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Being There - The First Three Years Don’t Come With A Redo Button. · Other Peoples Parenting

• 0:00
  Welcome
• 0:00
  back
• 0:00
  to
• 0:01
  another
• 0:01
  episode
• 0:01
  of
• 0:02
  Other
• 0:02
  People's
• 0:02
  Parenting,
• 0:03
  where
• 0:03
  we
• 0:04
  read
• 0:04
  parenting
• 0:05
  books
• 0:05
  and
• 0:05
  review
• 0:05
  them
• 0:05
  for
• 0:06
  you.
• 0:06
  I
• 0:06
  am
• 0:07
  Skylar
• 0:07
  Hurwitz,
• 0:08
  amateur
• 0:08
  parent.
• 0:08
  And
• 0:09
  this
• 0:09
  is
• 0:09
  my
• 0:10
  mom,
• 0:10
  Karen
• 0:11
  Quinn,
• 0:11
  New
• 0:12
  York
• 0:12
  Times
• 0:12
  best
• 0:12
  selling
• 0:13
  author
• 0:13
  and
• 0:13
  founder
• 0:14
  of
• 0:14
  Habit
• 0:14
  Coach
• 0:14
  and
• 0:15
  Testing
• 0:15
  Mom.
• 0:15
  Hello,
• 0:16
  Mom.
• 0:16
  Hi,
• 0:17
  Skylar.
• 0:17
  How
• 0:18
  are
• 0:18
  you
• 0:18
  doing?
• 0:18
  I'm
• 0:19
  great.
• 0:19
  I'm
• 0:19
  great.
• 0:19
  I'm
• 0:20
  excited
• 0:20
  to
• 0:20
  be
• 0:21
  doing
• 0:21
  this
• 0:21
  book
• 0:21
  today.
• 0:22
  Which
• 0:22
  book
• 0:22
  are
• 0:22
  we
• 0:23
  doing?
• 0:23
  We
• 0:23
  are
• 0:24
  doing
• 0:24
  Being
• 0:25
  There.
• 0:26
  Why
• 0:26
  Motherhood
• 0:27
  Is.
• 0:28
  Oh,
• 0:28
  no.
• 0:28
  Why
• 0:29
  Prioritizing
• 0:30
  Motherhood
• 0:31
  in
• 0:31
  the
• 0:31
  First
• 0:31
  Three
• 0:32
  Years
• 0:32
  Matters,
• 0:33
  by
• 0:33
  Eric
• 0:35
  Commissar.
• 0:36
  Erica,
• 0:36
  it's
• 0:37
  a
• 0:37
  lady.
• 0:37
  Oh,
• 0:38
  you're
• 0:38
  right,
• 0:38
  Erica.
• 0:39
  That's
• 0:39
  okay.
• 0:39
  I'm
• 0:39
  really,
• 0:39
  like,
• 0:40
  not
• 0:40
  able
• 0:40
  to
• 0:40
  read
• 0:41
  backwards.
• 0:41
  Like,
• 0:41
  I'm
• 0:42
  trying
• 0:42
  to
• 0:42
  read
• 0:42
  this
• 0:42
  this
• 0:42
  way.
• 0:43
  You're
• 0:43
  reading
• 0:43
  it
• 0:43
  backwards.
• 0:45
  I'm
• 0:46
  trying
• 0:46
  to,
• 0:46
  like,
• 0:46
  go
• 0:46
  around
• 0:47
  it.
• 0:47
  Anyway,
• 0:47
  Erica
• 0:48
  Commissar,
• 0:48
  lcsw.
• 0:50
  That
• 0:50
  stand
• 0:50
  for.
• 0:51
  I
• 0:51
  don't
• 0:51
  know,
• 0:52
  it's
• 0:52
  some
• 0:52
  kind
• 0:52
  of,
• 0:53
  like,
• 0:53
  social
• 0:53
  worker,
• 0:54
  I
• 0:54
  think.
• 0:54
  I
• 0:55
  think.
• 0:55
  Yeah,
• 0:55
  but
• 0:56
  licensed
• 0:57
  social.
• 0:58
  Something
• 0:58
  social.
• 0:59
  I
• 0:59
  don't
• 0:59
  know.
• 0:59
  But
• 1:00
  she
• 1:00
  is
• 1:00
  a
• 1:00
  therapist.
• 1:01
  I
• 1:01
  know
• 1:01
  that.
• 1:02
  Yeah,
• 1:02
  I
• 1:02
  know
• 1:02
  that.
• 1:03
  From
• 1:03
  reading
• 1:03
  the
• 1:03
  book.
• 1:03
  From
• 1:04
  reading
• 1:04
  the
• 1:04
  book.
• 1:04
  We
• 1:05
  know
• 1:05
  she's
• 1:05
  a
• 1:05
  therapist.
• 1:05
  He
• 1:06
  is
• 1:06
  a
• 1:06
  therapist.
• 1:06
  Yes.
• 1:07
  Anyway,
• 1:07
  here
• 1:07
  she
• 1:07
  is.
• 1:07
  Here
• 1:08
  she
• 1:08
  is.
• 1:08
  We
• 1:09
  had
• 1:09
  pretty
• 1:09
  vastly
• 1:10
  different
• 1:10
  interpretations
• 1:11
  of
• 1:12
  this
• 1:12
  book.
• 1:13
  You
• 1:13
  seem
• 1:14
  to
• 1:14
  take
• 1:14
  this
• 1:14
  book
• 1:15
  rather
• 1:15
  personally.
• 1:16
  I
• 1:16
  did.
• 1:17
  I
• 1:17
  didn't.
• 1:17
  We'll
• 1:18
  go
• 1:18
  through
• 1:18
  it.
• 1:19
  We'll
• 1:19
  tell
• 1:19
  the
• 1:20
  people
• 1:20
  what's
• 1:21
  in
• 1:21
  it.
• 1:21
  Let
• 1:22
  them
• 1:22
  come
• 1:22
  to
• 1:22
  their
• 1:22
  own
• 1:23
  conclusions.
• 1:24
  I
• 1:24
  will
• 1:24
  try
• 1:24
  not
• 1:25
  to
• 1:25
  blurt
• 1:25
  out
• 1:25
  too
• 1:26
  much
• 1:27
  about
• 1:27
  my
• 1:28
  dissatisfaction
• 1:29
  with
• 1:29
  this
• 1:30
  book,
• 1:30
  but.
• 1:31
  Yes.
• 1:31
  And
• 1:32
  I
• 1:32
  know
• 1:32
  you
• 1:32
  had
• 1:33
  a
• 1:33
  different
• 1:33
  take,
• 1:33
  but
• 1:34
  I
• 1:34
  don't
• 1:34
  know
• 1:34
  what
• 1:34
  that
• 1:34
  is.
• 1:35
  Cause
• 1:35
  you
• 1:35
  wouldn't
• 1:35
  tell
• 1:35
  me
• 1:36
  until.
• 1:36
  Well,
• 1:36
  yeah.
• 1:36
  Cause
• 1:37
  we're
• 1:37
  saving
• 1:37
  it
• 1:37
  for
• 1:37
  the
• 1:37
  pod.
• 1:38
  Right?
• 1:38
  From
• 1:39
  now
• 1:39
  on,
• 1:39
  we
• 1:39
  only
• 1:40
  talk
• 1:40
  on
• 1:40
  this
• 1:40
  podcast.
• 1:41
  Okay,
• 1:42
  well,
• 1:42
  can
• 1:42
  we
• 1:42
  talk
• 1:42
  between.
• 1:43
  About
• 1:43
  other
• 1:43
  things?
• 1:44
  Yeah.
• 1:44
  Okay.
• 1:45
  But
• 1:45
  not
• 1:45
  about
• 1:45
  the
• 1:46
  books.
• 1:46
  Yes.
• 1:47
  Not
• 1:47
  about
• 1:47
  the
• 1:47
  books.
• 1:47
  The
• 1:47
  books.
• 1:48
  Books
• 1:48
  are
• 1:48
  for
• 1:48
  the
• 1:48
  pod.
• 1:48
  Okay.
• 1:49
  All
• 1:49
  right,
• 1:49
  I
• 1:49
  get
• 1:49
  it.
• 1:50
  Which
• 1:50
  is
• 1:50
  hard.
• 1:50
  Cause
• 1:50
  we
• 1:50
  talk
• 1:51
  a
• 1:51
  lot.
• 1:51
  I
• 1:51
  know.
• 1:52
  It's
• 1:52
  true.
• 1:54
  Anyway,
• 1:56
  jump
• 1:56
  right
• 1:56
  in
• 1:56
  today.
• 1:57
  Why
• 1:57
  not?
• 1:58
  Why
• 1:58
  not?
• 1:59
  Why
• 1:59
  not?
• 1:59
  Okay.
• 2:00
  Why
• 2:00
  not
• 2:00
  us?
• 2:00
  Let's
• 2:01
  do
• 2:01
  it.
• 2:02
  So,
• 2:02
  being
• 2:02
  there
• 2:03
  personally,
• 2:05
  I
• 2:05
  actually
• 2:05
  found
• 2:05
  this
• 2:06
  book
• 2:06
  interesting.
• 2:06
  And
• 2:07
  it
• 2:07
  gave
• 2:07
  me
• 2:08
  some
• 2:08
  ideas
• 2:09
  about
• 2:09
  adjustments
• 2:10
  I
• 2:10
  can
• 2:10
  make
• 2:10
  in
• 2:11
  my
• 2:11
  life
• 2:11
  to
• 2:12
  be
• 2:13
  as
• 2:13
  present
• 2:14
  for
• 2:14
  my
• 2:15
  baby
• 2:15
  as
• 2:15
  I
• 2:16
  can
• 2:16
  be
• 2:17
  while
• 2:17
  also
• 2:18
  having
• 2:19
  a
• 2:19
  job.
• 2:20
  And
• 2:20
  I
• 2:20
  have
• 2:20
  a
• 2:21
  feeling
• 2:21
  you
• 2:22
  took
• 2:22
  it
• 2:22
  personally
• 2:23
  because
• 2:23
  there
• 2:23
  is.
• 2:24
  You
• 2:24
  can't
• 2:24
  turn
• 2:24
  back
• 2:25
  time.
• 2:26
  You
• 2:26
  can't
• 2:27
  go
• 2:27
  back
• 2:27
  and
• 2:28
  spend
• 2:28
  more
• 2:28
  time
• 2:29
  with
• 2:29
  me
• 2:30
  as
• 2:30
  a
• 2:30
  baby.
• 2:32
  But
• 2:32
  that
• 2:32
  said,
• 2:33
  again,
• 2:33
  there's
• 2:33
  a
• 2:33
  balance
• 2:34
  to
• 2:34
  be
• 2:34
  struck.
• 2:34
  Right?
• 2:36
  So
• 2:37
  a
• 2:38
  must
• 2:38
  read
• 2:39
  for
• 2:39
  young
• 2:40
  Women
• 2:40
  struggling
• 2:41
  with
• 2:41
  the
• 2:41
  inner
• 2:41
  conflict
• 2:42
  between
• 2:42
  mothering
• 2:43
  and
• 2:43
  career
• 2:43
  making.
• 2:44
  According
• 2:44
  to
• 2:45
  the.
• 2:45
  Gail
• 2:46
  Sheehy.
• 2:46
  Gail
• 2:47
  Sheehy,
• 2:47
  whoever
• 2:48
  she
• 2:48
  is.
• 2:48
  I
• 2:48
  know
• 2:49
  who
• 2:49
  she
• 2:49
  is.
• 2:49
  Who
• 2:50
  is
• 2:50
  she?
• 2:50
  My
• 2:50
  generation
• 2:51
  knows
• 2:51
  who
• 2:52
  she
• 2:52
  is.
• 2:52
  Who
• 2:53
  is
• 2:53
  she?
• 2:54
  She
• 2:54
  is
• 2:54
  an
• 2:54
  author
• 2:55
  of
• 2:56
  self
• 2:56
  help
• 2:56
  books.
• 2:57
  Like
• 2:58
  what?
• 2:58
  For
• 2:58
  Women.
• 2:59
  Oh,
• 2:59
  God,
• 3:00
  I
• 3:00
  forgot
• 3:00
  the
• 3:00
  name
• 3:01
  of
• 3:01
  her
• 3:01
  book,
• 3:01
  but
• 3:01
  I
• 3:02
  read
• 3:02
  it
• 3:02
  years
• 3:02
  ago.
• 3:03
  Like
• 3:03
  all
• 3:04
  the
• 3:04
  different
• 3:04
  stages
• 3:04
  you
• 3:05
  go
• 3:05
  through
• 3:05
  in
• 3:05
  life.
• 3:06
  So,
• 3:07
  yeah,
• 3:07
  she's
• 3:08
  a
• 3:08
  very
• 3:08
  well
• 3:08
  known
• 3:08
  author.
• 3:09
  She's
• 3:09
  good.
• 3:10
  Good
• 3:10
  for
• 3:10
  her.
• 3:10
  Yeah.
• 3:11
  And
• 3:11
  then
• 3:11
  the
• 3:12
  next
• 3:12
  one,
• 3:12
  Dr.
• 3:12
  Ellen
• 3:13
  Jacobs.
• 3:14
  Who?
• 3:14
  Do
• 3:14
  you
• 3:15
  know
• 3:15
  her
• 3:15
  too?
• 3:15
  No,
• 3:17
  I'm
• 3:17
  like,
• 3:17
  you
• 3:18
  seem
• 3:18
  to
• 3:18
  know
• 3:18
  all
• 3:18
  these
• 3:18
  people,
• 3:19
  Gail
• 3:19
  sheehy,
• 3:20
  but
• 3:20
  not
• 3:21
  Dr.
• 3:21
  Ellen
• 3:22
  Jacobs.
• 3:22
  Yeah.
• 3:23
  This
• 3:23
  book
• 3:23
  also
• 3:23
  felt
• 3:24
  to
• 3:24
  me
• 3:24
  like
• 3:24
  the
• 3:25
  defense
• 3:25
  of
• 3:25
  a
• 3:25
  thesis.
• 3:26
  It
• 3:26
  felt
• 3:27
  more
• 3:28
  like
• 3:28
  there
• 3:28
  wasn't.
• 3:29
  She
• 3:29
  kept
• 3:29
  saying,
• 3:30
  you
• 3:31
  know,
• 3:31
  here
• 3:31
  are
• 3:31
  some
• 3:32
  things
• 3:32
  you
• 3:32
  can
• 3:32
  do
• 3:32
  if
• 3:32
  you
• 3:33
  can't
• 3:33
  be
• 3:33
  home
• 3:34
  all
• 3:34
  three
• 3:34
  years.
• 3:34
  Right.
• 3:35
  And
• 3:35
  then
• 3:35
  it
• 3:35
  was
• 3:35
  like
• 3:35
  a
• 3:35
  one
• 3:36
  sentence
• 3:36
  mention
• 3:37
  at
• 3:37
  the
• 3:37
  very
• 3:37
  end
• 3:37
  of
• 3:37
  the
• 3:38
  book,
• 3:38
  whereas
• 3:38
  the
• 3:39
  rest
• 3:39
  of
• 3:39
  it
• 3:39
  was
• 3:39
  like,
• 3:40
  clearly,
• 3:40
  okay.
• 3:40
  She
• 3:41
  has
• 3:41
  this
• 3:41
  thesis
• 3:42
  and
• 3:42
  this
• 3:42
  is
• 3:43
  her
• 3:43
  book
• 3:43
  defending
• 3:44
  it.
• 3:44
  Her
• 3:45
  thesis
• 3:45
  is,
• 3:46
  and
• 3:46
  this
• 3:46
  is
• 3:47
  just
• 3:47
  a
• 3:47
  quote,
• 3:48
  it
• 3:48
  is
• 3:48
  my
• 3:49
  belief
• 3:49
  that
• 3:49
  it
• 3:49
  is
• 3:50
  best
• 3:50
  for
• 3:50
  a
• 3:50
  child
• 3:51
  to
• 3:51
  have
• 3:51
  his
• 3:51
  mother
• 3:52
  as
• 3:52
  his
• 3:52
  primary
• 3:52
  caregiver
• 3:53
  and
• 3:53
  for
• 3:54
  her
• 3:54
  to
• 3:54
  be
• 3:55
  emotionally
• 3:55
  and
• 3:56
  physically
• 3:56
  present
• 3:57
  for
• 3:57
  as
• 3:57
  much
• 3:58
  of
• 3:59
  the
• 3:59
  first
• 3:59
  three
• 3:59
  years
• 4:00
  as
• 4:00
  possible.
• 4:01
  That's
• 4:01
  essentially
• 4:02
  her
• 4:02
  thesis
• 4:03
  is
• 4:03
  that
• 4:03
  it
• 4:03
  should
• 4:04
  be
• 4:04
  the
• 4:04
  mother
• 4:04
  staying
• 4:05
  home
• 4:05
  with
• 4:05
  the
• 4:05
  child,
• 4:06
  focusing
• 4:07
  on
• 4:07
  the
• 4:07
  child
• 4:07
  being
• 4:08
  emotionally
• 4:08
  present
• 4:09
  for
• 4:09
  the
• 4:09
  first
• 4:09
  three
• 4:10
  years.
• 4:11
  And
• 4:12
  the
• 4:12
  father
• 4:13
  really
• 4:13
  shouldn't
• 4:14
  be
• 4:14
  the
• 4:14
  father.
• 4:14
  The
• 4:15
  father
• 4:15
  is
• 4:15
  barely
• 4:15
  mentioned.
• 4:17
  Or
• 4:17
  the
• 4:17
  grandmother
• 4:18
  or.
• 4:18
  It's
• 4:18
  as
• 4:19
  if
• 4:19
  he's
• 4:19
  not
• 4:19
  even
• 4:19
  there.
• 4:20
  Well,
• 4:20
  it's
• 4:20
  like
• 4:21
  he's
• 4:21
  okay,
• 4:21
  but
• 4:22
  he's
• 4:22
  clearly
• 4:23
  second
• 4:24
  choice
• 4:24
  far
• 4:25
  beyond,
• 4:25
  you
• 4:26
  know,
• 4:26
  before
• 4:26
  the
• 4:27
  mother.
• 4:27
  And
• 4:28
  if
• 4:28
  you
• 4:28
  guys
• 4:28
  are
• 4:28
  watching
• 4:29
  the
• 4:29
  Kardashians,
• 4:30
  this
• 4:30
  is
• 4:30
  the
• 4:30
  doctor
• 4:31
  that
• 4:31
  Kourtney
• 4:31
  Kardashian
• 4:32
  brought
• 4:32
  on,
• 4:34
  I
• 4:34
  guess,
• 4:34
  to
• 4:35
  like
• 4:35
  shame
• 4:35
  her
• 4:35
  friends
• 4:36
  into
• 4:36
  being
• 4:36
  more
• 4:37
  present
• 4:37
  mother.
• 4:38
  Right.
• 4:38
  She
• 4:39
  came
• 4:39
  on
• 4:39
  and
• 4:40
  Courtney's
• 4:40
  like,
• 4:40
  Courtney's
• 4:41
  all,
• 4:41
  you
• 4:41
  know,
• 4:42
  her
• 4:42
  sisters
• 4:42
  are
• 4:42
  mad
• 4:43
  at
• 4:43
  her
• 4:43
  cause
• 4:43
  you
• 4:43
  don't
• 4:44
  watch.
• 4:44
  So
• 4:44
  her
• 4:45
  sisters
• 4:45
  are
• 4:45
  kind
• 4:45
  of
• 4:45
  mad
• 4:46
  at
• 4:46
  her
• 4:46
  cause
• 4:46
  she's
• 4:46
  very
• 4:47
  like,
• 4:47
  oh,
• 4:48
  staying
• 4:48
  home
• 4:48
  with
• 4:48
  the
• 4:49
  baby
• 4:49
  is
• 4:49
  the
• 4:49
  best
• 4:50
  thing.
• 4:50
  It's
• 4:50
  the
• 4:50
  most.
• 4:50
  And
• 4:51
  you
• 4:51
  two
• 4:51
  work,
• 4:52
  you
• 4:52
  know,
• 4:52
  and
• 4:53
  that's
• 4:53
  good.
• 4:54
  And
• 4:54
  they're
• 4:54
  like
• 4:54
  pissed
• 4:54
  off
• 4:55
  because,
• 4:55
  like,
• 4:56
  they're
• 4:56
  working.
• 4:57
  They're
• 4:57
  working.
• 4:58
  So
• 4:58
  Courtney
• 4:58
  doesn't
• 4:59
  have
• 4:59
  to.
• 4:59
  Courtney
• 5:00
  has
• 5:00
  to
• 5:00
  work
• 5:01
  and
• 5:01
  they
• 5:01
  have
• 5:02
  the
• 5:02
  show
• 5:03
  and
• 5:04
  Courtney
• 5:04
  stays
• 5:04
  home
• 5:05
  and
• 5:05
  she
• 5:05
  thinks
• 5:06
  that's
• 5:06
  the
• 5:06
  better
• 5:06
  choice.
• 5:07
  And
• 5:07
  then
• 5:08
  she
• 5:08
  brought
• 5:08
  on
• 5:09
  Erica
• 5:10
  Commissar
• 5:11
  to
• 5:12
  like
• 5:12
  validate
• 5:13
  that
• 5:13
  Choice
• 5:13
  with
• 5:13
  all
• 5:13
  of
• 5:14
  her
• 5:14
  friends,
• 5:14
  her
• 5:14
  mom's
• 5:15
  group.
• 5:16
  And
• 5:16
  so,
• 5:17
  you
• 5:17
  know,
• 5:17
  but
• 5:18
  what
• 5:18
  was
• 5:18
  funny
• 5:19
  was,
• 5:19
  you
• 5:19
  know,
• 5:19
  she
• 5:20
  was
• 5:20
  like
• 5:20
  feeling
• 5:20
  all
• 5:21
  good
• 5:21
  about
• 5:21
  her
• 5:21
  choices.
• 5:22
  And
• 5:23
  then
• 5:23
  Erica
• 5:24
  said,
• 5:24
  but
• 5:24
  you
• 5:24
  know,
• 5:25
  when
• 5:25
  you're
• 5:25
  with
• 5:25
  your
• 5:25
  baby,
• 5:26
  you
• 5:26
  know,
• 5:26
  you
• 5:26
  need
• 5:26
  to
• 5:27
  put
• 5:27
  your
• 5:27
  phone
• 5:27
  away,
• 5:28
  your
• 5:28
  screens.
• 5:28
  And
• 5:29
  you
• 5:29
  know,
• 5:29
  Courtney's
• 5:30
  like,
• 5:30
  what?
• 5:31
  I
• 5:31
  need
• 5:31
  to
• 5:31
  put
• 5:31
  my
• 5:32
  phone
• 5:32
  away?
• 5:32
  You
• 5:33
  mean
• 5:33
  I
• 5:33
  can't
• 5:33
  be
• 5:33
  texting
• 5:34
  while
• 5:34
  I'm
• 5:34
  with
• 5:34
  my
• 5:34
  child?
• 5:35
  I
• 5:35
  feel
• 5:35
  like,
• 5:36
  okay,
• 5:36
  so
• 5:36
  I
• 5:36
  actually
• 5:36
  read
• 5:37
  something
• 5:37
  really
• 5:37
  interesting
• 5:37
  about
• 5:38
  that.
• 5:38
  Apparently,
• 5:39
  obviously
• 5:40
  it's
• 5:40
  like
• 5:40
  you're
• 5:40
  distracted.
• 5:41
  But
• 5:41
  the
• 5:42
  face
• 5:42
  we
• 5:42
  make,
• 5:43
  that
• 5:43
  dead
• 5:43
  eyed
• 5:44
  face
• 5:44
  we
• 5:44
  make
• 5:44
  when
• 5:45
  we
• 5:45
  are
• 5:45
  scrolling
• 5:45
  on
• 5:46
  our
• 5:46
  phones
• 5:46
  is
• 5:47
  apparently
• 5:47
  really
• 5:47
  confusing
• 5:48
  for
• 5:49
  babies
• 5:50
  because
• 5:50
  they
• 5:50
  learn
• 5:51
  so
• 5:51
  much
• 5:51
  about
• 5:52
  social
• 5:52
  cues
• 5:53
  based
• 5:53
  on
• 5:53
  like,
• 5:54
  like
• 5:54
  volleying
• 5:55
  with
• 5:56
  us
• 5:56
  with
• 5:56
  our
• 5:56
  faces
• 5:57
  and
• 5:57
  our
• 5:57
  reactions.
• 5:58
  And
• 5:58
  when
• 5:58
  you're
• 5:58
  looking
• 5:59
  at
• 5:59
  your
• 5:59
  phone
• 5:59
  like
• 5:59
  this,
• 6:01
  they're
• 6:01
  like,
• 6:02
  what
• 6:02
  is
• 6:02
  this?
• 6:03
  Like
• 6:03
  our
• 6:04
  brains
• 6:04
  haven't
• 6:04
  evolved
• 6:05
  to
• 6:05
  understand
• 6:06
  what
• 6:07
  that
• 6:07
  is.
• 6:07
  And
• 6:08
  it's
• 6:08
  really
• 6:08
  concerning
• 6:09
  for
• 6:10
  little
• 6:10
  babies.
• 6:10
  They're
• 6:11
  like,
• 6:11
  and
• 6:12
  I
• 6:12
  think,
• 6:12
  are
• 6:12
  you
• 6:12
  broken?
• 6:13
  Erica
• 6:13
  is
• 6:13
  right.
• 6:14
  You
• 6:14
  know,
• 6:14
  put
• 6:14
  your
• 6:15
  phone
• 6:15
  away
• 6:15
  when
• 6:15
  you're
• 6:16
  engaged
• 6:17
  with
• 6:17
  your
• 6:17
  baby.
• 6:18
  That
• 6:19
  does
• 6:19
  make
• 6:19
  sense.
• 6:19
  I
• 6:19
  mean,
• 6:20
  she
• 6:20
  does
• 6:20
  say
• 6:20
  things
• 6:20
  that
• 6:21
  make
• 6:21
  sense.
• 6:21
  Okay,
• 6:21
  she
• 6:22
  does.
• 6:22
  There
• 6:22
  are
• 6:22
  just
• 6:22
  some
• 6:23
  big
• 6:23
  ideas
• 6:23
  that
• 6:23
  to
• 6:24
  me
• 6:24
  do
• 6:24
  not
• 6:24
  make
• 6:24
  sense.
• 6:25
  Yeah.
• 6:25
  Or
• 6:25
  that
• 6:25
  again
• 6:26
  are
• 6:26
  like
• 6:27
  not
• 6:27
  possible
• 6:28
  for
• 6:28
  everyone.
• 6:29
  You
• 6:29
  know,
• 6:29
  they're
• 6:30
  really
• 6:30
  not
• 6:30
  possible
• 6:30
  for
• 6:31
  everyone.
• 6:31
  That
• 6:31
  said,
• 6:31
  like,
• 6:32
  she
• 6:32
  does
• 6:32
  make
• 6:32
  points
• 6:33
  and
• 6:33
  we'll
• 6:33
  get
• 6:33
  like,
• 6:33
  we'll
• 6:33
  go
• 6:34
  through,
• 6:34
  through,
• 6:34
  by
• 6:34
  through.
• 6:34
  But
• 6:34
  like
• 6:35
  she
• 6:35
  makes
• 6:36
  points
• 6:36
  later
• 6:36
  on
• 6:37
  where
• 6:37
  she's
• 6:37
  like,
• 6:37
  listen,
• 6:37
  sometimes
• 6:38
  it's
• 6:38
  not
• 6:38
  economically
• 6:38
  feasible
• 6:39
  to
• 6:39
  do
• 6:40
  this.
• 6:40
  Like
• 6:40
  you're
• 6:40
  a
• 6:40
  single
• 6:40
  parent
• 6:41
  or
• 6:41
  like
• 6:42
  you
• 6:42
  need
• 6:42
  a
• 6:43
  dual
• 6:43
  income
• 6:43
  for
• 6:43
  whatever
• 6:44
  reason.
• 6:44
  But
• 6:45
  she
• 6:45
  makes
• 6:45
  this
• 6:45
  point
• 6:46
  where
• 6:46
  she's
• 6:46
  like,
• 6:47
  people
• 6:47
  value
• 6:48
  in
• 6:48
  our
• 6:48
  society
• 6:50
  material
• 6:50
  things
• 6:51
  over
• 6:52
  time
• 6:52
  in
• 6:52
  connection
• 6:53
  with
• 6:53
  their
• 6:54
  closest
• 6:55
  people.
• 6:55
  But
• 6:56
  I
• 6:56
  think
• 6:56
  you
• 6:56
  then
• 6:57
  have
• 6:57
  to
• 6:57
  get
• 6:57
  into
• 6:57
  the
• 6:57
  definition
• 6:58
  of.
• 6:58
  Well,
• 6:59
  people
• 6:59
  have
• 7:00
  different
• 7:00
  ideas
• 7:00
  of
• 7:00
  what
• 7:01
  material
• 7:01
  things
• 7:01
  are.
• 7:02
  You
• 7:02
  know,
• 7:03
  like
• 7:03
  material
• 7:04
  things
• 7:04
  can
• 7:04
  be,
• 7:05
  you
• 7:05
  know,
• 7:05
  clothes
• 7:06
  and
• 7:06
  things
• 7:06
  like
• 7:06
  that,
• 7:07
  but
• 7:07
  they
• 7:07
  can
• 7:07
  also
• 7:07
  be
• 7:08
  like
• 7:08
  opportunities
• 7:09
  that
• 7:09
  are
• 7:09
  expensive.
• 7:10
  Right.
• 7:11
  You
• 7:11
  know,
• 7:11
  and
• 7:12
  I
• 7:12
  guess
• 7:12
  some
• 7:12
  parents
• 7:13
  would
• 7:13
  argue,
• 7:13
  like,
• 7:14
  well,
• 7:15
  my
• 7:15
  child
• 7:16
  to
• 7:16
  say
• 7:16
  is
• 7:17
  an
• 7:17
  example
• 7:18
  is
• 7:18
  incredible
• 7:18
  at
• 7:19
  piano.
• 7:19
  But
• 7:20
  in
• 7:20
  order
• 7:20
  to
• 7:20
  afford
• 7:20
  piano
• 7:21
  lessons,
• 7:21
  I
• 7:22
  also
• 7:22
  have
• 7:22
  to
• 7:22
  work.
• 7:23
  And
• 7:23
  in
• 7:23
  the
• 7:24
  interest
• 7:24
  of
• 7:24
  fostering
• 7:25
  this
• 7:25
  thing
• 7:25
  that
• 7:25
  my
• 7:25
  child
• 7:26
  is
• 7:26
  really
• 7:26
  good
• 7:26
  at,
• 7:26
  whether
• 7:27
  it's
• 7:27
  a
• 7:27
  sport
• 7:27
  or
• 7:27
  an
• 7:27
  instrument
• 7:28
  or
• 7:28
  something
• 7:28
  that
• 7:29
  they
• 7:29
  love,
• 7:29
  maybe
• 7:30
  both
• 7:30
  parents
• 7:31
  have
• 7:31
  to
• 7:31
  work.
• 7:32
  Right,
• 7:32
  Right.
• 7:32
  And
• 7:32
  maybe
• 7:33
  that
• 7:33
  is
• 7:33
  the
• 7:33
  best
• 7:33
  thing.
• 7:34
  Well,
• 7:34
  and
• 7:35
  not
• 7:35
  just
• 7:35
  that.
• 7:36
  I
• 7:36
  mean,
• 7:36
  in
• 7:36
  many
• 7:37
  homes,
• 7:37
  in
• 7:38
  most
• 7:38
  homes,
• 7:38
  both
• 7:39
  parents
• 7:39
  have
• 7:39
  to
• 7:39
  work.
• 7:40
  I
• 7:40
  mean,
• 7:40
  I
• 7:40
  was
• 7:41
  thinking
• 7:41
  about
• 7:41
  it
• 7:41
  yesterday,
• 7:42
  you
• 7:42
  Know,
• 7:43
  you
• 7:44
  know,
• 7:45
  when
• 7:45
  you
• 7:46
  were
• 7:46
  young,
• 7:47
  we
• 7:47
  had
• 7:48
  to
• 7:48
  both
• 7:48
  work
• 7:49
  in
• 7:49
  order
• 7:49
  to.
• 7:50
  We
• 7:50
  lived
• 7:50
  in
• 7:51
  New
• 7:51
  York
• 7:51
  City.
• 7:52
  So.
• 7:52
  Yeah.
• 7:52
  Could
• 7:53
  we
• 7:53
  have
• 7:53
  moved?
• 7:54
  Yeah,
• 7:54
  maybe.
• 7:55
  We
• 7:55
  could
• 7:55
  have
• 7:55
  moved
• 7:56
  to
• 7:57
  maybe
• 7:57
  New
• 7:57
  Jersey.
• 7:59
  You
• 7:59
  know,
• 7:59
  your
• 7:59
  dad
• 7:59
  works
• 8:00
  in
• 8:00
  the
• 8:00
  city.
• 8:00
  I
• 8:00
  worked
• 8:01
  in
• 8:01
  the
• 8:01
  city.
• 8:01
  We
• 8:01
  both
• 8:02
  did.
• 8:02
  But
• 8:03
  if
• 8:03
  I
• 8:03
  didn't
• 8:03
  want
• 8:03
  to
• 8:04
  work,
• 8:04
  yeah,
• 8:04
  we
• 8:05
  could
• 8:05
  have
• 8:05
  moved
• 8:06
  out
• 8:06
  there,
• 8:06
  but
• 8:06
  then
• 8:06
  there
• 8:06
  would
• 8:07
  have
• 8:07
  been
• 8:07
  a
• 8:07
  very
• 8:07
  long
• 8:07
  commute
• 8:08
  for
• 8:08
  him
• 8:08
  to
• 8:09
  come
• 8:09
  in
• 8:09
  and
• 8:09
  out,
• 8:11
  and
• 8:12
  I
• 8:12
  wanted
• 8:12
  to
• 8:13
  work.
• 8:13
  I
• 8:14
  don't
• 8:14
  know
• 8:14
  how
• 8:14
  I
• 8:14
  would
• 8:14
  have
• 8:14
  felt
• 8:15
  about
• 8:15
  not
• 8:15
  working,
• 8:16
  because
• 8:16
  I
• 8:16
  love
• 8:16
  working.
• 8:18
  Me
• 8:18
  too.
• 8:19
  Do
• 8:19
  you?
• 8:19
  Yeah.
• 8:19
  Yeah.
• 8:20
  Like,
• 8:21
  it's
• 8:21
  funny,
• 8:21
  there's
• 8:22
  a
• 8:22
  part
• 8:22
  of
• 8:22
  me
• 8:22
  that's
• 8:23
  like,
• 8:23
  okay,
• 8:23
  when
• 8:23
  I
• 8:23
  have
• 8:24
  a
• 8:24
  second
• 8:24
  kid,
• 8:25
  I
• 8:25
  think
• 8:25
  it
• 8:25
  will
• 8:26
  be
• 8:26
  harder
• 8:26
  to
• 8:26
  work
• 8:27
  the
• 8:27
  way
• 8:27
  I
• 8:27
  work
• 8:28
  now.
• 8:29
  I'm
• 8:29
  hoping
• 8:29
  I
• 8:30
  can
• 8:30
  still
• 8:30
  maintain
• 8:32
  at
• 8:32
  least
• 8:33
  like
• 8:33
  part
• 8:33
  time,
• 8:34
  but
• 8:34
  with
• 8:35
  one
• 8:35
  baby,
• 8:35
  it's
• 8:36
  a
• 8:36
  bit
• 8:36
  easier
• 8:36
  so
• 8:37
  far
• 8:37
  to
• 8:38
  arrange
• 8:38
  to
• 8:39
  be
• 8:39
  able
• 8:39
  to
• 8:39
  work.
