Latest / Grounded Growth / Sabbath: Why Rest Is Hard and Why Your Soul Needs It
Transcript
- Steph Mic: Hey everyone, welcome back. I'm Stephanie Petrie. I'm Nicole Gerardi. We're talking about Sabbath today. Sabbath and why rest is hard and why your soul needs it. Sabbath might be a new word for some of you and it might be something that you already know a lot about. I will tell you that it is in the Old Testament, Sabbath, remember the Sabbath and keep it holy. Nicole Mic: I'm Nicole Girardi. Steph Mic: So it is a moment of remembering God, worshiping Him, and resting in Him. And not everyone has the same beliefs on Sabbath, so I just kind of wanted to preface it right at the beginning of this episode. Some people believe it needs to be on a very specific day or a specific time. ⁓ And so I can just tell you that my stances, I usually do Sabbath on Sunday. But I am not a legalist in that way. I'm not saying it has to be on Sunday. But there are some Christians out there that do believe that. I just recommend that, based off what we share, this is just from the research and the knowledge that we have. And so if you are interested in more about Sabbath rest, there are lots of resources out there. And of course, always go to your pastor and talk to him about it. And if you aren't religious, That's OK, but you still need rest. And so hopefully you can still gain some things from this. ⁓ Nicole Mic: Yes, So what we want to talk about is a few different things. So ⁓ we want to bring up why rest feels uncomfortable, what happens when we avoid it, and how build rhythms that actually restore your capacity. Nicole Ghirardi: Hi, welcome to Grounded Growth Podcast. I'm Nicole Girardi. And I'm Stephanie Petry. We believe that grounded growth comes from being intentional about compassionate connections that are beautifully balanced while flourishing in faithfulness. Each week we will share real conversations, encouragement, and simple systems to help build a life that feels steady, aligned, and grounded. So sit back, maybe grab a coffee, and join us where clarity meets calm and growth feels intentional. Stephanie Petry: And I'm Stephanie Petry. We believe that grounded growth comes from being intentional about compassionate connections that are beautifully balanced while flourishing in faithfulness. Each week we will share real conversations, encouragement, and simple systems to help build a life that feels steady, aligned, and grounded. So sit back, maybe grab a coffee, and join us where clarity meets calm and growth feels intentional. Before we dive in, if you want to make sure you never miss a conversation, hit that subscribe or follow button. Nicole Mic: well as rest was God's design. So we know that many of us were taught how to push through, but how to not recover. ⁓ so that's where we're trying to get into the ⁓ whole nitty gritty of rest, especially with Sabbath, ⁓ just to help normalize ⁓ what this means, ⁓ how you can utilize it and ⁓ know that we often measure Nicole Ghirardi: Before we dive in, if you want to make sure you never miss a conversation, hit that subscribe or follow button right now on whatever app you're listening on. Stephanie Petry: right now on whatever app you're listening on. Nicole Mic: our value by what we produce instead of how we steward ourselves. So I think this is really where it starts with Steph, why does rest feel uncomfortable for you? Steph Mic: Well, I think a lot of us, it just doesn't feel natural. It feels uncomfortable because we're so used to moving and producing and achieving. We're always doing something and slowing down can almost feel wrong at times. There's this internal tension that shows up when we try to rest or at least for me it does like ⁓ I should be doing something or I could be getting ahead and something else or I don't have time for this. Nicole Ghirardi: you for joining us for another episode of Grounded Growth. We hope today brought you clarity, encouragement, and a gentle reminder that you're not walking this journey alone. If this episode spoke to you, we'd love for you to share it, subscribe, and leave a review. We'll see you next week. Until then, Stephanie Petry: Thank you joining us for another episode of Grounded Growth. ⁓ We hope brought you clarity, encouragement, and a gentle reminder that you're not walking this journey alone. If this episode spoke to you, we'd love for you to share it, subscribe, and leave a review. We'll see you next week. Until then, Steph Mic: That is something I'm so guilty of if we're honest sometimes our identity gets tied up in what we accomplish And so when we stop it forces us to sit with the question of who am I if I am NOT producing? Whoo, that's a big one. Who am I if I'm not producing This is where that truth has been so grounding for me I am who I am loved by and that is God not what I do Nicole Ghirardi: stay grounded and keep growing. Stephanie Petry: stay grounded keep growing. Steph Mic: ⁓ not what I complete, not what I check off. Rest feels uncomfortable because it challenges the way we've been living and invites us into something different. Nicole Mic: Mm-hmm. Well said, friends. And so I think many of us tie our worth to our productivity. I