Latest / How We 1st Met & Marriage / “LOVE & MARRIAGE: THE REAL CONVERSATION”
Transcript
- Johnny: I'd like to welcome everybody back to another episode of Let's Talk About It. And today I'll be rolling solo. Tanya will be on the next one. So I'm again, I'm your host, Johnny. And today I got one of my best friends, my brother. He's about to jump that broom. Yeah. Troy: Yes, sir. Johnny: Y'all know him as you go and introduce yourself, Mr. Last Weekend as my own Troy: Mr. Johnny: single man. Troy: Constafer, Constaferzy, you know, I'm always, you know, have something to say. Mr. Troy. Johnny: Right. Right. So all right. All right, Charles, to September twenty seven is almost here, right around the corner. Troy: a couple of days away. Johnny: Countdown. Before we get into everything else, I want to talk about the marriage, the wedding, the next chapter of your life. So Troy, let's jump on in. And before we get started, y'all like everybody to go ahead and hit that subscribe button, like button, comment, and make sure y'all share it to help the show grow. All right, so Troy, September twenty seventh, like I said, is almost here. How you feeling right now? Are you excited, nervous, or a little bit of both? Troy: I'm excited. You know, I'm just ready to get it over with, You know, just ready. Like today really certified it, solidified it for me. You we didn't want to go get those merit license. So I was just like, well, it's really about Johnny: You know it's real. Troy: to go down. Yeah. Johnny: Yeah, and and no turning back once we get those license be like, ugh Troy: Nah, not at all. Johnny: Man. So what made you decide that now was the right time to make this step to make this step and get married? Troy: The person I'm marrying man, like she a real good woman. You know what saying? When I first met her, like within a year, I said, you know, there's somebody I can marry. So, you know, that's when I was like, yeah, I can see myself marrying her. ain't, now we about to do it. Johnny: Right. And nothing like right, and nothing like finding that person that that completes you as they say, and you can tell you you you know from the first couple of months some of the stuff they do be like, Okay, I like that. I like that. Like Troy: Yeah, definitely. Johnny: one of my things was before I fall in love, before I always fall in love with the person, I fall in love with the stuff they do. Like I wanna see what first I want to see what kind of mom you are. I see it, that's good. Check that off. Then I wanna see how you act when 'cause you know the honeymoon stage is always good the first few months. But how you gonna be on our first Troy: I call it interview. I call it the interview. Johnny: Yeah, I I hear I heard people say that too. See, I wanna know how you do on that first argument. It's one of them arguments Troy: Yeah. Johnny: where you're gonna be like, you know what? Get this, I'm out here. Fuck that, I'm done. I'm done. Are you gonna sit up there and be like, you what? Let's talk this out. how you are financially. Are you one of them people that blow money fast? That's Raw said. So that's how I am. Well, when it comes down to that. Troy: My thing was, another thing was how she was with my son. Like that played a major role for me. You know, so, and then, you know what saying, how I'm with her kids and how her kids accepted me, but it was more how she was with my son. You know, so, and you know, that's one of the major things that I felt, solidified what it was, how she was with him. Johnny: Right. So did you before you proposed it was Little Troy one of the ones you talked to? Troy: Yeah, I talked to him. I talked to all the kids, you know what saying? You and you know what saying? Just to let them know what was going to go on, you know, so everybody was like, okay, so. Johnny: You went in and out. Troy: I said everybody was okay, so I was not okay with it. So was like, all right, this is when I'm gonna do it. So. Johnny: Yeah. That's Troy: Okay. Johnny: that's what I did. I went to all I went to all three of my boys. There was the first ones that I went to. Went and checked with them. They was good. They gave me an approval. And I checked with her parents. that's my second time getting married. That's my first time I ever went to a parents. Normally I'd be Troy: Yeah. Johnny: normally I'd be like, It's it's it's it it's it's me and you I'm not worrying about parents, but this time I was trying to do it a little different. I didn't want to approach this one this this marriage difference. So on that note, what's what's different about the way you approached your marriage, approaching this marriage at this this stage of your life? Troy: man just learn you know I'm saying I have to learn from what my past mistakes and what you know I'm saying happened in the first marriage I know I can't bring that baggage in to this one you gotta be different Johnny: I agree with you on what didn't I say what didn't work, but use what work. 