Latest / Main Thing Podcast / Navigating Parenthood with Faith and Purpose

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Navigating Parenthood with Faith and Purpose · Main Thing Podcast

• 0:19
  Speaker 1: Thank you.
• 0:19
  Speaker 1: Call in today's divisive and dark culture, From foundational truths and scripture to the hot topics of today's culture.
• 0:26
  Speaker 1: Allow this podcast to inspire and motivate you on your faith journey.
• 0:32
  Speaker 2: Well, welcome back to Main Thing Podcast.
• 0:36
  Speaker 2: Last episode we posted, Pastor Steve and Chet talked about families, and so we're going to continue in that vein today, as we talk about families returning to God.
• 0:46
  Speaker 2: And if I could start today, before I start asking Pastor Steve questions, I'm going to start with Genesis 35.1.
• 0:53
  Speaker 2: It says God told Jacob to go to Bethel and settle there, build an altar to the God who appeared to you.
• 1:00
  Speaker 2: It was this idea of Jacob returning back to Bethel, returning back to God, and so, Pastor Steve, that's what we want to talk about today.
• 1:11
  Speaker 2: You guys talked a lot this last episode about the family, about spiritual leadership.
• 1:13
  Speaker 2: What does it look like for the family to be that kind of spiritual household that God would desire for us?
• 1:20
  Speaker 2: But for some families, they may be wondering well, what do I do?
• 1:24
  Speaker 2: We haven't been that kind of spiritual household.
• 1:27
  Speaker 2: We've been asleep at the wheel, so to speak.
• 1:30
  Speaker 2: So I guess what we want to talk about today is how do we return?
• 1:34
  Speaker 3: How do we get back to?
• 1:36
  Speaker 2: Bethel as a spiritual family.
• 1:38
  Speaker 3: Yeah, well, we all go through seasons of life and the pattern I've seen is that and it's not for everyone, but it's a large pattern they come out of high school, they go to college, they get away from their faith in college, they fast forward, they eventually get married and then, when they start having children, it dawns on them we probably ought to be in church.
• 2:06
  Speaker 3: Many times they were raised in church.
• 2:10
  Speaker 3: They had a faith, but they stepped away, took it off like a coat and laid it aside for a period of years.
• 2:18
  Speaker 3: And so I think, first of all, they've got to come to that realization.
• 2:23
  Speaker 3: There's something missing in our life and that's the worship of Holy God, and we have to remember the church is not the only place you can worship, but Christ died for His church.
• 2:37
  Speaker 3: He established His church.
• 2:39
  Speaker 3: He intends us to be a viable part of His church.
• 2:43
  Speaker 3: So I would encourage them to look around, find a good Bible-teaching church and just get back in there.
• 2:52
  Speaker 3: The old saying put one foot before the other.
• 2:56
  Speaker 3: The best way is to plan on a Saturday night that you're going to be somewhere in church on Sunday morning and get up and do it, and once they do it it'll become much easier for them.
• 3:12
  Speaker 2: So you know, a lot of times we, even as a family, sometimes we'll go through the steps.
• 3:19
  Speaker 2: We get back to church.
• 3:20
  Speaker 2: We, you know, we start trying to do the right things, start trying to move away from some of those things that turned us away from church in the beginning.
• 3:28
  Speaker 2: But what do you think some signs are?
• 3:31
  Speaker 2: Show us that we're drifting from God spiritually, even if we are in church every Sunday.
• 3:37
  Speaker 3: Oh well, the drift happens so easy.
• 3:44
  Speaker 3: You begin to feed your mind with things that are not healthy, productive from a spiritual standpoint, you begin to attend activities that are not healthy from a spiritual standpoint.
• 3:57
  Speaker 3: The Bible tells us, basically, that we feed our mind and then that becomes the person we are.
• 4:07
  Speaker 3: And so the old, original computer term some people pronounce it Graco, some people Graco garbage in, garbage out.
• 4:19
  Speaker 3: And even if you're attending church, if what you're feeding into your mind and into your heart is garbage, you're going to end up away from God with a huge separation.
• 4:34
  Speaker 3: And so, in order to stay close to him, you've got to be in Bible study, you've got to have a prayer life, and I know that sounds like a Sunday school answer, but those are actually your umbilical cords to your spiritual life.