don't know if you do, but I know I do. And so I feel accomplished when I'm busy, when I have checked all of the boxes and still have a million more to go, and that I feel that measuring the good days by output, is more important than the alignment. And that's where you have to change your mindset. And that's where the mindset comes into play. You start feeling uncomfortable when we slow down. And that's really when you have nothing going on and you slow down and it's all in your head. Those are the things that we are trying to avoid. that feeling like rest. has to be earned and so we're not doing enough to get there. So it's learning that worth is not tied to our performance and it's really about slowing down and that's really where our fear comes into play is that the fear of slowing down will put us behind. You know that hey if I stop and I take a moment of rest I'm not gonna ⁓ be able to get all of the things I need to get done or I have you we get the the fear of others are going to be so far ahead of us that we'll never be able to catch up for. that, you know, one of my biggest fear, especially with work was, is that it was all going to fall apart. because I'm resting and the office still has to run that everything's going to fall apart and I'm just not going to be able to be there to fix it. And so that pressure starts getting into the mo and keeping the momentum of I can't rest. can't rest. can't rest. And that's where we have to learn to slow down. So then that way it actually improves our clarity of what we need to do versus, ⁓ you know, keep keep going at this pace. ⁓ You know, high capacity women and believe they shouldn't be ⁓ able to carry more. So they've acknowledged the fact that, ⁓ I'm being used in a lot of different circumstances in different places and that strength means never needing to recovery is not right. We have to recover. Our strength is when we are able to pause and recover and realize that we need to be doing these things and that we can't hold all the pressure. So another thing is is that we normalize exhaustion instead of questioning it. So it's OK to be tired is what the normal is for every mom. It's not normal to be tired all the time. Every so often, yes, we have our seasons. mean, newborn, like, I mean, yes, we're going to be tired. But if we're constantly in that, we have to like not accept that anymore. And joking about being burnt out instead of addressing it is a huge factor because we all know we're there. We just won't accept it. We won't vocalize it. We won't acknowledge that it's the truth. And then we start comparing exhaustion as a badge of honor. ⁓ I'm more tired. I haven't slept in a day and a half and got all of this stuff done. And that's when we start comparing. And that is where our pride gets in our way and that we forget about all of the things that are our foundation. ⁓ And that it's just it's not good. It's not good. It's not normal. And we've got to get out of this, the insanity of thinking it is. Steph Mic: And I think that also it's like a facade. kind of wear it as that badge of honor because you don't know what else to do. ⁓ kind of in that survival mode, and it's just this cycle. And you don't know how to get out of it or stop it. ⁓ you may know that you're to that breaking point, but you don't know what to do ⁓ get You don't know what to do to ask for help. ⁓ know. even just and being vulnerable and trying to get help. Nicole Mic: Mm-hmm. Mm-hmm. ⁓ Mm-hmm. Mm-hmm. ⁓ Steph Mic: and ideas from people you trust so that you can try something to get out. But I think sometimes I've you know I've had friends that have tried something and it didn't work and so then they give up and they just get back to the cycle. You have to try something consistently and you also have to try different things because you're a different person. So ⁓ it's a it's a learning process for sure. And what makes this even harder is when we avoid rest. So we usually don't feel the impact immediately, but it's that over time and it eventually starts affecting everything. Nicole Mic: Absolutely. I mean, burnout becomes the lifestyle instead of the warning sign. I feel like that's really where the avoid being of rest comes into play is, is that we've acknowledged that we're burnt out, but we're okay with it and that we continue to move on and that we are living constantly tired. There's no recovery time, ⁓ constant mental load, feeling like you are always behind forgetting what balance feels like. And. You know, that's a big thing and that we're avoiding all of it. It's just, you know, it's really comes into play and it like gives you decision fatigue. And so then that way then the small decisions start feeling really overwhelming. You know, like you completely like. get tired, the kids saying what's for dinner and you snap off at them. Like that's a sign. That's when we need to know that we're slowing down and things are crazy and that we need to reduce the mental clarity. it begins to get procrastination like ⁓ I didn't plan today ⁓ I have no idea ⁓ I didn't have I didn't know that I had that doctor appointment tomorrow ⁓ shoot like I scheduled this ⁓ and you start getting mentally scattered ⁓ and