Latest / Black Girl Interrupted Podcast / I am your WOMAN....Not your MOMMA

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I am your WOMAN....Not your MOMMA · Black Girl Interrupted Podcast

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Black. Y'all already know how. Y'all already know how. What's up,
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y'all Happy Monday? I missed y'all. Anyways, Welcome back to another episode
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of Black Girl Interrupted. Y'all already know who it is. It's your girl
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Ash bringing you another great episode. Oh I'm so sorry I missed y'all last
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week, but unfortunately my y'all would just not let me be great. So
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I said, you know what, I'm gonna see them next week. But
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something popped across my timeline over the weekend, and I've been kind of tousling
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back and forth with people in their comments with regards to this topic. So
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I said, you know what, y'all know, I never do shows on
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Mondays. Y'all know that I never jump on and do a show on Monday
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unless it's just something imperative. But I really wanted to. I really want
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to address this because bebee what y'all gonna do. Y'all gonna stop playing with
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your girl, I promise you. But anyway, welcome back to another episode
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of Black Girl Interrupted. Of course, you know, it's your girl Ash
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bringing y'all great, great, great, great topics each and every week.
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I love y'all. I appreciate all the support that y'all give me, Like
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I'm so blessed and grateful to have such beautiful people around me. Happy Black
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History Month, we are still celebrating Black History. So yes, I will
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be live again tomorrow night discussing some of our greatest hidden figures, some people
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y'all may have never heard of. But that's what we're gonna talk about tomorrow
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night. But let's get to the topic at hand for tonight. But before
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I do that, y'all already know I always do a mental health check in.
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Today is Monday, so we're just gonna somewhat I guess maybe make this
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like a mental Monday. But for anybody that is in the midst of a
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storm, somebody that's going through something, I just want you to know,
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keep going, get up, don't give up. You know what I'm saying.
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Yeah, I know life gets hard, I know things get rough,
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but you gotta get up and keep going, you know. So before we
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jump into tonight's conversation, y'all already know what I do here we go.
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Sometimes horrible things happen to good people. Life isn't fair and it can be
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heart wrenching. And if you're having one of those dark days, it's okay.
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It's okay. It's okay to feel that darkness when challenges and issues come
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back to back to back to back, and it seems like something is after
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me, something is attacking me, something is attacking my journey. Look for
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the lesson in it all. You will grow through what you go through.
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The question is are you willing to go through it? When those bad things
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happen? What are you going to do? Are you gonna let this horrible
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situation dictate the way you feel and the way you handle it. Are you
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going to fall over, fall down, fall apart? Or are you going
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to face this issue with courage and with resolution. You know darkness, So
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embrace Embrace that darkness, don't look away from it. Own it. Step
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up to the challenge no matter what you face, start walking. Take that
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step every day, no matter what you are facing. See get up and
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start walking, and never surrender. And remember that even in the most wretched
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times, when you face darkness yourself, no matter how bad things get,
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remember not to stop, remember not to pause, remember not to hesitate,
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Remember to put one foot in front of the other. Take that first stepth
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and start walking, and we will fight. And in fighting we will win.
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And if not the battle, and if not the war, we will
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win because our spirit it will never surrender. And that is the ultimate victory.
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To hold your head high and even in the face of inescapable defeat,
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to stand and to fight, that is to win. Don't allow yourself for
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a switch off button. I know there's always an answer, no matter how
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dark that place. Maybe it's always a way out. You just gotta keep
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going, hold on to that fundamental quality of faith. Have faith, and
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on the other side of your pain is something good. Huh oh lord y'all,
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that was like such an amazing video. Like I say, I always
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try, y'all. My legs are hurting anyway, but I always try to
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find something motivational or something empowering, something uplifting to encourage somebody, because,
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like I said, you never know what a person is going through. Everybody
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doesn't show what they go through. A lot of people are afraid to talk
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about what they go through simply because people judge. You know, people can't
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wait to use that against you. Whenever you're going through something. They can't
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wait to run and tell somebody. So I always try to encourage somebody to
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stand tall. Regardless of what people say about you, just keep going to
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help with those people. People that don't want to see you win are evil,
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jealous hearted, evil spirited people, and those are the type of people
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you definitely don't need around you. But y'all already know I do my mental
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health check in. So, like I say, today is Monday, we
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are at the part of a new week. How was y'all's weekend? You
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know, Happy Valentine's Day to the lovers, to the people that celebrate that
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holiday, I don't, uh, But to the ones that do, I
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hope everyone had a good Valentine's Day. Me and I had a great weekend.
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You know. My honey was down, uh and I got to celebrate
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his birthday. So I had a really good weekend, you know, hanging
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out with him, hanging out with my kids. It's always up fun time
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whenever he comes in town. So shout out to my baby. Happy birthday.
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Bay. You may fifty two and you'll still look good. You're that
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man still gives me butterflies, y'all. But anyway, but I mean for
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me mentally, if if people were to ask how I'm doing, I'm better
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I'm better than what I was. Every day I'm gonna gets a little easier
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for me. I do still give myself the grace, So when I do
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fall down, I may sit down for a moment, but I pray,
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pray my way out of it, and I keep going because I know it's
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not gonna last always. And then the fact that I'm staying in my bag,
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I'm staying out of the way, like I'm only surrounding myself with people
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that pour into me and not the people that take for me. So if
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you're no longer in my life, I no longer speak to you, that
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means you were taking away from me and I had to get rid of your
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ass. So on that note, I'm still doing my mental health check ins.
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Y'all dropped in the comments. Let me know how you're feeling today.
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You know, like I said, it's the top of the week. Everyone
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hates mondays. I know, I understand we always beg and pray for another
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day on a weekend, but let's be grateful that we woke up today because
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some people didn't wake up today and some people may not wake up tomorrow.
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But just give God all the grace. Stop whatever it is that you're doing
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and give them all the grace and the glory because of Without him, you
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wouldn't be where you are to day. So on that note, I'm jumping
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into tonight's comfas because baby, let me tell you this little interview. He'll
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has had social media in an uproar. I mean people tussling, people cussing
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people out in the comments. But I just want to address it. I
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just want to bring it to the table. I wanted everyone's thoughts about it,
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like how do you feel about it? So for most that no Jesse
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Banks, who is a comedian out of Atlanta, Georgia, who blew up
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doing his little skits which I do find very funny. I think you know
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a lot of them are hilarious. And that's no Shade. But he did
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an interview he was on Club Chase Shade, and he may mention of his
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ex girlfriend not being supportive of him. Let me say this, I'm all,
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I'm a thousand person in for supporting your man or your woman trying to
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fulfill their dreams. I am, but I also want to let you know
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that dreams don't pay bills when it comes to relationships. It's a partnership.
