Latest / Relationship Coaching Group Podcast / "What it's Like Being Single Abroad, 'A personal Interview'"

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"What it's Like Being Single Abroad, 'A personal Interview'" · Relationship Coaching Group Podcast

0:10
SPEAKER_01: Welcome to Relationship Coaching Group Podcast.
0:13
SPEAKER_01: I'm Roxanne, along with my co-host, the Professor.
0:18
SPEAKER_01: And today we have a special treat because we have a special guest who's going to share with us what it's like being single abroad.
0:27
SPEAKER_01: Professor, would you like to introduce our lovely guests to our wonderful listeners?
0:32
SPEAKER_00: Good morning.
0:34
SPEAKER_00: And a special thank you to our guest here, Jasmine.
0:38
SPEAKER_00: Give it up for Jasmine.
0:41
SPEAKER_00: Jasmine, welcome to the podcast.
0:43
SPEAKER_00: We're happy to have you.
0:45
SPEAKER_00: And um we're gonna learn a little bit about so here we are in beautiful Tanang.
0:51
SPEAKER_00: And we're gonna hear from Jasmine's perspective on dating life.
0:58
SPEAKER_00: So you ready for this?
0:59
SPEAKER_02: I'm ready.
1:00
SPEAKER_02: All right.
1:03
SPEAKER_01: Hello, Jasmine, and welcome to our relationship coaching group podcast.
1:07
SPEAKER_01: And we're so happy to have you.
1:09
SPEAKER_01: So as we start, would you please start tell start by telling us a little bit about yourself?
1:15
SPEAKER_01: Absolutely.
1:16
SPEAKER_01: Thank you so much for having me on the podcast.
1:18
SPEAKER_01: Oh, we love it.
1:20
SPEAKER_01: If you saw, if you saw this smile, listeners, you would melt.
1:25
SPEAKER_02: Um, so I'm Jasmine.
1:27
SPEAKER_02: I am first generation American.
1:30
SPEAKER_02: Um, I grew up in Asia as well as lived and worked abroad um in South Korea and the Middle East.
1:38
SPEAKER_02: Um, spent uh majority of my career in um the Air Force.
1:43
SPEAKER_02: I was Thank you for your service.
1:45
SPEAKER_02: Yeah, no worries.
1:47
SPEAKER_02: Uh did a lot of cool things.
1:49
SPEAKER_02: I lived, I think I moved about eight times um in about 11 years.
1:55
SPEAKER_02: Wow.
1:55
SPEAKER_02: So lived all over the world.
1:57
SPEAKER_02: Uh started a company while I was still in active duty that teaches kids about financial education.
2:03
SPEAKER_02: And we do that through games, children's books, um workbooks, and then curriculum that we license to schools and nonprofits.
2:09
SPEAKER_01: You're pretty and small.
2:12
SPEAKER_01: And such a busy lady.
2:14
SPEAKER_01: Wow.
2:15
SPEAKER_02: So what first brought you here in Dune?
2:18
SPEAKER_02: Yeah.
2:18
SPEAKER_02: So I visited Vietnam, Hanoi specifically um seven years ago with a few coworkers.
2:26
SPEAKER_02: I was living in South Korea and bought a ticket randomly on a Wednesday to leave on a Thursday, and I really enjoyed it.
2:34
SPEAKER_02: My the biggest treat for me was a$35 massage for like four hours.
2:39
SPEAKER_02: Wow.
2:40
SPEAKER_02: Sold.
2:42
SPEAKER_02: Signed the um and then so what brought me here was kind of had a pretty challenging season at the beginning of this year, and I knew I needed a break.
2:56
SPEAKER_02: I needed and I knew I needed to get out of the US.
2:58
SPEAKER_02: And um, I was originally gonna go to Portugal.
3:01
SPEAKER_02: I had researched Portugal for like many years, visited Lisbon and Porto uh two years ago, and there was a YouTube channel on the Nang, and I was like, what is this?
3:14
SPEAKER_02: You know, I never even thought about going back to Vietnam.
3:17
SPEAKER_02: I thought it was a nice, oh no, it was nice, but I didn't think it was something that I would ever do again.
3:22
SPEAKER_02: And then my dad lives on this side of the world, so I thought, okay, maybe it'll be a really nice trip to go see him and then kind of stop in Vietnam.
3:30
SPEAKER_02: Nice.
3:31
SPEAKER_01: So how long have you been here?
3:32
SPEAKER_02: Uh I I will be it's a month today.
3:35
SPEAKER_01: Oh wow.
3:36
SPEAKER_01: Okay.
3:37
SPEAKER_01: Thank you.
3:38
SPEAKER_01: Yeah, a little newbie.
3:41
SPEAKER_01: So you mentioned other pla other places.
3:43
SPEAKER_01: Can you give us those countries that you've you've been around in?
3:46
SPEAKER_02: Yeah, so I visited um 38 countries total.
3:50
SPEAKER_01: Um that might extend our podcast and just start naming 30.
3:59
SPEAKER_01: Wow.
4:00
SPEAKER_02: Yeah, so I've lived in 38, or sorry, visited 38 and lived in three different countries.
4:06
SPEAKER_02: Yeah.
4:07
SPEAKER_01: So what countries did you actually live in?
4:08
SPEAKER_02: Um, so South Korea, uh, in the Middle East and Afghanistan, and then I did some some stint in Europe.
4:18
SPEAKER_01: Nice.
4:19
SPEAKER_01: So so far, do you have a favorite country where you felt most comfortable?
4:24
SPEAKER_01: Um favorite out of all the places that I visited?
