Latest / The Bubble Lounge (Highland Park & University Park Texas) / How to Overcome the Fear of Public Speaking

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How to Overcome the Fear of Public Speaking · The Bubble Lounge (Highland Park & University Park Texas)

• 0:00
  Speaker 1: I don't know about you, but when my teenagers started driving, I was a nervous wreck.
• 0:04
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• 0:09
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• 0:15
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• 0:20
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• 0:25
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• 0:30
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• 0:36
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• 0:44
  Speaker 1: So if you're tired of high rates for auto insurance, please call our good friend Kathy Elwall, state Farm at 214-350-2692 or visit her website at kathylwallcom and let her know.
• 0:59
  Speaker 1: The Bubble Lounge sent you.
• 1:00
  Speaker 1: Welcome to the Bubble Lounge.
• 1:09
  Speaker 1: I'm Martha Jackson and I wanted to share something with you.
• 1:13
  Speaker 1: Last week I had the opportunity to be a workshop presenter at the Highland Park Lit Fest and it was an amazing experience, but it started out a little bit scary at first.
• 1:25
  Speaker 1: When they first reached out and asked me to be a guest, it took me a couple of weeks before I answered them because I had a lot of self-doubt.
• 1:34
  Speaker 1: I really don't do a lot of presentations and it might actually surprise you to know that I have a huge fear of public speaking.
• 1:42
  Speaker 1: So I finally convinced myself I could do it and I prepared the presentation.
• 1:47
  Speaker 1: But then, the week before the Lit Fest, I literally was freaking out.
• 1:53
  Speaker 1: I was so nervous and I got in my head really badly.
• 1:58
  Speaker 1: I didn't think I could do it and I really thought I was going to have to cancel.
• 2:01
  Speaker 1: But I am a woman of my word and the thought of letting anyone down was just more than I could handle.
• 2:07
  Speaker 1: So I pushed through it and I showed up ready to go.
• 2:10
  Speaker 1: So today I wanted to share the whole experience with you.
• 2:14
  Speaker 1: My workshop was titled Finding your Voice how to Start a Podcast and Overcome the Fear of Putting Yourself Out there.
• 2:20
  Speaker 1: But it wasn't just about podcasting.
• 2:23
  Speaker 1: I left the students with some takeaways that hopefully will help you all out as well.
• 2:27
  Speaker 1: So I titled the presentation Finding your Voice, because it took me a really long time to find the confidence to find mine.
• 2:34
  Speaker 1: Today, I want to cover three things that I think will help you Embracing fear of putting yourself out there, how to start a podcast and how to master interviews, because every podcaster will do interviews at some point in time.
• 2:46
  Speaker 1: So for the past six years, I've been a podcaster, focusing on this wonderful community that we live in and publishing some form of content every week, whether it's on my weekly podcast show or my Instagram account.
• 2:59
  Speaker 1: Today, my show has over 160,000 listeners, almost 300 episodes, and my Instagram account has been viewed over a million times.
• 3:09
  Speaker 1: You would think, with all that content out there, that I'd be perfectly fine speaking in public, right?
• 3:15
  Speaker 1: Well, the truth is, I actually have never been comfortable being in the spotlight.
• 3:19
  Speaker 1: In fact, I am really terrified of public speaking and, as I said earlier, even the week before the Lit Fest, I really felt a surge of panic every time I thought about standing up in front of the students.
• 3:31
  Speaker 1: Isn't that so hard to believe?
• 3:34
  Speaker 1: But the irony is, I was a radio TV film major at OU.
• 3:37
  Speaker 1: I always had a passion for doing this, but I was too scared to put myself out there and I held myself back.
• 3:44
  Speaker 1: But then a couple of things changed for me.
• 3:46
  Speaker 1: I absolutely love living in the park cities and I've been so fortunate to meet so many interesting people and there's so many wonderful things always going on in the neighborhood, and I knew I wanted to share all that with the community.
