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The Farron Dozier Show - Duel Of The Dual “Altered Ego” · Military Broadcast Radio | MBR Talk

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  We got to bless the show before we get started.
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  Let's go. When it was in my mother's womb.
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  I have called me on my life to do something in the glory of God
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  and marry it like a wife and commit myself to His word and
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  never be LED astray. And when it's all over, when He
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  comes, I'll be glad to see that day in the morning time.
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  Do you remember studying sickle cell in biology class?
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  What's the count on? Sickle cell trait prevention is
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  here to bring you awareness, education and prevention
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  conversations around the risk factors of this inherited gene.
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  Visit WDCON sct.org. All right, welcome to another
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  episode of the Frondoze show right here on the military
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  broadcast Radio network. That's right.
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  It be radio dot US. Thank you for tuning listening
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  today. You know, I've been asked to be
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  a part of this grief conversation with my community.
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  And let me tell you yet another loss in our community.
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  And so I don't even know what to say.
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  Like I I met her last year, 2025 Genesis.
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  Let me bring up her page here. She experienced going through
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  the bone marrow transplant and everything and seemed to be
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  successful at it. So when a person with sickle
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  cell does a bone marrow transplant, they, they are still
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  the genotype is still going to be sickle cell.
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  They're trach carriers. They still carry that in here to
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  GS because that gene is inside the DNA, right.
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  So they may not have crisis because of the bone bone marrow
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  transplant or the stem cell transplant.
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  However, the DNA is still producing an S gene.
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  And so Long story short, she did the bone marrow transplant, seem
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  to be fine with it, came to a friend of mine organization to
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  become a part of the sickle cell trade community because she
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  wanted to learn about the sickle cell trade, Had a whole sickle
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  cell trade support group for people who were coming out of
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  the bone marrow transplant community and learning about the
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  new health experiences. But everybody's different,
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  everybody's different, everybody's different,
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  everybody's different. But I understand unfortunately
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  somethings happened with her health and there was just a post
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  just a couple days ago by her being in the hospital
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  seemed like seemed like everything was fine.
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  But unfortunately, she she, she has transitioned.
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  And yeah, so our community is dealing with another loss.
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  And just wanted to talk to the family.
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  Thank you for the opportunity to share her stories, share her
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  experiences. And like I said, it's very
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  difficult for us in the community.
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  We experience a loss of a friend in this work.
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  Yeah, This is this is this is just different.
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  It's different. It's a very difficult
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  conversation to have. I really appreciate being asked
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  to put these conversations all together.
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  So as we developed this episode for our sickle cell community
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  and in this brief lost conversation, if you are part of
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  the community sickle cell and you have something you want to
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  say or you want to share, share your experiences with our
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  community members who we've lost.
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  And it's why because I used to do a fallen soldier episode on
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  my WDC radio show. I used to do an actual episode
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  that came to falling sickle cell soldiers.
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  Williams Yeah. And in my space of grief with my
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  dad is, you know, all that stuff.
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  I was in a different mind space at that time and my own brief
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  journey. It's more relatable, especially
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  parents. Not much I can really say about
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  that right now. Just just happen again.
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  We thank the community for coming together, expressing the
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  love. Careful sisters.
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  You know, some people in our community don't want to do that
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  bone no transplant because they are going to be in that identity
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  outside of seven single cell, right.
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  So there are risk factors. They have to follow that person
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  sometimes up to 15 years to see how that transplant, that stem
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  cell transplant, if it's effective and how it's going to
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  play out in that person's body. So as more of the details come
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  out, we'll share our life experience, get some people to
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  come up and talk about that conversation.
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  So I'm a play Apsa come back and then Ariana's here and we're
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  just going to get right into it. If you've seen the social media
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  posts at front Dozier show we are continuing inside the
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  Beatitudes. But there's another conversation
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  that my teammate here brought up to the to the to the to the deck
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  to discuss. And I'm totally in agreement
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  with it. We need to peel these layers off
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  and, and there is a battle, the battle of the mind.
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  And, and we point to this conversation called the ego.
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  We hear it a lot. You hear the ego, you hear what
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  is it? What is that?
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  Is the ego wrong? Is it right?
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  Is it good? Is it bad?
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  We're going to peel off some of those layers on today's episode.
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  And, and, and, and look at this topic as a dual, dual of what's
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  going in the, in the heart of us as people, right.
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  And then we're going to see what the word has to say about that
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  conversation was, because that's what we're talking about.
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  It's about how do we take our lives, put it up against our
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  experiences and things that we know and we've learned inside
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  this world, and then filter that through what God has to say
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  about these conversations. And I'm just going to tell you
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  straight up, there's peace on the other side of that
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  conversation. You may not, you may not know
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  that or you may know that, but it's, it's have to experience
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  that peace, that peace in the midst of the storm, right?
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  Have you even looked at your ego, right.
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  So we're going, we're going to touch a little bit on on those
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  subjects there tonight. So let me play this PSA.
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  He's down there in the deck already ready to go.
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  We'll bring him up. But again, this is brought to
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  you by WDC on sct.org Tickle cell trade awareness.
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  I have sickle cell trade myself. If you're not familiar, the
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  people in this PSA, these are our real life personal stories
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  as they share their experience with sickle cell trade.
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  And even the last gentleman, it was like sickle cell.
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  I thought that was a black gene. Yeah.
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  Well, you know what the Hispanics is number 2 with
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  sickle cell. It is a inherited gene that is
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  not a skin color. It's a blood condition, right.
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  So it depends on where your family was born, your ancestors
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  near the equator where malaria is present.
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  You could also have that sickle cell trait gene, no matter
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  what's your skin color background because we're all
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  blended today. So PSA come back and get this
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  episode started. I appreciate you.
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  This is the front dosie show. Oh, make sure you catch me
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  Tuesdays on KCA Radio One O 6.5 FM and tip TM and then an
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  empire. And soon we'll be streaming live
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  here next week on TikTok live as well.
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  So MB radio is now setting us up to go live on TikTok during our
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  shows. So we'll be streaming on like I
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  think there's going to be 9 platforms live.
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  Appreciate that for that. If you want to participate and
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  donate to this organization, MB Radio, that QR code up there at
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  the top, you can scan that. They provide all these platforms
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  and services for us. We do contribute a portion of us
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  being here, but 99% of it is donated by this conversation
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  getting Veterans Sports. We appreciate you.
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  We have brothers and sisters, all different branches and those
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  family members as well. Yeah.
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  So law enforcement, first responders, their family
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  members, they're able to come here, find their voice, share
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  their stories, share experiences, space for their
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  platform. All right, again, shouts out to
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  Genesis. Yeah, it's just a definitely
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  tough loss. We pray for her that right to
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  find peace. Hey man, how you doing?
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  Hey, did you see the game last night?
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  I was your game. But did you see the shot?
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  I lost. Money from that.
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  Oh man, The shot was old man, but it was good, yeah.
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  What's the name? You really want to know.
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  I do. Exhaustion, muscle spasm,
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  Asthmatic issues, Unexpected sickle cell trait.
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  Ham are. You serious?
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  When I was young I found out I had sickle cell trait.
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  My mom's told me. But I didn't have no knowledge
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  of it. But when I got older I had a
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  child. The doctor told me my daughter
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  had sickle cell trait. Do you know the fact that both
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  parents have sickle cell trait? There's a 50% chance the child
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  may have the trait and 25% chance of child may have the
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  disease. And that's what's the count.
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  Do you know that 2.5 million people in the United States have
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  sickle cell trait? 300 million people globally.
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  I didn't find out I had sickle cell trait until I was in the
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  Army 10 years. Next thing you know I had a
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  sickle cell trait exertion site. April cell.
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  I thought that was a black gene. Or something.
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  Nah man, the black community is number 21 out of 36,000 babies
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  are being born with sickle cell disease.
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  You could be a Caucasian, Mediterranean, European.
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  You got rid of a bloodline, man. There is an inherited gene in
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  our community that has been forgotten.
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  The name is Sickle cell trait. WDCONSCT, also known as What's
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  the Count, is out to bring awareness, education and
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  prevention to people all over the globe.
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  Want more information? Call us now at 323-215-5384 or
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  visit www.wdconsct.org. Welcome back to the Front Dozing
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  show, the military broadcast for the network FB Radio.
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  I used to play a song, but I'm gonna hold off for the song.
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  I'll play the song later. Thank you for tuning.
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  How you doing, Sir? I'm doing great, doing great.
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  I'm doing great, man. It's just it's amazing, dude.
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  It's like every every two weeks, it's always something that shows
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  me that God is real. It's like it's crazy.
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  It's like, wow. So right now pretty much after
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  I've done got this album out in the sense of it's a continuous
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  album. So instead of just releasing the
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  album and then cutting it and then making another title,
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  making a whole other project, I figured, well, everything is
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  stream anyway and everything is always like, you know, Spotify,
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  all of them, they pretty much just put it up.
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  So some artists just have singles everywhere.
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  So it doesn't really, it's not about albums anymore like it
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  used to be. And since I'm thinking about it
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  like that, I'm like now I see how the the whole market is
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  changing. So I'm like, you know, for the
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  music, it's like it's not the same anymore.
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  It's not like when we was coming up, man, I still remember when
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  we used to hit stop and record and stop just to get songs that
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  we wanted on our on our radios. You know what I'm saying?
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  That that was our way of getting our own bootleg, bootleg songs
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  and stuff. Nice.
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  Yeah. Right.
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  Exactly. So now it's not even like that.
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  No more. Now we now everybody can just
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  say, I like to hear a song that I made.
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  Well, let me go ahead and play the AI.
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  And that's my performance studio now.
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  So it's like it shuts down music studios in a lot of cases,
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  possibly, you know what I'm saying?
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  Because a lot of people could be like, I don't want to do all
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  that work. I can just do it here.
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  But at the same time, it's still work.
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  Prompting is not a joke. That's that's I know coding and
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  programming. So prompting is the same.
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  It's not a joke. You got to you got to keep
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  tapping in and it don't sound right.
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  You got to scrap it and do it again.
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  And it's like it gets the creative mind is fall into a
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  whole nother area. You know you're not into just
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  one thing, like I got to write this and write this down or I
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  got to play this song and make this track up.
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  Now you're doing all of it because you want the ear and the
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  sound to be exactly the design that you have.
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  So now it just puts us all in the director seat or puts us all
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  in the executive seat of what it is that we want to project out
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  to the world. So it's black.
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  See, I'm not going to try to do that one.
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  That's crazy, that easy. It's a sound room all in one
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  thing, but you can play your own.
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  Tracks in the headphones and sync right into it, but the app
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  puts it like you right in the studio.
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  See what I mean? See what I mean?
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  That that sound like a plan Now. I don't know my voice.
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  I know that my voice, I'm getting older.
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  I'm almost 50, you know, so I'm 46 years old.
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  So my voice is acting a little funny right now.
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  It's like, yeah, we want to kind of keep the kid voice in you.
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  And then we want to kind of make you sound like a rooster too.
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  And it's like, dude, make up your mind.
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  Either you going to stay longevity or you just going to
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  get old on me. And I'm, I sound like an old
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  man. So it's like that's.
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  Part of the track. Though, right Yo son, you.
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  Got to get your own ad libs in there.
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  Yeah right come on oh right, what right, right.
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  It's just it's just like it's like I'm like, you know what AI
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  is going to take her, right? AI does do that.
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  Actually, it does the ad libs and everything.
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  But see, if you listen to the track and actually let me, let
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  me put them, let me promote it up there.
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  It's basically Samurai Pilot is my stage name now.
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  It's pretty much just crossover from my worldly self and some my
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  godly self. And it's definitely we're going
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  to get into that because it's also about the dual nature.
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  It is the dual nature. And the one thing is on with
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  that I designed this out. I've been writing these songs
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  for years like these. Some of these songs are like
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  four or five years old, and I haven't even gone back to the
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  ones that I wrote that were like almost 20 years old.
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  I'm about to put those in there next.
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  And the whole point is on. I'm not arguing the whole, well,
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  you're not authentic because you didn't do it yourself.
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  To be honest with you, there's no artists out here that really
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  did everything themselves. It's impossible.
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  You got to have a rapper, you're going to have to have a
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  producer. If you got a singer, you're
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  going to have to have a producer.
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  So to be honest with you, if I'm writing and the songwriter and
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  you know, some writers, all songwriters are really much
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  hidden. There's a lot of artists out
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  here, major artists that took other people's song ideas and if
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  they're number one hits on the chart, don't think they're not
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  getting paid for that. And exactly.
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  So we just got to kind of chalk it up to see now.
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  It's to the point now where songwriters don't need to hide
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  behind artists. They can just run straight
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  through AI and spit it out there for you so you can get the best
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  idea of what they were talking about.