4:28
SPEAKER_01: Yes.
4:30
SPEAKER_01: I know you're gonna be traveling other new places, but so far, so far do you have a favorite?
4:35
SPEAKER_01: I really enjoy Portugal.
4:37
SPEAKER_02: Um South Korea was fun too.
4:39
SPEAKER_02: Japan, yeah.
4:42
SPEAKER_01: I have a lot of favorites.
4:44
SPEAKER_01: Brazil.
4:44
SPEAKER_01: Oh wow, Brazil's nice.
4:46
SPEAKER_01: Yeah, it was.
4:48
SPEAKER_01: I love the tropics.
4:49
SPEAKER_01: So uh tell us what it's like being single abroad.
4:54
SPEAKER_01: Oh, it's interesting.
4:56
SPEAKER_02: I never really thought what that question means.
5:00
SPEAKER_02: Being single abroad.
5:01
SPEAKER_02: Um I'm a pretty independent person, I think, regardless of where I've lived.
5:07
SPEAKER_02: And I think being single abroad is it's fun.
5:10
SPEAKER_02: Yeah.
5:12
SPEAKER_02: You know, to experience um dating or just meeting people in a new context.
5:18
SPEAKER_02: I sometimes being in the United States, it can be like people are just so busy.
5:22
SPEAKER_02: They're just so kind of focused on work or focused on whatever they have going on.
5:26
SPEAKER_02: So it can be challenging to meet just new people.
5:30
SPEAKER_02: So I feel like there's an openness to meeting new people here.
5:33
SPEAKER_02: Um, I know I'm probably a little bit more open than I would be in the United States.
5:37
SPEAKER_01: Right.
5:38
SPEAKER_01: And I was just about to ask you, how's the dating culture different abroad than it is back home?
5:42
SPEAKER_02: Yeah, uh.
5:50
SPEAKER_00: Listeners want to know.
5:52
SPEAKER_02: Yes.
5:52
SPEAKER_02: I so I think depending on where you are in the United States, that will determine, at least for me, that kind of dictates your outcomes with dating.
6:03
SPEAKER_02: Um, I'm based in DC, and so VC is like what used to be Chocolate City.
6:08
SPEAKER_02: It's not Chocolate City more like caramel, macchiata now.
6:12
SPEAKER_02: But um DC is like young professionals.
6:16
SPEAKER_02: A lot of people are single and they're single longer.
6:19
SPEAKER_02: So you have people in their 40s, still pretty single or divorced or whatnot.
6:22
SPEAKER_02: And so dating is like you can throw a rock and somebody will take you on a date.
6:27
SPEAKER_02: Like it's very, very easy, in my opinion, to find a date.
6:32
SPEAKER_02: Now, for that long-term commitment might not be the case, right?
6:36
SPEAKER_02: Because people have money, they have power, they have influence and status, and so they believe they have options and correct.
6:43
SPEAKER_02: And they will live their life accordingly, right?
6:45
SPEAKER_02: Um, I feel like here, travel or just traveling, because I I did go on a date when I was in Ecuador with someone who was from Uruguay.
6:53
SPEAKER_02: Uh-huh.
6:53
SPEAKER_02: And um I feel I think it's just I think there's like not this pressure of like getting married, having children.
7:02
SPEAKER_02: It's just I find like when I'm traveling overseas, it's just more like, oh, like you seem like a nice person.
7:08
SPEAKER_02: Let's get to know each other better.
7:10
SPEAKER_02: It's I feel like when I'm back in the States, although those are things that I want, um, those are goals of mine, but it it does feel like there's more pressure to like you have to choose the right person and it has to be perfect, and that's where it's here.
7:22
SPEAKER_02: It's there's also like a different dynamic if they're not uh American.
7:27
SPEAKER_02: And so they there's like a whole different culture with dating someone who's not from the US, yeah, and things can be misinterpreted, and so that I I find it to be fun.
7:38
SPEAKER_02: I find it to be fun.
7:38
SPEAKER_01: Were you answered my question?
7:40
SPEAKER_01: Because I was gonna ask you uh, how's the dating culture different abroad than it is if you notice a difference?
7:45
SPEAKER_01: Yeah.
7:46
SPEAKER_01: So you just kind of explain that.
7:47
SPEAKER_01: Do you want to expound on that a little bit?
7:49
SPEAKER_02: Yeah, I more like a little bit.
7:50
SPEAKER_02: I feel like um I have very low expectations here because it's Southeast Asia.
7:57
SPEAKER_02: Typically, men coming from other places probably not checking for me, right?
8:03
SPEAKER_02: Like just that's just what it is.
8:05
SPEAKER_02: That's that has been my experience living in South Korea.
8:08
SPEAKER_02: Um, yeah, men are just not really interested in American women.
8:12
SPEAKER_00: Oh wow.
8:13
SPEAKER_00: And you you're not just an American, she is fine as heck.
8:18
SPEAKER_00: So you better leave that.
8:20
SPEAKER_02: But it's still it's well, you like that's the for me, just low bar, just low expectations.
8:26
SPEAKER_02: So um I probab I'm probably more approached by men who are not from the US out here.
8:34
SPEAKER_01: Okay, okay.
8:36
SPEAKER_01: And have you how much the do the dating apps influence single life abroad?
8:41
SPEAKER_01: Like Tinder, bundle, does I have no idea.
8:44
SPEAKER_01: I'm not on them.
8:46
SPEAKER_01: No desire to be on them.
8:47
SPEAKER_02: She's not a swipe right girl.
8:50
SPEAKER_02: Not interested.
