.
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  And that over the years, just compounded and compounded compounded.
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  And, like, they just my doctors never flagged it.
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  I mean, why would they dispute you for 5 minutes out of the year?
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  But it was just never flagged.
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  Until of all places and internet forum.
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  I would have been about 30, I guess, at this point, and was just drawing on about something
• 13:37
  in this forum.
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  I don't even remember what, but I I guess I've been going back to the same topic again and
• 13:44
  again, week after week after week and was just spiraling, spiraling, spiraling, finally
• 13:49
  somebody wrote to me on the form.
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  I developed some friends on there, and somebody wrote to me on there and said, hey, I'm gonna
• 13:56
  say this with with all respect to economists, but I think it's it's time to consider talking
• 14:01
  to a therapist.
• 14:05
  And I was horribly embarrassed, of course, and and logged out of the forum, but I did.
• 14:11
  And that started a 10 year journey of self discovery and diagnoses and full spiraling, but
• 14:20
  I'm it would have happened anyway, and at least the way it happens, I was already in the
• 14:26
  system.
• 14:28
  So support was thankfully available because if I hadn't been I don't think we'll be having
• 14:35
  this conversation team.
• 14:37
  Yeah.
• 14:37
  Yeah.
• 14:38
  So somewhere along the line, somebody noticed something and was brave enough to say, Hey,
• 14:44
  Kristen, to give you a tap to say, and of all the places.
• 14:47
  Right?
• 14:47
  We never know when we're gonna get the support we need.
• 14:51
  Right?
• 14:51
  And on an on on a forum, and then you you started on your path of of recovery.
• 14:57
  And I I would say in my role in the past as a psychotherapist, people are afraid of people
• 15:03
  like me.
• 15:04
  And, you know, and I I don't think I'm a pretty scary person, Kristen, but I would joke when in
• 15:09
  practice, that's one thing.
• 15:10
  Right?
• 15:10
  Like, people come in and they are anxious, and they would be beside themselves.
• 15:13
  And and I often say to them that's normal.
• 15:15
  If you weren't anxious, I would be worried.
• 15:18
  But in social settings, oftentimes, people would be, like, claring, like, a little bit of
• 15:22
  a radius around me once they figured out what I did.
• 15:25
  So I would actually say I was a therapist, and then they would say physiotherapist.
• 15:31
  And I would say, oh, sure.
• 15:32
  Sure.
• 15:33
  And then they asked something about physiotherapy, and then I would get stuck And
• 15:37
  then I'm like, geez.
• 15:38
  Now I gotta mix something up because I don't owe anything because so there there is still
• 15:42
  even now, you'll, you know, I think we're very in a good space in the world about therapy, but
• 15:49
  it's still people kinda go, oh, so, like, you know, you're reading me.
• 15:53
  And I'm like, no.
• 15:55
  I'm not.
• 15:55
  Like, because people think that you're on in that spectrum when you're out in the world.
• 16:00
  And in fact, I'm just being me.
• 16:02
  Yeah.
• 16:03
  There is that.
• 16:05
  There is there is that fear that people have, but the guidance clearly that you bought has
• 16:11
  brought you to what, you know, being able to speak on international stages to share, to
• 16:16
  educate, to give people things through your adversity, which I'm sure at at times when
• 16:23
  you're going through it, when you fast forward, did you think you would end up on a on a stage.
• 16:28
  No.
• 16:29
  How does it ever the plan?
• 16:31
  Oh my gosh.
• 16:31
  No.
• 16:32
  No.
• 16:33
  And even, you know, as things went along and I started to be able to open up to the odd friend
• 16:40
  or family member a little bit, That was still enough of a challenge.
• 16:44
  I was still very much trying to keep all the realities in I was my job I was a showgirl.
• 16:53
  My job was to make people smile.
• 16:55
  My job was to entertain.
• 16:57
  So tell me about that reality.
• 16:58
  Tell me about the
• 16:59
  Oh my god.