• 8:39
  I
• 8:40
  work
• 8:40
  around
• 8:40
  her
• 8:41
  schedule,
• 8:41
  but
• 8:42
  I'm
• 8:42
  still
• 8:42
  her
• 8:42
  primary
• 8:43
  caretaker.
• 8:43
  You
• 8:44
  know,
• 8:44
  it's
• 8:44
  like
• 8:44
  I
• 8:45
  work
• 8:45
  before
• 8:45
  she
• 8:45
  wakes
• 8:45
  up,
• 8:46
  I
• 8:46
  work
• 8:46
  during
• 8:46
  her
• 8:46
  naps,
• 8:47
  and.
• 8:47
  And
• 8:47
  I
• 8:47
  work
• 8:47
  after
• 8:48
  she
• 8:48
  goes
• 8:48
  to
• 8:48
  sleep,
• 8:48
  but
• 8:49
  I'm
• 8:49
  still.
• 8:49
  When
• 8:49
  she
• 8:49
  is
• 8:50
  awake
• 8:50
  and
• 8:50
  cognizant,
• 8:51
  I
• 8:52
  am
• 8:52
  there.
• 8:52
  Right,
• 8:53
  right.
• 8:53
  No,
• 8:54
  that's
• 8:54
  the
• 8:54
  best
• 8:54
  of
• 8:54
  all
• 8:54
  possible
• 8:55
  words.
• 8:55
  Prevalence.
• 8:56
  Once
• 8:56
  you
• 8:56
  start
• 8:56
  having
• 8:57
  many
• 8:58
  kids,
• 8:58
  then
• 8:59
  it
• 8:59
  becomes.
• 9:00
  That.
• 9:00
  Becomes
• 9:00
  charged.
• 9:00
  There
• 9:00
  won't
• 9:01
  be
• 9:02
  many.
• 9:02
  There
• 9:03
  will
• 9:03
  maybe
• 9:03
  be
• 9:04
  two
• 9:04
  or
• 9:04
  three.
• 9:05
  Three,
• 9:06
  absolute
• 9:06
  maximum.
• 9:07
  Okay.
• 9:07
  Okay.
• 9:08
  Well,
• 9:09
  and
• 9:09
  so
• 9:09
  she
• 9:10
  says,
• 9:11
  here's
• 9:11
  a
• 9:11
  quote.
• 9:12
  Your
• 9:12
  baby
• 9:12
  doesn't
• 9:12
  care
• 9:13
  if
• 9:13
  she
• 9:13
  has
• 9:13
  a
• 9:13
  bigger
• 9:14
  room
• 9:14
  or
• 9:14
  a
• 9:14
  Florida
• 9:15
  vacation.
• 9:16
  I
• 9:16
  hope
• 9:16
  this
• 9:16
  book
• 9:16
  will
• 9:17
  inspire
• 9:17
  you
• 9:17
  to
• 9:18
  question
• 9:18
  whether
• 9:18
  you
• 9:19
  need
• 9:19
  or
• 9:19
  want
• 9:20
  more
• 9:21
  financial
• 9:21
  resources
• 9:22
  and
• 9:22
  whether
• 9:22
  this.
• 9:24
  In
• 9:24
  this.
• 9:25
  Whether
• 9:26
  this
• 9:26
  critical
• 9:27
  time
• 9:27
  in
• 9:27
  your
• 9:27
  baby's
• 9:28
  life
• 9:28
  is
• 9:29
  when
• 9:29
  you
• 9:29
  should
• 9:29
  focus
• 9:29
  on
• 9:29
  your
• 9:30
  career
• 9:30
  and
• 9:30
  material
• 9:31
  success.
• 9:31
  Yeah.
• 9:31
  She
• 9:32
  really
• 9:32
  says,
• 9:32
  you
• 9:33
  know,
• 9:33
  you
• 9:33
  can
• 9:33
  have
• 9:34
  a
• 9:34
  lot
• 9:34
  of
• 9:34
  what
• 9:35
  you
• 9:35
  want,
• 9:35
  just
• 9:35
  you
• 9:35
  can't
• 9:36
  have
• 9:36
  it
• 9:36
  at
• 9:36
  the
• 9:36
  same
• 9:36
  time.
• 9:37
  Yes.
• 9:37
  And
• 9:38
  you
• 9:38
  should
• 9:38
  just
• 9:38
  hold
• 9:39
  off
• 9:39
  on
• 9:39
  your
• 9:39
  career
• 9:40
  until
• 9:40
  later,
• 9:41
  after
• 9:41
  your
• 9:42
  baby's.
• 9:42
  You
• 9:43
  know,
• 9:44
  and
• 9:44
  if
• 9:44
  you
• 9:44
  have
• 9:44
  two
• 9:45
  or
• 9:45
  three
• 9:45
  kids,
• 9:45
  then
• 9:46
  be
• 9:46
  home
• 9:46
  for
• 9:46
  each
• 9:47
  three
• 9:47
  year,
• 9:47
  the
• 9:48
  first
• 9:48
  three
• 9:48
  years
• 9:48
  of
• 9:49
  a
• 9:49
  decade,
• 9:50
  you're
• 9:50
  gonna
• 9:50
  be
• 9:50
  way
• 9:51
  behind.
• 9:52
  But
• 9:52
  that's
• 9:52
  another
• 9:52
  thing.
• 9:53
  I
• 9:53
  think
• 9:53
  she
• 9:54
  sort
• 9:54
  of
• 9:54
  addresses
• 9:54
  this,
• 9:55
  but
• 9:55
  also
• 9:55
  kind
• 9:55
  of
• 9:56
  like
• 9:56
  sugarcoats
• 9:56
  it
• 9:57
  where
• 9:57
  it's
• 9:57
  like,
• 9:57
  you
• 9:57
  know,
• 9:58
  you
• 9:58
  can
• 9:59
  leave
• 9:59
  your
• 9:59
  career
• 10:00
  and
• 10:00
  then
• 10:00
  come
• 10:00
  back.
• 10:01
  Yeah,
• 10:02
  but.
• 10:02
  And
• 10:02
  it's
• 10:03
  hard
• 10:03
  because
• 10:03
  she
• 10:03
  sort
• 10:04
  of
• 10:04
  acknowledges
• 10:04
  that.
• 10:04
  It's
• 10:05
  like,
• 10:05
  listen,
• 10:05
  if
• 10:05
  you're
• 10:06
  gone
• 10:06
  for
• 10:06
  three
• 10:06
  years,
• 10:07
  it's
• 10:07
  not
• 10:07
  just
• 10:08
  about
• 10:08
  the
• 10:09
  three
• 10:09
  years.
• 10:10
  It's
• 10:10
  about
• 10:10
  everything
• 10:10
  that
• 10:11
  compounds
• 10:11
  in
• 10:12
  those
• 10:12
  three
• 10:12
  years.
• 10:13
  The
• 10:13
  raises
• 10:13
  you
• 10:14
  are
• 10:14
  missing,
• 10:14
  the
• 10:15
  promotions
• 10:15
  you
• 10:15
  are
• 10:16
  missing,
• 10:16
  the
• 10:16
  accounts
• 10:17
  or
• 10:17
  whatever.
• 10:17
  However
• 10:18
  your
• 10:18
  business
• 10:18
  is
• 10:18
  structured,
• 10:19
  the
• 10:19
  things
• 10:20
  you
• 10:20
  miss
• 10:20
  in
• 10:20
  this
• 10:21
  three
• 10:21
  year
• 10:21
  period,
• 10:22
  which
• 10:22
  unfortunately
• 10:23
  coincides
• 10:23
  with
• 10:24
  most
• 10:24
  women's
• 10:24
  childbearing
• 10:25
  years,
• 10:25
  tend
• 10:26
  to
• 10:26
  be
• 10:26
  the
• 10:26
  years
• 10:27
  in
• 10:27
  which
• 10:27
  they
• 10:27
  set
• 10:27
  the
• 10:28
  foundation
• 10:28
  for
• 10:29
  the
• 10:29
  lucrative
• 10:29
  stuff
• 10:30
  later
• 10:30
  on.
• 10:31
  Right.
• 10:31
  Which
• 10:31
  is
• 10:32
  inconvenient.
• 10:34
  And,
• 10:35
  but
• 10:35
  she
• 10:35
  says,
• 10:35
  but
• 10:36
  you'll
• 10:36
  be
• 10:36
  happier
• 10:36
  because
• 10:37
  you'll
• 10:37
  have
• 10:37
  a
• 10:37
  well
• 10:37
  adjusted
• 10:38
  child.
• 10:39
  But
• 10:39
  again,
• 10:40
  as
• 10:40
  we
• 10:40
  go
• 10:40
  through
• 10:41
  some
• 10:41
  of
• 10:41
  this,
• 10:41
  and
• 10:41
  let's
• 10:42
  go
• 10:42
  through
• 10:42
  some
• 10:42
  of
• 10:42
  this.
• 10:42
  Yes,
• 10:44
  you'll
• 10:44
  see
• 10:45
  I
• 10:45
  didn't
• 10:45
  believe
• 10:46
  a
• 10:46
  lot
• 10:46
  of
• 10:46
  the
• 10:47
  research.
• 10:47
  Cause
• 10:47
  it's,
• 10:48
  I
• 10:48
  mean
• 10:48
  I
• 10:48
  believed
• 10:49
  it,
• 10:49
  but
• 10:49
  what
• 10:49
  I
• 10:49
  didn't
• 10:50
  see
• 10:50
  was
• 10:50
  I
• 10:51
  didn't
• 10:51
  see
• 10:51
  anything
• 10:52
  on
• 10:52
  the
• 10:52
  other
• 10:52
  side.
• 10:53
  I
• 10:53
  saw
• 10:53
  a
• 10:53
  very
• 10:54
  one
• 10:54
  sided
• 10:55
  argument
• 10:56
  about
• 10:56
  staying
• 10:57
  home.
• 10:57
  It's
• 10:58
  better.
• 10:59
  And
• 11:00
  I
• 11:00
  believe
• 11:00
  it's
• 11:01
  really
• 11:01
  good.
• 11:02
  And
• 11:02
  I
• 11:02
  believe
• 11:03
  any
• 11:03
  woman
• 11:04
  who
• 11:04
  she,
• 11:04
  girl,
• 11:05
  I
• 11:05
  believe
• 11:05
  you.
• 11:05
  I
• 11:06
  believe
• 11:06
  that's
• 11:06
  a
• 11:06
  good
• 11:07
  thing.
• 11:07
  I'm
• 11:08
  with
• 11:08
  you
• 11:08
  on
• 11:08
  that.
• 11:08
  And
• 11:09
  if
• 11:09
  you
• 11:09
  want
• 11:09
  to
• 11:09
  stay
• 11:09
  home
• 11:10
  and,
• 11:10
  and
• 11:10
  you
• 11:11
  can
• 11:11
  afford
• 11:11
  to
• 11:11
  stay
• 11:12
  home,
• 11:12
  God
• 11:13
  bless
• 11:13
  you,
• 11:13
  do
• 11:14
  it.
• 11:14
  I
• 11:14
  mean,
• 11:14
  I
• 11:14
  think
• 11:15
  that's
• 11:15
  great.
• 11:15
  Do
• 11:16
  it.
• 11:16
  If
• 11:16
  you
• 11:17
  can't
• 11:18
  stay
• 11:18
  home,
• 11:18
  if
• 11:19
  you
• 11:19
  can't
• 11:19
  afford
• 11:19
  it,
• 11:19
  if
• 11:20
  you
• 11:20
  don't
• 11:20
  want
• 11:20
  to,
• 11:21
  I
• 11:21
  think
• 11:21
  it's
• 11:21
  an
• 11:22
  equally
• 11:22
  valid
• 11:23
  choice
• 11:23
  to
• 11:23
  find
• 11:23
  a
• 11:23
  way
• 11:24
  to
• 11:24
  work
• 11:24
  and
• 11:24
  have
• 11:25
  a
• 11:25
  child
• 11:26
  and
• 11:26
  you
• 11:26
  know,
• 11:26
  but
• 11:27
  every
• 11:27
  time
• 11:28
  she
• 11:28
  mentioned
• 11:29
  staying
• 11:29
  home,
• 11:30
  like,
• 11:30
  yeah,
• 11:31
  you
• 11:31
  might
• 11:31
  have
• 11:31
  to
• 11:31
  stay
• 11:31
  home,
• 11:32
  she
• 11:32
  would
• 11:33
  always
• 11:33
  say,
• 11:34
  but
• 11:34
  it's
• 11:34
  not
• 11:35
  the
• 11:35
  right
• 11:35
  choice,
• 11:35
  it's
• 11:35
  not
• 11:36
  a
• 11:36
  good
• 11:36
  choice.
• 11:36
  But
• 11:36
  if
• 11:36
  you
• 11:37
  do.
• 11:37
  And
• 11:37
  then
• 11:38
  she
• 11:38
  would,
• 11:38
  oh
• 11:38
  no,
• 11:38
  you
• 11:38
  mean
• 11:39
  if
• 11:39
  you
• 11:40
  might
• 11:40
  have
• 11:40
  to
• 11:40
  go
• 11:40
  to
• 11:40
  work,
• 11:41
  but
• 11:41
  it's
• 11:41
  the
• 11:41
  wrong
• 11:41
  choice.
• 11:41
  You
• 11:42
  said
• 11:42
  if
• 11:42
  you
• 11:42
  want.
• 11:43
  Oh,
• 11:43
  I'm
• 11:43
  sorry,
• 11:43
  I
• 11:44
  did
• 11:44
  that
• 11:44
  backwards.
• 11:44
  This
• 11:44
  girl
• 11:45
  loves
• 11:45
  ladies
• 11:46
  staying
• 11:46
  in
• 11:46
  the
• 11:47
  house.
• 11:47
  She
• 11:47
  does,
• 11:48
  she
• 11:48
  really
• 11:48
  wants
• 11:49
  them
• 11:49
  home.
• 11:50
  Stay
• 11:50
  in
• 11:50
  your
• 11:50
  house,
• 11:50
  stay
• 11:51
  home.
• 11:51
  And
• 11:52
  you
• 11:52
  know,
• 11:52
  and,
• 11:53
  and
• 11:53
  she
• 11:53
  can't
• 11:54
  even,
• 11:54
  she
• 11:54
  can't
• 11:54
  even
• 11:55
  say
• 11:55
  for
• 11:55
  a
• 11:56
  minute
• 11:56
  that
• 11:56
  yeah,
• 11:57
  if
• 11:57
  you
• 11:57
  do
• 11:57
  have
• 11:58
  to
• 11:58
  work,
• 11:59
  you
• 11:59
  know,
• 11:59
  it's,
• 12:00
  it's
• 12:01
  positive
• 12:01
  in
• 12:02
  any
• 12:02
  way
• 12:02
  because
• 12:02
  it's
• 12:03
  not,
• 12:03
  it's
• 12:03
  not,
• 12:03
  it's
• 12:04
  better
• 12:04
  to
• 12:04
  stay
• 12:04
  home,
• 12:05
  better
• 12:05
  to
• 12:05
  be
• 12:06
  with
• 12:06
  your
• 12:06
  baby.
• 12:06
  And
• 12:07
  there
• 12:07
  were
• 12:07
  so
• 12:08
  many
• 12:08
  arguments
• 12:08
  that
• 12:09
  last
• 12:09
  night
• 12:09
  you
• 12:09
  should
• 12:09
  have
• 12:10
  heard
• 12:10
  me.
• 12:10
  I
• 12:10
  was
• 12:10
  in
• 12:10
  bed,
• 12:11
  just,
• 12:11
  I
• 12:11
  threw
• 12:11
  the
• 12:11
  book
• 12:12
  across
• 12:12
  the
• 12:12
  bed.
• 12:13
  I
• 12:13
  was
• 12:13
  like,
• 12:13
  you
• 12:13
  cannot
• 12:14
  be
• 12:14
  serious.
• 12:15
  She
• 12:15
  was
• 12:15
  talking
• 12:16
  about
• 12:17
  adhd
• 12:18
  and
• 12:20
  she
• 12:20
  said
• 12:20
  that
• 12:21
  children
• 12:21
  learn
• 12:22
  to
• 12:22
  focus
• 12:23
  and
• 12:23
  pay
• 12:23
  attention
• 12:24
  when
• 12:25
  they're
• 12:25
  in
• 12:25
  their
• 12:25
  mother's
• 12:25
  arms,
• 12:26
  like
• 12:26
  breastfeeding
• 12:27
  and
• 12:28
  being
• 12:28
  cuddled
• 12:29
  and
• 12:29
  loved
• 12:29
  by
• 12:29
  their
• 12:30
  baby.
• 12:30
  That's
• 12:30
  when
• 12:30
  they
• 12:30
  learn
• 12:31
  to
• 12:31
  focus
• 12:31
  and
• 12:31
  pay
• 12:32
  attention.
• 12:33
  So
• 12:33
  if
• 12:33
  you're
• 12:33
  not
• 12:33
  doing
• 12:34
  that
• 12:34
  enough.
• 12:34
  There's
• 12:35
  a
• 12:35
  good
• 12:35
  chance
• 12:35
  they'll
• 12:36
  get
• 12:36
  adhd.
• 12:37
  That
• 12:37
  felt
• 12:37
  like
• 12:37
  a
• 12:37
  little
• 12:38
  bit
• 12:38
  of,
• 12:38
  like,
• 12:38
  a
• 12:38
  reckless
• 12:39
  argument
• 12:39
  to
• 12:39
  make.
• 12:40
  Because
• 12:40
  also,
• 12:40
  it's
• 12:41
  like,
• 12:41
  I
• 12:41
  don't
• 12:42
  know
• 12:42
  how
• 12:42
  much
• 12:42
  she
• 12:42
  knows
• 12:42
  about
• 12:42
  adhd.
• 12:44
  You
• 12:44
  happen
• 12:45
  to
• 12:45
  know
• 12:45
  a
• 12:45
  lot.
• 12:45
  I
• 12:46
  do.
• 12:46
  And
• 12:46
  I
• 12:47
  was
• 12:47
  like,
• 12:47
  what
• 12:48
  are
• 12:48
  you
• 12:48
  talking
• 12:48
  about?
• 12:49
  It's
• 12:49
  hereditary,
• 12:50
  mostly.
• 12:51
  That
• 12:51
  said,
• 12:52
  what
• 12:52
  was
• 12:52
  interesting
• 12:52
  to
• 12:53
  me,
• 12:53
  what
• 12:53
  we'll
• 12:54
  know
• 12:54
  now
• 12:54
  about
• 12:54
  ADHD
• 12:55
  is
• 12:55
  that
• 12:55
  it
• 12:55
  is
• 12:56
  genetic,
• 12:56
  but
• 12:56
  it
• 12:56
  is
• 12:57
  also
• 12:57
  epigenetic.
• 12:58
  So
• 12:58
  maybe
• 12:59
  some
• 12:59
  people
• 12:59
  have
• 12:59
  ADHD
• 13:00
  and
• 13:00
  it
• 13:00
  lays
• 13:00
  dormant.
• 13:01
  And
• 13:01
  maybe
• 13:01
  her
• 13:02
  argument
• 13:02
  was
• 13:02
  like,
• 13:03
  your
• 13:03
  child
• 13:03
  might
• 13:04
  be
• 13:04
  prone
• 13:04
  to
• 13:04
  adhd,
• 13:05
  but
• 13:05
  if
• 13:05
  you
• 13:05
  stay
• 13:06
  home,
• 13:06
  it
• 13:07
  will
• 13:07
  never
• 13:07
  surface.
• 13:08
  Don't.
• 13:09
  That's
• 13:09
  not
• 13:09
  what
• 13:09
  she
• 13:10
  said.
• 13:10
  But
• 13:10
  okay.
• 13:11
  Okay.
• 13:12
  Anyway,
• 13:12
  I
• 13:12
  was
• 13:12
  like,
• 13:13
  what
• 13:13
  are
• 13:13
  you
• 13:13
  talking
• 13:13
  about,
• 13:14
  lady?
• 13:14
  Anyway,
• 13:15
  I'm
• 13:15
  sorry.
• 13:16
  I
• 13:16
  should
• 13:16
  need
• 13:16
  to
• 13:17
  try
• 13:17
  to
• 13:17
  be
• 13:17
  very
• 13:18
  unbiased.
• 13:19
  I
• 13:19
  need
• 13:19
  to
• 13:19
  try
• 13:19
  to
• 13:19
  be.
• 13:20
  No,
• 13:20
  you
• 13:20
  don't.
• 13:20
  Because
• 13:21
  we
• 13:21
  can
• 13:21
  be
• 13:21
  critics.
• 13:22
  Listen,
• 13:23
  we're
• 13:23
  not
• 13:23
  gonna
• 13:23
  love
• 13:24
  every
• 13:24
  book.
• 13:24
  And
• 13:24
  that's
• 13:25
  the
• 13:25
  whole
• 13:25
  point
• 13:25
  of
• 13:25
  this.
• 13:26
  Right?
• 13:26
  It's
• 13:26
  like,
• 13:27
  if
• 13:27
  we
• 13:27
  love
• 13:27
  every
• 13:27
  book,
• 13:28
  what
• 13:28
  is
• 13:28
  the
• 13:28
  point
• 13:28
  of
• 13:29
  this
• 13:29
  podcast?
• 13:29
  Then
• 13:30
  everyone
• 13:30
  should
• 13:30
  read
• 13:30
  every
• 13:31
  book.
• 13:31
  Right?
• 13:31
  You
• 13:31
  can't.
• 13:31
  And
• 13:32
  I
• 13:32
  don't
• 13:32
  feel
• 13:32
  that
• 13:32
  way.
• 13:32
  In
• 13:33
  fact,
• 13:33
  I
• 13:33
  feel
• 13:33
  like
• 13:34
  there's
• 13:34
  maybe.
• 13:34
  Of
• 13:34
  the
• 13:34
  books,
• 13:35
  we've
• 13:35
  done
• 13:35
  two
• 13:36
  books
• 13:36
  I
• 13:36
  would
• 13:36
  really,
• 13:37
  truly
• 13:38
  recommend
• 13:38
  to
• 13:38
  anyone
• 13:39
  to
• 13:39
  read.
• 13:39
  Yeah.
• 13:39
  And
• 13:40
  I
• 13:40
  won't
• 13:40
  say
• 13:40
  what
• 13:40
  they
• 13:40
  are
• 13:40
  right
• 13:41
  now,
• 13:41
  because
• 13:42
  that's
• 13:42
  none
• 13:43
  of
• 13:43
  anybody's
• 13:43
  business.
• 13:43
  You
• 13:44
  have
• 13:44
  to
• 13:44
  watch
• 13:44
  the
• 13:44
  pod.
• 13:44
  You
• 13:45
  gotta.
• 13:45
  And
• 13:45
  then
• 13:46
  you'll
• 13:46
  listen
• 13:46
  to
• 13:46
  the
• 13:46
  pod.
• 13:47
  Or
• 13:47
  watch
• 13:47
  the
• 13:47
  pod.
• 13:48
  Either
• 13:48
  way,
• 13:48
  you
• 13:48
  can
• 13:48
  now
• 13:48
  watch
• 13:49
  the
• 13:49
  pod.
• 13:49
  You've
• 13:49
  been
• 13:50
  able
• 13:50
  to
• 13:50
  watch
• 13:50
  the
• 13:50
  pod.
• 13:51
  But
• 13:51
  if
• 13:51
  you
• 13:51
  haven't,
• 13:52
  you
• 13:52
  should.
• 13:52
  And
• 13:53
  you
• 13:53
  can.
• 13:53
  And
• 13:53
  you
• 13:54
  can.
• 13:54
  Okay,
• 13:55
  you
• 13:55
  can
• 13:55
  see
• 13:55
  all
• 13:55
  our
• 13:56
  cute
• 13:56
  outfits
• 13:56
  if
• 13:57
  you.
• 13:58
  God,
• 13:58
  I
• 13:59
  wear
• 13:59
  the
• 13:59
  same
• 13:59
  thing
• 13:59
  pretty
• 14:00
  much
• 14:00
  every
• 14:00
  day,
• 14:00
  but
• 14:00
  teens
• 14:01
  outfits.
• 14:03
  I
• 14:03
  dress
• 14:03
  up
• 14:04
  for
• 14:04
  the
• 14:04
  pod.
• 14:04
  Why
• 14:05
  not?
• 14:05
  I
• 14:05
  know.
• 14:06
  I
• 14:06
  want
• 14:06
  to
• 14:06
  look
• 14:06
  good.
• 14:07
  You
• 14:07
  do
• 14:07
  look
• 14:08
  good.
• 14:10
  Okay.
• 14:10
  All
• 14:11
  right,
• 14:11
  let's
• 14:11
  talk
• 14:11
  about.
• 14:12
  Okay,
• 14:12
  get
• 14:13
  back
• 14:13
  to
• 14:13
  the
• 14:13
  book.
• 14:13
  Back
• 14:13
  to
• 14:14
  the
• 14:14
  book.
• 14:14
  Back
• 14:14
  to
• 14:14
  the
• 14:14
  book.
• 14:14
  Okay,
• 14:15
  so
• 14:15
  it's
• 14:15
  divided
• 14:15
  into
• 14:16
  three
• 14:16
  parts.
• 14:16
  Yes.
• 14:17
  Okay.
• 14:17
  The
• 14:17
  first
• 14:17
  part
• 14:18
  is
• 14:19
  called
• 14:19
  A
• 14:20
  Mother's
• 14:20
  Presence.
• 14:21
  And
• 14:21
  it's
• 14:21
  six
• 14:22
  chapters
• 14:22
  on
• 14:23
  why
• 14:23
  staying
• 14:24
  home
• 14:24
  is
• 14:24
  better.
• 14:25
  The
• 14:25
  only
• 14:26
  chapter
• 14:26
  that
• 14:26
  even
• 14:27
  addresses
• 14:28
  what
• 14:28
  happens
• 14:28
  if
• 14:29
  you
• 14:29
  can't
• 14:29
  stay
• 14:29
  home
• 14:30
  is
• 14:30
  the
• 14:31
  sixth
• 14:31
  chapter,
• 14:32
  and
• 14:32
  it's
• 14:32
  like
• 14:32
  two
• 14:32
  pages,
• 14:33
  and
• 14:33
  it's
• 14:33
  not
• 14:33
  very
• 14:34
  long,
• 14:34
  and
• 14:35
  there
• 14:35
  are
• 14:35
  very
• 14:35
  few
• 14:35
  suggestions.
• 14:36
  Yeah.
• 14:36
  But
• 14:36
  anyway,
• 14:37
  the
• 14:37
  second
• 14:38
  part,
• 14:38
  two
• 14:38
  is
• 14:38
  just
• 14:39
  the
• 14:39
  cost
• 14:39
  of
• 14:39
  being
• 14:40
  absent.
• 14:40
  If
• 14:40
  you're
• 14:40
  not
• 14:41
  there,
• 14:41
  this
• 14:41
  is
• 14:41
  what's
• 14:42
  going
• 14:42
  to
• 14:42
  happen.
• 14:42
  And
• 14:42
  it's
• 14:43
  Bad.
• 14:43
  It's
• 14:43
  emotionally
• 14:44
  expensive.
• 14:44
  Very.
• 14:45
  And
• 14:46
  you'll
• 14:46
  pay
• 14:46
  the
• 14:46
  price.
• 14:47
  And
• 14:47
  then
• 14:47
  part
• 14:48
  three
• 14:48
  is.
• 14:48
  And
• 14:48
  so
• 14:49
  will
• 14:49
  society.
• 14:50
  She
• 14:50
  argues
• 14:51
  part
• 14:51
  three
• 14:52
  is
• 14:52
  changing
• 14:52
  the
• 14:53
  conversation,
• 14:54
  which
• 14:54
  is
• 14:55
  really
• 14:55
  about
• 14:56
  what
• 14:56
  else
• 14:56
  should
• 14:57
  we,
• 14:57
  you
• 14:57
  know,
• 14:57
  as
• 14:57
  a
• 14:58
  society,
• 14:59
  you
• 14:59
  know,
• 14:59
  we
• 14:59
  need
• 14:59
  to
• 14:59
  value
• 15:00
  women's.
• 15:00
  This
• 15:01
  I
• 15:01
  liked.
• 15:01
  Yeah,
• 15:02
  this
• 15:02
  I
• 15:02
  liked.
• 15:03
  Because
• 15:03
  I
• 15:03
  think
• 15:04
  there's
• 15:04
  another
• 15:04
  book.
• 15:05
  I
• 15:05
  don't
• 15:05
  know
• 15:05
  what
• 15:05
  the
• 15:05
  title
• 15:05
  is.
• 15:06
  I'll
• 15:06
  look
• 15:06
  it
• 15:06
  up
• 15:06
  and
• 15:06
  I'll
• 15:06
  put
• 15:06
  it
• 15:06
  in
• 15:07
  the
• 15:07
  show
• 15:07
  notes.
• 15:07
  But
• 15:08
  there's
• 15:08
  a
• 15:08
  book
• 15:08
  that
• 15:09
  clearly
• 15:10
  states,
• 15:11
  okay,
• 15:11
  if
• 15:12
  your
• 15:12
  wife
• 15:12
  stays
• 15:13
  home
• 15:13
  and
• 15:13
  she
• 15:13
  takes
• 15:14
  care
• 15:14
  of
• 15:14
  your
• 15:14
  child
• 15:14
  and
• 15:14
  she
• 15:15
  takes
• 15:15
  care
• 15:15
  of
• 15:15
  your
• 15:15
  home
• 15:16
  and
• 15:16
  she
• 15:16
  cooks
• 15:16
  your
• 15:17
  meals
• 15:17
  and
• 15:17
  she
• 15:17
  does
• 15:17
  all
• 15:18
  of
• 15:18
  this,
• 15:18
  you
• 15:18
  essentially
• 15:19
  have
• 15:20
  a
• 15:21
  full
• 15:21
  time
• 15:21
  nanny,
• 15:22
  a
• 15:22
  full
• 15:22
  time
• 15:22
  housekeeper,
• 15:23
  a
• 15:23
  full
• 15:24
  time
• 15:24
  chef,
• 15:24
  and
• 15:25
  these
• 15:25
  are
• 15:25
  the
• 15:25
  salaries
• 15:26
  that
• 15:26
  each
• 15:26
  of
• 15:26
  these
• 15:26
  individual
• 15:27
  people
• 15:27
  make.
• 15:28
  So
• 15:28
  if
• 15:28
  you
• 15:28
  were
• 15:28
  paying
• 15:29
  your
• 15:29
  wife
• 15:30
  the
• 15:30
  salary
• 15:30
  she
• 15:31
  deserves
• 15:31
  to
• 15:31
  be
• 15:32
  doing
• 15:32
  all
• 15:32
  of
• 15:32
  this
• 15:32
  for
• 15:33
  you,
• 15:33
  she
• 15:33
  would
• 15:33
  be
• 15:33
  making
• 15:34
  $350,000
• 15:35
  a
• 15:35
  year.
• 15:35
  Wow.
• 15:35
  Really?
• 15:36
  Okay.
• 15:36
  Yes.
• 15:36
  Yeah.
• 15:37
  So.
• 15:37
  And
• 15:38
  I
• 15:38
  feel
• 15:38
  like
• 15:38
  I
• 15:38
  like
• 15:38
  that
• 15:39
  point
• 15:39
  because
• 15:39
  she'
• 15:39
  like,
• 15:40
  listen,
• 15:40
  like,
• 15:40
  we
• 15:40
  don't
• 15:41
  value
• 15:41
  domestic
• 15:42
  work.
• 15:42
  We
• 15:43
  don't
• 15:43
  in
• 15:43
  this
• 15:43
  country.
• 15:44
  We
• 15:44
  really
• 15:44
  don't.
• 15:45
  Because,
• 15:45
  like,
• 15:46
  oh,
• 15:46
  it
• 15:46
  doesn't
• 15:46
  contribute
• 15:47
  to
• 15:47
  the
• 15:47
  economy.
• 15:47
  I
• 15:48
  would
• 15:48
  argue
• 15:48
  otherwise.
• 15:49
  We
• 15:49
  are
• 15:49
  producing
• 15:50
  workers
• 15:50
  for
• 15:51
  the
• 15:51
  economy.
• 15:52
  We
• 15:52
  are
• 15:52
  trying
• 15:52
  to
• 15:52
  produce
• 15:53
  people,
• 15:54
  people
• 15:54
  who
• 15:54
  will.
• 15:55
  To
• 15:55
  do
• 15:55
  jobs
• 15:56
  to
• 15:56
  society.
• 15:57
  Yeah,
• 15:57
  right.
• 15:58
  No,
• 15:58
  absolutely.
• 15:59
  But
• 16:00
  anyway,
• 16:00
  so
• 16:00
  that
• 16:01
  will.
• 16:01
  We'll
• 16:01
  get
• 16:01
  into
• 16:01
  that
• 16:02
  one.
• 16:02
  So
• 16:03
  the,
• 16:04
  the
• 16:04
  bottom
• 16:04
  line,
• 16:05
  you
• 16:05
  know,
• 16:05
  in
• 16:05
  the
• 16:05
  introductory
• 16:06
  chapter,
• 16:06
  she
• 16:07
  just
• 16:07
  essentially
• 16:08
  makes
• 16:08
  the
• 16:08
  point,
• 16:08
  you
• 16:09
  know,
• 16:09
  you
• 16:09
  can
• 16:09
  do
• 16:09
  many
• 16:09
  things
• 16:10
  in
• 16:10
  life
• 16:10
  not
• 16:10
  at.
• 16:12
  If
• 16:12
  you're
• 16:13
  not
• 16:13
  present
• 16:14
  for
• 16:14
  the
• 16:14
  first
• 16:14
  three
• 16:14
  years
• 16:15
  of
• 16:15
  your
• 16:15
  child's
• 16:16
  life,
• 16:16
  they
• 16:16
  will
• 16:16
  be
• 16:17
  harmed
• 16:17
  emotionally.
• 16:18
  And
• 16:18
  she
• 16:19
  says
• 16:19
  premature.
• 16:20
  Right.
• 16:21
  They
• 16:21
  will
• 16:22
  be
• 16:22
  harmed
• 16:22
  emotionally.
• 16:23
  Premature
• 16:24
  separation,
• 16:25
  which
• 16:25
  is
• 16:25
  less
• 16:26
  than
• 16:26
  three
• 16:26
  years.
• 16:26
  You
• 16:27
  gotta
• 16:27
  be
• 16:27
  there
• 16:27
  for
• 16:27
  the
• 16:27
  first
• 16:28
  three
• 16:28
  years.
• 16:28
  From
• 16:29
  mom
• 16:30
  leads
• 16:30
  to
• 16:30
  many
• 16:31
  social,
• 16:32
  behavioral,
• 16:32
  developmental
• 16:33
  disorders
• 16:34
  like
• 16:34
  depression,
• 16:34
  anxiety,
• 16:35
  adhd,
• 16:36
  aggression,
• 16:37
  bullying.
• 16:38
  I
• 16:38
  would
• 16:38
  just
• 16:38
  like
• 16:38
  to
• 16:38
  say
• 16:39
  I
• 16:39
  know
• 16:39
  plenty
• 16:39
  of
• 16:39
  kids
• 16:40
  whose
• 16:40
  moms
• 16:40
  did
• 16:40
  stay
• 16:41
  home
• 16:41
  and
• 16:41
  they
• 16:41
  suffer
• 16:41
  from
• 16:42
  all
• 16:42
  of
• 16:42
  that.
