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Finding Hope and Transformation in the midst of Desperation: Wesley Keziah · Nightmare Success In and Out

0:01
What happens when your worst fear becomes your reality?
0:04
Hi, I'm Brent Cassidy, welcome to the Nightmare Success In and
0:07
Out podcast where we explore how to overcome your fears and
0:11
nightmares to set yourself free. We're going to be exploring this
0:14
topic with guys that was in Leavenworth with and others who
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survived their own right there. These stories can be inspiring,
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sometimes sad. There's some humor, and
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hopefully you can come away with a nugget of something that'll
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help you knock down some of the prisons you built up in your own
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mind. All right, Welcome back.
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Nightmare success. In-n-out listeners.
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We're back. That's where you come from.
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What happens when your worst fear becomes your reality?
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How do you adapt, survive, overcome, set yourself free?
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Hey, don't forget to hit that follow button.
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Subscribe, share, like comment. It helps us show guys.
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I've got a, I've got a great guest and I want to give a shout
0:54
out to Jeremy Larson because he actually connected Wesley and me
1:00
and I so appreciate that. Jeremy's done that a couple of
1:03
times. He connected me to Damon W,
1:05
which was a great connect, Great guest too.
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So my guest, Wesley, is it. I want to make sure I pronounce
1:14
the name. Is it Kazaya Isaiah Kazaya?
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Because I well, I'm glad I asked because I always mess up the
1:20
last name. Because I had Wesley Kazai.
1:22
To figure it out too. All right, well, Wesley, I got
1:28
to tell you his story and if you want to catch Wesley, he's got a
1:32
great following on Tiktok and also on Instagram and Facebook
1:37
and what all all those things he does, he's on there all the
1:39
time. He's got a he's got an
1:41
incredible following. He's got good stuff that he gets
1:43
out there, but he's got an organization it's called Ground
1:49
40. And the reason why I think it is
1:53
so effective is, is that Wesley's story is so inspiring.
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His, his story of being arrested 82 times in the 82nd time in
2:05
jail, he figures it out and he doesn't want 80 and, and his
2:09
whole life changes And, and then he creates this wonderful
2:14
organization that is helping men transition back into community
2:19
from homelessness, addiction, incarceration.
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And it's got like a three-step way of getting them back into
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it's, it's, it's the farm. He's going to, I'm going to let
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him talk about all this, the farm, the ranch, the homes.
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And it's all stepping back into community in a way that doesn't
2:34
push somebody too fast, gives them all the resources to get,
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you know, surround themselves in the community.
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It's, it's just really, really good stuff.
2:42
I can't wait to jump into all this with Wesley.
2:45
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Tell them Brent from Nightmare Success sent you.
3:25
Wesley, welcome in, my man. Thank you so much for making
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time to be here. I know you're a busy man.
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It's all right. It's all right.
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It's always a good time to talk about the Lord, you know.
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Well, I mean, and everything that you're doing, Wesley, is
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all about you having this, you know, conversion that happened
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to you. But I want to take us back in
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time. What was what was life like for
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you as a kid growing up? Yeah, being Wesley.
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I yeah, I got to be a I got to be real honest with you.
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It wasn't easy believism for me to believe in the Lord when you
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come from a upbringing that I come from.
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My father was an alcoholic. His father had a gambling
4:09
addiction. And by the time I was five years
4:12
old, being the youngest child of three, my parents just could, I
4:17
could not, they could not maintain their marriage anymore.
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My father could barely maintain sobriety at all.
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So when I was 5, they separated. And the strange thing about my
4:30
father's house going there every other weekend, it was it was my
4:32
safe place. And I don't say this to shame
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anybody or to blame anybody, but I began to be molested in my
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home from a very young age, from from five years old until I was
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about 13. And you know, we grow up in the
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South. You grow up in the Bible Belt.
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You hear about Jesus. You hear about the way Jesus
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loves you. You hear about the church being
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the place to go with all these problems.
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But I I started to recognize at a very early age that my kind of
5:03
problems weren't well spoken about in the church.
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He just kind of kept those covered up.
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The problem when you start sweeping those kind of problems
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under the rug, eventually the rug's going to catch on fire.
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Anybody know about this, Wesley? We just live in there with this
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all alone. I live with this alone for the
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most part, and anytime I tried to speak on it, you know,
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Southern families don't really like things to be promoted.
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So we we kept it under the rug. When I was 10 years old, I was
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sat down on my uncle's couch and I was told that the the place of
5:40
refuge, my father's house would no longer be an option for me
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because he would have to be registered as a sex offender for
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things that he did. So at 10 years old, my safe
5:50
place was at a House of a registered sex offender and it
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was taken away from me. And we had, you know, we had
5:57
supervised visitations, but he stayed so inebriated during
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those visitations that we wouldn't go for months at a time
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because the the supervisor thought it was unsafe for us to
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go down there. When I turned 13 years old, I
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got really angry, depressed and started to act out.
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And my mom, which is a good Mama, let me, let me back up.
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My Mama was a good Mama. She was a terrible father.
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She, she was. And I think that's, I think
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that's the generation we're in right now where Mamas have to
6:30
step into a role that is not their mom, not their job.
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It's not their role to be daddy. And, and kids don't know how to
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interact with a mom who's standing in the wrong position.
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And it caused a lot of hate and frustration in our relationship.
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It it damaged it. Wesley was on the sex offender
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thing. Was it?
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Was it the uncle that was a registered sex offender?
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Or it was my dad. Your dad was a registered.
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OK. Yeah, that's so.
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That is so deep and and I don't even know how a kid gets his
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mind around that. You don't at that age, at any
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age, but at that age. Particularly it was, it was
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crazy because it was one conversation, hey, you can't go
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to your dad's house anymore. It was very detailed to a 10
7:13
year old. My brother was three years older
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to the day and my sister was three years older than him.
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So we're sitting down. I was 10, he was 13.
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She was probably 16 or 17 at the time.
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And we were just like, yeah, this is what your dad did.
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This is what he's charged for. This is what the convictions
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going to look like. And you can't go back down there
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right now. And that lasted that that
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separation lasted for a whole year.
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And then supervised visitations, you know, were given back to us.
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And I, for three years, never got an opportunity to sit down
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and talk to anybody about what really happened till I turned
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13. And my mom ends up kicking me
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out. You know, I'm smoking pot when
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I'm thirteen years old. I'm I'm becoming everything
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about my dad that I hate everything.
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I mean, he's still my dad, so I loved him as my dad.
