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The Power of Purpose: How 'The Table' Transforms Stories of Pain · Candid Coach Conversations

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  Hi here and welcome to Candid Coach Conversations.
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  I'm Kimberly Boyd, founder of Live Life Fully,
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  and today I have with me Teresa Anderson,
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  certified Live Life Fully coach,
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  licensed professional counselor,
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  and a published author. Good afternoon,
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  Teresa.
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  Good afternoon,
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  Kimberly. It's ~ awesome to be here with you.
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  So glad to see you. I have been thinking and I remembered back to the growth day.
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  growth day, growth day event that we went to.
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  And on day gosh, yes, growth day.
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  That's great.
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  So was that
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  that was a three-day event, I think.
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  Three or four.
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  I think so, yeah. Yeah.
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  Anyway, so and there was a big group of us that went.
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  And so I've been thinking back.
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  to that last day, day three, and I don't really know what happened.
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  I was not sitting with you. I was sitting over in a different section.
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  And all I know is
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  You were out of there. And I think you sent me a message.
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  I don't have my phone with me,
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  but you were like, I've gotta go.
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  I have work to do. And you were gone,
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  like out. but that
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  And
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  brings us to where we are now and here you are,
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  a published author, but I'm pretty sure the work that you were leaving that
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  you had to go to right away was the book.
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  Yes, it was that, absolutely. And also I think I had a mini crisis with
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  my family at the time. So I needed to go ahead and try to book a plane
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  and get up out of there. But the when I sent you the message,
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  that's exactly what I was thinking.
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  Like, I'm I'm gonna miss the last hour or so,
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  but I gotta get out of here. I gotta catch this flight and I've got so much work
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  to do and I'm so excited to be in this position currently.
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  And it just it was a whirlwind event.
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  that I don't want to get emotional
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  Sorry, I needed a minute. I just going back to that moment and thinking about
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  Ed Milet and everything that he said that day,
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  it still really hits my heart so deeply because he wasn't talking to a room full
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  of professionals. He was talking to people who have a purpose and who have goals
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  and dreams and aspirations. And they're sitting in a notebook.
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  They're sitting in
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  A computer or a laptop, they're sitting in some externalized version of life.
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  And or, and then he finished the statement by saying,
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  or there's they're sitting in a grave,
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  right? And so all of this purpose and God-given beauty that he's endowed humanity
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  with is gone. It's sitting in a grave,
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  never, never to be known or noticed.
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  And I think when he said that it just hit me so hard.
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  And I was like, my god, I've got this book.
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  It's in a notebook. We're br having breakout sessions.
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  We're talking about the big dream,
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  the extreme dream, the one that you don't even really think about
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  or believe that you could actually make a reality.
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  And we're breaking out, we're talking about what would that look like?
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  What would your first few steps be?
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  And every time I talked to somebody about the table or the idea,
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  I didn't even have a title for it at that point,
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  actually. And we broke out and it was just
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  Just
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  like I have this idea, this is the goal,
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  this is what I'm thinking, this is the outline.
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  And every time I started talking about it,
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  somebody in one of my groups would be like,
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  That gave me chills. They said that to me three times in three different groups,
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  and that was for me the moment that I knew:
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  like, this is the this is my thing,
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  this is the thing I can't let die with me.
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  I can't let it go to the grave without being realized.
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  Yeah.
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  So
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  beautiful. Thank you and my wife.
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  I'm so sorry, that was so emotional.
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  You hit me with the with the g with the big guns right off the bat.
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  Yep.
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  Going all in. Yes.
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  my gosh. And I'm so grateful that you shared that story.
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  It was it was an emotional day.
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  It was. And I think there was a lot of realization.
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  I mean, I know too for myself,
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  but I'm like, whoa.
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  Because it is true. And I'm but I'm I'm so grateful for Ed and all the words that
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  he said that day and that they landed so directly on your head and on your heart.
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  because now we do have the table.
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  It's out for the world to experience.
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  but I did not know what sentence exactly did it.
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  like I said, the whole day was emotional.
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  It's I'm I'm glad to know it was that sentence that drove
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  Yeah.
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  it home
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  for you.
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  It was a couple
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  of them. So he did that one and then he also said,
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  You know, that there's a room full of people here under my voice,
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  and while you all have good intentions,
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  you all came to, you know, take something back with you.
