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29. Is This God or Just Me? Use Discernment to Make Good Decisions · Believe & Become | Ministry, Biblical Encouragement, God's Will, How to Change, Holy Spirit

• 0:00
  Speaker A: Do you ever have trouble making decisions? Do you get stuck trying to discern between the good and the best? We get it. We have been there. So today we are excited to share with you some of the tools we use to make good decisions and how we figure out what God is saying over the decisions we are making. Hang on. This is going to be a good one. If you're tired of leading others while secretly battling doubt, discouragement and mental warfare.
• 0:28
  Speaker B: And you want practical tools to renew your mind and walk boldly in your.
• 0:32
  Speaker A: Calling as a leader, you're in the right place. Welcome to Believe and Become.
• 0:36
  Speaker B: We're Josh and Karina, your spirit filled coaches here to help you overcome those limiting beliefs and lead others confidently.
• 0:43
  Speaker A: If you're ready to hear God's voice more clearly, to step into your purpose and find joy and strength in the.
• 0:49
  Speaker B: Everyday, silence those Bible app reminders judging you from your lock screen and let's jump in. Hey friend, here's a quick invitation before we dive in. If you're a spirit filled Christian in leadership, whether you're a pastor, business owner or a stay at home mom and you're feeling stretched thin, stuck and overthinking or unsure how to break through, what's holding you back? You are not alone. We would love to invite you to our brand new Facebook group, Overcome Limiting Beliefs for Christians in Leadership. It's a space for faith filled leaders like you to be refreshed and encouraged and equipped to renew your mind and lead from God's presence, not pressure. Inside you'll find community, practical guidance and uplifting conversations that help you step into greater clarity, peace and purpose.
• 1:39
  Speaker C: Come join us.
• 1:40
  Speaker B: Follow the link in the show notes.
• 1:41
  Speaker C: We'll meet you there.
• 1:42
  Speaker A: Well, welcome to the podcast. We're so excited for this episode. It's going to be great. Yeah, we're talking about decision making. Boy, that can be tough.
• 1:50
  Speaker C: Yeah.
• 1:51
  Speaker A: Karina and I are kind of opposite when it comes to making decisions. Karina is more of a let's make a decision and go with it. Let's try it out. She's enthusiastic, full steam ahead and I am very much a careful let's make multiple spreadsheets. We need to take at least a month for every to analyze and consider all of the possibilities. It's just the way that we're wired.
• 2:15
  Speaker C: Yeah.
• 2:15
  Speaker A: And part of that comes from the way that Karina hears from the Lord. She's more of a knower. She just knows things and so, so, so many times we've been praying about it. She's like, this is what we should do. I. And I would say, well, how do you know that? She's like, I don't know. I just know.
• 2:27
  Speaker C: I just feel like it's what we're supposed to do.
• 2:29
  Speaker A: Supposed to do. And I'm like, but I need to know. So. So that has, I mean, caused some difficulty, I guess. Not. Not. Not real bad. But just from time to time. I know Karina's probably a little frustrated by the time I come around to the same decision. She's like, we could have been done with this a month ago. But I'm glad you finally came around to what I already knew. That is true for me, decision fatigue is a real thing. Like, you made so many decisions or you've thought about it so long, you get the paralysis of analysis where it's like, I don't. I don. Know anymore.
• 3:02
  Speaker C: Yeah.
• 3:02
  Speaker A: They all seem the same to me. So that's really frustrating.
• 3:05
  Speaker C: Yeah. And that often leads to inaction. It's just. It's literally paralysis where it's like, I'm just not gonna do anything because I don't know what to do. And so then that has at times led to things that needed to be taken care of that didn't get taken care of in time and stuff like that. And so it is important that you have a process for making decisions and not. It's not that one way is good or bad. And I love that we balance each other out.
• 3:31
  Speaker A: Yeah.