• 4:51
  Speaker 3: That's how we stay connected to our Savior and that's how we stay in relationship with our Savior Mm-hmm.
• 5:00
  Speaker 2: One of the things I've always heard, being a parent for years now, is the importance of having like a family devotional time and all that.
• 5:09
  Speaker 2: And I know sometimes in our home over the years it's awkward at some times, sometimes it's just difficult.
• 5:16
  Speaker 2: How do you do that?
• 5:17
  Speaker 2: Do you have a family devotional time?
• 5:19
  Speaker 2: Is there ways to do that?
• 5:20
  Speaker 3: well, I'm not the guy to ask that.
• 5:23
  Speaker 3: With three boys, we tried for years to do a family devotion and we usually end up closing the Bibles and just fighting.
• 5:32
  Speaker 3: So I have great respect for anybody that can actually pull that off.
• 5:40
  Speaker 3: One of the things you got to be careful of in a family devotion is not to make it a I-got-you moment.
• 5:47
  Speaker 3: So, as a parent, you know the child's not cleaning the room and you're doing the devotion and you use that to correlate the two.
• 5:56
  Speaker 3: See, that's why you need to clean your room.
• 5:59
  Speaker 3: That will immediately turn your kids off from devotion, and mothers in particular have trouble keeping those concepts separated.
• 6:09
  Speaker 3: And so I would say, yeah, if you're going to have a good family devotion time, you can't use it to batter each other.
• 6:20
  Speaker 2: You know you got to just let God do the speaking Well how much do you think, then, does the example we set as parents, how critical is that as far as leading our families well?
• 6:33
  Speaker 3: Well, every survey I've seen in recent years says that a parent is still the most influential person in a child's life.
• 6:45
  Speaker 3: With social media and the onslaught we've got with it, I don't know how long that's going to hold up.
• 6:52
  Speaker 3: But the thing about a parent is you tend to get discouraged because you're trying to do it the way you believe the Lord wants you to do it and it doesn't look like the kid is getting it.
• 7:04
  Speaker 3: They're not hearing you.
• 7:06
  Speaker 3: But now, having three grown children, it's a blessing when you start seeing some of what you know you instilled of them start coming out and you're like oh, thank you, thank you, lord.
• 7:21
  Speaker 3: We did get a little bit in there, you know.
• 7:24
  Speaker 3: So I would tell parents number one it's not a perfect process.
• 7:28
  Speaker 3: You're dealing with human beings and so you be faithful, you do what it is I think the Lord would have you to do, which is certainly, however it's defined for you Bible study, prayer time, and I think God will honor that.
• 7:47
  Speaker 2: So let's talk about the role of the father.
• 7:49
  Speaker 2: What does God expect of a father as far as being the spiritual leader of his household?
• 7:55
  Speaker 3: Yeah, in modern-day America we've got some that are offended by that concept.
• 8:01
  Speaker 3: But that's what Scripture teaches the father is to be the spiritual leader of the home.
• 8:05
  Speaker 3: He's to be the gatekeeper, he's the protector, he's the leader.
• 8:12
  Speaker 3: Dad ought to be the one making sure we go into worship, we're reading our Bible, we're in prayer.
• 8:19
  Speaker 3: Dad ought to be the one leading the family to live in a way that's honoring to God.
• 8:25
  Speaker 3: And we have an epidemic in America, number one, of divorce, where you're void of fathers in the home, and then a lot of homes with fathers who are not the spiritual leaders.
• 8:39
  Speaker 3: And I'm not saying a woman can't be the spiritual leader in her home, so many are, just because they have to be.
• 8:48
  Speaker 3: But I'm telling you, I've seen it many, many times when a husband steps up and takes the role of spiritual leader, you can almost see his wife exhale.
• 9:10
  Speaker 2: She is so thankful for him doing what it is God has created him to do.
• 9:13
  Speaker 2: You know, when you look at Ephesians in chapter 6, where it talks about fathers and roles of the father and the mother, one of the things that passage seems to say is that we will have a responsibility for God before God for our families.
• 9:25
  Speaker 2: What's your thoughts on that?
• 9:27
  Speaker 2: Will we answer to God for our family?
• 9:31
  Speaker 3: I absolutely believe that's true.
• 9:32
  Speaker 3: You know, years ago I had a guy who was a good friend of ours leave the church.
