Latest / DA CREW Podcast / DA CREW PODCAST SEASON 1_ EPISODE #146_HOST TRIVEDA HARRIS

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DA CREW PODCAST SEASON 1_ EPISODE #146_HOST TRIVEDA HARRIS · DA CREW Podcast

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Meet dak Crew Podcast. We are the change we desire to see in this
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world. If you won't change, you have to be the change. We
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devulop a package that fits your budget. Contact Aea via email and schedule a
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consultation dac Crew Podcast two to three at gmail dot com. We are the
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have seen their credits, course sor the one Sweeze Sweeze. You're good evening
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and welcome to Believe in the Journey Podcast, where I am your host,
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Trevita Harris. As always, I am thankful for each and every time that
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you guys tune into this show. But I cannot do any of this without
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going to God first, So let's go to him. Dear having me Father,
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thank you for bringing us together tonight as you do every time we're on
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this show, and each one of my co hosts and all of my family
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members for the Crew podcast. I thank you for all that you do,
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all of the time that you commit to each and every one of us stepping
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into the journey and the purpose in which you have created each and every one
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of us. Without you, we are nothing and with you we are everything.
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Continue to guide our steps and honor our words and so that they are
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for you and only you. Please watch over missus Jeletta Tonight as she is
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going through something and she will not be on the show with us tonight,
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but you know what she stands in need of, and your precious and holy
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name. I amen, my guest tonight is going to be my best friend
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and my sister, Miss Latania, Little John Lord. I don't know where
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this conversation is going to go, but I am giving you the power to
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guide my words and my thoughts so that we can and you know, keep
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everybody informed and do what your will desires for us to do. All right,
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Hey girl, Hey honey, how you doing? How you doing?
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I am doing great. Listen today I have really and truly kept myself very,
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very busy. It's been a little over four months since losing my mama,
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and October the twenty sixth was really a day where it had been probably
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about a year or so before I had seen her in person again. And
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so when I saw her in her favorite space, and that was Irvan Park,
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and we took some pictures together, hugs and talked and of course she
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had a couple of smart remarks, which it wouldn't be my mom if she
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didn't. So so today it is bittersweet for me. I can honestly say
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that I have held back my tears today. I don't know how much longer
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I'll be able to do that, but I am grateful for everything that has
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happened today that has kept me, you know, busy and not focused on
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the fact that she's not here. And so with that being said, we're
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gonna talk about my mom for just a minute. When you met my mama
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for the first time, I think it was at Scott's baby shower. That's
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not the first time. When was the first time you met my mama?
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The first time I met your mom was when you was living in the house.
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Oh yeah, okay, stroke, okay, yeah, Oh my gosh.
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That woman then was something else? Oh lord, okay, what were
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your thoughts when you first met my mama? Her? And for one,
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yeah, no, no, no, no, no, you hurt and
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micah, Yeah, she didn't have a whole lot to say. Mm hmm.
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But she watched me, and I know that she was watching me to
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see if I was the type of person that needed to be in your space.
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Yes, I could tell about the look on her face. A mother
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knows, you know. I'm looking at her and she's looking at me,
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and I get it, like you know, yeah, I'm like okay.
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And that's really how she was too, Like she did not like people around
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me that she felt like or not good enough for me, and she would
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let it be known. You know, she may not tell the person directly,
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and if she did, she meant it right then and there. And
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you know, she didn't like if she had a good feel about you,
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she wouldn't say anything, you know, because she's like, Okay, I
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see how they're moving, I see what they're doing. I don't really have
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nothing that I could say that in a bad way. But if she didn't
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like you, oh you was gonna know that right then and there, because
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she wouldn't been invite her tongue to not see it. And with that part
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being said, oh my god, my sweet sixteenth birthday party, Oh my
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god, my mama ruined that party. This was the thing. She planned
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the party for me because you know, my birthday's October twenty ninth. Okay,
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so she planned it for me before a Halloween party and everything. And
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the thing of it was like the people that I invited, you know,
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every person that came to the party, she would size them up and then
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she was like, I don't like them. Bang a friend. I don't
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like them, and so like, as the night went on, it was
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like that. So it was it just got so bad that she shut the
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party down. She was like, I don't know who none of these people
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are. I don't want them around you. And then she had a partner
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in crime. I don't know if you remember Jimmy He Jimmy Scruggs, James
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Scruggs. Yes, okay, them two together were in cahoots and they shut
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the party down because they didn't feel like anybody that was there was worthy to
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be there. And so I just was like, okay, you know what,
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never mind, I'm going home. So I walked back around to my
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aunt them on the house and they were like, why are you home so
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early? I was like, Mama just messed up the whole party. I
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don't even care. And they was like, well, what she do?