• 3:59
  Speaker 1: But I was still so nervous.
• 4:01
  Speaker 1: As my children got older.
• 4:03
  Speaker 1: I wanted to be a better role model for them, and if I was telling them to be confident and to pursue their passions and to face their fears, I kind of felt like I needed to do it too.
• 4:12
  Speaker 1: So I embraced my fear and I decided to launch the show.
• 4:16
  Speaker 1: So the first thing that I want to talk to you about is how to embrace fear.
• 4:19
  Speaker 1: So often in our culture we're all about success and perfectionism, but what we don't appreciate is that success often comes from learning from our failures.
• 4:29
  Speaker 1: So the first thing I learned was to give myself permission to fail.
• 4:33
  Speaker 1: It's okay to fail, as long as you learn from it and you apply those lessons that you learn to the next steps and you improve going forward.
• 4:41
  Speaker 1: When I started my show, I told myself that the first 10 episodes weren't gonna be so great and number 11 would be a little bit better.
• 4:49
  Speaker 1: So don't worry about being perfect and give yourself permission to fail when starting something new.
• 4:55
  Speaker 1: And the second thing is just know you will get better over time.
• 4:58
  Speaker 1: Every time you publish something, you're moving forward and improving.
• 5:02
  Speaker 1: So don't feel like everything has to be perfect from when you first start.
• 5:07
  Speaker 1: Just know that you will get better, and the more you do it, the better you will get.
• 5:11
  Speaker 1: In fact, I even shared this story that many years ago, when RideAlto, the ride share service, started out, we had the founders on the podcast and they said if you wait until everything is perfect, you've waited too long to launch your new business.
• 5:27
  Speaker 1: So even people like that say you know everything does not have to be perfect when you first start out.
• 5:34
  Speaker 1: And then, one thing that separates the successful podcasters is the fact that they don't give up.
• 5:39
  Speaker 1: Did you know that 90% of podcasters give up after only three episodes?
• 5:44
  Speaker 1: I mean, think about that.
• 5:46
  Speaker 1: You could be a top 10% podcaster if you publish just four episodes.
• 5:51
  Speaker 1: So keep showing up and don't give up, and that alone will set you apart from the rest.
• 5:56
  Speaker 1: Also, something to keep in mind is no one really notices what you're doing until you get really good at it.
• 6:01
  Speaker 1: A lot of people hesitate to publish online because they worry about what others are going to think.
• 6:06
  Speaker 1: But the truth is, in the beginning, most people aren't even paying attention.
• 6:10
  Speaker 1: Embracing fear is giving yourself permission to fail so that over time, you can get better.
• 6:15
  Speaker 1: So don't stop.
• 6:16
  Speaker 1: Keep going and eventually you'll get really good at it.
• 6:21
  Speaker 1: Does going to an oral surgeon sound scary?
• 6:23
  Speaker 1: Well, it's not.
• 6:24
  Speaker 1: If you go to SA Oral Surgeons.
• 6:26
  Speaker 1: I have to tell you about our experience with SA Oral Surgeons and their amazing staff.
• 6:31
  Speaker 1: From the moment I called to schedule, everything was just so easy.
• 6:34
  Speaker 1: You know how some places make you jump through hoops just to set up an appointment.
• 6:38
  Speaker 1: Not there.
• 6:39
  Speaker 1: Their team is so organized and friendly.
• 6:42
  Speaker 1: It honestly made the whole process a breeze.
• 6:44
  Speaker 1: They were able to work around our schedule, even during the busy holiday break, and just made everything so simple.
• 6:50
  Speaker 1: And when we walked into the office, I could tell right away this wasn't just any doctor's office.
• 6:55
  Speaker 1: The staff was warm, welcoming and genuinely cares about making you feel comfortable.
• 7:00
  Speaker 1: They were so reassuring, which was just what my daughter and I needed.
• 7:04
  Speaker 1: It's like they know exactly what to say and do to calm any worries.