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  And that's kind of like I still, I still got.
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  Some challenges with AI, man, I'm just, I still got some
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  challenges with that. I, I have, I have people in this
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  business world, man, that feel like AI is going to take away
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  their jobs and, and, and maybe particular job, maybe replace.
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  But at the end of the day, AI cannot replace the human
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  connection. It cannot replace.
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  That it can produce a no for. US documents and videos and you
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  say music, but that human connection, you cannot replace
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  that. I'm sorry.
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  You could you could ask questions about your mental
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  health on an all day long to try to get some answers, but that
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  human connection. Well, when it comes to music and
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  art, it's different because the even though AI is like a tool in
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  itself, it's still going off the artist mind.
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  If I don't tell it to do something, it's not going to do
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  it. And the little that I give it,
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  it's going to look like crap or it's not going to manifest fully
• 19:21
  to the precise vision that you have.
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  The more that you know about the craft that you have, it becomes
• 19:27
  you just with a better amplified perfection of what you're trying
• 19:33
  to put together. So therefore, it's less time.
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  That's all it is. But AI is still in our control.
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  It's just like me taking a pencil.
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  But yeah. Remember how we used to have the
• 19:41
  big pens, but then we remember we got to like grammar school or
• 19:44
  high school. We had the pens where we had to
• 19:46
  change the colors, but it was still a pen, Right?
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  That was my favorite. Yeah, right.
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  Yeah, exactly. It's your favorite pin.
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  But it's still even though it changes colors, it's still a
• 19:56
  pen. You're still using the pen so
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  you can make your spelling words in multi rainbow colours and
• 20:02
  piss off the teacher just because you wrote it 20 times
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  and, you know, and it was one of each colour and he's like, you
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  know what, I'm not going to take this.
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  I said you do it, you know, but whatever be the case, it doesn't
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  matter. It's just you using the pen.
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  So AI is just one of those. Yeah, AI the tool, I'm telling
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  you. Yeah, Zach, it's just a tool for
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  me. I'm.
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  No, it isn't. I really isn't.
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  Because to tell you the truth, everybody knows a lot.
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  All my community, the people who I'm connected to and who God put
• 20:31
  in my life, they know I'm very gifted.
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  They know I have written, they have heard my songs before I put
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  it on AI. They've heard me make beats,
• 20:39
  they heard me make music. They all were here.
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  My family definitely knows. Ever since I was 20 years old, I
• 20:45
  was producer. But I've been doing music since
• 20:47
  I was three. I've been rapping since I was
• 20:49
  16, so all of this really is just like a bunch of hype just
• 20:53
  to keep people from, I don't know, it's a lot of pride in
• 20:56
  that to me, you know what I'm saying?
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  And I'm moving aside that. Yeah, I appreciate exactly like
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  I said. I don't, I don't, I don't have a
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  problem with it. It, it can be used, you know,
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  for for good or evil. Just depends on like you said,
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  whose whose mindset is to another type on the side of
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  that. That's it.
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  We're going to get, we're going to get both sides of the
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  Express. Well, there you go.
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  Social media, Contra creation. Yeah, you got to get.
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  You got to. Get what you get.
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  And it's to the point where some of these videos that you can't
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  even tell that you got to really question these videos that
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  people produce it because if you don't pay attention, you might
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  think that's a real video. I'm on that next.
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  I'm on that next. I'm making the AI videos next.
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  Yeah, that video though, because.
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  If they're playing with our imagination, that is a real,
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  because if the brain can't tell the difference between a real
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  and imaginary threat. So if you're making videos that
• 21:58
  look real and you're making plane crashes or you're making
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  all these different things, that's an emotional reaction
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  that you're getting from that video even.
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  Though the same way everything right even.
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  Though you know it's not real, but your brain is going to
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  digest it as as such. Well, people manipulate a lot of
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  things. I mean, people manipulate money.
• 22:25
  Counterfeit money is out there where it looks real, but it
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  ain't real. I mean, it's all about the hands
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  of the beholder, of where you put the tool in the tool, the
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  crafting or what who you played in.
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  If you put it in the wrong hands, obviously, yeah, you're
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  going to have a lot of things to think about.
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  But that's just pretty much the life of life in general.
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  Life is always going to be full of threats and blessings.
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  You're going to see it. The whole point is you have to
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  discern what is going to be considered God's righteousness
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  in it or not. And that's, that's just the
• 22:55
  firmament. We can't take that away from
• 22:58
  humanity at all, no matter how much we try.
• 23:00
  You know what I'm saying? It's just something you're going
• 23:02
  to have to live. You're going to have to learn to
• 23:04
  grow up and do. Fortunately and unfortunately
• 23:08
  for the children and generations beyond, just like our grandkids
• 23:11
  and beyond, they're going to be dealing with a whole two
• 23:14
  different lifestyle, but of the same type of principles that we
• 23:17
  stand for in our lifetime. So it doesn't really matter.
• 23:19
  Yeah. I.
• 23:20
  Feel you on that one, and I appreciate you man for sharing
• 23:23
  that. We're going to play this
• 23:24
  announcement and get right into top.
• 23:27
  Opinions expressed in this program are those of the
• 23:29
  speakers and do not necessarily reflect the views or positions
• 23:34
  of any entities they represent. Find us on the web at NB Radio.
• 23:39
  Dot US all. Right, so today's topic, you
• 23:45
  know, we if you if you watched last episode, we definitely
• 23:48
  touched on some beatitudes and beyond.
• 23:51
  We walked away, you know, with with some other ideas and so I'm
• 23:56
  like I said, I'm sharing my platform with him.
• 23:59
  He's got some topics he wanted to bring to the table.
• 24:03
  So talk about this one today, man, what we going to?
• 24:06
  So this one, I call it the dual of the dual nature and that is
• 24:11
  considered what we consider we came up with the altered ego.
• 24:16
  So the dual of the dual nature, a lot of people won't, let's put
• 24:24
  it this way. When we're born, we're born with
• 24:26
  the Beatitudes. That's who we were with
• 24:27
  children. We talked about this in our last
• 24:29
  session. That made us be creative, that
• 24:32
  made us be kids, that made us be silly, that made us be our
• 24:35
  individual selves. Whether we was mocked or hate or
• 24:38
  liked. It didn't matter.
• 24:39
  When you was in kindergarten and you was running around, you
• 24:42
  know, popping your nose back and forth for freedom, going on the
• 24:47
  crazy sillies of the freedom to do whatever would you want to be
• 24:49
  because nobody really had kids, didn't know they were doing
• 24:52
  their own thing. And the whole point is, is that
• 24:55
  that was the purity of the Beatitudes in us because we
• 24:58
  didn't have any type of thought of being malicious or anything
• 25:01
  until later. Now, when you get into
• 25:05
  understanding, that goes innocent until you get the part,
• 25:09
  the one, the one that moves like the serpent, that moves like the
• 25:13
  enemy. And that's the one that hurts
• 25:15
  your feelings. That's the one that said you're
• 25:17
  goofy. That's the one who called you
• 25:19
  names. That's the one that sent you
• 25:21
  home crime. That was the girl that rejected
• 25:23
  you in grammar school with the extra chocolate, chocolate milk.
• 25:27
  Come on, let's just keep it real.
• 25:29
  The whole point is to say, you know, you was you was in love.
• 25:33
  You was in love. You saw attraction for the first
• 25:35
  time when you was a kid and you was like, I'm going to do
• 25:38
  everything for this girl. I'm going to do everything.
• 25:42
  Kindergarten, kindergarten. She had red bars in her hair and
• 25:46
  that was awesome, you know what I'm saying?
• 25:49
  So you did everything to show that she was interested in the
• 25:52
  minute she went to Junebug over you because Junebug is just
• 25:55
  causing the ruckus. He was tougher or whatever.
• 25:58
  You cried about it. There goes your heart broke.
• 26:00
  So here's where the ego entered your body right then and there.
• 26:03
  Boom. So the enemy hits you with
• 26:06
  something to take your way out of you.
• 26:08
  The way he did it was basically he formed.
• 26:10
  He made you form a persona. Now, the way this persona became
• 26:14
  more craftier because we've been doing it ever since grammar
• 26:17
  school. When you got into your teen
• 26:20
  years, your puberty years as a male, as a man, these things
• 26:24
  started becoming more serious. I don't know where we did in
• 26:28
  California, but I know in Chicago, if you came to school
• 26:31
  with some pro wins on and you as a freshman in high school,
• 26:33
  you're just going to get jacked up.
• 26:35
  You're about to get beat. You're about to get beat.
• 26:38
  How you going to see beat? Up?
• 26:40
  Beat, Yeah. They make you want to take them
• 26:44
  shoes off and walk. Home.
• 26:45
  Seriously. That's how bad it was.
• 26:48
  Exactly. Because now we're in the enemy's
• 26:51
  territory of understanding what is what out judgment.
• 26:54
  Now we're starting to get into a point where we started forming
• 26:57
  ourselves to the world instead of forming ourselves to God.
• 27:01
  So the Beatitudes were getting overwritten by the ego.
• 27:06
  That's why we say it's altered because of the fact it altered
• 27:10
  our system from when we was kids and when we was young.
• 27:14
  And we didn't have a lot of the parents enforcing or protecting
• 27:18
  us from that back then. It was more like, you know, you
• 27:22
  can get those pro rings. Oh, you boy, I spent $20 on a
• 27:26
  bro. You gonna wear those phone
• 27:27
  rings? And you like, I don't want to
• 27:29
  wear a Mama. But they didn't realize Mama
• 27:32
  sending us to school to get beat up every single time.
• 27:37
  So these are the things that we have to look at.
• 27:40
  The alter ego is the dual nature, the dual nature of the
• 27:43
  persona, the persona of who you are.
• 27:45
  My persona is samurai war, but that's not who I am in the
• 27:49
  Beatitudes. I'm Ariana.
• 27:52
  I'm Ariana down to the the the schematic of what did God say I
• 27:56
  was going to be while I was in the womb that part and that's
• 28:03
  the part that's coming together. So let's go back so we.
• 28:06
  Talk about childhood, right? We talk about the ego and and
• 28:10
  how at at some point in life, we're living life free to be
• 28:15
  laugh, joke, dance in front of the family, do all the crazy
• 28:19
  stuff, dance on the table, whatever.
• 28:21
  Whatever we did to express ourselves as children, not
• 28:23
  knowing anything about right or wrong, good or bad, as far as an
• 28:28
  emotional state, as far as looking funny or you're, you're
• 28:32
  weird or whatever, whatever those things, right?
• 28:34
  But there's something that does happen, right?
• 28:37
  There's something that happens where that mind of that child
• 28:41
  lands on. There's something wrong with me.
• 28:47
  I'm on my own. I don't belong.
• 28:49
  There's an experience that happens.
• 28:51
  And what you're pointing to for me and the work that I've done
• 28:54
  on myself was the identity of that ego of that child, right?
• 29:01
  You you're saying that the ego, I'm looking at it from an
• 29:04
  identity gets created that I don't just become good enough,
• 29:08
  but I'm living from, I'm not good enough and I'm living from
• 29:12
  emotional distress of I never want to feel that embarrassment
• 29:17
  again. I never want to be disappointed.
• 29:20
  I never want to be in bed. I never want to feel shame and
• 29:25
  and me, that's that identity ego that happens such so subtle.
• 29:32
  So subtle. Right.
• 29:33
  That. The child lands on that identity
• 29:37
  and as as you said, if the parents aren't educated and they
• 29:39
  don't know child development or they don't understand how
• 29:43
  powerful the brain is and and how the enemy attacks us right
• 29:47
  at the very early ages. So you have the spiritual
• 29:51
  context of that conversation and you have, you know, the mental
• 29:54
  health aspects of child development.
• 29:56
  But. If exactly.
• 29:57
  Parents don't know that. And when that happened and that
• 30:00
  fracture happened and you make us up a story that there's
• 30:04
  something wrong with me. And then you begin to live from
• 30:07
  there's something wrong with me because I got, I got the
• 30:10
  experience, I got the memory, I got the body sensation and you
• 30:17
  make a decision on your emotional state.
• 30:19
  I'm never going to feel that pain again.
• 30:22
  That's that's not even the child, that's the brain
• 30:24
  shutting. Off.
• 30:26
  Operating naturally what it does naturally.
• 30:29
  So I for saying that, because when you talk about ego, you got
• 30:34
  to, you got to measure that. You got to start peeling those
• 30:37
  layers off of what that actually means, what it looks like from
• 30:41
  from a technical standpoint, biblical standpoint.
• 30:44
  And then how does it show up in my life?
• 30:46
  As as. As an ego.
• 30:50
  That's what I've noticed is that what it does that is like for
• 30:53
  me, when I realized when I was a kid, I was very emotional.
