Latest / I Choose Me with Jennie Garth / Where To Meet Men IRL, No BS

Transcript

Where To Meet Men IRL, No BS · I Choose Me with Jennie Garth

• 0:10
  Speaker 1: I Do. Part two is a one of a kind
• 0:15
  Speaker 1: of experiment in podcasting and love. Now, if you didn't
• 0:18
  Speaker 1: get loved right the first time, which, let's be honest,
• 0:20
  Speaker 1: we all know most of us probably don't, Our hosts
• 0:24
  Speaker 1: and our celebrity mentors are here to help you get
• 0:26
  Speaker 1: it right the next time. I'm one of the celebrity
• 0:28
  Speaker 1: mentors today and I'm hosting the show. I'm Bob Guinea.
• 0:31
  Speaker 1: You might know me from The Bachelrette from trist the
• 0:33
  Speaker 1: season way way back, and The Bachelor from my own
• 0:35
  Speaker 1: season way way back, and also now the podcast Almost
• 0:38
  Speaker 1: Famous the Ogs, which Tristan I host together. And I
• 0:42
  Speaker 1: know that love is not all roses and helicopters and
• 0:44
  Speaker 1: volcanoes and all sorts of crazy things that happen on
• 0:47
  Speaker 1: the Bachelor franchise, and sometimes you find your forever person
• 0:51
  Speaker 1: the second time around. Right, So today I am joined
• 0:54
  Speaker 1: by two other members of Bachelor Nation. You know my
• 0:56
  Speaker 1: great buddy I love him to death when he was
• 0:58
  Speaker 1: a star of season thirteen. And we've also got a
• 1:01
  Speaker 1: fan favorite from the season of The Golden Bachelorette. Please
• 1:04
  Speaker 1: welcome Jason Mesnik and Gary Levingston to the podcast. Hey guys,
• 1:09
  Speaker 1: and Ba's here. I know, I'm telling you, buddy. Well,
• 1:12
  Speaker 1: you know, I do feel like we are going og
• 1:15
  Speaker 1: status here too, because Jason, I think you and I
• 1:18
  Speaker 1: might be the oldest Bachelor's right from the actual Bachelor franchise.
• 1:23
  Speaker 1: Well yeah, see, the first thing that goes is to
• 1:25
  Speaker 1: hearing I'm telling you. And then Gary, you know, even
• 1:28
  Speaker 1: though you look incredibly young, you just came off of
• 1:31
  Speaker 1: the Golden Bacherette with Joan. So great to have you,
• 1:34
  Speaker 1: guys man, thank you for being here. Yeah, it's awesome.
• 1:38
  Speaker 2: Yeah, thanks for having me.
• 1:39
  Speaker 1: So Gary, real quick, tell me you know how you're feeling,
• 1:42
  Speaker 1: you know, coming off of the show. I mean, obviously
• 1:44
  Speaker 1: the show has been a big hit. How have you
• 1:46
  Speaker 1: felt coming off of the show and how has everyone
• 1:47
  Speaker 1: been responded to you since you've been back home.
• 1:49
  Speaker 2: Well, it's been pretty exciting, you know. I have to
• 1:51
  Speaker 2: tell you, this whole celebrity status thing is far from
• 1:56
  Speaker 2: my retirement world that I was a part of, which
• 1:58
  Speaker 2: is a very quiet, peaceful thing. And now you go
• 2:01
  Speaker 2: to market, I go to my local Indian Wells coffee
• 2:04
  Speaker 2: shop and everyone wants to take pictures. So it's it's
• 2:08
  Speaker 2: pretty it's pretty amazing. Keeping it fun, but also keeping
• 2:11
  Speaker 2: the in perspective, So it's been a lot of fun.
• 2:14
  Speaker 1: Yeah, I think. I think that's probably one of the
• 2:16
  Speaker 1: things you know from a personal perspective, and I'm sure
• 2:19
  Speaker 1: Jason will agree. You know, one of the greatest parts
• 2:21
  Speaker 1: about the show is is you know, especially when you've
• 2:24
  Speaker 1: been fortunate enough to be edited well, which I know
• 2:26
  Speaker 1: I was. You know, it's nice the way people respond
• 2:29
  Speaker 1: to you when you're out there and you hear all
• 2:30
  Speaker 1: the nice things and all the great response. I mean, Jason,
• 2:33
  Speaker 1: I remember you and I being out together in Seattle
• 2:35
  Speaker 1: a couple of times, and it was pretty fun. It
• 2:38
  Speaker 1: was really good. I mean, I'm sure you still get
• 2:41
  Speaker 1: it every day. I mean, you got your real estate
• 2:43
  Speaker 1: firm that you're running and everything else, and with you
• 2:45
  Speaker 1: and Molly, i mean, it's got to just be so
• 2:47
  Speaker 1: much fun. It's a blast.
• 2:48
  Speaker 3: I mean obviously, like you know, when you're on their show,
• 2:51
  Speaker 3: kind of spikes and everybody's like, hey, selfie this, selfie that,
• 2:53
  Speaker 3: And as the years go by, they're like, did I
• 2:55
  Speaker 3: used to work with you?
• 2:57
  Speaker 1: Like you look like to be out of high school together?
• 3:00
  Speaker 3: Yeah, you look at the Bachelor just a little fatter,
• 3:01
  Speaker 3: you know, It's like I'm like, I'm big boom.
• 3:06
  Speaker 1: You know. That's my life.
• 3:07
  Speaker 2: That's my life.
• 3:09
  Speaker 1: Hey man, I've often said it, man, you know, like
• 3:12
  Speaker 1: I'm like, I think people remember me for trist this
• 3:13
  Speaker 1: season because I was the only one that you know,
• 3:15
  Speaker 1: didn't have a six pack, right I did. I didn't
• 3:17
  Speaker 1: pack my six pack for that trip. All right, Yeah, yeah,
• 3:21
  Speaker 1: I'm telling you, buddy. Now, Amy Roback and TJ Holmes
• 3:24
  Speaker 1: are a big part of this show. Obviously. TJ made
• 3:27
  Speaker 1: a really great, great quote on one of the previous
• 3:29
  Speaker 1: episodes that I think really resonates, like, let's take a listen.
• 3:32
  Speaker 4: Why can't people just meet people? We see people all
• 3:35
  Speaker 4: the time, but we don't give people that we see
• 3:37
  Speaker 4: on the train or at a restaurant or down we're
• 3:39
  Speaker 4: looking at our phone when the love of your life
• 3:41
  Speaker 4: might be at the end of the book.
• 3:43
  Speaker 1: So true, right, I mean, we all get so caught
• 3:45
  Speaker 1: up in that, especially in today's day and age with
• 3:48
  Speaker 1: smartphones and everything else. I mean, we've all chosen to
• 3:51
  Speaker 1: find love the old fashioned way, like going on a
• 3:52
  Speaker 1: TV show and handing out flowers, right, but then this
• 3:55
  Speaker 1: new fangled smart app stuff comes out, you know. So
• 3:59
  Speaker 1: I mean let's talk about that a little bit. I mean,
• 4:01
  Speaker 1: how how was life different for all of us obviously
• 4:05
  Speaker 1: prior to our times on the show as well, but
• 4:07
  Speaker 1: back in the day before you had apps. I mean,
• 4:10
  Speaker 1: people will always say to me, like, well, did you
• 4:11
  Speaker 1: ever use an app? I'm like, no, I really I
• 4:13
  Speaker 1: never had, because after I came off of the show,
• 4:16
  Speaker 1: I wasn't. I was. I immediately jumped into a different relationship.
• 4:20
  Speaker 1: Next thing, you know, I was dating, and then we
• 4:22
  Speaker 1: got married and divorced, and you know, and then Jason,
• 4:24
  Speaker 1: I mean, you went on the show, you come off
• 4:26
  Speaker 1: the show, and you obviously had such an emotional ending
• 4:29
  Speaker 1: to year season which changed your whole life, and it
• 4:32
  Speaker 1: was pretty you know, spectacular, And to this day, Ranks
• 4:35
  Speaker 1: is one of the favorite moments on the show. And
• 4:38
  Speaker 1: you know, what are some of the ways that we
• 4:39
  Speaker 1: used to meet people before the apps? Like do you
• 4:41
  Speaker 1: guys even remember way back then?
• 4:43
  Speaker 3: You know, It's funny, like I was thinking about this
• 4:45
  Speaker 3: and the last person that I met, and this is
• 4:48
  Speaker 3: no joke, is in a parking garage.
• 4:51
  Speaker 1: I just remember that. Like I think back in my younger.
• 4:54
  Speaker 3: Days, like I would have been so intimidated and this
• 4:57
  Speaker 3: has nothing to do with the Bachelor.
• 4:59
  Speaker 1: I was nervous.
• 5:00
  Speaker 3: We're all nervous about rejection, and maybe that's why people
• 5:02
  Speaker 3: are quiet, you know, if they're sitting on a train
• 5:04
  Speaker 3: or a bus or whatever.
• 5:05
  Speaker 1: But I remember, like at one point I was like,
• 5:07
  Speaker 1: screw this.
• 5:08
  Speaker 3: And I saw a cute girl in a parking garage
• 5:10
  Speaker 3: and I was like, hey, I know this is awkward,
• 5:12
  Speaker 3: and I'm it could come off a little bit creepy,
• 5:14
  Speaker 3: but like, would you like I could grab a cup
• 5:16
  Speaker 3: of coffee?
• 5:17
  Speaker 1: And I think that was the last time before.
• 5:19
  Speaker 3: You know, I think you almost have to put yourself
• 5:21
  Speaker 3: in a position where you're like it's almost like like
• 5:25
  Speaker 3: I'm in sales.
• 5:25
  Speaker 1: Right, Like you gotta read a lot a lot of
• 5:27
  Speaker 1: feelers out there. Not yeah, yeah, like you know they
• 5:31
  Speaker 1: always say what ten knows forevery yes type of thing,
• 5:34
  Speaker 1: and yeah, that's.
• 5:35
  Speaker 2: A life of that's a life of your world in sales.
• 5:37
  Speaker 1: Absolutely right, totally the doors.
• 5:39
  Speaker 2: And we're gonna knock on before the one finally opens
• 5:42
  Speaker 2: and let me in.
• 5:44
  Speaker 1: Well, Gary, what about you? I mean, you know, obviously
• 5:47
  Speaker 1: you know the whole concept of the Golden Bachelor ad
• 5:49
  Speaker 1: and the Golden Bachelor is people who have come on
• 5:52
  Speaker 1: who you know, are looking for that second chance at
• 5:54
  Speaker 1: love and yeah, you know before you before you did
• 5:56
  Speaker 1: it now which is probably now considered one of the
• 5:58
  Speaker 1: old fashion ways, which is handing out on TV or
• 6:00
  Speaker 1: taking a flower. You know, how did you how did
• 6:03
  Speaker 1: you meet people? How did you find how did you
• 6:05
  Speaker 1: kind of search for that special someone?
• 6:07
  Speaker 2: Well, you know, back in my day, it was discoer, right,
• 6:10
  Speaker 2: so everybody was out at the club dancing, and before
• 6:13
  Speaker 2: the night was over, obviously you were leaving with someone
• 6:17
  Speaker 2: that could have potentially been your girlfriend and ultimately, uh,
• 6:21
  Speaker 2: someone that you date for a while. So yeah, it
• 6:23
  Speaker 2: was completely different going out dancing the night away and
• 6:27
  Speaker 2: meeting someone and you know, in that way as opposed
• 6:29
  Speaker 2: to online like batch dot com or these other dating sites.
• 6:33
  Speaker 2: So yeah, completely different world.
• 6:36
  Speaker 1: Well I will I will say this. I mean, you know,
• 6:38
  Speaker 1: I hear, you know, I hear some stories of success
• 6:42
  Speaker 1: from the the online stuff and all that from friends
• 6:45
  Speaker 1: and everything. But I also hear a lot of stories
• 6:47
  Speaker 1: of of of that not working because people are just swiping,
• 6:50
  Speaker 1: and you know, it's almost become like a hookup app
• 6:52
  Speaker 1: and less of an actual dating app to a certain degree.
• 6:56
  Speaker 1: You know, my wife, it's actually kind of crazy Bachelor.