• 9:37
  Speaker 3: You know, years ago I had a guy who was a good friend of ours leave the church because I made a statement in a sermon God hates divorce.
• 9:41
  Speaker 3: And he didn't tell me, he told someone else.
• 9:45
  Speaker 3: Who does he think he is speaking for God saying God hates divorce?
• 9:49
  Speaker 3: Well, Scripture says God hates divorce.
• 9:53
  Speaker 3: It wasn't my opinion, it was what God says, and that doesn't mean divorce can't be forgiven, but God hates the concept of breaking the covenant union.
• 10:04
  Speaker 3: So I think fathers need to understand God has given them a place in the development of their children, and every study that I've ever read says that the most healthy children come from two-parent households where a mother and a father are both engaged.
• 10:28
  Speaker 3: They tend to not drop out of school.
• 10:31
  Speaker 3: They tend to do better on tests.
• 10:33
  Speaker 3: Every facet of a child's life has a better opportunity when they come from a home where there's a strong father and a loving mother doing what it is God designed them to do.
• 10:47
  Speaker 2: Yeah, you know, we have an event here we've done with our children's ministry the last few years where it's like a guy's weekend for fathers and sons, and anytime we set that up I always think you know what is that like for a family without a dad there.
• 11:04
  Speaker 2: You know what's it like to be a mom saying, man, I wish I had a husband there to lead their son like that.
• 11:11
  Speaker 2: So as a church, how do we support, you know, that mom who's man?
• 11:15
  Speaker 2: She wants to do the right thing.
• 11:16
  Speaker 2: She wants her children to grow up loving Christ, you know.
• 11:20
  Speaker 2: But I know it's a much harder road for her.
• 11:23
  Speaker 2: How do we support her as a church?
• 11:25
  Speaker 3: Well, we've got to be willing to find men in our church that are willing to step up, sponsor that child, be a helper to that mom.
• 11:35
  Speaker 3: You know I tell these men all the time I have these hunting camps you need to pick a child and take them hunting.
• 11:43
  Speaker 3: You need to pick a child.
• 11:45
  Speaker 3: We got tons of men in our church with boats.
• 11:47
  Speaker 3: You need to pick a child and take them fishing.
• 11:50
  Speaker 3: You know so you don't have to become their actual dad, you just got to become somebody in their life that cares, and you'd be amazed the impact it'll have.
• 12:03
  Speaker 2: You know, I think back to when I was a children's minister all those years ago.
• 12:06
  Speaker 2: I can remember ladies who were in our ministry volunteering, coming to me and saying something to the effect of I've got to stop volunteering in children's ministry because my husband won't come to church unless I sit with him.
• 12:19
  Speaker 2: Oh, that burned me up so bad, you know, to think that was keeping somebody from doing what God called them to do.
• 12:26
  Speaker 2: But let's say there's a guy out there listening to us and he does want to be a spiritual leader, but he has no idea how to do it.
• 12:32
  Speaker 2: What would you tell him?
• 12:33
  Speaker 2: How do you start if you want to be that spiritual leader in the house?
• 12:36
  Speaker 2: Yeah, I do you start if you want to be that spiritual leader in the house.
• 12:38
  Speaker 3: Yeah, I think you come by the church and you see one of the ministers and you say, listen, can you help me with this?
• 12:44
  Speaker 3: And then one of us, or wherever he goes to church, that pastor can begin to give him some direction as to how to do that.
• 12:54
  Speaker 3: Yeah, so there's no shame in asking for help as to how to do that.
• 12:58
  Speaker 3: Yeah, so there's no shame in asking for help.
• 12:59
  Speaker 3: In fact, I think it would be a positive thing for any pastor to have one of his men to walk in the door and say I want to lead my family spiritually.
• 13:09
  Speaker 3: Can you help me?
• 13:10
  Speaker 3: Absolutely, we can help you with that.
• 13:12
  Speaker 3: We'd be excited to see that.
• 13:14
  Speaker 2: We'd be excited to do that to see that We'd be excited to do that.
• 13:17
  Speaker 2: In that last episode in the podcast you touched on some of those things that we've made priority over the years with families.
• 13:26
  Speaker 2: That shouldn't be priority Things like sports and social media and the camps and all those different things.
• 13:32
  Speaker 2: As families, as fathers, as mothers, how can we prepare our kids not to be sucked in by all these things?