• 30:56
  I was very much, I was showing a lot of different stuff in life
• 30:59
  that I shouldn't have been shown as a kid.
• 31:02
  And some of that was, some of that was possible because I was
• 31:05
  a little bit nosy, but some of it because no kid, what kid is
• 31:08
  not a detective at a young age? That's not, like, impossible,
• 31:12
  but also a lot of it comes from a lot of people not paying
• 31:16
  attention and parents not paying attention to what they're doing
• 31:19
  around their children. And I was raised by children, to
• 31:23
  be honest with you. My Mama was 16 when she had me.
• 31:26
  She was married at 19 when I was 3 to my dad.
• 31:28
  My dad was only 21. He was fresh out the gate.
• 31:31
  So when we look at all of that, matter of fact, I think my dad
• 31:34
  was 23. We married my mom.
• 31:35
  But still, nonetheless, he was still fresh out the gate as an
• 31:37
  adult. My mom was right behind
• 31:39
  following. Still young.
• 31:40
  Yeah, he was still young. Yeah.
• 31:41
  So it's a lot that I grew up in my first eight years of my life
• 31:45
  that were like, you know, yeah, the first eight years of my
• 31:50
  life. We talk about Gaga Google to I
• 31:52
  got he man, you know what I'm saying?
• 31:54
  And it's like, I watched this in front of my face.
• 31:56
  I watched my family come over or my family have to bunk at my
• 32:00
  mom's house because they didn't have no place to stay and they
• 32:02
  lived underneath my dad. And, you know, I watched the the
• 32:05
  the weed smoke, the drinking, but also I watched the
• 32:08
  bodybuilding. I watched them play Uno and I
• 32:10
  didn't even understand what that was when he was a kid.
• 32:13
  And I watched them, you know, do all sorts of things that were
• 32:16
  adult and childlike. And a lot of times they didn't
• 32:19
  want me playing the child stuff. But I'm like, it's a kid thing.
• 32:22
  You could have taught me how to play Uno.
• 32:24
  How hard is that? You know what I'm saying?
• 32:26
  But it's because they were caught up in their thing.
• 32:29
  I was just the, the, the, the, how can I say, I'll use an atom,
• 32:34
  for example, you got protons and neutrons and you got the
• 32:37
  electrons that float, that float around.
• 32:39
  Well, I'm the electron that floats around so I can see
• 32:42
  everything is going on inside, but I could never be apart.
• 32:45
  You see what I'm saying? But as I watch how we grow up,
• 32:50
  you know what I'm saying. My mom when she divorced my dad
• 32:53
  or my dad divorced her. Whichever 1 is the truth.
• 32:55
  I really care less now because that chapter is closed for me.
• 32:57
  I'm complete. I realized that the journey
• 33:01
  changes with the child. So not only did it abrupt change
• 33:04
  to why I'm dealing with something different, I'm dealing
• 33:06
  with my mom by herself now. Now, she's still a kid, she's
• 33:08
  still young. She was like maybe 20/21/22 by
• 33:13
  the time I got, by the time she divorced my dad, you know what
• 33:16
  I'm saying? And when I'm looking at that,
• 33:19
  going into watching her by herself, she's wild, you know
• 33:23
  what I'm saying? But she was young, which is
• 33:26
  right, you know what I'm saying? She hopeless romantic out there
• 33:28
  looking for love, you know what I'm saying?
• 33:30
  There's a lot of guys that came up there charming, and I saw a
• 33:33
  lot of guys come and go, but you know, they were friends or they
• 33:36
  weren't friends or they were more than friends.
• 33:37
  I watched them kiss and then they're not there no more.
• 33:40
  There's a lot of stuff that I've seen coming up, you know, and
• 33:43
  that's because I was raised by children, so I didn't have that
• 33:47
  old, that old elder, middle age parent.
• 33:54
  They kind of schooled me, educated me, was more
• 33:57
  experienced, you know what I'm saying?
• 33:59
  And was the proper nurturer of the upbringer.
• 34:02
  I was just riding along like a little brother and didn't
• 34:05
  understand what I was all about or what was going down.
• 34:08
  And then not to mention the other half of them being
• 34:11
  socially confined to the house all the time and not having
• 34:13
  nothing. So that was a whole nother story
• 34:15
  in itself. And all that plays a part too.
• 34:20
  But by the time I got, but by the time I got to high school,
• 34:23
  my identity was like dark. There was nothing there, you
• 34:28
  know? So by the time I got to high
• 34:29
  school, I was already suicidal. You see, by the time I got to
• 34:34
  high school, I was already like, I don't really care what you do
• 34:37
  to me, you know what I'm saying? And it got to a point where I
• 34:41
  was pushed over in high school a lot.
• 34:43
  Valentine's Day, please. Carnations are handed around
• 34:46
  school by fake girlfriends, dudes writing stuff, writing
• 34:50
  girls names because they mad or they got into a writing girls
• 34:54
  names on carnations and then sending them to me and say this
• 34:56
  girl like you dog. And then here I go out there and
• 34:59
  find out that was her boyfriend the whole time playing around
• 35:01
  with me and she was just mad at him for doing it.
• 35:05
  You see what I'm saying? That kind of stuff.
• 35:06
  So I went through a lot in that area, but that area showed me
• 35:10
  where I started developing my alter ego.
• 35:13
  My alter ego was a coma for Street Fighter.
• 35:15
  That's my alter ego. Every time I get caught up in
• 35:19
  the sense of when I was younger and I didn't know how to
• 35:22
  separate, get back to me because I'm, I'm Ariana's gone.
• 35:27
  I adapted to the warrior that was a coma.
• 35:30
  And the story of him was he was, he practiced well in martial
• 35:35
  arts, the sort of chronic karate, but nobody could shoot
• 35:37
  the fireball from their hands. That's unrealistic.
• 35:39
  But the the missing part of studying the chi Ryu and Ken
• 35:43
  studied the hardo, you know, the the light hardo, the regular
• 35:47
  hardo style of soda con karate. But Goki, he was the Preda.
• 35:52
  He was their predecessor. So Goki said, you know, he
• 35:57
  wanted the power so much and he started studying the dark hardo.
• 36:02
  It was enticing to him. Now we're getting into the next
• 36:04
  part of this, the enticement of do I have humanity and use my
• 36:10
  fish for just being human, or do I want the power to be more than
• 36:15
  him? And the part of me seeing this
• 36:18
  as a kid and seeing this as a teenager, I'm being picked on
• 36:21
  every day, but I got to do what's right.
• 36:23
  I got to go to school every day and try to focus on the teacher,
• 36:26
  but I'm getting picked on, so I can't focus on the teacher, but
• 36:29
  I still got to do what's right. I got to go to school and get
• 36:32
  beat up for my lunch money every day, but I got to focus on
• 36:36
  what's right. I don't have the heart to turn
• 36:38
  around and say when I catch these bullies, I'm going to
• 36:41
  string them up one by one in the locker room and I'm going to
• 36:45
  take my money back and I'm going to do it.
• 36:47
  I don't have that heart. I didn't have that in me.
• 36:49
  So it's like I want that, but I don't know how to get to it.
• 36:52
  And so over time in high school when things got worse, and I
• 36:56
  mean way worse, it's in my book. I don't let y'all read the
• 36:58
  details on it and the four journeys in spiritual warfare,
• 37:02
  the warrior. Like I said, if anybody wants
• 37:04
  it, you can check and definitely e-mail me about it or whatever
• 37:07
  be the case. As far as the social, social
• 37:09
  media, you can check me a samurai show in Tacoma.
• 37:12
  I'll be happy to if you DM me, I'll be able to show you the
• 37:14
  book. I'm not trying to, I want to
• 37:16
  market it, but right now, at the moment, I'm want to see how many
• 37:20
  people really want to know who this person is that comes out
• 37:23
  with this material. So I'm doing it under God's
• 37:26
  tips. And when God tells me it's time
• 37:28
  to market it, then I'm going to market it.
• 37:29
  You know what I'm saying? I'll get a publisher.
• 37:32
  But it explains all the things I went through all the way up
• 37:35
  until 2017, 18 years old. When I looked at that concept,
• 37:40
  you know, over time in high school, by the time I had my
• 37:42
  senior year, I was already talking about taking me in the
• 37:45
  school out with me. You know what I'm saying?
• 37:47
  Real talk. I was all off from the kamikaze
• 37:50
  end. If I'm going, you going and
• 37:53
  everybody, just everybody just looked like, yo, man, I used to
• 37:56
  go to school with nunchucks in my hand.
• 37:57
  Truth be told, they can't get me now because I'm already out of
• 37:59
  the school. Yeah, I used to go to school
• 38:01
  with nunchucks in my back, real ones.
• 38:03
  I put the fake ones in there to throw somebody off and one body.
• 38:05
  Somebody did catch me with the fake ones.
• 38:08
  They thought they, they saw the real ones went and snitched.
• 38:12
  But I put I, I had, I had a friend that went on the head
• 38:15
  and, you know, a woman in locker somewhere else.
• 38:18
  Nobody knew about it. Nobody said no names.
• 38:20
  And I let the fake ones in there.
• 38:21
  And then the teacher came in with the with the police
• 38:24
  officers. You have a concealed weapon.
• 38:27
  You have a concealed weapon on campus.
• 38:30
  You're going to jail. I was like, really?
• 38:32
  I pulled out the phone and started beating myself over the
• 38:34
  head with about, is this really dangerous?
• 38:38
  Oh, my God, I'm feeling myself getting lightheaded here.
• 38:41
  And then everybody started was like, oh, Mr. Rogers, please do
• 38:43
  not scare us like that. Oh my God.
• 38:46
  And then I went on ahead and switched them back out again,
• 38:48
  like I did carry them because, look, I'm not about to be
• 38:51
  running up in school for 15 dudes.
• 38:53
  They keep beating me up every day.
• 38:54
  That's not happening. And then I started wearing
• 38:56
  black. I'm listening.
• 39:01
  It's, it's, it's not wild, but it's wild, right?
• 39:04
  How you can look back at your age now and, and play those
• 39:10
  stories back, right. And, and then, and then my other
• 39:14
  show on, on Tuesdays, we talked about what it is to be a
• 39:17
  mailman, right? And, and other than being a
• 39:20
  provider and protector, but more of the ingredients of what it is
• 39:24
  to be a male man, right? We talked about the beatitudes,
• 39:26
  we talked about the fruit of the spirit, we talked about the
• 39:29
  virtues, we talked about the Kingdom principles, the, the
• 39:32
  anger, the frustration, like all of that is our ingredients,
• 39:35
  right? All mixed.
• 39:36
  In. And to go back and look at that,
• 39:42
  it's like, but we're born in this sin nature though, right?
• 39:45
  We're born in rebellion. We're born with that iniquity
• 39:48
  already in our hearts, right? That's, that's part of, that's
• 39:54
  part of that fall, right? So how do we, we, and, and now
• 40:01
  we're spending time, you know, putting together mentorship
• 40:05
  programs. We're putting together all this
• 40:07
  education to go back and help these children discover the
• 40:13
  stuff so that they can heal. From the self that we experience
• 40:17
  in our childhood, right? This is this is this is a path
• 40:20
  that I'm on going back now in time with these children,
• 40:23
  teaching them these knowledges, education, discovering that for
• 40:25
  themselves. When When that is that
• 40:29
  biblically that is a part of our nature as what it is to be a
• 40:31
  human being. Well, the thing about it is This
• 40:34
  is why I was going to get to it. This is the reason why I'm
• 40:36
  getting to this. Yeah, a lion is on.
• 40:40
  God created lions, right? And tigers, right?
• 40:45
  He created Cougars, cheetahs, leopards.
• 40:49
  I got a question. Are you going to walk up and try
• 40:51
  to pet a lion? I don't think any human being is
• 40:55
  not in not. In nature.
• 40:58
  Not in nature, right? Right.
• 40:59
  You see a lion. Now David was a real breeder,
• 41:02
  only a one-of-a-kind. He went and killed a lion, but
• 41:06
  bare handed mind you. But right, So the concept is the
• 41:11
  same thing with every human being, martial arts, combat
• 41:14
  skills, the things that we have to do to defend ourselves is
• 41:18
  like having lying with the claws and teeth.
• 41:21
  Why do you think the male ones are the most dangerous ones?
• 41:25
  Because they protect what they have.
• 41:27
  With that, a lot of people say, oh, you believe in martial arts?
• 41:30
  Oh, that's demonism. That's no, wait, hold on, stop.
• 41:35
  So why don't we just go on back to the biblical times when
• 41:38
  Jonathan and David exchanged war combat skills to be able to
• 41:42
  fight for King Saul? OK, so let's get back to that.
• 41:48
  David had war skills on him, was trained.