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I said, she ran everybody off? She ran everybody off. I said,
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So I don't my sweet sixteen is not a sweet sixteen. I'm mad.
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I don't want no party. I don't want nothing else. So I
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don't think I had another birthday party until I was twenty three, and it
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was a surprise party that Brad and my cousin's plan for me. And I'm
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almost ruined that because okay, oh lord, let me tell you what I
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did. Okay, he it was a Friday night football game, sparing House
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football game, and that was one of the things that we always did with
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the kids. So I was like, Okay, I'm tired. I don't
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want to be bothered with the kids. I don't want to be bothered with
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you. I don't want to go. So y'all go and enjoy the game.
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So he's like, no, you really gotta come with us to the
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game. And I was like, I really don't want to go. He
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was like, you really have to go, Like you need to go.
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You need to get out of the house. You've been in the house with
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the kids. You need to go. Okay, fine, no problem.
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So we stopped by his dad's house and his parents' house, and so we
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end up talking to Rising Burke and everything, and I'm like, okay,
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why does Burke have a whole sandwich tray in here? And I'm not thinking
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anything up, but his dad played pe Knuckle on Monday nights and that had
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been consistent since I've been knowing them, like him, since I was sixteen,
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I was about to turn twenty three. Why are you having a p
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knuckle game on Friday? What happened? So I'm starting to ask questions,
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because you know me, I'm gonna ask questions. I'm asking the questions.
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And he's like, well, we didn't get to have it Monday night cause
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such and such was sick and I was sick, and we didn't want to
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wait until next week to have it, so we decided to do it today.
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I'm like, okay, that makes sense. I guess whatever. So
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then we go on to the game and everything, and I'm like okay.
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So we get to the game and he's like on his phone and doing all
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kind of crazy stuff, and I'm like, why are you on your phone?
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Like what is this about? You supposed to be watching the game?
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You asking me what play happened? Because you wasn't paying no attention. You
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don't even know why we clapping. You don't even know why we're mad right
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now. You missed the whole down, Like, dude, put it up.
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So and we on the way home and I'm like, okay, we're
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stopping to get something to eat, because that's the usual what we did.
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We didn't stop for getting none to east. So now I got a whole
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attitude because I'm hungry and I'm home. And so we get home and he's
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like, well, you need to go in first, and I'm like why.
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And so then as I'm going in, I'm like, okay, our
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living room light is on. I know I turned all the lights off.
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What's going on? So he's like, well, you go in first,
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and I'm like, why do I need to go in first? You the
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man, right, But I got the kids, okay, and they can
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be with me and you can go in. No v you just need to
11:41
go in. So I'm like okay, So I go in. Now,
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as I'm going in, I realized that the patio the light in the living
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room has gone off. Now this done really made me mad because I'm like,
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okay, who is in? So I go in with a whole attitude
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and I go in and they, my cousins and everybody come from around a
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little partition that's in the house. And so I'm like they come out and
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yelling surprise and happy birthday, and I was like, y'all, but I
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got your butts be because y'all know I don't do surprises. It was like
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exactly, and you so nosy. We almost didn't pull it off. I
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was like, you're right. So that's why it's like, uh, surprised,
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don't do that. Don't do that because I don't act right with that
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happens. Yeah, I don't. I'm not good with that. That's why
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if you really and truly want to surprise me, you can't do any of
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that craziness because I'm gonna be asking questions and then when you're acting a little
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funny, I'm gonna pick up on that. So it just don't work.
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Just don't do it. But Mama, oh my god, that lady was
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something else with her. Staying with me when she had her stroke in twenty
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fourteen was oh my god, when I say it was one of the most
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challenging things that I ever had to deal with with my MoMA, because she
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was still so stubborn and so adamant about doing things on her own. Like
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she lost the use of her right side, and her speech was really affective,
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a little worse than mine. Oh really, yeah, it was worse
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than mine. And she could not use her right arm, her right leg,
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she couldn't do anything. So having to help her bathe and get in
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and out of the bed, get her dressed, and all of this.