• 3:32
  Speaker C: You know, my, like, let's just try it and see what happens kind of attitude hasn't always served me well. And so Josh has brought good balance to my impulsiveness. But one of the things that has really helped me is to realize that God is leading me. That because I am seeking him and I'm pursuing him and I'm intent on obeying him, he is going to lead me. And so I don't necessarily make impulsive decisions like I used to. But I. I do know that when I'm praying about something and I feel a certain way or I. I think, oh, this is what I should do, then I can trust that that's God. So it's important to recognize that discernment is not always gonna look like I know exactly what to do. Right. Oh, now I know this is the way. This is the thing. Right. That's not necessarily what discernment is gonna look like. Sometimes it looks like I trust God and God is leading me, and I discern that he's leading me in this direction. I feel like this is the right way to go. So I'm going to take this step of faith. And so sometime we want the skies to part and the Lord to hand us the scroll and it says, this is what you should do. Right. Like, we all want that. But it's so often more about trusting that he's really leading us, that we are connected to him and that he is going to take care of it even if we get it wrong.
• 4:48
  Speaker A: I love that so much. It really takes the pressure off of, well, one trying to feel like, okay, I need to hear the audible voice of God. I mean, we, whenever we're making decisions, of course we want clear direction from the Lord, but sometimes that's just not how he's choosing to speak to us. And sometimes it's because he wants us to lean into his presence. And sometimes he's giving us the opportunity to demonstrate that we can make good decisions on faith. That I am connected to the Lord. He is speaking to me. He's given me his wisdom. I think, like he thinks. And so here's three doors. Pick one and you're like, I don't know, God, which one? You open it and guess what? Jesus is on the other side of the door. He's like, good job, you made the right decision. And sometimes I think he's behind all the doors. Well, he's. Yeah, he's behind all the doors. Or he's. He's inviting us just to, to dream with him and say, there's no right or wrong in this situation. It's actually what's on your heart.
• 5:46
  Speaker C: Yeah.
• 5:46
  Speaker A: Because he likes to partner with us. We don't work for God. We work with him because we're his children, were not his servants, we're not his slaves. And so he's like, okay, well what, what are you passionate about? And so that to me takes a lot of the pressure off of, oh my gosh, I'm gonna get it wrong. I'm gonna make the wrong decision and I'm going to destroy my life. And realize that God is bigger than any. Wrong decision. Wrong decision. I'll put that in quotes that we make. He can redeem anything and he's ultimately gonna get us to where we need to go. As long as we're pursuing him, we're trying our best to follow Him. He goes, I see your heart. I'm gonna get you where you need to go. I'm gonna work it out for you. And so one thing that has help this decision making process from a book called Fully Convinced by Steve Backland. We were fortunate enough to do the third Year of our ministry school with Steve Backland and the Igniting Hope team, and that this is one book and process that has really impacted us a lot and given us a framework for making decisions that has been really helpful, and we hope that it will help you, too.
• 6:50
  Speaker C: So the first thing you want to do is just consider your options. What are the. The options in the situation you're in? Often I think that we kind of pigeonhole ourselves. And, like, I have to do this because if I don't, then the world will explode or whatever, right? Like, my life will fall apart. And there are always more options than I think we realize. So what are the options before you? And are there any that you haven't considered? Obviously, we want to take every step through this process with the Lord. So, Lord, show me if there's any options that I've overlooked. Show me. And what I'm missing here, but write it down. What are the options that I have in this situation? And then we start with pros and cons, which is a process that a lot of us have undertaken over the years. But go down your list with your options and say, what are the good parts of this? What are the bad parts? And go pros and cons all the way through your options list.
• 7:41
  Speaker A: It's so good to actually write it down because that will bring clarity to your thinking where it's not just all swirling around in your head and you kind of get panicked. You don't know, oh, my gosh, I can't. I'm just confused. And when we're. We're in that confused, kind of fearful state, we're not going to hear clearly from the Lord. When we're at peace and rest, then that allows us to hear him better. He's always speaking to us. But sometimes we're just like, our brains are too, going crazy. And so that clarity of writing it down is really, really helpful.
• 8:12
  Speaker C: I think sometimes, too, in your head, the lists are longer or shorter than they actually are, right? You're like, I have all these reasons. And then you go to write them down, and you're like, there's only three.
• 8:20
  Speaker A: There was.
• 8:20
  Speaker C: Yeah, there's only three good things.
• 8:22
  Speaker A: There's only two.
• 8:24
  Speaker C: Because sometimes maybe you want one option more than another. And so then we, like, inflate the numbers. So when we can see it on paper, sometimes there's clarity just in that. Just in clarifying your options, pros and cons, you're like, oh, my gosh, this is really clear what I'm supposed to do.
• 8:39
  Speaker A: And our. Our Emotions cloud the decision.
• 8:42
  Speaker C: Yeah.