• 17:00
  Okay.
• 17:01
  So, like, I mean, whether you wanna get the diagnosis was or whatever, but just give me
• 17:05
  that internal play.
• 17:07
  Of what would be happening as you're getting treatment, as you meet with this therapist, as
• 17:12
  you develop, because we know it takes a long time for you
• 17:15
  to take that card.
• 17:16
  And you try to get better, but you're you're working.
• 17:19
  So what's happening through?
• 17:22
  When I go to the of course, what are we looking for at the theater?
• 17:25
  We're looking for perfection and we want high energy and we want everything perfect.
• 17:30
  So what's happening in your head?
• 17:32
  That point.
• 17:32
  I used to say that I survived on a diet of guilt and obligation.
• 17:36
  Wow.
• 17:36
  Because I owed it to the audience, the whether it was a theater audience or a core at 1 at a
• 17:42
  gallow, wherever I was dancing that and performing, but they didn't come to see
• 17:47
  Kristen.
• 17:48
  They came to see a show.
• 17:51
  And the problem I could I could switch into go mode.
• 17:57
  No problem.
• 17:57
  You put on a you know, makeup and curlers that, you know, no problem.
• 18:01
  I'm playing a character out.
• 18:03
  I go.
• 18:03
  I'm a 1920 show girl.
• 18:05
  Here we are.
• 18:07
  The problem was that the lines blurred between that and actual me to the point where I was
• 18:13
  just playing a character 247.
• 18:18
  And they were slightly different characters, but none of it was authentically me.
• 18:25
  And I don't even think I could have been.
• 18:28
  I don't even think I knew how to be authenticating me at the time because I've been
• 18:34
  in survival mode for so long, and people love the showgirl personality.
• 18:39
  Everyone smiled and cheered and laughed, and it was great.
• 18:43
  I mean, my Dance classes were always full.
• 18:47
  So it was a positive reinforcement loop.
• 18:49
  You know?
• 18:49
  And then every now and again, you'd you'd let out a little bit of the real self and people
• 18:53
  would recoil.
• 18:54
  Just like like you talk about having the the sphere around you that nobody wanted to
• 18:59
  approach once I knew you were a psychotherapist.
• 19:01
  It it it's very much the same if they know you're different, whether that's depression or
• 19:08
  autistic or whatever whatever mix you happen to be, if people know you're different and they
• 19:13
  don't understand, they step back.
• 19:16
  And I can remember trying to let a guard down with someone I was dating around 2015 ish 2014,
• 19:26
  somewhere around there.
• 19:28
  And I've been trying to start letting my guard down and actually Let him get to know who I
• 19:35
  was.
• 19:36
  And that crashing burns so horribly in my face.
• 19:40
  He he said to me one night, you know, you're so much more fun with your friends.
• 19:45
  I don't know why you deny that side of yourself for me.
• 19:48
  And that solidified in my mind at the time, wrong as I was.
• 19:54
  It solidified in my mind.
• 19:57
  That only one version of me was socially acceptable, was publicly acceptable.
• 20:05
  And that was set.
• 20:08
  The problem when you are playing a character 247 is it is exhausting.
• 20:17
  And eventually, that catches up with you.
• 20:21
  So that that space to just be you is something that, you know, we don't think about.
• 20:28
  Right?
• 20:28
  I I think, you know, I am, you know, Roxanne will tricky girl from a Caribbean island and
• 20:34
  grew up in a family of 6 and, you know, within perfect stuff happening and all those things.
• 20:40
  But I am who I am in the world.
• 20:43
  Not thinking, right, about it, really, but what you're saying is, like, on any on every I'm
• 20:48
  gonna say on a visceral level.
• 20:50
  Yeah.
• 20:51
  You were trying to pretend or you said you put on the mask to be able to be accepted, and that
• 20:58
  they did the dangers.
• 20:59
  We all want that that stickiness of belonging somewhere.
• 21:04
  Of
• 21:04
  course.