• 41:50
  But you say it's demonism for him to know battle tactics, to
• 41:54
  know how to use a sword and a shield.
• 41:56
  What's the difference between a sword and a shield to using your
• 41:58
  bare hands as a way of being able to take out your enemy?
• 42:02
  It's, it's the, it's the heart behind why you're using the
• 42:04
  sword in. The shield exactly.
• 42:06
  And any martial arts discipline, they teach you, yeah, the
• 42:10
  thoughts. But then any martial arts
• 42:11
  discipline, any martial arts discipline, go to any one of
• 42:14
  them. The first thing that hit you
• 42:14
  with this, with the mindset, the first thing that hit you was the
• 42:17
  mindset and understanding why you're using it.
• 42:19
  Respect the weapon. Your hands are weapons.
• 42:22
  You have to respect the weapon, which means you got to respect
• 42:24
  your temple. You have to respect your body.
• 42:26
  That's the main thing that is preached in the word about
• 42:29
  anything. Before we have to understand any
• 42:31
  of this, the word is understanding how to train and
• 42:33
  change your temple before you go on ahead and try to exit to show
• 42:38
  yourself approved. And that's the concept that I
• 42:41
  look at where a lot of this whole religious jargon about,
• 42:46
  oh, well, that's super. That's not of Jesus.
• 42:49
  Jesus says to turn the other cheek against your enemy and
• 42:53
  just pray for him. Well, that's true.
• 42:58
  But how that works is if my enemy didn't do nothing, let's
• 43:02
  just put it this way, I got enemies teasing me, I'm going to
• 43:07
  go pray for him because that's something that's not immediate
• 43:11
  threat. But if I got the enemy of my
• 43:13
  face ready to take my life, I'm going to do everything in my
• 43:16
  power to fold that enemy. We're victory.
• 43:18
  We're victorious over this time period.
• 43:20
  I'm not going to sit here like pow, we turn them to POW.
• 43:25
  No, I'm going to do something to protect myself.
• 43:29
  But. See, see.
• 43:30
  But even even in that, even in that context of how you share
• 43:33
  that, there's still space before you get put in that position of
• 43:40
  the hand to hand combat. And I believe that that's the
• 43:43
  part of the heart of us that the word is talking about.
• 43:46
  Why would you even put yourself in position to even have to get
• 43:51
  to the point of the hand to hand combat if you know that this
• 43:55
  dude got a problem with me and I know this and he's expressed
• 43:59
  this, why would I let that even get to the point where he's
• 44:04
  going to put his hand on? Me it's not like a it is the
• 44:11
  heart of us, but every single person has a point where you're
• 44:14
  walking down the street, you're minding your own business with
• 44:17
  wickedness comes up on you and tries to take you out.
• 44:21
  You can control it. You didn't know that person had
• 44:24
  that problem, but they ran up on you and you got to defend
• 44:28
  yourself because God said live first.
• 44:30
  You choose life. You see what I'm saying it's not
• 44:33
  like it was premedi Yeah, it's not like premeditated like oh, I
• 44:37
  know the enemy is out here. Oh, it's him right there.
• 44:40
  Let me pray for him before I even put myself in that
• 44:42
  situation. It's like you're not unfortunate
• 44:45
  Teller. You can't see what's coming up
• 44:46
  against you. That's the time of self-defense
• 44:48
  is used but, but here, but other than that, here's.
• 44:50
  The thing, here's the thing with the with with the law, right?
• 44:53
  And I had this conversation with my buddy a couple days ago, even
• 44:59
  though you approached me on the street.
• 45:03
  Right. And you?
• 45:03
  Come to me and you know, hey bro, you know what I'm about.
• 45:05
  I'm going to knock you out. Well, blah, blah, blah, right?
• 45:09
  Still still in in the law. I can't put my hands on you
• 45:17
  officially. Just because you said I'm going
• 45:19
  to knock you out, it doesn't mean that I have to defend
• 45:22
  myself. And I'm going to knock you out
• 45:24
  first since you threatened me, right?
• 45:26
  So. Even.
• 45:27
  Even when it comes to the power of the tongue and the power of
• 45:30
  our conversation and how we talk at people or talk to people, I
• 45:36
  can regardless of how you talking to me, it's it's going
• 45:40
  to be that outcome is going to be based on how I respond to
• 45:42
  you. If I respond to you with
• 45:46
  kindness. And hey, like bro, like what's
• 45:48
  like you know that that could be it could be escalate the
• 45:52
  situation, right? Exactly get you out.
• 45:55
  Go to 1st. Right.
• 45:58
  But for some people, they're, they're, they're reacting to the
• 46:02
  threat and taking that first punch because I feel like if you
• 46:08
  say you're going to knock me out, well, I'm going to knock
• 46:10
  you out first. But what, what does the law say?
• 46:13
  The law says whoever throws that first punch is the one.
• 46:16
  Going the one that's going and getting in jail.
• 46:18
  Well, also it does say too that even though the law also has
• 46:22
  this cause in it too, even if you're attacked, if you even if
• 46:27
  you are attacked and you're the defender, if you if you do not
• 46:31
  immediately return fire while being attacked, it's
• 46:35
  retaliation. So somebody hit me back there's.
• 46:39
  A space. There's a space.
• 46:40
  There's a spaceship between that and that's where like martial
• 46:42
  arts comes into action because you learn how to Wing Chung,
• 46:45
  they teach you how to block and strike at the same time.
• 46:47
  So the whole point, that's why I like that one because that one
• 46:50
  allows me to defend myself to strike at the same time.
• 46:52
  People using Wing Chung, that's really self-defense.
• 46:55
  The reason why is because as I'm defending myself, I'm returning
• 46:59
  fire, but I'm only returning fire to evade further attack.
• 47:03
  So that exactly. So I'm wounding the person just
• 47:06
  to get out the way. Now if I'm going ahead and win
• 47:09
  the person, then I'll go ahead and hit him again and hit him
• 47:11
  again and hit him. Now I'm in the wrong.
• 47:13
  I'm all over it. Now I'm in trouble.
• 47:14
  You see what I'm saying? But the concept of what I was
• 47:17
  saying with that, that's that dual nature.
• 47:20
  We have claws, we have teeth, we are lions.
• 47:23
  And if you process in nature, yes, we have a right to put.
• 47:25
  If we feel threatened, we aren't going to use it with survival.
• 47:28
  What I'm saying, so if you're living in your ego, survival
• 47:31
  modes, phase of life, you go, that's how you're going to react
• 47:35
  to life. Facts now.
• 47:38
  The heart of us is turning the other cheek is not your natural.
• 47:41
  It's not saying to turn the cheek, cheek, cheek.
• 47:44
  It's it's your heart. That's my whole.
• 47:46
  Point. Yes, right.
• 47:48
  But that's my whole point. Most people don't, They think
• 47:51
  it's for physical right when the word is about the heart of us.
• 47:55
  And so cats don't realize that it's that the word is about the
• 48:00
  heart posture of us. And that's what we have to break
• 48:04
  the altered ego, right? The pride in US says, I'm not
• 48:08
  going to let nobody beat me down.
• 48:10
  I'm not going to go and let nobody break me up.
• 48:13
  I'm not going to let nobody kill me.
• 48:15
  That's the pride. But the concept is you don't
• 48:19
  have to tell yourself that in order to walk it.
• 48:23
  You can just simply be a part of your be a part of understanding
• 48:26
  who God is in your life. I know they I watch what stuff
• 48:30
  now. Now I've learned how to use
• 48:31
  these knuckles and I learned how to use them and I got broken
• 48:34
  knuckles to prove it is so you can see I got bent one here.
• 48:36
  I got scars all on them. I got stuff that happened to me,
• 48:40
  but now, but now it's like I don't have to use it anymore.
• 48:47
  You know what? I'm surrounded by so many people
• 48:49
  that are just friends most of the conference.
• 48:52
  How did you get to the point? How did you get to the point?
• 48:54
  Because again, the ego is not for me.
• 48:57
  The ego is not right or wrong, good or bad, right?
• 49:00
  We, we label it as such. Ego is the label.
• 49:04
  But my ego and your ego, probably two different
• 49:07
  conversations, right? With ourselves, yes.
• 49:11
  End result is probably going to be the same in survival mode.
• 49:14
  The end result is. You gotta be the same exactly
• 49:17
  that's. The.
• 49:19
  End result exactly. The thing is make.
• 49:21
  It right or it doesn't make. I.
• 49:24
  I guess, not that I guess, but what I'm saying is for each
• 49:28
  individual person, you have to then take that term ego.
• 49:34
  Look at the definition and look at how you line up with that ego
• 49:40
  conversation to figure out what is it that's driving you to have
• 49:44
  that level of, as they say, what has you easing God out ego ease
• 49:50
  God out. What's having you ease God out?
• 49:53
  Your attitude, your behavior, your frustrations, your past
• 49:56
  experiences, your fear of dying too soon, your fear of whatever,
• 50:01
  whatever you know. Childhood, you know, I got that
• 50:05
  one that's that's really tricked out because I got a testimony
• 50:08
  about that last Sunday, actually last Sunday.
• 50:11
  I was pretty much the Sunday before that.
• 50:13
  I was kind of disappointed because I wasn't really, how can
• 50:16
  I say I was still, I don't like to, I guess the word
• 50:20
  emasculation is like extreme to what happened, but I can still
• 50:23
  feel the intimidation off of what happened and I still felt
• 50:27
  like it wasn't still seen or crossed over.
• 50:31
  So what happened was I didn't trip on it.
• 50:36
  I, I accept it and I took, I gave it to God and throughout
• 50:41
  the whole week, I was a little upset in the beginning and then
• 50:45
  I was able to talk about it. I was able to bring it out and I
• 50:48
  was able to get advice, wise counsel on how to settle it.
• 50:53
  So by the time last Sunday came around, I was at peace.
• 50:58
  So I realized that was a choice of a spirit of operation of my
• 51:02
  heart posture. What is this for?
• 51:04
  What is this about? And then I asked myself the one
• 51:07
  of the most important question, what does this have to do with
• 51:09
  me and God? And I said it don't.
• 51:14
  It's got something to do with mess that has something to do
• 51:17
  with assumptions of me that basically I keep defending for
• 51:23
  no reason because to tell you the truth, there is no reason
• 51:28
  for me to hold this on and keep trying to defend myself to
• 51:31
  people who just don't see me. Why do I have to care?
• 51:35
  And I said to myself, well, if that's the case, I have to
• 51:37
  appreciate the people that do see me.
• 51:40
  Here's no, here's where my pride says I want everybody to see me.
• 51:44
  Excuse me Exactly. Let me not want everybody to see
• 51:49
  me now. So I'm put in a position where
• 51:51
  everybody can't see me and I don't want them to see me.
• 51:55
  So when I saw that, I said, you know what, God, I guess that's
• 51:58
  why you got me at the door every single time I come to church.
• 52:02
  I guess that's why you got me quiet majority of the time.
• 52:05
  Now I come to church when the past I wasn't so quiet.
• 52:09
  I guess now is the time where I don't have to openly express my
• 52:12
  anger to anyone because it's really not even a purpose to
• 52:14
  even express it. So it says in James, wrath of a
• 52:18
  man produces nothing. So when I thought about all of
• 52:24
  that, I said to myself, now what am I really angry at?
• 52:27
  What I'm really mad about? Do you know I was able to hug my
• 52:30
  ex in church yesterday when I really had a problem with her
• 52:33
  all the way around for the past year.
• 52:36
  Wow. It was it hurt because I know
• 52:44
  what happened. Like I'm not, I'm not an idiot,
• 52:47
  you know, words travel and they get back to me.
• 52:51
  But I was able to hug her with an understanding that she's my
• 52:54
  sister in Christ still because she and her still turns the same
• 52:57
  church. So I was able to show that love,
• 53:01
  the unconditional love of being a brother.
• 53:03
  That's it. And then I said to myself,
• 53:06
  that's not so bad. You know why?
• 53:09
  Because now I got peace within myself beyond anybody else's
• 53:11
  understanding. So now I can smile a little bit
• 53:13
  more when I go to church. Now I can smile a little bit
• 53:16
  more when I'm serving. Because now all the stuff that
• 53:18
  people were saying or thinking, the snickerdoodles, I call them
• 53:22
  snickerdoodles, you know, they're snickling and doodling,
• 53:25
  but they ain't paying attention. I don't have to think about it
• 53:28
  no more. I don't have to think about it
• 53:30
  no more. Because why?