• 7:08
  Speaker 1: If you're looking for a place where it's not just about the procedure but also the entire experience from start to finish.
• 7:14
  Speaker 1: I really recommend Essay, oral Surgeons, the scheduling process, the incredible staff they've got it just all down to a science.
• 7:23
  Speaker 1: You can even check them out and book online at sasurgeonscom.
• 7:28
  Speaker 1: That's sasurgeonscom, it's care.
• 7:32
  Speaker 1: That's truly a cut above the rest.
• 7:35
  Speaker 1: So now that you've embraced your fears, it's time to get started.
• 7:37
  Speaker 1: I want to share a few tips so you can start a podcast.
• 7:40
  Speaker 1: The first thing that you want to do is pick a topic that you're passionate about, something that you care a lot about and you want to talk about a podcast.
• 7:46
  Speaker 1: The first thing that you want to do is pick a topic that you're passionate about, something that you care a lot about and you want to talk about a lot.
• 7:53
  Speaker 1: Pick a topic that really excites you.
• 7:53
  Speaker 1: You don't need to be an expert, just passionate and curious.
• 7:55
  Speaker 1: The best content comes from a desire to learn.
• 7:58
  Speaker 1: So choose something you're really excited to learn more about.
• 8:03
  Speaker 1: Once you've got your topic, the next challenge is brainstorming content ideas.
• 8:06
  Speaker 1: Start by listing at least 20 potential episode ideas.
• 8:10
  Speaker 1: It may seem like a lot, but this is an important exercise.
• 8:13
  Speaker 1: Your list will evolve over time and that's okay.
• 8:17
  Speaker 1: The goal is to train your mind to think critically about your topic.
• 8:20
  Speaker 1: If you can't come up with at least 20 ideas, it might be a sign that you need to rethink your topic and find a new one.
• 8:28
  Speaker 1: Once that you have your topic and ideas, decide how to share the content.
• 8:31
  Speaker 1: Will it be audio only or video?
• 8:34
  Speaker 1: Which platform works best for you TikTok, youtube or Spotify?
• 8:38
  Speaker 1: Audio podcasts are easier to start with, so begin there if you're unsure.
• 8:43
  Speaker 1: If you're comfortable being on camera and editing, maybe add video later.
• 8:48
  Speaker 1: No matter what format you choose, a few essentials are key.
• 8:51
  Speaker 1: First, get a good microphone.
• 8:53
  Speaker 1: Bad audio turns listeners away fast.
• 8:56
  Speaker 1: Second, don't worry about fancy cameras.
• 8:59
  Speaker 1: Your phone's camera is great.
• 9:01
  Speaker 1: If it's from the past two to three years, you've got all you need right there.
• 9:04
  Speaker 1: And then, finally, you definitely need a computer for editing.
• 9:07
  Speaker 1: Whether it's audio or video, having the right tools makes all the difference, and I want to share with you three free tools that we use for my show GarageBand for audio, tapcut for video editing and Rode Video for capturing video, because it has a built-in microphone monitor while you're recording.
• 9:26
  Speaker 1: And my final advice is to keep it simple.
• 9:28
  Speaker 1: Your setup will evolve over time, so don't overcomplicate things in the beginning.
• 9:33
  Speaker 1: Pick a topic you love.
• 9:34
  Speaker 1: Brainstorm 20 episode ideas.
• 9:36
  Speaker 1: Invest in a good mic and use free editing software that's easy to navigate to use.
• 9:42
  Speaker 1: Focus on creating great content first.
• 9:45
  Speaker 1: Everything else will come together as you go.
• 9:53
  Speaker 1: The final thing I want to share is how to master an interview.
• 9:54
  Speaker 1: Interviews are a great way to start.
• 9:55
  Speaker 1: They take the pressure off of you because you let your guests do most of the talking, and they help also grow your audience, since many guests will share the episode with their followers.