can't focus on anything ⁓ and priorities go out the window your go out the window ⁓ and your patience gets shorter so that you're irritable ⁓ the people around you see it ⁓ and emotional reactions become worse and worse instead of thoughtful responses to people. And that's when you know that, you have a less tolerance for stress, you're overwhelmed and you're feeling overwhelmed faster that you have to, you have to be able to acknowledge it as a warning site instead of avoiding these things because it doesn't help you mentally, physically, it doesn't help your relationship with your husband. doesn't help your relationship with your children, your work, and that you have to start realizing that you can't survive. ⁓ by letting this lead your life anymore. And you have to stop and accept it as a warning sign and realize I need to handle the urgent things first, the non-negotiables, so then that way then you're not losing track of the vision and the mission of your life and the purpose of your life. And that you start having to look at it and be like, okay, I can't. lose all direction. And that's exactly what happened to me is, is that when I get to that point and that I am on overload and I need to rest, I normally completely just shut down to my body has to force me to do it. My brain won't function. I'm tired. I want to sleep all the time and nobody wants to feel that way. And you're then you're living in a reactive life when you shouldn't be living at a reactive life at all. Steph Mic: When we avoid rest, might still be getting things done, but something deeper starts to wear down. And our souls were not designed to run nonstop. You were not designed to remain survival mode. ⁓ when we ignore that, we feel it, like Nicole said, mentally, emotionally, and spiritually, and we become restless. ⁓ And so we lose joy in things that used to feel life-giving even. So those are those warning signs. And we start operating from pressure instead of peace. Last week, we talked a lot about peace and how peace is actually in Christ. It is not in our situation. so the hard part is that we often don't realize that what we're missing isn't more productivity. It's actually rest. ⁓ And there's this man named Walter Brugman ⁓ He is a theologian and an author of many books But this is a book called Sabbath as resistance saying no to the culture of now ⁓ People who keep Sabbath live all seven days differently So here in a bit we're going to talk about what Sabbath is how to start building rhythms with Sabbath and it is Sabbath rest is soul quenching rest and Because Sabbath is not just about one day it reshapes how you live your whole life and When we started practicing it, I mean it was amazing the difference of the rest of the six days of the week When you start with rest you don't end with it you start with rest it reshapes your entire week So we'll get into that in just a moment Nicole Mic: It reshapes how you live your whole life. And when we started practicing it, I mean, it was amazing the difference of the rest of the six days of the week. When you start with rest, you don't end with it. You start with rest. It reshapes your entire week. So we'll get into that in just a moment. Love, love, love it. And what makes this even harder is when we avoid rest, we usually don't feel the impact immediately. but eventually it starts affecting everything. Steph Mic: So rest is actually ⁓ something that we misunderstand, okay, of what it actually means. We think it's just stopping or doing nothing, but Sabbath is so much deeper than that. It's actually about delight, rest, and trust. So it is delighting in God, slowing down enough to actually enjoy Him and the life that He's given you. So it's being reflective. It's thinking about your situation that you're in and how are you present in it? And what is your attitude towards it? And what are you trying to grow in it? Delighting in the Lord and finding contentment in where you are. It's resting, not just physically, but emotionally and spiritually. ⁓ It is physical rest. ⁓ So we do take naps on Sabbath, rest ⁓ sometimes looks like that you're getting emotional. These things start creeping up of something that really frustrated you that week, or maybe something that you just down in prayer over. ⁓ And then spiritual rest, too. When you are in worship, and you are with your church family, I mean that is rest for your soul. And so the other one is trusting. ⁓ Sabbath rest is trusting that God is still at work even when you're not. Because let's face it, a lot of us don't rest because we feel like everything will fall apart. Well, here's a news flash. It won't. Like you have your limits. Okay, God doesn't and he keeps it going no matter what and will he is faithful We need to trust him that we can take a day to ⁓ who he is ⁓ Sabbath is both a command ⁓ a gift ⁓ the first three commandments when I was studying this ⁓ the first time, I loved this realization So we have the ten commandments right in the Old Testament ⁓ first three commandments are all about our relationship with God. So you shall have no other gods before me. You shall not make idols and do not take the Lord's name in vain. Okay. Verse three, all about our