• 53:31
  I already feel myself already understanding what God is using
• 53:34
  me for. So, so it's, it's, it's, it's
• 53:37
  wild that you, you, you have this, you, you, this is your
• 53:40
  experience, right? Because that was one of one of
• 53:44
  my childhood fractures. Was that, that breakup in, in,
• 53:50
  in junior high school, right? I never wanted to bring a girl
• 53:55
  around my family because I didn't want to have to explain
• 53:58
  what happened when she's gone because in my mind she was going
• 54:02
  to leave me anyway because I have abandonment issues.
• 54:05
  So I would never bring her around or a girl around my
• 54:08
  family to meet my family because I didn't want to have to
• 54:12
  explain. Oh, where's so and so at?
• 54:14
  And then now I'm embarrassed. I'm I got shame, I got
• 54:18
  disappointment and I got now I got to explain to you why she
• 54:22
  ain't around no more. Bro, that was that was
• 54:24
  devastating. So I can only imagine for you to
• 54:26
  be in the same church and break up right and still attend that
• 54:31
  shame church. And then you have to be in all
• 54:35
  of that snickering doodle in that, right?
• 54:37
  That's the part that I was like, I am.
• 54:40
  I'm not going to, I don't want to even feel that.
• 54:44
  But I know what it felt like because in junior high school,
• 54:47
  when she dated my buddy's friend, I felt that.
• 54:52
  And now everybody's looking at me.
• 54:53
  I thought that was your girl. Oh, I thought, you know, And now
• 54:55
  and then, grad night. And they're.
• 54:58
  On the bus together, grad night. And they're back there hugged up
• 55:00
  and I'm like embarrassed, you know?
• 55:03
  And it's like and then at 14 though, bro, like 14 like a
• 55:06
  child like. A that's what my friend of mine
• 55:09
  told me the best thing she said. She said at 43 if you still
• 55:14
  throwing temper tantrums over negative things, which I give
• 55:19
  kudos to her for this because she made me wake up completely.
• 55:23
  I mean completely shouts out to her mom's deaf.
• 55:26
  You know what I'm saying? If you still 40 something years
• 55:29
  old and you still having temper tantrums like you at high
• 55:33
  school, We have problems people. We have Houston, we have a
• 55:40
  problem a matter of fact call all cities in the United States.
• 55:43
  We have an emergency state event right now.
• 55:46
  This is a problem at 46. You should not be mad and sad
• 55:50
  and poked out lip poked out over childish behavior.
• 55:56
  And that's when it kind of dawned on me.
• 55:57
  I've been walking around like that for the longest.
• 56:01
  Picked up ready to go to war at all times because nobody wants
• 56:06
  to, you know, it, it, it gets bad because it's like, it's,
• 56:09
  it's the male and female dynamic now because, you know, girl
• 56:13
  heartbroken. We ain't together.
• 56:14
  Yeah, yeah. They pit us against right.
• 56:16
  They, they pit US against each other.
• 56:18
  So now it's like you got all of this going on where I am the
• 56:20
  target because I'm a man now, not because I broke up with her.
• 56:24
  And, you know, I might want to talk, talk to somebody else, or
• 56:27
  I might not even want to talk to nobody else.
• 56:28
  I might just want to get to know people.
• 56:30
  And it's it's a problem because now I'm a target.
• 56:34
  But all of that was carrying on me with all this anger saying,
• 56:38
  you know what if everybody there says everybody want to be that
• 56:42
  way when I'm about to lock myself back into the tomb, now
• 56:46
  you catch nothing. But now that's that alter ego
• 56:49
  that I had as a child. Once again, we ain't talking
• 56:51
  about 40 something years old, still carrying on childhood
• 56:54
  waves. So that a that a coma came into
• 56:57
  me, the dark, that power saying I'm warrior.
• 57:02
  I don't care what you think no more.
• 57:04
  I'm not going to smile at you no more.
• 57:06
  Why should I you? All you can do is snicker,
• 57:08
  doodle that I smiled at you and you're going to say something
• 57:10
  else about me. So now I'm locked in.
• 57:13
  Now I'm in war mole. Think about that altered ego
• 57:16
  being in that war mode. It didn't help the situation
• 57:19
  even more. Even if I just stood there in
• 57:22
  the war mode, I didn't have to say anything.
• 57:24
  I couldn't just stay locked up. It still don't help because your
• 57:28
  body language is 90% of your speech.
• 57:30
  That body language so and your body language is something that
• 57:35
  you can't help. Guess why?
• 57:36
  Because your heart posture, your heart is in your body and it
• 57:40
  constantly beats. Somebody can tell why you think
• 57:43
  they have what they call a nanograph or what they call a
• 57:44
  pilot polygraph or whatever. And people like, oh, you're
• 57:47
  lying, you're lying. You're lying because you have a
• 57:52
  heart, your body is going to react accordingly.
• 57:55
  There's nothing you can do about it.
• 57:56
  So the whole point is your heart posture.
• 57:58
  You cannot lie about as much as you can try to say, Oh, I love
• 58:02
  you, brother, but if I see that your heart posture is not true,
• 58:06
  you just totally you just totally pissed me clean off with
• 58:09
  my in my aspect, because where I come from, my response is anger.
• 58:13
  It's not to say, Oh, I'm saying because they're lying to me.
• 58:16
  No, mine is. I want to tell you apart because
• 58:18
  you're lying to me. You see what I'm saying?
• 58:20
  But that's that. So that's why is that why people
• 58:22
  say actions speaks louder than words?
• 58:24
  What is? What is?
• 58:25
  What are these these? Actions speak louder than words
• 58:27
  because it's true. These things, I don't, I don't,
• 58:30
  I don't, I don't agree with that phase.
• 58:31
  I don't agree with that anymore. No all.
• 58:34
  Right. Well, it's a balance of the
• 58:36
  tool. It's a balance of that.
• 58:40
  It's a balance of that. Here's the thing about that.
• 58:42
  Actions don't really speak louder than words unless you are
• 58:45
  the person that really is going to put it into that direction.
• 58:48
  Do you make the choice? Are you going to run your mouth
• 58:50
  or not? Do you know action?
• 58:51
  In other words, it makes you a hypocrite, contradictory.
• 58:55
  Or are you going to back it up with your actions and make sure
• 58:58
  that they're line up with your words?
• 58:59
  See if they're out of whack or out of sync.
• 59:01
  They don't work but. But if act but but just because
• 59:04
  my actions don't. My actions speaks louder than my
• 59:07
  words. And you call me a hypocrite out
• 59:11
  of all the definitions in the dictionary that you want to
• 59:14
  label me. You want to label me as a
• 59:16
  hypocrite when you have no idea what's going on in my thought
• 59:19
  process, right that. I'm not sure we talk about
• 59:22
  intention. 'Cause so, so, so, so you
• 59:27
  looking at me on the outer level of your actions, on the line
• 59:30
  with your words, but then you have no idea of what I'm dealing
• 59:34
  with that's causing me to pretend like I'm cool and I'm
• 59:37
  not cool because there's something going on over here
• 59:40
  with me and my emotions. But no one cares to ask, are you
• 59:43
  OK? Like, why you, why you act like
• 59:45
  this? But you say the same.
• 59:47
  But no, you know, you're interested in that.
• 59:48
  You just want to just call me a hypocrite or whatever.
• 59:51
  And then I'm labeled as a hypocrite because my actions,
• 59:55
  but no one's asking the child, what are you dealing with my?
• 1:00:00
  Guy, are you dealing with? I got you.
• 1:00:02
  The mic is buzzing, by the way, just letting you know.
• 1:00:06
  Yeah, it's buzzing because when you yanked it 40, I can't hear
• 1:00:09
  the the the the static in it, but I hear it everywhere.
• 1:00:12
  You're saying No, you probably back to normal.
• 1:00:14
  OK, yeah, you got it. Good, but but.
• 1:00:16
  That's that's so that's the level of the heart posture.
• 1:00:20
  Again, we see the actions in the body and the conversation, but
• 1:00:24
  what's driving the heart posture to make me?
• 1:00:27
  Want to be. That kind of too, because I
• 1:00:30
  can't express myself, because I can't say whatever that fracture
• 1:00:35
  is, right? That ego is not allowing me to
• 1:00:38
  be free. Exactly.
• 1:00:41
  That's the part I had to realize when I got the, when I, when I,
• 1:00:44
  when I speak about arrest the ego, you got to go back to the
• 1:00:49
  beatitudes, you have to go back to them.
• 1:00:53
  So if I know I'm being challenged in a certain area, I
• 1:00:56
  find out what beat attitude I'm being challenging.
• 1:01:01
  But then that lets you know I did it with my friend on one
• 1:01:03
  time on my friend Chris from my old ministry, we sat here and
• 1:01:07
  talked about it. He was like, OK, well let's find
• 1:01:09
  that out. You know, he called me one time
• 1:01:11
  because I was going through it and I had a little ego or
• 1:01:13
  attitude on my shoulders and he was like, yo brother, I realized
• 1:01:17
  where you come from and I love you brother, because you are
• 1:01:19
  always cool and maybe we can work that out.
• 1:01:22
  I said, you know what, I do want to work that out because I want
• 1:01:24
  to find out what it is. So what am I putting off?
• 1:01:27
  That's not part of the Beatitudes.
• 1:01:29
  And we went through and he said one and then we came out to
• 1:01:33
  where I struggle at. We start, I struggle with being
• 1:01:35
  merciful. I struggle in meekness.
• 1:01:38
  I struggle for being. Those are actually the two and
• 1:01:45
  poor and poor in spirit because poorest poor in spirit makes the
• 1:01:50
  other two challenges. So if I'm, if I'm too puffed, if
• 1:01:55
  I'm too fucked up, like how dare you talk down to me or how dare
• 1:01:57
  you do this to me while I'm not being merciful.
• 1:02:01
  And that leaves to me like I wish you would.
• 1:02:04
  Now you know what? I'm coming back you because you
• 1:02:05
  talking down to me. Now I'm not being me.
• 1:02:08
  You see what I'm saying? Because the purest spirit
• 1:02:10
  wasn't, I wasn't poor in spirit. I was prideful.
• 1:02:15
  Like that? See what I'm saying?
• 1:02:17
  It all leaks in. So I had to tap back into my
• 1:02:21
  Beatitude. I had to go back to the boy in
• 1:02:23
  me to feed it more into understanding it's time to
• 1:02:26
  mature because see, the boy created the ego.
• 1:02:31
  I created a coma. You see what I'm saying?
• 1:02:34
  My rage, my whole I don't give a crap nature came from the idea
• 1:02:38
  of a coma because the coma cared less about no one that matter of
• 1:02:42
  fact, there's a video if I was, I'll share my Facebook with you.
• 1:02:44
  You see it on my Facebook. But my birthday video explained
• 1:02:47
  it how I went through the struggles of battling where you
• 1:02:49
  versus a coma and Street Fighter 6 and it showed how it was a
• 1:02:54
  fight. It was like a real fight.
• 1:02:55
  And Coleman was like beast like he brought demons down and was
• 1:02:59
  beat the crap out of Ryu with shadows and Ryu is getting beat
• 1:03:03
  up because Ryu is the boy in me. And that's the ego that's
• 1:03:07
  controlling me. Now.
• 1:03:08
  I'm not controlling the eagle no more because I let the beast get
• 1:03:11
  too far out of control. Right, right, right, right,
• 1:03:14
  right. And that's why we got to focus
• 1:03:15
  on the word to understand what men need to understand.
• 1:03:18
  And this is what ladies to men need to catch in the sense of we
• 1:03:22
  have a dual nature. Instead of dueling with the dual
• 1:03:25
  nature of yourself, learn how to see the parts of when it's time
• 1:03:31
  to pull the dual nature out. In other words, meaning I got to
• 1:03:35
  protect my family. So I'm going to war.
• 1:03:38
  You know what I'm saying? Because let's just say it's a
• 1:03:40
  it's a state of emergency and being here in America, we're
• 1:03:42
  being invaded, right? OK, your army.
• 1:03:46
  I know Marine stuff from being raised up around Marines and
• 1:03:49
  military and police. And well, I am not going to sit
• 1:03:54
  here and say a terrorist with a gun that's threatening my
• 1:03:57
  family, hey, please come in and have some teas and crumpets.
• 1:03:59
  No, it's not, man. We're not doing that right now.
• 1:04:02
  You see what I'm saying? I'm in war mode.
• 1:04:05
  So war mode is the time that that comes out to say I don't
• 1:04:09
  care. My life is not about to be
• 1:04:12
  wasted for me not defending my family, right?
• 1:04:15
  You see what I'm saying? So I'm going to do what I got to
• 1:04:17
  do. And when men get into that dual
• 1:04:19
  nature, it doesn't have to be a style to it, like a coma or any
• 1:04:24
  persona. It just got to be done.
• 1:04:28
  And normally when that happens, a man ain't smiling.
• 1:04:31
  But most of us got an alter ego. Though if we tell the truth,
• 1:04:33
  most of us got an alter ego. Thanks.