• 7:01
  Speaker 1: I had kind of decided, you know what, I'm not
• 7:03
  Speaker 1: going to get married again. I'm good. So I got
• 7:05
  Speaker 1: married before the Bachelor. I'm like, I'm not going to
• 7:07
  Speaker 1: get married again. I'm actually really enjoying, you know, being
• 7:10
  Speaker 1: you know, in the situation I'm in, which was just
• 7:12
  Speaker 1: being the single, being honest and dating, but at the
• 7:14
  Speaker 1: same time not having that pressure. But as I got older,
• 7:18
  Speaker 1: I realized, man, I really wanted to have a family,
• 7:20
  Speaker 1: and I feel like this has become the old fashioned way,
• 7:24
  Speaker 1: which was my co host at the time. I had
• 7:26
  Speaker 1: a radio show, a daily radio show, and my co
• 7:29
  Speaker 1: host's really good friend. I met her and ended up
• 7:33
  Speaker 1: marrying her. So I got to know her through friends
• 7:36
  Speaker 1: socially hanging out. You know. Then you'd be in certain
• 7:38
  Speaker 1: situations and you know, you'd all be together and it
• 7:41
  Speaker 1: was kind of natural and fun and organic. You know, Gary,
• 7:45
  Speaker 1: I know you've you've got children in it were you
• 7:47
  Speaker 1: were you married previously or what's your story?
• 7:49
  Speaker 2: Yeah, married for seventeen years, and you're right. You go
• 7:54
  Speaker 2: through this thing of I want to have a wife,
• 7:57
  Speaker 2: I want to raise the kids and the two dogs
• 8:00
  Speaker 2: in the suburbs, you know, going to and from work,
• 8:03
  Speaker 2: and you build this great life around that, and then
• 8:05
  Speaker 2: you find that you've actually taken separate roads with where
• 8:09
  Speaker 2: you are once the kids leave the house. Yeah, and
• 8:12
  Speaker 2: then ultimately going back to I'm lonely. I would love
• 8:16
  Speaker 2: to have companionship. I do want to be married because
• 8:19
  Speaker 2: I believe in the institution of marriage, and that's where
• 8:22
  Speaker 2: I'm at now. You know, I'm searching again for a companionship,
• 8:26
  Speaker 2: a partner, and someone that I can walk on those
• 8:29
  Speaker 2: global sandy beaches with, not by myself, but with someone
• 8:33
  Speaker 2: that I actually am in love with and who loves
• 8:35
  Speaker 2: me as well.
• 8:36
  Speaker 1: So absolutely, Hey, Jason, you know, I don't think I
• 8:39
  Speaker 1: already asked you, and I hope you don't mind me asking,
• 8:41
  Speaker 1: But you know before obviously, I think the world knows
• 8:44
  Speaker 1: you know, how you met Molly, and we'll definitely touch
• 8:46
  Speaker 1: on that. But you were married prior to the show,
• 8:49
  Speaker 1: as was I. How how did you meet your ex wife?
• 8:52
  Speaker 1: You know, like I think about that all the time.
• 8:53
  Speaker 1: My ex you know, I met her working at like
• 8:58
  Speaker 1: Benegan's as a bartender in college. Like, how did you
• 9:00
  Speaker 1: meet your ex? And how did you guys end up
• 9:02
  Speaker 1: getting Yeah, I mean you're exactly right.
• 9:04
  Speaker 3: I think, like I guess, if I think about it,
• 9:06
  Speaker 3: if I was single right now, I would absolutely do
• 9:08
  Speaker 3: everything right.
• 9:09
  Speaker 1: It'd be in person, online, whatever.
• 9:11
  Speaker 3: But again, like this is before texting, right, Like you know,
• 9:14
  Speaker 3: when the phones were just to call people. So my
• 9:17
  Speaker 3: best friend from growing up, he was a bartender at
• 9:19
  Speaker 3: a restaurant and my ex wife worked at the restaurant.
• 9:23
  Speaker 1: Yeah, and you go there.
• 9:24
  Speaker 3: You know, you'd go there and I'd hang out because
• 9:26
  Speaker 3: I was single, I'd go hang out at the bar,
• 9:28
  Speaker 3: you know, even with friends or even by myself. And
• 9:31
  Speaker 3: while you're there, you just meet people organically. And I
• 9:33
  Speaker 3: think it kind of goes back to just being open.
• 9:36
  Speaker 3: And I know it's scary, like putting yourself in positions
• 9:38
  Speaker 3: where you normally wouldn't want to be.
• 9:41
  Speaker 1: But like if you if you put yourself in.
• 9:43
  Speaker 3: Those positions where you're a little uncomfortable, what's that what's
• 9:46
  Speaker 3: that saying?
• 9:47
  Speaker 1: Get comfortable being uncomfortable?
• 9:49
  Speaker 2: Yes, what you're doing.
• 9:51
  Speaker 3: I think if you do that kind of stuff, like
• 9:52
  Speaker 3: you just open yourself up to meeting so many different people.
• 9:55
  Speaker 1: Oh, that's so true. You got to put it out there.
• 9:57
  Speaker 1: You got to be willing to get hurt. Yeah, and
• 9:59
  Speaker 1: then you know, kind of like me when I when
• 10:01
  Speaker 1: I met Canyon, I wasn't looking anymore. I was like,
• 10:05
  Speaker 1: I'm good, you know, I'm totally fine. And then we
• 10:08
  Speaker 1: ended up getting together, and you know, ten years later,
• 10:11
  Speaker 1: we've got a couple of kids, and it's like, you know,
• 10:12
  Speaker 1: this whole different world. But yeah, and Jason tell us,
• 10:15
  Speaker 1: you know, remind our listeners about your Molly's story. I mean,
• 10:18
  Speaker 1: I know it's something you've talked about ad nauseum, but
• 10:21
  Speaker 1: I love it. Oh gosh.
• 10:23
  Speaker 3: Well, I mean, so I did the Bachelorette first, the
• 10:26
  Speaker 3: Bachelorette Bachelor at four. Her name was Deana Pappas, and
• 10:30
  Speaker 3: she was awesome. She picked another guy on the show,
• 10:32
  Speaker 3: and then they asked me to be the bachelor, and
• 10:34
  Speaker 3: so fast forward to it, and I honestly think they
• 10:37
  Speaker 3: were looking for this like single dad story, and so
• 10:40
  Speaker 3: they picked me. And my son at the time was
• 10:43
  Speaker 3: three and now he's in freaking college.
• 10:45
  Speaker 1: I mean, isn't that amazing. Yeah, we're going to parents'
• 10:49
  Speaker 1: weekend at his fraternity this weekend.
• 10:51
  Speaker 2: Oh my gosh, college man, that's full grown man.
• 10:55
  Speaker 3: Though, God, you know, the show for me, it was
• 10:59
  Speaker 3: it was super fun to learn how to they made
• 11:02
  Speaker 3: a reality.
• 11:02
  Speaker 1: Show and go through that whole process.
• 11:04
  Speaker 3: But like at the end of it, I picked somebody
• 11:06
  Speaker 3: else and her name was Melissa, and she was awesome
• 11:10
  Speaker 3: and we dated for about a month and a half.
• 11:12
  Speaker 1: After the show and through that whole process.
• 11:14
  Speaker 3: Her and I kind of realized that we weren't gonna
• 11:16
  Speaker 3: make it long term. So I called up and asked
• 11:18
  Speaker 3: the producers. This is before the show even aired, like,
• 11:21
  Speaker 3: so we'd already filmed everything, and I called up and
• 11:23
  Speaker 3: told the producers, I'm like, it just didn't work out
• 11:26
  Speaker 3: between Melissa and I kind of have a chance with Molly,
• 11:29
  Speaker 3: and they basically said, you can have the shot. But
• 11:32
  Speaker 3: just realized we've already asked her to be the Bachelorette
• 11:34
  Speaker 3: next year. If you're gonna ask her, you got to
• 11:38
  Speaker 3: ask her on TV because we need some serious reactions.
• 11:45
  Speaker 1: So it all worked out, right, It all worked out.
• 11:47
  Speaker 3: I'm still wondering why she chose me over the Bachelorette,
• 11:50
  Speaker 3: but that's a whole other episode probably.
• 11:52
  Speaker 2: But a good looking guy you're seeing like a great guy,
• 11:55
  Speaker 2: that's why she chose me.
• 11:58
  Speaker 3: Yeah, yeah, I mean I guess, I guess, you know,
• 12:00
  Speaker 3: I kind of go back to Malli. Mally's got those
• 12:01
  Speaker 3: good you know, good Midwestern roots, Midwestern roots, buddy. Yeah,
• 12:05
  Speaker 3: and she was not willing to go back and do that,
• 12:07
  Speaker 3: and she's willing to take a shot at you know this,
• 12:10
  Speaker 3: this Seattle guy.
• 12:11
  Speaker 1: Whereabouts are you located?
• 12:12
  Speaker 2: Gary, I'm in southern California, the Sunshine state of the
• 12:16
  Speaker 2: of the Union here absolutely, Curtly in Palm Desert from
• 12:20
  Speaker 2: Los Angeles, so the big city, and then finally retired
• 12:24
  Speaker 2: out here in Palm Desert. So it's been it's been
• 12:26
  Speaker 2: great over the past nine ten years that I've been here.
• 12:30
  Speaker 1: Yeah, I used to. I lived in Studio City for
• 12:32
  Speaker 1: ten years and loved it and then you know, I mean,
• 12:35
  Speaker 1: but that's one thing that you have as an advantage, right,
• 12:37
  Speaker 1: Like Jason has been in Seattle forever. I live in
• 12:40
  Speaker 1: Seattle for a little while too, and now I'm back
• 12:42
  Speaker 1: in Michigan. We don't we you know, we've got a
• 12:44
  Speaker 1: concentrated set of months where we can be out, you know,
• 12:47
  Speaker 1: as single people, you know, work in the circuit, so
• 12:49
  Speaker 1: to speak. You got twelve months, you got twelve months
• 12:52
  Speaker 1: a year. You could be working that angle, can't you.
• 12:54
  Speaker 2: Yeah, not only twelve months. But you know, for me,
• 12:56
  Speaker 2: athletics and sports is a big thing. So we have
• 12:59
  Speaker 2: our LAED. I'm a Trojan alum, so I got the
• 13:02
  Speaker 2: Trojans football games, we have the Laker games. Those sporting
• 13:06
  Speaker 2: events are also some great places to go in and
• 13:10
  Speaker 2: find folks as well, so you know, yeah, and it's
• 13:12
  Speaker 2: your round, it really is.
• 13:14
  Speaker 3: What about what about you're in Palm Springs, what about
• 13:16
  Speaker 3: like the golfing world, Like I feel like that's such
• 13:19
  Speaker 3: such a thing, the thing that people.
• 13:20
  Speaker 1: Do down there.
• 13:21
  Speaker 2: It is, and golfing is one of the top things.
• 13:24
  Speaker 2: We've got some of the best courses in the world.
• 13:27
  Speaker 2: But you know, once you get out on the course,
• 13:30
  Speaker 2: you don't see anybody for hours, so it's not like
• 13:33
  Speaker 2: it's a real social environment as opposed to the foursome
• 13:37
  Speaker 2: that you're playing in. And then we also have the
• 13:40
  Speaker 2: Big B and P Tennis Tournament, the BNP, which is
• 13:43
  Speaker 2: another event, so you know, those are fun things. But yeah,
• 13:46
  Speaker 2: golfing is once you're out there, you're you're out there.
• 13:51
  Speaker 1: Yeah, yeah, no doubt. Yeah, You've got four four hours.
• 13:53
  Speaker 1: And I feel so much guilt because I'm you know,
• 13:55
  Speaker 1: I'm fifty three. I got a five year old and
• 13:57
  Speaker 1: a three year old, and I love to play golf,
• 13:58
  Speaker 1: and you know, any time I get a chance to
• 14:00
  Speaker 1: do it, everyone's like, well, let's go out on Sunday.
• 14:02
  Speaker 1: I'm like, no, no, we're not doing that. That's family day.
• 14:04
  Speaker 1: But you know, how about how about Thursday afternoon? No
• 14:08
  Speaker 1: picking up junior from school? You know? So yeah, yeah, yeah,
• 14:13
  Speaker 1: sports man. But you know, we actually have a caller
• 14:16
  Speaker 1: who's going to ask us a question, and this is
• 14:18
  Speaker 1: really going to put our knowledge to the test. Guys,
• 14:20
  Speaker 1: We're gonna see if we can't help out our listener. Audrey,
• 14:34
  Speaker 1: Good morning, gentlemen. Hi Audrey, thanks so much for colling.
• 14:38
  Speaker 5: Thank you guys.
• 14:39
  Speaker 1: So Audrey, you've got a panel of Bachelor Nation experts here.
• 14:45
  Speaker 1: We've got you know, twenty two years ago for the
• 14:48
  Speaker 1: show for me, how many years ago for Jason fifteen yep,
• 14:52
  Speaker 1: fifteen ago, and of course fresh and hot off the griddle.