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But there was a lot about this man that I hated his addiction,
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I hated his uninvolvement, I hated and I stepped back into
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becoming him at a very a young. Age.
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Was school any refuge for you at all or not?
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Man, so when I got kicked out of my dad's, my mom's house, I
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moved into my dad's house, I switched schools.
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You go to a public school system and your father's a registered
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sex offender. The.
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The murmurs and the gossip and the avoidance from other kids.
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Like I was like I had done. Something.
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Yeah, like you had leprosy. Yeah, I, I was a black sheep,
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not only in my family, but in any arena that I stepped in.
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And I only seemed to make relationships with other black
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sheep just a very difficult life.
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By the time I was 16, I, I tried crack cocaine, cocaine.
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By the time I was 18, it was methamphetamines and I had
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dropped out of school. By the time I was 19, I had a
9:08
kid on the way and had started I being heroin.
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I maintained for a while in my addiction where people didn't
9:16
really know the extent of what I was doing.
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Everybody knew I was. I was probably crossing too many
9:21
lines. And you know, for the most part,
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I wasn't completely shunned, but there was still some separation
9:27
between me and my family. This is probably like your great
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escape of it was getting into that world.
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Mana. Drugs and and getting away from
9:38
what you were having to deal with in the real world.
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A lot of people when they share their testimony of addiction,
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they say, you know, I hated getting high.
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That's not true. You hate the after effects, you
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you hate the results of it. But in that time in my life, it
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was the only thing that was there for me.
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My addiction would seem like it would never go anywhere.
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And you know, you start going to NA and a a when you're really
10:03
young and they start telling you, you know, once an addict,
10:06
always an addict, you just got to figure out how to deal with
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it. And I believe that.
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I believe that. And when you start to believe
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that, that really does take all the hope out of the room.
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By the time I was 21 had another kid on the way, 22 had my
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daughter on the way. Full blown heroin addict and the
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neglectful. Did you?
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Did you? Feel like Wesley at that point
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as you were because I, I think I, I was reading where you when
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you got to marijuana, you actually how you one of the
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things it was laced with cocaine and that kind of brought you
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even further in even not even really thinking about how that
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was the next step. But did you think at 2122 when
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you were having kids and all this was going on around you,
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was it like I'm deep into off the rails?
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Or did you think that you were somehow keeping it together?
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Honestly, I, I, my perception in the way that I gauged my life
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was always looked at my father and I said, at least I'm not
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passed out, at least I'm not drunk, at least I'm not a sex
11:09
offender, at least I'm not doing this.
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And I honestly thought I'm going to do OK, I'm going to be OK
11:15
through this. And even in my addiction in the
11:18
early, you know, 21222324, I thought I still had some kind of
11:23
grip on reality. You know, I'd started getting
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arrested when I was 19 years old for credit card fraud and just
11:31
stupid little things. What was that like for you that
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you know that that that event of, you know, the moment you get
11:37
arrested the first time as a kid, you get brought in, you get
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processed through. Was that scary to you or was it
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just kind of like you were just living it?
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I was scared to death and and it it didn't happen.
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It was not an outer body experience.
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I was first person to everything I did and everything I felt
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because, you know, you hear the stories of jail, you hear the
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stories of prison and you get there and you're looking at
12:03
other men who were now about to become inmates and you're in the
12:08
same room with them. And worst case scenario goes
12:11
through your mind. What if I go in this place and I
12:13
don't come out? You know, your first time in
12:14
jail, you don't know any better. So the first time I go in, I'll
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tell you, it's a it's kind of a humorous story, but it's really
12:20
not funny if you if you think about it.
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The first time I go in there, they took us to process them.
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And the officer asked us, does anybody feel like hurting
12:29
themselves? And I was like, yeah, you know,
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I've battled with depression my whole life.
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Yeah. I really, I really could see
12:35
myself doing something at this point in my life that this is
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where I'm at because it's not where I wanted to be.
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I think a lot of times people look at addicts and be like,
12:43
well, they're getting what they want.
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That's not true. That's not true at all.
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So I told this man that I was feeling a little suicidal and he
12:51
left me sitting on the bench and processing.
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And I thought, well, this is weird.
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They dressed 13 other guys out. They take them beyond processing
13:00
into segregation. And he comes back and gets me.
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And I assumed that he was. I don't know why I thought this.
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I thought he's going to Take Me Home, let me go.
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Just because it's over. I don't know what that's why I
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thought for, but that's not what happened.
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They put me in an outfit and they call it a turtle suit.
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And basically it's a safety outfit that you can't RIP or
13:18
tear or hurt yourself with in any way.
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And they put me in a little 8 by 8 room with no toilet.
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There's a hole in the floor and the officers, you know, they
13:29
were responsible for flushing the the toilet and I and I ate
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food out of a Styrofoam plate for seven days.
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When they put me in there, I asked the officer, how long do I
13:39
stay? They said until you talk to a
13:41
therapist, you have to stay in here.
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I said, OK, cool, I'm ready to talk to one.
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They said, well, they only come on Thursday.
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I said even better, today's Thursday.
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And he said, no, you just missed them.
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So I had to wait in this in. 8 by 8 room.
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For a. Week it's like a closet it.
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Was crazy. The guy comes in, I'm not going
14:01
to mention his name because I know him now and we have a
14:04
conversation. He says how do you feel?
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I said, I'll be honest with you, I probably wouldn't have really
14:09
hurt myself the first day, but after being in after.
14:13
Being in here for this amount of time, I feel crazy.
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I do feel crazy. Do you know what they did?
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They put me back in the. Room.
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Oh man. No counsel, no therapy, no
14:23
anything, no encouragement. Put me back in the room.
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They brought me back the next week.
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Sat down with the same guy and I knew better.
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I learned my lesson. He said how do you feel?
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I said I feel great. I was worse now than when I went
14:35
in, but I had to lie about my position emotionally.
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Psychologically, I was. I was damaged from that room.
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But I learned real quick to not tell people how you really feel.
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Because when you start telling people how you really feel and
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they recognize they can't help you, they just put you away the
14:57
quickest. Way they put you in a closet for
14:59
days. So that the first time I went
15:02
in, I spent two weeks in suicide watch and then I did, I did
15:06
three months, 90 days in jail, very first time I'd ever went to
15:09
jail and the very first month scared to death.
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But after that, I got really comfortable at being an inmate.
15:17
I got really comfortable being in the jail.