• 21:05
  Thanks human nature.
• 21:06
  Absolutely.
• 21:07
  Absolutely.
• 21:08
  We all need to find that spot.
• 21:09
  And you said your work started to work through it.
• 21:13
  Were you able to kind of find out who, you know, who Christine was from the beginning and
• 21:20
  who she could be and get comfortable with in the world.
• 21:23
  And I'm sure that impacted the people around you.
• 21:26
  Yeah.
• 21:27
  That that maybe got to know the certain versions that you put out there And the people
• 21:32
  that ended up staying were the people that really, I would say, and Utah, correct me if
• 21:38
  I'm wrong, the with the people that really cared for who you really were as a person.
• 21:42
  100%.
• 21:43
  And they'll tell me now.
• 21:45
  They're very honest with me now.
• 21:47
  That they like this version much better because people may not necessarily have the words say,
• 21:55
  hey.
• 21:55
  You appear to be masking right now.
• 21:57
  This isn't actually you.
• 21:59
  That may not come across, but what they'll feel is uneasy.
• 22:03
  There's something arm's length about your interactions, and they'll feel uneasy about it
• 22:08
  and maybe uneasy about themselves in the interaction, and therefore, we'll be less
• 22:13
  inclined to get close to you.
• 22:15
  And a few folks have been very, very honest with me in recent years to say that I'm much
• 22:22
  more relatable now, and that's more comfortable and refreshing.
• 22:27
  And I I would say I would say that.
• 22:29
  I wouldn't have I wouldn't have.
• 22:30
  Yeah.
• 22:31
  You would have been like, what are you talking about?
• 22:32
  But I I I would go back to the concept of mirror neurons because I'm trying to kind of
• 22:38
  read your internal world and and but you're flitty.
• 22:40
  Right?
• 22:41
  Like, yeah.
• 22:42
  I'm gonna feel it, and it's gonna make me on comfortable and then I because I'm trying to
• 22:46
  calibrate to you if I'm in interaction with you.
• 22:49
  Right?
• 22:49
  And if if I feel like you're you're kind of moving around, I'm gonna always be on steady.
• 22:53
  And then if I'm not feeling kind of safe in the space, then I'm not I'm not gonna come to words
• 22:58
  as much.
• 22:59
  So understandable that and and great that you have people in your world.
• 23:04
  I mean, we all should have people in our world that are able to call us out to say, hey.
• 23:09
  You're not, you know, in goodness, right, that way.
• 23:11
  Absolutely.
• 23:12
  The growth,
• 23:12
  the goodness, we're honest people.
• 23:15
  The growth that happens in relationships.
• 23:17
  So let's let's flip back to the, you know, the workplace again.
• 23:20
  Yeah.
• 23:21
  But is it, you know, whether it's supervisors or managers or leaders that are watching us to
• 23:27
  have this chat?
• 23:29
  What is it that you wish that people would have noticed along the way that might have been able
• 23:37
  to help others that they may be dealing with now, what kinds of things would you want them
• 23:42
  to consider in their roles?
• 23:47
  It's the fallacy of the one right way.
• 23:50
  Yeah.
• 23:51
  I think for a long time, and even still today in many situations, there's a belief that
• 23:58
  there's only one correct way to do things.
• 24:02
  Only one correct way to be professional.
• 24:05
  And that if you don't naturally fall into those particular tendencies that you are there for or
• 24:12
  wrong.
• 24:13
  And if I could make any wish and I don't I don't fault my previous supervisors.
• 24:18
  I I didn't have the vocabulary.
• 24:20
  How can I expect them to?
• 24:23
  But if I could redo everything, if I could go back in time, I'd wish that could have
• 24:30
  cultivated some sort of understanding that we can come to a successful outcome no matter
• 24:38
  which path we take.
• 24:40
  And that there are completely different ways to go about solving the same problem in work in
• 24:46
  business.
• 24:48
  And it's still be correct.