• 16:43
  So
• 16:44
  it
• 16:44
  can
• 16:44
  happen
• 16:44
  either
• 16:44
  way.
• 16:45
  I
• 16:45
  have
• 16:45
  seen
• 16:46
  it
• 16:46
  happen
• 16:46
  either
• 16:47
  way.
• 16:47
  But
• 16:47
  I
• 16:47
  think.
• 16:49
  And
• 16:49
  then
• 16:49
  she
• 16:50
  says
• 16:50
  a
• 16:50
  key
• 16:50
  factor
• 16:51
  to
• 16:51
  this
• 16:52
  all
• 16:52
  happening
• 16:52
  is
• 16:53
  because
• 16:53
  the
• 16:53
  women
• 16:54
  put
• 16:54
  their
• 16:54
  own
• 16:55
  ambitions
• 16:55
  ahead
• 16:56
  of
• 16:56
  their
• 16:56
  children's
• 16:57
  needs.
• 16:57
  And
• 16:58
  she
• 16:58
  says,
• 16:58
  I
• 16:58
  know
• 16:58
  this
• 16:59
  is
• 16:59
  controversial
• 17:00
  to
• 17:00
  say,
• 17:00
  but
• 17:00
  I
• 17:01
  see
• 17:01
  this
• 17:01
  all
• 17:01
  the
• 17:02
  time
• 17:02
  and
• 17:02
  I'm
• 17:03
  going
• 17:03
  to
• 17:03
  say
• 17:03
  it.
• 17:04
  And
• 17:04
  I'm
• 17:04
  saying
• 17:05
  it.
• 17:07
  She
• 17:07
  is
• 17:07
  saying
• 17:07
  it,
• 17:08
  and
• 17:09
  I'm
• 17:10
  telling
• 17:10
  you.
• 17:10
  And
• 17:10
  there's
• 17:11
  one
• 17:11
  quote
• 17:12
  that
• 17:12
  I
• 17:12
  have
• 17:12
  to
• 17:13
  share
• 17:15
  that
• 17:15
  I
• 17:15
  thought,
• 17:17
  okay,
• 17:18
  okay,
• 17:18
  T.
• 17:18
  What
• 17:19
  is
• 17:19
  it?
• 17:19
  When
• 17:19
  I
• 17:19
  had
• 17:19
  go,
• 17:20
  okay.
• 17:21
  A
• 17:21
  friend
• 17:21
  accused
• 17:22
  the
• 17:22
  Author
• 17:22
  of
• 17:22
  Being
• 17:23
  an
• 17:23
  Anti
• 17:23
  Feminist.
• 17:24
  And
• 17:24
  when
• 17:25
  she
• 17:25
  said
• 17:25
  why,
• 17:25
  she
• 17:26
  said,
• 17:26
  well,
• 17:26
  it's
• 17:27
  because
• 17:27
  you
• 17:27
  advocate
• 17:28
  that
• 17:28
  women
• 17:28
  stay
• 17:28
  home
• 17:29
  as
• 17:29
  long
• 17:29
  as
• 17:29
  possible
• 17:30
  before
• 17:30
  kids
• 17:31
  turn
• 17:31
  three.
• 17:32
  So
• 17:32
  the
• 17:32
  author
• 17:32
  says,
• 17:33
  I
• 17:33
  am
• 17:33
  not
• 17:34
  an
• 17:34
  anti
• 17:34
  feminist.
• 17:35
  I
• 17:35
  believe
• 17:35
  in
• 17:36
  equal
• 17:36
  pay
• 17:36
  for
• 17:36
  equal
• 17:37
  work.
• 17:37
  I'm
• 17:37
  child
• 17:38
  centric,
• 17:39
  so
• 17:39
  it's
• 17:39
  different.
• 17:40
  But
• 17:40
  she
• 17:40
  says,
• 17:41
  if
• 17:41
  being
• 17:41
  a
• 17:42
  feminist
• 17:43
  means
• 17:43
  you
• 17:43
  can
• 17:43
  do
• 17:44
  whatever
• 17:44
  you
• 17:44
  want
• 17:44
  without
• 17:45
  considering
• 17:45
  the
• 17:46
  consequences
• 17:47
  for
• 17:47
  your
• 17:47
  child
• 17:48
  of
• 17:48
  your
• 17:48
  absence,
• 17:49
  that
• 17:49
  you
• 17:49
  can
• 17:50
  act
• 17:50
  without
• 17:50
  empathy
• 17:51
  for
• 17:51
  your
• 17:51
  child
• 17:52
  regarding
• 17:52
  the
• 17:52
  pain
• 17:53
  of
• 17:53
  their
• 17:53
  separation
• 17:54
  from
• 17:54
  you,
• 17:54
  then
• 17:55
  I
• 17:55
  guess
• 17:55
  I'm
• 17:55
  not
• 17:55
  a
• 17:56
  feminist.
• 17:56
  I'll
• 17:57
  be
• 17:57
  honest
• 17:57
  with
• 17:57
  you.
• 17:57
  Sometimes
• 17:58
  I
• 17:58
  feel
• 17:58
  like
• 17:58
  feminism
• 17:59
  has
• 17:59
  lost
• 17:59
  the
• 17:59
  plot
• 17:59
  because
• 18:00
  now
• 18:00
  I
• 18:01
  am
• 18:01
  expected
• 18:01
  to
• 18:02
  have
• 18:02
  a
• 18:02
  full
• 18:02
  time
• 18:02
  job
• 18:03
  and
• 18:03
  be
• 18:03
  a
• 18:03
  full
• 18:03
  time
• 18:04
  caretaker
• 18:05
  and
• 18:05
  manage
• 18:05
  a
• 18:05
  house,
• 18:06
  manage
• 18:06
  everything.
• 18:07
  And
• 18:08
  it's
• 18:08
  like
• 18:08
  I
• 18:08
  feel
• 18:08
  like
• 18:09
  I
• 18:09
  don't
• 18:09
  want
• 18:09
  all
• 18:09
  these
• 18:09
  jobs
• 18:10
  all
• 18:10
  at
• 18:10
  once.
• 18:11
  To
• 18:11
  be
• 18:11
  totally
• 18:12
  honest,
• 18:12
  it
• 18:12
  doesn't
• 18:13
  feel
• 18:14
  super
• 18:14
  realistic.
• 18:15
  There
• 18:15
  are
• 18:16
  moments
• 18:16
  like,
• 18:16
  again,
• 18:16
  I
• 18:17
  love
• 18:17
  equal
• 18:17
  pay
• 18:17
  for
• 18:18
  equal
• 18:18
  work.
• 18:18
  I
• 18:18
  love
• 18:18
  all
• 18:19
  of
• 18:19
  that.
• 18:19
  I
• 18:19
  love
• 18:19
  being
• 18:20
  able
• 18:20
  to
• 18:20
  vote.
• 18:21
  Don't
• 18:21
  get
• 18:21
  me
• 18:21
  wrong.
• 18:22
  But
• 18:22
  sometimes
• 18:22
  I'm
• 18:23
  like,
• 18:23
  girls,
• 18:24
  we.
• 18:25
  Not
• 18:25
  that
• 18:25
  we
• 18:25
  had
• 18:25
  it
• 18:25
  easy
• 18:26
  because
• 18:26
  we
• 18:26
  couldn't
• 18:26
  have
• 18:26
  credit
• 18:27
  cards
• 18:27
  and
• 18:27
  we
• 18:27
  couldn't
• 18:27
  get
• 18:28
  our
• 18:28
  own
• 18:28
  houses
• 18:28
  and
• 18:29
  like,
• 18:29
  there
• 18:29
  were
• 18:29
  all
• 18:29
  sorts
• 18:29
  of
• 18:30
  things.
• 18:30
  Not
• 18:30
  good,
• 18:30
  a
• 18:30
  lot
• 18:30
  of
• 18:31
  bad
• 18:31
  things,
• 18:31
  but
• 18:31
  modern
• 18:31
  feminism,
• 18:32
  Sometimes
• 18:32
  I'm
• 18:33
  like,
• 18:34
  do
• 18:34
  you
• 18:34
  have
• 18:35
  time
• 18:35
  to
• 18:36
  do
• 18:36
  all
• 18:36
  of
• 18:36
  this
• 18:37
  all
• 18:37
  at
• 18:37
  once?
• 18:38
  Well,
• 18:38
  what
• 18:39
  I
• 18:39
  was,
• 18:40
  I
• 18:40
  guess,
• 18:40
  objecting
• 18:41
  to
• 18:41
  is
• 18:42
  the
• 18:42
  characterization
• 18:44
  that
• 18:46
  women
• 18:46
  who
• 18:47
  go
• 18:47
  to
• 18:47
  work
• 18:48
  are
• 18:48
  doing
• 18:49
  that
• 18:49
  without
• 18:50
  considering
• 18:50
  the
• 18:50
  consequences
• 18:51
  of
• 18:51
  their
• 18:51
  child
• 18:52
  to
• 18:52
  their
• 18:52
  child.
• 18:52
  Yeah,
• 18:52
  I
• 18:52
  would
• 18:53
  argue
• 18:53
  there's
• 18:53
  a
• 18:53
  lot
• 18:53
  of
• 18:53
  guilt.
• 18:54
  Right.
• 18:56
  And
• 18:56
  they're
• 18:57
  being
• 18:57
  empathetic
• 18:58
  to
• 18:58
  their
• 18:58
  kids.
• 18:59
  I
• 18:59
  mean,
• 18:59
  I
• 18:59
  hated
• 19:00
  leaving
• 19:00
  you
• 19:00
  when
• 19:01
  I
• 19:01
  had
• 19:01
  to
• 19:01
  leave
• 19:01
  you
• 19:02
  go
• 19:02
  to
• 19:02
  work,
• 19:02
  but
• 19:03
  you
• 19:03
  left
• 19:03
  me
• 19:03
  with
• 19:03
  someone
• 19:03
  wonderful
• 19:04
  who
• 19:04
  I
• 19:04
  loved,
• 19:06
  who
• 19:06
  I
• 19:06
  to
• 19:06
  this
• 19:06
  day
• 19:07
  still
• 19:07
  love,
• 19:08
  who
• 19:08
  was
• 19:08
  like
• 19:09
  a
• 19:09
  third
• 19:09
  parent.
• 19:10
  You
• 19:10
  know
• 19:10
  what
• 19:10
  I
• 19:11
  mean?
• 19:11
  Like,
• 19:11
  I
• 19:11
  think
• 19:11
  this
• 19:11
  idea,
• 19:12
  like,
• 19:13
  maybe,
• 19:13
  maybe
• 19:14
  there
• 19:14
  is
• 19:14
  something
• 19:14
  different
• 19:14
  about
• 19:15
  having
• 19:15
  your
• 19:15
  mom
• 19:16
  home.
• 19:16
  But
• 19:17
  like,
• 19:17
  right
• 19:17
  now,
• 19:17
  like,
• 19:17
  my
• 19:18
  baby
• 19:18
  is
• 19:18
  with
• 19:18
  her
• 19:19
  other
• 19:19
  grandmother
• 19:20
  and
• 19:20
  that
• 19:20
  time
• 19:20
  is
• 19:20
  so
• 19:21
  good
• 19:21
  for
• 19:21
  her
• 19:21
  and
• 19:22
  so
• 19:22
  important
• 19:22
  to
• 19:23
  her
• 19:23
  and
• 19:23
  I
• 19:23
  think
• 19:23
  has
• 19:24
  contributed
• 19:24
  to
• 19:24
  her
• 19:24
  being
• 19:25
  well
• 19:25
  adjusted
• 19:26
  and
• 19:26
  like,
• 19:26
  being
• 19:27
  comfortable
• 19:27
  around
• 19:28
  people
• 19:29
  other
• 19:29
  than
• 19:29
  me
• 19:29
  and
• 19:29
  being
• 19:30
  happy
• 19:30
  to
• 19:30
  be
• 19:30
  with
• 19:31
  people
• 19:31
  other
• 19:31
  than
• 19:31
  me.
• 19:32
  And
• 19:32
  like,
• 19:32
  there
• 19:32
  are
• 19:33
  plenty
• 19:33
  of
• 19:33
  other
• 19:33
  books
• 19:33
  that
• 19:34
  argue
• 19:34
  if
• 19:34
  you
• 19:34
  spend
• 19:34
  all
• 19:35
  your
• 19:35
  time
• 19:35
  with
• 19:35
  your
• 19:35
  child
• 19:35
  and
• 19:36
  your
• 19:36
  child
• 19:36
  spends
• 19:36
  all
• 19:36
  their
• 19:36
  time
• 19:36
  with
• 19:37
  you,
• 19:37
  you
• 19:37
  guys
• 19:37
  are
• 19:38
  gonna
• 19:38
  get
• 19:38
  really
• 19:38
  sick
• 19:39
  of
• 19:39
  each
• 19:39
  other.
• 19:41
  And
• 19:41
  I
• 19:41
  was
• 19:41
  never
• 19:41
  sick
• 19:42
  of
• 19:42
  you.
• 19:42
  I
• 19:42
  was
• 19:42
  obsessed
• 19:43
  with
• 19:43
  you.
• 19:43
  You
• 19:43
  were?
• 19:44
  Yeah.
• 19:44
  Oh,
• 19:45
  thank
• 19:45
  you.
• 19:45
  I
• 19:45
  was.
• 19:46
  Oh,
• 19:46
  my
• 19:46
  God.
• 19:46
  I'm
• 19:46
  still
• 19:47
  obsessed
• 19:47
  with
• 19:47
  you
• 19:47
  tell
• 19:48
  me
• 19:48
  why
• 19:49
  I
• 19:49
  was.
• 19:49
  I
• 19:50
  mean,
• 19:50
  when
• 19:50
  you
• 19:50
  came
• 19:50
  home,
• 19:51
  I
• 19:51
  was
• 19:51
  so
• 19:51
  stoked
• 19:52
  to
• 19:52
  see
• 19:52
  you.
• 19:52
  I
• 19:53
  had
• 19:53
  missed
• 19:53
  you
• 19:53
  all
• 19:53
  day.
• 19:53
  I
• 19:53
  had
• 19:54
  stuff
• 19:54
  to
• 19:54
  share
• 19:54
  with
• 19:54
  you.
• 19:55
  I
• 19:55
  could
• 19:55
  tell
• 19:56
  you
• 19:56
  about
• 19:56
  my
• 19:56
  day.
• 19:57
  It's
• 19:57
  like
• 19:57
  couples
• 19:58
  who
• 19:58
  work
• 19:58
  together.
• 19:59
  Yeah.
• 19:59
  Their
• 19:59
  lives
• 20:00
  become
• 20:00
  all
• 20:00
  about
• 20:00
  business.
• 20:01
  Anytime
• 20:01
  they're
• 20:02
  with
• 20:02
  each
• 20:02
  other,
• 20:02
  they
• 20:02
  have
• 20:02
  a
• 20:03
  hard
• 20:03
  time
• 20:03
  separating
• 20:04
  because
• 20:04
  they
• 20:05
  are
• 20:05
  everything
• 20:06
  with
• 20:06
  each
• 20:06
  other
• 20:07
  and
• 20:07
  like
• 20:07
  that
• 20:07
  to
• 20:08
  me
• 20:08
  feels
• 20:08
  a
• 20:08
  little
• 20:09
  less
• 20:09
  healthy.
• 20:09
  And
• 20:10
  if
• 20:10
  there
• 20:10
  are
• 20:10
  other
• 20:10
  responsible,
• 20:11
  loving
• 20:11
  people
• 20:11
  in
• 20:12
  your
• 20:12
  child's
• 20:12
  life
• 20:12
  who
• 20:13
  can
• 20:13
  help
• 20:13
  you,
• 20:14
  support
• 20:14
  you
• 20:14
  and
• 20:15
  support
• 20:15
  your
• 20:15
  child,
• 20:16
  what
• 20:17
  is
• 20:17
  bad
• 20:18
  about
• 20:18
  that?
• 20:19
  I
• 20:19
  don't
• 20:19
  think
• 20:20
  anything
• 20:20
  is.
• 20:20
  I
• 20:21
  think
• 20:21
  that.
• 20:21
  And
• 20:21
  I
• 20:22
  think
• 20:22
  that
• 20:22
  parents
• 20:23
  who
• 20:24
  do
• 20:24
  go
• 20:24
  to
• 20:24
  work
• 20:25
  do
• 20:25
  their
• 20:25
  very
• 20:25
  best
• 20:26
  to
• 20:27
  arrange
• 20:27
  for
• 20:28
  the.
• 20:28
  The
• 20:28
  best
• 20:29
  child
• 20:30
  care
• 20:30
  they
• 20:30
  can.
• 20:30
  Yeah,
• 20:31
  whatever
• 20:31
  that
• 20:31
  is.
• 20:32
  Yeah,
• 20:32
  whatever
• 20:32
  that
• 20:32
  is.
• 20:33
  A
• 20:33
  babysitter
• 20:34
  or
• 20:34
  a
• 20:35
  daycare.
• 20:35
  Daycare.
• 20:36
  Like,
• 20:36
  although
• 20:37
  she
• 20:37
  doesn't
• 20:37
  like
• 20:37
  daycares
• 20:38
  because.
• 20:39
  No,
• 20:39
  because
• 20:40
  she
• 20:40
  doesn't
• 20:41
  like
• 20:41
  daycare
• 20:41
  because
• 20:42
  the
• 20:43
  people
• 20:43
  who
• 20:43
  work
• 20:43
  there
• 20:43
  aren't
• 20:44
  well
• 20:44
  trained,
• 20:44
  she
• 20:45
  says.
• 20:45
  And
• 20:45
  they've
• 20:46
  been
• 20:46
  to
• 20:47
  France.
• 20:47
  Well,
• 20:48
  that's
• 20:48
  true.
• 20:49
  She
• 20:49
  hasn't
• 20:50
  been
• 20:50
  to
• 20:50
  France.
• 20:51
  Or
• 20:51
  to
• 20:53
  Denmark.
• 20:54
  Oh
• 20:54
  yeah.
• 20:55
  Where
• 20:55
  Denmark
• 20:55
  will
• 20:55
  be
• 20:55
  the
• 20:56
  same.
• 20:56
  But
• 20:56
  anyway.
• 20:57
  But
• 20:57
  no,
• 20:57
  but
• 20:58
  in
• 20:58
  America
• 20:58
  they're
• 20:58
  not
• 20:59
  well
• 20:59
  trained
• 20:59
  and
• 21:00
  they.
• 21:01
  That's
• 21:01
  kind
• 21:01
  of,
• 21:01
  that's
• 21:02
  a
• 21:02
  really
• 21:02
  tough
• 21:02
  stance
• 21:03
  to
• 21:03
  take
• 21:03
  because
• 21:04
  a
• 21:04
  lot
• 21:04
  of
• 21:04
  families,
• 21:05
  that
• 21:05
  is
• 21:05
  their
• 21:05
  best,
• 21:06
  most
• 21:06
  economic
• 21:06
  option.
• 21:07
  And
• 21:08
  I
• 21:08
  just
• 21:08
  feel
• 21:08
  like
• 21:09
  we
• 21:09
  live
• 21:09
  in
• 21:09
  America,
• 21:10
  which
• 21:10
  is
• 21:10
  an
• 21:10
  incredibly
• 21:11
  developed
• 21:11
  country
• 21:12
  and
• 21:12
  yet
• 21:13
  we
• 21:14
  are
• 21:14
  like
• 21:14
  the
• 21:14
  furthest
• 21:15
  behind
• 21:16
  when
• 21:16
  it
• 21:16
  comes
• 21:16
  to
• 21:17
  childcare.
• 21:18
  That's
• 21:18
  another
• 21:18
  point
• 21:19
  I
• 21:19
  think
• 21:20
  she
• 21:20
  makes,
• 21:21
  and
• 21:21
  this
• 21:21
  is
• 21:21
  a
• 21:21
  really
• 21:21
  interesting
• 21:22
  one.
• 21:22
  She
• 21:22
  also
• 21:23
  brings
• 21:23
  up
• 21:23
  Romania.
• 21:25
  You
• 21:25
  know
• 21:25
  what
• 21:25
  drives
• 21:26
  me
• 21:26
  crazy
• 21:26
  about
• 21:27
  schools?
• 21:28
  When
• 21:28
  they're
• 21:28
  testing
• 21:29
  kids
• 21:29
  for
• 21:29
  gifted
• 21:30
  programs
• 21:30
  or
• 21:30
  private
• 21:31
  school
• 21:31
  admissions
• 21:31
  and
• 21:32
  they
• 21:32
  say,
• 21:33
  relax,
• 21:34
  don't
• 21:34
  prepare
• 21:34
  them,
• 21:35
  just
• 21:35
  leave
• 21:35
  it
• 21:35
  to
• 21:35
  chance.
• 21:36
  Are
• 21:37
  they
• 21:37
  crazy?
• 21:38
  Would
• 21:38
  you
• 21:39
  take
• 21:39
  an
• 21:39
  important
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  matter.
• 22:29
  That's
• 22:29
  another
• 22:30
  point
• 22:30
  I
• 22:30
  think
• 22:31
  she
• 22:31
  makes,
• 22:32
  and
• 22:32
  this
• 22:32
  is
• 22:32
  a
• 22:33
  really
• 22:33
  interesting
• 22:33
  one.
• 22:33
  She
• 22:34
  also
• 22:34
  brings
• 22:34
  up
• 22:34
  Romania,
• 22:35
  which
• 22:35
  is.
• 22:36
  Oh
• 22:36
  yeah.
• 22:37
  Fascinating
• 22:37
  because
• 22:38
  I
• 22:38
  think
• 22:38
  a
• 22:38
  couple.
• 22:39
  So
• 22:39
  the
• 22:39
  story
• 22:39
  with
• 22:40
  Romania,
• 22:40
  just
• 22:40
  really
• 22:40
  quick
• 22:41
  abridged,
• 22:41
  is
• 22:41
  that
• 22:42
  in
• 22:42
  the
• 22:42
  60s
• 22:42
  there
• 22:42
  was
• 22:43
  this
• 22:43
  dictator
• 22:44
  and
• 22:44
  he
• 22:45
  had
• 22:45
  this
• 22:45
  idea
• 22:46
  that
• 22:46
  the
• 22:47
  birth
• 22:47
  rate
• 22:47
  was
• 22:48
  too
• 22:48
  low,
• 22:48
  that
• 22:48
  there
• 22:48
  weren't
• 22:49
  enough
• 22:49
  people
• 22:49
  and
• 22:49
  the
• 22:49
  economy
• 22:50
  was
• 22:50
  suffering.
• 22:51
  So
• 22:51
  he
• 22:51
  decided
• 22:52
  to
• 22:53
  outlaw
• 22:53
  abortion
• 22:54
  and
• 22:54
  in
• 22:55
  the
• 22:55
  interest
• 22:55
  of
• 22:56
  having
• 22:56
  more
• 22:56
  people
• 22:57
  to
• 22:57
  shore
• 22:58
  up
• 22:58
  the
• 22:58
  workforce.
• 22:59
  But
• 23:00
  what
• 23:00
  he
• 23:01
  didn't
• 23:01
  do,
• 23:02
  and
• 23:02
  which
• 23:02
  is
• 23:02
  an
• 23:03
  issue
• 23:03
  in
• 23:03
  our
• 23:03
  country
• 23:03
  as
• 23:04
  well,
• 23:04
  is
• 23:05
  consider
• 23:05
  the
• 23:05
  fact
• 23:05
  that
• 23:06
  a
• 23:06
  child
• 23:06
  born
• 23:07
  is
• 23:07
  not
• 23:07
  a
• 23:07
  child
• 23:07
  support
• 23:08
  supported
• 23:08
  is
• 23:08
  not
• 23:09
  a
• 23:09
  child
• 23:09
  cared
• 23:09
  for
• 23:10
  necessarily.
• 23:11
  And
• 23:11
  there
• 23:11
  were
• 23:11
  so
• 23:12
  many
• 23:12
  families
• 23:12
  living
• 23:13
  below
• 23:13
  the
• 23:13
  poverty
• 23:13
  line
• 23:14
  at
• 23:14
  the
• 23:14
  time
• 23:14
  in
• 23:14
  Romania
• 23:15
  that
• 23:15
  so
• 23:15
  many
• 23:16
  of
• 23:16
  these
• 23:16
  children
• 23:16
  ended
• 23:17
  up
• 23:17
  orphaned.
• 23:18
  And
• 23:18
  not
• 23:18
  only
• 23:18
  orphaned,
• 23:19
  but
• 23:19
  because
• 23:20
  of
• 23:20
  how
• 23:21
  many
• 23:21
  orphans
• 23:22
  there
• 23:22
  were.
• 23:22
  The
• 23:22
  orphanages
• 23:23
  were
• 23:23
  overrun
• 23:24
  and
• 23:24
  so
• 23:25
  many
• 23:25
  of
• 23:25
  these
• 23:25
  kids
• 23:26
  got
• 23:26
  no
• 23:27
  attention
• 23:28
  as
• 23:28
  little
• 23:29
  children.
• 23:29
  And
• 23:29
  I
• 23:29
  remember
• 23:30
  when
• 23:30
  this
• 23:30
  happened.
• 23:30
  Yeah.
• 23:31
  I
• 23:31
  was,
• 23:31
  I
• 23:31
  was
• 23:32
  an
• 23:32
  adult
• 23:33
  when
• 23:33
  this
• 23:33
  was
• 23:33
  all
• 23:33
  happening.
• 23:34
  And
• 23:34
  these
• 23:34
  children
• 23:35
  were
• 23:35
  in
• 23:35
  these
• 23:35
  orphanages
• 23:36
  and
• 23:36
  they
• 23:36
  were
• 23:36
  getting
• 23:37
  no
• 23:37
  attention.
• 23:37
  Yeah.
• 23:38
  And
• 23:38
  they
• 23:38
  were
• 23:39
  not
• 23:39
  developing
• 23:40
  psychologically.
• 23:42
  So
• 23:42
  he
• 23:42
  created
• 23:43
  this
• 23:44
  generation
• 23:45
  of
• 23:45
  people
• 23:46
  who
• 23:47
  couldn't.
• 23:47
  Not
• 23:48
  only
• 23:48
  could
• 23:48
  they
• 23:48
  not
• 23:48
  work,
• 23:48
  but
• 23:49
  they
• 23:49
  suffered.
• 23:49
  They
• 23:50
  suffered
• 23:50
  much
• 23:50
  higher
• 23:50
  rates
• 23:51
  of
• 23:51
  addiction
• 23:52
  and
• 23:53
  other
• 23:54
  psychological
• 23:55
  problems.
• 23:56
  And
• 23:56
  it's
• 23:56
  like
• 23:57
  in
• 23:57
  this
• 23:57
  country,
• 23:57
  it's
• 23:57
  sort
• 23:57
  of
• 23:58
  the
• 23:58
  same
• 23:58
  thing
• 23:58
  where
• 23:58
  we're
• 23:58
  like,
• 23:59
  have
• 23:59
  more
• 23:59
  kids.
• 24:00
  Everybody
• 24:00
  have
• 24:00
  kids.
• 24:01
  And
• 24:01
  it's
• 24:01
  like,
• 24:01
  well,
• 24:02
  who's
• 24:02
  going
• 24:02
  to
• 24:02
  pay
• 24:02
  for
• 24:03
  these
• 24:03
  kids?
• 24:04
  Who's
• 24:04
  gonna
• 24:05
  put
• 24:05
  them
• 24:05
  in
• 24:05
  daycare
• 24:06
  and
• 24:06
  in
• 24:06
  school?
• 24:06
  There
• 24:06
  aren't
• 24:07
  enough
• 24:07
  spots
• 24:07
  in
• 24:07
  daycare.
• 24:08
  Like,
• 24:09
  it's
• 24:09
  like,
• 24:09
  you
• 24:10
  can't
• 24:10
  just
• 24:11
  ask
• 24:11
  people
• 24:11
  to
• 24:12
  do
• 24:12
  this
• 24:12
  and
• 24:12
  then
• 24:12
  offer
• 24:13
  them
• 24:13
  no
• 24:13
  support.
• 24:14
  And
• 24:15
  she
• 24:15
  was
• 24:15
  not
• 24:15
  right.
• 24:16
  And
• 24:16
  she
• 24:16
  was
• 24:16
  using
• 24:16
  this
• 24:17
  example
• 24:17
  to
• 24:18
  show
• 24:18
  too
• 24:19
  that
• 24:19
  these
• 24:19
  children
• 24:20
  were
• 24:21
  separated
• 24:21
  from
• 24:21
  their
• 24:22
  mothers
• 24:22
  as
• 24:22
  babies
• 24:23
  and
• 24:23
  infants
• 24:24
  and
• 24:24
  weren't
• 24:25
  getting
• 24:25
  any
• 24:25
  attention.
• 24:26
  And
• 24:27
  they
• 24:27
  did
• 24:27
  grow
• 24:28
  up
• 24:28
  to
• 24:28
  have
• 24:28
  all
• 24:29
  kinds
• 24:29
  of
• 24:29
  problems.
• 24:29
  Yeah.
• 24:30
  Many
• 24:30
  of
• 24:30
  them.
• 24:30
  That's
• 24:30
  an
• 24:31
  extreme
• 24:31
  case.
• 24:31
  It
• 24:32
  was
• 24:32
  an
• 24:32
  extreme
• 24:32
  situation.
• 24:33
  Yeah.
• 24:33
  And
• 24:34
  many
• 24:34
  of
• 24:34
  them
• 24:34
  were
• 24:34
  actually
• 24:35
  adopte
• 24:35
  the
• 24:36
  United
• 24:36
  States.
• 24:36
  And
• 24:37
  when
• 24:37
  they
• 24:37
  got
• 24:37
  here,
• 24:37
  they
• 24:38
  had
• 24:38
  a
• 24:38
  lot
• 24:38
  of
• 24:38
  problems.
• 24:39
  And
• 24:39
  you
• 24:40
  know,
• 24:40
  so
• 24:40
  it's
• 24:41
  deeply
• 24:41
  unfair.
• 24:42
  Right.
• 24:42
  And
• 24:42
  that
• 24:43
  was
• 24:43
  the.
• 24:43
  One
• 24:43
  of
• 24:43
  the
• 24:44
  most
• 24:44
  extreme
• 24:45
  cases
• 24:45
  of
• 24:45
  children.
• 24:46
  That's
• 24:46
  not
• 24:46
  as
• 24:47
  extreme
• 24:47
  as
• 24:47
  it
• 24:47
  gets.
• 24:48
  Yeah.
• 24:48
  Women
• 24:48
  who
• 24:49
  have
• 24:49
  babies,
• 24:49
  if
• 24:50
  they
• 24:50
  go
• 24:50
  to
• 24:50
  work
• 24:51
  are
• 24:51
  not
• 24:51
  just
• 24:52
  ignoring
• 24:53
  their
• 24:53
  children.
• 24:53
  Yeah.
• 24:54
  They're
• 24:54
  not
• 24:54
  abandoning
• 24:54
  that.
• 24:55
  They're
• 24:55
  not.
• 24:55
  And
• 24:56
  also,
• 24:56
  again,
• 24:56
  you're
• 24:56
  not
• 24:56
  considering
• 24:57
  like
• 24:57
  the
• 24:57
  socioeconomic
• 24:58
  elements
• 24:59
  of
• 24:59
  this.
• 24:59
  We're
• 25:00
  like,
• 25:00
  I'm
• 25:00
  sure
• 25:00
  these
• 25:00
  moms
• 25:01
  didn't
• 25:01
  want
• 25:02
  to
• 25:02
  abandon
• 25:02
  their
• 25:02
  children,
• 25:03
  but
• 25:03
  like,
• 25:03
  so
• 25:04
  many
• 25:04
  of
• 25:04
  them
• 25:04
  couldn't
• 25:05
  afford
• 25:05
  to
• 25:05
  feed
• 25:06
  themselves.
• 25:07
  Right.
• 25:07
  And
• 25:07
  I
• 25:07
  get.
• 25:08
  And
• 25:08
  that
• 25:08
  I
• 25:08
  can't
• 25:09
  even
• 25:09
  imagine.
• 25:10
  Well,
• 25:11
  okay,
• 25:11
  so
• 25:12
  she
• 25:12
  gets.
• 25:13
  When
• 25:14
  she
• 25:14
  starts
• 25:14
  the
• 25:14
  book,
• 25:15
  she
• 25:15
  really
• 25:16
  gets
• 25:16
  into
• 25:16
  the
• 25:16
  fact
• 25:16
  that,
• 25:17
  you
• 25:17
  know,
• 25:18
  just
• 25:19
  hitting
• 25:19
  this,
• 25:19
  this
• 25:20
  point
• 25:20
  over
• 25:20
  and
• 25:20
  over,
• 25:21
  which
• 25:21
  is
• 25:21
  the
• 25:21
  first
• 25:21
  three
• 25:22
  years
• 25:22
  of
• 25:22
  a
• 25:23
  child's
• 25:23
  life.
• 25:23
  A
• 25:24
  mom's
• 25:24
  physical
• 25:24
  presence
• 25:25
  is
• 25:25
  best.
• 25:26
  This
• 25:26
  is
• 25:26
  a
• 25:26
  formative
• 25:28
  window
• 25:28
  for
• 25:28
  kids.
• 25:29
  If
• 25:29
  you
• 25:29
  can
• 25:29
  possibly
• 25:30
  not
• 25:30
  work,
• 25:31
  if
• 25:31
  you
• 25:31
  can
• 25:31
  work
• 25:31
  part
• 25:32
  time,
• 25:32
  if
• 25:33
  you
• 25:33
  can
• 25:33
  work
• 25:33
  from
• 25:33
  home,
• 25:34
  do
• 25:34
  it
• 25:34
  that
• 25:34
  way.
• 25:35
  And
• 25:36
  all
• 25:36
  moms
• 25:36
  should
• 25:37
  reconsider
• 25:37
  the
• 25:37
  amount
• 25:38
  of
• 25:38
  time
• 25:38
  you
• 25:38
  commit
• 25:38
  to
• 25:39
  a
• 25:39
  job
• 25:39
  or
• 25:40
  anything
• 25:40
  besides
• 25:41
  being
• 25:41
  there
• 25:41
  with
• 25:41
  your
• 25:42
  baby.
• 25:42
  And
• 25:43
  she
• 25:43
  spends
• 25:43
  the
• 25:43
  whole.
• 25:44
  Chapter
• 25:44
  two
• 25:44
  debunking
• 25:45
  many
• 25:46
  mothering
• 25:47
  myths,
• 25:48
  such
• 25:48
  as.
• 25:48
  And
• 25:49
  again,
• 25:49
  these
• 25:49
  were
• 25:49
  not
• 25:50
  mothering
• 25:50
  myths
• 25:51
  in
• 25:51
  my
• 25:51
  mind.
• 25:51
  But
• 25:52
  here's
• 25:52
  one.
• 25:53
  Myth
• 25:53
  two.
• 25:53
  I
• 25:54
  can
• 25:54
  only
• 25:54
  be
• 25:54
  a
• 25:55
  good
• 25:55
  mother
• 25:55
  if
• 25:55
  I
• 25:56
  neglect
• 25:56
  my
• 25:56
  own
• 25:57
  needs.
• 25:58
  I
• 25:58
  didn't
• 25:58
  think
• 25:58
  that.