relationship with God. Then you have the fourth commandment right there in the middle and it is Sabbath. Remember the Sabbath day and keep it holy. This one is the only one that's truly about practice. And then the last six all have to do with our relationship with other people. Honor father and mother, do not murder, do not commit adultery, do not steal, ⁓ do bear false witness and do not covet. ⁓ Sabbath right in the middle of those commandments reminding us that how we relate to God shapes how we live in ⁓ everything our relationship to him ⁓ and It's not just about stopping work. It's about re-centering your life. Nicole Mic: ⁓ rest is stewardship of your capacity. think of it as recognizing your limits, ⁓ protecting your energy, ⁓ being intentional your resting and ⁓ understanding that your capacity is not endless. There is a limit to it, and you need to acknowledge that. ⁓ And managing yourself wisely ⁓ is definitely a stewardship of capacity. of that. is also preparation not avoidance. ⁓ So rest is preparing you for what matters. ⁓ allows for better performance for you. ⁓ think of rest ⁓ increasing your clarity and allowing for better decisions ⁓ really to help ⁓ where rest isn't ⁓ lazy, it's strategic. So then that way, then it's giving that that rest that you truly need on there. Rest is also ⁓ leadership in your, in your ⁓ managing when you push ⁓ when you recover, because it's, you're having to ⁓ back and acknowledge things and look at things 10,000 feet above and being able to realize that ⁓ you have to lead yourself instead of ⁓ to things. This is, you know, we brought this up so many times. You have to be proactive instead of reactive and arresting. Resting allows you to do that. ⁓ Resting also allows you to know when to step back. And that's a big thing of being able to say, whoa, I'm a little too deep into this. I need to step back and allow so and so and so and so to handle this. ⁓ It's a great leadership ⁓ to have is to be able to sit back and rest. mean, hustle is not a good leadership ⁓ And people need to realize that because that's where that burnout comes into play. You know, protecting your best energy for your priorities. mean, I can't say it enough and being able to help continue to allow that to lead your life within the intention instead of you feeling that you need to do all of the things. ⁓ I also think rest is what allows long-term consistency. so consistency is such a huge factor of habit stacking and habit tracking and building a better version of yourself and that the consistency of taking rest is what prevents those burnout cycles. It's what helps sustainable growth versus just immediate hustling growth. ⁓ It creates that endurance and that intensity But it just really helps you stay steady in the leadership side. ⁓ And that's what also gives you the ability to build the routines around yourself. So then that way then the resting is part of your routine. So then that way it just comes second nature to you. Steph Mic: So once we understand what rest actually is, the real question becomes, how do we actually build this into real life? Nicole Mic: well. I think that planning scheduling is a big thing ⁓ instead. And I think it's scheduling margin in your schedule. So then that way, then you can rest instead of filling every spot. ⁓ I used to have it where I would time block and I would like fill every everything had a a had a spot. And that way, then I knew exactly what I was doing and then realized that I needed more white space in my calendar. So then that way I could breathe and acknowledge what's going on. not overbooking myself and giving me that breathing room. And I think one of the smartest things I actually really did in the business side of things is I have a CEO day. ⁓ And a lot of my business women know I love my CEO day. It's literally a day that I work on my business, not in my business, but it's so different because you're just looking and... you're stepping outside of the business to realize really what's going on. So that's my quote unquote rest day on Fridays with work of being able to really have that planning recovery. ⁓ So that way I can be more intentional at work. So then that way I'm being the best version of myself when I am at work versus being that burnt out self that I was last year. ⁓ Protecting one slower day or a block each week. I mean that's straight up You don't have to have a CEO day. It could be a mom day It could be you know a household day people you utilize that term so often But it's just it's identifying that that protected time for you. And what does that mean for you? What does that mean for your family? ⁓ and being able to allow that slower pace intentionally with it ⁓ That's a hard thing for people that go, go, go. And, you know, I mean, just now I'm sitting here doing a podcast and I have 15 things in my head. I'm listening to kids scream in the background after church and already like want to be able to write down 10 other things I need to do tomorrow. And it's. just clearing all of that out and resting is so giving for yourself to help remove the unnecessary things for you and really giving you that time for reflection and slowing down. ⁓ Another simple practice