• 10:03
  Speaker 1: It's a win-win for creating engaging content and reaching more people.
• 10:07
  Speaker 1: Now let's go over some key points for conducting a great interview.
• 10:11
  Speaker 1: When choosing who to interview, start with what you and your audience want to learn more about.
• 10:15
  Speaker 1: Pick a topic that sparks curiosity and would interest others.
• 10:19
  Speaker 1: Once you know what you want to explore, finding the right guest becomes much easier.
• 10:23
  Speaker 1: Plenty of people have opinions.
• 10:25
  Speaker 1: The key is choosing someone with real insights and expertise, someone who can bring value and make your content engaging.
• 10:32
  Speaker 1: So how do you find guests?
• 10:34
  Speaker 1: If they're active on social media, they're likely open to hearing from you.
• 10:38
  Speaker 1: Email is a great way to reach out to people too, but DMs work as well.
• 10:43
  Speaker 1: I check mine all the time and I get lots of requests through my DMs.
• 10:47
  Speaker 1: Be genuine and let them know you appreciate their work and you would love to feature them on your show.
• 10:52
  Speaker 1: Ask them for just 10 minutes of their time and if they can give you 10 minutes, chances are they can give you an hour.
• 10:58
  Speaker 1: Most importantly, be persistent.
• 11:01
  Speaker 1: People are busy.
• 11:02
  Speaker 1: Just keep following up and don't get discouraged Once you have your guest book.
• 11:07
  Speaker 1: Research is a mess before the interview.
• 11:08
  Speaker 1: I typically spend one to two hours researching each guest.
• 11:12
  Speaker 1: I start by googling them to find past interviews and I see how they've been interviewed before, and I try to pick things that most interviewers haven't covered before and I try to pick a different angle, so it's unique and different.
• 11:24
  Speaker 1: I also ask my friends what they'd like to know more about.
• 11:28
  Speaker 1: Sometimes they suggest great questions I wouldn't have even thought of Bottom line.
• 11:32
  Speaker 1: Do your homework and be prepared.
• 11:34
  Speaker 1: The more prepared you are, the better the conversation will be.
• 11:37
  Speaker 1: So, once you've done your research, create a list of three to five questions that you want to ask your guest and send it to them before the interview.
• 11:44
  Speaker 1: Most guests want to prepare for an interview and if they know the questions ahead of time, they will be a lot more comfortable answering them.
• 11:51
  Speaker 1: And speaking of being more comfortable, before you hit the record button, do these three simple things Take a deep breath, smile and tell yourself a joke that makes you laugh.
• 12:01
  Speaker 1: The more relaxed you are, the more comfortable your guest will be and the better the interview will go.
• 12:07
  Speaker 1: Once the interview starts, focus on active listening.
• 12:09
  Speaker 1: You may have planned questions, but really listening allows you to discover new angles and ask follow-up questions you didn't anticipate.
• 12:17
  Speaker 1: Staying present takes practice, but the best interviews often go off script, leading to unexpected and engaging conversations.
• 12:25
  Speaker 1: It's really important not to interrupt or talk over your guest.
• 12:29
  Speaker 1: I've listened to so many podcasts where the host does that and I really find it annoying and then I usually stop listening.
• 12:35
  Speaker 1: And one last thing to remember it's all recorded.
• 12:39
  Speaker 1: It's not live.
• 12:40
  Speaker 1: If you make a mistake, you can easily edit it out.
• 12:43
  Speaker 1: Live shows can be stressful, but recorded content gives you the freedom to make everything sound more polished.
• 12:49
  Speaker 1: Editing is your best friend.
• 12:51
  Speaker 1: I make plenty of mistakes, but you'd never know, because we edit them all out.
• 12:55
  Speaker 1: So don't stress.
• 12:57
  Speaker 1: Just focus on creating great content and you can clean up the rest later.
• 13:01
  Speaker 1: So I ended my presentation with taking questions from the kids, and they had so many wonderful questions, some of which I didn't even think about, and I really enjoyed hearing from them.