15:20
I recognized they couldn't eat me in there and I would
15:22
eventually get out. And that comfort became very
15:27
dangerous for me because the threat of going to jail no
15:31
longer scared me. My addiction was waiting for me
15:35
When I got out that first time, I went right back to getting
15:37
high. Life started moving like it
15:40
does. And at least once a month, maybe
15:43
twice a month, I would get locked up.
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I'd go to jail. I'd find a way to bond out and,
15:48
and what they do in the loss in the in the court systems,
15:51
because a legal system is so far behind with addiction, it is
15:55
that they just put everything together.
15:56
They'll keep putting you off. You'll get a court date.
15:58
It'll be a year out. And what they would do is
16:01
consolidate all of my charges. And I wasn't Pablo Escobar.
16:05
I wasn't doing anything like you were an addict.
16:08
Serious. Yeah, I was an addict.
16:09
So I was doing small criminal activities from larceny to petty
16:13
larceny to misdemeanor larceny to felony larceny.
16:17
And they would just put them all together and just wait.
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And I would get probation and I'd be back on the street in no
16:22
time in 2000. What was your home life like
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with that? Going in and out, man, I have
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kids. What was?
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What was? That I, I, I walked out on them
16:31
when my daughter was born. She was born with a lot of
16:36
medical issues and had to stay in the hospital.
16:40
And I went and saw her twice. And while she was in there, you
16:44
know, I did the easy thing. I just blamed myself and went
16:48
and got even darker in this pit. Instead of standing up and being
16:52
a man and and and being beside my daughter while she was going
16:56
through all these things, I just kind of walked away, ended up
17:01
going to jail before she got out.
17:03
And when she got out, I had met a woman named Kristen who's my
17:06
wife now, and I convinced her that I wasn't as bad as the
17:11
rumors. I was on probation.
17:14
I needed an address. I would live with my dad every
17:18
now and then but I convinced Kristen to let me use her
17:21
address for my probation and in convincing Kristen to let me use
17:26
her address I I moved into her house without really asking.
17:30
She she was a waitress and while she was at work one day I just
17:33
put all my stuff in her house. I said I just need to make it
17:35
look real and by looking real I just started staying in her
17:38
house. She found out how how carnal my
17:44
mom really was really quickly. We lasted about 3 months before
17:48
she she ran away. She moved from North Carolina to
17:51
South Carolina and didn't tell me where she was, but I guess
17:55
there was just something about me that she was drawn to.
17:57
She wasn't an addict that I finally I called her one day,
18:01
she had unblocked my number and she's like, hey, just come down
18:05
here. Maybe a different scenery will
18:07
do good for you. And that's that's just not the
18:09
case. Wherever I went, there I was.
18:12
I went from just occasional methamphetamine mixing with a
18:17
heroin to heroin and methamphetamine every single
18:20
day. We lasted about another three
18:23
months down at the beach. She asked me to leave.
18:26
I moved back down to Monroe, moved in with my dad.
18:29
The day I moved in, he passed away the next morning from
18:34
overdose from benzodiapans and alcohol.
18:37
So I found my dad dead. I called.
18:40
You found him. It was.
18:42
It was a terrible day. It's a terrible day for me.
18:45
As much as I hated the man, there's a lot of conversations
18:49
we didn't get to have. Yeah.
18:53
And I felt, you know, I felt a little responsible because, you
18:55
know, I was introducing them to the drugs that he had no
18:59
knowledge of. He was an alcoholic before I
19:01
came along. And after I came along, pills
19:04
and whatever else I can get my hands on, he would, he would, he
19:09
would practice these things with me.
19:12
I called Kristen and I said I need, I need somebody solid down
19:16
here to stand beside me. So she came, she came down to
19:18
Monroe and, and right before she went to go leave me again, my
19:22
brother got in a car accident and lost his life.
19:26
And I said, can you stay a little bit longer?
19:28
And she did. And a lot of my family blamed
19:31
her for my addiction. They didn't know any better.
19:33
They didn't, they didn't know that she was not in active
19:37
addiction because she was willing to live this lifestyle
19:39
with me. I ended up going to prison a
19:43
couple months after my brother died for an armed robbery.
19:45
I didn't do, but they had me with a plea deal that I
19:49
couldn't, I couldn't turn it down because they had me on so
19:51
many other. Things.
19:52
So many other things. Yep.
19:53
So I ended up going to prison. I didn't talk to my family for
19:56
the first two years. Nobody would.
19:59
Nobody would interact with me. I would love to tell you that.
20:02
What was? Your sentence, Wesley What?
20:04
It was 28 to three years for an armed robbery and it was just
20:09
same thing. You go in there and you're like,
20:12
OK, this is prison. This is different than the
20:13
county. Yeah.
20:15
And you just got this fear. So you go in there and you start
20:17
acting a little reckless just to make sure that you you don't
20:22
look vulnerable. Right.
20:24
And it just connections and relationships in there and
20:29
access to things I should have never had access to.
20:32
And I just say it this way. You can't stay no cleaner in
20:35
there. Then you can stay out here.
20:37
Not if you're not, if you're looking for it.
20:39
No, no, it's everywhere. And I, I, I could not do 30 days
20:44
sober. The whole time I was in prison
20:47
the last eight months, I was locked up.
20:50
I called my Mama, she answered. She started coming to see me.
20:54
And then I called Kristen's phone one day and she had put
20:56
minutes on it and she knew I was getting out and she knew I was a
21:00
little crazy, I guess, or a little jealous.
21:04
But she answered it and she said, I know you're getting out
21:06
and I know we're going to talk eventually.
21:08
Might as well start it now. So we started talking and I had
21:11
convinced her that I had stayed sober the whole time I was
21:15
locked up. I get out in 2013, we start a
21:19
relationship, she ends up getting pregnant five months
21:24
after I'm out of jail. I'm I'm back out there in my
21:27
addiction and I, I am probably worse now than I had ever been.
21:32
And she, she draws the line. She said, I I'm pregnant, I'm
21:36
going to have this child and I'm not going to deal with you like
21:40
this. So you need to figure it out.
21:42
And two days later I got locked up 2014.
21:45
I got locked up and nobody would bond me out.
21:49
It was a, it was a scary feeling because my bond was only $1000.
21:54
So 120 bucks get a bondsman and, and you'll get out and you go
21:58
into a jail and you're detoxing off heroin and you're, you're
22:02
good at it. I mean, I had become a
22:04
professional withdrawal. I knew what it, you knew how to
22:07
withdraw. I did.