is reducing constant inputs and noise. ⁓ So limiting your notifications, turn your phone off. I mean, it was such a blessing the week on vacation that I didn't bring my laptop. ⁓ And I have notifications on do not disturb the whole week. So then that way, then it wasn't until I was ready to be able to get onto my phone or whatever I needed to do. So limiting those notifications is such an important thing for you. ⁓ especially if you are taking a day of Sabbath, like being able that that's not a priority that day and making sure that you're clearing, clearing your mind and cleaning, clearing your schedule for that. take taking breaks from information overload. mean, we are constantly learning things on our phones and all of the things that our brain needs to shut off. I mean, think of, you know, being able to just shut it all down and literally just. have a download of all of the brain stuff and just sitting there. And that's really where I think a lot of this, you know, the, the inputs and the noise that we get in the distractions is, is that social media, our phones, our TVs, like all of the things that we have is we have to allow our mind to settle. And if we don't, then are we really resting like we should be, you know, and are then, you know, are we able then to rest and give our complete, ⁓ ⁓ attention to God's word and being able to worship him and really enjoy the Sabbath like we're supposed to. ⁓ I just think that's a big thing. Last but not least, building small recovery habits into your week. ⁓ can't go on without talking about habits a little bit Being able to find your quiet mornings, in God's word, ⁓ ⁓ able to just sit ⁓ ⁓ in everything that we have because of him, and ⁓ able to just ⁓ there in present and in the moment. Journaling is such a big thing. I do my roots journal. in the morning to help me through God's word, as well as I journal at night. And my journaling at night is a lot different from the morning. I really do. There's only a couple of things I write in my journal. The first journal is. Is the what is my small win for the day? What what did I do well for the day to be able to do? ⁓ What was my biggest struggle for the day? So then that way then I can acknowledge what was hard, but then I can be able to move on. And then of course, it's ⁓ my intention for tomorrow. So then that way then I know how I'm going to start my day. ⁓ And then last but not least is what I'm most grateful for. And it's four sentences. That's all I do. ⁓ You know, and but it gives me that time to detox my brain to get me really to sleep better. So then that way then ⁓ I can have better sleeping routines. Steph Mic: I love those evening prompts. Yeah, I like that a lot. think one of the biggest misconceptions is that Sabbath has to be perfect or complicated. ⁓ And that's really not the heart of it. It look many different ways, ⁓ and going to look different for different people. The main thing is that whatever you are viewing as work, you take a rest from it. Period. The end. So I know some people that ⁓ Refused to do yard work on the Sabbath and I know people that love to do yard work on the Sabbath It just depends on what you're considering it to be and if it's work for you or not And so it does take intention That's the biggest piece of this because you have to prepare for Sabbath because it's a discipline and We at our house on Saturday. It's a workday And we are getting all the things done. I'm meal prepping and we're doing all the chores that didn't get done throughout the week and the laundry and the yard work and the trash and we're getting all of it done. And then by the end of that evening, we're able to sit down and we know that Sabbath rest is here. And so we, we really start on Saturday night. if I'm being honest, but that's not how it started. just some things to consider if you're, if you are wanting to start. practicing Sabbath, planning ahead so you can actually step away from the work. It takes some intentionality and I have to pick up my groceries mid-week and I'm shopping for the week ahead, so I had to get into that habit. We found out that, you know, for laundry for us, we had to start it Friday morning in order for it all to get done by Saturday so we could put it away. So it just took some different... ⁓ different practices for us to get it done before Sunday because that became my priority. ⁓ Creating space to unplug from distractions. Yes, with the phone. Also with TV. Like we still watch TV. We watch a lot of TV on Sabbath. But sometimes we might do something together as a family. We might watch something from the Angel Studios Network or we might watch Or we might sit and play a video game together as a family. Or even we love learn something, too, like watch a documentary together. ⁓ But unplugging from distractions, turning it off, putting it away, silencing certain apps, all of those are really good practices. Choosing things that bring you joy and connection. So this takes practice, and you're going to have to try some things. ⁓ you don't know what. brings you rest. Maybe you don't know what brings you joy. Maybe you don't know how you and your family can connect well together. ⁓ But those are