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  There's so many of you that are gonna leave all of this right here
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  the minute that you walk out of the door.
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  And he said, And it ails me. Like he started talking about the prayer
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  the night before that he had met God and he just began to wail because
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  he realized and God had impressed on his heart that there was gonna
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  be people in that room that were
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  We're
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  not gonna follow through and whose purposes were were gonna be laid to the side.
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  And they were not, they were gonna come,
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  they were gonna enjoy, they were gonna be fruitful in the moment,
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  and then they would let it fall away to the wayside,
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  and that he was burdened for them and for every person who needed them
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  to align in that moment, and they weren't gonna have the thing that they needed
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  fulfilled. And I think it just the culmination of those two remarks.
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  I
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  was out
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  Yeah.
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  of there. I I'm pretty sure I cried the rest of the time.
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  Like literally the spirit of God came over me and I just wailed the rest
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  of the time. And they weren't,
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  I mean, they were talking about nothing that was even emotional and
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  I was still crying. So I knew I was done and I had to go.
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  And I went to the airport immediately.
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  Yes,
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  yes.
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  So you had some notes and journals and exactly what Ed had said,
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  you know, we take these notes,
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  write down these ideas. So you had them put these notes tucked away
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  in all the journals over all the years.
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  And you had the idea, you get on the plane,
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  you start writing, you get home,
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  you pull out all your journals,
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  and you put it all together, and you didn't have a title.
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  And somewhere along the way, you did,
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  you came up with the table. And so I am so curious.
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  Where did the table come from for you?
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  This whole idea of this invitation to the table,
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  where did that come from?
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  I
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  think it's probably twofold for me because after working,
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  of course, as a trauma therapist and sitting with people in some
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  of the hardest moments of their lives,
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  you always hear this question,
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  like, will I ever be myself again?
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  When will I finally let this go?
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  Will when will these broken pieces stop defining me?
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  When will they stop affecting my future?
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  Right. And so this idea that of the this beautiful refuge where seven women
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  are going to come and they're literally it's more about a becoming than
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  it is anything else but in order to become sometimes we have to sit with
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  the hard parts right and so the idea is more so what I wanted I wanted readers
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  to experience in a narrative form what it looks like
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  to meet
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  fragmentation and then sit with it and then choose to move forward into
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  a future that is to be able to future cast from that moment and from that place
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  and actually see a future for them that looks more like what they've always wanted
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  and what their purpose is and how to define their lives.
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  And so the table was the meeting place.
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  It was like where do we take these two pieces
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  of humanity
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  These experiences, one of deep pain and sadness and fragmentation.
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  And where do we get? How do we get to the future self?
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  How do we get to the purpose-driven,
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  the I'm living life fully version of ourselves?
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  And to me, the answer was at the table.
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  So that's that's where it came from.
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  So beautiful. So did any
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  of the women surprise you or as you were writing,
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  and the women are they're coming to life on these pages,
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  did any of them surprise you?
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  I think they all surprised me a little bit because,
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  you know, not only was I writing from like stories that I've heard and also from
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  my own story, but it was this idea of being able to like really let them speak
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  in the moment. so even like Firefly,
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  you know, like her just nonchalant 12-year-old version of events who's thinking
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  about Cheetos and hot sauce, you know,
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  and doing things she's not.
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  Supposed
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  to be doing, and also like writing in her note,
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  like, how do I go to a magical dinner?
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  Right? The the whimsical wonder of that,
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  and also to see her as this whole being,
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  like she couldn't see herself in that way,
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  she couldn't see how whimsical she is,
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  she couldn't see how magical and ethereal she is,
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  but she could she knew the pain and she knew the rules,
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  and that's really how she saw herself,
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  but to be able to really like see the fullness of her.
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  I think is what what's beautiful about every single character.
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  If I had to pick one that I love the most,
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  it would probably be rubble, just because
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  Yeah.
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  rubble is just an in your face,
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  and I don't care what you think,
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  and this is who I am, and ~ you don't know how I got here.
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  So
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  You don't get to judge me. You don't and it's she's almost like you can't judge
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  me any harder than I'm already judging myself in a lot of ways.