22:08
And this time was different. It's usually 5-6 days and your
22:13
body will start to recover. Well, that was not the case this
22:16
time. I didn't know anything about
22:18
fentanyl. I didn't I wasn't looking for
22:20
fentanyl, wasn't pursuing fentanyl 2014.
22:24
It was kind of unheard of. But here I am in the jail and
22:28
they're they drug test me and I got fentanyl in my system and
22:32
the withdrawals were completely different than the heroin
22:35
withdrawals. Just regular opiate withdrawals.
22:37
6-7 days I couldn't stand up. 8-9 days I had lost 11 pounds.
22:42
Wow. I couldn't eat anything. 10 and
22:45
11 days. The officers were having to come
22:47
into the medical block and shower me and change me and
22:51
change my bed clothes. 11 and 13 on 13th day they called a
22:55
specialist in there and they were like, something's not
22:57
right. And the specialist, he, you
23:00
know, he suggested get him some protein, get him some things
23:03
that are not on y'all's y'all's menu and see if his body can
23:07
hold it. And it did.
23:08
It worked. Day 14, I had, you know, they
23:11
were giving me protein shakes and trays and I was able to eat
23:15
it. And about a month after that,
23:17
they let me go back to segregation.
23:18
I got some weight up. I went from 130 to 150 lbs.
23:23
And they put me back in segregation and they put me in a
23:26
room with a Bible thumper, like in the jail.
23:29
Yeah, everybody's got jailhouse religion.
23:31
His name was Ed. I'll never forget it.
23:33
Big guy, You know, I'm £150. This guy's I'm 6 foot one.
23:37
This guy's 6 foot 5. Super friendly guy, but I did
23:42
not want to challenge him on a lot of stuff just because I was
23:46
still weak and uni and I was just very respectful.
23:50
I said, Mr. Ed, you don't talk to me about Jesus and I won't
23:54
disrespect your area. And he said deal.
23:57
But he didn't keep his end of the deal.
24:01
He, he started to question me and ask me things and, and and
24:04
try to persuade me about this gospel.
24:07
And I just finally, I got down one day and I said, look, buddy,
24:10
I've watched men profess Christ in this place.
24:12
I've watched people chase down religion in this place and they
24:16
get they get out and they get locked right back up.
24:19
I said I can do that on my own. And he said, you need to go into
24:22
the life skills program. It's on the other side of the
24:24
jail. I've never heard about this
24:25
thing. You get locked up as many times
24:27
as I had you think you thought? Maybe you've seen it all.
24:30
I hadn't, he said. There's a life skills program on
24:32
the other side of the jail where they teach you life skills.
24:35
I said, how do I get in there? He said, I'll help you.
24:38
They got TV in there. It's a open dorm.
24:40
And I was like, really? So he signs me up and an hour
24:45
later I'm getting called out to go over to the life skills
24:48
program. You know, it's the next day.
24:50
The next day I'm getting caught out to go to life skills
24:51
program. They take me over there.
24:54
And, you know, he left some of the truth out about what this
24:57
life skills program was. And I walk in there and sure
25:01
enough, there's ATV on the wall. There's board games.
25:03
It's an open dorm and I found out real quickly, but it was
25:07
Christ centered and I looked over at the CEO and I said I
25:11
think there's a mistake, man. I don't want to be in some
25:14
Christian rehab program. And the officer said, well, our
25:18
shift's about to end. You're going to have to wait
25:19
till Monday to get back to segregation to start all the all
25:23
this process over to get back in the B block.
25:26
So I'm fine with that. Something happened over the
25:28
weekend. You start watching get 13 other
25:32
guys in a jail who were weeping over their sin.
25:35
Not over there, not over their position, but they're actually
25:38
grieving over sin. And you start to question
25:42
everything in life because, you know, in the South, you just
25:46
want to be safe so you don't go to hell.
25:48
But in these men's hearts, they found out that they were the
25:53
offense and that only God could set them free.
25:57
A man named Jack Kernan came in Monday.
25:59
I'll never forget it. He was very rough around the
26:02
edges. He was from up north, Oh,
26:04
Yankee. And he was very harsh to me.
26:09
And he shared the gospel in a way I'd never heard.
26:11
It's usually it's good news, good news, good news.
26:14
And he did not do that. And I said, man, I have enough
26:18
knowledge about the Bible to know that you're supposed to be
26:21
sharing some good news. And he said, brother, if you
26:23
don't understand the bad news, there is no good news.
26:26
He says, you're an addict, you're a failure, You're a
26:29
deadbeat father, You're a convict, and this is the life
26:32
you've chosen. And I'm like, that's terrible.
26:35
That doesn't sound good. He want to hear the good stuff.
26:38
He said here's the beauty, you don't have to leave this place
26:41
the same way that you came about the power of the gospel and the
26:44
power of the Holy Spirit. You can be different.
26:45
I said, that's beautiful. I want that.
26:47
I want to be different. I don't want to go back.
26:49
I said, here's the problem for you Sir, I'm going to die a
26:52
heroin addict. He said, Who told you that?
26:54
I said every program I've ever been in says once an addict,
26:57
always an addict. He said, but what does the word
26:59
of God say? I said, I have no idea.
27:01
He says in Psalm one O 3, it says he forgives all my sin and
27:06
heals all my diseases. I said, OK, He said, it doesn't
27:09
matter if you think it's a disease or a choice, the
27:12
answer's Jesus. And he said when the new comes
27:15
in, the old is gone. I said, you need to break that
27:18
down for me. He says you don't have to be an
27:20
addict anymore. You now have this opportunity in
27:23
the name of Jesus to choose. And I said, are you going to
27:27
show me how to walk this out when I get out of jail?
27:29
He said you have my word. So seven week program, I'm in
27:35
there. I'm petitioning to the Lord, I'm
27:37
reading scripture, I'm trying to figure this thing out and I
27:40
start praying to God. I said, if you let me finish
27:42
this program before I go to prison because I thought I was
27:44
going to prison for another three years.
27:46
I said, Lord, I'll do anything you tell me to do.
27:50
About 5 1/2 weeks into the program, they take me to court,
27:53
Superior Court, and I'm downstairs and I see Miss Chris
27:57
Christian, Christine Thunderburg, and I say she's a
28:01
officer there. I said, can you talk to the
28:03
judge for me? And he said what?
28:05
She said, what do you want to talk about?
28:06
I said, can you ask him if he'll let me stay in the jail?