• 13:43
  Speaker 2: How can we put those in their proper place?
• 13:45
  Speaker 3: I guess you could say yeah well, number one, you're teaching them verbally, but you're also teaching them actionably in the things you do.
• 13:55
  Speaker 3: Actionably in the things you do.
• 13:57
  Speaker 3: The old saying they learn more from what you do than what you say.
• 14:01
  Speaker 3: Or the old saying show me a sermon, don't preach me a sermon.
• 14:06
  Speaker 3: And that's as true in the family as anywhere.
• 14:14
  Speaker 3: I know you know you can't tell your kids don't drink and then you hit the bar every night after work.
• 14:17
  Speaker 3: It won't have a legitimate effect on your child.
• 14:21
  Speaker 3: But for example, in my home, coming from a home of alcoholics, as a child growing up I've always told my children we don't drink.
• 14:32
  Speaker 3: Likewise, there's never been alcohol in my home other than rubbing alcohol, you know.
• 14:39
  Speaker 3: And so we've tried to live by example of what we taught them also.
• 14:47
  Speaker 3: So we've tried to live by example of what we taught them also.
• 14:50
  Speaker 3: So if you want it to take, they've got to know you really believe what you're telling them or it's wasted words.
• 14:57
  Speaker 2: Yeah, so is there a place for things that we want to do Not so much alcohol, I'm talking about more like the sports, the fishing camps, the things we do as families.
• 15:11
  Speaker 2: Is there a way to do those but still prioritize God?
• 15:14
  Speaker 2: Oh, absolutely.
• 15:16
  Speaker 3: Absolutely.
• 15:16
  Speaker 3: It's only in the last few decades we've gotten to this place where sports and entertainment and leisure has become the new God.
• 15:27
  Speaker 3: You know, we've got one young family in our church and they do the sports thing.
• 15:34
  Speaker 3: They have a son that plays travel baseball.
• 15:37
  Speaker 3: They have a daughter that I think does travel, dance or cheerleading or something.
• 15:43
  Speaker 3: They're all over the country and I have known them to drive all night to be back in church on Sunday morning, and so what they're saying to their children is, hey, we've done this, we're glad to do this, but we're going to be in church in the morning.
• 16:02
  Speaker 3: And so I think the question is this so many of these things are not bad things, they're just not the best things.
• 16:13
  Speaker 3: So a parent has to ask themselves what is the best thing for our family?
• 16:20
  Speaker 3: What do we need to do?
• 16:24
  Speaker 3: And sometimes and I know for a fact, you can do it because I've done it.
• 16:29
  Speaker 3: Sometimes it's brutal on your schedule, it's tiring, but you can do both.
• 16:45
  Speaker 3: If you're a family that's a sports family, I promise you you don't have to play in a tournament every weekend for them to get better.
• 16:49
  Speaker 3: Pick those things, prioritize those things, with the most important thing being number one on the list and you'd be surprised.
• 17:02
  Speaker 3: We have a family here that has season tickets to the Saints and when the Saints play at home and kick off at 12 o'clock they go to the game.
• 17:16
  Speaker 3: But they go to First Baptist New Orleans and go to church over there before they go to the game.
• 17:22
  Speaker 3: So there's ways to say to your children this is the best thing, even if you're not in your own home church this weekend.
• 17:32
  Speaker 3: Let's make church a priority, because what families are saying to their children is it's not important, and we're going to have a whole generation before long that claim to be Christians, that see no need for anything that comes with that term the church, the fellowship, any of that Well, you know you talk about the church being a priority with the activities you do.
• 18:04
  Speaker 2: That brings up a good question.
• 18:05
  Speaker 2: You know we live in a society now that I would say church is not that important.
• 18:12
  Speaker 2: It's a nice thing if you want to go there.
• 18:14
  Speaker 2: It's a nice place to take your kids if you want moral training for them.
• 18:18
  Speaker 2: Why is it so important for us to bring our families to church regularly, every Sunday if possible?
• 18:24
  Speaker 3: Well, what you're doing is you're putting a moral foundation in your church.
• 18:30
  Speaker 3: I knew a guy 30 years ago who was in church every Sunday.
• 18:37
  Speaker 3: He was not a Christian and I asked him.