• 1:04:35
  Of course. I mean, you know, some of us
• 1:04:37
  don't want to let the kid go, but that's what I say is.
• 1:04:41
  And that alter ego comes in in a lot of cases, but that's because
• 1:04:45
  that comes with spiritual maturity, learning how to let
• 1:04:47
  all of that go. And guess what?
• 1:04:50
  Can't nobody tell you you're spiritually mature or not or
• 1:04:52
  spiritually immature unless they're a little further along.
• 1:04:56
  And can't nobody tell you when it's like you'll be forever
• 1:04:59
  immature or you'll be forever mature.
• 1:05:01
  And guess what? No one has arrived because we're
• 1:05:03
  still sitting on this flesh and bodies, still sitting on our
• 1:05:05
  human bodies, still sitting here on earth.
• 1:05:07
  So for a brother or Chris, I'm listening I.
• 1:05:12
  Said to the day we check. Out to the day we check out
• 1:05:15
  exactly to the day that we see God in the bill.
• 1:05:18
  He's the only one that can tell you job well done or depart from
• 1:05:21
  me. Those are the only things that
• 1:05:22
  you can get judged by while you're here on this planet.
• 1:05:24
  The one thing you can do according to say that says in
• 1:05:26
  the Scripture, according to fellow believers, they can pass
• 1:05:29
  judge of discern through or discern for correction to
• 1:05:33
  another brother if they're behaving not in the way of the
• 1:05:37
  faith. But the thing about it is out of
• 1:05:39
  all of that, people take that out of context because they
• 1:05:41
  don't understand how to judge it to the word of God versus to
• 1:05:43
  judge it to their own self righteousness.
• 1:05:45
  Poor God. Self righteousness.
• 1:05:48
  Exactly that part which is still ego.
• 1:05:50
  Exactly So another word. So in other words, meaning when
• 1:05:54
  it comes to God's righteousness and our righteousness, they're
• 1:05:56
  two different levels our righteousness is based on.
• 1:05:59
  You shouldn't be doing that. If you're a Christian.
• 1:06:02
  Well, winding up with the Word. And if I committed murder, then
• 1:06:09
  you're right. If I totally fornicated and you
• 1:06:13
  saw me doing it, you're right. If I totally spat in your face
• 1:06:19
  and disrespected you for no apparent reason, you're dead on.
• 1:06:22
  OK? And the word, I'm out of water.
• 1:06:25
  You see what I'm saying? But for somebody to try to twist
• 1:06:28
  or over spiritualize things in a way of understanding, everybody
• 1:06:32
  in church, everybody who's a part of the body of Christ is
• 1:06:35
  somewhat growing one way or another.
• 1:06:38
  So you can't, you can't sit here and constantly try to attack the
• 1:06:43
  growing parts. Doesn't it say covered the
• 1:06:49
  members that are weak or vital or fragile?
• 1:06:52
  We covered those areas. But you.
• 1:06:55
  But you know what I saw and I have wrote some notes down
• 1:06:58
  thinking about this episode. Our forgiveness and God's
• 1:07:02
  forgiveness is not the same forgiveness either.
• 1:07:05
  No, it's not. Right, and I and.
• 1:07:07
  That's something we ask for. Right.
• 1:07:09
  And I, but I found myself thinking that that was the same
• 1:07:13
  forgiveness that we're supposed to be forgiving each other with,
• 1:07:16
  but it's not the same forgiveness, right?
• 1:07:19
  We can, we can offer mercy and grace to one another.
• 1:07:22
  But when I saw that and how, when, when Christ was like, he
• 1:07:29
  was, you know, being forgiveness, they got mad at him
• 1:07:32
  for saying that like, only God can forgive.
• 1:07:35
  Like, who are you to, you know, this forgiveness stuff?
• 1:07:37
  And so I'm, I was looking at like, well, I go to the ministry
• 1:07:42
  of reconciliation, which is based off of reconciliation and
• 1:07:46
  forgiveness, but, but that forgiveness is the different
• 1:07:52
  type of forgiveness between you and I.
• 1:07:53
  And then what God forgiveness, this is 2, two different
• 1:07:57
  forgiveness. So I'm, I'm studying that.
• 1:07:59
  I want this, I'm going to get some clarity in that.
• 1:08:01
  But I did realize that there's two different forgiveness going
• 1:08:04
  on in that situation. I'm looking at it as the reason
• 1:08:08
  why I'm saying that is probably because of the fact that God
• 1:08:10
  forgiveness, God is outside of time.
• 1:08:12
  God created us all and God knows all.
• 1:08:14
  So nothing, nothing humanly possible amazes God or you know,
• 1:08:21
  testifies God to the point of God.
• 1:08:24
  No, whenever, whenever he feels like he's whenever you, whenever
• 1:08:28
  you get the condemnation or whatever be the case is not to
• 1:08:30
  those of Jesus Christ because Jesus is always the pinnacle
• 1:08:33
  talking to God about everything that we're doing.
• 1:08:35
  So he's saying, I know my son's heart, I know my brother's
• 1:08:38
  heart, I know what's going on. Lord, please show him, for he
• 1:08:41
  was said. Recognizing my stuff against
• 1:08:44
  you, not you to me. It's me and in my heart, so it's
• 1:08:48
  back to self forgiveness, not me expecting you to give me your
• 1:08:51
  forgiveness because of whatever you did, whatever you did to me.
• 1:08:55
  No, that's not. That's not the same forgiveness.
• 1:08:57
  Sometimes people, it's the forgiveness part is actually
• 1:09:02
  asking for forgiveness. It's asking for them to bring
• 1:09:05
  them at peace when you know you have trespass right now.
• 1:09:08
  The whole point is, is that the whole, the whole concept of
• 1:09:11
  trespassing, we have to set two things, responsibility and
• 1:09:16
  accountability. Accountability.
• 1:09:18
  Exactly. People like to say I'm sorry, I
• 1:09:22
  apologize for to accept the responsibility, but now the
• 1:09:26
  accountability is are you going to do it again?
• 1:09:30
  That's the difference. So I can hold you responsible.
• 1:09:35
  Good, you accept the responsibility, but now can I
• 1:09:37
  hold you accountable to not do it again?
• 1:09:41
  And if you do it again, I get to point that out, Hey, you're
• 1:09:44
  doing that behave, you're doing that behavior.
• 1:09:46
  You do it again and that's where it comes into correction.
• 1:09:49
  That's where it comes into correction exactly.
• 1:09:52
  Well, also what people take out of it is the one biggest thing
• 1:09:54
  of all love that part. Everything must be done in love.
• 1:09:59
  Well, ego, there's no. Love in ego.
• 1:10:01
  The ego can't. The ego can't give you love
• 1:10:03
  though. And here's the thing, the Eagle
• 1:10:06
  is nothing but a spirit of operation you put on yourself.
• 1:10:08
  It came into agreement with when you was doing the things you was
• 1:10:11
  doing and it's protecting so. Emotional protection.
• 1:10:15
  So in other words, for somebody, this is how you got to have the
• 1:10:18
  God, you got to see God's eyes. You got to see things with God's
• 1:10:21
  eyes. People are not people that are
• 1:10:24
  born and put it this way gang banger, prime example gang
• 1:10:28
  banger come out quit blood walking whatever he doing right
• 1:10:31
  all right, he didn't come out the womb with a 40 in his hands.
• 1:10:33
  How about saying what's up G going ahead and cut this
• 1:10:35
  umbilical cord. No, he did not do that.
• 1:10:38
  It's impossible for him to do that.
• 1:10:40
  You know, see, he's a baby saying Gaga Google don't know
• 1:10:43
  much crying because it's cold or he you know, he was he was
• 1:10:47
  needed his mom, these things. Everybody came from that.
• 1:10:51
  Regardless, I still remember what Similac tastes like because
• 1:10:55
  my Mama used to feed it to me. So I'll get my memory to go back
• 1:10:58
  to the understanding like, wow, I was really as a kid as a baby.
• 1:11:02
  I can remember a lot of these experiences and say that you
• 1:11:04
  know what, that's innocent. I wasn't, I wasn't in my head
• 1:11:10
  trying to, you know, flex. So the whole point is the spirit
• 1:11:14
  of operations we put on us coming up, the personas we put
• 1:11:18
  on us coming up. Now we got to get deliverance to
• 1:11:21
  get that stuff taken off of us so we can get back to the roots
• 1:11:24
  of who God called us to be. Like I said, let's go back to
• 1:11:28
  kindergarten. That's exactly that's Go back to
• 1:11:32
  kindergarten. Hey, I went back to two years
• 1:11:34
  old and and, and the identity that I landed on as a 2 year
• 1:11:39
  old. My guy, I'm unsafe.
• 1:11:43
  I'm unsafe and I'm lost in relationship between my mom and
• 1:11:46
  my grandmother and I never ever ever want to feel that pain of
• 1:11:50
  disappointment again between those two.
• 1:11:52
  My I couldn't tell it was my identity.
• 1:11:56
  The thing about mine was my house is a little bit more
• 1:11:59
  vicious. At 3:00, you have, I left the
• 1:12:03
  book in your chat. You just need to read the book
• 1:12:06
  and find out what happened to me because I'm not saying that on
• 1:12:08
  this camera. But all I'm going to tell you is
• 1:12:11
  my identity 3 was shocked and shut down in the most horrifying
• 1:12:15
  way possible. And that brought me up to a
• 1:12:18
  degree with a spirit that has been agreeing with me for so
• 1:12:20
  long due to, you know, still to this day, up to this day, I just
• 1:12:24
  now understand what it is to have peace in that area because
• 1:12:29
  I took this demon on and I agreed with him.
• 1:12:32
  And you watch any, if you watch any horror movie, right?
• 1:12:35
  I watch horror movies that don't bother me.
• 1:12:37
  Nothing. I ain't scared of it.
• 1:12:38
  I know who my savior is. And I just watched him to know
• 1:12:40
  that if that comes in my house, I don't want it there.
• 1:12:43
  And if you're doing that in front of me, I don't want no
• 1:12:45
  part of it. So I can keep a eyesight,
• 1:12:47
  eyesight of where I'm at. And if I see a house that looks
• 1:12:49
  not right, I'm not going in it, you know, So that's why I watch
• 1:12:53
  horror movies. I educated, I don't want from
• 1:12:56
  it. I go into it, but like, oh, so
• 1:12:58
  that's why. Oh well, you did that yourself.
• 1:13:00
  You said those words. That's why The thing is coming
• 1:13:02
  after you. You, that's your fault.
• 1:13:05
  You know what I'm saying? That's the way I think about it.
• 1:13:06
  And the only thing about it doesn't face who I am.
• 1:13:08
  I still got a good heart. I still believe in Jesus Christ
• 1:13:12
  as my Savior. I still show love.
• 1:13:14
  I would help anybody. I get the shirt off my back if I
• 1:13:16
  can't, you know what I'm saying? And that's just the way I am.
• 1:13:19
  That's the way He made me to be. That's part of my beat attitudes
• 1:13:21
  and makeup. But going back to seeing the
• 1:13:24
  spirits that we come into agreement with, that makes you
• 1:13:28
  look at the people a whole lot different, right?
• 1:13:32
  Right. So my ex wasn't being
• 1:13:34
  treacherous because she was smearing my name all across the
• 1:13:37
  church. That ain't it.
• 1:13:39
  It was actually the spirit of agreement because she was
• 1:13:43
  dealing with broken heartedness and she came into agreement with
• 1:13:46
  it. And any movie, any horror movie,
• 1:13:49
  the first thing it does, it introduce a entity or a spirit,
• 1:13:53
  a familiar spirit. That's normally the form.
• 1:13:56
  It introduces itself to you and it always comes at your time
• 1:14:00
  with the most vulnerability. Whether you are super angry,
• 1:14:04
  whether you're super sad, whether you are greed, whether
• 1:14:08
  you want revenge, those things. That's where the enemy sends.
• 1:14:13
  It's me. You know that person's in
• 1:14:15
  grievance, make them go on ahead and go make them see me instead
• 1:14:19
  of God, because they're going to go to God.
• 1:14:21
  Go, go, go right there. And then what happens is it
• 1:14:24
  starts with the introduction of why this happened, what's going
• 1:14:28
  on. And then it feels like it's a
• 1:14:30
  comforting experience to have that familiar spirit, a part of
• 1:14:33
  you. Then you start going back into
• 1:14:36
  your old habits, your bad habits.
• 1:14:38
  When these things happen, then they start filtering in.
• 1:14:41
  Now the demons got like a little bit of an agreement.
• 1:14:43
  Now you come in totally agreement when you started
• 1:14:46
  building those bad habits, and now you're there.