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One person shouldn't be doing more than the other. It's it's it's y'all should
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be in this together. So any who, he goes on to say that
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he didn't feel like she supported him because she told him he needed to get
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a job, and she put him out and he had to go stay with
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the grandmother. He said he was giving his checks to her and all he
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wanted to do was get a haircut and pay his cell phone bills so he
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could do his videos. Wo I'm all for that. The issue that I
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have is the fact that she told you to get a job. So how
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does that equate to not supporting I look at this new generation of these boys,
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the men, would whatever you want to call them. I look at
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this new generation and it's sad. And I hear some of these young men
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talk and I'm speaking to the gen Z generation, That's who I'm talking to,
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and I think it's really sad that y'all will sit and depend on your
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woman to take care of you and she works two three jobs. Why are
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you going to fulfill your dreams? I think that's sad. So here's the
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clip, and then I want to jump into the conversation because I'm your woman,
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not your mom. So here we go, and y'all, let's let's
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really get into the conversation. She didn't believe in my dream and my goals.
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I used to want her to support me so much. You know,
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I thought that was gonna be a woman I was gonna be with. You
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know what I'm saying. I did a lot of stuff up with her,
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you know what I'm saying. Every time that I got and while I was
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working, I gave it to her. The only thing I wanted to do
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was get me a haircut and pay my cell phone bill, so I,
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you know, shoot my video. But I felt like at the time that
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the money, uh, it wasn't coming fast enough, you know, it
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wasn't there. So she went, you need you need to get a job,
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You need to do this, you need to do that. Well I
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can't do this no more, so you know you might have to, you
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know, go do something else. So that sent me to my grandmama house,
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you know what I'm since I was stay at my grandma for a little
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minute. And at that moment that happened late late at night, that was
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like yeah, yeah, yeah, Like so you put you out like two
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three the morning. Yeah, I can crazy. I cried like I cracked
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out crying already, Like you know, you know when you're chasing something,
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man, you're trying to make trying to make this shit work. And man,
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imm so let me say this, when do when? Why can't we
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ever get tight? It's almost And this is just my opinion from this little
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bitty clip, because again there's two sides to every well three sides, his
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side, her side, and then in the middle lizes the truth. One
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thing that I don't like is I've been looking at the comments with regards to
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this clip. How do y'all know that this woman is mad? That's the
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thing for me. Y'all want this woman to be so angry and so upset
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that his career took off. But we don't even know her side. We
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only know his side. We only hear what he's seen. Number two,
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her telling him to get a job. That doesn't mean she's not supporting his
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dreams. That's first and foremost. Okay, let me put that out there.
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And seeing the reason a lot of you men are saying, oh,
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she didn't support is because your mama's didn't show y'all good examples of what it
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looks like they're really truly supported maid y'all. Mama's allowed men to lay up
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on them and they took care of them. So that's why a lot of
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some of you men feel this. I'm just gonna go in and see it.
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See a lot of people. They be scared to say a lot of
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stuff. See me, I don't care. I don't mind ripping the band
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aid off. I don't mind shaking the table. I don't mind doing that.
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But the issue that I have is she didn't tell him anything wrong.
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True, he was giving her his checks and maybe she was working again,
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we don't know. We're only getting his side, and that's only from a
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little snippet. How do you know she wasn't working? How do you know
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that between her money and his money wasn't enough to substantiate substantiate the bills.
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And she said, hey, you might want to try something else. That
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doesn't mean she's not supportive. That means dreams don't pay bills. That's that's
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one of the things that y'all really need to that's this new generation of thinking,
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and it's and it's sad that y'all feel like it's okay for y'all to
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lay up on women while we go and we were, and you lay in
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the house and you play video games all day, or you playing on TikTok
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all day, or you on Instagram all day. In order to fulfill your
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dream, it takes money, determination, and dedication. Okay, let me
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be the first to say, do I like working for corporate America? Absolutely
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not. Do I want to one day be my own boss, abs so
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freaking loutely. But you know what, that corporate America job I have to
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utilize to fund my little business, to make it a big business, because
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right now my little business is not enough to substantiate to take care of my
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household and my children too. And some of y'all need to get out of
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that mind frame. Yes you do have to work. Go and listen to
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some of these celebrities that have talked about they work that fast food jobs,
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They worked at retail jobs. Some of them had a full time job,
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but they were doing Uber and door dash on the side. So her telling
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him to get a job doesn't mean she didn't support that means we got to
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take care of this right now until you get to where you're trying to go.
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But the fact that y'all are trying to make this woman be a bitter,
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miserable woman, like, oh, she's so mad, Oh he dodged
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the bullet. How do you know she didn't dodge a bullet? Okay,
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no woman and a real woman wants to lay up under a man that can't
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lead and provide. But then again, you do got some women out here
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that don't mind taking care of a man while that man lay up on her.
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So I'm you know, I'm not talking to y'all that want to take
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care of these men like they're your children. But one thing about me,
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I'm your woman. I'm not your mom. A relationship is a partnership.
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My fiance does music but still works a full time job to support his dream,
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and I stand behind him one thousand percent. I support everything that he
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does, but he knows my dream and your dream ain't bringing in the revenue
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that we need right now. So right now we gotta work for corporate America.
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We gotta do what we gotta do to get where it is we trying
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to go. And that's the issue that I have, Like, I don't
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you know happy? I hope you're having a good night. I sent you
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a text. Anyways, don't disturb me. Right now. No, but
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really don't. But at the end of the day, I'm your woman,
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I'm not your mom. When it comes to a relationship, it's one hundred
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a hundred. You contribute a hundred. I contribute a hundred, not all
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at old fifty to fifty. Oh you do have you do that? No,
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we're not doing that. It's one hundred percent across the board. I'm
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gonna support you, but do know you gotta contribute. I'm not going to
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my thing. Is what I'm not gonna do as a woman, is I'm
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not gonna lay up on my man while he goes to work every day,
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pays all the bills while I'm still trying to do my drink. No,
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I'm gonna contribute, and that should be vice versa. But again, a
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lot of you men, your mamas didn't show you, y'all. Mama's showed
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y'all how they took care of men. Man didn't have to go to work.