8:52
SPEAKER_00: I like her even more.
8:55
SPEAKER_02: Not interested.
8:56
SPEAKER_02: Okay.
8:57
SPEAKER_02: I used to do the dating apps like many years ago, like maybe four or five years ago.
9:03
SPEAKER_02: After that, I was like, I I just feel like the quality of connection is just not there.
9:08
SPEAKER_02: Usually, people who are on the apps.
9:11
SPEAKER_02: Now, for me, it was I was living in um a place where I just on the regular, I weren't I wasn't meeting anyone.
9:20
SPEAKER_02: I don't go to bars, I don't go to clubs, I don't go to lounges.
9:23
SPEAKER_02: So I was working, you know, eight to five, whatever, and then the weekends, it was like I would go to an event, but it was like really hard to meet people.
9:32
SPEAKER_02: So that was my way of like being able to meet someone.
9:34
SPEAKER_02: Right, right.
9:34
SPEAKER_02: I ended up finding my boyfriend, we c uh connected and he lived in Louisiana.
9:39
SPEAKER_02: So I was living in Texas, he lived in Louisiana, so we would have never probably crossed paths normally because he lived six hours away.
9:46
SPEAKER_02: Um, but yeah, after that, I was like, I I have no desire to get back on that.
9:51
SPEAKER_01: No, you kind of touched on this.
9:54
SPEAKER_01: So is casual dating more common, or do people want to be in a serious relationship?
9:59
SPEAKER_01: Have you noticed that uh across the the the countries you've been?
10:03
SPEAKER_01: Do they just want to date casually or are people actually looking for serious relationships?
10:08
SPEAKER_02: Um, I only deal with people who want a serious relationship.
10:12
SPEAKER_02: I'm not a casual dater.
10:13
SPEAKER_02: I feel like why would you have access to my time and my mind, like and my energy?
10:20
SPEAKER_02: Smart.
10:21
SPEAKER_00: See, this is not a booty core girl.
10:24
SPEAKER_00: This is a wholesome file.
10:27
SPEAKER_00: See, guys, I then this is what you miss it.
10:31
SPEAKER_02: But it's true, like that.
10:32
SPEAKER_02: Um I have found probably recently in my experience here, yeah, men are just interested in like kind of calves.
10:40
SPEAKER_02: And you could tell, like, in the way they communicate, like just recently had someone like, hey, you want to go to this restaurant at like this really late hour.
10:49
SPEAKER_02: And my sorority sister, I'll never forget, love her to death.
10:51
SPEAKER_02: Her name is Lindsay, and she was like, the only thing open past 10 is legs and liquor stuff.
10:56
SPEAKER_02: Yeah.
10:56
SPEAKER_02: So that is something I learned at 19 years old.
11:00
SPEAKER_02: Right, right.
11:01
SPEAKER_02: It has always stuck with me, and that's that's just how I live my life.
11:04
SPEAKER_02: So any person that's trying to respect me, respect my time, and respect my values as just a person, full honor that and how they interact with me.
11:13
SPEAKER_02: And I I have recognized recently that men will try to interact with me in a certain way, and then it it just doesn't work.
11:20
SPEAKER_02: It doesn't work.
11:22
SPEAKER_01: Respectable.
11:23
SPEAKER_01: Respect.
11:24
SPEAKER_01: And the class.
11:25
SPEAKER_01: Yes, that's what I like her even more.
11:29
SPEAKER_01: Okay.
11:30
SPEAKER_01: Now, being a single traveler and you've traveled so 35 38.
11:36
SPEAKER_01: Excuse me.
11:37
SPEAKER_01: 38.
11:38
SPEAKER_01: 38 countries.
11:40
SPEAKER_01: Uh, has that changed what you now want or expect in the partner or relationship?
11:46
SPEAKER_02: Yeah, it's something I talk to my friend quite a bit.
11:49
SPEAKER_02: She's like my auntie.
11:50
SPEAKER_02: Um, she's been married for about 11 years now.
11:53
SPEAKER_02: And we she'll talk about like how because I've seen so much and because I've been exposed to so much, then it it might be a bit challenging uh being with someone who maybe doesn't have that level of exposure or or is not open to just different perspectives, different ways of thinking.
12:15
SPEAKER_02: Um and so I think it I I think I'm open to someone who might not be as exposed to the world, but I do think that I kind of do want someone who is well traveled or has had different experiences and and can teach me a few things.
12:35
SPEAKER_02: I find that when I get into relationships, I'm always like sharing about you know the traveling or sharing about I'm I'm really good with financial management.
12:44
SPEAKER_02: Uh, my background is in finance, and so I would love to meet someone who can kind of fill in the gaps that I lack.
12:53
SPEAKER_02: And compliment yeah your your knowledge, your inspiration.
12:56
SPEAKER_01: Absolutely.
12:57
SPEAKER_01: Yes, absolutely.
12:59
SPEAKER_00: Here's here's the thing as an expat and traveling, your outlook on life is different because you've experienced way more things than the person who's never left the US.
13:11
SPEAKER_00: Yeah, they pretty much stay in their little town.
13:14
SPEAKER_00: So you've experienced more.
13:17
SPEAKER_00: So with that, now you expect more from your partner to be.
13:22
SPEAKER_00: For sure.
13:22
SPEAKER_00: So yes, we're wanting somebody who is uh uh um emotionally intelligent, uh physically intelligent to uh have a conversation with.
13:33
SPEAKER_02: Yeah.
13:34
SPEAKER_00: Because if you're sitting there talking with someone, then they're just looking at you with this empty blank look in their face, like yeah, they have no clue what I'm talking about.