• 25:59
  Yeah.
• 25:59
  Myth
• 25:59
  six,
• 26:00
  newborns
• 26:01
  are
• 26:01
  boring.
• 26:02
  And
• 26:02
  besides,
• 26:03
  it's
• 26:03
  better
• 26:03
  to
• 26:03
  be
• 26:04
  with
• 26:04
  my
• 26:04
  baby
• 26:04
  when
• 26:04
  she
• 26:04
  can
• 26:05
  interact
• 26:05
  with
• 26:05
  me
• 26:06
  again.
• 26:07
  I
• 26:07
  never
• 26:07
  thought
• 26:07
  that.
• 26:08
  But
• 26:08
  myth
• 26:09
  12,
• 26:09
  I'll
• 26:10
  spoil
• 26:10
  my
• 26:10
  baby
• 26:10
  if
• 26:11
  I
• 26:11
  hold
• 26:11
  her
• 26:11
  too
• 26:11
  much.
• 26:12
  So
• 26:12
  there
• 26:12
  were
• 26:12
  a
• 26:12
  lot
• 26:12
  of
• 26:12
  myths
• 26:13
  that
• 26:13
  were
• 26:13
  debunked
• 26:14
  that
• 26:14
  I
• 26:14
  don't
• 26:14
  think
• 26:14
  are
• 26:15
  really
• 26:15
  myths
• 26:15
  that.
• 26:15
  Well,
• 26:16
  maybe.
• 26:16
  I
• 26:16
  don't
• 26:16
  know.
• 26:17
  I
• 26:17
  mean,
• 26:17
  I
• 26:17
  can't
• 26:17
  speak
• 26:18
  for
• 26:18
  everyone.
• 26:18
  I.
• 26:18
  I've
• 26:19
  never.
• 26:20
  Well,
• 26:21
  I
• 26:21
  mean,
• 26:22
  I.
• 26:22
  I
• 26:22
  don't
• 26:22
  think
• 26:23
  so.
• 26:23
  I
• 26:23
  don't
• 26:24
  think
• 26:24
  I
• 26:24
  ever
• 26:24
  thought
• 26:24
  any
• 26:24
  of
• 26:25
  this
• 26:25
  stuff.
• 26:25
  But
• 26:26
  I
• 26:26
  also,
• 26:26
  like,
• 26:27
  read
• 26:27
  books.
• 26:28
  Okay.
• 26:28
  You
• 26:28
  know,
• 26:29
  I
• 26:29
  didn't
• 26:29
  just
• 26:30
  go
• 26:30
  into
• 26:30
  it
• 26:30
  like
• 26:31
  totally
• 26:32
  blind.
• 26:33
  Right,
• 26:33
  Right.
• 26:34
  Well,
• 26:34
  she
• 26:34
  says,
• 26:35
  you
• 26:35
  know,
• 26:35
  the
• 26:35
  goal,
• 26:35
  look,
• 26:36
  is
• 26:36
  to
• 26:36
  just
• 26:36
  be
• 26:37
  physically
• 26:37
  and
• 26:38
  emotionally
• 26:39
  there
• 26:39
  for
• 26:39
  your
• 26:40
  child
• 26:40
  and
• 26:40
  just.
• 26:41
  And
• 26:41
  she
• 26:41
  said
• 26:41
  if
• 26:41
  you're
• 26:42
  a
• 26:42
  stay
• 26:42
  at
• 26:42
  home
• 26:42
  mom
• 26:43
  who
• 26:43
  is
• 26:43
  bored,
• 26:44
  depressed,
• 26:44
  overwhelmed,
• 26:45
  or
• 26:45
  distracted,
• 26:46
  then
• 26:46
  that
• 26:46
  will
• 26:46
  be
• 26:46
  bad
• 26:47
  for
• 26:47
  your
• 26:47
  child
• 26:47
  too.
• 26:48
  Yeah.
• 26:48
  So
• 26:48
  you
• 26:48
  have
• 26:49
  to
• 26:49
  be
• 26:49
  emotionally
• 26:50
  there
• 26:50
  for
• 26:50
  them
• 26:50
  and
• 26:51
  physically
• 26:51
  present
• 26:52
  is
• 26:52
  both.
• 26:53
  And
• 26:53
  they
• 26:53
  all.
• 26:53
  She
• 26:53
  also
• 26:54
  mentioned
• 26:54
  that
• 26:54
  sometimes
• 26:55
  signs
• 26:56
  of
• 26:56
  postpartum
• 26:57
  depression
• 26:57
  are
• 26:58
  if
• 26:58
  you
• 26:58
  find
• 26:58
  yourself
• 26:59
  very
• 26:59
  bored
• 27:00
  with
• 27:00
  your
• 27:00
  infant.
• 27:00
  And
• 27:01
  I'm
• 27:01
  like,
• 27:01
  I
• 27:01
  mean,
• 27:02
  maybe,
• 27:02
  but
• 27:03
  they
• 27:03
  do
• 27:03
  sleep
• 27:04
  a
• 27:04
  lot.
• 27:04
  Well,
• 27:05
  they
• 27:05
  do.
• 27:05
  Yeah,
• 27:06
  they
• 27:06
  do.
• 27:08
  Right?
• 27:10
  So,
• 27:11
  yeah,
• 27:11
  I
• 27:11
  mean,
• 27:11
  that's,
• 27:12
  that's.
• 27:12
  Yeah,
• 27:13
  she
• 27:13
  said
• 27:13
  you
• 27:13
  shouldn't
• 27:13
  feel
• 27:14
  bored.
• 27:14
  Yeah,
• 27:15
  yeah.
• 27:15
  I
• 27:15
  mean,
• 27:16
  listen,
• 27:16
  like,
• 27:16
  my
• 27:16
  baby
• 27:17
  is
• 27:17
  endlessly
• 27:17
  fascinating.
• 27:18
  I
• 27:18
  just,
• 27:18
  I
• 27:18
  can't
• 27:19
  speak
• 27:19
  for
• 27:19
  every
• 27:19
  baby
• 27:20
  that
• 27:21
  ever
• 27:21
  existed.
• 27:21
  But
• 27:22
  then
• 27:22
  she
• 27:22
  sort
• 27:22
  of
• 27:23
  addresses,
• 27:23
  you
• 27:24
  know,
• 27:24
  couples
• 27:24
  where
• 27:25
  there
• 27:25
  are
• 27:25
  two
• 27:25
  fathers,
• 27:26
  and
• 27:27
  she
• 27:27
  says
• 27:28
  one
• 27:28
  father
• 27:28
  needs
• 27:29
  to
• 27:29
  take
• 27:29
  on
• 27:29
  the
• 27:30
  role
• 27:30
  of
• 27:30
  mother,
• 27:31
  which
• 27:31
  in
• 27:31
  her
• 27:32
  mind
• 27:32
  is
• 27:32
  the
• 27:32
  nurturer,
• 27:33
  the
• 27:34
  empathetic.
• 27:34
  Presence.
• 27:35
  And,
• 27:36
  you
• 27:36
  know,
• 27:37
  it's
• 27:37
  interesting
• 27:37
  if.
• 27:37
  If.
• 27:38
  And
• 27:38
  I
• 27:38
  thought
• 27:38
  to
• 27:39
  myself,
• 27:39
  you
• 27:39
  know,
• 27:40
  if
• 27:40
  this
• 27:40
  is
• 27:41
  the
• 27:41
  arrangement.
• 27:42
  Right.
• 27:42
  If
• 27:43
  one
• 27:43
  father
• 27:43
  can
• 27:44
  do
• 27:44
  this,
• 27:44
  why
• 27:44
  can't
• 27:45
  any
• 27:45
  father
• 27:46
  take
• 27:47
  on
• 27:47
  this
• 27:47
  role?
• 27:47
  And
• 27:48
  that's
• 27:48
  true.
• 27:48
  You're
• 27:49
  right,
• 27:49
  you
• 27:49
  know.
• 27:49
  Yeah,
• 27:49
  of
• 27:50
  course.
• 27:50
  Well,
• 27:50
  she
• 27:50
  said,
• 27:50
  she
• 27:51
  talks
• 27:51
  about
• 27:51
  how
• 27:52
  women
• 27:52
  have
• 27:53
  oxytocin,
• 27:54
  which
• 27:54
  is
• 27:55
  the
• 27:55
  trust
• 27:55
  or
• 27:55
  bonding
• 27:56
  hormone.
• 27:57
  Men
• 27:57
  have
• 27:58
  vasopressin,
• 27:59
  a
• 27:59
  more
• 28:00
  aggressive,
• 28:00
  playful,
• 28:01
  stimulating
• 28:01
  hormone.
• 28:02
  And
• 28:02
  that's
• 28:03
  why
• 28:03
  men
• 28:03
  are
• 28:03
  more
• 28:04
  playful
• 28:04
  with
• 28:04
  kids,
• 28:05
  which
• 28:05
  is
• 28:05
  true.
• 28:05
  I
• 28:06
  mean,
• 28:06
  true.
• 28:06
  Yeah.
• 28:06
  You
• 28:07
  know,
• 28:07
  dad
• 28:07
  used
• 28:07
  to
• 28:07
  throw
• 28:08
  you
• 28:08
  up
• 28:08
  in
• 28:08
  the
• 28:08
  air.
• 28:09
  I
• 28:09
  mean,
• 28:09
  he
• 28:09
  was
• 28:10
  turning
• 28:10
  you
• 28:10
  upside
• 28:10
  down.
• 28:11
  Yeah.
• 28:11
  You
• 28:11
  loved
• 28:12
  it.
• 28:12
  Loved
• 28:12
  it.
• 28:14
  And
• 28:14
  I
• 28:14
  noticed
• 28:14
  your
• 28:14
  daughter
• 28:15
  is
• 28:15
  being
• 28:15
  turned
• 28:16
  upside
• 28:16
  down
• 28:16
  by
• 28:17
  her
• 28:17
  father.
• 28:18
  What
• 28:18
  is
• 28:18
  that
• 28:18
  with
• 28:18
  Ben?
• 28:19
  I
• 28:19
  don't
• 28:19
  know.
• 28:20
  She's
• 28:20
  a
• 28:20
  bat.
• 28:21
  She
• 28:21
  likes
• 28:21
  to
• 28:22
  be
• 28:22
  a
• 28:22
  bat.
• 28:22
  She
• 28:22
  likes
• 28:23
  to
• 28:23
  be
• 28:23
  upside
• 28:23
  down
• 28:23
  and
• 28:24
  then
• 28:24
  put
• 28:24
  the
• 28:24
  soles
• 28:24
  of
• 28:25
  her
• 28:25
  feet
• 28:25
  together
• 28:25
  and
• 28:26
  just
• 28:26
  hang.
• 28:27
  It's
• 28:27
  really
• 28:28
  funny.
• 28:28
  She
• 28:28
  loves
• 28:29
  it.
• 28:29
  She
• 28:29
  goes
• 28:29
  absolutely
• 28:30
  crazy
• 28:30
  for
• 28:30
  it.
• 28:31
  Well,
• 28:31
  anyway,
• 28:33
  but
• 28:33
  you're
• 28:33
  right
• 28:33
  about
• 28:34
  that,
• 28:34
  is
• 28:34
  if
• 28:34
  a
• 28:34
  man
• 28:35
  can,
• 28:35
  you
• 28:35
  know,
• 28:36
  a
• 28:36
  man
• 28:36
  can
• 28:36
  also
• 28:36
  be
• 28:37
  warm
• 28:37
  and
• 28:38
  loving
• 28:38
  and
• 28:39
  could
• 28:40
  give
• 28:40
  that
• 28:40
  vibe
• 28:40
  off.
• 28:41
  That's
• 28:41
  true.
• 28:41
  She
• 28:41
  also
• 28:42
  says
• 28:42
  that
• 28:43
  in
• 28:43
  situations
• 28:44
  like
• 28:44
  that,
• 28:44
  it's
• 28:44
  good
• 28:44
  if
• 28:45
  you
• 28:45
  can
• 28:45
  get,
• 28:45
  I
• 28:46
  guess,
• 28:46
  a
• 28:46
  prescription
• 28:47
  for
• 28:47
  nasal
• 28:48
  oxytocin.
• 28:49
  Why
• 28:49
  aren't
• 28:50
  we
• 28:50
  just
• 28:50
  giving
• 28:50
  this
• 28:50
  to
• 28:51
  everyone?
• 28:51
  Oh,
• 28:52
  yeah.
• 28:52
  I
• 28:52
  feel
• 28:53
  like
• 28:53
  everyone.
• 28:53
  We
• 28:54
  should
• 28:54
  be
• 28:54
  putting
• 28:54
  this
• 28:54
  in
• 28:55
  the
• 28:55
  water.
• 28:55
  Right?
• 28:56
  Everyone
• 28:56
  would
• 28:56
  be
• 28:57
  so
• 28:57
  much
• 28:58
  happier
• 28:58
  and
• 28:59
  nicer
• 28:59
  and
• 29:00
  warmer
• 29:00
  and
• 29:00
  more
• 29:01
  nurturing
• 29:01
  to
• 29:01
  each
• 29:02
  other.
• 29:02
  If
• 29:02
  we
• 29:02
  have
• 29:03
  this
• 29:03
  ability,
• 29:04
  why
• 29:04
  are
• 29:04
  we
• 29:04
  not
• 29:04
  utilizing.
• 29:05
  I
• 29:05
  don't
• 29:05
  know.
• 29:06
  Everyone
• 29:06
  should
• 29:06
  be
• 29:06
  spraying
• 29:07
  it
• 29:07
  in
• 29:07
  their
• 29:07
  nose.
• 29:08
  I
• 29:08
  would
• 29:08
  like
• 29:08
  some
• 29:10
  anyway.
• 29:11
  Well,
• 29:11
  and
• 29:13
  she
• 29:13
  talks
• 29:13
  a
• 29:13
  lot
• 29:14
  about
• 29:14
  attachment
• 29:15
  theory,
• 29:15
  which
• 29:16
  is
• 29:16
  big.
• 29:17
  And
• 29:17
  she
• 29:18
  says,
• 29:19
  first
• 29:19
  of
• 29:19
  all,
• 29:19
  bonding
• 29:20
  is
• 29:20
  just.
• 29:21
  It
• 29:22
  requires
• 29:22
  skin
• 29:23
  to
• 29:24
  skin,
• 29:24
  eye
• 29:24
  to
• 29:25
  eye
• 29:25
  contact,
• 29:26
  but
• 29:27
  attachment
• 29:27
  takes
• 29:28
  about
• 29:28
  18
• 29:29
  months.
• 29:30
  And
• 29:30
  that's
• 29:31
  just.
• 29:31
  If
• 29:31
  you're
• 29:31
  with
• 29:31
  your
• 29:32
  child
• 29:32
  all
• 29:32
  the
• 29:32
  time,
• 29:35
  you
• 29:35
  know,
• 29:35
  you.
• 29:35
  You
• 29:35
  will
• 29:36
  become
• 29:36
  more
• 29:36
  attached
• 29:37
  to
• 29:37
  your
• 29:37
  child.
• 29:38
  And
• 29:39
  the
• 29:39
  child
• 29:39
  believes,
• 29:40
  if
• 29:41
  a
• 29:41
  child
• 29:41
  is
• 29:41
  securely
• 29:42
  attached,
• 29:42
  they
• 29:43
  believe
• 29:43
  they.
• 29:44
  That
• 29:44
  the
• 29:44
  person
• 29:44
  caring
• 29:45
  for
• 29:45
  them
• 29:45
  can
• 29:45
  be
• 29:45
  trusted.
• 29:46
  And
• 29:46
  they
• 29:46
  will
• 29:46
  take
• 29:47
  care
• 29:47
  of
• 29:47
  me.
• 29:47
  Yes.
• 29:48
  And
• 29:48
  that's
• 29:48
  how
• 29:49
  they
• 29:49
  help.
• 29:49
  Or
• 29:50
  that's.
• 29:50
  That
• 29:50
  helps
• 29:51
  them
• 29:52
  develop
• 29:52
  object
• 29:53
  permanence
• 29:54
  so
• 29:54
  that
• 29:54
  they
• 29:54
  learn.
• 29:55
  Okay,
• 29:55
  my
• 29:56
  mom
• 29:56
  can
• 29:56
  leave
• 29:56
  the
• 29:57
  room,
• 29:57
  but
• 29:57
  I
• 29:58
  know
• 29:58
  she'll
• 29:58
  come
• 29:58
  back.
• 29:58
  Right.
• 29:59
  Right.
• 29:59
  If
• 29:59
  they're
• 30:00
  securely
• 30:00
  attached.
• 30:01
  And
• 30:01
  it
• 30:02
  means
• 30:02
  later
• 30:02
  they
• 30:02
  can.
• 30:03
  They
• 30:03
  can
• 30:03
  be
• 30:03
  more
• 30:04
  independent
• 30:04
  if
• 30:04
  they
• 30:05
  are
• 30:05
  securely
• 30:05
  attached.
• 30:06
  So
• 30:06
  it's
• 30:06
  a
• 30:06
  really
• 30:06
  important,
• 30:06
  important
• 30:07
  step
• 30:07
  for
• 30:07
  children
• 30:07
  to
• 30:08
  have.
• 30:09
  I
• 30:10
  feel
• 30:10
  like
• 30:10
  that
• 30:10
  tracks.
• 30:11
  Yeah,
• 30:12
  that
• 30:12
  does
• 30:12
  track
• 30:12
  to
• 30:13
  me.
• 30:14
  And.
• 30:14
  But
• 30:14
  she
• 30:14
  says,
• 30:15
  you
• 30:15
  know,
• 30:15
  babies
• 30:15
  know
• 30:16
  the
• 30:16
  difference
• 30:16
  between
• 30:16
  their
• 30:17
  mothers
• 30:17
  and
• 30:17
  everyone
• 30:17
  else.
• 30:18
  And
• 30:19
  mothers
• 30:19
  are
• 30:19
  uniquely
• 30:20
  important
• 30:20
  to
• 30:21
  babies,
• 30:21
  which
• 30:21
  also
• 30:22
  tracks,
• 30:23
  you
• 30:23
  know,
• 30:23
  I
• 30:23
  mean,
• 30:23
  like,
• 30:24
  we
• 30:24
  spend
• 30:26
  10
• 30:27
  months,
• 30:27
  let's
• 30:27
  call
• 30:28
  it
• 30:28
  what
• 30:28
  it
• 30:28
  is.
• 30:28
  Pregnancy
• 30:29
  is
• 30:29
  basically
• 30:29
  10
• 30:29
  months.
• 30:29
  Yeah,
• 30:30
  right.
• 30:31
  You
• 30:31
  know,
• 30:31
  as
• 30:32
  a
• 30:32
  part
• 30:32
  of
• 30:32
  our
• 30:33
  mom.
• 30:34
  Right.
• 30:34
  And
• 30:34
  like,
• 30:34
  you
• 30:35
  know,
• 30:35
  so
• 30:35
  you
• 30:35
  recognize
• 30:36
  her
• 30:36
  voice,
• 30:36
  you
• 30:37
  recognize
• 30:37
  her
• 30:37
  scent,
• 30:38
  you
• 30:38
  recognize
• 30:39
  there's
• 30:40
  just
• 30:40
  more
• 30:40
  there
• 30:41
  because
• 30:41
  you
• 30:41
  probably,
• 30:42
  like,
• 30:42
  share
• 30:43
  more
• 30:44
  with
• 30:45
  her,
• 30:45
  right?
• 30:45
  Absolutely.
• 30:46
  So
• 30:46
  you
• 30:46
  are.
• 30:47
  You
• 30:47
  do
• 30:47
  recognize
• 30:48
  her.
• 30:49
  And
• 30:49
  she
• 30:50
  does
• 30:50
  say
• 30:51
  that
• 30:51
  there's
• 30:52
  no
• 30:52
  such
• 30:52
  thing
• 30:52
  as
• 30:53
  quality
• 30:53
  time
• 30:54
  with
• 30:54
  babies.
• 30:55
  That
• 30:55
  the
• 30:55
  average
• 30:56
  working
• 30:56
  mother
• 30:57
  spends
• 30:57
  90
• 30:57
  minutes
• 30:58
  a
• 30:58
  day
• 30:58
  with
• 30:58
  her
• 30:58
  child
• 30:59
  after
• 30:59
  a
• 30:59
  long
• 31:00
  day
• 31:00
  at
• 31:00
  work.
• 31:01
  And
• 31:01
  we
• 31:01
  aren't
• 31:01
  at
• 31:02
  our
• 31:02
  best
• 31:02
  if
• 31:02
  we
• 31:02
  are
• 31:03
  tired
• 31:03
  after
• 31:04
  work.
• 31:04
  And
• 31:05
  I
• 31:05
  don't
• 31:05
  know,
• 31:05
  I
• 31:06
  was
• 31:06
  trying
• 31:06
  to
• 31:06
  think
• 31:06
  back,
• 31:07
  like,
• 31:07
  okay,
• 31:07
  I
• 31:08
  used
• 31:08
  to
• 31:08
  spend
• 31:08
  time
• 31:08
  in
• 31:09
  the
• 31:09
  morning
• 31:09
  with
• 31:09
  you
• 31:09
  guys,
• 31:10
  then
• 31:10
  I
• 31:11
  would
• 31:11
  go
• 31:11
  to
• 31:11
  work,
• 31:11
  and
• 31:12
  when
• 31:12
  I
• 31:12
  came
• 31:12
  home,
• 31:13
  I
• 31:13
  think
• 31:13
  I
• 31:13
  probably
• 31:13
  spent,
• 31:15
  gosh,
• 31:17
  three
• 31:17
  to
• 31:18
  five
• 31:18
  hours
• 31:18
  with
• 31:19
  you,
• 31:19
  depending
• 31:19
  on
• 31:20
  how
• 31:20
  late
• 31:20
  you
• 31:20
  stayed
• 31:21
  up
• 31:21
  and
• 31:21
  what
• 31:21
  time
• 31:21
  I
• 31:21
  got
• 31:22
  home.
• 31:22
  But
• 31:23
  90
• 31:23
  minutes,
• 31:23
  maybe.
• 31:24
  I
• 31:24
  don't
• 31:24
  know.
• 31:26
  Where
• 31:26
  are
• 31:26
  we
• 31:26
  getting
• 31:27
  these
• 31:27
  numbers?
• 31:27
  I
• 31:27
  don't
• 31:28
  know.
• 31:29
  I
• 31:29
  mean,
• 31:29
  I
• 31:29
  know
• 31:30
  she
• 31:30
  does
• 31:30
  cite
• 31:30
  lots
• 31:31
  and
• 31:31
  lots
• 31:31
  of
• 31:31
  studies
• 31:31
  at
• 31:31
  the
• 31:32
  end,
• 31:32
  so
• 31:32
  I
• 31:32
  just,
• 31:32
  just
• 31:32
  be
• 31:33
  curious.
• 31:33
  Again,
• 31:33
  with
• 31:34
  books
• 31:34
  like
• 31:34
  this,
• 31:34
  I'm
• 31:35
  always
• 31:35
  a
• 31:35
  little
• 31:35
  bit
• 31:35
  wary
• 31:36
  because
• 31:36
  again,
• 31:37
  it
• 31:37
  is
• 31:37
  a
• 31:37
  thesis,
• 31:38
  right.
• 31:38
  That
• 31:38
  she's
• 31:39
  just
• 31:39
  so.
• 31:40
  Yeah.
• 31:40
  So
• 31:40
  the.
• 31:41
  It
• 31:41
  is
• 31:41
  in
• 31:41
  their
• 31:41
  interest
• 31:42
  as
• 31:42
  the
• 31:43
  author
• 31:43
  to
• 31:43
  present
• 31:44
  studies
• 31:44
  and
• 31:45
  information
• 31:45
  that
• 31:46
  confirm
• 31:47
  the
• 31:47
  bias
• 31:47
  that
• 31:48
  they
• 31:48
  are
• 31:49
  the
• 31:49
  lowest
• 31:50
  amount
• 31:50
  of
• 31:50
  time
• 31:50
  that
• 31:51
  some
• 31:51
  women
• 31:51
  may
• 31:51
  spend.
• 31:52
  You
• 31:52
  know,
• 31:53
  according
• 31:53
  to
• 31:53
  this
• 31:54
  study,
• 31:54
  this
• 31:54
  is
• 31:54
  the
• 31:54
  average.
• 31:55
  But
• 31:55
  according
• 31:55
  to
• 31:55
  other
• 31:56
  studies,
• 31:56
  it
• 31:56
  might
• 31:56
  be
• 31:56
  different.
• 31:57
  I.
• 31:57
  That's
• 31:57
  what
• 31:57
  I
• 31:57
  was
• 31:58
  looking
• 31:58
  for
• 31:58
  for
• 31:58
  was
• 31:59
  the
• 31:59
  other
• 32:00
  studies.
• 32:01
  Although
• 32:01
  that
• 32:01
  said
• 32:02
  I
• 32:02
  am
• 32:02
  not
• 32:03
  a
• 32:03
  person
• 32:03
  who
• 32:03
  does
• 32:04
  my
• 32:04
  own
• 32:04
  research.
• 32:05
  Like,
• 32:05
  I
• 32:06
  want
• 32:06
  to
• 32:06
  trust
• 32:06
  the
• 32:07
  experts.
• 32:07
  But
• 32:07
  again,
• 32:08
  right,
• 32:08
  we're
• 32:08
  here.
• 32:08
  It's
• 32:09
  like,
• 32:09
  okay,
• 32:09
  if
• 32:09
  I
• 32:10
  were
• 32:10
  telling
• 32:10
  this
• 32:10
  story,
• 32:11
  I
• 32:11
  would
• 32:11
  probably
• 32:11
  choose
• 32:12
  information
• 32:12
  that
• 32:13
  confirms
• 32:13
  what
• 32:13
  I'm
• 32:13
  saying.
• 32:14
  Well,
• 32:14
  yeah,
• 32:14
  but
• 32:15
  I,
• 32:16
  you
• 32:16
  know,
• 32:16
  there's
• 32:16
  other
• 32:16
  books
• 32:17
  that
• 32:17
  we
• 32:17
  have
• 32:17
  read
• 32:18
  where
• 32:18
  they
• 32:19
  do
• 32:19
  have
• 32:19
  a
• 32:19
  point
• 32:19
  of
• 32:20
  view,
• 32:20
  but
• 32:20
  they
• 32:20
  show
• 32:20
  both
• 32:21
  sides.
• 32:21
  You
• 32:22
  know,
• 32:22
  even.
• 32:23
  Even
• 32:23
  the
• 32:23
  book
• 32:23
  we
• 32:24
  read
• 32:24
  about,
• 32:26
  about
• 32:26
  social
• 32:26
  media
• 32:27
  showed
• 32:28
  both
• 32:28
  sides,
• 32:28
  showed
• 32:29
  some
• 32:29
  different
• 32:31
  points
• 32:31
  of
• 32:32
  view.
• 32:32
  So
• 32:32
  I
• 32:33
  just
• 32:33
  was
• 32:33
  looking
• 32:33
  for
• 32:33
  some
• 32:33
  different
• 32:34
  points
• 32:34
  of
• 32:34
  view
• 32:34
  here.
• 32:35
  But
• 32:35
  anyway,
• 32:37
  it
• 32:37
  says
• 32:38
  infants.
• 32:39
  These
• 32:39
  are
• 32:39
  just
• 32:40
  some
• 32:40
  of
• 32:40
  the
• 32:40
  big
• 32:40
  points
• 32:40
  in
• 32:40
  the
• 32:41
  beginning
• 32:41
  of
• 32:41
  the
• 32:41
  book,
• 32:41
  which
• 32:42
  is
• 32:42
  infants,
• 32:43
  babies
• 32:43
  whose
• 32:44
  mothers
• 32:44
  work
• 32:45
  are
• 32:45
  more
• 32:45
  likely
• 32:45
  to
• 32:45
  have
• 32:46
  issues
• 32:46
  with
• 32:46
  anxiety
• 32:47
  or
• 32:47
  behavior
• 32:50
  by
• 32:51
  age
• 32:51
  3
• 32:51
  or
• 32:51
  so.
• 32:52
  And
• 32:52
  then,
• 32:53
  so
• 32:53
  what
• 32:53
  will
• 32:53
  happen
• 32:54
  is
• 32:54
  if
• 32:54
  you
• 32:54
  have
• 32:54
  stayed
• 32:55
  home
• 32:55
  and
• 32:55
  then
• 32:55
  suddenly
• 32:56
  your
• 32:56
  child
• 32:56
  starts
• 32:56
  having
• 32:56
  behavior
• 32:57
  issues
• 32:57
  at
• 32:58
  School
• 32:58
  when
• 32:58
  she
• 32:59
  sees
• 32:59
  them
• 32:59
  in
• 32:59
  her
• 33:00
  practice.
• 33:00
  And
• 33:01
  there
• 33:01
  were
• 33:01
  many
• 33:01
  case
• 33:01
  studies
• 33:02
  that
• 33:02
  she
• 33:02
  showed
• 33:03
  the
• 33:03
  mom
• 33:04
  ended
• 33:04
  up
• 33:05
  cutting
• 33:06
  her
• 33:06
  work
• 33:06
  day
• 33:06
  in
• 33:07
  half,
• 33:07
  staying
• 33:08
  home
• 33:08
  more
• 33:08
  because
• 33:09
  her
• 33:09
  child
• 33:09
  was
• 33:09
  having
• 33:09
  behavioral
• 33:10
  issues.
• 33:10
  Which,
• 33:10
  like,
• 33:10
  in
• 33:10
  an
• 33:11
  ideal
• 33:11
  world,
• 33:11
  great.
• 33:12
  Yes.
• 33:12
  But
• 33:13
  you
• 33:13
  know,
• 33:14
  this
• 33:14
  is
• 33:14
  not
• 33:14
  an
• 33:14
  ideal
• 33:15
  world.
• 33:16
  No.
• 33:16
  So
• 33:16
  this
• 33:17
  isn't
• 33:17
  feasible
• 33:17
  for
• 33:18
  everyone.
• 33:18
  Exactly.
• 33:20
  And
• 33:20
  then
• 33:20
  I
• 33:20
  wrote,
• 33:21
  you
• 33:21
  know,
• 33:21
  this
• 33:21
  was
• 33:21
  some
• 33:22
  of
• 33:22
  her
• 33:22
  advice
• 33:22
  is
• 33:24
  the
• 33:24
  best
• 33:24
  ways
• 33:24
  to
• 33:24
  be
• 33:25
  present
• 33:25
  with
• 33:25
  your
• 33:25
  child.
• 33:26
  And
• 33:26
  this
• 33:26
  I
• 33:26
  agree
• 33:27
  with.
• 33:27
  I
• 33:27
  think
• 33:27
  you
• 33:27
  will
• 33:28
  remove
• 33:29
  your
• 33:29
  phone,
• 33:30
  the
• 33:30
  tv,
• 33:31
  make
• 33:31
  sure
• 33:31
  baby
• 33:31
  sees
• 33:32
  you
• 33:32
  when
• 33:32
  you
• 33:32
  speak
• 33:33
  to
• 33:33
  them.
• 33:33
  Read
• 33:34
  your
• 33:34
  baby's
• 33:34
  emotional
• 33:35
  cues
• 33:35
  and
• 33:36
  mirror
• 33:36
  their
• 33:36
  expressions.
• 33:37
  Use
• 33:38
  words
• 33:38
  to
• 33:39
  reflect
• 33:39
  their
• 33:39
  feelings
• 33:40
  as
• 33:40
  you
• 33:40
  interpret
• 33:41
  them,
• 33:41
  and
• 33:42
  that
• 33:42
  this
• 33:42
  helps
• 33:42
  them
• 33:43
  gain
• 33:43
  control
• 33:44
  over
• 33:44
  their
• 33:44
  emotions.
• 33:45
  Talk
• 33:46
  to
• 33:46
  your
• 33:46
  child,
• 33:47
  play
• 33:47
  with
• 33:47
  your
• 33:47
  child,
• 33:48
  help
• 33:48
  them
• 33:49
  with
• 33:49
  separations.
• 33:50
  All
• 33:50
  of
• 33:50
  this
• 33:50
  sounds
• 33:51
  good.
• 33:51
  I
• 33:51
  mean,
• 33:51
  I
• 33:52
  can't
• 33:52
  argue
• 33:52
  with
• 33:52
  that.
• 33:52
  Sounds
• 33:53
  great.
• 33:53
  Yeah,
• 33:54
  I
• 33:54
  agree.
• 33:55
  Now,
• 33:55
  she
• 33:55
  does
• 33:55
  support
• 33:56
  sleeping
• 33:57
  with
• 33:57
  your
• 33:57
  baby.
• 33:58
  And
• 33:58
  she
• 33:58
  says
• 33:59
  if
• 33:59
  you
• 33:59
  don't,
• 34:00
  then
• 34:01
  let's
• 34:01
  say
• 34:01
  you're
• 34:01
  not
• 34:01
  sleeping
• 34:02
  with
• 34:02
  them.
• 34:02
  Go
• 34:02
  to
• 34:02
  them
• 34:02
  immediately
• 34:03
  when
• 34:03
  they
• 34:03
  cry,
• 34:04
  soothe
• 34:05
  them
• 34:05
  and
• 34:05
  pick
• 34:05
  them
• 34:06
  up.
• 34:06
  Do
• 34:06
  not
• 34:06
  let
• 34:06
  them
• 34:07
  cry
• 34:07
  it
• 34:07
  out.
• 34:07
  Like
• 34:08
  she's
• 34:08
  kind
• 34:08
  of
• 34:08
  says,
• 34:09
  she
• 34:09
  even
• 34:09
  mentions
• 34:09
  Ferber.
• 34:10
  She
• 34:10
  says,
• 34:10
  don't
• 34:11
  do
• 34:11
  what
• 34:11
  Dr.
• 34:11
  Ferber
• 34:12
  says.
• 34:12
  Don't
• 34:13
  let
• 34:13
  them
• 34:13
  cry
• 34:14
  again.
• 34:14
  In
• 34:14
  an
• 34:15
  ideal
• 34:15
  world.
• 34:15
  Right.
• 34:16
  I
• 34:16
  just
• 34:16
  sleep
• 34:16
  trained.
• 34:17
  Trained
• 34:17
  my
• 34:17
  baby.
• 34:18
  Let
• 34:18
  me
• 34:18
  just
• 34:18
  say
• 34:19
  I
• 34:19
  expected
• 34:19
  it
• 34:20
  to
• 34:20
  be
• 34:20
  so
• 34:20
  much
• 34:21
  worse
• 34:21
  the
• 34:21
  first
• 34:22
  night.
• 34:22
  Horrible.
• 34:23
  I
• 34:23
  was
• 34:23
  crying
• 34:24
  in
• 34:24
  one
• 34:24
  room
• 34:24
  and
• 34:25
  she
• 34:25
  was
• 34:25
  crying
• 34:25
  in
• 34:25
  another
• 34:25
  room.
• 34:26
  But
• 34:26
  by
• 34:26
  the
• 34:27
  second
• 34:27
  night,
• 34:28
  the
• 34:28
  crying
• 34:28
  got
• 34:29
  cut
• 34:29
  in
• 34:29
  half.
• 34:30
  By
• 34:30
  the
• 34:30
  third
• 34:30
  night,
• 34:31
  the
• 34:31
  crying
• 34:32
  got
• 34:32
  cut
• 34:32
  in
• 34:32
  half
• 34:32
  again.
• 34:33
  And
• 34:33
  now
• 34:34
  she
• 34:34
  goes
• 34:34
  to
• 34:35
  sleep
• 34:35
  without
• 34:36
  a
• 34:36
  peep.