28:10
I'll plead guilty today and we can get this thing wrapped up.
28:13
So she goes upstairs, she gets the judge, she talks to him.
28:16
Judge Chris Bragg, I'll never forget it.
28:19
Then she comes back downstairs. She says the judge will see you.
28:22
So we go upstairs. I'm in the courtroom.
28:23
There's not a lot of people in there.
28:25
And the judge says you have anything to say?
28:28
I said, yeah, I'd like to stay in the jail and finish this
28:30
program, seven week program. I'm about 5 1/2 weeks in.
28:33
He said, are you sober? I said I am sober.
28:37
He said, are you, you have a high school reading level.
28:40
I said yes, Sir, I have a high school reading level.
28:42
He said, Are you sure you're sober?
28:45
I said, yes, Sir. He said, what are you going to
28:47
say when I tell you I'm going to let you go home today on
28:51
probation? And I'll be honest with you, my
28:53
flesh was like, you better take this deal before they realize
28:57
they made a mistake. And the Lord weighed me down
29:01
with every prayer that I had petitioned to him about me
29:04
asking him to let me finish this program.
29:06
And I just looked at the judge and I said, if you let me finish
29:09
this program, you'll never see me in this jailhouse again.
29:11
And he said, why you want to finish so bad?
29:14
I said I dropped out of high school, I walked out of my kids
29:19
life. I've quit everything that was
29:21
ever difficult and I've never finished one thing that I've
29:25
tried to start and he he said when does it when does it end?
29:29
I said the the the following Friday we have graduation.
29:34
So he popped his gavel and he said I'll let you leave 12:00 PM
29:39
on Friday. And I groaned a little bit and
29:41
he said what's wrong? I said they got a pizza party at
29:44
at 3:00. He he let me stay till 5:00 the
29:50
following Friday and I get back to jail and, you know,
29:54
everybody's looking at me kind of crazy and I'm like.
29:56
I'm sure the judges had to have spinning too.
29:59
Oh, it was. It was wild.
30:00
Like who does that? Who want to stay a little
30:02
longer? And I'm going to go to the pizza
30:04
party. I couldn't believe that I had
30:06
said it. It was not me.
30:08
I promise you, me, me would have walked right out them doors and
30:13
me would probably be dead right now.
30:15
But it's so like gripping, riveting for you to say all
30:20
these things that you hadn't finished and you saw this as the
30:24
beginning of something that you wanted to finish.
30:27
And it meant that much to you that that that's so I mean, that
30:32
kind of takes it kind of gives you chills that you you felt
30:34
that at that moment in that time, you know?
30:39
Let let me let me be real honest too, because I don't want
30:42
somebody to think I'm some hyper St.
30:44
I really didn't know where I was going to go if I were to get out
30:48
of jail. I thought I was going to prison.
30:50
So when you look at it through that perception, you're like,
30:52
oh, I can understand that. Or if they were going to let me
30:55
out, nobody wanted to talk to me, right.
30:58
So, so I mean, I, it does make for a good story that Wesley
31:01
stated. Yeah, I.
31:02
Mean it does make for. A good story.
31:03
What were my other options really at the time?
31:06
What were my other options? But the Lord was faithful to my
31:11
prayers to give me the opportunity.
31:12
And I don't say that to discount why I stayed.
31:15
I just want, I don't want anybody.
31:17
Well, you know, you had no other options, and that's true.
31:20
But now I was saved. You know, you're in the South
31:22
and it's prosperity gospel. So I'm in the jail.
31:25
I'm like, Lord, give me a good job, Lord.
31:28
Give me a big house, Lord, fix all my relationships.
31:31
That was my prayer. Yeah.
31:33
And everybody's like blessings, blessings, blessings.
31:35
And the only thing that they can account blessings for are
31:37
physical things. So that was all the knowledge I
31:39
had. So I get out of jail and none of
31:42
those blessings came, by the way.
31:44
Like, I did not have a house. I did not have a car.
31:47
My family wouldn't talk to me. I had a list of things I
31:49
couldn't do and places I could not go.
31:52
And I'm, I'm frustrated. And I find myself living in the
31:55
homeless shelter and I go from communal living to communal
31:59
living. And I remember I'm in the back
32:02
of the shelter. They had one in Monroe.
32:04
That's not they have a new one now.
32:05
I was not at the new one. I was at the old one.
32:08
And the reason they built a new one was because the old it was
32:11
really bad. I love the place.
32:13
Don't get me wrong. I'm not discounting it.
32:15
I support the shelter and I will always support the shelter.
32:20
But that one was just not in the greatest of shape.
32:23
So I remember sitting in the back crying to the Lord, like I
32:27
thought you were going to fix my life.
32:29
And in that moment, audibly or not, he responded with your life
32:32
was never the issue. It was your heart.
32:34
Let me fix that first. And I just it gave me a it gave
32:39
me a piece I couldn't explain. I said, all right, Lord, I'm
32:41
going to trust you. And within three months, he's
32:45
prompting me to start a halfway house from the shelter.
32:48
I didn't have a House of my own. I was like, this is crazy.
32:52
I'm in arrears on child support. I all my money went to all my
32:58
jail calls. All your court calls, everything
33:01
you had. I had nothing.
33:02
And I'm like, Lord, you got the wrong one.
33:05
Like why don't you find somebody who's got a house or give me a
33:07
house? And he's like, I'm not going to
33:08
do either. I'm going to watch you and I'm
33:11
going to lead you through this. And one thing led to another.
33:14
Well, what's the let's before we get into that, because I want us
33:17
to step through that. I want because I, I think that
33:21
your story is so incredible, but I don't I want us to get the
33:24
full beat of it before we do. I want to recognize that
33:27
nightmare success podcast is sponsored by the white collar
33:30
support group, the world's first support group devoted to people
33:33
navigating the white collar criminal justice system.
33:35
I'm a member of the white collar support group and I tell you
33:37
that it's a bunch of people who help each other through the
33:40
criminal justice journey for free.
33:42
Whether you're just starting your journey or you've made it
33:44
through to the the other side, this is a great space for you.
33:47
You can join us on Zoom Monday, 7:00 PM Eastern Time, 4:00 PM
33:50
Pacific. For information, go to
33:51
prisoners.org. That's prisoners.org.
33:53
Start here. And for those that want to,
33:55
there's a white collar conference October 19th.
33:59
And it's if you want to sign up, it's at the white
34:03
collarconference.com October 19th.