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  And so seeing her also come to this experience of being able to write out her anger,
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  like what is it that you're mad about,
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  sister? You know? It was also so I can't I can't pick one because
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  I had that experience with every single one of them,
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  I think.
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  Okay, so a little surprised by each one
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  and
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  Ha ha.
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  if you had to pick one, your favorite would be Rebel.
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  Okay, so what makes Rebel your favorite?
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  I mean I know that she's like,
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  you can't judge me more than I'm judging myself.
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  Is there anything that like really resonates with you about Rebel?
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  Or do you see yourself in Rebel at all?
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  I think
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  If I had to look back on my story,
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  I think the rebel in my story was really the grit that got me through.
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  Right. And I think that that grit stayed with me for the rest of my life.
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  If I feel like it transformed over time and it turned into these other versions
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  of grit, maybe even grace, maybe from grit to grace at some point.
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  But I do think that that piece of me or rebel
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  in others is it was that defining thing that
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  This is the thing that's gonna get me through.
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  This is the way that I'm gonna get to the end of all of this.
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  Yeah. ~
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  So awesome.
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  So for the readers out there that do not know anything about you,
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  what do you want readers to know?
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  Like who is Teresa Anderson? As they are sitting at the table with these women,
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  what do you want them to know about you and about your heart?
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  I think what I want readers to know about me in particular is that I am
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  a kind of person, I'm the type of human that has probably been where you've been.
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  And and then some, and also where I have not been,
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  I'm willing to sit with you and I'm willing to hold stories,
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  hold pain, and also help you get to the point where you really transmit that energy
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  into something that is fulfilling and beautiful and fulfills your soul,
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  your spirit, your energy in a way that you've never really been able maybe
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  to transcend. And that's something that the tape.
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  Really embodied for me as I was writing it and as I got through it because
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  I had my own emotional struggles with it for sure.
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  A couple of EMDR sessions, a couple of crying to my friends about I don't know
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  if I can do this. Right? We all have these doubts,
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  these fears, these experiences.
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  And in writing it, it was you know,
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  having I know for you, Kimberly,
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  you talk about elephants and how the elephants they congregate
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  and they protect their own, and they're very ~ protective
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  and nursing.
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  Nurturing and they're also a force to be reckoned with.
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  And I
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  Yeah.
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  think that's something that I embody and I want to embody in my relationships.
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  And that's what I want readers to know,
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  that you're reading a book that was written by somebody who understands where you're
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  at, but can also see where you're headed and can sit with you in the deepest,
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  darkest spaces and not look away because I'm not afraid of what you've been through.
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  And I think that's really what I want people to see about me specifically when
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  it comes to who I am as a person,
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  what I am body and coaching and therapy,
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  and also, you know, part of the reason that I wrote the table.
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  So
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  I love it. I
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  do. So good. And it's beautiful
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  Yeah.
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  and it's true. I mean I do I would definitely say that you can
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  sit with people through their pain and in their pain with them.
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  and you are a force to be reckoned with.
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  Ha ha ha.
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  In such a good way, like so protective and so loving and caring.
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  And so I don't mean it as a bully way,
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  I mean it as no, I'm gonna protect and and hold and love,
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  have compassion and empathy. Yeah.
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  Yes. When you said that right now,
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  so while I was doing like digital rollouts for the table,
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  there was this image that I created and it was actually at Firefly.
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  She was at the front and behind her were all six of the other women,
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  almost
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  nice.
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  like like the elephant, right?
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  Yeah.
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  Almost like that was their baby,
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  that was their pride. And the rest of them were lining up to to say,
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  We're here and we've got you.
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  So good.
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  Yeah. So
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  Yeah, I love that.
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  Okay, so I'm sure people are gonna wanna know where can they get a copy
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  of the table?
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  Right now it's
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  I know that it's on Walmart.com,
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  I know it's on Amazon, I know it's on Barnes and Noble.
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  I'm also gonna I'm dealt I'm in the middle of developing an author's page where I'll
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  be able to offer it as well. working with Live Life Fully to get it
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  on this store there. and I'm pretty sure it's gonna be available almost anywhere
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  that you can purchase a book by the end of the marketing rollout.
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  Right.
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  Also it's available English, Spanish,
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  it'll be available in audio and also e reader.
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  my gosh, and as you said that,
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  which is so exciting, and yes,
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  it is available in the Live Life Fully store,
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  so that's llfully.com, as well as the bookstores.