• 34:36
  Oh,
• 34:37
  that's
• 34:37
  so
• 34:37
  nice.
• 34:37
  And
• 34:38
  it
• 34:38
  was
• 34:38
  less
• 34:38
  than
• 34:38
  a
• 34:38
  week
• 34:39
  of
• 34:39
  a
• 34:39
  process.
• 34:40
  And
• 34:40
  sure,
• 34:40
  it's
• 34:40
  hard,
• 34:41
  but
• 34:41
  again,
• 34:42
  like,
• 34:42
  like
• 34:42
  what?
• 34:43
  I
• 34:43
  honestly
• 34:44
  feel
• 34:45
  a
• 34:46
  well
• 34:46
  rested,
• 34:47
  cognizant
• 34:48
  mother
• 34:49
  is
• 34:49
  a
• 34:49
  safer
• 34:50
  situation
• 34:51
  than
• 34:51
  an
• 34:51
  exhausted
• 34:52
  mother.
• 34:53
  Yeah.
• 34:53
  Getting
• 34:53
  up
• 34:53
  at
• 34:54
  their
• 34:54
  baby's
• 34:54
  every
• 34:54
  whim.
• 34:55
  Because
• 34:55
  remember,
• 34:55
  sleeping
• 34:55
  is
• 34:56
  a
• 34:56
  skill.
• 34:56
  Right.
• 34:57
  We
• 34:57
  don't
• 34:57
  just
• 34:57
  know
• 34:57
  how
• 34:58
  to
• 34:58
  sleep.
• 34:58
  You
• 34:59
  have
• 34:59
  to
• 34:59
  learn
• 34:59
  how
• 34:59
  to
• 35:00
  self
• 35:00
  soothe.
• 35:00
  And
• 35:00
  you
• 35:01
  need
• 35:01
  the
• 35:01
  opportunity
• 35:02
  to
• 35:02
  learn,
• 35:03
  which
• 35:03
  is
• 35:03
  really,
• 35:03
  I
• 35:04
  think,
• 35:04
  what
• 35:04
  Ferber's
• 35:05
  whole
• 35:05
  idea
• 35:05
  is.
• 35:06
  Right.
• 35:06
  Right.
• 35:07
  And
• 35:07
  like,
• 35:07
  if
• 35:07
  you
• 35:07
  are
• 35:07
  never
• 35:08
  given
• 35:08
  the
• 35:08
  opportunity
• 35:09
  to
• 35:09
  self,
• 35:09
  self
• 35:09
  soothe,
• 35:10
  why
• 35:10
  would
• 35:10
  you.
• 35:12
  Someone
• 35:12
  will
• 35:12
  come
• 35:13
  pick
• 35:13
  you
• 35:13
  up
• 35:13
  and,
• 35:13
  and
• 35:14
  like
• 35:14
  give
• 35:14
  you
• 35:14
  milk.
• 35:15
  Oh,
• 35:15
  yeah.
• 35:16
  It's
• 35:16
  like,
• 35:16
  oh
• 35:16
  girl,
• 35:17
  I'm
• 35:18
  going
• 35:18
  for
• 35:18
  that.
• 35:18
  Yeah.
• 35:19
  Which,
• 35:19
  who
• 35:19
  wouldn't?
• 35:20
  It's
• 35:20
  human.
• 35:21
  But
• 35:21
  again,
• 35:21
  you
• 35:22
  have
• 35:22
  to.
• 35:22
  I,
• 35:22
  I
• 35:22
  disagree
• 35:23
  with
• 35:23
  that
• 35:23
  idea.
• 35:24
  It's
• 35:24
  like
• 35:24
  at
• 35:24
  a
• 35:24
  certain
• 35:25
  point
• 35:26
  it
• 35:26
  does
• 35:26
  impact.
• 35:28
  I
• 35:28
  can
• 35:28
  say
• 35:28
  this
• 35:29
  as
• 35:29
  a
• 35:29
  person
• 35:29
  who
• 35:29
  worked
• 35:29
  at
• 35:29
  night
• 35:30
  for
• 35:30
  over
• 35:30
  a
• 35:30
  decade.
• 35:31
  A
• 35:31
  lack
• 35:31
  of
• 35:31
  sleep
• 35:32
  impacts
• 35:33
  every
• 35:33
  element
• 35:33
  of
• 35:33
  your
• 35:33
  life.
• 35:34
  Right,
• 35:34
  Right.
• 35:35
  No,
• 35:35
  no,
• 35:35
  I.
• 35:35
  I'm
• 35:36
  with
• 35:36
  you.
• 35:36
  And,
• 35:36
  and
• 35:37
  I,
• 35:37
  I
• 35:37
  remember,
• 35:37
  you
• 35:38
  know,
• 35:38
  when
• 35:38
  you
• 35:38
  guys
• 35:38
  were
• 35:39
  growing
• 35:39
  up,
• 35:40
  we
• 35:40
  did
• 35:40
  not
• 35:40
  bring
• 35:41
  you
• 35:41
  into
• 35:41
  our
• 35:41
  bed.
• 35:42
  In
• 35:42
  fact,
• 35:42
  I
• 35:42
  don't
• 35:42
  think
• 35:43
  I
• 35:43
  showed
• 35:43
  you
• 35:43
  where
• 35:43
  the
• 35:43
  bedroom
• 35:44
  was
• 35:44
  where
• 35:45
  we
• 35:45
  were
• 35:45
  living.
• 35:46
  Because
• 35:47
  you
• 35:47
  need
• 35:47
  to
• 35:47
  know
• 35:48
  I
• 35:48
  didn't
• 35:48
  want
• 35:48
  you
• 35:49
  in
• 35:49
  my
• 35:49
  bedroom.
• 35:50
  I
• 35:50
  wanted
• 35:51
  to
• 35:51
  be
• 35:51
  able.
• 35:51
  I
• 35:52
  just
• 35:52
  needed
• 35:52
  to
• 35:52
  go
• 35:53
  to
• 35:53
  sleep
• 35:53
  when
• 35:53
  I
• 35:54
  finally
• 35:54
  put
• 35:54
  you
• 35:54
  down
• 35:55
  for
• 35:55
  the
• 35:55
  night.
• 35:56
  And
• 35:56
  I
• 35:56
  mean,
• 35:57
  and
• 35:57
  you'll
• 35:57
  see
• 35:58
  with
• 35:58
  sleep
• 35:58
  training,
• 35:59
  the
• 35:59
  way
• 35:59
  it
• 35:59
  works
• 36:00
  is
• 36:00
  you
• 36:00
  sleep
• 36:01
  train
• 36:01
  and
• 36:01
  it
• 36:02
  works
• 36:02
  for
• 36:02
  a
• 36:02
  while
• 36:03
  and
• 36:03
  then
• 36:03
  it
• 36:03
  stops
• 36:04
  working
• 36:04
  and
• 36:05
  then
• 36:05
  you'll
• 36:05
  will
• 36:05
  end
• 36:05
  up
• 36:06
  doing
• 36:06
  more
• 36:06
  different
• 36:07
  sleep
• 36:07
  training
• 36:08
  throughout
• 36:08
  the
• 36:08
  child's
• 36:09
  life.
• 36:09
  Yeah,
• 36:09
  that,
• 36:10
  that
• 36:10
  will
• 36:10
  happen.
• 36:10
  Also,
• 36:11
  I
• 36:11
  asked
• 36:11
  my
• 36:11
  pediatrician
• 36:12
  about
• 36:12
  co
• 36:12
  sleeping
• 36:13
  and
• 36:13
  she's
• 36:13
  like,
• 36:14
  girl,
• 36:14
  it
• 36:15
  is.
• 36:15
  The
• 36:16
  only
• 36:16
  safe
• 36:16
  way
• 36:17
  to
• 36:17
  do
• 36:17
  it
• 36:17
  is
• 36:17
  you
• 36:18
  take
• 36:18
  away
• 36:18
  your
• 36:18
  bed
• 36:19
  frame,
• 36:19
  you
• 36:19
  put
• 36:19
  your
• 36:19
  mattress
• 36:20
  on
• 36:20
  the
• 36:20
  floor,
• 36:20
  you
• 36:20
  take
• 36:20
  away
• 36:21
  your
• 36:21
  sheets,
• 36:21
  you
• 36:21
  take
• 36:22
  away
• 36:22
  your
• 36:22
  blankets.
• 36:23
  You.
• 36:23
  The
• 36:24
  baby
• 36:24
  needs
• 36:24
  two
• 36:25
  thirds
• 36:25
  of
• 36:25
  the
• 36:25
  bed.
• 36:26
  So
• 36:26
  you
• 36:26
  and
• 36:27
  your
• 36:27
  partner,
• 36:27
  if
• 36:27
  your
• 36:28
  partner,
• 36:28
  it's
• 36:28
  honestly
• 36:28
  only
• 36:29
  safe
• 36:29
  to
• 36:29
  have
• 36:29
  one
• 36:29
  person
• 36:30
  in
• 36:30
  the
• 36:30
  bed.
• 36:30
  So
• 36:30
  your
• 36:30
  partner
• 36:30
  should
• 36:31
  find
• 36:31
  somewhere
• 36:31
  else
• 36:31
  to
• 36:31
  go.
• 36:32
  And
• 36:32
  then
• 36:32
  you
• 36:32
  can
• 36:33
  sleep
• 36:33
  on
• 36:33
  the
• 36:33
  edge
• 36:34
  of
• 36:34
  one
• 36:34
  side.
• 36:35
  And
• 36:35
  the
• 36:35
  baby
• 36:36
  has
• 36:36
  most
• 36:36
  of
• 36:37
  the
• 36:37
  bed.
• 36:37
  Really?
• 36:38
  No
• 36:38
  sheets,
• 36:38
  no
• 36:39
  blankets,
• 36:39
  no
• 36:40
  pillows.
• 36:40
  And
• 36:41
  I'm
• 36:41
  like,
• 36:42
  okay.
• 36:42
  She's
• 36:43
  like,
• 36:43
  people
• 36:43
  co
• 36:43
  sleep
• 36:43
  all
• 36:44
  the
• 36:44
  time.
• 36:44
  Bless
• 36:45
  you.
• 36:45
  Sorry.
• 36:47
  Ease
• 36:47
  away.
• 36:48
  People
• 36:49
  co
• 36:49
  sleep
• 36:49
  all
• 36:49
  the
• 36:49
  time
• 36:50
  in
• 36:50
  ways
• 36:50
  that
• 36:50
  are
• 36:50
  just
• 36:51
  like
• 36:51
  not
• 36:51
  safe.
• 36:52
  Excuse
• 36:53
  me.
• 36:53
  Bless
• 36:53
  you.
• 36:53
  I
• 36:54
  don't
• 36:54
  know
• 36:54
  what's
• 36:54
  going
• 36:54
  on,
• 36:55
  but
• 36:55
  go
• 36:55
  ahead,
• 36:55
  I'm
• 36:55
  listening.
• 36:56
  And
• 36:56
  I
• 36:56
  didn't
• 36:56
  know
• 36:56
  this
• 36:57
  about
• 36:57
  sleeping.
• 36:58
  I
• 36:58
  had
• 36:58
  no
• 36:58
  idea.
• 36:58
  Yeah.
• 36:59
  I'm
• 36:59
  like,
• 36:59
  like,
• 36:59
  who
• 36:59
  can
• 37:00
  do
• 37:00
  this?
• 37:00
  I
• 37:00
  wouldn't
• 37:01
  do
• 37:01
  that.
• 37:01
  I
• 37:01
  wouldn't
• 37:01
  do
• 37:02
  that.
• 37:02
  Oh
• 37:02
  my
• 37:02
  God.
• 37:03
  And.
• 37:03
  And
• 37:03
  it's
• 37:03
  crazy.
• 37:04
  I
• 37:04
  always
• 37:04
  worried
• 37:05
  I
• 37:05
  would
• 37:05
  roll
• 37:05
  over
• 37:06
  and
• 37:06
  crush
• 37:06
  you.
• 37:06
  I
• 37:07
  don't
• 37:07
  think.
• 37:07
  I
• 37:07
  think
• 37:07
  it's
• 37:08
  less
• 37:08
  of
• 37:08
  a
• 37:08
  risk
• 37:08
  for
• 37:08
  the
• 37:09
  mother.
• 37:09
  Cuz
• 37:09
  I
• 37:09
  honestly,
• 37:10
  like,
• 37:10
  I
• 37:10
  feel
• 37:11
  so
• 37:11
  attuned
• 37:11
  to
• 37:11
  my
• 37:11
  baby.
• 37:12
  Like
• 37:12
  if
• 37:12
  she's
• 37:12
  near
• 37:12
  me,
• 37:13
  I
• 37:13
  like,
• 37:13
  I
• 37:14
  can't.
• 37:14
  But
• 37:14
  I
• 37:14
  would
• 37:14
  be
• 37:15
  really
• 37:15
  worried
• 37:15
  about
• 37:16
  my
• 37:16
  husband.
• 37:16
  Yeah.
• 37:17
  Cuz
• 37:17
  a
• 37:17
  bomb
• 37:18
  could
• 37:18
  go
• 37:18
  off
• 37:18
  in
• 37:19
  the
• 37:19
  apartment
• 37:19
  next
• 37:20
  door
• 37:20
  and
• 37:20
  he
• 37:20
  doesn't
• 37:21
  sleep
• 37:21
  right
• 37:21
  through
• 37:21
  it.
• 37:21
  Oh,
• 37:22
  okay.
• 37:23
  Well,
• 37:23
  yeah.
• 37:23
  And
• 37:24
  he
• 37:24
  would
• 37:24
  feel
• 37:24
  terrible
• 37:24
  if
• 37:25
  he
• 37:25
  rolled
• 37:25
  over
• 37:25
  and
• 37:25
  crushed
• 37:26
  the
• 37:26
  baby.
• 37:26
  Yeah,
• 37:26
  yeah.
• 37:27
  He.
• 37:27
  Who
• 37:27
  would.
• 37:27
  That
• 37:27
  would,
• 37:28
  that
• 37:28
  would
• 37:28
  be
• 37:29
  bad.
• 37:29
  That
• 37:29
  would
• 37:29
  be
• 37:29
  bad.
• 37:30
  Which
• 37:30
  is
• 37:30
  again
• 37:31
  why
• 37:31
  I
• 37:31
  don't,
• 37:31
  I
• 37:32
  don't
• 37:32
  even
• 37:32
  let
• 37:32
  him
• 37:32
  take
• 37:32
  naps
• 37:33
  with
• 37:33
  her
• 37:33
  unsupervised.
• 37:34
  Oh,
• 37:34
  yeah.
• 37:35
  Because
• 37:35
  I'm
• 37:35
  like,
• 37:35
  what
• 37:36
  if
• 37:36
  she
• 37:36
  falls
• 37:36
  off?
• 37:37
  Yeah.
• 37:37
  Squished.
• 37:38
  Absolutely.
• 37:38
  I
• 37:39
  don't
• 37:39
  even
• 37:39
  take
• 37:39
  naps
• 37:39
  with
• 37:40
  her
• 37:40
  unsupervised
• 37:41
  because
• 37:41
  it
• 37:41
  just.
• 37:41
  It
• 37:42
  safe
• 37:42
  sleeping
• 37:43
  is
• 37:43
  such
• 37:43
  a
• 37:43
  thing.
• 37:43
  Supervises
• 37:44
  you
• 37:44
  when
• 37:44
  you.
• 37:44
  I
• 37:44
  supervise
• 37:45
  him
• 37:45
  and
• 37:46
  he
• 37:46
  supervises
• 37:47
  me
• 37:47
  because
• 37:48
  I'm
• 37:48
  like,
• 37:48
  somebody
• 37:49
  has
• 37:49
  to
• 37:49
  be
• 37:49
  awake
• 37:49
  to
• 37:49
  make
• 37:49
  sure
• 37:49
  the
• 37:50
  baby's
• 37:50
  okay.
• 37:50
  Okay,
• 37:51
  well
• 37:51
  then
• 37:51
  just
• 37:51
  call
• 37:52
  me
• 37:52
  neurotic.
• 37:52
  Okay.
• 37:53
  But
• 37:53
  just
• 37:53
  don't
• 37:54
  put
• 37:54
  them
• 37:54
  in
• 37:54
  your
• 37:54
  bed.
• 37:54
  Just
• 37:55
  don't.
• 37:55
  Just
• 37:55
  don't.
• 37:56
  Period.
• 37:56
  But
• 37:56
  listen,
• 37:57
  lots
• 37:57
  of
• 37:57
  people.
• 37:57
  People
• 37:57
  sleep
• 37:58
  this
• 37:58
  way.
• 37:58
  Okay.
• 37:59
  And
• 37:59
  listen
• 37:59
  good
• 38:00
  on
• 38:00
  you.
• 38:00
  Trust
• 38:00
  yourself.
• 38:01
  Okay.
• 38:01
  I
• 38:02
  don't
• 38:02
  trust
• 38:02
  myself.
• 38:02
  Okay.
• 38:03
  Okay.
• 38:04
  Now
• 38:04
  this
• 38:04
  was
• 38:05
  very
• 38:05
  interesting.
• 38:05
  I
• 38:05
  did
• 38:06
  not
• 38:06
  know
• 38:06
  this.
• 38:07
  Maybe
• 38:07
  it's
• 38:08
  true.
• 38:08
  I.
• 38:08
  Until
• 38:09
  the
• 38:09
  age
• 38:09
  of
• 38:10
  three,
• 38:10
  a
• 38:10
  child
• 38:11
  experiences
• 38:12
  every
• 38:13
  separation
• 38:13
  as
• 38:14
  a
• 38:14
  loss.
• 38:14
  Even
• 38:15
  if
• 38:15
  you've
• 38:15
  been
• 38:15
  gone
• 38:16
  for
• 38:17
  an
• 38:17
  hour
• 38:17
  or
• 38:17
  two.
• 38:18
  Your
• 38:18
  absence
• 38:19
  phrase,
• 38:20
  the
• 38:20
  mother,
• 38:20
  child
• 38:21
  bond
• 38:21
  just
• 38:22
  a
• 38:22
  little.
• 38:23
  You
• 38:23
  need
• 38:23
  to
• 38:23
  repair
• 38:24
  it
• 38:24
  each
• 38:24
  time
• 38:24
  you
• 38:25
  return.
• 38:26
  So
• 38:26
  in
• 38:26
  your
• 38:26
  first
• 38:26
  moment
• 38:27
  back,
• 38:27
  you
• 38:27
  need
• 38:27
  to
• 38:28
  show
• 38:28
  a
• 38:28
  reaction
• 38:29
  like
• 38:29
  joy,
• 38:30
  excitement,
• 38:30
  hugs
• 38:31
  and
• 38:31
  kisses,
• 38:31
  which,
• 38:32
  of
• 38:32
  course,
• 38:32
  I
• 38:33
  think
• 38:33
  you
• 38:33
  naturally
• 38:34
  do
• 38:34
  have
• 38:34
  that
• 38:34
  feel
• 38:35
  when
• 38:35
  you're
• 38:35
  gone
• 38:35
  for
• 38:35
  an
• 38:36
  hour
• 38:36
  and
• 38:36
  you
• 38:36
  come
• 38:36
  back.
• 38:36
  You're
• 38:37
  so
• 38:37
  happy
• 38:37
  to
• 38:37
  see
• 38:37
  the
• 38:37
  baby.
• 38:38
  I
• 38:39
  know.
• 38:39
  So
• 38:39
  it's.
• 38:39
  She
• 38:40
  says
• 38:40
  put
• 38:40
  aside
• 38:41
  everything,
• 38:41
  focus
• 38:41
  on
• 38:42
  the
• 38:42
  child.
• 38:42
  And
• 38:43
  if
• 38:43
  your
• 38:43
  child
• 38:43
  struggles
• 38:44
  too
• 38:44
  much
• 38:44
  with
• 38:44
  you
• 38:45
  being
• 38:45
  gone,
• 38:45
  it
• 38:46
  may
• 38:46
  mean
• 38:46
  you
• 38:47
  need
• 38:47
  to
• 38:47
  take
• 38:47
  a
• 38:47
  break
• 38:47
  from
• 38:48
  work
• 38:48
  or
• 38:49
  rethink
• 38:49
  your
• 38:49
  work.
• 38:50
  Family
• 38:50
  balance
• 38:51
  when
• 38:51
  your
• 38:51
  child
• 38:51
  is
• 38:51
  very
• 38:52
  young,
• 38:52
  may
• 38:52
  mean
• 38:53
  you
• 38:53
  need
• 38:53
  to
• 38:53
  quit
• 38:53
  your
• 38:53
  job.
• 38:54
  Job
• 38:54
  and
• 38:55
  never
• 38:55
  leave
• 38:55
  the
• 38:55
  house
• 38:56
  ever
• 38:56
  again.
• 38:57
  And
• 38:57
  she
• 38:58
  says
• 38:58
  to
• 38:58
  repair.
• 38:59
  What
• 38:59
  you
• 38:59
  need
• 39:00
  to
• 39:00
  do
• 39:01
  is
• 39:02
  when
• 39:02
  you
• 39:03
  come
• 39:03
  back
• 39:03
  to
• 39:03
  your
• 39:03
  baby,
• 39:04
  you
• 39:04
  need
• 39:04
  to
• 39:05
  openly
• 39:05
  express
• 39:06
  your
• 39:06
  sadness
• 39:07
  at
• 39:07
  the
• 39:07
  fact
• 39:07
  that
• 39:07
  you
• 39:07
  were
• 39:08
  gone.
• 39:08
  Like,
• 39:09
  I'm
• 39:09
  sad
• 39:10
  when
• 39:10
  I'm
• 39:10
  at
• 39:10
  work
• 39:10
  and
• 39:11
  can't
• 39:11
  be
• 39:11
  with
• 39:11
  you.
• 39:12
  And
• 39:13
  she
• 39:13
  says
• 39:13
  children
• 39:14
  know
• 39:14
  when
• 39:14
  you
• 39:14
  have
• 39:15
  a
• 39:15
  choice,
• 39:15
  like
• 39:15
  when
• 39:16
  you
• 39:16
  don't
• 39:16
  have
• 39:16
  to
• 39:16
  go
• 39:17
  to
• 39:17
  work,
• 39:17
  but
• 39:17
  you
• 39:17
  choose
• 39:18
  to
• 39:18
  go
• 39:18
  to
• 39:18
  work
• 39:18
  and
• 39:19
  you're
• 39:19
  choosing
• 39:19
  other
• 39:20
  activities
• 39:20
  over
• 39:20
  them.
• 39:21
  So
• 39:21
  don't
• 39:21
  try
• 39:22
  to,
• 39:22
  you
• 39:22
  know,
• 39:22
  get
• 39:23
  one
• 39:23
  over
• 39:23
  on
• 39:23
  them.
• 39:23
  If
• 39:24
  you.
• 39:24
  If
• 39:24
  you
• 39:24
  aren't
• 39:24
  sad,
• 39:25
  don't
• 39:25
  tell
• 39:25
  them
• 39:25
  because
• 39:26
  they'll
• 39:26
  know.
• 39:27
  But.
• 39:27
  But
• 39:28
  you
• 39:28
  should
• 39:28
  tell
• 39:29
  them
• 39:29
  you
• 39:29
  are
• 39:30
  sad.
• 39:30
  Yeah.
• 39:31
  When
• 39:31
  you're
• 39:32
  away
• 39:32
  from
• 39:32
  them.
• 39:32
  Yeah.
• 39:33
  So
• 39:34
  I
• 39:34
  never
• 39:35
  did
• 39:35
  that.
• 39:35
  But
• 39:36
  I
• 39:36
  mean,
• 39:36
  listen.
• 39:36
  And
• 39:37
  I
• 39:37
  turned
• 39:37
  out
• 39:37
  like,
• 39:37
  mostly
• 39:38
  fine.
• 39:38
  I
• 39:39
  think
• 39:39
  you
• 39:39
  came
• 39:40
  out
• 39:40
  great.
• 39:41
  Thank
• 39:41
  you.
• 39:42
  Yeah.
• 39:44
  So
• 39:44
  anyway.
• 39:45
  Yeah.
• 39:46
  So
• 39:46
  she
• 39:46
  says
• 39:47
  if
• 39:47
  you
• 39:47
  cannot
• 39:48
  be
• 39:48
  home,
• 39:50
  that,
• 39:50
  you
• 39:50
  know,
• 39:51
  this
• 39:51
  is
• 39:51
  the
• 39:51
  last
• 39:52
  chapter.
• 39:52
  This
• 39:52
  is
• 39:52
  the
• 39:52
  only
• 39:53
  place
• 39:53
  she
• 39:53
  really
• 39:53
  goes
• 39:54
  into
• 39:54
  what
• 39:54
  happens
• 39:54
  if
• 39:55
  you
• 39:55
  have
• 39:55
  to
• 39:55
  work.
• 39:55
  Yes.
• 39:56
  And
• 39:56
  she
• 39:57
  says
• 39:57
  having
• 39:57
  other
• 39:58
  family
• 39:58
  members
• 39:59
  care
• 39:59
  for
• 39:59
  the
• 39:59
  baby
• 40:00
  is
• 40:00
  second
• 40:00
  best.
• 40:01
  Yes,
• 40:01
  fathers
• 40:02
  are
• 40:02
  possible,
• 40:02
  but
• 40:03
  they
• 40:03
  really
• 40:03
  don't
• 40:03
  have
• 40:03
  that
• 40:04
  calming
• 40:05
  hormone
• 40:05
  of
• 40:06
  women.
• 40:06
  Although
• 40:06
  I
• 40:07
  know
• 40:07
  now
• 40:07
  they
• 40:07
  can
• 40:07
  get
• 40:07
  the
• 40:07
  spray.
• 40:08
  Get
• 40:08
  the
• 40:09
  spray.
• 40:10
  They
• 40:10
  need
• 40:10
  to
• 40:11
  respond
• 40:11
  to
• 40:11
  their
• 40:12
  child
• 40:12
  quickly
• 40:13
  and
• 40:13
  sensitively
• 40:14
  if
• 40:14
  they
• 40:14
  stay
• 40:14
  home
• 40:14
  with
• 40:14
  the
• 40:15
  baby.
• 40:17
  Now,
• 40:17
  if
• 40:17
  she
• 40:17
  says
• 40:19
  she
• 40:19
  doesn't
• 40:19
  believe
• 40:20
  in
• 40:20
  au
• 40:21
  pairs
• 40:22
  because
• 40:22
  they'll
• 40:22
  leave
• 40:22
  after
• 40:23
  a
• 40:23
  year,
• 40:23
  a
• 40:23
  nanny
• 40:24
  who
• 40:24
  stays
• 40:24
  with
• 40:24
  you
• 40:24
  for
• 40:25
  many
• 40:25
  years
• 40:25
  is
• 40:25
  probably
• 40:26
  better.
• 40:26
  And
• 40:27
  you
• 40:27
  want
• 40:27
  them
• 40:27
  to
• 40:28
  have
• 40:28
  a
• 40:28
  close
• 40:28
  bond
• 40:29
  with
• 40:29
  your
• 40:29
  baby.
• 40:30
  And
• 40:30
  there
• 40:30
  are
• 40:30
  mothers
• 40:31
  who
• 40:31
  do
• 40:31
  get
• 40:32
  jealous
• 40:32
  of
• 40:33
  the
• 40:33
  nanny
• 40:34
  baby
• 40:35
  connection,
• 40:35
  and
• 40:35
  they'll
• 40:36
  fire
• 40:36
  the
• 40:37
  nanny
• 40:37
  after
• 40:37
  a
• 40:38
  year
• 40:38
  because
• 40:38
  they've
• 40:39
  gotten
• 40:39
  too
• 40:39
  close
• 40:40
  and
• 40:40
  they
• 40:41
  get
• 40:41
  jealous
• 40:41
  or
• 40:41
  they're
• 40:42
  not
• 40:42
  happy.
• 40:42
  You
• 40:42
  know,
• 40:43
  I
• 40:43
  would
• 40:43
  say
• 40:44
  if
• 40:44
  you
• 40:44
  have
• 40:44
  a
• 40:45
  child
• 40:45
  who
• 40:45
  has
• 40:45
  a
• 40:46
  good
• 40:46
  relationship
• 40:46
  with
• 40:46
  a
• 40:47
  nanny.
• 40:48
  God.
• 40:48
  Yes.
• 40:48
  Yes.
• 40:49
  That's
• 40:49
  what
• 40:49
  you
• 40:50
  want.
• 40:50
  Yeah.
• 40:51
  Or
• 40:51
  anybody
• 40:52
  who's
• 40:52
  taking
• 40:52
  care
• 40:52
  of
• 40:53
  them.
• 40:53
  Yeah.
• 40:54
  She
• 40:54
  doesn't
• 40:54
  like
• 40:54
  daycare,
• 40:55
  as
• 40:55
  we
• 40:55
  talked
• 40:56
  about
• 40:57
  again,
• 40:58
  like,
• 40:58
  you
• 40:59
  know.
• 41:00
  Yeah.
• 41:00
  What
• 41:01
  are
• 41:01
  you
• 41:01
  gonna
• 41:01
  do?
• 41:01
  Well,
• 41:02
  I
• 41:02
  know.
• 41:02
  She
• 41:02
  says
• 41:02
  if
• 41:03
  you
• 41:03
  have
• 41:03
  to
• 41:03
  do
• 41:03
  it,
• 41:03
  you
• 41:03
  have
• 41:03
  to
• 41:04
  do
• 41:04
  it
• 41:04
  if
• 41:04
  you
• 41:04
  have
• 41:04
  to
• 41:04
  do
• 41:05
  it.
• 41:05
  She
• 41:05
  says
• 41:06
  mom
• 41:06
  should
• 41:06
  drop
• 41:07
  the
• 41:07
  child
• 41:07
  up
• 41:07
  off
• 41:08
  and
• 41:08
  pick
• 41:08
  them
• 41:09
  up,
• 41:09
  because
• 41:09
  the
• 41:10
  last
• 41:10
  person
• 41:10
  they
• 41:10
  see
• 41:11
  should
• 41:11
  be
• 41:11
  mom,
• 41:11
  and
• 41:11
  the
• 41:12
  first
• 41:12
  person
• 41:12
  they
• 41:12
  see
• 41:12
  should
• 41:13
  be
• 41:13
  Mom.
• 41:13
  In
• 41:13
  the
• 41:13
  last
• 41:13
  book
• 41:14
  we
• 41:14
  read,
• 41:14
  they
• 41:14
  were
• 41:14
  like.
• 41:15
  Like,
• 41:15
  make
• 41:15
  sure
• 41:15
  the
• 41:16
  parent
• 41:16
  who
• 41:16
  drops
• 41:16
  the
• 41:16
  kid
• 41:17
  off
• 41:17
  is
• 41:17
  the
• 41:17
  parent
• 41:17
  the
• 41:18
  kid
• 41:18
  likes
• 41:18
  least.
• 41:18
  Right.
• 41:19
  So
• 41:19
  they
• 41:19
  don't
• 41:19
  make
• 41:19
  a
• 41:20
  scene.
• 41:20
  Right.
• 41:21
  That's
• 41:21
  true.
• 41:21
  But
• 41:22
  that's
• 41:22
  what
• 41:22
  this
• 41:22
  book
• 41:23
  says
• 41:23
  is.
• 41:23
  Is
• 41:23
  you.
• 41:24
  You.
• 41:24
  You're.
• 41:24
  You're
• 41:25
  fraying
• 41:26
  at
• 41:26
  the
• 41:26
  bond,
• 41:27
  you
• 41:28
  know,
• 41:28
  between
• 41:28
  the
• 41:28
  mother.
• 41:29
  If
• 41:29
  you.
• 41:30
  Anyway,
• 41:31
  there's
• 41:31
  another
• 41:31
  point
• 41:31
  she
• 41:32
  makes
• 41:32
  too,
• 41:32
  where
• 41:32
  she's
• 41:33
  like,
• 41:33
  if
• 41:33
  our
• 41:34
  mothers
• 41:34
  are
• 41:35
  not
• 41:35
  as
• 41:35
  present
• 41:35
  for
• 41:36
  us
• 41:36
  when
• 41:36
  we're
• 41:36
  little,
• 41:36
  we
• 41:37
  won't
• 41:37
  know
• 41:37
  how
• 41:37
  to
• 41:38
  mother
• 41:38
  our
• 41:38
  own
• 41:39
  children.
• 41:39
  And
• 41:40
  I'm
• 41:40
  like.
• 41:40
  Like,
• 41:41
  I
• 41:41
  don't
• 41:41
  know
• 41:42
  about
• 41:42
  that.
• 41:42
  Again,
• 41:42
  these
• 41:43
  are
• 41:43
  very
• 41:43
  grand
• 41:44
  claims.
• 41:45
  Right.
• 41:45
  That,
• 41:46
  like,
• 41:47
  I
• 41:47
  just.
• 41:47
  I
• 41:48
  don't
• 41:48
  know.
• 41:48
  I.
• 41:49
  I
• 41:49
  don't
• 41:49
  know.
• 41:49
  They.
• 41:50
  They
• 41:50
  feel
• 41:51
  so
• 41:51
  definitive.
• 41:52
  Yes.
• 41:53
  You
• 41:53
  know.
• 41:53
  Yeah.
• 41:54
  Yeah.
• 41:54
  No,
• 41:55
  she
• 41:55
  says
• 41:55
  it
• 41:56
  gets
• 41:56
  passed
• 41:56
  on
• 41:56
  from
• 41:57
  generation
• 41:57
  to
• 41:57
  generation.
• 41:58
  Yeah.
• 41:58
  There's
• 41:58
  not
• 41:58
  a
• 41:59
  lot
• 41:59
  of
• 41:59
  nuance
• 41:59
  there.
• 42:00
  Yeah.
• 42:01
  I
• 42:01
  mean,
• 42:01
  I
• 42:01
  think
• 42:01
  you're
• 42:01
  a
• 42:02
  wonderful
• 42:02
  mother.
• 42:02
  I.
• 42:03
  I
• 42:03
  assume
• 42:04
  that.
• 42:04
  Does
• 42:04
  that
• 42:04
  mean
• 42:05
  I
• 42:05
  was?
• 42:05
  You
• 42:06
  were.
• 42:06
  But
• 42:06
  also,
• 42:06
  remember,
• 42:06
  remember,
• 42:07
  your
• 42:07
  mom
• 42:07
  worked,
• 42:08
  and
• 42:08
  your
• 42:08
  mom
• 42:08
  worked
• 42:08
  during
• 42:09
  a
• 42:09
  time
• 42:10
  that
• 42:10
  women
• 42:11
  didn't
• 42:12
  work.
• 42:12
  Right.
• 42:12
  Your
• 42:13
  mom
• 42:13
  got
• 42:13
  a
• 42:13
  PhD
• 42:14
  when
• 42:15
  women
• 42:15
  were
• 42:15
  not
• 42:16
  doing
• 42:16
  that.
• 42:17
  Right.
• 42:17
  But
• 42:18
  when
• 42:18
  I
• 42:18
  was
• 42:18
  an
• 42:19
  infant.
• 42:21
  Does
• 42:21
  your
• 42:21
  child
• 42:21
  struggle
• 42:22
  with
• 42:22
  procrastinating,
• 42:23
  managing
• 42:23
  time,
• 42:24
  staying
• 42:24
  focused,
• 42:25
  forgetting
• 42:25
  things,
• 42:26
  organizing,
• 42:27
  planning,
• 42:28
  studying,
• 42:28
  or
• 42:28
  staying
• 42:29
  off
• 42:29
  their
• 42:29
  screens?