• 14:57
  Speaker 1: We got Gary from Jones season of the Golden Bachelorette.
• 15:00
  Speaker 1: So you got you got, and you've got different generational
• 15:04
  Speaker 1: takes too, right, So you got Gary. I don't hope
• 15:07
  Speaker 1: you don't mind me saying this that Gary's in his
• 15:09
  Speaker 1: sixties I'm in my fifties. On me too, buddy, ad
• 15:13
  Speaker 1: Jason's in his forties. So we got the gamut covered.
• 15:15
  Speaker 1: And I know never to ask a lady her age,
• 15:18
  Speaker 1: so I will just say that we know that you are,
• 15:20
  Speaker 1: you know, in your twenties, and you're looking for ways
• 15:23
  Speaker 1: to and to ask us a question, So go ahead
• 15:27
  Speaker 1: and give it to us. So I am sixty four.
• 15:31
  Speaker 5: I was married for twenty five years.
• 15:35
  Speaker 1: It looked great, by the way, absolutely.
• 15:37
  Speaker 5: Oh, thank you. I was married for twenty five years
• 15:41
  Speaker 5: and then had two I have two adult children, so
• 15:44
  Speaker 5: now I'm a grandmother Gigi of three, and I set
• 15:50
  Speaker 5: myself up for being able to retire early and watch
• 15:55
  Speaker 5: my grandchildren well in the meantime from my divorce. I've
• 15:59
  Speaker 5: been divorced for twenty one years and I've been engaged
• 16:03
  Speaker 5: three times. Yeah, so I just say I've dodged a
• 16:08
  Speaker 5: bullet three times. But now I'm at the part in
• 16:12
  Speaker 5: my life where it's like I could be so happy
• 16:15
  Speaker 5: just being by myself and I'm self supporting, I'm debt free.
• 16:21
  Speaker 5: I'm loving my retirement home here in Jacksonville, Oregon, which
• 16:27
  Speaker 5: is a little historic town, and that's where it comes
• 16:32
  Speaker 5: to the big question where do you meet men when
• 16:37
  Speaker 5: you know you're in your sixties like Gary, and you know,
• 16:41
  Speaker 5: we dated differently, and who we were looking for back
• 16:45
  Speaker 5: in our early years isn't who we're looking for the
• 16:50
  Speaker 5: second half of our life, and it's you know, I've
• 16:55
  Speaker 5: done the dating app thing when I was newly divorced,
• 16:58
  Speaker 5: but that was a long time ago, and I'm not
• 17:00
  Speaker 5: really someone that goes to bars. So that is the
• 17:04
  Speaker 5: big question, where do you meet men?
• 17:07
  Speaker 2: Yeah, if I could jump in, because we're from that
• 17:10
  Speaker 2: same era where you know, back when we were coming
• 17:15
  Speaker 2: through the pipeline, so to speak, it was all about
• 17:19
  Speaker 2: going to the nightclub or going to the disco or
• 17:22
  Speaker 2: going to something like that where we were dancing and
• 17:26
  Speaker 2: the entertainment was happening. And now, like you said that,
• 17:29
  Speaker 2: you've got grandkids and you're so used to that little
• 17:32
  Speaker 2: world that you are part of it. I don't mean
• 17:35
  Speaker 2: little as in small or tiny. It's just we create
• 17:38
  Speaker 2: the bubble that we are now part of. The ironic
• 17:42
  Speaker 2: thing is, from my perspective, you're still out there having
• 17:49
  Speaker 2: fun doing something. You go in Jacksonville to your kids,
• 17:55
  Speaker 2: in your grand their events like at the soccer games
• 17:59
  Speaker 2: or yes. Are there any professional sports or are there
• 18:03
  Speaker 2: any sports like high school games or anything like that.
• 18:08
  Speaker 5: Yes, So basically I'm in southern Oregon, you know, just
• 18:12
  Speaker 5: incorporate that thirty miles from California. So I mean it
• 18:16
  Speaker 5: is the bigger you know, the valley, and they do
• 18:20
  Speaker 5: have there's a lot to do here because you know
• 18:25
  Speaker 5: where it's located.
• 18:27
  Speaker 2: Yeah.
• 18:30
  Speaker 5: I think the thing is is, though, is when you
• 18:33
  Speaker 5: go to certain things, men don't seem to be as
• 18:39
  Speaker 5: easily to approach women.
• 18:42
  Speaker 1: You know.
• 18:43
  Speaker 5: I don't know if it's like they are afraid of
• 18:45
  Speaker 5: the failure or they're going to get rejection or what
• 18:52
  Speaker 5: I mean. I don't wear a wedding ring. You know,
• 18:56
  Speaker 5: I'm pretty open and and can carry conversation with anybody.
• 19:04
  Speaker 1: Yeah, I'll tell you what. Audrey, thank you so much
• 19:07
  Speaker 1: for calling, and thank you for your question, and thank
• 19:10
  Speaker 1: you for being so open and vulnerable and putting yourself
• 19:12
  Speaker 1: out there. You know, I think we're going to dig
• 19:15
  Speaker 1: into this a little bit and we're going to get
• 19:18
  Speaker 1: you some answers. So thank you again for joining us,
• 19:21
  Speaker 1: thank you for your question. So have a wonderful day. Now, guys,
• 19:25
  Speaker 1: we got to dive into this. Now we got to
• 19:27
  Speaker 1: give the listeners what they want. Audrey is obviously asking
• 19:29
  Speaker 1: us a very direct question, which I love, and it's
• 19:32
  Speaker 1: actually the number one question that our listeners want to
• 19:34
  Speaker 1: know the answers to. Okay, So I think that's pretty
• 19:37
  Speaker 1: spectacular and great follow up question too, Gary, I think
• 19:40
  Speaker 1: you know some of the things that we know about
• 19:41
  Speaker 1: Audrey in particular, right, she's sixty four years old, obviously
• 19:45
  Speaker 1: looks very youthful, you know, still active and everything else.
• 19:49
  Speaker 1: You know, two adult children, a grandmother, a gig of three,
• 19:53
  Speaker 1: which is adorable, by the way, And I think I
• 19:55
  Speaker 1: think I need to tell my mom she needs to
• 19:57
  Speaker 1: start calling yourself Gidi instead of grandma. But you know,
• 20:00
  Speaker 1: it's like everything she said kind of resonated with me
• 20:03
  Speaker 1: a little bit because it literally is what Joan I mean.
• 20:07
  Speaker 1: And Gary, you're closer to this than anybody. But Joan
• 20:09
  Speaker 1: had basically said, you know, I didn't think I was
• 20:12
  Speaker 1: all of a sudden going to feel invisible, and I do.
• 20:14
  Speaker 1: And you know, I didn't hear Audrey say that necessarily,
• 20:17
  Speaker 1: but it is kind of one of those things where,
• 20:19
  Speaker 1: you know, so what is she supposed to do shut
• 20:21
  Speaker 1: off that part of her life now? And just be
• 20:22
  Speaker 1: a grandma, be a dedicated babysitter to people. You know,
• 20:26
  Speaker 1: it's like, you know, my mom's going through it right now.
• 20:28
  Speaker 1: My mom's seventy eight, she's older, but you know, there's
• 20:34
  Speaker 1: not as much of a drive to be my mom's
• 20:38
  Speaker 1: not ready to be a grandma sitting around knitting all
• 20:40
  Speaker 1: the time, you know, and just being at my back
• 20:42
  Speaker 1: and call for babysitting services. But she's also you know,
• 20:46
  Speaker 1: my father passed away a few years ago, and all
• 20:48
  Speaker 1: of a sudden, she's sort of in this place where
• 20:50
  Speaker 1: she's like, she's not out there looking for the next
• 20:52
  Speaker 1: level of her life necessarily, She's just out there looking
• 20:54
  Speaker 1: for someone to hang out with. And I think one
• 20:57
  Speaker 1: of the things that Audie said companionship You said it, Gary, Yeah,
• 21:00
  Speaker 1: Audrey basically said it. She's like, you know, she's been
• 21:03
  Speaker 1: engaged three times, but dodge a bullet three times. And
• 21:06
  Speaker 1: you know, it's sometimes I think you go down that
• 21:09
  Speaker 1: path because that's what you're supposed to do, not maybe
• 21:11
  Speaker 1: what you want to do. And I mean, what do
• 21:13
  Speaker 1: you guys think about that? What do you think? What
• 21:15
  Speaker 1: do you think Gary? What do you think? Jason?
• 21:16
  Speaker 2: Companionship at our age is extremely important because we don't
• 21:20
  Speaker 2: want to go to the movies alone. Something as simple
• 21:23
  Speaker 2: as going to the movies, something as simple as going
• 21:26
  Speaker 2: out to dinner or going to watch a film on
• 21:30
  Speaker 2: a Netflix film at home eating popcorn. You know, companionship
• 21:35
  Speaker 2: is so very important because I think it adds a
• 21:39
  Speaker 2: whole nother flavor to the relationship of I don't have
• 21:43
  Speaker 2: to be alone, even though you might be in that
• 21:45
  Speaker 2: in between stage of losing someone, but also still in
• 21:50
  Speaker 2: need of the companionship the relationship in that way, not
• 21:55
  Speaker 2: necessarily having to be married, even though it'd be nice
• 21:58
  Speaker 2: because then you could start planning trips, to go on
• 22:01
  Speaker 2: trips together and that fun stuff. So sure, the companionship
• 22:05
  Speaker 2: thing is really super important. Going to someone's birthday party
• 22:09
  Speaker 2: and having you know, folks over for a glass of
• 22:12
  Speaker 2: wine or whatever. It's it's critical and you don't want
• 22:17
  Speaker 2: to show up alone, you know, especially when everybody else
• 22:20
  Speaker 2: is coupled up. It's crazy.
• 22:22
  Speaker 3: Yeah, I'm curious about I think aback, like whether bachelor
• 22:25
  Speaker 3: or not. Like it's like when you're younger, whether you're
• 22:28
  Speaker 3: at the disco or you're at like i'd go to
• 22:30
  Speaker 3: the bars, you're looking for who you attracted to right, Yes,
• 22:33
  Speaker 3: I think about like people would ask me all the time,
• 22:36
  Speaker 3: like did you know who you're going to pick right
• 22:37
  Speaker 3: away on the bats or you're like, well, you know
• 22:38
  Speaker 3: who you're attracted to, and that's obvious you kind of
• 22:40
  Speaker 3: Even in my early thirties.
• 22:42
  Speaker 1: That's what I was thinking. But I think as you
• 22:44
  Speaker 1: get even me.
• 22:45
  Speaker 3: Like in my late forties, fifties or sixties, I think
• 22:50
  Speaker 3: get don't let me. I'm just curious, it changes where
• 22:54
  Speaker 3: more important. Like the attraction is important, but I feel
• 22:57
  Speaker 3: like what's even more important is like having common interests. Yeah, right,
• 23:01
  Speaker 3: so whether movies or some hobby or cooking or golf
• 23:07
  Speaker 3: or tennis or it is. I wonder if it's possible
• 23:11
  Speaker 3: to break down those barriers and just find groups of
• 23:13
  Speaker 3: people and take out. And I'm not saying I'm not
• 23:16
  Speaker 3: saying completely eliminate the attraction piece, because I know how
• 23:18
  Speaker 3: important it is, but way heavier in saying like I
• 23:22
  Speaker 3: think if we all went back and said how would
• 23:23
  Speaker 3: I date? Differently, it's like how important are those common interests?
• 23:28
  Speaker 3: Where so you're not just like sitting on the opposite
• 23:31
  Speaker 3: ends of the couch not talking, or sitting on your
• 23:33
  Speaker 3: phone they're engaging talking about something that's important, like how
• 23:36
  Speaker 3: do you like get putting yourself in a position where
• 23:39
  Speaker 3: you're really going to find somebody that has those interests.
• 23:42
  Speaker 3: So if it is dancing, like I do remember, like actually,
• 23:46
  Speaker 3: one of the last things I did before I wanted
• 23:49
  Speaker 3: to learn how to dance, and before I went on
• 23:50
  Speaker 3: the Bachelor, I took some sauce lessons, right, and I'm
• 23:53
  Speaker 3: a terrible fricking dancer, right, But I did put myself
• 23:57
  Speaker 3: in a position. I didn't meet any girls that I
• 23:59
  Speaker 3: would date, but I had an awesome deciment to look
• 24:01
  Speaker 3: forward to going to it every week.