13:41
SPEAKER_02: Right.
13:42
SPEAKER_02: Yeah.
13:43
SPEAKER_00: Because guys, she's she's not dumb.
13:45
SPEAKER_00: She's smart.
13:47
SPEAKER_00: You see what you're missing out there.
13:51
SPEAKER_01: And if you want to talk to Jasmine, just uh sit send send it send in the comments and we'll pass it on to her.
14:01
SPEAKER_01: Everybody matchmakers now.
14:05
SPEAKER_01: We will screen you though.
14:07
SPEAKER_01: As it should be.
14:09
SPEAKER_02: As it should be.
14:10
SPEAKER_01: Now, if someone is considering moving abroad while single, what would you want them to know?
14:15
SPEAKER_02: Yeah.
14:16
SPEAKER_02: I think one, it's a great decision to make.
14:20
SPEAKER_02: You don't have the responsibilities, um, being not necessarily tethered to someone.
14:27
SPEAKER_02: Um, I would say be open to new opportunities and new experiences.
14:33
SPEAKER_02: Um yeah, it's not gonna be like how it is in the United States or wherever your home country is.
14:39
SPEAKER_02: You have to be open.
14:40
SPEAKER_02: Like they're like I remember the guy that I went on a date with in Ecuador.
14:45
SPEAKER_02: It was, I'm used to like kind of the aggression of American men.
14:49
SPEAKER_02: They're just a little bit more aggressive.
14:51
SPEAKER_02: And it wasn't.
14:52
SPEAKER_02: He's just not that.
14:54
SPEAKER_02: That's not anything wrong.
14:55
SPEAKER_02: It's just culturally, that's just not how he was.
14:58
SPEAKER_02: But on the flip side, I went to Bonnet Hills and met someone else there, and he was like super aggressive.
15:04
SPEAKER_02: And I was like, whoa, well was not wow.
15:07
SPEAKER_02: Like even my friend with me was like, Oh, okay, like chill out.
15:12
SPEAKER_02: You know, where were they from?
15:13
SPEAKER_02: Where was he from?
15:14
SPEAKER_02: Uh from Per He's Persia.
15:18
SPEAKER_02: Oh, okay, okay.
15:19
SPEAKER_02: So it was a little different, and so yeah, so just being open to just new cultures.
15:24
SPEAKER_02: Um, I would say finding a community is really important.
15:28
SPEAKER_02: Yes.
15:28
SPEAKER_02: Um, as a single person.
15:30
SPEAKER_02: I think even as a couple, finding community is important, but like definitely single, like you need people.
15:35
SPEAKER_02: You need people that are trusted, that are gonna look out for you, um, that care about you and your well-being.
15:41
SPEAKER_01: Nice.
15:42
SPEAKER_01: And they need to be adaptable as well to different cultures.
15:45
SPEAKER_01: Yes.
15:46
SPEAKER_01: So what's the most creative way someone has flirted with you in a foreign country?
15:54
SPEAKER_01: Oh my most creative way.
16:00
SPEAKER_01: Let's have the dirt.
16:02
SPEAKER_01: Way.
16:03
SPEAKER_01: Or has uh do you get do they flirt with you?
16:07
SPEAKER_01: And how does that how does that look?
16:09
SPEAKER_01: We want we wanna know.
16:11
SPEAKER_02: We want to make sure this is flirting.
16:14
SPEAKER_02: Flirting.
16:15
SPEAKER_02: Oh, I mean, I guess I'm not very um I don't know.
16:20
SPEAKER_02: I usually don't think someone's flirting with me, so I'm kind of like, what was happening?
16:26
SPEAKER_02: You know, like my friend had to tell me like he likes you, and I was like, oh.
16:30
SPEAKER_02: I was just like, I thought he had a staring problem.
16:32
SPEAKER_02: Why is this man staring at me?
16:33
SPEAKER_02: Like, you know, I can't even think of like, oh, they like me, you know.
16:38
SPEAKER_02: Right, right.
16:38
SPEAKER_02: So what's the most creative?
16:41
SPEAKER_02: So we have the stare.
16:42
SPEAKER_02: The stare, which is creepy, not interesting.
16:48
SPEAKER_02: Um, I would I take dance classes in every city that I go to.
16:52
SPEAKER_02: Nice.
16:52
SPEAKER_02: Um, and so I would say, oh, this isn't okay, this was not creative.
16:57
SPEAKER_02: This was just more so aggressive.
16:59
SPEAKER_02: South Africa, I was in like a market that had different vendors, food vendors, restaurants, um, a DJ.
17:07
SPEAKER_02: I was with my mom and my sister, and I was walking, and again, that stare, that stare down happened, and I was like, even my sister was like, Do you know him?
17:16
SPEAKER_02: I don't know anybody.
17:19
SPEAKER_01: Right, we just got here.
17:20
SPEAKER_02: Yeah, and yeah, he like stared and like literally came in front of me.
17:25
SPEAKER_02: Wow.
17:26
SPEAKER_02: As my mom is here, my sister's on the other side of me and was like, Who are you?
17:31
SPEAKER_02: Where are you from?
17:32
SPEAKER_02: I need to know you right now.
17:34
SPEAKER_02: Wow, that's creative.
17:36
SPEAKER_00: He just threw himself at your favor.
17:38
SPEAKER_02: Wow.
17:39
SPEAKER_02: That's creative.
17:40
SPEAKER_02: I think that's a little too much.
17:42
SPEAKER_02: That man loved him, Jasmine.
17:44
SPEAKER_02: It was too much.