• 42:30
  If
• 42:31
  these
• 42:31
  challenges
• 42:31
  Sound
• 42:32
  familiar?
• 42:32
  Habit
• 42:33
  Coach
• 42:33
  can
• 42:33
  help
• 42:34
  our
• 42:34
  coaches
• 42:34
  teach
• 42:35
  kids
• 42:35
  how
• 42:35
  to
• 42:35
  play
• 42:35
  to
• 42:35
  their
• 42:36
  strengths,
• 42:36
  build
• 42:36
  workarounds
• 42:37
  for
• 42:37
  weaknesses,
• 42:38
  and
• 42:38
  develop
• 42:38
  productive
• 42:39
  habits
• 42:39
  that
• 42:39
  stick
• 42:40
  for
• 42:40
  life.
• 42:41
  Research
• 42:41
  shows
• 42:42
  that
• 42:42
  coaching
• 42:42
  works
• 42:43
  and
• 42:43
  the
• 42:43
  Habit
• 42:44
  Coach
• 42:44
  approach
• 42:44
  with
• 42:45
  regular
• 42:45
  coaching
• 42:45
  sessions,
• 42:46
  check
• 42:46
  ins
• 42:47
  and
• 42:47
  parent
• 42:47
  meetings.
• 42:48
  Get
• 42:48
  real
• 42:48
  results.
• 42:49
  Get
• 42:50
  started
• 42:50
  for
• 42:50
  under
• 42:51
  $10
• 42:52
  a
• 42:52
  month.
• 42:53
  Don't
• 42:53
  let
• 42:53
  another
• 42:54
  day
• 42:54
  go
• 42:54
  by
• 42:55
  without
• 42:55
  getting
• 42:55
  your
• 42:55
  child
• 42:56
  the
• 42:56
  help
• 42:56
  that
• 42:56
  they
• 42:56
  need.
• 42:57
  The
• 42:57
  longer
• 42:57
  you
• 42:58
  wait,
• 42:58
  the
• 42:58
  bigger
• 42:58
  the
• 42:59
  challenges
• 42:59
  become.
• 43:00
  Start
• 43:00
  today@habitcoach.com
• 43:03
  right.
• 43:03
  But
• 43:03
  she,
• 43:04
  when
• 43:04
  I
• 43:04
  was
• 43:04
  an
• 43:05
  infant,
• 43:05
  I
• 43:06
  don't
• 43:06
  think
• 43:06
  she
• 43:06
  was
• 43:06
  working.
• 43:07
  I
• 43:07
  think
• 43:07
  she
• 43:08
  maybe
• 43:08
  started
• 43:09
  going
• 43:09
  back
• 43:09
  to
• 43:09
  school
• 43:10
  after
• 43:10
  I
• 43:10
  was
• 43:11
  maybe
• 43:11
  three,
• 43:11
  but,
• 43:12
  but
• 43:13
  I
• 43:13
  have
• 43:13
  no
• 43:13
  idea
• 43:13
  how
• 43:14
  I
• 43:14
  was,
• 43:14
  you
• 43:14
  know,
• 43:15
  but
• 43:15
  I,
• 43:15
  I,
• 43:15
  with
• 43:15
  you,
• 43:16
  I,
• 43:16
  I
• 43:16
  did
• 43:16
  my
• 43:16
  best,
• 43:17
  but
• 43:17
  I
• 43:17
  did
• 43:18
  have
• 43:18
  to
• 43:18
  go
• 43:18
  back
• 43:18
  to
• 43:18
  work,
• 43:19
  you
• 43:19
  know,
• 43:20
  so
• 43:20
  I
• 43:20
  don't
• 43:21
  know.
• 43:21
  But
• 43:22
  so
• 43:22
  then
• 43:22
  in
• 43:23
  the
• 43:23
  chapters
• 43:23
  on
• 43:24
  understanding
• 43:25
  the
• 43:25
  cost
• 43:25
  to
• 43:25
  be
• 43:26
  absent.
• 43:26
  Yeah.
• 43:28
  She
• 43:28
  says,
• 43:28
  you
• 43:28
  know,
• 43:28
  families
• 43:29
  come
• 43:29
  to
• 43:29
  her
• 43:29
  when
• 43:30
  the
• 43:30
  kids
• 43:30
  are
• 43:30
  older
• 43:31
  and
• 43:31
  there's
• 43:31
  problems,
• 43:32
  and
• 43:32
  then
• 43:33
  it's
• 43:33
  always
• 43:33
  because
• 43:34
  the
• 43:34
  mother
• 43:34
  wasn't
• 43:35
  present.
• 43:35
  Always
• 43:36
  in
• 43:36
  every
• 43:36
  one
• 43:36
  of
• 43:36
  the
• 43:36
  case
• 43:37
  studies.
• 43:37
  Yes.
• 43:38
  I
• 43:38
  just
• 43:39
  don't
• 43:39
  buy
• 43:39
  that.
• 43:39
  I
• 43:39
  know,
• 43:40
  but
• 43:40
  every
• 43:41
  problem
• 43:41
  was
• 43:42
  because
• 43:42
  of
• 43:42
  that.
• 43:42
  And
• 43:43
  so
• 43:45
  what?
• 43:45
  The
• 43:45
  way
• 43:46
  they
• 43:46
  fix
• 43:46
  it
• 43:46
  is
• 43:47
  that
• 43:47
  the
• 43:47
  mother
• 43:48
  ends
• 43:48
  up
• 43:48
  deciding
• 43:48
  to
• 43:49
  stay
• 43:49
  home
• 43:49
  or
• 43:50
  stay
• 43:50
  home
• 43:51
  part
• 43:51
  time,
• 43:51
  at
• 43:52
  least
• 43:52
  to
• 43:52
  be
• 43:52
  home
• 43:52
  more
• 43:53
  with
• 43:53
  the
• 43:53
  child.
• 43:54
  And
• 43:54
  she
• 43:54
  talks
• 43:55
  about
• 43:55
  how,
• 43:55
  and
• 43:55
  she
• 43:56
  cites
• 43:56
  studies
• 43:57
  that
• 43:57
  support
• 43:58
  these
• 43:58
  ideas
• 43:59
  that
• 44:00
  if
• 44:00
  you
• 44:00
  weren't
• 44:01
  there
• 44:01
  in
• 44:01
  the
• 44:01
  first
• 44:02
  three
• 44:02
  years,
• 44:02
  there
• 44:03
  will
• 44:03
  be
• 44:03
  anxiety,
• 44:03
  attention,
• 44:04
  difficulty,
• 44:06
  adhd,
• 44:06
  aggressive
• 44:07
  behavior,
• 44:08
  impulse
• 44:08
  control
• 44:08
  issues,
• 44:09
  depression,
• 44:09
  social
• 44:10
  difficulties,
• 44:10
  poor
• 44:11
  separation,
• 44:12
  problems
• 44:12
  with
• 44:12
  eye
• 44:12
  contact,
• 44:13
  sharing,
• 44:14
  respecting
• 44:14
  boundaries,
• 44:15
  lack
• 44:15
  of
• 44:15
  resilience
• 44:16
  to
• 44:16
  stress,
• 44:17
  all
• 44:17
  of
• 44:17
  these
• 44:17
  things.
• 44:17
  In
• 44:18
  other
• 44:18
  words,
• 44:18
  it's
• 44:18
  mom's
• 44:19
  fault
• 44:19
  because
• 44:19
  you
• 44:20
  weren't
• 44:20
  there.
• 44:20
  And
• 44:20
  again,
• 44:21
  I
• 44:21
  think
• 44:21
  it's
• 44:21
  really
• 44:21
  dangerous
• 44:22
  to
• 44:22
  pathologize
• 44:23
  everything
• 44:23
  like
• 44:23
  that.
• 44:24
  Yeah.
• 44:24
  You
• 44:24
  know,
• 44:24
  mean
• 44:24
  what
• 44:24
  I,
• 44:25
  I
• 44:25
  mean,
• 44:25
  it's
• 44:25
  really
• 44:26
  like,
• 44:27
  it
• 44:27
  is
• 44:27
  a
• 44:27
  very
• 44:28
  slippery
• 44:28
  slope.
• 44:29
  You
• 44:30
  know,
• 44:30
  when
• 44:30
  we
• 44:30
  start
• 44:30
  pathologizing
• 44:31
  things
• 44:31
  like
• 44:31
  that,
• 44:32
  you
• 44:32
  can
• 44:32
  pathologize
• 44:32
  anything.
• 44:33
  Right.
• 44:33
  It's
• 44:34
  not
• 44:34
  just
• 44:34
  the
• 44:34
  kid
• 44:35
  was
• 44:35
  kind
• 44:35
  of
• 44:35
  sad.
• 44:35
  No.
• 44:36
  The
• 44:36
  kid
• 44:36
  was
• 44:36
  depressed.
• 44:37
  Yeah.
• 44:38
  Yeah.
• 44:38
  It's
• 44:39
  like
• 44:39
  everything
• 44:39
  is
• 44:39
  hyperbolic.
• 44:40
  Yes.
• 44:42
  That's
• 44:43
  kind
• 44:43
  of,
• 44:43
  it
• 44:44
  was
• 44:44
  just,
• 44:44
  you
• 44:45
  know,
• 44:45
  I
• 44:45
  think
• 44:45
  like,
• 44:45
  if
• 44:46
  this
• 44:46
  book
• 44:47
  is
• 44:47
  great,
• 44:48
  if
• 44:48
  you
• 44:49
  are
• 44:49
  a
• 44:49
  mom
• 44:49
  who
• 44:50
  is
• 44:50
  staying
• 44:50
  home
• 44:50
  and
• 44:50
  you
• 44:51
  want
• 44:51
  to
• 44:51
  be,
• 44:52
  you
• 44:52
  know,
• 44:52
  affirmed
• 44:53
  in
• 44:53
  your
• 44:53
  decision,
• 44:54
  it
• 44:54
  will.
• 44:55
  She
• 44:55
  didn't
• 44:55
  stay
• 44:56
  home.
• 44:56
  Well,
• 44:57
  she
• 44:57
  kind
• 44:57
  of
• 44:58
  did.
• 44:58
  I
• 44:58
  mean,
• 44:58
  she
• 44:58
  practically
• 44:59
  did.
• 44:59
  She.
• 45:01
  Yeah,
• 45:01
  she
• 45:01
  got,
• 45:02
  she
• 45:03
  is
• 45:03
  in
• 45:03
  a
• 45:03
  private
• 45:03
  practice
• 45:04
  and
• 45:05
  she
• 45:05
  said
• 45:05
  she
• 45:05
  was
• 45:05
  able
• 45:06
  to
• 45:06
  work
• 45:06
  one
• 45:07
  hour
• 45:07
  a
• 45:07
  week.
• 45:09
  One
• 45:09
  hour
• 45:09
  a
• 45:09
  week.
• 45:10
  It's
• 45:10
  like
• 45:10
  one
• 45:10
  Hour
• 45:10
  a
• 45:10
  week.
• 45:11
  Would
• 45:11
  you
• 45:11
  send
• 45:12
  three
• 45:12
  emails?
• 45:12
  Well,
• 45:13
  maybe
• 45:13
  one
• 45:13
  session
• 45:14
  with
• 45:14
  one
• 45:14
  client.
• 45:15
  I
• 45:15
  don't
• 45:15
  know.
• 45:15
  But
• 45:16
  I
• 45:16
  mean,
• 45:16
  listen,
• 45:16
  again,
• 45:16
  good
• 45:17
  for
• 45:17
  you.
• 45:17
  But
• 45:17
  I
• 45:18
  don't
• 45:18
  know
• 45:18
  how
• 45:18
  you
• 45:18
  can
• 45:19
  maintain
• 45:19
  a
• 45:20
  practice
• 45:20
  like
• 45:20
  that.
• 45:20
  Well,
• 45:21
  she
• 45:21
  could,
• 45:21
  I
• 45:21
  guess.
• 45:21
  She
• 45:21
  was
• 45:22
  in
• 45:22
  with
• 45:22
  other
• 45:22
  doctors
• 45:23
  or
• 45:23
  whatever.
• 45:23
  I
• 45:24
  don't
• 45:24
  know.
• 45:24
  I
• 45:24
  just
• 45:24
  remember
• 45:25
  reading
• 45:25
  a
• 45:25
  part
• 45:25
  where
• 45:25
  she
• 45:26
  was
• 45:26
  like,
• 45:26
  she
• 45:27
  had
• 45:27
  a
• 45:27
  nanny
• 45:28
  at
• 45:28
  some
• 45:28
  point
• 45:29
  and
• 45:29
  she
• 45:29
  mentioned
• 45:30
  that,
• 45:30
  and
• 45:30
  I
• 45:30
  was
• 45:30
  like,
• 45:31
  okay,
• 45:31
  maybe
• 45:32
  when
• 45:32
  she
• 45:32
  was
• 45:33
  had
• 45:33
  farther
• 45:34
  along
• 45:34
  or
• 45:34
  something,
• 45:35
  I
• 45:35
  don't
• 45:35
  know.
• 45:35
  But
• 45:36
  again,
• 45:36
  it's
• 45:36
  like,
• 45:37
  I
• 45:37
  feel
• 45:37
  like
• 45:38
  so
• 45:38
  much
• 45:38
  of
• 45:38
  the
• 45:38
  thesis
• 45:39
  of
• 45:39
  this
• 45:39
  book
• 45:39
  is
• 45:39
  like,
• 45:40
  the
• 45:40
  first
• 45:40
  three
• 45:40
  years
• 45:40
  are
• 45:41
  important,
• 45:41
  but
• 45:41
  you
• 45:41
  should
• 45:42
  stay
• 45:42
  home
• 45:42
  forever
• 45:42
  if
• 45:43
  you
• 45:43
  can.
• 45:44
  And
• 45:44
  it's
• 45:45
  like,
• 45:45
  I
• 45:45
  don't
• 45:45
  know,
• 45:46
  I
• 45:46
  mean,
• 45:47
  when
• 45:47
  your
• 45:47
  kids
• 45:47
  are
• 45:48
  in
• 45:48
  school
• 45:48
  all
• 45:48
  day,
• 45:49
  like,
• 45:50
  you've
• 45:50
  gotta
• 45:51
  find
• 45:51
  purpose
• 45:51
  and
• 45:51
  meaning
• 45:52
  in
• 45:52
  your
• 45:52
  own
• 45:52
  life.
• 45:52
  And
• 45:53
  I'm
• 45:53
  sure
• 45:53
  there
• 45:53
  are
• 45:53
  plenty
• 45:54
  of
• 45:54
  women
• 45:54
  who
• 45:54
  are
• 45:54
  like,
• 45:54
  I
• 45:55
  have
• 45:55
  plenty
• 45:55
  to
• 45:55
  do
• 45:55
  during
• 45:55
  the
• 45:56
  day
• 45:56
  when
• 45:56
  my
• 45:57
  kids
• 45:57
  are
• 45:57
  at
• 45:57
  school.
• 45:57
  Like,
• 45:57
  I
• 45:58
  really
• 45:58
  wouldn't
• 45:58
  be
• 45:58
  surprised
• 45:59
  because
• 45:59
  I
• 45:59
  personally,
• 45:59
  I
• 46:00
  have
• 46:00
  plenty
• 46:00
  to
• 46:01
  do
• 46:01
  when
• 46:01
  I'm
• 46:02
  in
• 46:02
  my
• 46:02
  apartment.
• 46:02
  Right.
• 46:03
  But
• 46:03
  I
• 46:03
  don't
• 46:04
  know,
• 46:04
  I
• 46:04
  think
• 46:04
  it's
• 46:04
  like
• 46:04
  the
• 46:05
  kind
• 46:05
  of
• 46:05
  thing
• 46:05
  where
• 46:05
  we
• 46:05
  don't
• 46:05
  want
• 46:05
  to
• 46:06
  discourage
• 46:06
  women
• 46:07
  from
• 46:08
  pursuing
• 46:09
  other
• 46:09
  things
• 46:10
  as
• 46:10
  well.
• 46:11
  I
• 46:11
  have
• 46:11
  a
• 46:11
  daughter,
• 46:12
  and
• 46:12
  I
• 46:12
  want
• 46:12
  her
• 46:12
  to
• 46:12
  think
• 46:12
  that
• 46:13
  she
• 46:13
  can
• 46:13
  do
• 46:13
  anything
• 46:13
  because
• 46:14
  she
• 46:14
  can.
• 46:15
  Right.
• 46:15
  You
• 46:15
  know,
• 46:16
  and
• 46:16
  like,
• 46:17
  maybe
• 46:17
  not
• 46:17
  all
• 46:17
  at
• 46:17
  once,
• 46:18
  but
• 46:18
  that's
• 46:19
  her
• 46:19
  choice.
• 46:19
  Well,
• 46:20
  okay,
• 46:20
  so
• 46:20
  that
• 46:21
  is
• 46:21
  feminism
• 46:22
  choices.
• 46:23
  I
• 46:23
  would.
• 46:23
  Yes,
• 46:24
  that
• 46:24
  is.
• 46:24
  Now
• 46:25
  what
• 46:25
  she.
• 46:25
  She
• 46:25
  says
• 46:26
  about
• 46:26
  that
• 46:27
  is
• 46:27
  that
• 46:29
  you
• 46:29
  have
• 46:30
  a
• 46:30
  daughter.
• 46:31
  I
• 46:31
  wanted
• 46:32
  you
• 46:32
  to
• 46:32
  see
• 46:33
  me
• 46:33
  working
• 46:34
  because
• 46:34
  I
• 46:34
  wanted
• 46:35
  you
• 46:35
  to
• 46:35
  have
• 46:35
  that
• 46:35
  same
• 46:35
  message.
• 46:36
  You
• 46:36
  want
• 46:37
  your
• 46:37
  daughter
• 46:37
  to
• 46:37
  have
• 46:37
  that
• 46:37
  same
• 46:38
  message.
• 46:38
  But
• 46:39
  what
• 46:39
  she's
• 46:39
  saying
• 46:39
  is
• 46:39
  that
• 46:40
  babies
• 46:40
  don't
• 46:40
  get
• 46:41
  that
• 46:41
  message.
• 46:42
  It's
• 46:42
  like
• 46:42
  babies
• 46:43
  from
• 46:43
  infant
• 46:43
  to
• 46:44
  three,
• 46:44
  they
• 46:45
  just
• 46:45
  want
• 46:45
  you
• 46:45
  home.
• 46:46
  They
• 46:46
  don't
• 46:46
  need
• 46:46
  to
• 46:46
  see
• 46:47
  you
• 46:47
  working.
• 46:48
  So
• 46:48
  that's
• 46:49
  her
• 46:49
  point,
• 46:49
  the
• 46:49
  double.
• 46:50
  It's
• 46:50
  like,
• 46:51
  if
• 46:51
  you're
• 46:51
  not
• 46:51
  working
• 46:51
  during
• 46:52
  those
• 46:52
  three
• 46:52
  years,
• 46:52
  who's
• 46:53
  to
• 46:53
  say
• 46:53
  you'll
• 46:53
  even
• 46:53
  be
• 46:54
  able
• 46:54
  to
• 46:54
  continue
• 46:54
  your
• 46:55
  career,
• 46:55
  right?
• 46:55
  You
• 46:56
  can't.
• 46:56
  You
• 46:56
  may
• 46:56
  not
• 46:57
  be
• 46:57
  able
• 46:57
  to.
• 46:57
  There
• 46:57
  are
• 46:58
  so
• 46:58
  many
• 46:58
  things
• 46:58
  that
• 46:59
  are
• 46:59
  a
• 46:59
  bit
• 46:59
  contradictory,
• 47:00
  I
• 47:00
  think,
• 47:00
  with
• 47:00
  this
• 47:01
  idea
• 47:01
  where
• 47:01
  it's
• 47:02
  like,
• 47:02
  I
• 47:03
  don't
• 47:03
  know.
• 47:03
  I
• 47:04
  don't
• 47:04
  know
• 47:04
  what
• 47:05
  place
• 47:05
  she
• 47:05
  lives
• 47:06
  in
• 47:06
  where
• 47:06
  you
• 47:06
  can
• 47:06
  just
• 47:06
  like,
• 47:07
  put
• 47:07
  down
• 47:07
  and
• 47:07
  pick
• 47:07
  up
• 47:07
  your
• 47:08
  career
• 47:08
  as
• 47:08
  you
• 47:08
  want.
• 47:09
  Yeah,
• 47:10
  not.
• 47:10
  I
• 47:10
  just.
• 47:11
  Again,
• 47:11
  like,
• 47:11
  there
• 47:11
  aren't.
• 47:12
  There
• 47:12
  aren't
• 47:13
  a
• 47:13
  ton
• 47:13
  of
• 47:13
  fields
• 47:14
  where
• 47:14
  that
• 47:14
  is
• 47:14
  as
• 47:15
  possible
• 47:15
  as
• 47:17
  I
• 47:17
  think
• 47:17
  this
• 47:17
  book
• 47:18
  seems
• 47:18
  to
• 47:18
  believe.
• 47:19
  Well,
• 47:20
  and
• 47:21
  it.
• 47:21
  The
• 47:22
  world
• 47:22
  goes
• 47:22
  on.
• 47:22
  The
• 47:23
  world
• 47:23
  goes
• 47:23
  on
• 47:23
  without
• 47:24
  you.
• 47:24
  And
• 47:25
  it
• 47:25
  is
• 47:25
  hard
• 47:25
  to
• 47:26
  get
• 47:26
  back
• 47:26
  on.
• 47:27
  And
• 47:27
  we
• 47:27
  all
• 47:27
  know
• 47:28
  that
• 47:28
  as
• 47:28
  women
• 47:28
  that
• 47:29
  it
• 47:29
  is
• 47:29
  hard
• 47:29
  to
• 47:29
  get
• 47:30
  back
• 47:30
  on.
• 47:30
  And
• 47:31
  you
• 47:32
  know,
• 47:32
  and
• 47:32
  I
• 47:32
  think.
• 47:33
  But
• 47:33
  she
• 47:33
  says,
• 47:33
  well
• 47:34
  maybe
• 47:34
  you
• 47:34
  won't
• 47:34
  have
• 47:35
  such
• 47:35
  a
• 47:35
  great
• 47:35
  career
• 47:36
  but
• 47:36
  you'll
• 47:36
  have
• 47:36
  a
• 47:37
  well
• 47:37
  adjusted
• 47:37
  child.
• 47:38
  But
• 47:38
  I
• 47:38
  don't
• 47:39
  think
• 47:39
  that's
• 47:39
  a
• 47:39
  given
• 47:39
  because
• 47:40
  I
• 47:40
  know
• 47:41
  many,
• 47:41
  they're
• 47:41
  not
• 47:41
  mutually
• 47:42
  exclusive.
• 47:42
  Yeah.
• 47:43
  I
• 47:43
  know
• 47:43
  family,
• 47:43
  families
• 47:44
  whose
• 47:44
  mom.
• 47:44
  Where
• 47:44
  the
• 47:45
  mom
• 47:45
  did
• 47:45
  stay
• 47:45
  home.
• 47:46
  Their
• 47:46
  kids
• 47:47
  have
• 47:47
  struggled
• 47:47
  for
• 47:47
  one
• 47:48
  reason
• 47:48
  or
• 47:48
  another
• 47:49
  and
• 47:49
  you
• 47:49
  know
• 47:49
  it.
• 47:51
  We
• 47:51
  all
• 47:51
  do
• 47:51
  the
• 47:51
  best
• 47:52
  we
• 47:52
  can.
• 47:52
  And
• 47:53
  I
• 47:53
  do
• 47:53
  think
• 47:53
  there
• 47:53
  are
• 47:54
  some
• 47:54
  good
• 47:54
  ideas
• 47:54
  in
• 47:55
  here.
• 47:55
  Me
• 47:55
  too.
• 47:55
  About
• 47:56
  how
• 47:56
  to
• 47:57
  do
• 47:57
  well
• 47:57
  when
• 47:57
  you're
• 47:58
  home.
• 47:58
  Like
• 47:59
  you
• 47:59
  said
• 47:59
  that
• 48:00
  it
• 48:00
  remind
• 48:01
  you
• 48:01
  got
• 48:02
  some
• 48:02
  good
• 48:02
  ideas
• 48:02
  about
• 48:03
  how
• 48:03
  to
• 48:03
  be
• 48:03
  more
• 48:03
  present
• 48:04
  when
• 48:04
  you
• 48:04
  were
• 48:04
  home.
• 48:04
  Yes.
• 48:05
  And
• 48:05
  also
• 48:05
  again
• 48:05
  it's
• 48:06
  like
• 48:06
  I
• 48:07
  am
• 48:07
  so
• 48:08
  lucky
• 48:09
  that
• 48:09
  I
• 48:09
  can
• 48:10
  design
• 48:11
  my
• 48:11
  workday
• 48:12
  around
• 48:13
  my
• 48:13
  baby
• 48:14
  where
• 48:14
  I
• 48:14
  can
• 48:14
  prioritize
• 48:15
  her
• 48:15
  and
• 48:15
  be
• 48:16
  home
• 48:16
  with
• 48:16
  her.
• 48:16
  Right.
• 48:17
  But
• 48:17
  also
• 48:17
  still
• 48:18
  get
• 48:19
  eight
• 48:19
  hours
• 48:19
  of
• 48:19
  work
• 48:19
  in
• 48:20
  each
• 48:20
  day.
• 48:21
  But
• 48:21
  not
• 48:21
  everybody
• 48:22
  can.
• 48:22
  Not
• 48:22
  everybody,
• 48:23
  no,
• 48:23
  most
• 48:23
  people
• 48:24
  cannot.
• 48:25
  Like
• 48:25
  let
• 48:25
  me
• 48:25
  be
• 48:26
  clear.
• 48:26
  Right.
• 48:26
  Most
• 48:27
  people
• 48:27
  do
• 48:27
  not
• 48:27
  have
• 48:28
  that
• 48:28
  privilege.
• 48:28
  And
• 48:29
  like,
• 48:29
  you
• 48:30
  know,
• 48:30
  I
• 48:30
  think
• 48:30
  it's.
• 48:30
  We
• 48:31
  got
• 48:31
  to
• 48:31
  consider
• 48:32
  that.
• 48:32
  Right.
• 48:33
  But,
• 48:33
  but
• 48:33
  I
• 48:33
  think
• 48:33
  she
• 48:34
  did.
• 48:34
  There's
• 48:34
  so
• 48:34
  many
• 48:34
  scare
• 48:35
  tactics.
• 48:35
  Like
• 48:35
  she,
• 48:36
  you
• 48:36
  know.
• 48:36
  Well,
• 48:37
  there's
• 48:37
  one,
• 48:37
  there's
• 48:38
  like
• 48:38
  a
• 48:38
  whole
• 48:38
  part
• 48:38
  where
• 48:39
  she
• 48:39
  talks
• 48:39
  about
• 48:39
  older
• 48:40
  kids
• 48:40
  they're
• 48:40
  gonna
• 48:41
  have
• 48:41
  trouble
• 48:41
  with.
• 48:42
  If
• 48:42
  you're
• 48:42
  not
• 48:42
  phys
• 48:43
  weren't
• 48:43
  there
• 48:44
  for
• 48:44
  those
• 48:44
  first
• 48:44
  three
• 48:45
  years,
• 48:45
  your
• 48:45
  child
• 48:46
  is
• 48:46
  gonna
• 48:46
  have
• 48:46
  problems
• 48:47
  with
• 48:48
  alcohol,
• 48:48
  drugs,
• 48:49
  eating
• 48:49
  disorders,
• 48:50
  depression,
• 48:51
  anxiety.
• 48:51
  And
• 48:52
  it's
• 48:52
  all
• 48:52
  blamed
• 48:53
  on
• 48:53
  early
• 48:54
  lack
• 48:54
  of
• 48:54
  maternal
• 48:55
  support.
• 48:57
  And
• 48:57
  I
• 48:57
  just,
• 48:58
  you
• 48:58
  know,
• 49:00
  maybe,
• 49:00
  but
• 49:01
  maybe
• 49:01
  not.
• 49:01
  It's
• 49:01
  not
• 49:01
  a
• 49:02
  guarantee
• 49:02
  that
• 49:02
  if
• 49:02
  you're
• 49:03
  there,
• 49:03
  your
• 49:03
  child
• 49:03
  won't
• 49:04
  deal
• 49:04
  with
• 49:04
  any
• 49:05
  of
• 49:05
  these
• 49:05
  things.
• 49:05
  And
• 49:05
  I
• 49:06
  think,
• 49:06
  I
• 49:06
  think
• 49:06
  that's
• 49:07
  a
• 49:07
  kind
• 49:07
  of
• 49:07
  dangerous
• 49:08
  message
• 49:08
  to
• 49:09
  send
• 49:09
  because
• 49:09
  then
• 49:09
  it's
• 49:10
  like,
• 49:10
  oh
• 49:10
  well
• 49:10
  I
• 49:10
  did
• 49:10
  stay
• 49:11
  home
• 49:11
  but
• 49:12
  my
• 49:12
  kid
• 49:12
  still
• 49:12
  is
• 49:13
  dealing
• 49:13
  with
• 49:13
  an
• 49:13
  eating
• 49:13
  disorder.
• 49:14
  And
• 49:15
  it's
• 49:15
  like,
• 49:15
  I
• 49:16
  just
• 49:16
  think
• 49:16
  we
• 49:16
  need
• 49:16
  to
• 49:17
  not
• 49:17
  blame
• 49:18
  mothers.
• 49:18
  Right,
• 49:19
  right.
• 49:20
  We
• 49:20
  shouldn't.
• 49:20
  I
• 49:20
  mean
• 49:21
  there
• 49:21
  are
• 49:21
  certainly
• 49:22
  some
• 49:22
  instances
• 49:22
  where
• 49:23
  parents
• 49:23
  are
• 49:23
  responsible
• 49:24
  for
• 49:24
  particular
• 49:24
  things.
• 49:25
  But
• 49:25
  I
• 49:25
  think
• 49:26
  there
• 49:26
  is
• 49:26
  always.
• 49:27
  I
• 49:28
  look
• 49:28
  at
• 49:28
  it
• 49:28
  this
• 49:28
  way,
• 49:28
  right?
• 49:30
  Mothers
• 49:30
  are
• 49:30
  often
• 49:31
  more.
• 49:32
  More
• 49:32
  responsible
• 49:33
  for
• 49:33
  their
• 49:33
  children
• 49:34
  both
• 49:34
  in
• 49:34
  terms
• 49:34
  of
• 49:35
  time
• 49:35
  and
• 49:35
  in
• 49:35
  terms
• 49:36
  of
• 49:36
  energy
• 49:36
  and
• 49:37
  the
• 49:37
  mental
• 49:38
  mode.
• 49:38
  So
• 49:38
  if
• 49:39
  something
• 49:39
  goes
• 49:39
  wrong,
• 49:40
  chances
• 49:40
  are
• 49:40
  it
• 49:41
  will
• 49:41
  go
• 49:41
  wrong
• 49:41
  on
• 49:41
  the
• 49:42
  mother's
• 49:42
  watch
• 49:43
  because
• 49:43
  the
• 49:43
  mother
• 49:44
  is
• 49:44
  there
• 49:44
  most
• 49:45
  of
• 49:45
  the
• 49:45
  time
• 49:45
  it
• 49:46
  is
• 49:46
  just
• 49:46
  math.
• 49:47
  And
• 49:48
  I
• 49:48
  think
• 49:48
  there's
• 49:48
  this
• 49:48
  idea
• 49:49
  that
• 49:49
  it's
• 49:49
  like,
• 49:49
  oh
• 49:49
  well,
• 49:50
  something
• 49:50
  went
• 49:50
  wrong
• 49:50
  on
• 49:50
  your
• 49:51
  watch.
• 49:51
  It's
• 49:51
  like,
• 49:51
  well,
• 49:51
  yeah,
• 49:52
  my
• 49:52
  watch
• 49:53
  is
• 49:53
  my
• 49:53
  watch.
• 49:53
  It's
• 49:54
  always
• 49:54
  a
• 49:54
  my
• 49:54
  watch.
• 49:55
  So,
• 49:55
  like,
• 49:55
  what
• 49:56
  do
• 49:56
  you
• 49:56
  want?
• 49:57
  And
• 49:57
  I
• 49:57
  think
• 49:57
  she
• 49:57
  does
• 49:58
  make
• 49:58
  some
• 49:58
  interesting
• 49:58
  points
• 49:59
  later
• 49:59
  on
• 49:59
  where
• 49:59
  she's
• 50:00
  like,
• 50:00
  we
• 50:00
  need
• 50:01
  the
• 50:01
  government
• 50:02
  to
• 50:02
  be
• 50:02
  more.
• 50:03
  We
• 50:03
  need
• 50:03
  society
• 50:04
  to
• 50:04
  be
• 50:05
  more
• 50:05
  supportive
• 50:05
  of
• 50:06
  mothers
• 50:06
  who
• 50:07
  do
• 50:07
  choose
• 50:08
  to
• 50:08
  stay
• 50:08
  home
• 50:08
  with
• 50:09
  their
• 50:09
  children.
• 50:09
  And
• 50:10
  they're
• 50:10
  right.
• 50:10
  It
• 50:10
  should
• 50:11
  be
• 50:11
  an
• 50:11
  option
• 50:12
  for
• 50:12
  more
• 50:12
  women
• 50:13
  who
• 50:13
  want
• 50:13
  to
• 50:14
  do
• 50:14
  it.
• 50:15
  Key
• 50:16
  word,
• 50:16
  want
• 50:17
  to
• 50:17
  do
• 50:17
  it.
• 50:18
  Because
• 50:18
  feminism
• 50:19
  is
• 50:19
  about
• 50:19
  choice.
• 50:20
  Right,
• 50:20
  Right.
• 50:21
  But
• 50:22
  we
• 50:22
  all
• 50:22
  know,
• 50:22
  too,
• 50:22
  that
• 50:23
  a
• 50:23
  lot
• 50:23
  of
• 50:23
  women
• 50:23
  don't
• 50:24
  have
• 50:24
  choices
• 50:25
  just
• 50:25
  because
• 50:26
  they
• 50:26
  have
• 50:26
  to
• 50:26
  work
• 50:27
  to
• 50:27
  pay
• 50:27
  the
• 50:27
  rent,
• 50:28
  to
• 50:28
  help
• 50:28
  pay
• 50:28
  the
• 50:28
  rent.
• 50:29
  We
• 50:29
  got
• 50:29
  bills.
• 50:30
  Yeah.
• 50:30
  And
• 50:30
  so.
• 50:31
  So
• 50:31
  I
• 50:31
  don't
• 50:32
  want
• 50:32
  women
• 50:32
  who
• 50:33
  have
• 50:33
  to
• 50:33
  work
• 50:33
  or
• 50:34
  choose
• 50:34
  to
• 50:35
  work
• 50:35
  to
• 50:36
  feel
• 50:36
  like,
• 50:36
  oh,
• 50:36
  my
• 50:37
  God,
• 50:38
  that's.
• 50:38
  You
• 50:38
  know,
• 50:39
  this
• 50:39
  would
• 50:39
  be
• 50:39
  terrible
• 50:40
  for
• 50:40
  my
• 50:40
  child.
• 50:41
  There
• 50:41
  are
• 50:41
  ways
• 50:42
  to
• 50:42
  make
• 50:42
  it
• 50:42
  work.