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And she taught She told me she taught herself how to write with her left
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hand when she was younger, because Mama played softball, so she was forever
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getting her falling out of trees, doing all kind of great stuff. But
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she taught herself how to write with her left hand so she could still sign
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her name and things of that nature. But getting this woman in and out
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of the bed, in and out of the tub, and all of this
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stuff. And then I'm like, Ma, you need my help. I
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can do it by myself. No you can't. You can't do this by
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yourself. Yes I can. Okay, I'm gonna let you try to do
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it by yourself. So she tried. She was like, all right,
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come on, so I held on, is any of this sounding familiar to
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you? Just a little bit, just a little bit. I ain't gonna
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lie, you know, it's a little bit, just tad, just to
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tad. Like that's the same like conversation like me and Mama had. And
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I told her, I said, Mama, you are extremely stubborn. You
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know that. She was like, I'm not stubborn. I said, Okay,
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well, what do you define stubborn? She was like, well,
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if I don't want to do something, I'm not gonna do it. I
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said, okay, and that's what stubborn is. She was like, no,
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that's not what it is. If I don't want to do it,
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I don't have to. I said, okay, But that's still being stubborn.
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She's like, no, you not understanding what I'm saying. You gonna
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make me do something that I don't want to do. I said, okay,
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I see it how she's saying it. So basically, what she's trying
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to tell you is stubborn. Is if I tell you to do something and
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you don't want to do it, but you wind up doing it anyway,
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that's stubborn. Mm hmm. The I'm not gonna do it is it ain't
15:20
gonna happen ever, it's not going down. That's what she was trying to
15:24
get you to understand. I guess. But most of the time she will
15:28
still end up doing it. So it's like, you can't tell me no,
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and then you're still gonna do it anyway. I said, I guess.
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It was basically she was gonna do it on her terms, and that
15:39
was basically it, And I'm like, Okay, that's fine. You can
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do it on your times. There's no problem. I'm not gonna be mad
15:45
at that. But you're just not gonna tell me you nothing to do something
15:48
because it's just not gonna work. But you know, her and Nathan had
15:52
a tremendous bond as far as doing stuff that they wasn't supposed to do.
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That's one thing that I can say. He was definitely her partner in crime
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when it came down to she means that it's free will, absolutely, and
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you're right, that's definitely her free real because she was definitely gonna do it
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right. Yes, she was the mama and that was the thing she was
16:19
just that was her and you wasn't gonna tell her nothing else. And I'm
16:26
like, my, come on, we got to do this. But her
16:27
and Nathan we're definitely partners in crime. And I can honestly say trying to
16:36
keep them too out of my kitchen was not easy because they would try to
16:44
convince me to go slay down so that they can do what they needed to
16:48
do in the kitchen, especially after she had started her occupational therapy and physical
16:52
therapy to regain her strength and everything and to walk when that woman told her
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that and got her up and moved moving and using that leg and that O,
17:02
honey, you can keep that woman still, like, mam, what
17:07
you doing well? She told me I needed to exercise. She said,
17:10
take it easy and take it slow. Not that you can be running down
17:14
in these steps like this. This is not what you can do. These
17:17
are semen steps. And you follow down. Now we both gonna be down
17:19
there because I can't get you up right. But of course her and Nate
17:25
Nate like, I got I got granny, I got it, don't worry
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about it. All right, Well you and your granny, y'all gonna batch
17:30
your business incause I'm I'm not gonna do it. I'm not, but you
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know them too, Oh my god. And then her and Kyle, their
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relationship was Kyle was the drama queen, and my Mom would be like,
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okay, Kyle, come on, tell me what the drama is. So
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they would have that little conversation and be so dramatic and everything. Now,
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Micah and Mama, those two personality wise, always ready to fight something somebody,
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and I'm like and still is the same way. And Mama had told
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him when he came to visit her at Peacetreet. She said, Okay,
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now look here, I'm gonna need to hot temper yours to calm down.
