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Wisdom Under Fire: Assume Best Intent · Unspoken Career Truths

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  Welcome to Unspoken Career Truths.
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  I'm Lauren Levac Gilbert. And I'm Cara Wood.
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  And we're here to be the Co workers you can trust.
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  In just 10 minutes, we'll cover the strategies you need, the
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  mistakes to avoid, and the insider secrets no one tells you
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  so you can show up with confidence at work.
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  Welcome to another Wisdom under Fire.
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  Hey, Lauren. Hey Cara, these are my favorite.
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  Awesome. Well, this week we're talking
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  about the phrase assume good intent or assume best intent.
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  And I was actually surprised when I looked at the etymology
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  of this one. This actually can trace its
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  roots back to both the Bible and the Quran.
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  And basically that idea that you are assume good from your
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  brother and give excuses is a phrase that you'll find in both.
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  So it's very warm hearted based in religiosity idea.
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  Where did this phrase first come up for you, Lauren?
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  Well, that's what I was just going to say.
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  I think this one's an interesting one because I I've
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  heard a lot in like my personal life and in my professional
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  life, like in my personal life, like in my relationship, like we
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  always try to say that like always ensue, assume good
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  intent, assume you're coming from a good place, you love each
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  other, even if like the comment came out snarky or it seemed
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  that way like recenter yourself that like it was coming from a
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  good place. And then from a work
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  perspective, I think it's kind of similar like if someone
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  accidentally forgets to include you in a meeting or maybe like
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  sends an e-mail that seems sharp or something like start from a
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  place of good intent. Because if you start from a
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  place of bad intent, it just it puts a sour taste in your mouth
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  and then it can be like emotionally charged.
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  So I really like it. This one I'm like all for from a
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  wisdom under fire part, like 100% support.
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  I think it can be hard to put into practice.
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  That's really interesting. And I actually, I love that you
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  talked about how it is really something that you can apply to
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  your personal life. And I, I feel like because the
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  origin started there, like it is about how you treat your loved
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  ones, your neighbors, you know, the world around you.
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  I should have said it. It became part of the business
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  world like more towards the start of this Millennium.
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  So still again, much talked about term.
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  I heard it first when I started working at startups and it was
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  kind of like, hey, you know, again, we're all one team.
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  It felt very open and I loved it.
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  And then I got some pushback from people that made me sort of
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  second guess the full meaning and application of this term.
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  What? Was the pushback.
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  Well, essentially that when you have bad actors or folks that
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  don't recognize the impact they might have on someone.
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  So if you have someone who might be like manipulative or like a
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  predator in the workspace, you actually don't want to like give
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  them all the grace. So there is sort of, I think a
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  balance to be had when you think of that phrase, like when
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  someone shows you who they are, believe them.
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  And so I think this assume good intent is a great one for how
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  you approach people that you already like work with and know
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  or people that you are working with for the first time.
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  Like that first approach. But then when you start to see a
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  pattern of like bad behavior or like, and I'm talking, you know,
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  really bad behavior, then that doesn't mean the person always
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  gets your grace. I completely agree with that.
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  Like I, I think of this as like the first offense kind of thing,
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  right? Like in your relationship, it's
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  different, right? Because like you chose to be
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  with that person, most likely, right?
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  And like you can continue to assume good intent hopefully and
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  it's hopefully like a safe, happy relationship.
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  But like at work, I would say like when you first start
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  working with someone, I would say it's, it's like the first
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  time, like if, if something happened, but if they continue
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  to repeat it, yes. Like don't use this as a way to
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  dismiss bad behavior. It's a way to approach maybe the
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  first occurrence or to have an opportunity to give feedback
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  recent feedback week. So there could be an opportunity
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  for that. But don't, don't use it to
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  excuse bad behavior. I fully support that.
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  Yeah. And where how it came up when it
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  when I got the negative feedback about it, it was like, should
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  this be a corporate value? And I loved that thinness
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  sparked that conversation because in some ways you kind of
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  do want this corporate value of like, let's all trust each
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  other. And then there was some pushback
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  that was like, hey, we can't trust everyone.
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  And so it's a little bit uncomfortable to kind of talk
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  about that and like realize that or decide that when you do want
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  to like extend this like loving care or like forgiveness or
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  understanding or like benefit of the doubt to everyone.
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  Yeah. And I just want to offer that
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  now there is a way to modify this, hopefully that does kind
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  of include people. And it's assume best intent but
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  attend to impact. And So what is the impact of
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  someone's actions? You can still assume that their
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  intentions were good, but then look at what the impact of their
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  actions had and look at both of those things.
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  I like that assume best intent but attend to impact.
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  I think that is a great edit to that and really empowers the
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  don't don't let it excuse bad behavior kind of thing.
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  Yeah, I brought this one up because it was one of those that
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  I took for granted I like fell in love with, and then other
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  people made me debate it. And so it actually really
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  appreciated that this now has, it's not as easy to kind of like
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  blindly accept, but instead it has some nuance and I appreciate
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  that to kind of carry that nuance.
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  But I actually really love that point.
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  And I know it's probably a topic that we'll cover eventually on
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  the podcast, but like, it's so important to get other people's
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  perspectives who come from a different mindset, have
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  different contexts, have different ways of thinking
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  because that just challenges like the way that you might be
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  approaching things and it could be something that you haven't
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  thought of. So I just really think this is a
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  great example of like, not everybody interprets things the
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  same way, and that's OK. Can I just say, Cara, this is
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  the second wisdom under fire where we both fully agree with
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  the sentence, where all the first ones, we were like very
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  different. So I think it's funny.
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  Yeah, we'll have to start picking some that we can like.
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  Really. Debate about.
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  All right. Well, that's it for this week.
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  Thanks everyone. Thanks everyone, and that's a
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  wrap. Thanks for joining us on
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  Unspoken Career Truths. Don't forget to follow us on
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  share it with a friend.