17:45
SPEAKER_02: It was Wow, that's bold.
17:47
SPEAKER_02: Yeah.
17:48
SPEAKER_02: I usually get bold.
17:49
SPEAKER_02: I usually get people who are pretty bold.
17:50
SPEAKER_02: God they're not ashamed.
17:52
SPEAKER_02: They're very secure with who they are.
17:55
SPEAKER_02: Yeah.
17:55
SPEAKER_02: They're very confident, I guess.
17:58
SPEAKER_02: Okay.
17:58
SPEAKER_02: That's usually what I get.
17:59
SPEAKER_01: That's good.
18:00
SPEAKER_01: That's good.
18:01
SPEAKER_01: Now, what's the biggest cultural difference in dating?
18:04
SPEAKER_01: Have you noticed from your home home country?
18:10
SPEAKER_01: Is it the way they uh well, it sounds like the way they approach you.
18:15
SPEAKER_01: They're a little bit more bold.
18:17
SPEAKER_02: Um, I've had other people share this uh about their experiences here.
18:22
SPEAKER_02: Um, I have not had this experience ever, and I pray I never have this experience.
18:27
SPEAKER_02: But a lot of my uh the women I've talked to recently, probably in the last two weeks or so, have said that men have been trying to go Dutch with them and like not like splitting the milk.
18:38
SPEAKER_01: Yeah, yeah, yeah.
18:38
SPEAKER_01: I have never had that.
18:39
SPEAKER_01: We'll never have that.
18:40
SPEAKER_01: Like Right, yeah.
18:41
SPEAKER_01: If you're asking if you if you're being asked for uh to be go on a date, pay for it.
18:47
SPEAKER_01: Absolutely.
18:48
SPEAKER_01: It's especially in we're in Vietnam.
18:50
SPEAKER_01: Right, right, right.
18:52
SPEAKER_02: You know, it's not like we're going to the you know, the Bruce Chris or Nobu, you know, this is a five-dollar meal.
19:00
SPEAKER_02: Right.
19:00
SPEAKER_02: If that.
19:01
SPEAKER_02: If that right.
19:03
SPEAKER_00: So taking you for bowl of is okay.
19:06
SPEAKER_02: I'm I'm not a I am actually not a restaurant girly.
19:10
SPEAKER_02: Like um, I know in the US, that's like a really big deal for women in my age group.
19:15
SPEAKER_02: Um, going to restaurants and having a dude spend a whole bunch of money on them.
19:19
SPEAKER_02: I'm actually not interested in sitting down at a restaurant for the first time meeting someone.
19:24
SPEAKER_02: I would much rather do an activity, either do like a workout class together or go and do something that is active.
19:32
SPEAKER_02: I need to see you in action.
19:33
SPEAKER_02: Right, right.
19:35
SPEAKER_00: Are you listening to this?
19:36
SPEAKER_00: This one's a keeper.
19:40
SPEAKER_02: Oh, I mean, eventually you'll spend it because I love how I travel.
19:44
SPEAKER_02: So I'm like you might not spend it in material things, but experiences, yes.
19:48
SPEAKER_02: Yes.
19:49
SPEAKER_02: But yeah, I I like to see people in action.
19:51
SPEAKER_02: I feel like you can dress you can dress up who you are at a restaurant.
19:55
SPEAKER_02: Oh goodness.
19:56
SPEAKER_02: You know, you can dress up, you can but when you're like struggling to keep up in a pickleball, you know, your true character comes out.
20:05
SPEAKER_02: Like who you are comes out or Right.
20:08
SPEAKER_02: Like, and I want to I would rather see that versus like the cleaned up version of it.
20:12
SPEAKER_02: I would rather see you looking a hot mask.
20:15
SPEAKER_02: Right.
20:15
SPEAKER_02: I want you to see me look a hot mask because this is who I am, you know?
20:18
SPEAKER_02: Yes.
20:18
SPEAKER_02: This is who I that's good.
20:20
SPEAKER_02: That's good.
20:20
SPEAKER_01: I like that.
20:21
SPEAKER_01: I like that.
20:22
SPEAKER_01: The the downer.
20:25
SPEAKER_00: You see what you're missing?
20:27
SPEAKER_01: Okay.
20:28
SPEAKER_01: Here's here's some quickies.
20:30
SPEAKER_01: Coffee date or cocktail date?
20:32
SPEAKER_01: Oh, coffee.
20:33
SPEAKER_01: I don't drink.
20:34
SPEAKER_01: Oh, okay.
20:35
SPEAKER_01: Local or fellow expat?
20:38
SPEAKER_01: I'm open.
20:39
SPEAKER_01: Okay.
20:41
SPEAKER_01: Dating app or chance encounter?
20:43
SPEAKER_01: Chance encounter.
20:45
SPEAKER_01: Romantic city or romantic person?
20:48
SPEAKER_01: Romantic person.
20:50
SPEAKER_01: Okay, that's good.
20:51
SPEAKER_01: Biggest green flag abroad.
20:54
SPEAKER_01: They communicate and they're consistent.
20:57
SPEAKER_01: Oh wow.
20:59
SPEAKER_01: Yeah.
21:00
SPEAKER_01: Hello.
21:02
SPEAKER_01: Okay.
21:03
SPEAKER_01: Now what's your biggest red flag that you've seen abroad?
21:07
SPEAKER_01: Trying to meet up at 10 o'clock at night.
21:10
SPEAKER_00: Red flag.
21:11
SPEAKER_01: Red flag.
21:12
SPEAKER_00: You know what that one is.
21:15
SPEAKER_01: Okay.