• 18:41
  Speaker 3: I said why do you go to church every week if you're not a Christian?
• 18:44
  Speaker 3: He said because I believe in the importance of the moral teaching that my kids are getting there.
• 18:51
  Speaker 3: Okay, so here was a guy who didn't even know Jesus, but he understood the need in his children for a good moral foundation.
• 19:03
  Speaker 3: Unfortunately, we've got a lot of Christians that don't understand.
• 19:06
  Speaker 3: It's not about just attending a service and saying we went to church this weekend.
• 19:11
  Speaker 3: What you get at church is not just your spiritual foundation, it's the fabric that this nation was founded on.
• 19:20
  Speaker 3: We were founded on a moral fabric, and the reason we're having all the problems we're having in our country right now is we've raised now several generations of people with no moral foundation.
• 19:35
  Speaker 3: And so, yeah, I have no problem killing you because life is not precious to me.
• 19:41
  Speaker 3: I have no problem stealing from the local drugstore, because that's not stealing, that's owed to me anyway.
• 19:49
  Speaker 3: And so if we're going to survive as a society, let alone a church, we have got to impress upon young families, the importance of being in the Lord's house.
• 20:04
  Speaker 2: Yeah, you know, I've heard over the years.
• 20:06
  Speaker 2: I've heard different parents at different times over the years say something to the effect of well, I just believe it's not right for me to tell my kids what to believe.
• 20:16
  Speaker 2: They need to make that decision on their own.
• 20:18
  Speaker 2: So, in other words, they didn't feel it was morally right to make their kids go to church, to make their kids be trained up in the way of Christ.
• 20:27
  Speaker 2: What would you say to that one?
• 20:32
  Speaker 3: I want to be careful here.
• 20:33
  Speaker 3: I would say that's one of the saddest statements I've ever heard.
• 20:37
  Speaker 3: You were entrusted by holy God with this precious life and you don't let that kid to decide what they're going to eat.
• 20:48
  Speaker 3: Usually, you won't let them decide when they're going to eat.
• 20:52
  Speaker 3: You won't let them decide whether to bathe or not.
• 20:55
  Speaker 3: You'll pick their friends for them to play with.
• 20:59
  Speaker 3: You'll pick their clothes for them.
• 21:01
  Speaker 3: But something as important as their eternal security, something as important as the fabric of their faith in God, you're going to leave totally to chance, and so it's the most irresponsible statement that I've ever heard.
• 21:22
  Speaker 2: Any last thoughts on families, on spiritual leadership, on your family, Any last thoughts on families on?
• 21:27
  Speaker 3: spiritual leadership on your family.
• 21:28
  Speaker 3: Yeah, our families in America are designed to be a part.
• 21:33
  Speaker 3: It started with the New Deal, with the Johnson administration, and we reward families that do not have a dad in the home.
• 21:44
  Speaker 3: We pay their bills, we give them food supplements, we do whatever, and that's a wonderful thing.
• 21:51
  Speaker 3: But here's the problem Most of these people societally are considered the working poor, and so they have no choice but to live apart if they're going to get the help they need to survive.
• 22:06
  Speaker 3: And so our government if that dad comes home, he lives in the family, he's doing what he ought to do they cut off that assistance to help them.
• 22:17
  Speaker 3: And I think if our government could wake up and understand it's okay to help the working poor they don't have to be divorced to do that.
• 22:27
  Speaker 3: But I know people personally who have divorced so the mother could get weak for the baby, things like this.
• 22:35
  Speaker 3: And so as a government, we need to wake up, you know, and dads need to understand that the role that God has given them in the home is vital.
• 22:50
  Speaker 3: It's not something nice to do, it has to be done, and so we've got several generations now raised without fathers in the home and we wonder how we got where we are.
• 23:06
  Speaker 3: We need our dads to step up, and I know many that have, and they're doing a wonderful job.
• 23:15
  Speaker 3: We've just got to add to the numbers, yeah, yeah.
• 23:19
  Speaker 2: All right.
• 23:20
  Speaker 2: Well, I appreciate your time Absolutely, If you were listening.
• 23:24
  Speaker 2: Thank you so much for being with us for Episode 10 as families, and we hope to catch up with you next time, If you were listening.
• 23:26
  Speaker 2: Thank you so much for being with us for episode 10 as families, and we hope to catch up with you next time.