• 24:02
  Speaker 1: Yeah. Well, I was going to say that too. You know,
• 24:05
  Speaker 1: one of the things I say to my mom all
• 24:07
  Speaker 1: the time, and I think it even though Audrey's much younger,
• 24:11
  Speaker 1: I would think that I would want to say this
• 24:14
  Speaker 1: to Audrey too if I had a chance to talk
• 24:15
  Speaker 1: with her about you know, some of this stuff in
• 24:17
  Speaker 1: a little more detail. And Gary, I love your input
• 24:21
  Speaker 1: here too. But you know, it's like, you got to
• 24:23
  Speaker 1: put yourself in the position to meet these people, and
• 24:27
  Speaker 1: you know the only way you're going to do that
• 24:29
  Speaker 1: is by getting out of the house and by you know,
• 24:31
  Speaker 1: and it can't just be at you know, at children's
• 24:35
  Speaker 1: sporting events and things of that nature. Like you've really
• 24:37
  Speaker 1: got to put yourself into the mix where it's like okay,
• 24:39
  Speaker 1: you know, and it does. And you don't have to
• 24:41
  Speaker 1: hang out with just single girlfriends, right, You can go
• 24:44
  Speaker 1: out with your girlfriends that are married or or or whatever,
• 24:48
  Speaker 1: and you can basically say, you know, hey, let's go
• 24:50
  Speaker 1: out tonight. Let's go to the restaurant, or let's go
• 24:53
  Speaker 1: to the bar, or let's go to this, let's go that.
• 24:55
  Speaker 1: And you know, it doesn't mean you're a drinker, but
• 24:57
  Speaker 1: you can still go to a restaurant and have dinner
• 24:59
  Speaker 1: with your friends and then hang on the lounge area
• 25:01
  Speaker 1: and relax or you know, I mean, man, in Oregon,
• 25:03
  Speaker 1: you know, there's so many great places where people go
• 25:06
  Speaker 1: in the summertime, Like summer in Oregon is so beautiful.
• 25:08
  Speaker 1: The Pacific Northwest is amazing. You know, go to Seattle
• 25:11
  Speaker 1: for the weekend. You could do a whole bunch of things.
• 25:13
  Speaker 1: I mean, Jason, Jason, you could probably give her a
• 25:15
  Speaker 1: list of things that do in Oregon that would just
• 25:17
  Speaker 1: blow her mind. And so, you know, to that end,
• 25:19
  Speaker 1: you know, ladies, grab your pens. Because we're going to
• 25:21
  Speaker 1: get into this, I think I'd love to see if
• 25:24
  Speaker 1: we could give a list of some places and not
• 25:27
  Speaker 1: just huge generalities, although that's okay as well, but you know,
• 25:30
  Speaker 1: really kind of dig into a little bit and think
• 25:32
  Speaker 1: of some places to go that you might meet people
• 25:36
  Speaker 1: that are around your age they don't have to be
• 25:39
  Speaker 1: the same age, but around your age range, and maybe
• 25:44
  Speaker 1: with some similar interests, you know, like for example, I
• 25:46
  Speaker 1: mean she was talking about she's in Jacksonville, Orion. She's
• 25:48
  Speaker 1: a southern Oregon right out you know, right near California, right,
• 25:52
  Speaker 1: so we know that there's there's great weather, beautiful coastlines.
• 25:58
  Speaker 1: I mean, you know, there's so much to do out
• 26:00
  Speaker 1: where you guys are at, and you know, what are
• 26:03
  Speaker 1: some things specifically that we that we could tell her,
• 26:06
  Speaker 1: you know, I I think of like there's some great
• 26:08
  Speaker 1: hotels in Portland that have really cool lounges and they're
• 26:12
  Speaker 1: not necessarily places that people go to get hammered and
• 26:15
  Speaker 1: you know, get carried out of there. The other places
• 26:17
  Speaker 1: that people go for the architecture and they sit around
• 26:19
  Speaker 1: in there taking in the vibes of the places, and
• 26:21
  Speaker 1: you know, anything like Jason specific Northwest specifically, you know,
• 26:25
  Speaker 1: what are a few things you've done.
• 26:26
  Speaker 3: This occurred to me yesterday, and this place overlaps so
• 26:29
  Speaker 3: many different things, right, so we we were at the
• 26:32
  Speaker 3: Fairmount Hotel last night and this what I mean, it
• 26:36
  Speaker 3: goes so many So when we filmed The Bachelor back
• 26:38
  Speaker 3: in the day, all the girls stayed at the Fairmont Hotel, right,
• 26:42
  Speaker 3: and yesterday Mollie was like, I.
• 26:44
  Speaker 1: Would totally come out like it's kind of this old
• 26:46
  Speaker 1: school vibe.
• 26:47
  Speaker 3: And even though she would go sit here and hang out,
• 26:50
  Speaker 3: every major town has a Fairmount which has got this
• 26:53
  Speaker 3: old classic feeling. Even if you're not drinking, you can
• 26:56
  Speaker 3: sit there and enjoy the atmosphere. But on top of that,
• 26:59
  Speaker 3: so that's like one place I think that you can
• 27:01
  Speaker 3: go on any any given city. But there's also a
• 27:04
  Speaker 3: really cool like if she ever came to Seattle, there's
• 27:06
  Speaker 3: a cool little restaurant right on the lake called Como.
• 27:08
  Speaker 3: Here in Kirkland, I don't know, yeah, yeah, so Koma,
• 27:12
  Speaker 3: Like in the summertime, it's like right on the water.
• 27:14
  Speaker 3: Boats are there, like you're sitting out on the deck.
• 27:17
  Speaker 3: And again, like when I've been there, it's always been
• 27:20
  Speaker 3: with a group of people, right, and people have ranged
• 27:23
  Speaker 3: in ages from.
• 27:23
  Speaker 1: Like thirty to sixty, right, and you just have a
• 27:28
  Speaker 1: good time.
• 27:28
  Speaker 3: And again, like I understand like there's a lot of
• 27:30
  Speaker 3: people that don't drink, but I think putting yourself in
• 27:32
  Speaker 3: an atmosphere and not being a free even if you
• 27:34
  Speaker 3: don't drink.
• 27:34
  Speaker 1: I have a lot of friends who don't drink. You
• 27:36
  Speaker 1: can really meet people in a cool place. Yeah. And
• 27:38
  Speaker 1: then also, you know, Kirkland in particular is such an
• 27:41
  Speaker 1: awesome area in the Greater Seattle area, and I love
• 27:44
  Speaker 1: that you I mean, you know, I was in Samamish
• 27:46
  Speaker 1: on the east Side, and I would always end up
• 27:47
  Speaker 1: in Kirkland to see everybody because it was such a
• 27:49
  Speaker 1: fun vibe. You can find those places anywhere you live
• 27:53
  Speaker 1: that have kind of a fun atmosphere and energy and
• 27:56
  Speaker 1: people are out and about and it's like, you know,
• 27:58
  Speaker 1: maybe it's ped malls or whatever it is, so everyone's
• 28:00
  Speaker 1: walking around and interacting and engaging. I mean, you know,
• 28:04
  Speaker 1: we have them here in Michigan, and you know, it's
• 28:06
  Speaker 1: my favorite place to go because it kind of brings
• 28:08
  Speaker 1: that energy of the people out and and you know,
• 28:10
  Speaker 1: you can be a social butterfly in those situations. You
• 28:12
  Speaker 1: can say hi to everybody you can, you know, and
• 28:15
  Speaker 1: like she like I think one of the things Audrey
• 28:16
  Speaker 1: said that kind of resonated with me was she's like,
• 28:18
  Speaker 1: I don't wear a wedding ring. I talk to everyone,
• 28:21
  Speaker 1: you know, and it's and she's open and fun, and
• 28:24
  Speaker 1: it'd be like, you know, just find find your tribe,
• 28:27
  Speaker 1: you know, find some people that you can go out
• 28:29
  Speaker 1: with and you feel really comfortable with. Have a great
• 28:31
  Speaker 1: time with those people. And because if you're out looking
• 28:35
  Speaker 1: nine times out of ten, it's not going to happen.
• 28:36
  Speaker 1: I firmly believe that have some of the people you're with,
• 28:40
  Speaker 1: and people will approach you, like, Jason, did you know
• 28:42
  Speaker 1: that that not that it was like you're a you're
• 28:44
  Speaker 1: in a parking structure, but you're like, I need to
• 28:46
  Speaker 1: meet that person, you know what. It's like, I know
• 28:48
  Speaker 1: how that.
• 28:53
  Speaker 6: Parking parking rogers for everybody, but listen, guys, Okay, so
• 29:06
  Speaker 6: here in California right and where she is at and
• 29:09
  Speaker 6: in particular, outdoor concerts a fun.
• 29:13
  Speaker 2: Place to go and entertainment is happening. The other big
• 29:18
  Speaker 2: thing now is also pickleball, where there's lots of people gathered.
• 29:22
  Speaker 2: It's not as much strenuous activity is going on. But
• 29:25
  Speaker 2: pickleball is another arena or set of places that people
• 29:29
  Speaker 2: go to for entertainment.
• 29:32
  Speaker 1: I love country. Pickleball is awesome. Yeah, you mentioned sporting
• 29:36
  Speaker 1: events to Gary, like Portland Timbers right there in Portland.
• 29:40
  Speaker 1: I'm not sure how far Jacksonville is from Portland. But
• 29:42
  Speaker 1: you know, I'm not saying she has to relocate necessarily.
• 29:45
  Speaker 1: But you know, there's always there's minor league baseball teams,
• 29:48
  Speaker 1: There's always stuff going on in different areas. Now, okay,
• 29:51
  Speaker 1: we've also got some let's talk about some some specific places. Okay,
• 29:55
  Speaker 1: so we've got some spots here, and I can tell
• 29:57
  Speaker 1: you that a few of these places and I will
• 29:59
  Speaker 1: I will let you know when that I have actually
• 30:01
  Speaker 1: met people at you know, prior of course to being married.
• 30:05
  Speaker 1: You know, one play and you guys can let me
• 30:07
  Speaker 1: know what you think if you've been to these or
• 30:08
  Speaker 1: if you know of these, you know, destination travel spots
• 30:12
  Speaker 1: that maybe she would go with a couple of girlfriends
• 30:14
  Speaker 1: and just sort of again having a great time with
• 30:16
  Speaker 1: her group. And it resonates right for example, the Pebble
• 30:19
  Speaker 1: Beach pro am. We were talking about golf right now,
• 30:22
  Speaker 1: you're on the golf course for four hours. But when
• 30:25
  Speaker 1: you're walking the golf course watching the pros, it's a
• 30:28
  Speaker 1: totally different vibe. Right, you got cocktails, you got places
• 30:30
  Speaker 1: you can stop and get two totally to right. What
• 30:34
  Speaker 1: do you guys think of that?
• 30:35
  Speaker 2: I think that's a great idea and what a wonderful thing.
• 30:39
  Speaker 2: You know, and people are more approachable and they're friendlier,
• 30:43
  Speaker 2: and they're in this outdoor environment where it brings on
• 30:48
  Speaker 2: conversation piece or or who are you following? Or you
• 30:51
  Speaker 2: can engage a lot easier. What a great thought and
• 30:54
  Speaker 2: great suggestion.
• 30:55
  Speaker 1: I agree.
• 30:56
  Speaker 3: And that's actually interesting because like you know, you're you're
• 30:58
  Speaker 3: in a place also where if you do like you
• 31:00
  Speaker 3: might be there because you do like golf. Right, if
• 31:03
  Speaker 3: you like golf, you're meeting somebody who also has some
• 31:05
  Speaker 3: common interest and you know that that's something you might
• 31:08
  Speaker 3: have to do with that price.
• 31:10
  Speaker 1: Right, Well, ladies, write this down. That's January twenty seventh
• 31:13
  Speaker 1: through February second. Right, who knows Gary might even be
• 31:17
  Speaker 1: there walking around. I'm going Gary, I'm going with Gary too.
• 31:20
  Speaker 1: I think guys even fun all right, So if it's
• 31:22
  Speaker 1: still you know it's this year you want to get
• 31:24
  Speaker 1: out before the holidays, right, one thing I always love
• 31:27
  Speaker 1: you go right down town. It was one of my
• 31:28
  Speaker 1: favorite things to do in the holidays. And when I
• 31:30
  Speaker 1: used to work for the Today Show all the time,
• 31:31
  Speaker 1: I used to love doing it. But they'd always bring
• 31:33
  Speaker 1: me out and I'd be right downtown, right in Times
• 31:35
  Speaker 1: Square or right down by Rockefeller Plaza, you know. And
• 31:39
  Speaker 1: it's right there at Christmas time where Christmas is vibing
• 31:41
  Speaker 1: in Manhattan. You know. That's amazing. That usually starts right
• 31:44
  Speaker 1: after Thanksgiving and goes all the way through the first
• 31:46
  Speaker 1: week of January. Art Basil in Miami, right, that's what's that.