21:15
SPEAKER_01: Now this would if you could create a warning sign for people thinking about being single and traveling abroad, what would that sign say?
21:24
SPEAKER_01: Let me repeat it.
21:25
SPEAKER_01: If you could create a warning sign for people thinking about being single and traveling abroad, what would that sign say?
21:33
SPEAKER_02: Not everything that glitters is gold.
21:36
SPEAKER_01: Yeah.
21:36
SPEAKER_02: Yeah.
21:37
SPEAKER_01: Yeah.
21:38
SPEAKER_02: Yeah.
21:39
SPEAKER_01: That's good.
21:40
SPEAKER_02: Yeah.
21:40
SPEAKER_02: I think we have to recognize that people are coming around the world from all different types of walks of life, and I've experienced that here.
21:49
SPEAKER_02: Um people just bring their stuff.
21:52
SPEAKER_02: And sometimes that stuff is not something that I would have ever I would have probably never even been in a in a the Atmosphere of someone who is living a lifestyle like that.
22:03
SPEAKER_02: Right.
22:04
SPEAKER_02: Um, and so I just think, yeah, just being mindful that people are coming.
22:08
SPEAKER_02: You don't know why people are coming.
22:09
SPEAKER_02: I mean, people are coming because they're refugees, they're leaving their home country, they have to flee.
22:13
SPEAKER_02: Right.
22:14
SPEAKER_02: People are coming because they're retired, people are coming because they couldn't afford their home country.
22:17
SPEAKER_02: I mean, there's so many different um just different ways that people have been brought to whatever country it is.
22:24
SPEAKER_02: And so I would just say just be mindful that, like, yeah, it could look all great, but yeah, not everything.
22:30
SPEAKER_02: Right.
22:30
SPEAKER_02: It is what yeah, not everything that you see is what it is.
22:34
SPEAKER_01: Exactly.
22:35
SPEAKER_01: Exactly.
22:36
SPEAKER_01: So be prepared for glitz and glamour.
22:41
SPEAKER_01: Or not.
22:41
SPEAKER_02: Or not.
22:42
SPEAKER_01: Yes.
22:43
SPEAKER_01: Absolutely.
22:44
SPEAKER_01: Right, right.
22:45
SPEAKER_01: Absolutely.
22:45
SPEAKER_01: Because as you said, there's a a lot of videos, and people watch a lot of videos, and they'll say, Oh, you can live here for$300 a month.
22:54
SPEAKER_01: And not true.
22:56
SPEAKER_01: You'll be in the roughest town, in the hostel, not even in the park, but they'll sh they'll show that you can live in an apartment.
23:03
SPEAKER_01: Yeah.
23:03
SPEAKER_01: And it's it's not that at all.
23:05
SPEAKER_00: And you're sharing a bed with a guy named Bob from Australia.
23:10
SPEAKER_01: So, yeah, so you really have to have to be that's good.
23:13
SPEAKER_01: You have to really be careful.
23:14
SPEAKER_01: So, what's the funniest assumption people make when they find find out that you're single and living abroad?
23:21
SPEAKER_01: What's the funniest assumption they make?
23:24
SPEAKER_01: Oh, assumption.
23:25
SPEAKER_01: Ums that they they they make that they be off always.
23:31
SPEAKER_02: Why are you single?
23:32
SPEAKER_02: That's in the US too.
23:33
SPEAKER_02: Why are you single?
23:35
SPEAKER_02: Yeah.
23:35
SPEAKER_02: That's yeah, the biggest assumption.
23:38
SPEAKER_00: Do you ever wonder why people ask you that?
23:41
SPEAKER_02: Um, I mean, I get it.
23:43
SPEAKER_02: I'm a great catch.
23:44
SPEAKER_02: So I get I get why people ask that.
23:46
SPEAKER_02: Well, I don't know.
23:48
SPEAKER_01: She knows her worth, she knows her value, and she knows that she's a queen.
23:54
SPEAKER_02: Yeah, absolutely.
23:55
SPEAKER_02: So, yeah.
23:56
SPEAKER_00: So I'm gonna ask you a difficult question.
24:00
SPEAKER_00: What do you look for in that?
24:03
SPEAKER_00: I'm not gonna say ideal man, but in a guy that you think you'd want to spend a long time with?
24:10
SPEAKER_00: What do you look for?
24:11
SPEAKER_02: Yeah.
24:13
SPEAKER_02: Um, so first his relationship with Christ, like not just being a Christian, because I feel like people say they're a Christian all the time, but like what does the fruit look like?
24:22
SPEAKER_02: Like what does your everyday walk look like when people aren't looking, right?
24:26
SPEAKER_02: Do you have integrity?
24:28
SPEAKER_02: What is your character?
24:29
SPEAKER_02: Do I like your character?
24:31
SPEAKER_02: You know?
24:31
SPEAKER_02: Yeah.
24:32
SPEAKER_02: Um does he like himself without anybody, without the job, without any of that?
24:39
SPEAKER_02: Like, does he truly like himself and does he enjoy that person?
24:43
SPEAKER_02: Because I've I've definitely dealt with people who have all the boxes checked out, but they do not like themselves, and that is gonna impact how you treat me.
24:53
SPEAKER_01: Yeah, that's that is key.
24:55
SPEAKER_01: Yes.
24:55
SPEAKER_02: Because how come you love someone else if you're not yourself?
24:59
SPEAKER_02: Exactly.
25:00
SPEAKER_02: Yeah.
25:01
SPEAKER_02: Um, so communication, effort, uh, and then play.
25:06
SPEAKER_02: I am a goofy person.