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He could lay up and play the Xbox or the PS five all day
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while she goes and she slaves at a job she don't like. She comes
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home, cooks, and he got to speak kicked up. Is that is
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that what we're doing now we being mama's to our boyfriends or husbands. Is
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that what we're doing now? No, baby, uh uh, that was
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your mama's job to raise you, not mine. And I know some of
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y'all men gonna be upset, oh shit bashing. No I'm not. I'm
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just holding youall feet to the fire because what that huh telling him to get
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a job. It is not saying she didn't support. Of course, men
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want that. Women to support them. Of course y'all do, and vice
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versa. We want both. It goes the same way across the board.
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But of course you have to understand your dreams are not gonna happen overnight.
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You're not gonna be an overnight celebrity, Like you're not gonna wake up and
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then all of a sudden you're a millionaire. You gotta work to get there.
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Go listen to somebody, Go look at let me see who was that
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I was watching earlier today? Was it? Dang? Who was that I
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was watching on on TikTok? But anyway, I came across their live and
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they talked about how they work two jobs to get to where they are today.
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Ain't nothing wrong with that, That's the all she did to you,
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baby, was she made you man up? That's all she did. But
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again, y'all, we're getting only one side of the store. We don't
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even know her side. I've seen people in the comments say, oh,
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I'm pretty sure she punched in the air right now. How do y'all know
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that? Y'all? Let me say this, y'all want that woman to be
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like Taraji p Henson and acrimony is so bad. That's what y'all want.
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Y'all want this woman and I believe she spoke out. I could be wrong,
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Okay, I could absolutely be wrong about that. I don't know if
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she's responded, but I think she did. But y'all want this woman to
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be mad so bad. How do you know that they weren't a check or
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two away from a month or two away from losing their apartment or wherever they
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was thinking. How do y'all know this? But y'all are quick to run
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and defend without looking at the overall situation. It's not okay for us to
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be tired. Do we get frustrated, Absolutely we do. Men get frustrated
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too because things aren't moving fast enough. But again, the question in the
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situation at hand this. How were we not supporting you by telling you you
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need to go get a job? I really want the answer to that question.
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How is that not supporting you by telling you you need to get up
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and go get a job. I'm not saying don't keep doing and trying to
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fulfill your dream, but you need to pitch in a little bit more because
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yeah, you're giving me your checks, but with your income and my income,
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it's not enough to substantiate our bills. What's wrong with that? I
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don't understand why people are so upset because that woman told that man to go
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get a job. What is the problem? What is the problem? You
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know, I was having a discussion with a guy on he's got a YouTube
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channel, and so, like I told him, I said, you know,
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she didn't tell him anything wrong. And so his response to me was,
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well, you don't see men put that women and children out. Yeah
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you do. Y'all just may not see it, but it happens. Maybe
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they don't put it on the media, but it happens. We've seen men
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get jealous of women that are successful in their careers. Hello, somebody,
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but a lot of y'all not ready to have that conversation. A lot of
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y'all not ready for that. We've seen men dog successful Black women because a
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woman went and did it on her own. Maybe she did have a man,
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and maybe the man wasn't supportive of her dreams. We see this,
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but y'all don't be ready to have those conversations. Like I said, that's
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that gen Z generation. That's that's the way y'all think. Now you know,
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you got these gen Z women that feel like, oh, a man
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should take care of them, and then you got these gen Z men that
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feel like women should take care of them. Oh, she should work two
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or three jobs and support me while I'm trying to go and live my dream.
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That's not how it goes. It's a partnership. But again, a
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lot of y'all are not ready to have that conversation because, see me,
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I don't mind having those conversations, those uncomfortable conversations. I don't mind ripping
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the band aid off. I don't mind offending nobody. I don't mind shaking
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the table. See a lot of y'all tiptool around these conversations. I'm gonna
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walk so you can hear me. But I'm here to tell you I'm your
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woman, not your mama. That's your mama's job to raise you. That's
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not my job. That's not my job. Your mama push you out,
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your mama birth you. That's who needs to raise you. I'm not raising
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you. I'm your partner. I'm your woman, I'm your wife, I'm
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I'm all of that. I'm gonna support you a thousand percent. I'm gonna
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hold your feet to the fire when you messing up, and I'm also gonna
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correct you when you're wrong. But I'm also gonna hold you accountable. See
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again, a lot of y'all are mad, a lot of y'all are pressed.
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But what that woman told DESSI was no different that I would tell my
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man, Bay. I get it. I know you. You know you're
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trying to get into the music. But Bay, we still got bills to
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pay them. Bills don't stop. Because you have dreams and and and goals
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and aspirations, then bills don't stop. We can't live off dreams. We
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can't live off goals, we can't live off aspirations. We can't take that
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to the light company and say, hey, here's my goal for the day.
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Hey, you can't go to the mortgage company. You can't pay your
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cardinal with aspirations. So by no means am I saying I'm not gonna support
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you, but you have to contribute. You gotta contribute. We look at
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these celebrities that y'all idolize so much, and when they share a story,
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they talk about the struggles and what they had to do to get where they
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were trying to go. Am I proud of Dessy and his say? Absolutely?
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I love to see black men and black women win. But that doesn't
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negate the fact that you got upset because that woman says she's tired. The
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money wasn't coming fast enough because again, the bills don't stop. And that's
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the part that y'all. A lot of y'all are overlooking because y'all are so
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focused, and that's the problem with a lot of these things that happen.
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Y'all be so zoomed then on one little thing, but forget to look at
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the overall situation. So let's say this, So let's say she didn't put
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him out. Do y'all think he would still be where he is today?
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Drop in a comments, y'all let me know if Dessey's ex girlfriend would not
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have put him out? Would he be where he is today. I just
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won't the answer to that question, and I still won't the answer to this
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question. Just telling a man get a job, not support his dreams,
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because again I support y'all wholeheartedly, but again, our livelihood. We can't
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survive on dreams, goals and aspirations. And I think that's the part a
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lot of people are missing because y'all are so zoned in and focus is on
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one little portion of what he had to see. I'm gonna run it back,
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and then we're gonna keep the conversation rule. I'm gonna run it back,
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and I want and I really I want y'all honest opinion. I'm gonna
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run it back. So here we go. She didn't believe in my dream
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and my goals. I used to want her to support me so much.