• 13:11
  Speaker 1: One of them asked why I said yes to the Lit Fest, and that is a really, really good question.
• 13:17
  Speaker 1: It was really important to me to share this message with the kids, because I waited until midlife before I pursued my passion and I let myself stand in my own way and held myself back for so many years of not achieving some of the things that I wanted to, and if I didn't face my fear and push through it and start the podcast, I would have missed out on one of the most rewarding things I've ever done in my life, and so it meant a lot to me to share that experience with the kids, so hopefully I inspired even one or two of them to get past their fears and pursue their passions now, while they're still young.
• 13:56
  Speaker 1: Another question that was asked in all three of my workshops was what my favorite episode is, and my answer for every time they asked that was I feel like that's like asking who your favorite kid is.
• 14:08
  Speaker 1: I didn't feel like I could pick a specific episode, but the one that I mentioned that I thought was extremely interesting was when I interviewed Tracy Walder, who's a mom in the neighborhood and she wrote the book the Unexpected Spot.
• 14:21
  Speaker 1: Most of the kids had never heard of her and I told them all about her.
• 14:25
  Speaker 1: Most of the kids had never heard of her and I told them all about her.
• 14:26
  Speaker 1: She, like I said, she's the mom in the neighborhood and she's a former FBI and CIA agent.
• 14:32
  Speaker 1: I mean, how often do you get a chance to talk to somebody that's been in the FBI and CIA?
• 14:37
  Speaker 1: Her stories are incredible, and some of which she can't share all the details, but she does have some amazing stories and it's just such a different experience talking to someone like that, as opposed to everyone else that I'm around on a day-to-day basis.
• 14:52
  Speaker 1: It just was absolutely fascinating to hear from her and I really enjoyed that interview.
• 14:58
  Speaker 1: Then another one that was constantly asked across the board was what podcast do I listen to?
• 15:03
  Speaker 1: I've been listening to Mel Robbins, and I know a lot of you do too, and so many of you have read her recent book, let them.
• 15:11
  Speaker 1: I'm in the process of reading it myself and I just think everything that Mel Robbins says is gold.
• 15:17
  Speaker 1: She is just so down to earth and so relatable.
• 15:21
  Speaker 1: She's just like one of us, and then she's just so positive and everything she says just encourages you to achieve things in life and to have a good day.
• 15:32
  Speaker 1: Basically, I really, really enjoy listening to her.
• 15:36
  Speaker 1: And then, who the most famous person is that I've ever interviewed and they loved the answer to this Caitlyn Jenner.
• 15:43
  Speaker 1: I was able to interview Caitlyn at a charity event.
• 15:48
  Speaker 1: She was an award presenter at this event and the group had already told me I had full access to interview anyone and everyone at the event.
• 15:57
  Speaker 1: Well, when she walked in she looked like she was in a really really bad mood, not very approachable, and I was scared to death to go talk to her.
• 16:03
  Speaker 1: But yet I really wanted to, because when else am I ever going to have the go talk to her?
• 16:05
  Speaker 1: But yet I really wanted to, because when else am I ever going to have the chance to interview Caitlyn Jenner?
• 16:10
  Speaker 1: So finally they introduced me to her and I was able to talk to her and all went well.
• 16:15
  Speaker 1: But it was just a very surreal experience talking with her because you know, my generation grew up knowing her as Bruce Jenner, the Olympic athlete on the Wheaties box, and I actually saw Bruce speak many years ago in California at a conference.
• 16:32
  Speaker 1: He was the keynote speaker and it was just really interesting to have that experience, but really exciting all at the same time.
• 16:41
  Speaker 1: Then another question that everyone wanted to know how you monetize a podcast, which I thought was a really good question.
• 16:47
  Speaker 1: Everyone wants to make money, so for ours we have spots for four different sponsors to run an ad during're selling.