25:08
SPEAKER_02: I like to have fun, I'm always like trying new things, and so that person's willingness to show that they also like new things and want to try new things with me.
25:19
SPEAKER_02: Um, I don't like a boring person.
25:21
SPEAKER_02: No, like I can't can't do it.
25:23
SPEAKER_02: So yeah.
25:25
SPEAKER_00: So in many podcasts, we have said these things of what some women want.
25:32
SPEAKER_00: And you've just summed it up very simply, and nowhere in there did she say she wanted the guy 6'5 making five hundred thousand dollars a year.
25:44
SPEAKER_00: This is real expectation.
25:47
SPEAKER_00: Yeah, sum my hat off to you, sweetheart.
25:50
SPEAKER_01: And guys, if you had there listening, you're messing up because this one here, ooh, and if you want to get to know Jasmine, hit us up in the comment section and we'll pass it on.
26:08
SPEAKER_01: So here's a question.
26:11
SPEAKER_01: What's more challenging finding a good Wi-Fi or finding a good date?
26:16
SPEAKER_01: Oh, finding a good date.
26:18
SPEAKER_01: Wi-Fi is everywhere.
26:20
SPEAKER_02: It's finding a good date.
26:21
SPEAKER_02: Yeah, finding, yeah, I feel like I don't know, people don't always want to just have fun and just like enjoy someone else's company.
26:29
SPEAKER_02: It's either this like high stakes pressure experience, or they have like their intent is terrible.
26:37
SPEAKER_02: So, like if you have poor intent, like that's not a good date to me, you know.
26:41
SPEAKER_02: Like, I like I am a single person, so safety is important.
26:45
SPEAKER_02: Yes, like who you are, like how you carry yourself.
26:49
SPEAKER_02: Do you care about your well-being?
26:51
SPEAKER_02: Do you care about my well-being?
26:52
SPEAKER_02: Right.
26:52
SPEAKER_02: So, and you can tell that like right off the bat.
26:55
SPEAKER_02: Like, that's within the first, I would say, time meeting a person.
26:59
SPEAKER_02: You and you you can figure that type of stuff out.
27:02
SPEAKER_02: So I think it's I think to find someone who's like considerate and also wants to have fun, but also is mindful of your safety.
27:10
SPEAKER_02: Um that's good.
27:11
SPEAKER_02: Yeah, that is that is challenging to find that.
27:14
SPEAKER_02: Yes, yes I don't I don't think people care, but I don't know.
27:16
SPEAKER_02: I don't know if it's because people are transactional, but it just seems like people don't care about the other person's feelings or their well-being.
27:24
SPEAKER_02: Yeah, now you find that more in in your home country or more honestly, yeah.
27:31
SPEAKER_02: I think that's that's I I don't know.
27:33
SPEAKER_02: I feel like this this sorry, this wave of um this generation of men, I don't know, I don't know, it just seems very different.
27:44
SPEAKER_01: Wow.
27:44
SPEAKER_01: Yeah.
27:44
SPEAKER_01: So that's another thing that people coming uh abroad single should look out for too.
27:50
SPEAKER_01: Don't take everything they say to face value.
27:54
SPEAKER_02: Absolutely, absolutely.
27:55
SPEAKER_02: And I've I've had friends who were from the UK, friends from the Middle East, and they've all shared the same sentiments with people, with men within my age group.
28:06
SPEAKER_02: Wow.
28:07
SPEAKER_00: Professor, do you have any questions?
28:08
SPEAKER_00: So just because he's buff walking along the beach doesn't make him an ideal catch, is that right?
28:13
SPEAKER_02: No, I mean that looks fade.
28:17
SPEAKER_00: And what did I say?
28:19
SPEAKER_00: I said it was what just duty has a saying, beauty fades, but dumb is forever.
28:24
SPEAKER_02: It's forever.
28:26
SPEAKER_01: You can't change dumb.
28:27
SPEAKER_01: No, no, you know, and the other thing is, yeah, well, I'll say it, but uh go in it.
28:33
SPEAKER_01: Do you have any questions for us?
28:36
SPEAKER_00: So as uh your time here, if you were to meet somebody tomorrow, would you be willing to work at it?
28:47
SPEAKER_00: And is long distance relationship something that you're willing to work at?
28:51
SPEAKER_01: Yeah, absolutely.
28:52
SPEAKER_00: Okay.
28:53
SPEAKER_01: Or if you met someone in whatever country you're gonna be in, Miss World Traveler, would you be willing to, if you met someone that you were driving with, would you stay in that country longer to get to know that person?
29:11
SPEAKER_01: Or if you had let's say you had an uh schedule to be gone three weeks from the time you met that person, would you change your would you change your schedule?
29:21
SPEAKER_02: Oh, that's a great question.
29:23
SPEAKER_02: Hey, he would it would have to like really make sense.
29:26
SPEAKER_02: Cause yeah, I have like I have some things on the calendar and it would it would have to make it a lot of sense.
29:34
SPEAKER_02: And a lot of the men that I've experienced it didn't make sense.
29:38
SPEAKER_01: So they weren't they weren't worthy of scheduling.
29:43
SPEAKER_01: No.
29:45
SPEAKER_00: So let's just make this clear.
29:48
SPEAKER_00: She's beautiful, she has a smile that will knock your socks off.
29:53
SPEAKER_00: She's smart, she's intelligent, thank you, and she is emotionally available.
29:59
SPEAKER_00: So if you idiots out there, let this one go.
30:03
SPEAKER_01: I I have one more question I want to pose before I turn it over to uh Professor.