• 1:14:49
  Now, it's not necessarily demonic possession, but you just
• 1:14:51
  opened up a portal for it to hide behind your emotions.
• 1:14:55
  Yes, it just attached itself to you.
• 1:14:57
  You don't see it but your count. Exactly.
• 1:15:02
  So your countenance is going to change, your heart posture is
• 1:15:05
  going to change, and guess what? It's going to be hard for you to
• 1:15:08
  change your back. So it says that a brother in a
• 1:15:10
  fence is harder to win back than that of a stronghold.
• 1:15:13
  Right. Because once.
• 1:15:15
  We see that we sit in and our children when Oh, Feron was
• 1:15:18
  lively as a child and all of a sudden he's quiet.
• 1:15:21
  Well, what happened? Oh, he's shy.
• 1:15:23
  Shy what? What?
• 1:15:25
  What if you see is you see that? You see this.
• 1:15:28
  You've seen the change. All of a sudden, Ferran is shy.
• 1:15:31
  What have Ferran become? Shy.
• 1:15:36
  That's the point. Most people don't understand
• 1:15:38
  that a lot of times when we shift, it's because of something
• 1:15:42
  that they weren't paying attention to that was happening.
• 1:15:45
  And the, the, the, the challenges in this though, as we
• 1:15:50
  like to jump into the altered ego, we need to go on ahead and
• 1:15:54
  take away the ego. Strip yourself and become
• 1:15:56
  vulnerable again before God. It's hard to become vulnerable
• 1:16:01
  before God like God don't know God wants you to just say that
• 1:16:04
  he know he knows you already. He already know what you went
• 1:16:07
  through. He already know what you're
• 1:16:08
  going through. He already know what you did.
• 1:16:10
  But until you admit exactly until you admit to him, he's
• 1:16:16
  going to sit there and wait for you to do it.
• 1:16:18
  And the more you keep 30 yourself because you have not
• 1:16:22
  stripped yourself down. I said, Lord, I did that.
• 1:16:27
  That was me. Lord, help me for creating this
• 1:16:31
  entity that I should have never created in the 1st place.
• 1:16:34
  Lord, forgive me for the way I was.
• 1:16:36
  A lot of people when they say they say they're not really
• 1:16:38
  truly saved because here's what they're doing, they say they
• 1:16:40
  forgive. You know, you're asking for
• 1:16:42
  God's forgiveness and you're saying that I repent for all my
• 1:16:44
  old sins. But then you put the stuff right
• 1:16:47
  back on you. So I got a question.
• 1:16:49
  You know what I'm saying? Even though it's declared, yeah,
• 1:16:51
  you can declare your faith, that'll never change because
• 1:16:53
  once it is, it is. But you're welcome to a lot
• 1:16:56
  harder if you ain't real with it.
• 1:16:58
  That's that's the and So what do you the the fruit that you
• 1:17:01
  produce is going to be? Is this what you're going to?
• 1:17:04
  It's going to show itself. That's the reason why it takes
• 1:17:08
  very much a lot of training in the world to understand who God
• 1:17:11
  is in your life. Your prayer life got to be
• 1:17:14
  strong. My prayer life is just not
• 1:17:15
  getting it. It's intermediate, you know what
• 1:17:18
  I'm saying? I say it's intermediate because
• 1:17:19
  it's I know how to say God. I need something when I talk to
• 1:17:22
  him personally, but I don't know how to intercess.
• 1:17:25
  I don't know how to say in the name of Jesus and I don't really
• 1:17:28
  know how to. I just know how to pray.
• 1:17:30
  And it was instead of God. I'm talking to you right now
• 1:17:34
  about asking and I'm asking you for this, that and the other
• 1:17:38
  Lord. Could you please help me, Lord,
• 1:17:40
  because I know you can do it because you are the Almighty.
• 1:17:43
  That's it. Of course, it doesn't sound all
• 1:17:47
  super religious like most people do, you know, start speaking the
• 1:17:50
  tongue and all of that. But at the same time, every time
• 1:17:53
  I have declared something to God or I've asked for prayer for
• 1:17:56
  something to God, God has answered.
• 1:17:59
  And when he's done, that's how I know he can hear me.
• 1:18:02
  So overall, the whole point of the duel of the duel, stop
• 1:18:08
  dueling embrace because what you're doing is you're dwelling
• 1:18:13
  the entity that you created that's actually protecting the
• 1:18:16
  weaknesses of you. You're not embracing your
• 1:18:19
  weaknesses in your. Pain.
• 1:18:20
  So you're saying embrace the ego?
• 1:18:22
  Yeah, and eradicate the ego by embracing the other half of
• 1:18:26
  yourself. I feel that's what I'm that's
• 1:18:29
  hurting. I I exactly.
• 1:18:31
  That's that other that's embracing.
• 1:18:33
  The other stuff. Embracing that hurt.
• 1:18:35
  Embracing those childhood fractures when I am, when I
• 1:18:38
  embraced those different wounds and I owned them and then I did
• 1:18:43
  the work around, it was like, man.
• 1:18:45
  Then I realized they weren't even real.
• 1:18:46
  They weren't even. I was never abandoned.
• 1:18:50
  I was I. Was I look back, I look back at
• 1:18:53
  all of that, all the stuff that happened to me actually
• 1:18:55
  happened. But the one thing about me was
• 1:18:57
  how I felt about it, right? I went back to, I went back to
• 1:19:01
  saying I don't have to feel that way no more because all of it
• 1:19:04
  has been reconciled. Right now I would say 90% isn't
• 1:19:09
  reconciled. The homies, they used to beat me
• 1:19:10
  up in the hood, they give me respect.
• 1:19:12
  They say what's up? You know what I'm saying?
• 1:19:14
  We 40 something years old, our Cracker Barrel would have been
• 1:19:16
  talking. You know what I'm saying?
• 1:19:18
  I'm more about God than they had words.
• 1:19:20
  That's that period. Yeah, exactly.
• 1:19:23
  You know, I mean, I talk to them and a lot of them don't really
• 1:19:26
  remember all the stuff they was doing.
• 1:19:28
  Exactly. You see what I'm saying that.
• 1:19:30
  Was the key though, when I went to go back at 40 to heal my
• 1:19:33
  past, I called, I called friends and asked to forgive me for my
• 1:19:38
  behavior and, and, and some of the stories that I remember and
• 1:19:40
  they would be like, what are you talking about, bro?
• 1:19:42
  Like that? I don't remember that.
• 1:19:45
  I remember this. And I was like, oh, shoot.
• 1:19:48
  That's when I started to understand that a lot of the
• 1:19:51
  stuff that I made-up is was it lived over here and even lived
• 1:19:55
  out there. It still lived over here in my
• 1:19:57
  mind. Is that?
• 1:20:00
  And a lot of things that I saw too that I thought were good
• 1:20:02
  back in the day, technically I was in the middle of something I
• 1:20:05
  wasn't supposed to be in the middle of.
• 1:20:08
  And then I came to realization with that too.
• 1:20:10
  See, when you start covering the realization with yourself and
• 1:20:12
  you start realizing where your weaknesses and your strengths
• 1:20:15
  are, some of them are misplaced based on what happened to you.
• 1:20:17
  But once you take away the trauma and sort through the
• 1:20:21
  damage, sort through the damage, you start putting yourself back
• 1:20:25
  together. You start rewiring yourself.
• 1:20:28
  You know, my friend was talking to me about a lot about that.
• 1:20:31
  And my friend was like, she really is like really cool.
• 1:20:34
  Like yo, I'm crushing right now because she helped me put myself
• 1:20:38
  together. Like in a matter of a matter of
• 1:20:41
  a few days, she helped me put myself together.
• 1:20:44
  And it's amazing because it's just like, yo, so I don't have
• 1:20:48
  to. Am I supposed to?
• 1:20:50
  And really, now I get it. Oh my God, I feel like an idiot
• 1:20:56
  there. You know what I'm saying?
• 1:20:57
  Like. I'm like, I feel like that was
• 1:21:00
  it, That was it. She was like, Ding, Ding, did
• 1:21:03
  you not see that? I'm like, no, I did it.
• 1:21:06
  Oh my goodness, bro. Oh my.
• 1:21:09
  Every two sources in. My personal development classes
• 1:21:12
  bro. When I discover those things,
• 1:21:15
  all I could do is laugh. Like you got to be kidding me
• 1:21:18
  like that. That's what that was. 1 little
• 1:21:21
  fractured emotional piece of the story.
• 1:21:28
  That. Was out of out of context or out
• 1:21:31
  of line or I said that that's not what happened.
• 1:21:34
  What happened was this. What I made it mean was this.
• 1:21:37
  Those are two separate things of what happened, what I made it
• 1:21:40
  mean two separate things. Yes, it's it's stripped out.
• 1:21:45
  When you really go back to yourself, you start putting
• 1:21:48
  yourself back together, you start seeing where your mistakes
• 1:21:51
  are and then you got you got somebody who can see who you
• 1:21:55
  are. That's another thing, Somebody
• 1:21:57
  who really can see who you are and not be on the bias on the
• 1:22:00
  trend or the outside or the image, they can see who you are.
• 1:22:05
  It points out easy for the outside looking in.
• 1:22:07
  So it's like a mirror on steroids.
• 1:22:10
  So you can actually see a lot about yourself and put yourself
• 1:22:12
  out together. It's like, no, I totally slipped
• 1:22:14
  on that part. Oh man, you know what?
• 1:22:16
  I and I still think this person to this day because of the fact
• 1:22:19
  she was awesome in every category.
• 1:22:23
  Awesome. And the one thing about it was I
• 1:22:26
  look at that and I just say I'm a little bit more put together,
• 1:22:29
  more confident. OK, Yeah.
• 1:22:31
  Because that's that's. The result that happens?
• 1:22:33
  Confidence gets restored. Exactly.
• 1:22:36
  So when your confidence gets restored, now you start walking
• 1:22:39
  in who you are. Back to the Beatitudes.
• 1:22:44
  Yeah, today. Back to the Beatitudes.
• 1:22:48
  Back to now. It's the old version of who you
• 1:22:51
  were in kindergarten. Now you're the grown man of it.
• 1:22:57
  Now you ain't going to be crying over no the girl rejecting your
• 1:23:00
  chocolate milk, but you're still walking with that piece.
• 1:23:03
  Like, man, remember when you as a kid, you that still same dude
• 1:23:06
  today, Man, you're so cool. And then you can say, you know
• 1:23:09
  what? Yeah, man, I kind of grew up
• 1:23:11
  though, you know, and that's where it comes down to lining
• 1:23:14
  off. You're you're peeling away the
• 1:23:16
  ego and now you're putting your your spirit man in place.
• 1:23:21
  So now when you put your spirit man in place, there go you
• 1:23:25
  becoming whole, not just healed whole.
• 1:23:32
  Yeah, under God. That's a different I'm I'm
• 1:23:34
  looking, I'm over here looking because I want to, we're about
• 1:23:36
  to get out of here. So I want do you want to touch
• 1:23:38
  on the different scriptures that you that you put together?
• 1:23:40
  For I was trying to get into the enticement part, that part too,
• 1:23:45
  because the ego entices where the spirit man doesn't have to
• 1:23:48
  entice, it's just himself. So I want to be able to grab
• 1:23:52
  this off real quick before we get out of here.
• 1:23:54
  This is the final part. Go ahead.
• 1:23:56
  All right, so in Proverbs, I was reading 9/18, right?
• 1:24:00
  And I understood all in Jeremiah about the Jezebel script.
• 1:24:05
  So I read that like totally 40 going north, you know?
• 1:24:08
  So I understood Jezebel understood Elijah, I understood
• 1:24:11
  why Elijah went into the cage, but I understood where Elijah
• 1:24:13
  had to get his confidence back to face Jezebel, right?
• 1:24:19
  Well, the story goes right here in 13 through 18.
• 1:24:22
  Now this is talking about the woman, but nobody ever thinks
• 1:24:26
  about the man doing these same things.
• 1:24:29
  Whoops. A foolish woman, a foolish woman
• 1:24:32
  is clamorous. She is simple and knows nothing.
• 1:24:37
  For if she sits at the door of her house, on a seat, on a seat
• 1:24:41
  by the highest places of the city, to call to those who pass
• 1:24:46
  by, who go straight on their way, whoever is simple, let him
• 1:24:51
  turn in here. And As for him who locks
• 1:24:54
  understanding, she says to him, stolen water is sweet and bread
• 1:24:58
  eating in secret is pleasant. But he does not know that the
• 1:25:02
  dead are there, that her guests are in the depths of hell.
• 1:25:08
  Sounds like a harlot to me. We all know what that is.
• 1:25:11
  The Ratchet girls are running around the forever Lona dawns
• 1:25:14
  that move around the Yappa dawns and we talk around the baddies.