34:06
So Wesley, you know, and, and you know, white collar
34:10
conference is about community, what you were being told in your
34:14
mind and and the Lord's telling you, you're going to create this
34:18
community and you had nothing. So what I mean what what?
34:24
What do you do next? Oh, brother, you lose your mind.
34:27
You lose your mind. I'll be honest with you.
34:30
I know the Lord was prompting me to do these things.
34:32
And I had no, I had, I had no resources.
34:35
And I was like, there's no way this is impossible.
34:40
And he would He would remind me that my position altogether was
34:45
impossible. I shouldn't be sober.
34:47
I shouldn't be alive. I shouldn't be out of jail.
34:49
All those are impossibilities. And then I start, I start
34:53
feeling overwhelmed with this pressure to do something that I
34:57
knew I couldn't do. And it felt like a relapse was
35:00
coming. And because of the pressure,
35:03
yeah, my mom had to help me get a car.
35:05
It was a Honda. It was a straight drive.
35:08
The ignition didn't work, so I had to roll.
35:10
Started everywhere and I'm driving down the road one day
35:13
and I felt, I felt the IT felt like what the symptoms of a
35:18
relapse felt like. I was anxious, I was afraid, I
35:21
was angry and it was a depression that came over me and
35:24
I pulled over it in the driveway and I called my mentor Jack,
35:28
same guy from jail. And I said, bro, I can't, I
35:30
can't do this anymore. I feel like I'm about to relapse
35:33
and he's like, what you're going through is normal.
35:36
And I'm like, might be normal for you, but for me, I know how
35:39
to alleviate this. And he said he, he's
35:42
Pentecostal. So he said, there's a ram in the
35:45
thicket. And I'm like, I don't know what
35:46
that means, Sir. Like you, you've given me no
35:50
answers but a Riddle. So I was a new believer.
35:54
I screamed at him a little bit and threw my phone in the
35:56
floorboard. And then I got my Bible.
35:58
And I said, Lord, you're going to have to show me something.
36:01
I opened the book of Psalms and it says if the Lord doesn't
36:05
build the house, the laborers are in vain.
36:08
And I was like, I don't understand this.
36:11
So I threw my Bible in the floor and where I had pulled over had
36:15
a circle Dr. behind the house. You go down a hill, you come
36:19
back up and I was like, good, I can roll start my car from here.
36:22
So I rolled down the back, popped the clutch, got the car
36:25
to crank up and at the bottom of the hill I looked over and there
36:28
was a for ripped sign behind the trash can.
36:32
And I was like, Lord, if this is you, you're going to show me.
36:35
So I turned my car off. Car off, of course, at the
36:37
bottom of a hill, and now I'm going to have to figure out how
36:41
to get started. I'm frustrated.
36:44
I called the number, the guy's name's Kent, and I'm like, hey,
36:47
man, I see you got it for rent, son.
36:49
He said, yeah, if you'll recognize it's behind the house
36:52
because the house isn't for rent yet.
36:54
But I'm about to stop by. He stops by and I give him the
36:58
spiel. I tell him about how many times
37:00
I've been arrested. I tell him about my heroin
37:03
addiction. I tell him that I'm broke and
37:05
I'm living in the shelter. But then I tell him, I think the
37:08
Lord wants me to have your house.
37:10
And he laughs at me and I'm like, buddy, I haven't been
37:14
saved long enough for you to just laugh at me.
37:16
I'm just telling you where I'm at.
37:18
And he says, good news is, is I believe in the Lord too.
37:22
And I'm like, oh, this is awesome.
37:24
And he says, and I know enough about the Lord to know that if
37:27
he wants you to have this house, he's going to give you the money
37:29
to do it. And I'm like, I'm like, well, he
37:33
has it. And we talk, you know, we talked
37:35
for about 20 minutes. And at the end of talking, he
37:38
looks at me. He goes, you know what, I like
37:41
you, man. I'm going to give you a chance
37:43
to do something, do something different.
37:45
And he throws the keys at me and he says, we'll, we'll figure
37:48
this out later. And I would love to tell you
37:51
that, you know, that house, that that first house was a great
37:55
success. It wasn't.
37:59
I took guys out of the shelter. I stayed living at the shelter
38:01
and put these guys in the house over there and tried to disciple
38:05
them and minister to them and be a financial advisor and a
38:09
nurturer and a disciplinary. And it was exhausting all the
38:13
way exhausting. And after about a year of
38:17
operating, I mean, it was doing good.
38:19
The guys were killing it, man. They were all in landscaping or
38:23
some kind of outside job where the weather dictated their their
38:27
paycheck and it began to rain and they could not go to work.
38:32
And if they couldn't go to work, we couldn't pay the bills.
38:36
So I started going around asking churches, can you help me out
38:39
with a little bit? You know, I'm a year out of
38:41
jail. I'm a year sober.
38:43
My reputation was building up a little bit.
38:46
And every church that I went to said get a 5O1C3 and we'll
38:51
support you. I said I have no idea what that
38:53
is. They said if you get a 5O1C3
38:57
we'll give you some financial support.
38:59
So I went and sought it out and the money that it costed to get
39:03
A5O1C3, I would have had to borrow money from churches to do
39:06
that. Sure it's not.
39:07
It's not cheap to do that. It's not so I I was doing
39:10
overhead fire safety. I was a foreman.
39:12
I was making pretty good money, the Lord said. 5O1C3 for
39:15
everybody that's listening out there in the Cayman Islands,
39:17
it's it's a non profit and it gives ability for people to give
39:20
money and and have a tax write off to do it.
39:23
Yeah, I'm not. I mean, yeah, that's basically
39:26
in a nutshell what it is. I had no idea what it was at the
39:29
time. I I go back to these churches
39:33
and said I have an idea, I'll work overtime, You keep your
39:37
money, why don't you just come help me disciple these men?
39:41
And I got the same exact response you get you A5O1C3 and
39:46
we'll come out there and disciple those men.
39:48
And I knew then even not having a lot of knowledge of A5O1C3,
39:53
that that was unnecessary for them to make disciples who make
39:57
disciples. So I got a little angry at, at,
40:00
at the bride of Christ, not just one individual, but a whole
40:04
bunch of them, because they all gave me the same answer and had
40:07
to shut the house down. And I was, I was angry, I was
40:11
questioning God. I said I know you sent me to do
40:14
this. And I went and worked out of
40:16
town in Columbia with a man who did 11 years and eight months
40:19
for murder he didn't do. And this man taught me how to
40:22
pray. He taught me how to walk in
40:24
patience, and he taught me how to trust the Lord.