• 8:42
  Speaker A: Which our emotions aren't necessarily bad, but it's nice to take a more logical approach, I guess. But then that's not all we do. We're actually going to invite the Lord to speak powerfully into this decision. And so we're going to start discerning what God is saying. Are there any scriptures that have been highlighted to you in this season of trying to make the decision? Oh, I was reading this morning, and this jumped off the page at me, and I was so excited, I wrote it down. Maybe God is speaking to you through his written word and then just be paying attention for God's stories. These are unusual coincidences that might happen. Prophetic words that you receive from other people. Maybe just an encouraging text message that kind of came out of the blue. You're like, well, that seemed random. Oh, that could be the Lord. Because sometimes he uses other people to speak into us. Sometimes you'll have a dream that you wake up and you go, oh, that felt different from my normal dreams, which I know that I didn't always think about God speaking to me in my dreams, but reading the Bible, how many times did he use a dream to direct? So many times.
• 9:46
  Speaker C: Yeah.
• 9:47
  Speaker A: And so right now, God is releasing dreams over you where he's going to speak into your life and into your situation. And there's been multiple times where we've had very special dreams where the Lord has spoken to us and that has directed the course of our life. He wants to do that for you.
• 10:03
  Speaker C: I actually have a quick story about this. Most of my dreams are what we like to call pizza dreams, where it's just like, if you ever saw that episode of the Cosby show where he had, like, the meatball sub.
• 10:11
  Speaker A: Boom.
• 10:12
  Speaker C: Or bed.
• 10:12
  Speaker A: I love that one.
• 10:13
  Speaker C: And then he had the dreams about the meatball subs.
• 10:15
  Speaker A: We're dating ourselves here.
• 10:16
  Speaker C: That's. Okay. So that it's. It's kind of like that. Like, most of my dreams are like, what the heck was that? Right. But I had started writing my book in 2019, I think, and started and stopped and started and stopped and it was just there. But I had been feeling like the Lord was telling me that it was time to pick it back up in the summer of 2024. So I was like, okay, yeah, okay. I'm. I'm supposed to write. I'm supposed to finish my book. Like, you have this. What we've talked about a lot, this intention to do something, but not necessarily the action behind it. And so I had purchased this little Mini course to learn something else that I could maybe make some money from. And so I had started this course, literally one lesson. I watched the intro lesson. That was all I had time for. Went to bed and I was dreaming about doing this course. I was dreaming about what it was going to be and all of that. And I woke up out of the dream and I heard the command was to write as clear as day. And that is not, like I said, pizza dreams all the time, okay? And so this is not my norm. And I was like, yes, Lord. I just knew it was him. And I knew he was saying, don't get distracted trying to provide for yourself. Do the thing I told you to do. And it was just so clear to me that was him. And I think those are the moments when we can be like, was that really God? I don't know. Did he really say that to me? Maybe it was just me, you know, I was waking up. Weird things happen when you're waking up. You know, you hear weird noises. But instead I chose to attach faith that that was God speaking to me. I finished my book that summer, and then over last. The last school year, I was able to publish it. And I've gotten to teach Bible studies from it. And it's been so cool, and it's been such a blessing and, and just a really amazing journey with the Lord out of a dream that really was a dream of my heart that he was bringing to life.
• 12:05
  Speaker A: I love that story. We have another story. We, like I mentioned before, we did our. Our third year of ministry school with the Igniting Hope team. And early on, when we started ministry school, we kept getting people kind of saying, you should be with Steve and the Igniting Hope people. That would be a really good fit. We're like, okay, cool. We had just barely kind of heard about him, really, and heard him speak a couple times. And so when we got to third year, we heard they're not taking any students. And so we were super bummed. We're like, oh, no, what are we going to do? And so we started trying to figure out, okay, who else would we apply to and whatnot. And I just happened to be at church one day, and there was one of the guys that's on staff at the church that I'd gone on a ministry trip. He doesn't. He was in the line to check in your kids to Sunday school. He doesn't even have kids. But he just happened to be there.
• 12:56
  Speaker C: And we've never seen him at our service.