• 31:51
  Speaker 1: That's December sixth through the eighth. I mean, that's something
• 31:54
  Speaker 1: that I mean, you talk about people everyone I know
• 31:57
  Speaker 1: who's gone to that and I have not. When I
• 32:00
  Speaker 1: know who's gone to it. My wife's gone to it.
• 32:01
  Speaker 1: She says, it's amazing. The vibe is amazing.
• 32:04
  Speaker 2: Yeah.
• 32:04
  Speaker 1: Yeah, well you're right in Miami, you know, as a curveball,
• 32:07
  Speaker 1: like you go to the Kentucky Derby every year, don't you.
• 32:10
  Speaker 1: I do? I do? And is that like?
• 32:12
  Speaker 3: I mean, I know it's it's packed and it's maybe
• 32:14
  Speaker 3: it's a bucket list for some people, but how like,
• 32:17
  Speaker 3: how fun would that be to meet somebody at an
• 32:19
  Speaker 3: event like that?
• 32:19
  Speaker 1: I will I will tell you I have and they
• 32:21
  Speaker 1: you know it's true, Like, yeah, the Derby first Saturday
• 32:24
  Speaker 1: in May every year. I've gone now for twenty years.
• 32:27
  Speaker 1: And uh, when my ex wife and I split up,
• 32:30
  Speaker 1: it was post bachelor, right and it was before I
• 32:33
  Speaker 1: had met Canye and my wife Jessica, and I was there.
• 32:37
  Speaker 1: I went two years by myself and I met someone
• 32:39
  Speaker 1: one year when I was down there who you know,
• 32:42
  Speaker 1: had just graduated from from you know, UK, and and
• 32:46
  Speaker 1: we hung out, had a great time, met all of
• 32:48
  Speaker 1: our friends and family. They met all my friends and family,
• 32:51
  Speaker 1: and we ended up I ended up working down in
• 32:53
  Speaker 1: Louisville a few times after that, and it was awesome,
• 32:55
  Speaker 1: you know, And it was a really again, super organic.
• 32:58
  Speaker 1: I was with my friends, not looking for anything. Somebody
• 33:01
  Speaker 1: thinks it's fun that we're having such a great time.
• 33:03
  Speaker 1: You guys are having a great time over there, like yeah,
• 33:05
  Speaker 1: come on and join us. You know that kind of
• 33:07
  Speaker 1: organic vibe And we all know exactly what I'm talking
• 33:09
  Speaker 1: about because we've all had that happen.
• 33:11
  Speaker 2: Right, totally totally, Yeah, you guys are doing that, and
• 33:14
  Speaker 2: I'm usually following the college scene, the college football scene.
• 33:19
  Speaker 1: Right, So you got.
• 33:20
  Speaker 2: Another place where you're tailgating and you're inviting folks. In
• 33:23
  Speaker 2: the beauty of this that you're suggesting is that it
• 33:27
  Speaker 2: can become an annual thing. Oh, this is where we met,
• 33:30
  Speaker 2: and you continue going to that location. And how special
• 33:35
  Speaker 2: would that be to say, yeah, this is where we met.
• 33:37
  Speaker 2: We go every year, and what a great place to
• 33:40
  Speaker 2: go and meet some folks. But yeah, great, great, great suggestions.
• 33:43
  Speaker 1: I love that tailgating thing.
• 33:44
  Speaker 3: I remember we were at this is even though like
• 33:46
  Speaker 3: I was looking to meet people, but we were in
• 33:48
  Speaker 3: Green Bay for a Seahawks game.
• 33:50
  Speaker 1: Yeah, and the amount of people.
• 33:51
  Speaker 3: That were just like everybody at every tailgate was just
• 33:54
  Speaker 3: like come on in, have a broad or beer or
• 33:58
  Speaker 3: like if you find it like an maybe it's the Midwest, right,
• 34:01
  Speaker 3: Like going to in the Midwest where people are that welcoming, you.
• 34:04
  Speaker 1: Don't meet a stranger, you know, So listen to this, guys.
• 34:07
  Speaker 1: So last year Detroit Lions made it to the NFC
• 34:09
  Speaker 1: Championship game. Lines them in my team forever, you know,
• 34:12
  Speaker 1: and we had some lean years here and I go
• 34:15
  Speaker 1: to San Francisco for the game with one of my
• 34:17
  Speaker 1: buddies who's a big forty nine Ers fan, and I
• 34:19
  Speaker 1: had always heard that, you know, San Francisco fans are tough,
• 34:22
  Speaker 1: you know, like they don't they're like outsiders the whole bet.
• 34:25
  Speaker 1: And I'm all decked in my Lions gear, you know,
• 34:27
  Speaker 1: and he's in his forty nine Ers gear, and we
• 34:30
  Speaker 1: were having such a great time. Everywhere we went, the
• 34:32
  Speaker 1: forty nine Ers fans like, hey, come on, man, and
• 34:34
  Speaker 1: they were amazing because of the good time my buddy
• 34:37
  Speaker 1: and I were having and they were in literally that energy.
• 34:40
  Speaker 1: So it doesn't even have to be you know, it
• 34:42
  Speaker 1: could be like just people wanting to meet more fun
• 34:44
  Speaker 1: people or whatever it might be. But it was like,
• 34:46
  Speaker 1: you know, hey, man, if it wasn't us gonna you know,
• 34:48
  Speaker 1: it wasn't the forty nine Ers, we'd want to be
• 34:50
  Speaker 1: the Lions, you know. And it was like this kind
• 34:51
  Speaker 1: of really cool copesthetic vibe. And I know, you know,
• 34:54
  Speaker 1: Jason's from Seattle, and Seattle and San Francisco datorious. They
• 34:56
  Speaker 1: don't get along, but you know, for the record, that's
• 34:59
  Speaker 1: the football team only because I mean Jason is wild
• 35:01
  Speaker 1: with everybody. Well, trust me, Like this this year.
• 35:04
  Speaker 3: You know, Mollie's from Michigan too, Like, yes, I've never
• 35:06
  Speaker 3: seen her love football more than this year.
• 35:09
  Speaker 1: I love it. We'll tell her we're all going to
• 35:10
  Speaker 1: the super Bowl together, buddy together. But yeah, those are
• 35:15
  Speaker 1: some great spots.
• 35:16
  Speaker 2: Yeah, don't underestimate the college scene as well. And I'm
• 35:19
  Speaker 2: more of a college sports fan. I love the Pros,
• 35:22
  Speaker 2: don't get me wrong. We have so many activities associated
• 35:25
  Speaker 2: with the Pros. But at the collegiate level there's also
• 35:28
  Speaker 2: a very long and illustrious history of alumni as well
• 35:33
  Speaker 2: as a current student base and forensic come in. It
• 35:37
  Speaker 2: is a fabulous experience to to do the college thing
• 35:41
  Speaker 2: as well. I'm not sure if she has a university
• 35:44
  Speaker 2: in her area up there, but what another great venue
• 35:47
  Speaker 2: for her to go and say, hey, yeah, you know
• 35:52
  Speaker 2: this is where. This is a great place to meet folks.
• 35:54
  Speaker 3: Tell me, I love the alumni thing because you have
• 35:56
  Speaker 3: something that you're you're bonded right away, totally totally great idea.
• 36:00
  Speaker 1: Yeah, yeah, I love it. Yeah, I love I love
• 36:02
  Speaker 1: the idea too, you know. And one of the great
• 36:04
  Speaker 1: things about Civic Northwest, and you said it best, Gary,
• 36:07
  Speaker 1: is the outdoor The outdoor concert scene, and a lot
• 36:10
  Speaker 1: of it is like really cool with the wineries, right,
• 36:13
  Speaker 1: like Jason, remember like what is that one that's oh
• 36:16
  Speaker 1: my god? They give the best concerts out out near
• 36:19
  Speaker 1: SA Michelle, Cheryl Crow, all these different people, and it's
• 36:22
  Speaker 1: more of a vibe like you're like, yes there is
• 36:25
  Speaker 1: a concert, and yes people are watching it, but there's
• 36:28
  Speaker 1: also more of the vibe around the concert where everyone's
• 36:31
  Speaker 1: wine tasting is going on, and it's just a really
• 36:34
  Speaker 1: chill almost like a coffee shop concert setting in a
• 36:37
  Speaker 1: major concert venue, you know. Yeah, and those are really fun.
• 36:40
  Speaker 1: It's it's age appropriate. It's like, you know, I think
• 36:43
  Speaker 1: that's one of the things. And I've said this many
• 36:45
  Speaker 1: at times, and Jason, I'm sure you probably agree with this,
• 36:47
  Speaker 1: but one of the things I really love about how
• 36:50
  Speaker 1: The Golden Bachelor has been casted was because it could
• 36:54
  Speaker 1: have been, for lack of better words, a s h
• 36:57
  Speaker 1: I T show, right, Like it literally they could have
• 37:00
  Speaker 1: done this as a publicity stunt and had like we're
• 37:03
  Speaker 1: going to throw in you know, three you know, Chippendale
• 37:06
  Speaker 1: guys and you know whatever.
• 37:07
  Speaker 2: They really were blessed with getting the group of guys
• 37:11
  Speaker 2: that that that were cast for the show, and it
• 37:14
  Speaker 2: made such a difference because of the illustrious history that
• 37:17
  Speaker 2: we all have, but the way we all bonded as
• 37:19
  Speaker 2: a fraternity.
• 37:20
  Speaker 1: So yeah, it was that. It was a true victory.
• 37:23
  Speaker 1: Yeah yeah, And it was all It wasn't any stunt casting.
• 37:27
  Speaker 1: It was just good dudes, you know. And it's like
• 37:29
  Speaker 1: I think about that from when I was on Trista
• 37:31
  Speaker 1: Seson at the Bacheorette and then you know, after that,
• 37:33
  Speaker 1: I went on to be the Bachelor guy, but it
• 37:35
  Speaker 1: was like that group of guys, we were genuinely friends.
• 37:38
  Speaker 1: Like I remember thinking to myself, like, man, I you know,
• 37:41
  Speaker 1: I when I when I knew it wasn't going to
• 37:43
  Speaker 1: be me and everything else, I was like, you know,
• 37:45
  Speaker 1: I really feel like and I mean true he was.
• 37:48
  Speaker 1: He was like my bunk mate. And in the manswa,
• 37:50
  Speaker 1: I was like, I really want Ryan to be the guy,
• 37:52
  Speaker 1: you know, like yeah he's in love, like he really
• 37:54
  Speaker 1: for me. It's like, yeah, you're room for each other,
• 37:56
  Speaker 1: you're not. And I remember saying that the first night
• 37:58
  Speaker 1: because I was the older guy. Even then, I remember saying,
• 38:01
  Speaker 1: I'm like, guys, it doesn't matter if we like each
• 38:03
  Speaker 1: other or not as to who she's gonna like, so
• 38:05
  Speaker 1: we might as well make it easy on ourselves and
• 38:06
  Speaker 1: just get along and like, yeah.
• 38:08
  Speaker 3: It's funny, like when The Golden Bachelor, it really seems
• 38:10
  Speaker 3: like they went back to the roots, because like even
• 38:12
  Speaker 3: when I was on it, you know, a few years
• 38:13
  Speaker 3: after you, it was still sort.
• 38:15
  Speaker 1: Of like that. But I think then it.
• 38:17
  Speaker 3: Was like The Bachelor and Bachelor, I went to it
• 38:19
  Speaker 3: like like somehow it followed their Kardashian world.
• 38:21
  Speaker 1: Or the whatever the drama.
• 38:23
  Speaker 3: But I think the Golden Bachelor and Bachelrette really went
• 38:26
  Speaker 3: back to some of the roots, and that's why people
• 38:27
  Speaker 3: love it so much.
• 38:28
  Speaker 1: It was like a reset button for the whole franchise
• 38:30
  Speaker 1: and hopefully it carries over. You know, a few more
• 38:33
  Speaker 1: places to talk about US Open Tennis tournament. These are
• 38:36
  Speaker 1: places you can go to in different areas geographically, or
• 38:39
  Speaker 1: you can make like you guys said, like Dayton Daytona
• 38:42
  Speaker 1: five hundred every year, Indy five hundred. You know, there's
• 38:45
  Speaker 1: places that had these pe.
• 38:47
  Speaker 2: Tennis tournament down here in Indian Wells.