• 50:43
  And
• 50:43
  I
• 50:44
  think,
• 50:44
  you
• 50:44
  know,
• 50:44
  if
• 50:45
  you're
• 50:45
  gone
• 50:45
  part
• 50:45
  time
• 50:46
  and
• 50:46
  you've
• 50:46
  arranged,
• 50:47
  or
• 50:47
  you're.
• 50:48
  Even
• 50:48
  if
• 50:48
  you're
• 50:48
  gone,
• 50:49
  work
• 50:49
  full
• 50:50
  time,
• 50:50
  but
• 50:50
  you're
• 50:50
  gone
• 50:50
  part
• 50:51
  of
• 50:51
  the
• 50:51
  day,
• 50:52
  you
• 50:52
  know,
• 50:52
  you
• 50:52
  arrange
• 50:53
  for
• 50:53
  great.
• 50:53
  As
• 50:53
  good
• 50:54
  of
• 50:54
  childcare
• 50:55
  as
• 50:55
  you
• 50:55
  possibly
• 50:55
  can
• 50:56
  for
• 50:56
  your
• 50:57
  child.
• 50:57
  I
• 50:57
  mean,
• 50:57
  that's
• 50:58
  what
• 50:58
  we
• 50:58
  did.
• 50:58
  And
• 50:58
  I
• 50:59
  mean,
• 50:59
  we
• 50:59
  had
• 50:59
  a
• 50:59
  babysitter.
• 51:01
  We
• 51:01
  were
• 51:01
  lucky
• 51:01
  we
• 51:02
  could
• 51:02
  afford
• 51:02
  to
• 51:02
  have
• 51:03
  a
• 51:03
  babysitter.
• 51:04
  Because
• 51:04
  you
• 51:04
  both
• 51:04
  worked.
• 51:05
  Well,
• 51:05
  we
• 51:05
  both
• 51:05
  worked.
• 51:06
  Yeah.
• 51:06
  Right.
• 51:07
  And
• 51:07
  most.
• 51:07
  A
• 51:07
  lot
• 51:07
  of
• 51:08
  my
• 51:08
  salary,
• 51:08
  I
• 51:09
  think,
• 51:09
  went
• 51:10
  to
• 51:10
  paying
• 51:10
  the
• 51:10
  babysitter
• 51:11
  and
• 51:11
  the
• 51:12
  rent
• 51:12
  and
• 51:12
  all
• 51:12
  the
• 51:13
  things
• 51:13
  we
• 51:13
  had
• 51:13
  to
• 51:13
  pay
• 51:13
  for.
• 51:14
  But
• 51:15
  we
• 51:15
  had.
• 51:15
  You
• 51:16
  know,
• 51:16
  I
• 51:16
  think.
• 51:16
  I
• 51:16
  don't
• 51:16
  know
• 51:17
  about
• 51:17
  you,
• 51:17
  but
• 51:17
  I
• 51:17
  know
• 51:17
  Sam
• 51:18
  almost
• 51:18
  thinks
• 51:19
  that
• 51:19
  we
• 51:20
  had
• 51:20
  three
• 51:20
  parents
• 51:21
  in
• 51:21
  the
• 51:21
  house.
• 51:21
  There
• 51:22
  was
• 51:22
  me
• 51:22
  and
• 51:23
  dad
• 51:23
  and
• 51:23
  Bev.
• 51:24
  And
• 51:25
  he
• 51:25
  considered
• 51:25
  her
• 51:25
  like
• 51:26
  a.
• 51:27
  He
• 51:27
  was.
• 51:27
  I
• 51:27
  mean,
• 51:27
  I
• 51:28
  remember
• 51:28
  as
• 51:28
  a
• 51:29
  kid,
• 51:29
  I
• 51:29
  got
• 51:29
  really
• 51:29
  sick.
• 51:30
  I
• 51:30
  got
• 51:30
  an
• 51:30
  autoimmune
• 51:31
  illness.
• 51:32
  I
• 51:32
  remember.
• 51:32
  And
• 51:33
  I
• 51:33
  mean,
• 51:34
  Bev
• 51:34
  was
• 51:34
  with
• 51:34
  me
• 51:35
  for
• 51:35
  so
• 51:35
  much
• 51:36
  of
• 51:36
  that.
• 51:36
  Yeah.
• 51:37
  You
• 51:37
  know,
• 51:37
  she
• 51:37
  also
• 51:38
  taught
• 51:38
  me
• 51:39
  there
• 51:39
  were
• 51:39
  some
• 51:40
  things.
• 51:40
  I
• 51:40
  think
• 51:40
  some
• 51:41
  of
• 51:41
  the
• 51:41
  doctors
• 51:43
  were.
• 51:44
  They
• 51:44
  didn't
• 51:45
  really
• 51:45
  know
• 51:45
  how
• 51:45
  to
• 51:45
  deal
• 51:45
  with
• 51:45
  kids.
• 51:46
  Yeah.
• 51:46
  You
• 51:47
  know.
• 51:47
  Cause
• 51:47
  it
• 51:47
  was
• 51:47
  a
• 51:48
  condition
• 51:48
  that
• 51:49
  mostly
• 51:49
  adults
• 51:49
  had.
• 51:50
  And
• 51:51
  Bev
• 51:51
  was
• 51:51
  there
• 51:51
  in
• 51:52
  the
• 51:52
  room
• 51:52
  with
• 51:52
  me
• 51:52
  every
• 51:52
  time,
• 51:53
  advocating
• 51:53
  for
• 51:54
  me,
• 51:54
  teaching
• 51:55
  me
• 51:55
  how
• 51:55
  to
• 51:55
  advocate
• 51:55
  for
• 51:56
  myself.
• 51:57
  And,
• 51:57
  like,
• 51:58
  that
• 51:58
  was
• 51:58
  a
• 51:59
  really
• 51:59
  important
• 51:59
  thing
• 52:00
  to
• 52:00
  learn.
• 52:01
  And
• 52:01
  I'm
• 52:01
  so
• 52:01
  grateful
• 52:02
  that
• 52:02
  I
• 52:02
  had
• 52:03
  her
• 52:03
  because
• 52:03
  you
• 52:03
  guys
• 52:03
  also
• 52:04
  parented
• 52:04
  really
• 52:05
  differently.
• 52:05
  I
• 52:05
  learned
• 52:06
  different
• 52:06
  things
• 52:06
  from
• 52:06
  each
• 52:07
  of
• 52:07
  you,
• 52:08
  and
• 52:08
  all
• 52:08
  of
• 52:08
  that
• 52:09
  is
• 52:09
  valuable.
• 52:09
  And
• 52:10
  all
• 52:10
  of
• 52:10
  that
• 52:10
  contributed
• 52:11
  to
• 52:11
  who
• 52:11
  I
• 52:11
  am
• 52:12
  as
• 52:12
  a
• 52:12
  person
• 52:12
  now.
• 52:13
  Right.
• 52:13
  We
• 52:13
  were
• 52:13
  lucky.
• 52:14
  We
• 52:14
  were
• 52:14
  so
• 52:15
  lucky
• 52:15
  to
• 52:15
  have
• 52:16
  such
• 52:16
  a
• 52:16
  great
• 52:16
  babysitter.
• 52:17
  I
• 52:17
  mean,
• 52:18
  I
• 52:19
  talked
• 52:19
  to
• 52:19
  many
• 52:20
  people
• 52:20
  before
• 52:21
  Bev
• 52:21
  was
• 52:21
  the
• 52:21
  person.
• 52:22
  But
• 52:22
  the
• 52:22
  minute
• 52:23
  Bev
• 52:23
  came
• 52:23
  into
• 52:23
  our
• 52:24
  home
• 52:24
  and
• 52:24
  she
• 52:24
  picked
• 52:25
  you
• 52:25
  up,
• 52:26
  there
• 52:26
  was
• 52:26
  just
• 52:26
  such
• 52:26
  a
• 52:27
  rapport.
• 52:27
  I
• 52:28
  could
• 52:28
  just
• 52:28
  see
• 52:28
  it
• 52:28
  was
• 52:28
  different
• 52:29
  from
• 52:29
  anybody
• 52:30
  else
• 52:30
  who
• 52:30
  had
• 52:30
  come.
• 52:31
  She
• 52:32
  was
• 52:32
  so
• 52:32
  connected
• 52:33
  to
• 52:33
  you
• 52:33
  just
• 52:34
  immediately.
• 52:35
  And
• 52:35
  you
• 52:35
  were,
• 52:35
  like,
• 52:36
  totally
• 52:36
  connected
• 52:36
  to
• 52:37
  her.
• 52:37
  And
• 52:37
  so
• 52:37
  I
• 52:37
  was
• 52:38
  like.
• 52:39
  I
• 52:39
  just
• 52:39
  knew
• 52:40
  she
• 52:40
  was
• 52:40
  the
• 52:40
  one,
• 52:41
  and
• 52:41
  she
• 52:41
  was.
• 52:42
  And
• 52:42
  she's
• 52:42
  still
• 52:42
  in
• 52:42
  our
• 52:43
  lives.
• 52:43
  Yeah.
• 52:43
  It's
• 52:44
  just
• 52:44
  amazing.
• 52:44
  I
• 52:44
  mean,
• 52:44
  she
• 52:44
  just
• 52:45
  met
• 52:45
  my
• 52:45
  baby
• 52:45
  a
• 52:45
  couple
• 52:46
  months
• 52:46
  ago,
• 52:46
  which
• 52:46
  is
• 52:46
  so
• 52:47
  special,
• 52:48
  you
• 52:48
  know?
• 52:48
  And,
• 52:49
  like,
• 52:49
  I
• 52:49
  also
• 52:50
  feel
• 52:50
  like,
• 52:50
  too,
• 52:50
  she.
• 52:51
  She
• 52:51
  raised
• 52:51
  us
• 52:51
  the
• 52:51
  way
• 52:51
  she
• 52:52
  raised
• 52:52
  her
• 52:52
  own
• 52:52
  kids.
• 52:52
  So
• 52:53
  there
• 52:53
  was
• 52:53
  definitely
• 52:54
  more
• 52:54
  discipline
• 52:55
  and
• 52:55
  structure
• 52:56
  and
• 52:57
  experience
• 52:57
  because
• 52:57
  she
• 52:58
  had
• 52:58
  done
• 52:58
  it.
• 52:58
  Yeah.
• 52:58
  So
• 52:59
  many
• 52:59
  more
• 52:59
  times.
• 53:00
  We
• 53:00
  didn't
• 53:00
  know
• 53:00
  what
• 53:00
  we
• 53:00
  were
• 53:01
  doing,
• 53:01
  but
• 53:01
  she.
• 53:01
  She
• 53:02
  did.
• 53:02
  You
• 53:03
  and
• 53:03
  dad
• 53:03
  were
• 53:03
  like
• 53:03
  our
• 53:04
  friends.
• 53:05
  No,
• 53:05
  I
• 53:05
  don't
• 53:06
  say
• 53:06
  that.
• 53:06
  We
• 53:07
  tried
• 53:07
  to
• 53:07
  be
• 53:07
  parents.
• 53:08
  We
• 53:08
  were.
• 53:08
  No,
• 53:09
  you
• 53:09
  were.
• 53:09
  You
• 53:09
  were
• 53:10
  parents.
• 53:10
  But
• 53:10
  it
• 53:10
  was
• 53:11
  just
• 53:11
  different.
• 53:11
  I
• 53:11
  mean,
• 53:11
  it's
• 53:12
  like,
• 53:13
  you
• 53:13
  know,
• 53:13
  bev
• 53:14
  had
• 53:14
  raised
• 53:14
  20
• 53:15
  kids.
• 53:15
  Yeah.
• 53:16
  Before
• 53:16
  she'd
• 53:16
  met
• 53:16
  us.
• 53:17
  She
• 53:17
  knew
• 53:17
  she
• 53:17
  was
• 53:17
  doing.
• 53:18
  She
• 53:18
  knew
• 53:18
  what
• 53:18
  worked,
• 53:18
  she
• 53:18
  knew
• 53:19
  what
• 53:19
  didn't,
• 53:19
  you
• 53:19
  know?
• 53:20
  Whereas
• 53:20
  you
• 53:20
  guys
• 53:20
  were
• 53:21
  like,
• 53:21
  it's
• 53:22
  our
• 53:22
  first
• 53:22
  shot.
• 53:23
  We
• 53:23
  don't
• 53:23
  know
• 53:23
  what
• 53:24
  we're
• 53:24
  doing
• 53:24
  yet.
• 53:25
  We
• 53:25
  weren't
• 53:25
  embarrassed
• 53:26
  to
• 53:26
  admit
• 53:26
  it,
• 53:27
  but
• 53:27
  it
• 53:27
  was.
• 53:28
  So
• 53:28
  I
• 53:29
  think
• 53:29
  it's
• 53:29
  doable.
• 53:29
  Yeah,
• 53:30
  absolutely.
• 53:31
  Whether
• 53:31
  it's
• 53:31
  a
• 53:32
  babysitter
• 53:33
  like
• 53:33
  Bev,
• 53:33
  or
• 53:34
  maybe
• 53:34
  it's
• 53:34
  a
• 53:35
  relative
• 53:36
  that
• 53:36
  lives
• 53:36
  nearby
• 53:37
  or
• 53:37
  a
• 53:38
  neighbor
• 53:38
  who
• 53:39
  can
• 53:39
  help
• 53:39
  you,
• 53:40
  you
• 53:40
  know,
• 53:41
  it
• 53:41
  can
• 53:41
  be
• 53:41
  figured
• 53:42
  out.
• 53:44
  I
• 53:44
  think
• 53:44
  that
• 53:44
  my
• 53:44
  main
• 53:44
  issue
• 53:45
  with
• 53:45
  this
• 53:45
  book
• 53:45
  is
• 53:45
  all
• 53:46
  the
• 53:46
  guilt,
• 53:46
  the
• 53:46
  heaping
• 53:47
  heaps
• 53:48
  of
• 53:48
  guilt
• 53:49
  on
• 53:49
  mothers
• 53:50
  who
• 53:51
  choose
• 53:51
  to
• 53:51
  work
• 53:51
  or
• 53:52
  have
• 53:52
  to
• 53:52
  work.
• 53:52
  And
• 53:52
  I
• 53:53
  just
• 53:53
  don't
• 53:53
  think
• 53:53
  that
• 53:53
  the
• 53:54
  guilt
• 53:54
  is
• 53:54
  constructive.
• 53:55
  Right.
• 53:55
  Well,
• 53:56
  here's
• 53:56
  a.
• 53:56
  Here's
• 53:56
  a
• 53:56
  quote.
• 53:57
  If
• 53:57
  you
• 53:57
  step
• 53:57
  off
• 53:57
  the
• 53:58
  corporate
• 53:58
  ladder
• 53:58
  to
• 53:58
  focus
• 53:59
  on
• 53:59
  your
• 53:59
  children,
• 54:00
  you
• 54:00
  might
• 54:00
  not
• 54:01
  be
• 54:01
  able
• 54:01
  to
• 54:01
  get
• 54:01
  back
• 54:02
  on
• 54:02
  at
• 54:02
  the
• 54:02
  same
• 54:03
  level.
• 54:03
  But
• 54:03
  isn't
• 54:04
  that
• 54:04
  better
• 54:04
  than
• 54:04
  not
• 54:05
  having
• 54:05
  an
• 54:05
  emotionally
• 54:06
  healthy
• 54:06
  child
• 54:07
  or
• 54:07
  not
• 54:07
  having
• 54:08
  kids
• 54:08
  that
• 54:08
  are
• 54:08
  close
• 54:08
  to
• 54:09
  you?
• 54:09
  Why
• 54:09
  are
• 54:10
  we
• 54:10
  pretending
• 54:10
  these
• 54:10
  are
• 54:10
  mutually
• 54:11
  exclusive?
• 54:11
  Right.
• 54:12
  They're
• 54:12
  not.
• 54:12
  That's
• 54:13
  what
• 54:13
  I
• 54:13
  think.
• 54:13
  I
• 54:14
  agree.
• 54:15
  And
• 54:15
  again,
• 54:16
  it's
• 54:16
  like,
• 54:16
  it
• 54:17
  has
• 54:17
  to
• 54:17
  make
• 54:17
  sense
• 54:18
  for
• 54:18
  everyone
• 54:18
  in
• 54:18
  the
• 54:18
  family.
• 54:19
  A
• 54:19
  family
• 54:19
  is
• 54:20
  more
• 54:20
  than
• 54:20
  one
• 54:21
  person.
• 54:21
  It
• 54:21
  is
• 54:21
  more
• 54:21
  than
• 54:22
  just
• 54:22
  a
• 54:22
  child,
• 54:22
  is
• 54:22
  more
• 54:23
  than
• 54:23
  just
• 54:23
  a
• 54:23
  mother.
• 54:24
  What
• 54:24
  makes
• 54:24
  sense
• 54:25
  for
• 54:26
  the
• 54:26
  whole
• 54:26
  group.
• 54:28
  Exactly.
• 54:28
  You
• 54:29
  know,
• 54:29
  Exactly.
• 54:29
  And
• 54:30
  I
• 54:30
  digress.
• 54:30
  Yeah.
• 54:31
  No,
• 54:31
  no,
• 54:31
  That's.
• 54:32
  That's
• 54:32
  actually
• 54:32
  what
• 54:32
  the
• 54:32
  book
• 54:33
  is
• 54:33
  about.
• 54:33
  I
• 54:33
  mean,
• 54:34
  and,
• 54:35
  you
• 54:35
  know,
• 54:35
  I
• 54:35
  just.
• 54:36
  I
• 54:36
  think,
• 54:37
  you
• 54:37
  know,
• 54:37
  you
• 54:37
  can
• 54:38
  certainly
• 54:38
  feel
• 54:38
  good
• 54:38
  about
• 54:39
  Staying
• 54:39
  home
• 54:39
  and
• 54:40
  being
• 54:40
  there
• 54:40
  and
• 54:41
  really
• 54:41
  work
• 54:41
  on
• 54:42
  being
• 54:42
  emotionally
• 54:42
  present
• 54:43
  for
• 54:43
  your
• 54:43
  child.
• 54:44
  Even
• 54:45
  when,
• 54:45
  you
• 54:45
  know,
• 54:45
  when
• 54:45
  you're
• 54:46
  home
• 54:46
  and
• 54:46
  you're
• 54:46
  there
• 54:46
  all
• 54:47
  the
• 54:47
  time.
• 54:47
  I
• 54:47
  think
• 54:47
  the,
• 54:48
  the
• 54:48
  risk
• 54:48
  is
• 54:49
  that
• 54:49
  you
• 54:49
  might,
• 54:49
  you
• 54:50
  know,
• 54:50
  it
• 54:50
  might
• 54:50
  get
• 54:50
  a
• 54:50
  little
• 54:50
  boring
• 54:51
  because
• 54:51
  you're
• 54:51
  not
• 54:51
  doing
• 54:51
  as
• 54:52
  many
• 54:52
  other
• 54:52
  things
• 54:53
  like
• 54:53
  you
• 54:53
  said,
• 54:53
  when
• 54:53
  the
• 54:54
  baby's
• 54:54
  asleep
• 54:54
  or
• 54:54
  whatever.
• 54:55
  So
• 54:55
  you
• 54:56
  have
• 54:56
  to
• 54:56
  work
• 54:56
  on
• 54:56
  really
• 54:57
  being
• 54:57
  emotionally
• 54:58
  present
• 54:58
  when
• 54:59
  they're
• 54:59
  awake.
• 55:00
  It
• 55:00
  reminds
• 55:00
  me
• 55:01
  of
• 55:01
  this
• 55:01
  thing
• 55:01
  my,
• 55:02
  one
• 55:02
  of
• 55:02
  my
• 55:02
  teachers
• 55:03
  used
• 55:03
  to
• 55:03
  say
• 55:03
  is
• 55:03
  there
• 55:04
  are
• 55:04
  no
• 55:04
  boring
• 55:05
  parts,
• 55:05
  just
• 55:05
  boring
• 55:06
  actors.
• 55:06
  Oh.
• 55:07
  And
• 55:07
  I'm
• 55:07
  like,
• 55:08
  whoa.
• 55:09
  Because
• 55:09
  he's
• 55:09
  like,
• 55:09
  you
• 55:09
  might
• 55:09
  have
• 55:10
  one
• 55:10
  line,
• 55:10
  but
• 55:10
  you
• 55:10
  can
• 55:10
  steal
• 55:11
  the
• 55:11
  show
• 55:11
  with
• 55:11
  one
• 55:12
  line.
• 55:12
  Right.
• 55:12
  You
• 55:13
  know,
• 55:13
  and
• 55:13
  it's
• 55:13
  like
• 55:13
  you,
• 55:14
  you
• 55:14
  make
• 55:15
  your
• 55:15
  own
• 55:15
  entertainment.
• 55:16
  What's
• 55:16
  fun
• 55:16
  about
• 55:17
  being
• 55:18
  like.
• 55:19
  I
• 55:19
  feel
• 55:19
  like
• 55:19
  I'm
• 55:19
  creative
• 55:20
  and
• 55:20
  I've
• 55:20
  had
• 55:20
  so
• 55:21
  much
• 55:21
  fun
• 55:21
  being
• 55:22
  creative
• 55:23
  for
• 55:23
  my
• 55:23
  daughter.
• 55:24
  Yeah.
• 55:24
  Like
• 55:25
  doing
• 55:25
  her
• 55:25
  room
• 55:26
  and
• 55:26
  like
• 55:27
  showing
• 55:27
  her
• 55:28
  how
• 55:28
  to
• 55:28
  like
• 55:28
  do
• 55:29
  some
• 55:29
  of
• 55:29
  the
• 55:29
  fun
• 55:29
  things
• 55:29
  that
• 55:30
  I
• 55:30
  like
• 55:30
  to
• 55:30
  do
• 55:30
  and
• 55:31
  playing
• 55:31
  with
• 55:31
  her
• 55:31
  in
• 55:31
  ways
• 55:32
  like
• 55:32
  that.
• 55:32
  It's
• 55:33
  just
• 55:33
  like
• 55:34
  you
• 55:34
  can
• 55:34
  sometimes
• 55:35
  take
• 55:35
  the
• 55:35
  things
• 55:36
  from
• 55:36
  your
• 55:37
  career
• 55:38
  and
• 55:38
  your
• 55:38
  pre
• 55:39
  baby
• 55:39
  life
• 55:40
  and
• 55:40
  integrate
• 55:41
  them.
• 55:41
  Yes,
• 55:42
  yes.
• 55:43
  Right.
• 55:43
  To
• 55:43
  make
• 55:43
  life
• 55:43
  interesting
• 55:44
  and
• 55:44
  fun.
• 55:45
  Yeah.
• 55:45
  And
• 55:45
  make
• 55:45
  your
• 55:46
  daughter
• 55:46
  laugh.
• 55:46
  Yeah.
• 55:47
  It's
• 55:47
  good.
• 55:47
  And,
• 55:48
  and
• 55:48
  that
• 55:48
  if
• 55:49
  you're
• 55:49
  staying
• 55:49
  home
• 55:50
  that,
• 55:50
  you
• 55:50
  know,
• 55:51
  do
• 55:51
  do
• 55:52
  all
• 55:52
  those
• 55:52
  things
• 55:52
  and
• 55:53
  if
• 55:53
  you
• 55:53
  are
• 55:53
  working,
• 55:54
  then
• 55:54
  you
• 55:54
  have
• 55:55
  to
• 55:55
  find
• 55:55
  ways
• 55:55
  to
• 55:55
  just
• 55:56
  make
• 55:56
  the
• 55:56
  most
• 55:56
  of
• 55:57
  the
• 55:57
  time
• 55:57
  you
• 55:57
  are
• 55:57
  with
• 55:58
  your
• 55:58
  child.
• 55:58
  Yeah.
• 55:59
  You
• 56:00
  know,
• 56:00
  and.
• 56:00
  And
• 56:00
  it's,
• 56:01
  it's
• 56:01
  not
• 56:01
  easy,
• 56:01
  but
• 56:02
  you
• 56:02
  do
• 56:02
  it.
• 56:03
  And
• 56:03
  that's
• 56:03
  what
• 56:03
  I
• 56:04
  used
• 56:04
  to
• 56:04
  do.
• 56:04
  You
• 56:05
  know,
• 56:05
  I'd
• 56:05
  go
• 56:05
  to
• 56:05
  work
• 56:05
  all
• 56:06
  day,
• 56:06
  but
• 56:06
  when
• 56:06
  I
• 56:06
  was
• 56:07
  home,
• 56:07
  I
• 56:07
  was
• 56:07
  fully.
• 56:07
  I
• 56:08
  felt
• 56:08
  like
• 56:09
  I
• 56:09
  was
• 56:09
  fully
• 56:09
  present.
• 56:10
  I
• 56:10
  tried
• 56:10
  to
• 56:10
  be
• 56:11
  fully
• 56:11
  present.
• 56:12
  I
• 56:12
  wish
• 56:13
  I
• 56:13
  could
• 56:13
  remember.
• 56:13
  I
• 56:14
  don't
• 56:14
  remember
• 56:14
  either.
• 56:15
  But
• 56:15
  again.
• 56:15
  But
• 56:16
  I
• 56:16
  think
• 56:16
  I
• 56:16
  was
• 56:16
  in
• 56:17
  point.
• 56:17
  I
• 56:17
  turned
• 56:18
  out
• 56:18
  fine.
• 56:18
  You
• 56:19
  did.
• 56:19
  You
• 56:19
  did.
• 56:20
  And
• 56:21
  you
• 56:21
  know,
• 56:21
  you
• 56:22
  went
• 56:22
  through
• 56:22
  childhood,
• 56:23
  there
• 56:23
  were
• 56:23
  issues
• 56:24
  as
• 56:24
  there
• 56:24
  will
• 56:25
  be
• 56:25
  for
• 56:25
  any
• 56:25
  parent
• 56:26
  with
• 56:26
  any
• 56:26
  child.
• 56:27
  There
• 56:27
  always
• 56:27
  are.
• 56:28
  But
• 56:29
  I
• 56:29
  never
• 56:29
  felt
• 56:30
  it
• 56:30
  was
• 56:30
  because
• 56:30
  of
• 56:31
  me
• 56:31
  not
• 56:31
  being
• 56:31
  there
• 56:32
  during
• 56:32
  the
• 56:32
  first
• 56:33
  three
• 56:33
  years.
• 56:34
  It
• 56:34
  wasn't.
• 56:35
  Yeah.
• 56:36
  I
• 56:36
  was
• 56:36
  a
• 56:36
  difficult
• 56:37
  child
• 56:37
  on
• 56:37
  my
• 56:38
  own
• 56:38
  accord.
• 56:38
  Yeah.
• 56:39
  Because
• 56:39
  I
• 56:39
  loved
• 56:40
  it.
• 56:40
  Liked
• 56:40
  to
• 56:40
  test
• 56:40
  boundaries.
• 56:41
  Right.
• 56:42
  That
• 56:42
  was
• 56:42
  like.
• 56:42
  I
• 56:43
  hated
• 56:43
  authority
• 56:44
  and
• 56:44
  I
• 56:44
  like
• 56:44
  to
• 56:44
  test
• 56:44
  boundaries.
• 56:45
  That
• 56:45
  had
• 56:45
  nothing
• 56:45
  to
• 56:45
  do
• 56:46
  with
• 56:46
  you.
• 56:46
  Yes,
• 56:47
  yes.
• 56:47
  That
• 56:47
  honestly
• 56:48
  probably
• 56:48
  had
• 56:48
  more
• 56:48
  to
• 56:49
  do
• 56:49
  with
• 56:49
  dad.
• 56:50
  Well,
• 56:51
  maybe
• 56:51
  so,
• 56:52
  but.
• 56:53
  So
• 56:53
  I
• 56:53
  think,
• 56:53
  you
• 56:54
  know,
• 56:54
  I
• 56:54
  guess
• 56:54
  what
• 56:54
  I
• 56:55
  would
• 56:55
  say
• 56:55
  about
• 56:55
  this
• 56:55
  book
• 56:56
  is,
• 56:58
  I
• 56:58
  don't
• 56:58
  know
• 56:58
  is,
• 57:00
  you
• 57:00
  know,
• 57:00
  it's.
• 57:02
  I
• 57:02
  don't
• 57:02
  want
• 57:02
  women
• 57:03
  to
• 57:03
  read
• 57:03
  it
• 57:04
  and
• 57:04
  feel
• 57:04
  like
• 57:04
  oh
• 57:05
  my
• 57:05
  God,
• 57:05
  I
• 57:05
  have
• 57:05
  so
• 57:06
  screwed
• 57:06
  up
• 57:06
  because
• 57:06
  I'm
• 57:07
  not
• 57:07
  home
• 57:07
  with
• 57:07
  my
• 57:07
  child
• 57:08
  in
• 57:08
  the
• 57:08
  first
• 57:08
  three
• 57:08
  years.
• 57:09
  Yeah.
• 57:09
  I
• 57:09
  think,
• 57:09
  think
• 57:10
  this
• 57:10
  book
• 57:10
  is
• 57:10
  very
• 57:11
  one
• 57:11
  sided.
• 57:13
  I
• 57:14
  think,
• 57:14
  sure,
• 57:14
  it
• 57:15
  might
• 57:15
  be
• 57:15
  better,
• 57:16
  it
• 57:16
  might
• 57:16
  be
• 57:16
  great
• 57:17
  if
• 57:17
  you
• 57:17
  can
• 57:17
  be
• 57:17
  home
• 57:18
  in
• 57:18
  the
• 57:18
  first
• 57:18
  three
• 57:18
  years.
• 57:19
  But
• 57:19
  if
• 57:19
  you
• 57:19
  can't,
• 57:20
  it
• 57:20
  can
• 57:20
  still
• 57:20
  be
• 57:21
  great.
• 57:21
  And
• 57:22
  it
• 57:22
  can
• 57:22
  be
• 57:22
  great
• 57:22
  because
• 57:24
  you
• 57:24
  just
• 57:24
  work
• 57:24
  on
• 57:25
  being
• 57:25
  emotionally
• 57:25
  present
• 57:26
  and
• 57:26
  fully
• 57:26
  present
• 57:26
  when
• 57:27
  you
• 57:27
  are
• 57:27
  there
• 57:28
  and
• 57:28
  you
• 57:28
  work
• 57:28
  on
• 57:28
  making
• 57:29
  sure
• 57:29
  that
• 57:29
  you
• 57:29
  have
• 57:29
  other
• 57:30
  good
• 57:30
  caregivers
• 57:30
  in
• 57:31
  the
• 57:31
  house
• 57:32
  and
• 57:32
  your
• 57:32
  child
• 57:32
  will
• 57:33
  be
• 57:33
  fine.
• 57:34
  Don't
• 57:35
  feel
• 57:35
  like,
• 57:36
  you
• 57:36
  know,
• 57:36
  you
• 57:36
  have
• 57:37
  to
• 57:37
  be
• 57:37
  there
• 57:37
  for
• 57:37
  the
• 57:38
  first
• 57:38
  three
• 57:38
  years
• 57:39
  as
• 57:39
  she
• 57:40
  just,
• 57:40
  she's
• 57:40
  trying
• 57:41
  to
• 57:41
  make
• 57:41
  a
• 57:41
  point.
• 57:41
  Yeah.
• 57:42
  And
• 57:42
  that's
• 57:42
  her
• 57:42
  point.
• 57:43
  Which.
• 57:43
  Fair,
• 57:43
  you
• 57:44
  know,
• 57:44
  fair
• 57:44
  enough.
• 57:45
  She
• 57:45
  also
• 57:45
  makes
• 57:45
  another
• 57:46
  point
• 57:46
  too
• 57:46
  where
• 57:46
  she's
• 57:47
  like,
• 57:47
  you
• 57:47
  know,
• 57:47
  maternity
• 57:48
  policies
• 57:50
  are
• 57:50
  bad.
• 57:51
  In
• 57:51
  like
• 57:52
  ideal
• 57:52
  situations
• 57:53
  in
• 57:53
  this
• 57:53
  country,
• 57:53
  you
• 57:53
  might
• 57:54
  get
• 57:54
  three
• 57:54
  months
• 57:54
  off.
• 57:54
  In
• 57:55
  amazing
• 57:55
  situations,
• 57:56
  you
• 57:57
  might
• 57:57
  get
• 57:57
  six
• 57:57
  months
• 57:58
  off
• 57:58
  with
• 57:58
  full
• 57:58
  salary
• 57:59
  and
• 57:59
  then
• 57:59
  you
• 57:59
  have
• 58:00
  the
• 58:00
  option
• 58:00
  to
• 58:00
  take
• 58:01
  partial
• 58:01
  pay
• 58:02
  or
• 58:02
  no
• 58:02
  pay
• 58:02
  at
• 58:02
  all
• 58:03
  and
• 58:03
  come
• 58:03
  back
• 58:03
  to
• 58:03
  your
• 58:03
  job
• 58:04
  job
• 58:04
  which
• 58:05
  like,
• 58:06
  again,
• 58:07
  if,
• 58:08
  if
• 58:08
  there
• 58:08
  could
• 58:08
  be
• 58:09
  a
• 58:09
  world
• 58:10
  where
• 58:10
  women
• 58:10
  could
• 58:11
  take
• 58:11
  three
• 58:11
  full
• 58:12
  years
• 58:13
  at
• 58:13
  full
• 58:13
  salary.
• 58:14
  Right.
• 58:14
  To
• 58:15
  do
• 58:15
  it.
• 58:15
  But
• 58:15
  that
• 58:15
  said,
• 58:15
  like
• 58:16
  you
• 58:16
  have
• 58:16
  a
• 58:16
  small
• 58:16
  business,
• 58:17
  it
• 58:17
  would
• 58:17
  never,
• 58:17
  it's
• 58:18
  not
• 58:18
  feasible.
• 58:19
  I
• 58:19
  wish
• 58:19
  I
• 58:20
  could,
• 58:20
  but
• 58:20
  I
• 58:20
  couldn't.
• 58:21
  So
• 58:21
  the
• 58:21
  government
• 58:21
  should
• 58:22
  pay
• 58:22
  it?
• 58:22
  What?
• 58:22
  The
• 58:23
  government
• 58:23
  should
• 58:23
  pay
• 58:23
  it
• 58:24
  or
• 58:24
  a
• 58:24
  small
• 58:25
  business
• 58:25
  that
• 58:25
  can't
• 58:25
  afford
• 58:26
  it?
• 58:26
  No,
• 58:26
  no,
• 58:26
  the
• 58:27
  small
• 58:27
  business,
• 58:27
  it,
• 58:27
  the
• 58:28
  business
• 58:28
  should
• 58:28
  not
• 58:29
  be
• 58:29
  responsible
• 58:29
  if
• 58:30
  they,
• 58:30
  they
• 58:30
  meet
• 58:30
  a
• 58:30
  certain
• 58:30
  threshold.
• 58:31
  If
• 58:31
  they
• 58:31
  are
• 58:32
  below
• 58:32
  a
• 58:32
  certain
• 58:32
  threshold
• 58:33
  of
• 58:34
  money,
• 58:34
  they
• 58:34
  should
• 58:34
  not.
• 58:35
  But
• 58:35
  that
• 58:35
  said,
• 58:35
  if
• 58:36
  you
• 58:36
  are
• 58:36
  a
• 58:36
  huge
• 58:36
  business
• 58:37
  that's
• 58:38
  pulling
• 58:38
  in
• 58:38
  billions
• 58:38
  and
• 58:39
  billions
• 58:39
  and
• 58:39
  billions
• 58:39
  of
• 58:40
  dollars,
• 58:40
  maybe
• 58:40
  you
• 58:40
  could
• 58:41
  and
• 58:41
  you.