40:27
Fast forward, I come back to Monroe, NC, and there's a guy
40:30
named Christopher Guffey. He's got halfway houses in
40:33
Charlotte. They're called Ground 40 halfway
40:35
houses. And we kind of link armor.
40:38
One thing leads to another. I tell him we need to do a
40:41
program instead of just transitional houses.
40:43
He's like, you might need to do a program, but I don't need to.
40:46
And he gives me the 501 C three. It wasn't, I mean, it wasn't
40:50
that overnight, but it was. Pretty.
40:52
It's pretty amazing. When you told me that over the
40:54
phone, Leslie, I was like, man, how does that happen?
40:58
It doesn't. It's just, it's just incredible
41:01
because it was exactly what you needed to get to the next step.
41:04
It was crazy. He gives me this 5O1C3 and
41:07
there's properties that he's renting and he says you can do
41:09
what you want to with him. I said we're going to turn this
41:12
into a program and the first few years was trial and error, the
41:16
next few years was trial and error.
41:18
And the Lord has been so kind to forgive our mistakes and bless
41:22
our efforts. You know, it's 2024 now, and
41:26
we've got 8 operational properties.
41:30
The first 3 stages of our program are absolutely free.
41:34
We take the men in out of prison, out of recovery, out of
41:37
addiction, out of homelessness, out of high school.
41:40
And we bring them to the three different phases, which I'm
41:44
going to tell you something different here just a second
41:46
because we've already restructured again for another
41:48
phase since we talked. The first phase is 40 days and
41:52
they come here for free and for 40 days they are fasting from
41:55
the world, fasting from their family, getting their mind
41:59
right, making sure that that the withdrawal symptoms and the
42:02
detox symptoms are, you know, they're all clear.
42:06
And then we move them to the next phase, which is our ranch
42:09
property, 2 1/2 months where we do corporate community service.
42:15
And I'm not talking about where we take our men out and it's a
42:17
work camp. I'm talking about we go out and
42:19
we do by donation only help to the widows, to the orphans, to
42:24
the senior citizens, to local churches.
42:27
And we're like, how can we help for free?
42:29
Because you turn a selfish heart into a servant's heart.
42:32
You got a whole other thing coming.
42:34
They, they move past that property to our new phase, the
42:37
Restoration House. They do 2 1/2 months there where
42:40
it's smaller group community service where you have two or
42:44
three guys now instead of the whole group.
42:46
And they're learning how to walk back beside of the world and
42:51
face their triggers, face all of these things that can cause
42:54
temptation. And then we get to assess them
42:57
and say, hey man, how are you dealing with these things?
42:59
After that phase, then we have our transitional houses.
43:02
They're a year to a year and a half because we, this is not a
43:05
forever home. And our goal is to, that's the
43:08
only part of the program where it costs a fee for the men.
43:11
They have to pay for their responsibilities of a
43:13
transitional house. They got a job, they got a car.
43:15
We provide, we provide everything they need of their
43:18
transportation, laundry detergent, food.
43:21
And they pay $120.00 a month, a week to cover every part of
43:25
that. And that $120.00 a week then
43:27
goes back into the early stages to help the next group of men
43:31
come in for free. Wow.
43:33
We do one fundraiser a year. We don't even put it on a a very
43:37
close family of ours whose son went to the program puts on the
43:41
on the fundraiser and we don't. I'm just going to tell you, we
43:44
don't go around having to ask for money.
43:46
The Lord takes care of almost. Everything such a powerful work
43:49
that you guys do too. I mean, I, I think the community
43:53
wouldn't have to see a lot to understand that it is a lot.
43:56
And, and you know, Wesley, it's, it's so, you know, I, I, I'm so
44:01
lucky to be able to sit in this chair and hear people like you
44:05
that do what you do. And it's, you know, there's
44:07
different pockets all over the country.
44:09
But you know, the work that has to go into this is, is big.
44:16
But I think, I think what happens is, you know, you have
44:21
walked all these steps. So when you sit down with these
44:24
guys, it's not that you're some clinical guy that read it in a
44:28
book and now we're going to try to figure it out.
44:31
You've been in every one of those steps and lived it.
44:34
And that's what I think pulls the glue into this deal is is
44:38
and and I got to tell you when you see that video that that
44:41
you're in and you're you got the music and and the and you walk
44:46
out to your family and the IT since chills up your spine of
44:50
what that ground 40 feeling is. And it's it's you're just you,
44:57
you found your place and your passion.
44:59
And as far as how, where you're at now, is it something that
45:05
you're going to take bigger or is it just something you're just
45:09
going to get better and better at from where you're at, you
45:12
know? We have visions, right?
45:16
And, and for lack of vision, my people perish.
45:19
For lack of knowledge, my people perish.
45:20
And these things come into play with it.
45:23
And there's the desire to go bigger, and there's a I lose
45:36
you. No, I got you.
45:37
I. Got you.
45:38
OK, there's a there is a desire to go bigger.
45:42
There is because the need is so great, right?
45:46
And then there's another desire and I'm going to say this and
45:49
this is as kind as I can say it. There really is no secret sauce
45:54
to ground 40. Like we, we read the Bible, we
45:58
put it into practice. We walk beside of these men, we
46:01
disciple these men. We look at Scripture and we
46:04
apply it to our lives. Every believer has the same
46:09
exact handbook and every believer has the same spirit
46:14
inside of them to do the same exact thing that we're doing.
46:18
I'll be honest with you. There are 6200 congregations in
46:22
the state of North Carolina alone.
46:25
If every single Christian congregation would take one man
46:30
and one man only and the whole congregation pour into this guy
46:34
and their family, then you would have 6200 men who could then be
46:40
that arm of the church. That they would have a guy in
46:44
their church that has a similar testimony, who has the same walk
46:47
of life and has an understanding.
46:49
And churches could quit saying, hey, let's send these people to
46:52
other programs and they can say bring them to us.
46:54
We have the answer. His name is Jesus.
46:56
It's always been Jesus. So it is kind of a catch 22.
47:00
I know that there's a need and we're probably going to go
47:05
bigger just because the need is great.
47:07
And our our list right now we got 69 guys on our waiting list
47:11
and they come in every 40 days, but it's a 40 day waiting list.