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And he started he's telling uh now because he started to say something, Mama's
18:26
like, now, I don't even try, because I already know you're finna
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try to sell me a lie, and I ain't finna go for it because
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I know you. She said, so done, he's talking all right,
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Granny, I hate I got you. I got you. So. My
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related my kids in their relationship. They each had their own special thing that
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they liked to do with my mama, and Mama had them spailled to the
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tea to where if I tried to say something to them when she was around,
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I got in trouble because she like, don't be talking to my babies
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like that. Then my babies, I birthed them. I can do what
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I want. No, you can't. Now when I'm here, y'all have
19:10
grandma right to passage. I guess, I guess you know. So my
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kid, listen, let me tell you something. What I realized the other
19:19
day about myself is that I am truly that grandma that watches Matt Lock in
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the Heat of the Night and all of that stuff. Like I had Sky
19:30
with me last Friday, of course, because you know, that's my sleepover
19:33
partner. And my grandbaby loves to watch the Flintstones and she watches matt Lock
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with me, and so we were down on the floor and I had to
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bust out laughing at myself. I said, Oh my god, I am
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really that grandma because we are sitting here watching matt Lock together, so she
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can definitely say that her grandma raised her watching the Flintstones and matt I ain't
20:00
really been watching in the Heat of the Night, but KI got that part,
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so you know. So, but I had to laugh at myself for
20:08
that particular reason because I'm like, Lord Jesus, i am really that grandma,
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you know, cause you see those little memes and everything that come up.
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And I was like, Lord Jesus, yep, that's me. Oh
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Lord, well here we go. I was babysitting k playing candy Crush and
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her mama looks at me and she said, yep, you're officially grandma.
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She's like, who in your age range just sitting around playing some candy crush.
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She was like, what is wrong with you? And I got to
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thinking about it, I was like, did this help? It just called
20:45
me oh, And then I was like, okay, I like playing bingo.
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I'm still here. You know, it goes out, you know how
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it goes, but we're here. We're here. Yeah. Yeah. The
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grandchildren are are something special. They are. I feel like they are God's
21:14
gifts, like handcrafted, like here, like you get your second, you
21:22
get your child, and then you get your child twice, you know,
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when you have your grand baby, and it's like this is the little version
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of the bigger version that I had, you know. And so it's amazing
21:37
to watch them, to see their little personalities develop and all of that.
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And you know, I watch Kai and I watch Micah, but the most
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funniest thing is to watch Kyla and Scott together. Is because that little girl
21:55
is Kyla all up and down when it comes to how ached she is to
22:00
her mama. Oh absolutely, And Kyle's like, I can't do this.
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I said, yes, ma'am, you can, I said, because she
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is you. And I said, because the way you used to annoy me
22:11
and aggravate me just because you wanted my attention, she does the exact same
22:15
thing. And so I sent Kyler these little videos of how she used to
22:19
do that to me all the time, and I was like, this is
22:22
what your daughter does to you, and it is absolutely hilarious for the simple
22:29
fact of her touching you like this, I said, So it is just
22:34
funny to watch her do that, like sky I went to see them the
22:40
other night, Monday night, and Scott was playing with my hair, and
22:45
so Kyle was like, stop pulling your grandma hair. I was like,
22:48
she's not pulling my hair, she's just playing in it. So of course,
22:51
what does ky come do? Come in my hair? I said,
22:55
So, now the both of you are playing in my hair. I said,
22:57
so she gets this from you, I said, if you want to
23:02
lick my face or smell my face, guess what your child does the same
23:04
thing. I don't know why that is something y'all feel is necessary, but
23:11
y'all do. But it's just it's truly truly amazing to be on the grandparents
23:18
scale. You know, my kids did it to me twice in one year,
23:26
though, you know, And just so it's like I got my boy
23:32
and my girl. Nate say, don't be looking for nothing from him no
23:34
time soon. However, you know, because he got. He said,
23:37
he got his two right there. One day down the road, when he
23:41
finds a woman that's worthy, you know, he'll make that, you know,
23:45
make that decision then, you know. And I told him, I
23:48
can't be mad at you for that. You know, you make the decision
23:51
when it's necessary and when you feel it's right for yourself. But my older
23:55
two just with them, it was It's funny because I feel like they were
24:03
very scared to tell me that they were expecting because I told them when they
24:11
were younger to not make me a grandma until I was in my forties.
24:15
And they a bliged with that. You know, I was forty three when
24:19
they've told me, you know that they were expecting, getting ready to turn
24:25
forty four. And I'm like, okay, y'all not in my house.