• 12:58
  Speaker A: Never seen him at the service before. Or since, but he just happened to be there. So we started chatting a little bit and he asked me, okay, who are you applying to? And I told him about the situation. He goes, well, why don't you just send him an email? That's what I did. The person that I ended up with wasn't taking, wasn't taking students my third year either. And I just sent her an email and look, and then he ended up like working with her. And it was, it turned turned out to be a great story. And I was like, okay. So I did. And then they wrote me back. They said, well, we didn't really receive any people that are kind of stepping out and trying to, you know, make it happen, even though we're not taking students. And so I met with some of the team. That meeting went great. And then I got a text message from Steve saying, hey, let's go on a walk and chat some more. And so they made an exception and they took me onto the team. And then Karina had been applying.
• 13:47
  Speaker C: Yeah, I was applying half heartedly because I didn't know if I wanted to do third year or if I just wanted to be home because up until school I was a stay at home mom who homeschooled our children and school was a lot. And so I was like, maybe I'm done and, but I felt like I should apply. And so I had started applying and everybody I applied to was like, we're. We decided we're not taking third years, but if we were, we would totally have taken you. And we just filled up. Sorry, you know, we don't have any more room. So it was just like this one after another of like, nope, decided not to just change our mind too full, whatever. And I was really close to just being like, whatever, I'm good, I'll stay home. Thanks.
• 14:26
  Speaker A: God.
• 14:27
  Speaker C: I tried. And I literally was only applying when I felt like he was highlighting somebody or told me to. And then I got a text message from Angela, who was Steve's pa, and she said, hey, your name came up on a list of people who haven't been matched yet. And we would love, you know, we would love to have an interview with you because your husband's on our team. And wouldn't it be so fun if you guys were on the team together? Like, we would love that. So do you want to meet? And so we did and they picked me. So we ended up on the Igniting Hope team and it changed our lives.
• 14:58
  Speaker A: Yeah, it was such a powerful year and we continue to volunteer with them and all of the things that we talk about on our podcast kind of was birthed in their ministry and in their teachings and just how much it's impacted our lives. It's been huge. And that. So that was a God story where he worked it out. It's like, well, I just happened to talk randomly to this guy that I hadn't seen for a really long time, and it was a God story. And on the igniting hope side, they were waiting for a God story. They knew they might need a couple of students, couple three, to start this new school that they were doing online. And so they were just kind of waiting for the Lord to bring people up that had a God story. And so he just worked it out for us. It was so good.
• 15:40
  Speaker C: It was fun. So once you have your options, your pros and cons, or looking through scripture, you're asking the Lord, what are you saying? You're looking for God stories. I think this is a really good way to bring discernment into the process. You're looking for God's story. So it's not necessarily audible voice or anything like that, but it's God is doing something. Just like in our story that we just shared, God was doing something even though we weren't necessarily aware of it. The next thing you want to be looking for is wise counsel. Always seek out wise counsel. There's so much wisdom in seeking out the counsel of people that you trust, of people that love you. Your pastor, your parents, your boss, godly friends, co workers that, that have your best interest at heart. Seek out Godly counsel. Make sure that it's, like I said, somebody that loves you, somebody that has your best interest at heart, and somebody who also knows Jesus, because often they'll have wisdom for us. They'll see us in a way that we don't see ourselves. And so it's important that we look to those around us, the people that God has given us, to confirm what he's speaking.
• 16:48
  Speaker A: The next thing you want to do is just check in with your peace level. God doesn't lead us in fear or anxiety. So if you're feeling really anxious about a particular direction, you want to pause. Obviously, we don't want to make any decisions when we're tired or hungry or emotional, any of those things. So we want to be in a good place physically, mentally, and then check in with the Lord. Get in a peaceful spot where you feel really well connected to him and you're hearing his voice, and then that's where you want to start considering your options, putting Together, all the different things that we've talked about, what you've heard from your godly counsel, and then, okay, where's the peace? I'm going to follow the peace. Okay, this option I feel more peace on. That's the direction that you want to go, which that can be tough. And especially I'm more of a. I've struggled with anxiety in the past. I just struggled. Feel a little more anxious about making different decisions sometimes. And so sometimes that can be really hard. But if you're intentional, to take a moment, take a deep breath, slow down a little bit, and just check in with the Lord and what he's saying, then you can discern, okay, where's the real peace? And sometimes it takes a risk, right? God's saying, okay, I want you to go through this door. I know that's a risk for you. But sometimes the risk is where the Lord is. Sometimes he does ask us to step out of the boat and to follow Him. And so sometimes it's okay. That feels risky to me, but I really feel like I need to step out. And sometimes you can just start moving in a direction. Maybe I'm not. I'm not fully convinced that this is the. Steve would probably disagree with that. But. But start taking steps because it's. Once you start some forward movement, it's easier for God to direct you. It's much easier to steer a moving ship. I love that analogy.