47:16
So it's. It's, it's, it's so I, I, I went
47:20
deep into your, your stuff, Wesley and I, I just, I just
47:26
think it's so great. I think everything that you're
47:28
doing is, is inspiring. And you can tell that these guys
47:33
that they recover from this, that live it, are so
47:37
appreciative and, and can get their lives in a way that they
47:40
want it. And it's got to, it's got to
47:44
make you feel. It's got to fill you up because
47:46
of what, what you've gone through.
47:47
I mean, you've gone through the whole thing, man, and now you're
47:50
giving back in a way that is everything you know is
47:55
everything you are. We're we're quick to forget
47:58
where we came from and the world is so kind of put men in front
48:00
of me every single day that remind me, hey, this is where
48:04
you were. And it also gives me hope that
48:07
when I'm talking to them, I know he can do it for you.
48:09
I know he can do it. Well, and, and what you just
48:12
said, hope is such a big deal. I mean, hope, you know, there's
48:18
one of my, the second guy I interviewed three seasons ago,
48:21
he said don't ever take away hope from someone because that
48:24
might be all they have. That's right.
48:26
And, and if you can inspire hope in people that they can make it
48:30
to the next step, that can do so much.
48:33
If they just believe, you know, that, that that's, that's them,
48:37
that they're part of that and they can be that.
48:40
And that's, you know, what your program is built around.
48:42
It's community and and to be in our community, once you've gone
48:47
through trauma, that community can lift you up and and take you
48:51
places you didn't think you could go.
48:53
But I I think it's amazing what you you were literally in a
48:57
place where you didn't know where you were going to go next.
49:00
Wesley and he got this ground forty thing.
49:02
The guy says, well, I don't know if I'm going to do that, but you
49:05
can do it. And here's the five O 1C3.
49:07
In a way it is it's it's it's great and I love it.
49:12
And if if, if you think about where you are now, what do you
49:18
think's your greatest take away for the listeners out there of
49:21
the journey you're on and been through, man?
49:25
Oh my goodness, the greatest take away.
49:28
You know, I think in Hebrews it says it's impossible to please
49:30
the Lord without faith. And I will tell you one thing
49:34
for sure, I'm good at a lot of stuff.
49:36
Let me just be as humble as I can.
49:38
If, if there's something out there physically, I can figure
49:41
out how to do it. This was something that I could
49:44
not have done. I could not have done this.
49:47
I don't have the I don't have the willpower.
49:49
I don't have the understanding. Trusting, trusting in the Lord,
49:55
in The Impossibles has has brought us to where we are.
49:58
You know, I got my wife. Yes, I got my kid.
50:01
You. Haven't talked about that.
50:02
Your kids, man. All back in play.
50:05
I have a beautiful wife who is, who's straight up with me.
50:12
She went through the fire with me.
50:14
We've experienced a lot of loss, I'm sure with that, both of us
50:18
suffer with some kind of guilt of of how we're still here,
50:22
survival's guilt. But she constantly ministers to
50:26
me. She constantly encourages me and
50:28
all the wives to the men. Our staff's wives are above
50:35
anything you've ever known because our wives walk through
50:38
this with us. And when these guys come in with
50:40
their new wives, our wives don't just encourage us, they
50:43
encourage these other wives. They can tell them some hard
50:46
truths. So it's, it's to see my kids
50:50
that you know, I dropped my, I dropped my 11 year old off
50:52
today, first day of 6th grade. And he's not ashamed for me to
50:59
walk beside him. And my 19 year old who who lived
51:03
through some of this, he's not ashamed of me, not ashamed of my
51:07
testimony, he's not ashamed of the gospel that set me free.
51:11
And it's just, it's really incredible to know that I was
51:16
really willing to give up and throw all of this away because I
51:20
just could not see that this would be possible.
51:25
And it can happen. I mean, it can happen.
51:27
It happened. And it's, it's, it's a testament
51:32
to, to believing that it can't happen.
51:35
And, and, and you're helping all these guys, Wesley, it's, it's,
51:38
it's, it's quite the story. And I'm so happy that you were
51:42
able to make time to be on the show, 'cause this, this is a
51:45
story. I mean, you are, you talk about
51:46
a nightmare success story. You live through the nightmare,
51:49
you walk through your fears. You got to the place that is
51:53
your freedom and that's your success.
51:55
And, and the, the freedom is, is knowing there you can walk your
51:59
kids into school, you can feel good about yourself, feel good
52:02
about what you're doing and feel good about how you're helping
52:05
people and how you're creating a community for people.
52:07
It's very, very, very encouraging.
52:10
If people want to get a hold of you and they want to donate, do
52:14
they go to ground40.org? Can they do that there?
52:16
They can't. They can go to ground40.org if
52:19
they need to call us for help. It's 704-883-5185.
52:25
We're on Facebook. I we're on Instagram.
52:28
I'm personally on Facebook. Wesley Gazi, I'm on Instagram.
52:31
Wesley Gazi. I'm on TikTok.
52:34
I think it's Reverend Wesley Gazi on.
52:36
There it is on TikTok, Yeah. Man, I'll tell you, we got 7
52:39
guys in our program right now from TikTok and, and really I
52:44
just want to encourage people with the gospel of Jesus Christ.
52:46
Man. I didn't get on there one day to
52:48
get a platformer to get a name. From I know you got a lot of
52:50
followers and that, that's, that's one of the things about,
52:53
you know, the, the TikTok can, can help a lot of people, you
52:56
know, because you can find your community there and, and it can
53:00
connect. And I, I see that a lot where
53:03
people find places that they didn't think they'd be able to
53:06
find on a social platform. It's a free.
53:08
Platform. Wow, it's a crazy day, right?
53:10
Exactly exactly for those out to hey, if me being grateful that I
53:16
I get to use Homestead financial set up here with my podcast
53:20
room. If anybody's got home mortgage
53:23
needs out there, go to Greg FDF. He is your guy.
53:26
My my book nightmare success. Check it out.
53:29
It's on Amazon and Barnes and Noble and I've gotten a good
53:33
amount of reviews lately from Apple.
53:35
It helps the show so much appreciated.
53:38
If you got time to do that, please do.
53:39
I just got 2 two weeks ago. New, new website out there is
53:42
brentcassidy.com. It's, I spell it wrong.
53:45
It's with a Ty, not a DY as I used to say when I was writing
53:51
my emails back and forth from Leavenworth.
53:52
Stay strong. I'll do the same.
53:54
Wesley, I so appreciate what you're doing, who you are, what
53:58
you're going to continue to do. Thanks so much for being on
54:01
today. Thank you so much brother.
54:04
Nightmare success in and out.