24:30
So number one, I can't be mad at now. If you're still in
24:33
my house. We have to talk about something I said, But y'all are
24:37
not in my house. Y'all have good jobs. Y'all are able to sustain
24:40
and take care of yourselves. Y'all only need me when you need me.
24:42
It's not like it's a necessity every day. But y'all have done what you're
24:48
supposed to do. You know, you found people that you wanted to procreate
24:52
with, and they make y'all happy, They make you a better version of
24:56
yourselves. So I cannot for nothing more than that, you know, and
25:03
those little grand babies are something else. Else is like the female version of
25:14
Deontae, and she reminds me so much of him. And I would tell
25:22
her mom when she was pregnant, because she would come over here when she
25:26
be with Deontay. She'd come over here and she fall asleep and she's in
25:30
my lap, and I was like, you know, you're gonna mess around.
25:34
This baby gonna look just like me. She thought I was joking.
25:38
Mm hmm. That baby was born. They called me and held her up
25:48
and I was like, yep, and she's like when she sees me,
25:56
she's hey, gig, And you know she run up on me and hug
26:00
me and kiss me. Did she I love you? I love you too.
26:07
And they didn't allow me to baby talk with her. Oh yeah,
26:11
but when she says love, it's with the W and I love it so
26:18
much that I have to say it the way she said because it just woul
26:26
well, I don't do the baby talk with neither one of my grandbabies,
26:29
and I didn't do the baby talk with none of my kids either. I
26:33
feel like baby talk it hinders them in a way, especially, you know,
26:41
because they get around other kids, and other kids aren't always speaking that
26:45
type of language. You know, it's hard for kids to say certain words.
26:48
And I get that, but baby talk it's just not the language that
26:53
I feel like kids need, you know, because they're not gonna be using
26:57
baby talk when they get older. So I talk to him like a baby.
27:02
They need that communication. So right, because Kyla was talking oh my
27:07
god, and that girl was using big words like oh my god. What
27:14
did she say? She had? And she was a little over a year
27:18
old, and she wanted to get her hair washed. And I was like,
27:22
okay, well we can wash her hair when we get back home.
27:23
She was like, yeah, because that needs to be on my schedule.
27:29
What do you even know about a dog on schedule? You won she's coming
27:33
up, but I need my hair done and I need that to be on
27:37
the schedule to get this done. Okay, all right. So I'm looking
27:44
at Brad and I'm like, did you teach her this word? It's like,
27:47
nah, I didn't do that, that's all you. Okay, you're
27:52
probably right because I probably had said something about that because I had her when
27:56
I was seventeen and I was on the schedule because I was in JRS.
28:00
And we had schedules for certain things, So that probably was one of those
28:03
words that she picked up on. And I'm like, okay, you know
28:07
what, all right, Nathan. Now, Michaeh was my child that did
28:11
not but she don't really talk much now, right, And Micah was determined
28:18
that he was not gonna talk until he felt like it, and me and
28:22
him had some words because little boy, I don'et took down everything in this
28:26
cabinet that you're pointing it and you keep telling me and shaking your head.
28:30
Now, so either you're gonna use some words and tell me exactly what it
28:34
is, or you're gonna start fool with me, because I'm not gonna do
28:37
this. After that, he started talking, and then he didn't really know
28:41
how to shut up too much, and I'm like, okay, look here,
28:45
now, I know I wanted you to talk, but today, ain't
28:48
today be quiet? Nathan. I had to put him on a question limit
28:52
because that boy would ask a whole bunch of questions and I couldn't. At
28:56
first, I was mad at him for asking a whole bunch of questions,
29:00
but then I had to realize I'm that same person. I asked a lot
29:03
of questions, and so I was like, I can't really put you on
29:07
a question limit, but I'm gonna have to because this boy would ask questions
29:12
like from the time he woke up to the time he went to bed,
29:15
and at that time he was like four years old, and I'm like,
29:18
he's not asking simple questions. He's like asking questions like why is the alphabet
29:25
in the order that it's in. Why are the numbers the way that they
29:29
are? Why do we have certain solar systems that we acknowledging certain ones that
29:36
we don't. Boy, look here, I don't know. Ask your teacher.
29:40
I did. They didn't have an answer either. Well, I don't
29:42
know. We'll research it one day. Like Mom, these numbers they did
29:47
way for this particular reason, but that don't necessarily make sense. Okay,
29:52
Well, baby, that was the way the numbers was when I was little.