opportunities. Those aren't shortcomings. And that's an exciting time for you to try different things. Make a list of them. Make a list of them together. Try them. Rank them. you're going to notice it might be ⁓ frame of mind you're in or your attitude that day. ⁓ You know, this is the type of rest I need. So I know when it's a journaling kind of day and I know when it's a I'm gonna sit here and read kind of day and I know when it's a I'm gonna color I'm gonna just sit here in color outside or I'm gonna binge watch some TV. I mean like it just it depends and so I think that you just need to practice it and you need to see what what it is for you as well as spending intentional time with God. This one's probably The most important because God's the one who designed us for rest. So you want to be in corporate worship. If you don't have a church, find one, find one, be in corporate worship, be in a church. ⁓ and then also it's not out of obligation, but out of desire. ⁓ when I get home, when we get home from church, that's not the last week we talk about God, you know, where we pray and we have family devotion and I'm reading, like I always read something beyond my personal worship time. So it might be a book I'm reading or a study I'm doing or something like that. ⁓ And so it doesn't have to be all or nothing. Even small rhythms of rest can begin to shift your heart. ⁓ Our Sabbath rest has changed so much throughout the years. We started prioritizing church. That's how it started. we started prioritizing church. And then once that became our habit of Sabbath, we added a nap at the end. So we would go to church, we'd come home, and we'd nap. ⁓ And then throughout the years, we realized it was nice to not have to cook on Sabbath. So then my meal prepping became earlier. Then we realized we hate doing dishes. So we don't do dishes. And this will give Nicole anxiety. But we don't do dishes on Sunday. And our sink stacks up on Sundays. we, before bed on Sunday nights, will put it all in the dishwasher. ⁓ Or early Monday morning, we'll do it. But it does stack up. And we choose to use paper plates on Sundays. ⁓ And then the other thing we noticed was there was a time where my in-laws needed a lot of help. And Sundays was the day that we chose to serve others. And that became part of our Sabbath rest. ⁓ And so you just have to go with whatever the Lord is putting in your path for that time and realize that it's going to change as you change. And it's going to mature as you mature in your spirituality as well. Nicole Mic: So true and something we both believe strongly is that rest isn't just practical it is actually spiritual and with that we want to introduce our verse for the episode which is from Exodus chapter 20 verses 8 through 10 Remember the Sabbath day to keep it holy six days you shall labor and do all your work. But the seventh day is Sabbath to the Lord your God. Steph Mic: This is where we start understanding Sabbath being so powerful and from God. It was never meant to be something we earn. Rest was never something we earned. It is designed from the very beginning. on the seventh day, not because he needed to. but because he was establishing a rhythm for us. And something that always amazes me is Adam and Eve. Adam and Eve were created on day six and their very first full day was rest. Their very first day was rest. They didn't start with work. They started by enjoying God and everything that he had created. When was the last time you thought about that? of just enjoying God for who he is and everything he created. We don't work to earn rest. We rest and that's what allows us to work from a place of peace. And that's been the biggest change for us since we've practiced Sabbath is that the rest of our week is so grounded and it is so much more peaceful and so much more meaningful. And you see this pattern everywhere. Nine months in the womb before a child is born and childhood before adulthood. God designed life to begin with rest and scripture reinforces this in both remembering and observing the Sabbath. In Exodus, we are called to remember the Sabbath and in Deuteronomy, we're called to observe it. It's both a reflection and a practice. was made for mankind, not mankind for Sabbath. It's not a burden, it's a gift. A gift that provides deep lasting joy in our restless souls. Nicole Mic: So well said, friend. And I just say ditto to everything Steph just said, because maybe rest isn't about doing less. ⁓ Maybe it's just about making sure we have the strength to keep doing what matters the most. just kind of ⁓ softly ending this ⁓ episode, I just want to say start with one small type rest. ⁓ Not full life overhaul. You don't have to immediately change your whole Sabbath day. just one small thing. Rest is something that you plan. ⁓ not something you wait for. So peace requires recovery, not just effort and rest is not a weakness, it's a wisdom. Steph Mic: The truth is, is that you don't get your work done so that you can finally have peace. You live from a place of peace, and that is what allows everything else to flow. That's the kind of life Sabbath leads us to. And that's where ground and growth truly begins. We'll see you next week. Bye. ⁓