• 1:25:18
  They have everything showing out.
• 1:25:19
  We already know what that. But we all but we, they.
• 1:25:22
  Everybody's hurt though. Everybody's flawed.
• 1:25:23
  They became. How did?
• 1:25:24
  Why did they become a baddie though?
• 1:25:27
  Yeah, and let's flip it around. Why did the why did the boy
• 1:25:30
  become a thug? Why did the boy become the one
• 1:25:32
  that passed out the pants off his butt?
• 1:25:35
  Exactly. All the trauma these seasons
• 1:25:37
  that. And when you look at that, the
• 1:25:38
  enticement, this is the difference.
• 1:25:40
  When you are in your beatitudes, you in yourself, that's the best
• 1:25:43
  way to attract any woman. When you just be in yourself,
• 1:25:48
  you being a gentleman, but you're not thinking of anything
• 1:25:50
  in return. You just being a gentleman.
• 1:25:53
  You give her a compliment, but it's off a genuine beauty
• 1:25:56
  because you see she's an attractive woman and ask about
• 1:25:59
  it. You keep her moving.
• 1:26:00
  Those are the Beatitudes. You're long in spirit because
• 1:26:02
  you're not really looking for anything returning.
• 1:26:04
  You're not trying to be seen. You just seen, and then you're
• 1:26:08
  responding to whatever is around you.
• 1:26:10
  That's about it. The concept of a man is that
• 1:26:13
  when a man has to turn into a Jezebel because he's wants to
• 1:26:16
  get out there and be seen, Now you're holding the door open,
• 1:26:18
  you being a gentleman because you know you're attracted to
• 1:26:20
  her. You know, you attracted her for
• 1:26:22
  one reason. She sees the heaviness in there.
• 1:26:25
  And then there are the simple women that fall for it, saying
• 1:26:28
  vice versa, that scripture is not just for the lady, it's also
• 1:26:31
  for the men too. Running your games, spitting
• 1:26:34
  your ribs, all of that is all of that is enticement.
• 1:26:37
  Where is that coming from? That's not coming from your
• 1:26:39
  spirit, bro. That's not coming from God.
• 1:26:42
  That's coming from your ego. You know what I'm saying?
• 1:26:45
  So you said, how would a woman mulatto say I got that big
• 1:26:49
  energy? Yeah.
• 1:26:50
  And then it's the other one that he says Beyoncé is best.
• 1:26:54
  Oh, he's got any ego. Why do you think she was singing
• 1:26:57
  that in? She was singing that in because
• 1:27:00
  it was witchcraft to get boys to think that that's how they're
• 1:27:02
  supposed to bring up to a woman. That ain't got nothing to do
• 1:27:05
  with it. Your Brian speaks for itself.
• 1:27:08
  Your your security, your safety, your man speaks for itself.
• 1:27:12
  Just walk in who you are, just let it go.
• 1:27:16
  It's difficult to walk in who you are when you're living
• 1:27:18
  avoiding shame, embarrassment, disappointment when you're
• 1:27:20
  living avoiding those emotional fractures.
• 1:27:23
  It's that's well, if it was that easy, we we would have, we would
• 1:27:28
  have been healed long time ago and we end.
• 1:27:30
  Up and that's. Word would be a different type
• 1:27:32
  of word. Well, Earth is created from the
• 1:27:35
  inside out if ain't nobody paid attention.
• 1:27:37
  The core is hard and over, but the core is the life of the
• 1:27:40
  earth, is it not? So if God goes into the earth
• 1:27:46
  and made the earth what it is, He put everything in place,
• 1:27:49
  right? And then he took Adam, put him
• 1:27:51
  into the ground, and then he went inside of Adam and pulled
• 1:27:55
  out. Eat, OK, Everything is going in,
• 1:27:58
  out. So if that's the pattern, then
• 1:28:01
  men have to understand this one thing to get over all of that
• 1:28:05
  guilt care and all of that trauma care and all of that
• 1:28:07
  stuff. You got to learn to go inside
• 1:28:09
  yourself, bro. So that means a lot of guys say,
• 1:28:12
  oh, I can't go deep or I can't go deep, man.
• 1:28:15
  That's just too deep, dog. You're too deep, right?
• 1:28:17
  Right. So that means you ain't got no
• 1:28:20
  scuba gear, dog. You can't go down that low.
• 1:28:24
  You can't go down in that church, trucker.
• 1:28:26
  I'm not. Willing to bro It hurts, it
• 1:28:28
  hurts. It hurts, huh?
• 1:28:30
  It hurts huh? So you want to keep your living
• 1:28:33
  the same life that's already hurting you instead of going
• 1:28:36
  down to the source to where it hurts and let God get that
• 1:28:39
  surgery in you to go on ahead and pull all that stuff up so
• 1:28:43
  you can get it out of you, so you can be better, you know what
• 1:28:46
  I'm saying? Like double edged.
• 1:28:49
  Sword. Oh Gee, dual nature there it is.
• 1:28:52
  Double edged sword. Not the double edged sword.
• 1:28:56
  Yeah, man, people can keep pounding their chest and not
• 1:28:58
  understand the the process of Oh, yeah, I did have that
• 1:29:03
  problem. Yeah.
• 1:29:04
  And I understand most men who are narcissistic and who do
• 1:29:07
  abusive behaviors because of the fact that it was done to them or
• 1:29:11
  they're doing it to themselves first.
• 1:29:12
  Exactly. Exactly.
• 1:29:13
  Exactly. So the concept of understanding
• 1:29:16
  is that you got to learn how to just.
• 1:29:17
  This is the reason why God has to be the center of all
• 1:29:20
  relationships. God has to be the center of your
• 1:29:22
  relationship first with yourself, and he's not the
• 1:29:25
  center of yourself. You definitely don't have him in
• 1:29:27
  the center of nobody else. Yeah, no, go back to the dual
• 1:29:34
  nations, man. You're.
• 1:29:36
  Going to have to do Part 2 of this one because there's a
• 1:29:38
  couple more scriptures left. Man, what do you want to what do
• 1:29:40
  you want to leave for the fellas today?
• 1:29:41
  For the men today, man, what do you, what do you, what's, what
• 1:29:43
  do you want them to walk away with today?
• 1:29:46
  I want them to understand that. Give me a minute because I'm
• 1:29:55
  being downloaded right now because it's a lot and I want to
• 1:29:59
  sum it up in one word. And, and, and you know, for
• 1:30:04
  those of you who are watching, we appreciate you for tuning in
• 1:30:06
  today. Again, these episodes right now
• 1:30:10
  are twice a month. So we will come back to continue
• 1:30:14
  this because we just, we just painted the picture for you
• 1:30:17
  today because there's, there's a lot more levels to this
• 1:30:21
  conversation. So there's nothing that you can
• 1:30:23
  just resolve in, in 90 minutes, right?
• 1:30:26
  So we appreciate you all for listening.
• 1:30:30
  Most important thing I'm going to say is Devon Franklin said it
• 1:30:34
  in the sermon, in one of his his motivational speeches.
• 1:30:38
  I had got his book when I first got to LA and on the summer of
• 1:30:42
  2019 he said if we could focus more on being instead of doing,
• 1:30:51
  we could possibly have the peace that has been invading us.
• 1:30:56
  I know that to be true. So I recommend all men across
• 1:31:02
  the nation, across the world, get to really see who you are,
• 1:31:08
  face who you are. If you have to breakdown,
• 1:31:12
  breakdown. If you have to cry, cry.
• 1:31:16
  If you have to ball up, ball up. But stop tipping at the sore and
• 1:31:21
  just start going in to get the surgery done because you need
• 1:31:24
  that. God is trying to tell you to
• 1:31:26
  heal. He's trying to get inside of
• 1:31:28
  you, but you keep blocking him out.
• 1:31:31
  It's going to hurt to let him in.
• 1:31:34
  But guess what? Once you're once he's in you,
• 1:31:37
  you'll see the healing. That is the process.
• 1:31:41
  And in that process, God is going to work wonders in your
• 1:31:44
  life and you're going to see yourself trans.
• 1:31:47
  You're going to shed away that that you are being oppressed by
• 1:31:51
  and you're going to soar. But you got to first let him in.
• 1:31:56
  If you don't let him in, it's not going to work.
• 1:31:58
  And and, and to let him in, you got to be willing, you got to be
• 1:32:02
  that first beat attitude, which is you got to be able to tell
• 1:32:06
  the truth that to yourself that you realize that you need God,
• 1:32:10
  not the religious, not the religious God, but the
• 1:32:14
  relationship. The relationship with spiritual
• 1:32:17
  understanding of God, you got to have it and that comes.
• 1:32:21
  The world has has recognized religion so much that people one
• 1:32:26
  of they were they're they're in the religious world.
• 1:32:29
  They're searching for God, but not the relationships of who
• 1:32:35
  they get to be. That's what I'm saying.
• 1:32:36
  I agree with you because it's the being.
• 1:32:39
  And so. For me, that poor spirit is that
• 1:32:41
  first one. You got to be, but you got to be
• 1:32:43
  willing to tell you the truth, that you don't know everything,
• 1:32:46
  that you can't control everything, that you can't fix
• 1:32:48
  everything. And you don't have to pretend
• 1:32:50
  like you have it all figured out.
• 1:32:53
  That part you can realize that OK, I need God for this.
• 1:32:58
  Part and the one I'm going to help everybody out with this
• 1:33:00
  religious problem. I can't stand religion.
• 1:33:04
  I'm not into religious politics. I say that openly on this forum.
• 1:33:07
  I do not care. I call myself a Christian, yes,
• 1:33:10
  because I identify with Jesus Christ and a Christian faith.
• 1:33:13
  Most importantly, I identify with Jesus teachings, not just
• 1:33:17
  because I go to church and I follow a pastor who reads the
• 1:33:20
  Bible. No, I follow Jesus teachings and
• 1:33:23
  I'm going to break it down right now.
• 1:33:25
  Somebody told me one time the Bible is not religious.
• 1:33:30
  That's the issue. And I'm going to read the
• 1:33:33
  scripture that proves it. It was the Word, the Bible, and
• 1:33:40
  the Word was with God, not with man, who created religion.
• 1:33:45
  And the Word was God, not man, that created religion.
• 1:33:51
  Religion was created by man, inspired by God.
• 1:33:53
  But man is flawed, so technically it's a failed
• 1:33:55
  attempt to really reach God's glory.
• 1:33:57
  Yeah. Still searching or searching?
• 1:34:01
  So therefore, there's the reality, black and white John
• 1:34:04
  11. That deal, man.
• 1:34:08
  I appreciate you man. Again, I appreciate you man for
• 1:34:11
  for encouraging this conversations man with me on
• 1:34:15
  this platform today. So we will be back again.
• 1:34:19
  I'm looking at the 20. Is that the 25th or the 26th,
• 1:34:24
  whatever day that is? 24th if you want to count
• 1:34:28
  NO262626 Yeah 20. 6 We'll, we'll, we'll figure out that.
• 1:34:32
  We'll continue this conversation with the other scriptures,
• 1:34:35
  right? I got you, I got you.
• 1:34:38
  It's deep. These things can't all be wrong
• 1:34:40
  with the conquered of the day. And then we talk about, you
• 1:34:43
  know, yeah. That's a that's a we right now.
• 1:34:46
  We peeled off a layer of that and painted a picture for them
• 1:34:48
  for people to, I think today for me, you got to be willing even
• 1:34:53
  even if you're going to go to mental health, even if you to,
• 1:34:56
  to say I want to go to mental health classes or personal
• 1:34:59
  development classes or whatever that grief counseling.
• 1:35:03
  You got to be willing. You got to look at yourself like
• 1:35:06
  I don't know what, I don't know what this is, and I'm going to
• 1:35:09
  go. And learn about you got to be
• 1:35:11
  good got you that that part. I did that when I was 21.
• 1:35:14
  When I found out I had these issues, I was like, let me go
• 1:35:16
  research this myself. And they were like, you're
• 1:35:20
  crazy. How do you know you're crazy if
• 1:35:22
  you're crazy? I said Because I'm smart enough
• 1:35:23
  and God gave me the the Enlightenment enough to
• 1:35:26
  understand there's something wrong, that I want it fixed.
• 1:35:29
  Tired of living, I'm tired of living like this.
• 1:35:31
  We appreciate y'all for listening to it in today.
• 1:35:34
  Catch us on all the social media platforms if you want to rewatch
• 1:35:38
  this episode, go to wherever you get your podcasts, talk shows
• 1:35:41
  downloaded again, we are out here.
• 1:35:43
  We appreciate your time and you're listening.
• 1:35:46
  Be blessed my brother. I'll talk to you in a little
• 1:35:47
  bit. Yes Sir, God bless.
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