• 38:50
  Speaker 1: That's as I like it. But you know, it's funny.
• 38:52
  Speaker 1: You don't even have to go to the actual event,
• 38:54
  Speaker 1: right Sometimes it's the parties around the event that are
• 38:56
  Speaker 1: just like I was the Masters, went to the Masters
• 38:58
  Speaker 1: a few years ago. I never even made it on
• 39:00
  Speaker 1: the course. I walked around all the places around it
• 39:02
  Speaker 1: and had the time of my life. You know, some
• 39:04
  Speaker 1: of the greatest people. So yeah, I love it, man,
• 39:07
  Speaker 1: I love it. Great ideas and I think great advice.
• 39:11
  Speaker 1: You know, I travel a ton. I've probably met people
• 39:14
  Speaker 1: in adulta louge more than I even care to mention. Yeah,
• 39:20
  Speaker 1: even today, I mean I'll I'll literally walk out of there.
• 39:22
  Speaker 1: My wife will go, do you ever meet a stranger?
• 39:24
  Speaker 1: I'm like, oh, you know, no, I guess I don't.
• 39:27
  Speaker 1: You know. I love people and I love you know,
• 39:29
  Speaker 1: getting a chance to talk to them. And you know,
• 39:31
  Speaker 1: like you said, everybody's got sports, sports teams around them.
• 39:34
  Speaker 1: Even if it's a little bit of a drive, a
• 39:35
  Speaker 1: destination for the night. You know, she's obviously comfortable. She
• 39:38
  Speaker 1: doesn't need she doesn't need a man, She just wants
• 39:41
  Speaker 1: to meet someone.
• 39:43
  Speaker 2: The companionship.
• 39:44
  Speaker 1: The companionship, right, just like I talked about. Yeah, I agree,
• 39:48
  Speaker 1: such beautiful. I think those are all just great ideas.
• 39:50
  Speaker 2: Man.
• 39:51
  Speaker 1: I love it. When I used to live in LA
• 39:53
  Speaker 1: and this was something that was you know, it's very
• 39:55
  Speaker 1: common in La and Gary you could attest. But man,
• 39:58
  Speaker 1: I was at the dog park every day. I was
• 40:00
  Speaker 1: at Runyon Canyon every day. Spot Oh my gosh, and
• 40:04
  Speaker 1: I would meet people literally every day and it would
• 40:06
  Speaker 1: be like, you know, just because you're passing them twice
• 40:08
  Speaker 1: on this trail, hey, how you doing? You know, and
• 40:11
  Speaker 1: then by the second time I see you your every day?
• 40:13
  Speaker 1: What's your story? What do you do? Where do you work? Always? Yeah,
• 40:17
  Speaker 1: I love it. But it's that's kind of a vibe.
• 40:19
  Speaker 1: I think as long as you're not you know, as
• 40:21
  Speaker 1: long as you're not feeling the pressure of looking for something,
• 40:26
  Speaker 1: you're going to find someone you connect with in some way.
• 40:29
  Speaker 3: Shape or form a romantic and pushing yourself to do
• 40:33
  Speaker 3: like an interest that you have. Right, so we all
• 40:37
  Speaker 3: like something whatever, like like putting yourself in a position
• 40:41
  Speaker 3: where you're doing that consistently enough where you're going to
• 40:43
  Speaker 3: meet people.
• 40:44
  Speaker 1: Absolutely greed, agreed. Well, we talked about all the hotspots
• 40:48
  Speaker 1: where you can meet somebody. Let's let's throw out a
• 40:50
  Speaker 1: couple that are probably good to avoid. So you know,
• 40:55
  Speaker 1: I mean, I don't know, I guess some of the
• 40:58
  Speaker 1: first things that pop up on my mind, and you know,
• 41:00
  Speaker 1: I'm thinking more more along lines from what Audrey had said.
• 41:03
  Speaker 1: You know, she's like, I'm not the type of person
• 41:04
  Speaker 1: that goes out to a bar, you know, but I think,
• 41:07
  Speaker 1: you know, my I think what's interesting about that is
• 41:10
  Speaker 1: there's not always it doesn't have to be a negative
• 41:12
  Speaker 1: connotation about a place that serves alcoholic beverages. Right, Yeah,
• 41:15
  Speaker 1: you can go you can go to a restaurant that
• 41:17
  Speaker 1: has a bar. You can go to a hotel that
• 41:19
  Speaker 1: has a bar and you can sit in the lounge
• 41:21
  Speaker 1: area and drink a sprite all night.
• 41:22
  Speaker 2: You know.
• 41:23
  Speaker 1: It's like, you know, we talked about that, right, there's
• 41:25
  Speaker 1: great outdoor venues that you can go hang out at
• 41:28
  Speaker 1: where other people might be drinking. Doesn't mean you have
• 41:30
  Speaker 1: to where else where? What else would be a bad
• 41:33
  Speaker 1: place to meet somebody? You know.
• 41:34
  Speaker 2: It's it's a good point you bring up because I
• 41:36
  Speaker 2: also think at our age we are done with that.
• 41:40
  Speaker 2: I think it's age appropriate. Let me put it like that,
• 41:43
  Speaker 2: where you know you're going out to a bar and unfortunately,
• 41:48
  Speaker 2: you know it's like a pickup place for these young kids,
• 41:51
  Speaker 2: and you're like, I'm way too I shouldn't be here.
• 41:54
  Speaker 2: This is not what I expect. It's not what I want,
• 41:56
  Speaker 2: it's not what I'm looking for. So the age appropriate
• 41:59
  Speaker 2: bar as, I think make a big difference as well.
• 42:03
  Speaker 2: Someplace you want to avoid going to a younger hipster
• 42:07
  Speaker 2: kind of place versus someplace else where you can engage
• 42:10
  Speaker 2: in conversation. Yeah.
• 42:12
  Speaker 3: And I would wonder too, like for a place for
• 42:15
  Speaker 3: if women are looking like a place where they just
• 42:17
  Speaker 3: feel unsafe.
• 42:19
  Speaker 1: Yeah. Rights, that's something.
• 42:20
  Speaker 3: That I don't know if a lot of guys can
• 42:23
  Speaker 3: really identify with, but like unsafe might be like you
• 42:26
  Speaker 3: might go to somewhere for coffee during the day, but
• 42:29
  Speaker 3: if you went to that same same area at night,
• 42:31
  Speaker 3: you might feel a little bit unsafe. But then I
• 42:34
  Speaker 3: would argue my on the flip side, like what if
• 42:36
  Speaker 3: you went there with a friend?
• 42:38
  Speaker 1: Yeah, find a place that.
• 42:39
  Speaker 3: You're comfortable with even if you feel uncomfortable, but you
• 42:42
  Speaker 3: really want to go there, open it up and bring
• 42:44
  Speaker 3: somebody with you so you do feel safe.
• 42:46
  Speaker 2: Yes, yeah, I think.
• 42:48
  Speaker 1: Yeah. I think one of the things you're saying too
• 42:50
  Speaker 1: is like I got I hope this isn't an inappropriate term,
• 42:52
  Speaker 1: but I remember people saying, oh, yeah, it's like a
• 42:54
  Speaker 1: meat market down there or whatever. You know, you don't
• 42:56
  Speaker 1: want to go to a place where you feel like
• 42:57
  Speaker 1: you're on display, right and you're like walking through and
• 43:00
  Speaker 1: everybody's sizing you up or something like that wouldn't be fun.
• 43:02
  Speaker 1: I mean, another place probably not a great place to
• 43:05
  Speaker 1: meet people the gym, right, Oh that's exactly what I
• 43:07
  Speaker 1: was thinking. Yeah, yeah, like you go to the gym,
• 43:09
  Speaker 1: you're if I go to the gym, which we can
• 43:11
  Speaker 1: tell doesn't happen often, but if I go to the gym,
• 43:14
  Speaker 1: I'm literally there for a purpose, right, I'm there to
• 43:16
  Speaker 1: get to break a sweat, get in, get out, probably,
• 43:19
  Speaker 1: you know, don't don't you know, I'm not at my finest.
• 43:22
  Speaker 1: You know, I probably didn't spend a couple hours getting
• 43:24
  Speaker 1: ready to go into the gym. I would imagine most
• 43:27
  Speaker 1: women aren't going to the gym to meet guys and so.
• 43:30
  Speaker 2: And it's an interesting point, you mean, because the few
• 43:33
  Speaker 2: times that I've been to my gym now people are
• 43:35
  Speaker 2: approaching me and it's like, oh my god, you're scary
• 43:37
  Speaker 2: and that kind of thing. But I'm trying to get
• 43:40
  Speaker 2: in my workout and it's a disruption. So yeah, that's
• 43:43
  Speaker 2: not obviously a good place you want to meet someone.
• 43:46
  Speaker 1: Yeah, yeah, yeah, no way, thank you. Right, all right,
• 43:58
  Speaker 1: now I'm gonna throw out a couple place. You guys
• 44:00
  Speaker 1: give me your immediate gut reaction, okay, whether or not
• 44:04
  Speaker 1: it might be a good place for Audrey or for
• 44:07
  Speaker 1: anyone to meet someone. First one, we're gonna start with,
• 44:10
  Speaker 1: let's say farmers market. Heck, yes, Seattle, That's what I
• 44:15
  Speaker 1: was thinking of set right away.
• 44:16
  Speaker 2: Yeah.
• 44:16
  Speaker 1: I was also thinking of La downtown Sherman Oaks. They
• 44:19
  Speaker 1: have this awesome farmers market that people would go and
• 44:22
  Speaker 1: they'd walk their dogs and they'd walk around. Yeah, I agree,
• 44:25
  Speaker 1: a great one. How about an auto show or a
• 44:31
  Speaker 1: boat show.
• 44:32
  Speaker 3: Let's say, well, I mean that's where I think, like
• 44:36
  Speaker 3: if you have thatt like, if you if you are
• 44:39
  Speaker 3: passionate about cars or boats or whatever.
• 44:40
  Speaker 1: It might be a super interesting place to go because
• 44:43
  Speaker 1: I don't think most people are going.
• 44:44
  Speaker 3: There just to meet people. They're going there because it's
• 44:46
  Speaker 3: it's their common interest, right.
• 44:47
  Speaker 1: Like I love boats, I want to go look at boats,
• 44:49
  Speaker 1: or I love cars. I feel like for whatever reason,
• 44:52
  Speaker 1: I feel like that's that sometimes lends itself to have
• 44:55
  Speaker 1: more of a couple's activity or a guy's activity. H
• 44:58
  Speaker 1: I don't know what that's problem. That might be sex
• 45:00
  Speaker 1: for me to say that, but like I always think
• 45:01
  Speaker 1: of like the auto shows when I used to have
• 45:03
  Speaker 1: to work them, like back before the batchel of stuff
• 45:05
  Speaker 1: and everything, and I remember it'd be like just a
• 45:07
  Speaker 1: ton of dudes rolling through there, you know. Yeah, and uh,
• 45:09
  Speaker 1: if there was a woman, she was typically with someone you.
• 45:12
  Speaker 2: Know, representing one of the autos that were yeah.
• 45:17
  Speaker 1: Yeah, exactly, or they have like a Chrysler pin on
• 45:19
  Speaker 1: their shirts. What about like, let's think about like, you know,
• 45:22
  Speaker 1: because a lot of times people say that being in
• 45:24
  Speaker 1: an adrenaline activity like river rafting or ziplining or you know,
• 45:30
  Speaker 1: running or biking, that that gets your endorphins going. And
• 45:34
  Speaker 1: you know, what do you guys think of that kind
• 45:35
  Speaker 1: of stuff like an adrenaline related activity? Does that ever?
• 45:38
  Speaker 2: That'd be pretty cool? Like I used to do triathlons, right,
• 45:40
  Speaker 2: sprint trap ons, not government or anything like that. It's
• 45:43
  Speaker 2: a great place to go and meet people that enjoy
• 45:46
  Speaker 2: those outdoorsy kinds of things. So yeah, I think that'd
• 45:49
  Speaker 2: be a great suggestion, well.
• 45:50
  Speaker 3: Especially like for for her in organ like even going
• 45:53
  Speaker 3: out right like you're gonna get your heart beat up
• 45:55
  Speaker 3: a little bit and you're gonna see.