• 16:57
  Speaker 1: Like, for example, if they have online workshops, like if somebody's a social media expert or coach and they do a podcast, so you'll see that they are an expert and you love all the advice that they're sharing for free, and they kind of leave you wanting more, so you're more inclined to purchase their workshop.
• 17:23
  Speaker 1: So a lot of people use it as just kind of a gateway into more.
• 17:25
  Speaker 1: So you're more inclined to purchase the workshop.
• 17:26
  Speaker 1: So a lot of people use it as just kind of a gateway into another opportunity to make money.
• 17:31
  Speaker 1: Or maybe they have, like, an online store and they're selling merchandise, so you know it can work both ways there.
• 17:38
  Speaker 1: And then somebody asked me if I found it difficult to interview students and I said not at all.
• 17:44
  Speaker 1: Like the students I've interviewed, they're always super, super excited and they want to share whatever it is that we're talking about, whether it's a sports team or student council or any of the other groups that we've talked to, they're always super excited, and so that hasn't been hard at all.
• 18:04
  Speaker 1: And then they wanted to know what the most difficult interview that I had done was.
• 18:06
  Speaker 1: And this is kind of a funny story, because many years ago there was two different people that were really persistent and really wanted to be on the show and they just kept asking and asking, and so finally we got them scheduled Again.
• 18:19
  Speaker 1: These are two separate people, two separate interviews, but they ended up being the most uncomfortable once they got the microphone in front of them, and so it was just kind of strange to see somebody that really wanted to be on actually be uncomfortable and kind of shy, and so it was a little hard to get them to talk.
• 18:38
  Speaker 1: Okay, so this was a really unique question that I thought was cool.
• 18:42
  Speaker 1: Somebody asked me if I've ever recorded a podcast and ended up not airing, and I hadn't thought about that in a really long time, and it actually did happen like three to four years ago.
• 18:52
  Speaker 1: So you guys know that I tend to try to keep things kind of lighthearted and not too controversial, and I decided to give it a try to record something that was very controversial at the time.
• 19:06
  Speaker 1: It kind of tied in with a school board election and, as many of you know, in recent years some of those have gotten kind of ugly.
• 19:14
  Speaker 1: So I recorded one with a guest and we were both really uptight and really uncomfortable and we kept stopping and going nope, we can't say this, we need to say this this way.
• 19:25
  Speaker 1: And it just it didn't feel good.
• 19:29
  Speaker 1: After we had finished it.
• 19:31
  Speaker 1: It just didn't feel like something that I was comfortable putting out there.
• 19:36
  Speaker 1: So I ended up calling the guests and saying I'm so sorry that you came over and you spent an hour with us today, but I don't feel good about this and I don't want to air it.
• 19:45
  Speaker 1: And they said I'm so happy you said that because I felt the same way too.
• 19:54
  Speaker 1: So that just wasn't a good fit for this show.
• 19:55
  Speaker 1: I didn't feel good about it.
• 19:56
  Speaker 1: So we didn't air that one.
• 19:58
  Speaker 1: So that was just a small sample of some of the questions that I received in my three workshops.
• 20:03
  Speaker 1: So I ended with telling them thank you so much for being here today, because they had a lot of workshops they could have gone to and it was such an honor that they signed up for mine, and I absolutely loved having the kids in my classroom, and I told them that finding your voice isn't easy, that it took me decades to build the courage to find mine.
• 20:22
  Speaker 1: But if there's one thing that I hope that you leave with today, don't let fear or yourself stand in the way of your success.
• 20:33
  Speaker 1: It's never too late to pursue your passion, but the sooner you start, the sooner you'll realize how much you have to offer.
• 20:36
  Speaker 1: So go out there, embrace your fears and start talking to people that inspire you, because the world is waiting to hear from you, and so am I.
• 20:44
  Speaker 1: So I hope you enjoyed this episode of the Bubble Lounge.
• 20:47
  Speaker 1: I'm Martha Jackson and I'll see you next time.