• 58:41
  Because
• 58:42
  again,
• 58:42
  like
• 58:42
  women
• 58:43
  bring
• 58:43
  something
• 58:43
  different
• 58:44
  to
• 58:44
  the
• 58:44
  table
• 58:45
  in
• 58:45
  a
• 58:45
  corporate
• 58:45
  environment.
• 58:46
  We
• 58:46
  are
• 58:46
  gentler,
• 58:47
  we
• 58:47
  are
• 58:48
  more
• 58:48
  nurturing.
• 58:48
  There
• 58:49
  are
• 58:49
  qualities
• 58:50
  that
• 58:50
  we
• 58:50
  bring.
• 58:51
  I
• 58:51
  mean,
• 58:51
  again,
• 58:51
  I'm
• 58:52
  making
• 58:52
  like
• 58:52
  blanket
• 58:53
  statements
• 58:53
  but
• 58:53
  like,
• 58:54
  you
• 58:54
  know,
• 58:54
  we
• 58:55
  bring
• 58:55
  something
• 58:55
  different
• 58:56
  and
• 58:56
  they're,
• 58:57
  you
• 58:57
  know,
• 58:58
  it's
• 58:58
  useful.
• 58:59
  So
• 58:59
  if
• 59:00
  employers
• 59:00
  want
• 59:00
  to
• 59:01
  retain
• 59:01
  that
• 59:01
  kind
• 59:02
  of
• 59:02
  talent.
• 59:02
  Right.
• 59:03
  Something
• 59:04
  has
• 59:04
  to
• 59:04
  be
• 59:05
  done.
• 59:05
  There
• 59:06
  needs
• 59:06
  to
• 59:06
  be
• 59:06
  ways.
• 59:07
  Yeah.
• 59:07
  We
• 59:07
  need
• 59:07
  to
• 59:08
  make
• 59:08
  it
• 59:09
  easier.
• 59:10
  I
• 59:10
  mean,
• 59:11
  but
• 59:11
  I
• 59:12
  like
• 59:12
  one
• 59:12
  of
• 59:12
  her,
• 59:13
  one
• 59:13
  of
• 59:13
  the
• 59:13
  quotes
• 59:13
  she
• 59:13
  wrote
• 59:14
  is
• 59:14
  or
• 59:15
  she
• 59:15
  said
• 59:15
  in
• 59:15
  the
• 59:15
  book
• 59:15
  is
• 59:16
  the
• 59:16
  best
• 59:16
  job
• 59:16
  for
• 59:17
  a
• 59:17
  working
• 59:17
  mother
• 59:17
  is
• 59:18
  one
• 59:18
  that
• 59:18
  offers
• 59:18
  control
• 59:19
  over
• 59:19
  how
• 59:20
  many
• 59:20
  hours
• 59:20
  she
• 59:20
  works
• 59:21
  and
• 59:21
  the
• 59:22
  flexibility
• 59:22
  to
• 59:23
  determine
• 59:23
  what
• 59:23
  those
• 59:24
  hours
• 59:24
  are.
• 59:25
  And
• 59:25
  there
• 59:25
  are
• 59:25
  not
• 59:25
  many
• 59:26
  jobs
• 59:26
  that
• 59:26
  have
• 59:27
  that.
• 59:27
  That's
• 59:28
  very
• 59:28
  unusual.
• 59:29
  A
• 59:29
  lot
• 59:29
  of
• 59:29
  women
• 59:29
  do
• 59:29
  shift
• 59:30
  work,
• 59:30
  shift
• 59:30
  work
• 59:31
  and
• 59:31
  the
• 59:31
  shifts
• 59:31
  are
• 59:31
  when
• 59:31
  they
• 59:32
  are
• 59:32
  right.
• 59:32
  It's
• 59:33
  like
• 59:33
  Or.
• 59:33
  Yeah,
• 59:34
  or
• 59:34
  you
• 59:34
  have
• 59:34
  to
• 59:34
  be
• 59:34
  there
• 59:34
  when
• 59:35
  the
• 59:35
  business
• 59:35
  is
• 59:35
  open.
• 59:36
  So,
• 59:36
  you
• 59:37
  know,
• 59:37
  I.
• 59:37
  I
• 59:37
  just
• 59:37
  don't
• 59:38
  see
• 59:38
  where
• 59:38
  that's,
• 59:40
  you
• 59:40
  know,
• 59:40
  it.
• 59:41
  It's
• 59:41
  hard.
• 59:41
  I
• 59:42
  mean,
• 59:42
  I.
• 59:42
  You
• 59:42
  know,
• 59:42
  it
• 59:43
  is
• 59:43
  hard.
• 59:43
  And.
• 59:43
  And
• 59:44
  it's
• 59:44
  tough
• 59:44
  to
• 59:44
  do
• 59:44
  this
• 59:45
  in
• 59:45
  a
• 59:45
  world
• 59:45
  where
• 59:46
  she's
• 59:46
  right.
• 59:46
  Where
• 59:47
  women
• 59:47
  were,
• 59:47
  you
• 59:48
  know,
• 59:48
  this
• 59:49
  kind
• 59:49
  of
• 59:49
  work
• 59:50
  is
• 59:50
  not
• 59:51
  really
• 59:51
  supported
• 59:53
  or
• 59:53
  valued.
• 59:53
  Or
• 59:53
  valued.
• 59:54
  You
• 59:54
  know,
• 59:54
  it's
• 59:55
  like
• 59:55
  there
• 59:55
  are
• 59:55
  so
• 59:55
  many
• 59:56
  people
• 59:56
  who
• 59:56
  think
• 59:56
  women
• 59:57
  who
• 59:57
  choose
• 59:57
  to
• 59:57
  stay
• 59:58
  home,
• 59:59
  who
• 59:59
  they're
• 59:59
  treated
• 1:00:00
  like
• 1:00:00
  they're
• 1:00:00
  not
• 1:00:00
  doing
• 1:00:01
  anything.
• 1:00:01
  And
• 1:00:01
  they
• 1:00:01
  are.
• 1:00:02
  They're
• 1:00:02
  working
• 1:00:02
  so
• 1:00:02
  hard.
• 1:00:03
  They're
• 1:00:03
  working
• 1:00:03
  so
• 1:00:04
  hard.
• 1:00:04
  The
• 1:00:05
  hardest
• 1:00:05
  work
• 1:00:05
  I
• 1:00:05
  do.
• 1:00:06
  I
• 1:00:06
  love
• 1:00:06
  my
• 1:00:06
  daughter.
• 1:00:07
  I
• 1:00:07
  love
• 1:00:07
  her.
• 1:00:07
  She
• 1:00:08
  is
• 1:00:08
  the
• 1:00:08
  absolute
• 1:00:08
  light
• 1:00:09
  of
• 1:00:09
  my
• 1:00:09
  life.
• 1:00:09
  But
• 1:00:10
  it
• 1:00:10
  is.
• 1:00:11
  It
• 1:00:11
  is
• 1:00:12
  a
• 1:00:12
  lot.
• 1:00:12
  Right.
• 1:00:13
  You
• 1:00:13
  know,
• 1:00:13
  taking
• 1:00:13
  care
• 1:00:14
  of
• 1:00:14
  a
• 1:00:14
  child
• 1:00:14
  all
• 1:00:14
  day
• 1:00:14
  is
• 1:00:15
  a
• 1:00:15
  lot.
• 1:00:15
  You
• 1:00:15
  know,
• 1:00:16
  they
• 1:00:16
  need
• 1:00:17
  a
• 1:00:17
  lot
• 1:00:17
  from
• 1:00:17
  you.
• 1:00:18
  Right.
• 1:00:18
  You
• 1:00:18
  know,
• 1:00:19
  and
• 1:00:19
  it's
• 1:00:19
  wonderful
• 1:00:19
  and
• 1:00:20
  it's
• 1:00:20
  worth
• 1:00:20
  it.
• 1:00:20
  But
• 1:00:21
  like,
• 1:00:21
  again,
• 1:00:22
  women
• 1:00:22
  who
• 1:00:23
  stay
• 1:00:23
  home
• 1:00:23
  and
• 1:00:23
  that's
• 1:00:24
  their
• 1:00:24
  focus.
• 1:00:25
  Yeah.
• 1:00:25
  That's
• 1:00:26
  incredible.
• 1:00:26
  Yes,
• 1:00:27
  that
• 1:00:27
  is
• 1:00:27
  incredible.
• 1:00:28
  They're
• 1:00:28
  doing
• 1:00:28
  incredibly
• 1:00:29
  important
• 1:00:29
  things.
• 1:00:29
  They're
• 1:00:29
  producing
• 1:00:30
  people.
• 1:00:31
  That's.
• 1:00:31
  That's
• 1:00:32
  right.
• 1:00:32
  Which
• 1:00:32
  is
• 1:00:32
  like.
• 1:00:33
  Oh,
• 1:00:33
  that's
• 1:00:33
  right.
• 1:00:33
  Isn't
• 1:00:34
  that
• 1:00:34
  the
• 1:00:34
  point?
• 1:00:35
  That's.
• 1:00:35
  That
• 1:00:35
  is
• 1:00:36
  true.
• 1:00:36
  Now
• 1:00:37
  she
• 1:00:38
  ends
• 1:00:38
  the
• 1:00:38
  book.
• 1:00:38
  She
• 1:00:39
  says,
• 1:00:39
  my
• 1:00:40
  wish
• 1:00:40
  is
• 1:00:40
  that
• 1:00:40
  you
• 1:00:41
  understand
• 1:00:41
  there
• 1:00:41
  is
• 1:00:41
  no
• 1:00:42
  greater
• 1:00:42
  gift
• 1:00:42
  you
• 1:00:42
  can
• 1:00:43
  give
• 1:00:43
  your
• 1:00:43
  child
• 1:00:44
  than
• 1:00:44
  being
• 1:00:44
  as
• 1:00:45
  present
• 1:00:45
  emotionally
• 1:00:46
  and
• 1:00:46
  physically
• 1:00:46
  in
• 1:00:46
  the
• 1:00:47
  first
• 1:00:47
  three
• 1:00:47
  years
• 1:00:47
  as
• 1:00:47
  possible.
• 1:00:49
  That
• 1:00:49
  investment
• 1:00:49
  will
• 1:00:50
  produce
• 1:00:50
  a
• 1:00:50
  higher
• 1:00:50
  yield
• 1:00:51
  than
• 1:00:51
  any
• 1:00:51
  other
• 1:00:52
  investment
• 1:00:52
  you
• 1:00:52
  will
• 1:00:53
  make
• 1:00:53
  now.
• 1:00:53
  And
• 1:00:54
  as
• 1:00:54
  your
• 1:00:54
  children
• 1:00:54
  grow
• 1:00:54
  up,
• 1:00:55
  the
• 1:00:55
  rewards
• 1:00:55
  may
• 1:00:56
  not
• 1:00:56
  increase
• 1:00:56
  your
• 1:00:57
  bank
• 1:00:57
  account.
• 1:00:57
  But
• 1:00:57
  I
• 1:00:58
  assure
• 1:00:58
  you,
• 1:00:58
  they.
• 1:00:59
  You
• 1:00:59
  will
• 1:00:59
  not
• 1:00:59
  regret
• 1:01:00
  the
• 1:01:00
  decision
• 1:01:00
  you
• 1:01:01
  make
• 1:01:01
  when
• 1:01:01
  you
• 1:01:02
  see
• 1:01:02
  your
• 1:01:02
  children
• 1:01:02
  happy,
• 1:01:03
  healthy,
• 1:01:03
  thriving,
• 1:01:04
  and
• 1:01:04
  loving.
• 1:01:05
  And
• 1:01:05
  then
• 1:01:06
  she
• 1:01:06
  does
• 1:01:06
  give
• 1:01:06
  a
• 1:01:07
  few
• 1:01:07
  tips,
• 1:01:08
  very
• 1:01:08
  few
• 1:01:09
  in
• 1:01:09
  this,
• 1:01:09
  I.
• 1:01:10
  Very
• 1:01:10
  few
• 1:01:11
  tips
• 1:01:11
  about
• 1:01:12
  if
• 1:01:12
  you
• 1:01:12
  do
• 1:01:12
  stay
• 1:01:13
  home
• 1:01:13
  or,
• 1:01:13
  I'm
• 1:01:14
  sorry,
• 1:01:14
  if
• 1:01:14
  you
• 1:01:14
  do
• 1:01:14
  do
• 1:01:14
  work,
• 1:01:15
  what
• 1:01:16
  you
• 1:01:16
  can
• 1:01:16
  do
• 1:01:16
  to
• 1:01:17
  make
• 1:01:17
  it
• 1:01:17
  better
• 1:01:18
  for
• 1:01:18
  your
• 1:01:18
  child.
• 1:01:18
  But
• 1:01:19
  she
• 1:01:19
  says,
• 1:01:19
  first
• 1:01:19
  of
• 1:01:20
  all,
• 1:01:20
  your
• 1:01:20
  schedule,
• 1:01:21
  like,
• 1:01:22
  if
• 1:01:22
  you
• 1:01:22
  have
• 1:01:22
  the
• 1:01:22
  option
• 1:01:23
  of,
• 1:01:23
  let's
• 1:01:23
  say,
• 1:01:24
  working
• 1:01:24
  three
• 1:01:24
  days,
• 1:01:25
  12
• 1:01:25
  hours
• 1:01:25
  a
• 1:01:25
  day,
• 1:01:26
  or
• 1:01:27
  maybe
• 1:01:28
  five
• 1:01:28
  days,
• 1:01:29
  you
• 1:01:29
  know,
• 1:01:30
  five
• 1:01:30
  hours
• 1:01:31
  a
• 1:01:31
  day.
• 1:01:31
  It's
• 1:01:32
  five
• 1:01:32
  days.
• 1:01:32
  Five
• 1:01:32
  hours
• 1:01:33
  a
• 1:01:33
  day
• 1:01:33
  is
• 1:01:33
  better
• 1:01:33
  than
• 1:01:34
  three
• 1:01:34
  days
• 1:01:34
  where
• 1:01:34
  you're
• 1:01:35
  away
• 1:01:35
  for
• 1:01:35
  really
• 1:01:36
  long
• 1:01:36
  periods
• 1:01:36
  of
• 1:01:36
  time.
• 1:01:37
  So
• 1:01:37
  she
• 1:01:37
  said,
• 1:01:37
  do
• 1:01:38
  it
• 1:01:38
  the
• 1:01:38
  second
• 1:01:38
  way.
• 1:01:39
  She
• 1:01:39
  said,
• 1:01:40
  this
• 1:01:40
  is
• 1:01:40
  interesting.
• 1:01:41
  I
• 1:01:41
  didn't
• 1:01:41
  know
• 1:01:41
  this.
• 1:01:42
  Babies
• 1:01:42
  feel
• 1:01:42
  more
• 1:01:43
  secure
• 1:01:43
  when
• 1:01:43
  cradled
• 1:01:44
  on
• 1:01:44
  the
• 1:01:44
  left
• 1:01:44
  side
• 1:01:45
  versus
• 1:01:45
  the
• 1:01:45
  right
• 1:01:46
  side
• 1:01:46
  because
• 1:01:47
  they
• 1:01:47
  can
• 1:01:47
  feel
• 1:01:47
  your
• 1:01:48
  heartbeat.
• 1:01:49
  So
• 1:01:49
  when
• 1:01:49
  you're
• 1:01:49
  holding
• 1:01:49
  your
• 1:01:50
  baby,
• 1:01:51
  she
• 1:01:51
  goes
• 1:01:51
  into
• 1:01:51
  a
• 1:01:52
  whole
• 1:01:52
  thing
• 1:01:52
  about.
• 1:01:52
  Like
• 1:01:52
  when
• 1:01:53
  you're
• 1:01:53
  nursing,
• 1:01:54
  start
• 1:01:54
  on
• 1:01:54
  the
• 1:01:54
  left,
• 1:01:55
  right.
• 1:01:55
  And
• 1:01:55
  then
• 1:01:55
  end
• 1:01:56
  on
• 1:01:56
  the
• 1:01:56
  left
• 1:01:56
  because
• 1:01:57
  Baby's
• 1:01:57
  feeling
• 1:01:58
  your
• 1:01:58
  heartbeat
• 1:01:58
  anyway.
• 1:01:59
  I
• 1:01:59
  didn't
• 1:01:59
  know
• 1:01:59
  that,
• 1:01:59
  but
• 1:02:00
  my
• 1:02:00
  left
• 1:02:01
  boob
• 1:02:01
  doesn't
• 1:02:02
  produce
• 1:02:02
  nearly
• 1:02:03
  as
• 1:02:03
  much
• 1:02:03
  milk.
• 1:02:04
  Oh,
• 1:02:05
  it
• 1:02:05
  is
• 1:02:05
  the
• 1:02:05
  weirdest
• 1:02:06
  thing.
• 1:02:08
  Like,
• 1:02:08
  my
• 1:02:08
  right
• 1:02:09
  boob
• 1:02:09
  is
• 1:02:09
  gigantic.
• 1:02:10
  My
• 1:02:10
  left
• 1:02:11
  boob.
• 1:02:11
  It's
• 1:02:11
  as
• 1:02:12
  if
• 1:02:12
  I'm
• 1:02:12
  not
• 1:02:12
  even
• 1:02:12
  nursing.
• 1:02:13
  Oh,
• 1:02:13
  my
• 1:02:13
  God.
• 1:02:14
  You're
• 1:02:14
  only
• 1:02:14
  nursing
• 1:02:15
  from
• 1:02:15
  one
• 1:02:15
  side.
• 1:02:15
  Well,
• 1:02:16
  but
• 1:02:16
  still,
• 1:02:16
  you
• 1:02:17
  should
• 1:02:17
  hold
• 1:02:17
  the
• 1:02:17
  baby
• 1:02:18
  on
• 1:02:18
  the
• 1:02:18
  other
• 1:02:18
  side.
• 1:02:18
  How?
• 1:02:19
  I
• 1:02:20
  don't
• 1:02:20
  know
• 1:02:20
  if
• 1:02:20
  milk
• 1:02:20
  is
• 1:02:21
  only
• 1:02:21
  coming
• 1:02:21
  from
• 1:02:21
  one
• 1:02:22
  place,
• 1:02:22
  I
• 1:02:22
  don't
• 1:02:22
  know.
• 1:02:23
  Maybe
• 1:02:23
  you
• 1:02:23
  can't,
• 1:02:23
  but
• 1:02:24
  maybe
• 1:02:24
  just
• 1:02:24
  hold
• 1:02:24
  her
• 1:02:25
  afterwards.
• 1:02:25
  Okay.
• 1:02:26
  So
• 1:02:26
  she
• 1:02:27
  could
• 1:02:27
  hear
• 1:02:28
  something
• 1:02:28
  new.
• 1:02:28
  The
• 1:02:29
  heartbeat.
• 1:02:29
  That
• 1:02:29
  was
• 1:02:29
  something
• 1:02:30
  new.
• 1:02:31
  Page
• 1:02:32
  91.
• 1:02:32
  She
• 1:02:33
  gives
• 1:02:33
  all
• 1:02:33
  these
• 1:02:33
  tips
• 1:02:34
  on
• 1:02:34
  easing
• 1:02:34
  transition.
• 1:02:35
  Like,
• 1:02:36
  always
• 1:02:36
  say
• 1:02:36
  goodbye.
• 1:02:37
  Leave
• 1:02:38
  extra
• 1:02:38
  time
• 1:02:39
  when
• 1:02:39
  you're,
• 1:02:39
  you
• 1:02:40
  know,
• 1:02:40
  saying
• 1:02:41
  goodbye.
• 1:02:42
  Tell
• 1:02:42
  them
• 1:02:42
  when
• 1:02:42
  you'll
• 1:02:43
  return.
• 1:02:43
  Create
• 1:02:44
  a
• 1:02:44
  routine
• 1:02:44
  for
• 1:02:45
  being
• 1:02:45
  reunited.
• 1:02:46
  Give
• 1:02:47
  them
• 1:02:47
  transitional
• 1:02:48
  objects.
• 1:02:48
  These
• 1:02:48
  are
• 1:02:48
  things
• 1:02:49
  you
• 1:02:49
  can
• 1:02:49
  do
• 1:02:49
  to
• 1:02:49
  make
• 1:02:49
  the
• 1:02:50
  time
• 1:02:50
  apart
• 1:02:51
  go,
• 1:02:51
  you
• 1:02:51
  know,
• 1:02:52
  go
• 1:02:52
  better.
• 1:02:52
  Yeah.
• 1:02:52
  Like
• 1:02:52
  a
• 1:02:52
  stuffed
• 1:02:53
  animal
• 1:02:53
  or
• 1:02:53
  something.
• 1:02:54
  And
• 1:02:54
  then
• 1:02:54
  leave
• 1:02:55
  at
• 1:02:55
  least
• 1:02:55
  two
• 1:02:55
  hours
• 1:02:56
  between
• 1:02:57
  when
• 1:02:57
  you
• 1:02:57
  come
• 1:02:57
  home
• 1:02:58
  and
• 1:02:58
  bedtime.
• 1:02:58
  And
• 1:02:59
  if
• 1:02:59
  you
• 1:02:59
  have
• 1:02:59
  more
• 1:03:00
  than
• 1:03:00
  one
• 1:03:00
  child,
• 1:03:00
  stagger
• 1:03:01
  their
• 1:03:01
  bedtime
• 1:03:01
  so
• 1:03:02
  each
• 1:03:02
  can
• 1:03:02
  get
• 1:03:03
  attention.
• 1:03:04
  That
• 1:03:04
  makes
• 1:03:04
  sense.
• 1:03:05
  Tell
• 1:03:05
  your
• 1:03:05
  child
• 1:03:06
  they
• 1:03:06
  are
• 1:03:06
  your
• 1:03:06
  priority,
• 1:03:07
  not
• 1:03:07
  work.
• 1:03:09
  Let
• 1:03:09
  them
• 1:03:09
  know
• 1:03:10
  they're
• 1:03:10
  more
• 1:03:10
  important
• 1:03:10
  than
• 1:03:11
  work.
• 1:03:11
  Don't
• 1:03:12
  come
• 1:03:12
  home
• 1:03:12
  for
• 1:03:12
  short
• 1:03:12
  visits
• 1:03:13
  during
• 1:03:13
  the
• 1:03:13
  day.
• 1:03:15
  Just
• 1:03:15
  when
• 1:03:15
  you
• 1:03:16
  come
• 1:03:16
  home,
• 1:03:16
  you
• 1:03:16
  stay.
• 1:03:17
  She
• 1:03:17
  says
• 1:03:18
  outsource
• 1:03:18
  your
• 1:03:18
  housework
• 1:03:19
  and
• 1:03:19
  food
• 1:03:19
  prep
• 1:03:20
  if
• 1:03:20
  you
• 1:03:20
  can,
• 1:03:20
  so
• 1:03:20
  you
• 1:03:21
  can
• 1:03:21
  focus
• 1:03:21
  on
• 1:03:21
  your
• 1:03:21
  child
• 1:03:22
  again.
• 1:03:22
  Who
• 1:03:23
  can
• 1:03:23
  do
• 1:03:23
  this?
• 1:03:23
  But.
• 1:03:24
  Okay,
• 1:03:25
  sure.
• 1:03:25
  I'm
• 1:03:25
  sure
• 1:03:25
  there's
• 1:03:26
  like
• 1:03:26
  2%
• 1:03:26
  of
• 1:03:27
  people
• 1:03:27
  who
• 1:03:27
  can
• 1:03:27
  do
• 1:03:27
  this,
• 1:03:27
  and
• 1:03:28
  that's
• 1:03:28
  great
• 1:03:28
  for
• 1:03:28
  them.
• 1:03:29
  Yeah.
• 1:03:29
  If
• 1:03:29
  you
• 1:03:29
  can
• 1:03:30
  do
• 1:03:30
  this,
• 1:03:30
  if
• 1:03:30
  you're
• 1:03:30
  in
• 1:03:30
  the
• 1:03:31
  time
• 1:03:31
  top
• 1:03:31
  2%
• 1:03:32
  or
• 1:03:32
  1%,
• 1:03:32
  you
• 1:03:33
  can
• 1:03:33
  do
• 1:03:33
  that.
• 1:03:33
  Okay.
• 1:03:34
  But.
• 1:03:35
  And
• 1:03:35
  then
• 1:03:35
  there's
• 1:03:36
  a
• 1:03:36
  whole
• 1:03:36
  section
• 1:03:36
  on
• 1:03:36
  what
• 1:03:37
  to
• 1:03:37
  look
• 1:03:37
  for
• 1:03:37
  when
• 1:03:37
  hiring
• 1:03:38
  a
• 1:03:38
  nanny,
• 1:03:39
  babysitter.
• 1:03:40
  So
• 1:03:40
  that's.
• 1:03:40
  That's
• 1:03:40
  good
• 1:03:40
  advice.
• 1:03:41
  That's
• 1:03:41
  helpful.
• 1:03:41
  It
• 1:03:42
  is.
• 1:03:42
  So
• 1:03:42
  I
• 1:03:42
  think
• 1:03:42
  a
• 1:03:42
  lot
• 1:03:42
  of
• 1:03:43
  people
• 1:03:43
  go
• 1:03:43
  into
• 1:03:43
  that
• 1:03:43
  pretty
• 1:03:44
  blind.
• 1:03:44
  Yeah.
• 1:03:45
  It
• 1:03:45
  just
• 1:03:45
  tells
• 1:03:45
  you
• 1:03:45
  what
• 1:03:45
  to
• 1:03:46
  ask,
• 1:03:46
  what
• 1:03:46
  to
• 1:03:46
  look
• 1:03:46
  for,
• 1:03:47
  that
• 1:03:47
  kind
• 1:03:47
  of
• 1:03:47
  thing.
• 1:03:48
  Yeah.
• 1:03:48
  So
• 1:03:48
  those.
• 1:03:48
  Those
• 1:03:49
  are
• 1:03:49
  helpful.
• 1:03:50
  Those
• 1:03:50
  are
• 1:03:50
  helpful
• 1:03:50
  kinds
• 1:03:51
  of
• 1:03:51
  things.
• 1:03:51
  Yeah.
• 1:03:53
  Yeah.
• 1:03:54
  So
• 1:03:54
  I
• 1:03:54
  think
• 1:03:54
  that
• 1:03:54
  that
• 1:03:55
  kind
• 1:03:55
  of
• 1:03:56
  covers
• 1:03:57
  the
• 1:03:57
  big
• 1:03:58
  ideas
• 1:03:58
  in
• 1:03:58
  this
• 1:03:58
  book.
• 1:03:59
  Yeah.
• 1:03:59
  Do
• 1:04:00
  you
• 1:04:00
  hate
• 1:04:00
  it
• 1:04:00
  as
• 1:04:00
  much
• 1:04:00
  as
• 1:04:00
  you
• 1:04:00
  thought
• 1:04:01
  you
• 1:04:01
  did?
• 1:04:03
  Kind
• 1:04:04
  of.
• 1:04:04
  Okay.
• 1:04:05
  Yeah.
• 1:04:06
  What
• 1:04:06
  I
• 1:04:06
  would
• 1:04:06
  say
• 1:04:07
  is,
• 1:04:07
  if
• 1:04:08
  someone
• 1:04:08
  asked
• 1:04:08
  me,
• 1:04:08
  do
• 1:04:08
  you
• 1:04:08
  recommend
• 1:04:09
  it?
• 1:04:11
  There
• 1:04:11
  were
• 1:04:11
  some
• 1:04:12
  things,
• 1:04:12
  like
• 1:04:12
  I
• 1:04:12
  said,
• 1:04:12
  you
• 1:04:13
  can
• 1:04:13
  get
• 1:04:13
  out
• 1:04:13
  of
• 1:04:13
  it,
• 1:04:14
  about
• 1:04:14
  making
• 1:04:15
  the
• 1:04:15
  most
• 1:04:16
  of
• 1:04:17
  the
• 1:04:17
  time
• 1:04:17
  you
• 1:04:17
  are
• 1:04:18
  home
• 1:04:18
  with
• 1:04:18
  your
• 1:04:18
  child,
• 1:04:18
  but
• 1:04:19
  I
• 1:04:19
  just
• 1:04:19
  thought
• 1:04:19
  it
• 1:04:19
  was
• 1:04:20
  too.
• 1:04:21
  What's
• 1:04:21
  the
• 1:04:21
  word?
• 1:04:22
  It
• 1:04:22
  was
• 1:04:22
  just
• 1:04:22
  too
• 1:04:22
  heavy
• 1:04:23
  handed.
• 1:04:23
  Yeah,
• 1:04:24
  it
• 1:04:24
  was
• 1:04:24
  too
• 1:04:24
  heavy
• 1:04:24
  handed.
• 1:04:25
  Thank
• 1:04:25
  you.
• 1:04:25
  Yeah.
• 1:04:26
  That's
• 1:04:26
  the
• 1:04:26
  word.
• 1:04:27
  I
• 1:04:27
  needed
• 1:04:27
  that.
• 1:04:28
  On
• 1:04:28
  a
• 1:04:28
  scale
• 1:04:28
  of
• 1:04:28
  scientist
• 1:04:29
  to
• 1:04:29
  parent,
• 1:04:29
  how
• 1:04:29
  readable
• 1:04:30
  was
• 1:04:30
  it?
• 1:04:31
  Well,
• 1:04:32
  it
• 1:04:33
  was
• 1:04:34
  easily
• 1:04:34
  readable,
• 1:04:35
  but
• 1:04:35
  it
• 1:04:35
  got
• 1:04:35
  me
• 1:04:35
  mad
• 1:04:36
  so
• 1:04:36
  many
• 1:04:37
  times.
• 1:04:37
  I
• 1:04:37
  just.
• 1:04:38
  I
• 1:04:38
  was
• 1:04:38
  like.
• 1:04:39
  I
• 1:04:39
  was
• 1:04:39
  screaming
• 1:04:39
  at
• 1:04:40
  this
• 1:04:40
  book
• 1:04:40
  as
• 1:04:40
  I
• 1:04:40
  was
• 1:04:40
  reading
• 1:04:41
  it.
• 1:04:41
  It
• 1:04:41
  was
• 1:04:41
  pretty
• 1:04:41
  readable.
• 1:04:43
  It
• 1:04:43
  was
• 1:04:43
  like.
• 1:04:43
  I
• 1:04:44
  kind
• 1:04:44
  of
• 1:04:44
  breezed
• 1:04:44
  through
• 1:04:45
  it.
• 1:04:45
  It's
• 1:04:45
  like
• 1:04:45
  a.
• 1:04:45
  Yeah.
• 1:04:46
  Nice.
• 1:04:47
  Yeah.
• 1:04:47
  No,
• 1:04:48
  no
• 1:04:48
  big
• 1:04:48
  charts.
• 1:04:49
  No.
• 1:04:49
  You
• 1:04:50
  know,
• 1:04:50
  it
• 1:04:50
  does
• 1:04:50
  site
• 1:04:51
  studies
• 1:04:51
  to
• 1:04:51
  interpret.
• 1:04:52
  Yeah.
• 1:04:53
  No,
• 1:04:53
  it's
• 1:04:53
  pretty
• 1:04:53
  clear
• 1:04:54
  what
• 1:04:54
  she.
• 1:04:54
  Her
• 1:04:55
  points
• 1:04:55
  are
• 1:04:55
  clear.
• 1:04:56
  She
• 1:04:56
  makes
• 1:04:57
  her
• 1:04:57
  points.
• 1:04:57
  It's
• 1:04:57
  just.
• 1:04:58
  I
• 1:04:58
  guess
• 1:04:58
  it
• 1:04:58
  wasn't
• 1:04:58
  the
• 1:04:58
  message
• 1:04:59
  I
• 1:04:59
  wanted
• 1:04:59
  to
• 1:04:59
  hear
• 1:05:00
  or
• 1:05:00
  believed
• 1:05:01
  was
• 1:05:01
  true.
• 1:05:02
  And
• 1:05:03
  so
• 1:05:04
  take
• 1:05:04
  that
• 1:05:05
  with
• 1:05:05
  a
• 1:05:05
  grain
• 1:05:05
  of
• 1:05:05
  salt,
• 1:05:06
  you
• 1:05:06
  know?
• 1:05:07
  And
• 1:05:07
  it
• 1:05:07
  just
• 1:05:07
  goes
• 1:05:08
  to
• 1:05:08
  show
• 1:05:08
  you,
• 1:05:08
  you
• 1:05:09
  can't
• 1:05:09
  believe
• 1:05:10
  everything
• 1:05:10
  you
• 1:05:10
  read.
• 1:05:10
  And
• 1:05:11
  if
• 1:05:11
  you
• 1:05:11
  do
• 1:05:12
  believe
• 1:05:12
  that
• 1:05:13
  this
• 1:05:13
  is
• 1:05:13
  the
• 1:05:13
  right
• 1:05:13
  thing
• 1:05:14
  to
• 1:05:14
  do,
• 1:05:14
  then
• 1:05:15
  stay
• 1:05:16
  home,
• 1:05:16
  do
• 1:05:16
  it.
• 1:05:17
  Do
• 1:05:17
  it.
• 1:05:17
  And
• 1:05:17
  it's.
• 1:05:18
  It's.
• 1:05:18
  You
• 1:05:18
  know,
• 1:05:18
  and
• 1:05:19
  Godspeed.
• 1:05:19
  It's
• 1:05:20
  not
• 1:05:20
  gonna
• 1:05:20
  hurt
• 1:05:20
  your
• 1:05:21
  child.
• 1:05:21
  It's
• 1:05:21
  gonna
• 1:05:22
  be
• 1:05:22
  good
• 1:05:22
  for
• 1:05:22
  them.
• 1:05:22
  But
• 1:05:22
  unless
• 1:05:23
  you're
• 1:05:23
  really
• 1:05:23
  annoying.
• 1:05:24
  Well,
• 1:05:24
  don't
• 1:05:24
  be
• 1:05:25
  annoying
• 1:05:25
  and
• 1:05:25
  stay
• 1:05:26
  home.
• 1:05:26
  Right.
• 1:05:26
  Or
• 1:05:27
  depressed.
• 1:05:27
  If
• 1:05:28
  you're.
• 1:05:28
  Don't
• 1:05:28
  be
• 1:05:28
  depressed.
• 1:05:29
  Stay
• 1:05:29
  home
• 1:05:29
  and
• 1:05:30
  you're
• 1:05:30
  home.
• 1:05:30
  That.
• 1:05:30
  It
• 1:05:30
  doesn't.
• 1:05:31
  If
• 1:05:31
  you're
• 1:05:31
  depressed,
• 1:05:31
  go
• 1:05:31
  outside,
• 1:05:33
  get
• 1:05:33
  some
• 1:05:33
  air.
• 1:05:33
  Yeah.
• 1:05:34
  Yes.
• 1:05:34
  Take
• 1:05:34
  a
• 1:05:35
  walk.
• 1:05:35
  Well,
• 1:05:35
  anyway,
• 1:05:36
  thank
• 1:05:36
  you
• 1:05:37
  for
• 1:05:37
  joining
• 1:05:37
  us
• 1:05:37
  for
• 1:05:38
  this
• 1:05:38
  episode
• 1:05:38
  of
• 1:05:38
  Other
• 1:05:38
  People's
• 1:05:39
  Parenting,
• 1:05:39
  and
• 1:05:39
  we
• 1:05:39
  will
• 1:05:40
  see
• 1:05:40
  you
• 1:05:40
  again
• 1:05:41
  next
• 1:05:41
  week.