• 24:50
  That could be 7 different correct.
• 24:51
  At my current job, I I I do a little activity with folks during onboarding to demonstrate
• 24:57
  this.
• 24:58
  Recently, I trained and and, became a facilitator in Allego, seriously.
• 25:06
  Which is what it sounds like.
• 25:07
  It is you're playing with Legos, but you're doing it for business purposes.
• 25:11
  And, we do something a classic activity from from Lego called Watheduck.
• 25:18
  And what it involves is everyone in the onboarding session on their first day, are
• 25:24
  handed to the same 6 Lego bricks.
• 25:27
  Just 6.
• 25:28
  Mhmm.
• 25:28
  Specific mix of 6.
• 25:30
  Some of them are yellow, some of our red.
• 25:32
  One of them has a single eyeball stuck to the side of it, and they are given 1 minute and one
• 25:38
  instruction, which is build a duck.
• 25:41
  Any duck.
• 25:43
  And inevitably, what happens every single time is you end up with, you know, 6, 7 different
• 25:47
  ducks.
• 25:49
  Because there are thousands of possibilities.
• 25:52
  Oh, wow.
• 25:53
  But the point is we're given the same instruction, the same materials, and the same
• 25:58
  time constraints.
• 26:00
  And yet still, you'll end up with an infinite amount of answers.
• 26:07
  And it just so perfectly demonstrates diversity of thought, diversity of approach, diversity of
• 26:13
  minds, and how we go about these things without having to explain it with graphs and charts in
• 26:20
  6 different ways.
• 26:20
  And simply building a dot on a lingo makes it a Fundamentally clear.
• 26:24
  How powerful, though?
• 26:26
  Like, you know, is it you'd be like that in your first name?
• 26:30
  Or or or that's a really good dApp.
• 26:32
  I didn't see that
• 26:34
  Well, and the rule is they're all dots.
• 26:35
  We, you know, you say it's not easy to use.
• 26:37
  Nobody criticized.
• 26:39
  You're probably looking at someone's Lego and going, wow.
• 26:42
  That's amazing that they can see certain things.
• 26:45
  So what a powerful way to demonstrate it to your point when we speak or train or have
• 26:50
  meetings and we're doing our pie charts or graphs and graphics and PowerPoints.
• 26:55
  It's a different thing, but this is reality right in front of you.
• 26:59
  Like, wow, this is this is Power Now you're you speak and train and do consulting in
• 27:06
  environments like this.
• 27:07
  Again, tell me what the reality is in the workplaces out there now.
• 27:12
  And so that's I have a sense of what what you're seeing out there.
• 27:17
  And so much goodwill, so many good intentions.
• 27:23
  I think the message has gotten across in the last especially the last 5 years with the
• 27:29
  pandemic with everything that we collectively went through there, that mental health is
• 27:36
  crucial.
• 27:37
  It's not a side project.
• 27:38
  It's not just your ERG.
• 27:39
  It it is crucial to the success of your organization and your people.
• 27:44
  And it's in the last year or 2 that I'm finally starting to see neurodiversity bundled in.
• 27:53
  With that conversation.
• 27:54
  It's still being viewed very much as a separate issue, which I argue it isn't.
• 28:01
  I argue that you have to tackle both.
• 28:04
  There's just too many overlaps.
• 28:05
  If if 70 to 80% of neurodivergent folks are also experiencing depression or anxiety, It's a
• 28:11
  collective issue.
• 28:13
  Right.
• 28:14
  And psychological safety affects every single one of your people, regardless of any diagnosis
• 28:19
  or any personal trauma that they may be experiencing.
• 28:21
  So these are no longer just side projects that you task a little, you know, employee resource
• 28:28
  group with is now essential to business success.
• 28:33
  Has to be a strategy that's one of the main business objectives, period.
• 28:37
  And Yeah.
• 28:38
  You know, we talk about psychological safety.
• 28:40
  We talk about diversity in, you know, gender identity.