• 18:32
  Speaker C: Yeah, that's so good. And then the last thing you want to do is make a conclusion. You have to come to that point where you're going to make the decision and attach faith to the decision that you make. It is so important that we attach that faith, that we say, okay, Lord, this is what I'm doing. I lay this out before you. Here are the scriptures, here are the God stories. Here's the decision that I'm going to make. And it's okay to say, God, I'm going to give you a week to change my mind. Lord, if there's something. If this is not the right decision for me, change my mind. Send me a prophetic word. Send me another God story to show me that this is not it. But don't get stuck because you don't get it. This is the decision I'm making. This is the direction I'm going, and trust that the Lord is behind it. A bad decision made in faith has a greater likelihood of success than a good decision made in doubt. So when you make that decision, trust that as you attach faith to that decision. I believe this is the way that the Lord is leading me and you move in that direction. Like Josh said, he is going to continue to direct you and if you're going the wrong way, he will redirect you. He's not going to punish you and you're not going to blow up your life. So just connect with him.
• 19:42
  Speaker A: Yeah. I want to highlight what you said about giving the Lord some time to change your mind, because I hadn't heard that before. Not many people have. And it's like, okay, I have done my process. This is the decision I'm making, God, I'm giving you the weekend or I'm giving you the week to change my mind. But you. The key is you can't do it through negative circumstances or fear, anxiety, or through anything, you know, just a bad feeling, discouragement, any of that stuff. It has to be through another God story and see what he does. I think usually when we give him that time, there'll be a confirmation in our heart or something will happen that you're like, okay, that really was not the right path for me. But overall, we just want to remove the fear of making a wrong decision. That's the key, is that Jesus is bigger than any mistake we're going to make. And you might make a risky decision and maybe it doesn't work out. God is still God. He's still faithful. He's still in control. He's going to take care of you and he can get you back on course. Sometimes you learn a lot about decisions that you made. You're like, well, that didn't work out. That's okay. That's not where I'm supposed to be. The Lord wasn't on that. He's over here.
• 20:54
  Speaker C: I think you also learn about how to listen. Yeah, you learn about, like, I thought I was listening, but actually I was moving out of my emotions or out of fear or anxiety, even though I was trying really hard. And so you, you learn a lot about yourself in that process.
• 21:08
  Speaker A: So let's recap the steps. We're going to write down our options with the pros and cons. We're going to discern what God is saying through God's stories. Any scriptures, unusual coincidences, prophetic words, dreams, any visions that you've seen while you're pray, praying, or in worship. You're going to seek out godly wise counsel, and then you're going to check in with your peace level and then make your decision and then attach faith to the decision that you made. So if you're struggling with a decision that you need to make and you need somebody to walk you through the process of decision making. We would love to help you with that. You can go on our website and book a one hour session. We'll chat with you through the decision that you need to make and help you check in with what God has discerned his voice, what he's saying in this situation. And a lot of times we have limiting beliefs that are holding us back from maybe making what feels like a more risky decision but the Lord is really leading us into. So we'll help you break off those lies that are holding you back. Check out our website joshandkarina.com coaching j-o s H-A-N-C-O-R-I-N a.com coaching we'll have the link in the show notes. Check that out. We would love to work with you.
• 22:16
  Speaker C: Yeah. Well thank you for tuning in today. Wherever you are in your car, washing dishes, working out, whatever you're doing, we just bless you to make good decisions with Holy Spirit and we bless the rest of your day and we love you and we just release grace over your decision making process. Wherever you are in that, God is right there with you and he is going to help you to make the best decision. And this is going to be a great year.
• 22:47
  Speaker B: Hey friend, we hope you enjoyed today's episode. If so, would you take 30 seconds to share this podcast with someone who may need encouragement or practical tools for fighting their battle?
• 22:57
  Speaker A: Then rate and review this podcast. Help us spread the message of transformation far and wide.
• 23:02
  Speaker B: All right, time to walk back into the noise with peace, purpose and maybe a tiny bit of guffing.
• 23:07
  Speaker A: We'll meet you back next Thursday for another episode. Bye Sam.