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You know, I thought that was gonna be a woman I was gonna be
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with. You know what I'm saying. I did a lot of stuff up
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with with her. You know what I'm saying. Every down that I got,
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and while I was working, I gave it to her. The only
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thing I wanted to do was get me a a haircut and pay my cell
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phone bill. So I, you know, shoot my video. But I
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felt like at the time that the money, uh, it wasn't coming fast
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enough. You know, it wasn't there. So she went, you need
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you need to get a job, you need to do this, you need
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to do that. Well, I can't do this no more, so you
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know you might have to, you know, go do something else. So
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that sent me to my grandmama house. You know what I'm since I was
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there, I just want to go to that part. I just want to
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go to that that one little section because he really told off on hisself apparently,
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and again this is just my observation. Everybody used things differently, So
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I don't expect y'all to dissect things and break things down the way that I
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do or see the way that I see things, because and I'm not asking
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you to look at it from my point of view. Baby, you make
30:21
your own judgment. But what I am seeing is he said the money wasn't
30:29
coming fast enough, So he knew that the money that he was giving her
30:37
was not enough to substantiat their their their livelihood, you know, whether it's
30:44
the rent like whatever. You know, he told off on himself. See
30:48
when you go back and you watch things over and over and over again,
30:52
you start to see things a little different. Was I okay with her putting
30:57
them out at two o'clock in the morning? Apps, Now I do have
31:00
a problem with that, because you don't do that at two o'clock in the
31:06
morning. Girl, you was wrong for that. Now I'm a whole,
31:07
I'm a whole her feed to the fight, okay, because she was wrong
31:11
for that. She was absolutely wrong for putting this man out at two three
31:15
o'clock in the morning. She was wrong for that. But again he told
31:21
off on himself. He said the money wasn't coming fast enough, you know,
31:26
the job that he was working, Yet he was giving her the money.
31:29
So apparently, again y'all, the money wasn't enough. And who wants
31:37
to keep struggling? That's I think that's a part that a lot of people
31:44
are missing. Who wants to struggle. I'm not saying we gonna be millionaires
31:51
or billionaires overnight, but I don't want to live paycheck to paycheck either.
32:00
And everyone knows with everything going on in the world, the cost of living
32:02
is is ridiculous now. The cost of food is ridiculous, car insurance,
32:07
the cost of gas, ridiculous. Nobody wants to struggle. Nobody wants to
32:15
go to sleep every night wondering am I gonna have enough money to pay the
32:17
bills this month? So her telling him to get a job does not equate
32:25
to the fact that she did not support his dreams. So I need people
32:29
to stop saying that. I need men to stop playing the victim. Sometimes
32:36
I need women to stop playing the victim. Sometimes, because he knew the
32:43
money wasn't coming fast enough, she told him to get a job, so
32:47
apparently he wasn't working. That's what that sounds like to me. Let me,
32:53
let me, let me, let me see if I could post it
32:55
on the side. Let let let's try this again. Let let let's try
32:59
it again. Hold on, we were gonna try this because hold up,
33:04
wait, let's let's let me see can I can I do this on the
33:07
side. Hold up, Let's let's try this one more time. Here we
33:12
go. I dream and my goals. I used to want her to support
33:20
me so much. You know, I thought that was gonna be a woman
33:23
I was gonna be with. You know what I'm saying. I did a
33:25
lot of stuff up with her. You know what I'm saying every down that
33:28
I got, and while I was working, I gave it to her.
33:30
The only thing I wanted to do was get me a haircut and pay myself
33:34
on bill. So I, you know, shoot my video. But I
33:37
felt like at the time that the money, uh, it wasn't coming fast
33:42
enough. Okay, So let me pause it right there for just a moment,
33:45
because y'all clearly hurt. And this is how I know. People didn't
33:49
really truly watch this video. This. This is how I know because again
33:52
y'all were so focused on the one little part or she didn't support. But
33:54
he clearly said he knew the money wasn't coming fast enough. He knew this.
34:06
He knew this. So it's not okay for us to get tired.
34:13
It's not okay for women and their patients to run out. It's not okay
34:19
for that. Let me go back, here we go. Oh, it
34:23
wasn't there, So she went, you need to get a job, you
34:25
need to do this, you need to do that. I can't do this
34:29
no more. Let me take it back. I felt like at the time
34:32
that the money, uh, it wasn't coming fast enough, right, you
34:36
know, it wasn't there. So she went, you need to get a
34:38
job. So he clearly said the money wasn't coming fast enough and it wasn't
34:44
there. So in other words, you wanted this woman to go word two
34:47
or three jobs and still support your dream and you not contribute anything to the
34:54
household is maybe possibly what I'm gathering. I don't understand. How are y'all
35:05
mad? How are y'all upset? Because she said you need to go get
35:12
a job? He said, she got tired because she told him I can't
35:16
do this anymore? What woman in her right? What? Who wants to
35:22
struggle? Nobody? And that goes for men and women. Nobody wants the
35:30
trouble. We get it, We understand the success and the thing that people
35:37
are out searching for. It doesn't come overnight. It may not happen in
35:42
one year. It may not happen in three years. It may not happen
35:44
until ten years. But in the meantime, excuse me, in the meantime,
35:52
you've still gotta pay bills. These people are not trying to hear that
35:58
you're trying to be a comedian. Then people don't care. Then people won't
36:01
say money. And that's the part that I think a lot of people are
36:07
upset. About. You know what I'm saying, She didn't tell him anything
36:10
wrong. If anything, Daisy, that pushed you out to become the man
36:16
that you are today. Because had you would your would your tune be different?
36:27
Had she not forced you to grow up and stand up and be a
36:30
man? Would your tune still be the same if you weren't where you are
36:37
today? That's the question, because that's what That's what I want to know.
36:46
This woman didn't tell you anything wrong. All that woman said was I
36:52
need you the man up. Pretty much basically is what she said. And
36:55
again, this is just my observation, This is just maya opinion, This
37:00
is just how I'm seeing and viewing. But she told basically, she's telling
37:05
you you got to grow up, baby, you gotta grow up. I
37:13
could speak from my perspective. You know what I'm saying here, I am
37:17
I've been podcasting what for three almost four years. I'm not where I where
37:22
I wanna be, but I'm further than where I was three years ago.
37:28
And I'm still working a full time job. Because see, that full time
37:32
job is funding my little business that will one day, well you know what,
37:37
let me scrash that that will be a big business. That's what's gonna
37:45
happen. But she didn't tell him anything wrong. She did not. And
37:52
this is not saying, oh, I'm bashing men, because I know how
37:58
a lot of y'all do, a lot of y'all get on in your soap
38:00
box and say, oh, she just bash is meant No, I'm not.