• 28:44
  We're getting we're getting better.
• 28:45
  We're getting better.
• 28:48
  But at the end
• 28:49
  of the day,
• 28:49
  and, you know, when I talk about my concept to the the ROR and return our relationships, I
• 28:53
  always go heart to heart You know, if we can deconstruct all the stuff that gets between
• 28:59
  human beings and we tell them just to synchronize, to what is in front of them, how
• 29:06
  powerful that is, you know, because like you are myself, like we're women, and we have a cup
• 29:12
  a couple of things in common, but we are so different.
• 29:16
  Right?
• 29:16
  So when we get to that space of really just wanting to know the individual in front of you,
• 29:23
  how powerful that could be, you know, and but that talk that takes skill development in
• 29:28
  leaders and supervisors as managers.
• 29:31
  And so how about an accident?
• 29:33
  Yeah.
• 29:34
  It won't have it has to be definitely very strategic.
• 29:37
  So for the leaders or the CEOs out there that are listening to us, if you could give them a
• 29:45
  call to action or some things for them to to think about in the neurodiversity realm.
• 29:53
  Yeah.
• 29:53
  What what what would you impart onto them?
• 29:56
  I'm gonna get 2 because I think they're equally important.
• 30:00
  One is something to let go of and one is something to actively do.
• 30:05
  The one to let go of is any internal pressure you may feel to be an expert on ADHD, to be an
• 30:13
  expert on dyspraxia, to be an expert on any of these diagnoses because Truth is you may never
• 30:19
  know the specifics that any of your people are dealing with, and neither was it technically
• 30:24
  any of your business.
• 30:25
  So we don't need to know a person's diagnosis to know how to support them.
• 30:30
  And we the way we do that, and this is number 2, is with this most simple of questions, that
• 30:37
  if you can work this into every one or one that you have, just let it be there.
• 30:42
  Let people trust that it'll always be there.
• 30:46
  End everyone on one with this How can I best support you?
• 30:51
  Mhmm.
• 30:52
  How can we support you to be at your best?
• 30:55
  At first, they may always answer with, oh, no.
• 30:57
  I'm fine.
• 30:57
  Everything's great.
• 30:58
  No problem.
• 30:59
  But eventually as trust builds, and the more you ask that question, the more trust will
• 31:04
  build, they may answer you.
• 31:07
  And it may be something simple.
• 31:08
  Like, oh, it's hard to focus in in this where my desk is.
• 31:12
  Can I move to a different area of the office?
• 31:14
  Or the 8 AM start is a bit of a trick.
• 31:18
  Can I switch to 9 to 5 instead of 8 to 4 or vice versa?
• 31:24
  What works for your workplace is is going to be, you know, is different than it's, grains of
• 31:30
  sand.
• 31:30
  But if you can just build that trust between, I'd say, direct managers and their teams.
• 31:39
  The best place to do that because as a a director with, you know, 50, 60, 700 people
• 31:44
  under you, it gets a little tricky.
• 31:46
  But if each direct manager Can ask that question of their teammates on the regular that
• 31:52
  trust will build, psychological safety will build, And then your folks will feel empowered
• 31:59
  to tell you when they need something, and it's that's when the magic happens.
• 32:04
  One of our little tip-off throw in.
• 32:06
  It it's just universal learning, right, universal design, having things in place that
• 32:11
  allow folks to customize their work experience as they need to day to day because as you know,
• 32:19
  as a therapist, we're not always identical to day it.
• 32:22
  Each day, you know, Tuesday, I might have absolutely no focus, but Wednesday, I'll be
• 32:26
  hyper focused and absolutely no laser to go to some things.
• 32:30
  So having different software in place, for example, that folks can tap in or tap out of as
• 32:36
  they need to having a certain degree of workplace flexibility, there's all kinds of
• 32:42
  things that can be done to build that trust and flexibility into your workplace without the
• 32:49
  bottom line suffering without it costing a ton of money without losing focus of what your
• 32:53
  business actually is.