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  And as you were listing those places off,
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  Teresa, readers also need to know what you're currently working on.
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  Like, ~ but
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  Ha ha ha.
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  wait, there's more.
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  Yes, I'm actually working on the workbook.
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  And so I did have a preliminary copy already ready to go.
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  But once it was all said and done and I look back on it,
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  you know, I wrote that workbook ~ probably like seven,
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  eight months ago now. And I just realized it was more of an initial version
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  and I there was more that I wanted to add to it.
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  And so I'm in the process of revamping that.
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  It should not take me that long because I do have a fully functional workbook.
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  I just need to go back and kind of make it a
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  Sure.
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  little bit easier to comprehend
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  in certain
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  Spaces and maybe add some changes to the artwork.
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  So once that's done, I'm going to go through the same process
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  and have that available. And the workbook is primarily for for those who also
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  are in counseling and they have clients who are dealing with therapy
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  or fragmentation and they really want to create a a place.
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  So I really should say, I feel like I'm gonna get off topic here,
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  so I'm gonna go back to it, but create a place where they can hand a client.
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  A book that says, listen, you're not alone,
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  and there's universality here.
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  And this is what it looks like to walk out what you're going through
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  and the pain that you've endured.
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  And also, here's a workbook that you can work out and actually write
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  for yourself what does this story say about you?
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  And what do your stories mean and say?
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  And who were you in all of these moments and occurrences?
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  there's a process there. And when you said why the table,
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  so we talked a little bit about kind of like the generalisms of
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  how the table occurred. But I really do want to I need to point
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  to ~ Fraser's dissociative table because that's actually one
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  of the therapeutic models that also sparked the table for me.
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  So as far as counselors and therapists who are going to use this more
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  for their trauma cases, it has a more specific
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  Purpose, and it'll look a little bit different than the average reader who's walking
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  out their storyline and really trying to find themselves and their future self
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  and future cast. It'll look a little bit different.
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  So it's it's twofold in that way as well.
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  But yes, the workbook is coming online,
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  and I'm gonna get that out as soon as possible.
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  I hope by the end of the year for sure.
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  So great, awesome. and I do
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  I love this whole idea too, that therapists could have the book available
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  for their clients. And with that,
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  what I'm hearing is that clients that decide like maybe they're listening
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  to this podcast or they see some of the articles out about you,
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  that they will pick up the book and start reading and say,
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  shoot, I'm gonna take this into my next therapy session and ask the
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  Yeah.
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  therapist to work through this with me.
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  as well. But then even like when I because you know,
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  here we are, we're coaches, And so when I think about like the stories that wounded
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  us, don't necessarily have to be the stories that define us.
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  And so that piece of the
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  table is really forward move moving it's moving into more of
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  the coaching space where yes trauma had a story but you know healing gives
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  us the pin back and coaching or forward movement or intentional living gives
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  us the map for the future right and so these things can
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  all coalesce beautifully together but the table is trifold in that way
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  Well I'm super
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  thrilled that you've written the table.
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  and so I'm just about finished for the second read.
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  Ha
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  ha
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  And
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  I love it. So yeah, I hope everybody that's listening will definitely go pick
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  up a copy of the table. Teresa mentioned earlier,
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  all the places you can order it,
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  and then of course you can get it through the Live Life store.
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  But yeah, pick up the table. And Teresa,
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  I want to say thank you. Like thank you for coming today,
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  of course,
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  and
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  Yeah.
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  thank you for writing the table,
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  where stories don't have to remain hidden and that fragmentation
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  is actually welcomed and honored.
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  Yeah.
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  Absolutely. Your pain may be a part of your story,
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  but it was never meant to become your identity.
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  And I want to give you a place
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  at the table, everyone, to come to terms with those parts and decide once
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  and for all what is your story and who are you going to be in spite
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  of everything that you've endured.
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  So
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  Absolutely so beautiful.
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  my gosh, Teresa. Thank you again for coming today and sharing with us.
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  I always love chatting with you.
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  And
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  Yeah.
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  ~ to everyone else, we're wishing you a fantastic week.
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  Remember to live life fully and enjoy every moment.
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  Talk to y'all soon. Bye.
• 18:35
  Bye everyone.