38:05
I just hold everybody's feed to the fire, that's all. But I
38:10
don't feel like she told him anything wrong because he clearly admitted and said the
38:15
money wasn't there. But I see a lot of y'all missed that part.
38:22
He said it himself, he said the money was not there, it wasn't
38:25
coming fast enough. We don't even know how long he had been doing this
38:31
prior to all of this going down. But y'all also ready to tussling in
38:37
these comments, and y'alllso ready to tussle with people over a difference in opinion.
38:47
And that's the crazy part. I just don't get it. Like I
38:57
said, I was talking about it, Like I said, I came across
39:00
it and I was just like, you know what, let me let me
39:01
just really tap into this, let me just really kind of dig into this.
39:07
But y'all upset for what. She didn't do anything wrong other than she
39:13
put him out at two o'clock in the morning, two three o'clock in the
39:15
morning. Yeah. Now that now I got a problem with that. Okay,
39:17
I got a real big problem with that, because you don't do that.
39:22
But the problem I do have is that y'all missed the overall picture.
39:28
Telling a man to get his job does not equal to you saying I don't
39:31
support your dreams. Look at Kevin Harden. Look at Kevin Hard and his
39:37
ex wife Tor. Both of them worked. She helped support his dreams.
39:47
Hell, she wrote a lot of his material, and look what happened.
39:55
Okay, So stop saying women don't support they men and their dreams, because
40:07
see a lot of y'all men and women. When y'all get on, y'all
40:10
forget about the people who was at the bottom with you. Look at Kevin
40:20
Hart and how he did his first wife, Kay, This woman wrote most
40:28
of his material, would drive him to the comedy spots, and look how
40:32
that turned out. But again, a lot of y'all don't be ready to
40:37
have these conversations because see a lot of y'all be like, oh, well
40:39
is that no? No, Sometimes you gotta get uncomfortable to be comfortable.
40:46
Sometimes you have to have those conversations that you really don't want to walk into.
40:52
But y'all know me, y'all know I dives in head first, and
40:57
y'all know I don't care how you feel about how I feel because this is
41:00
my own, unbiased opinion. Y'all have one, just like I have one.
41:07
We're not gonna always agree. But I feel like what she told him
41:15
was not wrong, because again, goals, dreams, and aspirations don't pay
41:22
bills. Now, when you make it, they do, but in the
41:27
beginning stages they don't. You gotta Sometimes you gotta do things you really don't
41:37
want to do. Sometimes you have to stay in a position you really don't
41:42
want to be in until you get to the next level. And that's with
41:47
anything, and that's with anybody, male or female. Sometimes you have to
41:55
stay in a position or a place for a certain amount of time until it's
42:01
your time. I'm cool now that black Girl interrupted. It is now becoming
42:09
a household name that people are starting to talk about black Girl interrupted, and
42:15
I'm still working a full time job. I love the fact that people are
42:20
now wanting to purchase beats from my from my man. I love that.
42:23
And he's still working a full time job, and I still support one thousand
42:28
percent. But if I were to go and tell him, babe, look,
42:36
you're gonna have to get a job, like the money is just not
42:38
there, doesn't mean that I'm not supporting his dreams. That doesn't mean that
42:44
I'm neglecting. What he's trying to do is just in this moment, we
42:50
still got a household to mainteain. We still have children we have to take
42:52
care of. We still got grand babies we have to take care of,
42:55
and and just looks and alone, it's not gonna take care of them.
43:01
That's not gonna feed them until we arrive. I wish I could walk away
43:09
from corporate America right now. I'm pretty sure it's a lot of entrepreneurs out
43:15
here that wish they could walk away from their nine to five, But right
43:19
now they need the nine to five to get to the next level. So
43:22
let's not make it seem like working a nine to five is a bad thing
43:27
right now, especially if you're an entrepreneur and you don't have anything to fall
43:30
back on, especially if your business is not where you want it to be.
43:35
Or where you need it to be in order to substantiate your lifestock.
43:40
Let's have that conversation. You know, I'm gonna always support y'all, but
43:47
I'm gonna always tell you the truth. I'm not let me tell you some
43:52
one thing about me two things for certain. I'm not gonna tell you what
43:54
you're wanting. I'm gonna tell you what you need to hear. Get up,
44:01
go to the nine to five. I know you don't like it.
44:05
Talk to some of these small business owners that were able to leave their nine
44:13
to fives after being their five, ten, fifteen, twenty years. Sit
44:19
down and have a conversation with them and let them tell you. I still
44:23
had to work my nine to five because my bills still had to be paid.
44:27
My children still needed a roof over their head, My children still needed
44:30
clothes and they back. My children still needed food on their tables, and
44:38
a lot of y'all men are okay with the women doing everything, and that's
44:44
the sad part. And then you turn around and say, oh, she's
44:46
not supporting me. Make that make sense because the math ain't math them make
44:58
it make sense to me, show me, and then for people to and
45:06
then you know, for the young man to say, oh, we never
45:09
see men put women out or we've seen it. We've seen it. Maybe
45:17
y'all haven't seen it, but I've seen it where a man feel some kind
45:24
of way because a woman's business or whatever it is that she's trying to do
45:29
is taken off, and now he's jealous and he's doing everything to sabotage her
45:36
business. We've seen this, y'all have seen it. Stop acting like Ray
45:39
Charles and Stevie Wonder, because it happens. We've seen men that are in
45:47
long distance relationships and move women in with them while the women while the woman
45:53
maybe possibly trying to go to nursing school or whatever it is, and she
45:58
don't do something and he puts her out, her and the children. We've
46:00
seen this. So again, let's stop acting like it don't happen, because
46:08
it does, and a woman has left to pick it up and do it
46:14
all by herself. So we have to stop pretending and stop acting like victims,
46:22
like men don't do this to women, because it goes both ways.
46:28
I don't condone it either way. I feel like whatever goals, dreams are
46:34
aspirations that you have with somebody, you need to support each other equally.
46:42
I don't agree with women laying up on men while the men go work a
46:46
nine to five while you sitting home. Contribute, contribute, contribute to the
46:55
household. Don't put that all on the man. I feel like a relationship
47:00
that's a partnership, it's two of us. It takes two to make it
47:04
work. But we see this. I've seen women and men both. The
47:15
woman is going to medical school, you know, she's in nursing school,
47:17
and the husband or boyfriend, he's going to school to do something. And
47:22
I've seen where they've supported each other while still trying to fulfill their dreams.