29:55
I don't know why they like, I don't know, but why is
29:59
the alphabet, why it's twenty six letters in the alphabet. I mean,
30:03
nay, look here, I don't know. And then he got so good
30:07
that he would reward the question and ask it a different way to see if
30:11
he would get the same answer. Lot boy, look here, No,
30:15
no, Now, I got a question though, I got one question because
30:21
I've been seeing this craziness floating around the internet, and that is this stupid
30:26
little list that these women came up with about first dates. What is your
30:32
thought on that foolishness right there, because it's just foolishness to me. They
30:37
obviously don't want to go because looking at the list, I'm down for it
30:42
all. Exactly. We can cheesecake factory. We can go to Burger King
30:48
where I can have it my way exactly. We can go to the grocery
30:53
show and pick out the meal and I cook like I'm not out of man.
31:00
I was like, so, obviously y'all don't want go nowhere, just
31:03
say that I've seen that too. And obviously they don't want to date men,
31:11
right, I mean, because if you look at the list itself,
31:15
baby, you ain't got nobody on there but men, So you wanna date
31:18
yourself and a couple of other brothers are whatever? And if that's a couple
31:25
of tea, and baby, that's that's your cup of tea. It's not
31:27
mine. But you know, I'm just like, okay, So what I
31:34
have been noticing though, it's just like it's a battle against the sexist,
31:40
Like it's women saying they don't need a man, men saying they don't need
31:44
a woman, but yet you need these things. Men and women need each
31:48
other at the end of the day. We need each other, right,
31:52
and it's not just for sexual preferences or sexual gratification or anything of that nature.
31:57
We need each other to serve VI because we compliment each other. We're
32:04
not meant to tear each other down. So I see those Listen, I'm
32:08
like, honestly, y'all got too much time on your hands to absolutely sit
32:14
down and write this out, because totally honest. When Mari Rico first started
32:21
dating, neither one of us had a car mm hm. So if he
32:25
didn't get his mom's car to come to my house, or if I didn't
32:31
catch a cab to come to his house or what have you, we would
32:36
walk right you remember where I live, Yeah, you've seen where we stayed.
32:44
We would walk and meet in the middle right in the middle was trying
32:50
to express I believe it okay, and we would go there and have lunch
32:54
and see, I feel like the effort. Nobody wants to put in the
33:00
effort. They want everything handed to them on a silver platter like over.
33:06
A first date can be going to the ice cream parlor. It could be
33:08
going to the bookstore. It could be going just to walk in the park,
33:14
just to get to know somebody, because you want to get to know
33:17
somebody before you put for a whole bunch of money and all of this other
33:22
kind of stuff. If you can't afford to take yourself on these types of
33:27
dates, these women are asking for them. Baby, you don't need to
33:30
be dating nobody anyway. You know. Did you see the TikTok with the
33:34
young lady that the guy was taking her to the cheese cheese? Yes?
33:38
I still like, how do you come up with the gall and the audacity
33:47
to sit there number one, to go on TikTok and make it seem like
33:53
he downplayed you and took you to but chicken on how her attitude changed when
34:01
he was taking her home? Right, Like you were so big and bold
34:06
because you thought you were fixing to embarrass this man and God embarrassed yourself because
34:12
he needs to know if you are worth of Ruth Christy Baker, right,
34:16
you know, he needs to know if you're worth that. But right now
34:20
you wasted his time in your own and you made yourself look stupid. So
34:24
now any other man that you encounter may not even want to even deal with
34:30
you in the capacity and what you want. You know, rag that lady
34:35
and these here social media streets, And to be honest, she did it
34:39
to herself. Yes, she opened up that all you went on TikTok to
34:45
publicly try to embarrass this man about taking you to cheesecake factory, Like,
34:52
who don't want to go to be You can take me to pizza hut,
34:58
honey, I like he I like pizza. I like some wings. You
35:02
can really take me to the grocery store. That's what you can really take
35:07
me. You can take me to the grocery store, let me cook the
35:09
food and we have a conversation over the prepping and the meal itself. I
35:15
feel like that is a little bit more intimate, it's a little bit more
35:20
personal. It's it's giving you know what it needs to give. I guess
35:24
you could say, but you sitting over here. You don't want to go
35:29
to cheesecake factory. You don't want to go to Applebee's, you don't want
35:32
to go to the movies. You don't want to go bowling, you don't
35:36
want to go anywhere. Baby, you don't want to go nowhere. Just
35:39
say you want to stay in the house. And I'm still with staying in
35:43
the house because I can cook, we can pops and popcorn. We gonna
35:45
watch a movie on TV. Everything is able to be streaming now. If
35:49
we can save some money to build something for tomorrow, then baby, we
35:52
gonna do that. Let go to the grocer, doore and get these grocers.