• 45:56
  Speaker 1: The same people on the same trail. Yeah, yeah, yeah,
• 46:00
  Speaker 1: I think. I think the hiking. I think anything where
• 46:03
  Speaker 1: you're out outdoors, like you said, Jason, feeling safe, you know,
• 46:08
  Speaker 1: and maybe doing it with people that are I don't
• 46:11
  Speaker 1: know not you know again, I mean, I can only
• 46:14
  Speaker 1: speak from my own experience, but it's like I feel
• 46:16
  Speaker 1: like going in those situations when you're not looking for it,
• 46:21
  Speaker 1: like when you've basically said, you know what, I'm just
• 46:23
  Speaker 1: gonna go have funt my friends. I'm not going to
• 46:25
  Speaker 1: try and you.
• 46:26
  Speaker 2: Know all that.
• 46:27
  Speaker 1: Dude. Yeah, common interests. I'm with people I love, I
• 46:30
  Speaker 1: feel comfortable and safe and we're enjoying you know. Uh,
• 46:34
  Speaker 1: what's the crab Jason is so famous in Seattle the
• 46:39
  Speaker 1: oh my god, a dungeness crab crab you eat. I'm like, yeah, due, Jason. Yeah,
• 46:47
  Speaker 1: I'm like I mean that, you know, I'm gonna go
• 46:49
  Speaker 1: because I love the crab. I love the crab cakes here,
• 46:51
  Speaker 1: or I love you know, like you mentioned the Pharamount,
• 46:53
  Speaker 1: Like I love that little bar lounge area on the
• 46:56
  Speaker 1: back of that first level when you go upstairs up
• 46:58
  Speaker 1: the street level. That's exactly so cool. Yeah, I love
• 47:02
  Speaker 1: that place. And then now they did the library kind
• 47:04
  Speaker 1: of speakeasy thing on the other side. I mean, you
• 47:07
  Speaker 1: talk about great. That's when you said that. I was like,
• 47:08
  Speaker 1: oh my god, I forgot how much I love that place,
• 47:10
  Speaker 1: you know, and I wouldn't have remembered again.
• 47:12
  Speaker 3: And so I was there just yesterday when Molly walked
• 47:14
  Speaker 3: in right away, she was like, oh my god, I
• 47:16
  Speaker 3: love this place. I forgot how much I love coming here.
• 47:19
  Speaker 3: And it's great for all ages.
• 47:21
  Speaker 1: It really is that whole area I love. I love
• 47:23
  Speaker 1: downtown Seattle still to this day, one of my favorite
• 47:26
  Speaker 1: downtown areas ever that I visited, and especially when I
• 47:29
  Speaker 1: got to live there for four years. It was like
• 47:31
  Speaker 1: a dream, you know. It's just like every day I'd
• 47:33
  Speaker 1: go down there and just be like, ah, smell the
• 47:35
  Speaker 1: fresh air and the whole thing. You know. So let's
• 47:38
  Speaker 1: let's let's transition a little bit here. I think we've
• 47:40
  Speaker 1: got some great stuff. We've covered some great information. Hopefully
• 47:43
  Speaker 1: Audrey will feel like, you know, we've we've given her
• 47:45
  Speaker 1: some good ideas and inspired her a little bit. But
• 47:48
  Speaker 1: let's transition a little bit back into of course, this
• 47:50
  Speaker 1: season of the Golden Bachelorette because we do have of
• 47:54
  Speaker 1: course Gary with us, who is just living legend status
• 47:58
  Speaker 1: coming off of that show. Buddy, you know, you were
• 48:00
  Speaker 1: so fun to watch, Like you mentioned too, the whole
• 48:02
  Speaker 1: cast has been so fun to watch, and I loved
• 48:04
  Speaker 1: I really loved the casting on Gary season last year,
• 48:07
  Speaker 1: and then of course now on Jones season this year.
• 48:11
  Speaker 1: You know, with all that, like it's coming down to
• 48:13
  Speaker 1: the wire, right, I think you're probably pretty close with
• 48:16
  Speaker 1: all the guys that are still left standing. Yes, any
• 48:20
  Speaker 1: and this is not a spoiler alert, right, well, we'll
• 48:22
  Speaker 1: put it out there. No spoiler alerts here, but just
• 48:25
  Speaker 1: your personal gut feeling. You know, how are you seeing
• 48:27
  Speaker 1: this season play out?
• 48:29
  Speaker 2: Well, it's interesting because I know that there is a
• 48:32
  Speaker 2: true emotional connection, or at least there was with Chalk
• 48:36
  Speaker 2: and Joan when his mom passed away, which was very
• 48:40
  Speaker 2: touching for all of us. There was an emotional connection
• 48:43
  Speaker 2: that they both had for some odd reason or another.
• 48:46
  Speaker 2: But then as I'm reading more into a guy is
• 48:50
  Speaker 2: the other person? I think that would probably be a
• 48:54
  Speaker 2: good fit for who was a fun, loving, outgoing person
• 48:59
  Speaker 2: that would match up well as well. So you know,
• 49:02
  Speaker 2: between Chalk and guy is who I'm done putting my
• 49:05
  Speaker 2: my bets on.
• 49:06
  Speaker 1: And is that only because you didn't like Pascal's choice
• 49:09
  Speaker 1: of evening attire?
• 49:14
  Speaker 2: You know, I think Pascal is a great guy, and
• 49:17
  Speaker 2: we are good friends with each other. I just think
• 49:21
  Speaker 2: that he's got a very busy life, you know, with
• 49:24
  Speaker 2: his hair studio and the and the hair salon and
• 49:27
  Speaker 2: all the things associated with that. Guy and Chalk on
• 49:30
  Speaker 2: the other side of that are are guy Our people
• 49:35
  Speaker 2: that are men that are looking for love. They're looking
• 49:40
  Speaker 2: for love, not that Pascal isn't. He just leads a
• 49:43
  Speaker 2: much busier lifestyle than the other two guys.
• 49:47
  Speaker 1: It sounds like somebody would really, she'd really have to
• 49:49
  Speaker 1: fit into his life.
• 49:50
  Speaker 2: Yeah, right, right, as opposed to them both merging together.
• 49:57
  Speaker 2: And that's again why I think Guy because he's a
• 50:00
  Speaker 2: he's an er surgeon. He would move to Maryland in
• 50:03
  Speaker 2: a heartbeat if that were to work its way out.
• 50:07
  Speaker 2: And yeah, so those are the two guys I think
• 50:10
  Speaker 2: that she'd done.
• 50:12
  Speaker 1: Yeah, well, I think too.
• 50:14
  Speaker 2: You know.
• 50:14
  Speaker 1: One of the things I think we've learned from the
• 50:16
  Speaker 1: first season of well from the Golden Bachelor, is that
• 50:21
  Speaker 1: everyone at this stage in the game is invested in
• 50:25
  Speaker 1: the areas that they live in, right. I mean, whether
• 50:27
  Speaker 1: it's because your grandchildren are there, you know, whatever it
• 50:30
  Speaker 1: might be. And you know how many people are going
• 50:34
  Speaker 1: to literally uproot and say, Okay, I'm move in here.
• 50:38
  Speaker 1: You know, it's like it's like you're not going to
• 50:39
  Speaker 1: want to vacate those areas where your family is and
• 50:41
  Speaker 1: where you're where your family, you know, your children, your
• 50:44
  Speaker 1: grandchildren and your children are. So you're gonna need someone
• 50:47
  Speaker 1: who's either a completely unattached or be willing to kind
• 50:51
  Speaker 1: of be not necessarily by coastal but by city living, right,
• 50:55
  Speaker 1: Like they're gonna have to be willing to go, hey,
• 50:57
  Speaker 1: we're gonna we're gonna go two weeks here and two
• 50:59
  Speaker 1: weeks or maybe every other weekend we're here, season there,
• 51:02
  Speaker 1: in a season here there you go. Yeah, you're gonna
• 51:05
  Speaker 1: have to be open to that. And and maybe that's
• 51:07
  Speaker 1: part of it too with Pascal, like you said, and
• 51:09
  Speaker 1: like Jason mentioned, plugging into his lifestyle. Obviously, you're right,
• 51:12
  Speaker 1: he's not necessarily uprooting and going anywhere. No matter how
• 51:16
  Speaker 1: much you might care about someone, it's gonna be a
• 51:17
  Speaker 1: lot in distance relationship. Yeah, you've got you've got a
• 51:19
  Speaker 1: whole season there man in Palm Spring. Yeah, the same
• 51:24
  Speaker 1: season all the time, which is perfect every day. Yeah, exactly.
• 51:27
  Speaker 2: I'm listening at the sunshine today. It's in the mid
• 51:30
  Speaker 2: seventies and it's uh, it's that time of year when
• 51:32
  Speaker 2: all of the folks come back in in town. You know,
• 51:36
  Speaker 2: they leave for the summer and they come back for
• 51:38
  Speaker 2: the winter and spring months.
• 51:39
  Speaker 1: So yeah, that's why traffic's better here in Seattle. Right now,
• 51:41
  Speaker 1: they've all left to come down there. They've left there
• 51:43
  Speaker 1: all yuh guys, guys, it's seventy five and mildly sunny
• 51:48
  Speaker 1: here in Michigan. So we're kind of got the best
• 51:49
  Speaker 1: of both worlds. We got the mildly sunny of Seattle
• 51:52
  Speaker 1: and the seventy five of the Palm Desert.
• 51:54
  Speaker 2: Yeah beautiful.
• 51:55
  Speaker 1: So, Jason, I got a question for you. So, and
• 51:58
  Speaker 1: you are the one who can answer this better than
• 52:01
  Speaker 1: better than I know myself. Joan and whoever she chooses
• 52:07
  Speaker 1: right the hardest part. And we've seen this all the
• 52:11
  Speaker 1: way back to the original First Bachelor, all the way
• 52:14
  Speaker 1: through to whatever season one hundred and sixty five that
• 52:17
  Speaker 1: we're on now, how how do you adapt and adjust
• 52:23
  Speaker 1: your lifestyles together post show for success, right, because I
• 52:28
  Speaker 1: think we've all seen people come off the show now,
• 52:31
  Speaker 1: we've even seen a few people come off the show
• 52:33
  Speaker 1: and get married and divorced, you know. And I mean
• 52:38
  Speaker 1: I can say honestly, it's not easy coming off the
• 52:40
  Speaker 1: show and keeping even a dating relationship together. But Jason,
• 52:45
  Speaker 1: you've done it, and you've done it in grand fashion.
• 52:48
  Speaker 1: I mean, you're happier now. Every time I see you,
• 52:51
  Speaker 1: I'm like, God, I love those two together. It's just
• 52:52
  Speaker 1: like you guys, you know, in Tristan and Ryan, same thing,
• 52:55
  Speaker 1: you know, Aaron, Aaron and Catherine. You know, I've seen
• 52:58
  Speaker 1: it and it's right now there you go. Joey and
• 53:01
  Speaker 1: Kelsey look amazingly happy right now, and they're committing that
• 53:04
  Speaker 1: time together. And that's got to be so hard to
• 53:06
  Speaker 1: because he's on Dancing with the Stars as well, and
• 53:07
  Speaker 1: he's you know, he's on a dance point. I mean,
• 53:09
  Speaker 1: there's a lot going on there. But Jayson, what would
• 53:11
  Speaker 1: be your experience if you had a piece of advice
• 53:13
  Speaker 1: to give to Joan and one of these guys, what
• 53:18
  Speaker 1: would it be. Well, I think there's a couple of
• 53:20
  Speaker 1: things to stick out.
• 53:21
  Speaker 3: The first one and I said, this to anybody who's
• 53:23
  Speaker 3: asked me for advice is I think only you and
• 53:26
  Speaker 3: whoever you choose or your partner is know what the
• 53:29
  Speaker 3: truth is.
• 53:30
  Speaker 1: Like are you in it for the TV fame and
• 53:32
  Speaker 1: all that, or are you really into the relationship?
• 53:34
  Speaker 3: And you've got to be honest with you because there's
• 53:36
  Speaker 3: a lot of people, especially the younger not not talking
• 53:37
  Speaker 3: about the golden bachler or bachelorette. I think a lot
• 53:39
  Speaker 3: of people are looking to make make up a really
• 53:42
  Speaker 3: good living from what they've done, right, And you've got
• 53:45
  Speaker 3: to the TV stuff, And I think you've got to
• 53:46
  Speaker 3: be honest with yourself. And if if you really do,
• 53:49
  Speaker 3: I think it is helpful to go back to wherever
• 53:52
  Speaker 3: you're from, right. Chris Harrison used to say that all
• 53:54
  Speaker 3: the time, like, don't move to New York, don't move
• 53:56
  Speaker 3: to LA don't quit your day jaunt, don't you like Yeah, yeah,
• 54:00
  Speaker 3: Chris is like you'll be more successful in your day
• 54:02
  Speaker 3: job than anything else.
• 54:03
  Speaker 1: Yeah, I would say that.