47:30
So don't let that clip keep us divided still, because again, that woman
47:37
didn't tell Jessie Banks anything wrong. She didn't tell him anything wrong. She
47:42
made him grow up. And that's what we're supposed to do as women when
47:47
we're in relationships with you and vice versa. We're supposed to push you to
47:52
your full potential. I don't feel like she held him back. She just
48:00
pushed them out and made a man up. That's all. That's all she
48:04
did. She made a man up, and look at where he is today.
48:12
Again, had she not have told him to go, would he be
48:15
where he is today. See a lot of y'all look at a woman or
48:22
a man removing theirselves out of your lives as a bad thing. Sometimes that's
48:28
a good thing. She made your man up, that's all she did.
48:35
She made you grow up. And I get it, Fellas, some of
48:39
y'all are boys in a man's body whose mamas still coddle y'all and want y'all
48:46
to forever be little boys and don't want y'all to be men. So y'all
48:51
go to women and looked for that. It happens, and vice versa.
48:55
With women, y'all be trying to find your daddies and these men. And
49:01
but when it comes to support, regardless of what it looks like to you
49:08
or to me, it's a partnership. A relationship consists of two people.
49:19
If I tell you, bay, I support your dreams, your goals,
49:23
your aspirations, whatever it is. But I need you to get up and
49:27
get a job because it's not working right now. That's not a bad thing.
49:34
And a lot of y'all men take that as a bad thing again,
49:37
because y'all have seen your mamas allow men to lay up on them. So
49:40
this is what y'all want. A lot of times that's not fair to the
49:47
man or to the woman. Do I like that s him my pride of
49:52
his success. Absolutely. I love the fact that black men and black women
49:59
or women. I love that and I'll never take that away. But I
50:05
will hold you accountable. I will hold your feet to the fire. That's
50:07
one thing that I will do. I will correct you when you're wrong.
50:15
I will correct you when you're slipping, because that's what I'm supposed to do
50:20
as your woman, and you're supposed to do the same as my man.
50:25
If I'm slipping and I'm messing up you, as my man, you're supposed
50:30
to tap me on the shoulder and say, I, I bay you tripping,
50:32
you slipping? Come on, I I that's what you're supposed to do.
50:42
So just because I'm telling you I need you to do a little bit
50:45
more does not mean I don't support your dreams. So stop saying that.
50:54
Because I asked you to get a job, because I asked you to help
51:00
out a little bit more, I'm not supporting your dreams. Who in the
51:05
hell taught all this? Or that's right your mamas that took care of men,
51:13
your mamas that are still trying to raise boys. That's who That is
51:27
sad generation that we live in in this day time. There's no longer partnerships.
51:36
When it comes to relationships, everybody's well, what can you do for
51:42
me? What can we do for each other? How can I build you
51:50
up? How can you build me up? That's the real question? Peaceus.
51:59
Oh wait, colla, I gotta learn how to do it. That
52:01
would go hastus. But real talk, that's what a relationship consists of.
52:10
But a lot of y'all don't know what a healthy relationship looks like. But
52:15
that I'm gonna say that conversation for a whole nother day. But again,
52:22
I salute Dessy on where he is. I salute to my brother. That's
52:28
one thing about me. Let me say that because I don't. I don't
52:32
never rain on another black man a black woman's parade. I'm proud of where
52:39
he is. Okay, let me say that, because again, a lot
52:43
of y'all will get on your soul boxes or she just no, I don't,
52:46
but I will hold y'all feet to the fire though, I will hold
52:51
y'all accountable. But I just feel like what she told him was not wrong
52:57
because he said it himself. The money wasn't there, but y'all still made
53:07
and he said it. And we're only going off of his side of the
53:12
store. That's the only information we have. We don't we haven't heard her
53:17
side of the story. We don't. Again, y'all. It's three sides
53:22
to every story. His story, his side, her side, and in
53:23
the middle lives the truth. But again we're going based off of a little
53:30
clip, a little snippet of what he said and how we felt like his
53:36
woman didn't support him. And I absolutely disagree with that. And it's okay,
53:43
let's get at ga. What's good, my brother, what's going on?
53:46
What's going on? It is so good to see you. Oh hey,
53:50
I need you to hit me up. I need you to hit me
53:52
up. I got some things I need to talk to you about. But
53:54
we'll get it. We'll get into that after this show. But again,
54:01
go back and watch it and listen to what he said. He said she
54:07
told him, I need you to get a job or do something. She
54:13
didn't tell him. Oh, I want you to, you know, not
54:17
fulfill your dreams or whatever it is that you're trying to do. He said
54:21
that not me. He said that, and I'm not saying anything that we
54:27
didn't already hear because he said the money wasn't there, just it wasn't coming
54:34
fast enough. And again, y'all, let me know what mortgage company or
54:39
what rent office allows you to pay your bills or on a goal or aspiration,
54:45
Oh, you know what, I'm gonna be a comedian one day.
54:50
Then people don't want to hear that. Then people say, okay, you
54:52
may be a comedian one day, but we need our money to date.
54:58
And y'all mad for what? What y'all mad about? Because that woman said,
55:09
I need you to get a job, because I need you to contribute
55:15
a little more to the household, because between what you're giving me and what
55:17
I'm bringing in is not enough to substantiate our household. How how is that
55:24
not supporting his dream? Maybe in his eyes, maybe that's the way he
55:30
felt. And you could tell he really truly loved this woman and he was
55:35
devastated that she put him out, that she didn't wait. And he has
55:40
every right to be So let me say that, let me not even let
55:45
me not say that he don't have a right to feel that, because he
55:46
does. He's human and it does hurt when the person that you love doesn't
55:52
support you. It does hurt. It absolutely does hurt. Does it?
55:58
Yeah, it does. But you get up and you keep going, y'all.
56:06
You get up and you keep going. You fight regardless of how many
56:09
people support you. You show up for yourself. And apparently that's what he
56:15
did because he wouldn't be where he is today. And again, I'm very
56:19
proud of it. I love to see these black men and these black women
56:23
women. I love this for us. I really do love this for us.
56:31
But at the end of the day, y'all, we have to stop
56:34
relying on people, especially family, to support us. And that's what we
56:39
get a lot of things misconstrued a lot of times is we just we know
56:45
or we just no family gonna support them, And those are your biggest haters.
56:52
You get the most support from strangers. And that's the sad part.
57:00
It's because we just know, man, I know my sister gonna support man.