35:54
Gonna cook this dinner and then we're gonna come on back and we gonna
35:58
watch the movie, and we're gonna do that. His own self worth,
36:04
though, yeah, for him, because somebody somewhere would have probably obliged the
36:12
foolish, foolishness and it ain't even that deep, Like he's not your husband,
36:20
you know, trying to take you out, and he got enough nerve
36:24
to ask you out because he thought enough of you to even extend his time
36:30
to do so. And if he thought enough of you to extend his time
36:35
to want a date with you. Then that shows that he saw something in
36:38
you worthy of asking you out for a date, and women vice versa.
36:45
If you see a man that's worthy that you feel like it's worth your time,
36:49
you can ask him out on a date too. You know, it's
36:52
nothing wrong with that. But you can't just be so high. It's too
36:57
many rules to the game. Well, I I'm so glad I'm not in
37:00
it. I'm so glad you're not in it because I don't even know what
37:05
the protocol is no more. It's like so in my mind, when we
37:12
first started school, are placed in a class with boys and girls. You
37:20
have to play together, you have to learn to be in each other's space
37:25
and share, and you know, yeah, from that, and then it's
37:32
like when we get older, we lose spite of the things that are taught
37:40
to us as children. We men as people that are supposed to pay for
37:51
nails and hair weeds and and no, I mean, if it's nice to
37:58
have that, if they're willing to do that, but that's not that that
38:01
their goal as a man is their is Their goal is to protect and provide,
38:07
and men have a lot of weight on their shoulders anyway. And I
38:09
look at it like this, like if you have your house and this is
38:13
this is just my opinion and nobody has to agree with it. But I
38:16
feel like most most of the time people say that the man is the head
38:20
of the household. I look at the man being the foundation of the household.
38:23
The reason is because he has to be able to withstand the weight of
38:27
what's being put on his shoulders to be able to carry the weight of the
38:30
household. Now, the woman is the covering, which is the roof of
38:34
the household, because she provides the nurturing and everything for that household to survive.
38:38
So without the foundation, you don't have anything. And the man is
38:44
that foundation, and he's there to protect and provide in the way that he
38:50
sees fit. And the woman is there to nurture, nurture and sustain what
38:58
he brings. Like he's bringing in the money, she's making the house a
39:02
home. She's cooking the meals and preparing and nurturing everyone within. And so
39:08
you can't have one without the other. You can build a house with a
39:13
roof, but you ain't got no foundation, baby, So what's that roof
39:15
gonna stand on? So the weight of the men is that foundation of the
39:21
relationship. And without a sturdy foundation, you don't have anything because you got
39:25
to start from the ground up. And the weight that is placed on that
39:29
man's shoulders has to be able to stand everything that's being thrown at him.
39:35
Right, and these people that are unequally yoked that to establish certain things and
39:45
you can't do that, Like I don't believe that God ordains all marriages.
39:52
Now gives us free will we pick and choose who we desire to be with
39:59
instead of way on him to give us who he created for us. We're
40:05
on as far as women, we are on this thing up. We got
40:09
to get married before thirty, we got the baby before what what have you?
40:15
And you know, our timeline is not God's timeline. And in word,
40:22
to do things according to the will of God, then everything would flow
40:27
a little bit more according to the plan. But we don't do that because
40:34
we're in a rat race to compete with other people that the situation is mine
40:43
over matters, if they don't matter, if if if they do mine,
40:47
then you know, yeah, it's like you can't build your relationship on what
40:54
the Joneses are doing because you can go through again they got, and you
41:01
don't know if they got it in a proper manner or they did some connive
41:07
and stuff to get what they got. You can't you can't run their race.