• 54:04
  Speaker 3: And I used to talk to trist about this all
• 54:05
  Speaker 3: the time. And I and I think the other thing
• 54:08
  Speaker 3: is like give it. Like Molly and I were living,
• 54:12
  Speaker 3: Molly was living in Milwaukee and I was living in Seattle,
• 54:15
  Speaker 3: Like don't you don't have to jump in real quick,
• 54:17
  Speaker 3: like like like uplifting your life, uprooting your life and saying, hey,
• 54:21
  Speaker 3: I'm going to move to Seattle or I'm going to
• 54:23
  Speaker 3: move to Michigan, or I'm going to move to Papa Springs.
• 54:25
  Speaker 1: Like that's not real either, Like you meet somebody.
• 54:28
  Speaker 3: In a week later that move, I'd say, you get
• 54:30
  Speaker 3: a shot where you're going to expose yourself to their life.
• 54:33
  Speaker 1: They're going to experience some of your life and you.
• 54:35
  Speaker 3: Know, and again, like whether it's the Golden Bachelor or
• 54:38
  Speaker 3: as the show changes a little bit, a lot of
• 54:40
  Speaker 3: people have kids or grandkids.
• 54:42
  Speaker 1: So you want to be able to be real like
• 54:43
  Speaker 1: and I went through this.
• 54:44
  Speaker 3: Right, You want to be really sensitive that like that
• 54:47
  Speaker 3: really works out and like the people in your life
• 54:51
  Speaker 3: aren't like shell shocked by this other person coming into
• 54:53
  Speaker 3: your life and same vice person, but really experiencing where
• 54:57
  Speaker 3: they're from. Like Molly and I dated long distance from
• 55:00
  Speaker 3: a year, like we here once a month, I'd go
• 55:02
  Speaker 3: there once a month, and we did it. Like again,
• 55:05
  Speaker 3: it took a it was a year, and that might
• 55:06
  Speaker 3: be fast for some people, but we gave it plenty
• 55:09
  Speaker 3: of time before she moved to Seattle.
• 55:11
  Speaker 1: Yeah, I love that that is that's the kind of
• 55:14
  Speaker 1: advice that, Yeah, that's the kind of advice that you
• 55:16
  Speaker 1: need to hear because I think what happens, Uh, there's
• 55:20
  Speaker 1: there's so much pressure, as we all know, you know,
• 55:23
  Speaker 1: and I mean, you know, when when I chose a
• 55:28
  Speaker 1: whole by the name of Estella, I didn't propose at
• 55:30
  Speaker 1: the time, and when we came off the show, there
• 55:32
  Speaker 1: was just so much pressure to do so many things,
• 55:35
  Speaker 1: and my life was going on a million miles an hour,
• 55:37
  Speaker 1: and you know, hers wasn't because they didn't know her yet, right,
• 55:42
  Speaker 1: because she hadn't been exposed yet. And and it's the
• 55:45
  Speaker 1: way they used to do the show back then. And
• 55:47
  Speaker 1: I'm not sure if you if you even watched it
• 55:49
  Speaker 1: back then, Gary or not, but they would always make
• 55:50
  Speaker 1: it seem like you were going to pick the other one,
• 55:52
  Speaker 1: so that you know, there's like this formulaic thing, and
• 55:54
  Speaker 1: so if you if you were choosing this person, they
• 55:56
  Speaker 1: always made it look like you were choosing this one,
• 55:58
  Speaker 1: so that when you actually chose this one, it was
• 56:00
  Speaker 1: shock and awe, but there was also automatic backlash, you know,
• 56:04
  Speaker 1: And so you come off that last night of filming,
• 56:06
  Speaker 1: and now it's finally out there and everyone knows we're together,
• 56:09
  Speaker 1: and everywhere you go they're like, why didn't you pick
• 56:11
  Speaker 1: the other one? I don't understand, and they're saying it
• 56:13
  Speaker 1: right in front of her, like she's not even there,
• 56:15
  Speaker 1: and you're like, oh my god.
• 56:16
  Speaker 2: You know.
• 56:17
  Speaker 1: It was terrible, you know, and thankfully we're still really
• 56:19
  Speaker 1: friendly that both of the last two girls of my
• 56:21
  Speaker 1: season and I are and they've both been guessed on
• 56:23
  Speaker 1: almost famous dogs by the way, which is crazy. Yeah,
• 56:26
  Speaker 1: oh yeah, yeah, that's been kind of fun. It's been
• 56:28
  Speaker 1: a guest too. Yeah. So it's always Bob's access on
• 56:31
  Speaker 1: the show.
• 56:32
  Speaker 2: But let me interject because I think something Jason said
• 56:36
  Speaker 2: is very important and we don't want to forget. And
• 56:39
  Speaker 2: I think that's why the producers have incorporated the family,
• 56:44
  Speaker 2: you know, the hometowns that meet the families, because you
• 56:48
  Speaker 2: really take into consideration your loved ones and their thoughts,
• 56:52
  Speaker 2: who are now adult kids and they have marriages, and
• 56:56
  Speaker 2: you want them to have some say in this because
• 56:59
  Speaker 2: you really, I don't even trust their opinion, and I
• 57:03
  Speaker 2: think that's another big part of the decision you have
• 57:05
  Speaker 2: to make and who you're going to be with because
• 57:08
  Speaker 2: it's not just you stand alone anymore. It's now you
• 57:12
  Speaker 2: and so many others that decision.
• 57:17
  Speaker 3: You know, it's interesting because, like I think, being on
• 57:18
  Speaker 3: the show, you get this natural high. Right there's the TV,
• 57:21
  Speaker 3: the cameras, the girls, the dates and everything. But even
• 57:25
  Speaker 3: outside of the show, you're still on a high in those.
• 57:27
  Speaker 1: First few months you're dating somebody.
• 57:29
  Speaker 2: Yeah.
• 57:29
  Speaker 3: Like, and I think you've got to figure out how
• 57:31
  Speaker 3: to put yourself in a position where, like things will
• 57:34
  Speaker 3: happen after the high, like the real relate. Well we've
• 57:37
  Speaker 3: all been married, right, so the real relationship happens when
• 57:40
  Speaker 3: the high's over, exactly, of in a position where you
• 57:43
  Speaker 3: can really realistically understand what life will be like after
• 57:47
  Speaker 3: that high.
• 57:48
  Speaker 1: Yeah, yeah, I agree. I agree. Man. Well, hey, Gary,
• 57:52
  Speaker 1: if your phone rings tomorrow and they're like, yes, sir Gary,
• 57:57
  Speaker 1: this is the call, buddy. We want to know are
• 57:58
  Speaker 1: you here? We go Jason doing the call. We want
• 58:01
  Speaker 1: you to be the next Golden Bachelor. Gary, what are
• 58:07
  Speaker 1: we saying? That's a tough.
• 58:11
  Speaker 2: Because you know, look, you guys have been in that
• 58:14
  Speaker 2: hot seat where you're making decisions about who and when
• 58:19
  Speaker 2: and where and why. Uh, it'd be a lot of fun,
• 58:22
  Speaker 2: but at the same time it could be very stressful.
• 58:26
  Speaker 2: Oh yeah, I have to think about that.
• 58:29
  Speaker 1: I haven't.
• 58:29
  Speaker 2: I haven't really even thought about that and taking that
• 58:32
  Speaker 2: next step. But you know, who knows. Let's see, let's
• 58:34
  Speaker 2: see where. Let's see where the big man upstairs takes me.
• 58:37
  Speaker 1: And that you know what's funny about That's where I
• 58:38
  Speaker 1: will be. You know what's funny about that? Like, I
• 58:40
  Speaker 1: think all of it.
• 58:41
  Speaker 3: I think I even called Bob before I did The Bachelor.
• 58:43
  Speaker 3: I think we all called Bob.
• 58:44
  Speaker 1: And we did. Yeah, we talked for sure close.
• 58:49
  Speaker 3: I think he's I think what he said and if
• 58:51
  Speaker 3: I could quote wrong, he's like, I'm gonna tell you
• 58:53
  Speaker 3: not to do it, but you're gonna do it anyways.
• 58:55
  Speaker 1: Yeah, I actually do think I said that because I
• 58:59
  Speaker 1: I will tell you. I mean one of the things too,
• 59:01
  Speaker 1: What about Golden Paradise. What if they did a Bachelor?
• 59:04
  Speaker 1: You know Golden Bachelor?
• 59:05
  Speaker 2: Is that okay? So I'd probably have to drop about
• 59:09
  Speaker 2: thirty forty pounds, you know. I don't know. If you
• 59:11
  Speaker 2: guys saw that Chippendale dance where Mike Big King showed up,
• 59:15
  Speaker 2: I'm thinking I got a six pack and they didn't
• 59:17
  Speaker 2: slow motion.
• 59:18
  Speaker 1: I'm thinking, oh no, when you get older, it's called
• 59:22
  Speaker 1: the keg exactly. Yeah, it's a kegger, it's ager, so
• 59:27
  Speaker 1: you guys you know, yeah, yeah, I love to think
• 59:31
  Speaker 1: about it. Right. Well, Thank you guys both so much
• 59:34
  Speaker 1: for being open to talking about all this stuff. And
• 59:36
  Speaker 1: I mean, you talk about putting yourself out there. You
• 59:38
  Speaker 1: guys both did that today. You both did it when
• 59:40
  Speaker 1: you were on the show. And I think I've already
• 59:43
  Speaker 1: seen it unfold for Jason, but I think we're gonna
• 59:45
  Speaker 1: watch it unfold with you too, Gary. That It's just
• 59:47
  Speaker 1: things are just gonna keep on getting better, buddy, and
• 59:49
  Speaker 1: I and I think you deserve it, and I'm happy
• 59:51
  Speaker 1: for you and and very happy to see what comes
• 59:54
  Speaker 1: next for you, my friend. And you guys are always
• 59:57
  Speaker 1: welcome to join me here where we are just doling
• 59:59
  Speaker 1: out the advice we humanly possibly can to anybody who
• 1:00:03
  Speaker 1: might be listening. Right, So awesome, awesome, stay close, stay
• 1:00:06
  Speaker 1: c yes out of that you what you guys all
• 1:00:10
  Speaker 1: do so very well.
• 1:00:11
  Speaker 5: Man.
• 1:00:11
  Speaker 2: You guys mean so much and you matter to so
• 1:00:15
  Speaker 2: many folks. But I need you to so stay quotes please.
• 1:00:19
  Speaker 1: We got you, got you, buddy, Jasin and I Are.
• 1:00:21
  Speaker 1: We're a package deal. You got us anytime you guys.
• 1:00:24
  Speaker 1: All right, guys, it was so great catch up with
• 1:00:26
  Speaker 1: both of you. I think a lot of women got
• 1:00:28
  Speaker 1: a bunch of wonderful information out of our session today.
• 1:00:31
  Speaker 1: It's a great job, gentlemen. Now, if you guys are
• 1:00:34
  Speaker 1: out there and you want some relationship or dating advice,
• 1:00:36
  Speaker 1: or if you're single and you're ready to find love again,
• 1:00:38
  Speaker 1: make sure you call us at one eight four four
• 1:00:41
  Speaker 1: four I Do Pod. That's eight four four four four
• 1:00:45
  Speaker 1: three six seven sixty three, or email us at the
• 1:00:48
  Speaker 1: I Do Pod at Higheartradio dot com and Leslie find
• 1:00:52
  Speaker 1: us on the Gram at I Do Part two Pod. Guys,
• 1:00:56
  Speaker 1: we're here for you, Okay, this is what we're doing
• 1:00:58
  Speaker 1: now right. We're a team and we're gonna dish out.
• 1:01:01
  Speaker 1: You know, we're gonna I'm gonna bring my guys back
• 1:01:02
  Speaker 1: whenever we need more. Yeah, that's right. Well, I think
• 1:01:06
  Speaker 1: we did a great job today, guys. We solving all
• 1:01:08
  Speaker 1: the world's problems. We gave a bunch of awesome places
• 1:01:11
  Speaker 1: for women and men to meet. So you know, I
• 1:01:14
  Speaker 1: think I think we've really delivered on a lot of
• 1:01:16
  Speaker 1: this for everybody, and if you guys have any success
• 1:01:18
  Speaker 1: out there at any of the spots we mentioned, call
• 1:01:21
  Speaker 1: us and let us know. We need that immediate gratification.
• 1:01:23
  Speaker 1: We need to know what we're doing here matters. I
• 1:01:25
  Speaker 1: Do Part two, an iHeartRadio podcast where falling in love
• 1:01:28
  Speaker 1: is the main objective.