57:02
I know my girl gonna support man. I know my man, or
57:07
my sister or my brother or somebody my cousin, I know they're gonna support
57:13
I can count on one hand the number of people that aren't in my family
57:16
that support so her and what she did. DE'SI let me say this to
57:27
you, I wish you nothing but peace and blessings and healing because I could
57:31
tell that little piece it still bothers him. It does. I'm proud of
57:37
where you are. I'm proud of how far your come. But again,
57:43
y'all stop being so quick to rush the judgment without knowing the whole story.
57:50
Because see, y'all are take a snippet and baby y'all are run with it
57:53
and don't even know the whole thing without even sitting down and just really thinking
57:57
about it, just really processing and be like hmmm, hmm, what That's
58:05
what a lot of y'all do. So I'm always supported one thousand percent.
58:12
I'm gonna always support, but do know, we still gotta we still have
58:17
to maintain our household until we get to where we're trying to go. And
58:22
that doesn't mean that I don't support you. It just means, hey,
58:27
I just need you to kick in a little bit more, because you know
58:30
your checks, my check. You know, whatever the situation is, it's
58:35
not enough to substantiate our household. And we see it all the time.
58:43
We see these celebrities. We see our local entrepreneurs that a lot of y'all
58:49
don't support, that have done everything to get their business off the ground.
58:54
A lot of them have worked two three full jobs. A lot of them
59:01
we see that are still working a nine to five and are doing door Dash
59:06
and uber eats on the weekends. I've seen people that worked they nine to
59:14
five, then they go and they do a part time job in the evening
59:17
and then on the weekends they doing door Dash or uber eats, or they're
59:22
doing Instacart to fund their dream. So what she told him was nothing wrong.
59:32
All she did was she pushed them out. She forced him to grow
59:36
up. That's all she did. And that's my teak on it. Again.
59:42
Others may view it differently, but that's my teak. Not asking y'all
59:47
to agree. I'm not even asking y'all to like what I have to see.
59:53
But all she did, she just she forced them to grow up.
59:57
She forced him to be to go over my boy to a man, and
1:00:00
maybe he never had that before. We don't know. Again, that's just
1:00:05
a little fifty nine second clip, a little two minute segment in the interview.
1:00:15
Maybe she'll speak, maybe she won't who knows. Maybe y'all won't be
1:00:21
so pressed about it tomorrow. Who knows. But I just want to know
1:00:25
what does support look like to you? What does it look like? Hm?
1:00:36
The million dollar question? All right, let's get a ga. But
1:00:42
yet she didn't tell him anything wrong like in that movie Baby Boy. She
1:00:51
just forced him to be a man, that's all, and maybe that was
1:00:53
what he needed. We'll never know. I don't know. Then, reach
1:01:00
people, rich people, problems, and we are just come to report on
1:01:06
it. That's all. That's all I do. But let me go on
1:01:10
to my final thoughts. So tonight we talked. I had to address the
1:01:19
Dessi Banks interview on Club sha Shape. Shout out to Club Shay Shade doing
1:01:23
big things. I'm so proud of your uncle, Shannon. But in a
1:01:30
small little clip, Pete Dessi Binks talks about how he didn't feel like the
1:01:32
ex girlfriend supported him because she told him he needed to get a job.
1:01:38
You know, the money wasn't fat, it wasn't there, it wasn't moving
1:01:40
fast enough. I get it. You're entitled to feel like she didn't support
1:01:51
but at the end of the day, you do have to realize that in
1:01:58
order to maintain your life, you have to work. That doesn't mean you
1:02:02
stop working on your goals, your dreams, your aspirations, whatever you want
1:02:06
to call it. That doesn't mean you stop doing that. When you're in
1:02:10
a relationship, that's a partnership. We're working together for Conversations have to be
1:02:21
had. We need to sit down and have a conversation. Hey, Bebe,
1:02:23
I know you're still working on your dream, but I need you to
1:02:29
pitch in a little bit. You know what, you know, the little
1:02:31
bit that you're giving me, and with my income, it's not enough to
1:02:35
substantiate our household. It's not enough to keep food on a table or to
1:02:38
take care of our children. That doesn't mean we don't support. If anything,
1:02:46
I'm gonna push you to your fullest potential. If anything, i'm gonna
1:02:52
hold your feet to the fire. If anything, I'm gonna encourage you,
1:02:55
even on those days when you feel like giving up. But do know that
1:03:07
doesn't pay our bills, and then bills don't stop. Nobody wants to struggle,
1:03:13
Nobody wants to be in a relationship and you're struggling. I'm not saying,
1:03:19
oh, you gotta be a millionaire or whatever. We need enough.
1:03:27
Do I feel like what she did was wrong putting him out at two three
1:03:31
o'clock in the morning, Absolutely, but her telling him he needed to get
1:03:36
a job, and him acknowledging the fact that the money wasn't there, that
1:03:42
the money wasn't coming in fast enough. That right there, let you know,
1:03:45
he knew. So maybe that's where he felt he wasn't supported because she
1:03:52
told him that. We don't know. I can't tell you how this man
1:03:57
was feeling in that moment because I wasn't in a relationship. For one thing
1:04:00
I can tell you is as much as you hate your nine to five,
1:04:04
then nine to five is gonna get you to where you become your own boss.
1:04:10
Think about that. Hmm yep. But anyway, another good show tonight.
1:04:19
But I also want to talk about our upcoming episodes for Black Girl Interrupted.
1:04:23
Yes, lord, we are still celebrating black He's the reef for the
1:04:28
whole month of February. So tomorrow night we are talking about We are talking
1:04:32
about Thomas L. Jennings and Charles R. Drew. You don't know who
1:04:38
they are, look them up because we get into that tomorrow. Like I
1:04:41
said, we are still celebrating Black His three month. Hell, I sell
1:04:45
it. I get up and celebrate being black. Every day we write,
1:04:50
we rewrite history every day. But yeah, tomorrow night, eight thirty pm
1:04:55
Central Time, nine thirty Eastern Time, y'all know our stream live on Facebook
1:04:59
as well as you two, But y'all tap in come support your girl as
1:05:01
I keep celebrating Black history. Yes, I am talking about some hidden figures,
1:05:08
you know, the historians that we don't hear about in our history books.
1:05:15
We're actually talking up to us about some real people that really truly made
1:05:18
a difference in Black history. So don't forget to like, comments, share,
1:05:23
subscribe, don't forget to tell a friend, bring a friend, all
1:05:26
of that. Come on, and let's keep celebrating Black history, monk.