41:12
You got to run your own. And that's true. And one other
41:15
thing that I want to say about that is the fact that if we do
41:21
and truly wait on God, or we pray that God sends us, you
41:23
know that man or that woman, the man or woman that God has prepared
41:29
for you is the one that's going to challenge you in the ways that you
41:32
never thought that you would be challenged, because the things that you try to
41:37
hide from everyone else is the partner that God chooses is the very person that's
41:44
gonna bring those things out, no matter how hard you try to keep that
41:49
part of you hitting because the person that God designs for you sees you in
41:52
a way that no one else does because He was perfectly designed for you.
41:57
Your partner was. And as I've got as I've gotten older, I understand
42:04
a little bit more about when I had my kids and why I had my
42:09
kids. You know, Yeah, I was seventeen when I had my daughter,
42:14
twenty one when I had my son. In twenty three when I had
42:16
my other one, and God knew what was ahead of me, and had
42:22
he gave my children to me later in life, they would not be who
42:27
they are, you know, because they needed to come at the time He
42:30
assigned them to be with me, you know. And I've had to learn
42:36
that. And then, like meeting the gentleman that I'm with now, when
42:39
I tell you, he has challenged the core of who I am in ways
42:45
that I never ever imagine being challenged. And I've had to say, God,
42:51
look here and listen. And I can honestly say it's vice versa because
43:00
I see him in a way that he doesn't see himself, and he sees
43:05
me in a way that I did not see myself. And when we have
43:08
these conversations and when we talk about, you know, the sacrifices that him
43:15
and I have made along this way, and then the prayers that we pray
43:19
to keep each other covered, that is something that it's like, God,
43:23
you know, you have challenged us both, and it's it's by his circumstances
43:30
that we met. And you know, we both are stubborn and hard headed
43:42
and headstrong, but together we bring out the best in each other. And
43:46
I'm grateful for that and every day just let me know when I need to
43:52
get that. Mateva Durys ready listen. I don't know if that's gonna be
43:55
a role we're gonna take. We let God decide that, you know.
44:00
But as far as thing going with us now, I'm content. I'm happy
44:06
where we are and if that happens, it happens. If it doesn't,
44:09
I'm content with that, you know, because that's the the bumd that I
44:16
have with him, because he does he makes me a better version of myself
44:22
because I'm not always a soft type of person, and I'm not I'm not
44:29
that little feminine type of female all the time, and so he brings that
44:35
softer side out of me that sometimes bothers me because it's like, okay,
44:43
look and I be like, dude, I don't like being all soft and
44:49
move and so it's funny and he laughs and I'm like, dude, nah,
44:57
he talking about I just had to had to let you. You have
45:00
your space unless you do you and when you start doing that sometimes I'm just
45:04
like, can you just go somewhere and say be beautiful? I don't need
45:06
you doing nothing else. And I'm like, okay, I really don't want
45:09
to do that, but the way that you said it, I can ablig
45:15
good. Yeah, it's like like that. That all mean that has Joe
45:20
Scott. If you can tell me what to do, you can tell me
45:23
what to do. It's basically that. M okay. So now listen,
45:30
we've talked for forty five minutes and I'm grateful that you stepped in to be
45:35
here for me. And we're gonna keep Joeletta uplifted in prayer and I'm gonna
45:40
check in on her tonight before I go to bed to see how she's doing.
45:45
But everybody, please keep Joletta in your prayers. We're gonna definitely have
45:50
her on the show because she is my little sister as well, and she's
45:55
doing amazing things. And her conversation of keep in your crown adjusted, it's
46:00
definitely a conversation worth having to uplift and inspire women of all ages, all
46:07
shaped, sizes and colors because it's a journey that she's been on for quite
46:13
some time, and we definitely are going to have that conversation. But as
46:17
always, y'all know, I will never end this show without saying stay out
46:21
of God's business. The only thing he needs you to do is be obedient
46:24
to what he's called to do, called you to do. As always,
46:29
Thank you for tuning in to believe in the journey. And I will see
46:32
you guys in a couple of weeks. And don't forget to tell me happy
46:37
birthday on Sunday. You don't have to be on the show, but send
46:42
me an email, send me a text, send me something. Then let
46:45
me know you're thinking about me on my birthday. Send her a cash app
46:50
do that too. I appreciate anything you know. I'm listen. He's a
46:58
business owner. If you need some publishing, it got you. If you
47:04
got a story to tell, she got you. So be obedient and I'll
47:10
put some coins in her cash help. And we thank you as always.
47:16
We love you guys. Thank you for bye. I praise Queen. It
47:34
was the sweet, sweet sweet, Oh no,