• 32:55
  Yeah.
• 32:55
  You're the person who's arguing with the power.
• 32:58
  Oh, powerful stuff, Kristen.
• 33:01
  I think we can we can have so much more of a conversation So for people that are out there
• 33:06
  and they're thinking, how do I how do I connect?
• 33:09
  How do I get her to come in and speak or or to talk strategy.
• 33:14
  Why don't you tell people a bit about your business and the way they can get ahold of you
• 33:18
  and some of the services that you offer?
• 33:20
  Sure.
• 33:20
  I'm pretty easy to find those one other Kristen Light that I've ever found on the internet.
• 33:25
  So christenlight.ca is my website.
• 33:26
  You don't see all about me and the different types of talks, etcetera, that I do there.
• 33:31
  And on LinkedIn, I am most active there, Kristen, ME Light, as well on LinkedIn.
• 33:37
  Mostly what I'm doing at the moment is workshops, speaking keynote addresses, things
• 33:43
  like that.
• 33:43
  I speak primarily on the psychological safety, neurodiversity overlap, as well as on suicide
• 33:51
  prevention and the aftermath of lived experience in that realm as well.
• 33:56
  I'm actually on a grant program right now.
• 34:00
  Developing a neuro inclusion program for the Canadian construction industry.
• 34:05
  So if that is your your field, we should definitely talk.
• 34:09
  Jot me online because I I'm working with the Canadian Association of Supported Employment on
• 34:14
  that, and we've made huge strides at the organization that I've heard with during day.
• 34:20
  So I'm really proud of that one.
• 34:22
  Actually, that's coming together really well.
• 34:23
  But, yeah, definitely get in touch.
• 34:24
  I I am terrible at reaching out myself, so please initiate and I'll be happy to respond.
• 34:31
  Awesome.
• 34:32
  Well, Kristen, again, thanks so much for coming on today.
• 34:35
  So I wanna What am I worth walking away with?
• 34:38
  I think that we all wanna fit.
• 34:41
  Yeah.
• 34:41
  So in our roles in in whatever realm you are going out there in the world, Whether you're
• 34:47
  the senior leader, the manager, the frontline peer, I think of that little girl, like you
• 34:52
  said, at school, that all of us were of them wanted to just have that couple of buddies to
• 34:58
  be able to, you know, hang out with.
• 35:00
  Think, yeah, in your world, who needs what and try to take one small act towards including
• 35:07
  that person today.
• 35:09
  Just one small thing.
• 35:10
  And and for the for the senior leaders and CEOs, think of your strategy.
• 35:16
  How is it that you are thinking of that 20, percent is a 20% person that you're saying that
• 35:26
  might have a diagnosis.
• 35:27
  You're How are you preparing as you are looking at your strategic plans for the year?
• 35:33
  And where are you?
• 35:34
  What is your reality?
• 35:35
  And if your reality is I'm not so sure.
• 35:38
  That's something that's telling you.
• 35:39
  You really need to address these concerns.
• 35:42
  So for everyone, you know, whatever you're needing from me, you know, I've read my new
• 35:46
  book, RRO return on relationships.
• 35:48
  If you're curious about how authentically connected you are in your relationships, And
• 35:52
  you can just go to Roxanne dot com forward slash quiz.
• 35:56
  There's a little mini quiz that you can take and we'll look either at your business
• 36:01
  relationships or your personal relationships.
• 36:02
  So send you a little assessment with some, outcomes and some next steps.
• 36:08
  So, Kristen, thanks so much and for everyone.
• 36:10
  Thanks for hanging out with us again.
• 36:12
  I will chat again with you next week.
• 36:13
  Take care.
• 36:22
  Thanks for tuning in to authentic living with Roxanne.
• 36:26
  Cree the space for positive roxannederhaj.com/blueprint.
• 36:39
  We'll see you next time.
• 36:41
  An authentic living with Roxanne.