1:05:30
Let's keep celebrating these positive Black people that have paved the way for this new
1:05:33
for us as well as the new generation. Man, Like, I'm really
1:05:39
truly excited to just be talking about Black history, you know, and how
1:05:45
emotional it makes me, not on a sad note, but on the fact
1:05:49
that we have done so much that whites have taken and have tried to take
1:05:59
credit for. Now we're no longer allowing that to happen. My so say
1:06:06
facts. Baby, I'm trying to tell you, let's get it. Like
1:06:10
we getting into it for Black History Month. I can't wait till next month
1:06:15
because I got some juicy conversations for y'all. But I just want to relish
1:06:20
in the black history. I just want to relish in the non textbook history.
1:06:26
And again that's not to take away from Martin Luther King or Rosa Parks,
1:06:29
some Alcolm X or so Journan. That's not to take away from them.
1:06:32
But there are other hidden figures that have been forgotten about that are responsible
1:06:39
for some of the things that we utilize today that maybe a lot of y'all
1:06:43
didn't know about. So we're getting into it. I'm telling you, I'm
1:06:47
not playing with y'all for twenty twenty four, baby, bed when I tell
1:06:50
you Ashley is so far in her bagh, wait till y'all see what Black
1:06:56
Girl Interrupted is by the end of the year, I'm not gonna even talk
1:07:00
about it. I'm gonna let y'all see. And on that note, I'm
1:07:04
gonna bring this episode to a clubs. But I love you guys, but
1:07:10
you know what, let me end up with this because I just like,
1:07:15
I just love this video like so much, so I'm gonna end this episode
1:07:18
with this, Like I just love this and this is like, man,
1:07:21
I don't think y'all understand how much I love love, love, love,
1:07:25
love love love this video because I think it's just a beautiful representation of black
1:07:29
history. Because I need y'all to get hype about black history. I need
1:07:32
y'all to get like when I say I need y'all to get hype, I
1:07:35
need y'all to get hype and celebrate black history because we have done some of
1:07:41
the most amazing things that a lot of people don't talk about, maybe because
1:07:46
they don't know again because they've only told us textical history. But I love
1:07:54
this video, y'all, Like, let let me get into it, and
1:07:56
then we ending this episode with this. Man, I just have to because
1:08:00
I love love, love love love this. But again, don't forget.
1:08:03
Tune in tomorrow night eight thirty pm Central Time, nine thirty pm Eastern Time.
1:08:09
I am streaming live on Facebook as well as YouTube. You can catch
1:08:13
black Girl Interrupted on all streaming platforms. Don't forget. You can follow me
1:08:16
on Instagram, you can follow me on YouTube. You can follow me on
1:08:19
TikTok, wherever you see Black Girl Interrupted, man, hit that like button,
1:08:26
hit that share button, hit that subscribe button. Baby, let him
1:08:28
know that Black Girl Interrupted is coming back for the nine nine and a two
1:08:32
thousand and y'all gonna stop playing with me. And on that note, happy
1:08:35
Monday. I love you, guys. I hope everyone has an amazing week.
1:08:39
I will see y'all tomorrow night. I love y'all again. Whatever it
1:08:43
is that you're going through, pray about it, leave it wherever it is,
1:08:45
and let God handle the rest. He got a baby, I promise
1:08:49
you, but I'm ending on this one. Love y'all. Black on black
1:08:57
black, Yeah, Hey, okay, black black black black on black black
1:09:02
months so black black black and black maskinny so black. I'm wrecking that.
1:09:05
Black on black is black just black wheels in this black, put this black
1:09:11
black, so black on black on black on black and black out the tu
1:09:15
about the roof. When I'm running nigga downs black as the dart slide in
1:09:17
the middle. Let me no truth, Let me no truth. It's been
1:09:20
a row. When the All Black Suple, a couple of white girls working
1:09:23
all black troupe and your man margin all black people colors the truth, color
1:09:26
the truth. You in the mount there and back out your tooth. I
1:09:28
can tell when they're not telling the truth. Talking that ship. Nigga's gone.
1:09:30
What you're gonna do, What you're gonna do back and I'm black and
1:09:32
places brand. It's in the back like oh words are black, like got
1:09:36
your hurt, got your hurt, got your heart still us Some tennessee black
1:09:40
on the curve just for the memory, yet the deceased. When I'm black
1:09:42
out of both backing the beast, what is gonna be? What is gonna
1:09:45
be? You don't want what a black means. But you never seen my
1:09:47
so black. I'm black on black on black on black on black black black
1:09:50
black on black black month so black black black on black maskinny so black,
1:09:55
I'm looking at black on black is black bread black black cla black shrising black
1:10:00
on black on black on black on black black black black on black black so
1:10:04
black black black, I'm black my skinny so black. I'm bringing that black
1:10:08
on black is black bris black wheels in this black with this black kids Shrie
1:10:13
so black on plain like Trayvon with this black hoodie on que p Luton black
1:10:18
rether lu Shan. I'm going the dowon queen and some illegal aliens. I
1:10:24
got a black fist balled up, and it ain't just me, it's all
1:10:26
us so a hundred years of old pressure. I'm about to give me that
1:10:29
black tessela black skined marks on the pavement. Cops want to see me in
1:10:31
a black cage, black on black on black, Master Juba with the tap
1:10:35
dance Guti with the dapper Dan. Tell them kiss my black ass riding on
1:10:41
the diner with the black Max. Just another black man trying to stay about
1:10:45
the cast. Yeah, black on black matter of fact, where the fuck
1:10:48
up? Forty yacres every black on black on black on black on black black
1:10:51
black black on black black. My thoughts so black black black, I'm black
1:10:56
my skinny so black. I'm broking at black on black is black brims black
1:11:00
was in this black put this black black black on black on black on black
1:11:09
black black black black black black black on black black. Yeah, hey,
1:11:18
okay black black black black on black black man flas so black black black and
1:11:23
black maskin is so black. I'm breaking that black on black is black rims
1:11:26
one is black wheels in this black put this black black so black on black
1:11:30
on black on black on black black black black and black black so black black
1:11:34
black and black maskin is so black. I'm breaking on black. Everything is
1:11:38
black brims. Black's back. Excuse me why a longer money blackest mother?
1:11:45
Ye know, blackest three year? How about the blackest three years for one
1:11:48
year? Yeah, every two years, one year, blackest right black