30:10
SPEAKER_01: So is being single abroad something you're surviving, enjoying, or actually thriving in?
30:19
SPEAKER_02: Yeah, that's a great question.
30:21
SPEAKER_02: I think I'm thriving in it.
30:23
SPEAKER_02: I really I like me.
30:25
SPEAKER_02: I like myself, I like my company.
30:28
SPEAKER_02: Um I like the freedom that I have that I experience in the United States, but there's just like another level.
30:37
SPEAKER_02: Yes.
30:37
SPEAKER_02: You are in a place where you just can kind of rest your shoulders and just be yourself.
30:43
SPEAKER_02: I love this version of myself.
30:45
SPEAKER_02: And so I want to keep that version of Jasmine for forever.
30:50
SPEAKER_02: And then I also uh if I do meet someone, I want him to like also enjoy this version of Jasmine, you know, and it adds to it.
31:01
SPEAKER_02: Add to it, exactly.
31:04
SPEAKER_01: Yeah, absolutely.
31:05
SPEAKER_01: And and that's what that's what a healthy relationship, that that's how it starts.
31:09
SPEAKER_01: You have to compliment each other each other and have some similarities with um um experience and uh future experiences, you know, that you both want to strive towards.
31:22
SPEAKER_01: Yeah.
31:23
SPEAKER_01: So that's good, that's good.
31:25
SPEAKER_01: So Jasmine, before I hand it, because if I hand it to Professor, I will not get this mic back.
31:32
SPEAKER_01: We want to thank you so much for for accepting an invitation and sharing with our listeners what it's like being single abroad.
31:43
SPEAKER_01: Absolutely.
31:43
SPEAKER_01: And there's so many, so many uh young people as yourself who are experiencing that more and more, who want to and who and those in a place where they can experience it, but just love hearing about the experiences from their peers.
31:59
SPEAKER_01: Right.
31:59
SPEAKER_01: So we just thank you and we hope this and we know it's gonna help our listeners.
32:03
SPEAKER_01: And if you have any uh suggestions or or comments, just you can find us at relationship coachinggroup.com where you can leave comments or suggestions or names and numbers that we can pass on to Jasmine.
32:19
SPEAKER_01: Nothing, I have to I have to slide that in.
32:22
SPEAKER_01: So we would love to hear from you.
32:25
SPEAKER_01: And now I will turn it over to Professor.
32:29
SPEAKER_00: So if any of you send your uh links for Jasmine, trust me, it's going to be vetted.
32:36
SPEAKER_00: We're doing background checks and everything.
32:39
SPEAKER_00: Oh credit checks, too.
32:40
SPEAKER_00: We are not passing on anyone that's not worthy.
32:45
SPEAKER_00: But Jasmine, thank you for being here.
32:48
SPEAKER_00: Thank you for sharing with us.
32:50
SPEAKER_00: We have thoroughly enjoyed it.
32:52
SPEAKER_01: So much fun.
32:54
SPEAKER_00: Yeah.
32:54
SPEAKER_00: And hearing you talk about it and having you here, it just validates what we say all the time.
33:02
SPEAKER_00: You gotta find someone that compliments you.
33:05
SPEAKER_00: You have to love yourself before you can love somebody else.
33:08
SPEAKER_00: Yeah, and you've just validated all of that.
33:10
SPEAKER_00: And we are so honored to have you here and thank you.
33:15
SPEAKER_00: And before closing out, one more thing.
33:18
SPEAKER_01: One more thing.
33:19
SPEAKER_01: Just like Jasmine, you have to be comfortable in your own skin.
33:24
SPEAKER_01: You have to love yourself, you have to be comfortable knowing that you can take care of yourself and survive in a different cult culture.
33:34
SPEAKER_01: Be willing to accept changes, be willing to adapt.
33:38
SPEAKER_01: And I think she she laid out a whole platform for you to be aware of if you want to take that challenge and experience other countries.
33:48
SPEAKER_01: So thanks again.
33:49
SPEAKER_00: You gotta take that leap and you gotta trust in yourself.
33:55
SPEAKER_00: And thank you.
33:56
SPEAKER_00: Thank you to our awesome listeners.
33:58
SPEAKER_01: Thank you, Jasmine, again for joining us.
34:01
SPEAKER_01: Yes, thank you for the opportunity.
34:03
SPEAKER_00: Any last words?
34:05
SPEAKER_02: Um I would say go see some world, go see some earth.
34:10
SPEAKER_00: Yeah, go see it.
34:12
SPEAKER_02: Single as that.
34:13
SPEAKER_02: That's it.
34:14
SPEAKER_01: Single as that, yeah.
34:15
SPEAKER_00: So much love and blessings from us all here.
34:18
SPEAKER_00: And we will see you next time.
34:20
SPEAKER_00: You want to close this out?
34:21
SPEAKER_00: You want me to close you out?
34:23
SPEAKER_00: Sure.
34:23
SPEAKER_00: I've got the privileges of closing it.
34:25
SPEAKER_00: I never get this privilege.
34:27
SPEAKER_00: We have it now.
34:28
SPEAKER_00: So good.
34:28
SPEAKER_00: Wow, okay.
34:30
SPEAKER_00: Well, thank you to our listeners.
34:31
SPEAKER_01: Thank you, listeners.
34:33
SPEAKER_00: And uh, we will catch you next time from all of us here.
34:37
SPEAKER_00: We love you.
34:38
SPEAKER_00: Thank you for your support and continued support.
34:42
SPEAKER_00: Have a good one.
34:43
SPEAKER_00: Remember, we got you.
34:45
SPEAKER_00: We got you.