'Cause every you know, sometimes everything that you use might work with the previous might not work with this person. But still Troy: right. Johnny: take the good things, good and bad parts about it. So I know that's what I did. I did a lot of stuff that I didn't do in my first one 'cause I sc I got a chance to sit back Some of the jobs I had, I got a chance to sit back and watch how other people are with their significant other wife, girlfriend. I was like, damn, I wasn't doing that. Why I wasn't doing that? Troy: Hmm. Johnny: That made me a better person to this day, with that one. Troy: Yeah, most definitely. Johnny: What experience in life help you prepare of yourself for this ma for marriage? Troy: Man, I'm about to tell you, going to therapy really help and really getting into church. like you know I'm saying putting God first and you know I'm saying with this this marriage like you know we on the road you know I'm saying going to church together and experiencing you know I'm saying the things in church and you know with me going to therapy you know I think like that really helped me and then being around people who are married and who are you know I'm saying seeing these so you know elevate you know what their marriages and everything I think like that's what you know really helped me. Johnny: Right. I agree 'cause I know wifey told me, she said that was one of the biggest things for her. She wanted a man who was into church and everything. And what's crazy is that, you know, God do things for a reason. The previous girl I was dating, she said she wanted a man that was going to church. And at the time I know my mom's yeah, everybody knows my history and my mom was a min was a minister and everything but I went through this part where I didn't go to church for a long time and this girl I was dating, she was like, I want somebody to go to church and this and that. So I wanted to be with that girl at first. Then I started going to church and next thing you know, I left her alone and my wife met my wife and I said, God put you in put people in your in your life for reasons to Troy: All right. Johnny: to fix things. Troy: she's like, She was like, you know, I believe in God and everything. She was like, I feel like we need to, you know, we're to be a couple. We got to go strong. We got to find us a church home. Like, Johnny: Right. Troy: all right, cool. So, you know what saying? New Year's Eve of twenty four, twenty five. You know what saying? We was like, we want to start trying to go to church. We found the church. Household of Faith. That first Sunday, bruh, of the New Year, man, when I tell you, I was like, all right, I don't want to go to another church. I found my church on. We've been there ever since. I've been joined the men's ministry, know, I volunteer Johnny: No. Troy: in church, you know what saying? You know, we do a whole lot of things, you know, at church or whatever. And I'm telling you, man, the best decision ever. But I always, you know I'm saying, was one. I would go to church, but I'd be one foot in and one foot out. But this time I'm like two feet in, you know what I'm saying? I got baptized, everything. yeah, man, life is good right Johnny: Heck yeah. I I with you on that one. That's what that's something that we we agreed on. we wanted to find a church that let's see, we we we started going to this church we announced since twenty eighteen. So we wanted to join we just joined because we wanted to join 'til we got married, but with COVID and everything happened. Like I said, my my marriage got delayed and pushed back a couple of years. But when we did get married in twenty three, I mean sorry, twenty twenty four. That's when we were supposed to join the church where we had now but some stuff came up, got busy. But we're still attending a church every Sunday, but we was like we know, we know we ain't questioning we it was perfect timing when we went last last month to join it. So you're right. it's nothing like having that right church and you know it's it feels good. Troy: Yeah, most definitely. Johnny: So do you feel like you're a different man today Troy: Uh-uh. Johnny: than you were years ago? so, what's changed the most? Troy: I'm about, I'm 100 % different. You know what I'm saying? My whole mindset, you know, at one time it was just, again, I was more, it is what it is. You know what saying? Yeah, I was married, but I felt like I was married for all the wrong reasons too. Wrong reasons. But you know, hey, you you live and you learn. Johnny: Right. Agree. So was there s was there a special moment when you knew this the woman I wanna spend the rest of my life with? You had that moment where you're like, damn, this this this is it. Something she did or something you just going feeling? Troy: Nah, just like this how she is. You know what saying? If you met her and you know her, you would be like, okay, I see why. It's like that personality, the person she is, she's just, you know, it's just so genuine and fun and loving, you know, she's like that, you know, that person for me. Johnny: As of September twenty seventh getting closer, what are you looking forward to the most about your wedding day? Troy: Man, listen, you know, my wife, you know I'm saying? You know, we've been, know, boyfriend and girlfriend, fiance, now she gonna be my wife. You know I'm saying? See her in that dress, cause she don't wanna let me see it. She like, no, you can't see it. we got, I'm like, so we gonna Johnny: Right. Troy: ride to the, you know, the thing together? She was like, no, you can't see me. And I'm like, okay. So yeah, that part, you know I'm saying? And then celebrating with everybody who's coming. That's my thing. I wanted a celebration. feel like a lot of people would be like, you know, we're so happy for y'all. this. So I just feel like I want to be celebrated. Celebrate us. You know, so yeah, I'm ready. Johnny: Right. People be making it like it's all about the woman but nah, I won't I want both of us to enjoy that. Troy: Mm-hmm. Johnny: So everybody, if you're still watching the show, I'd like y'all to go ahead and subscribe to the channel, hit the like button, and also hit that share button and me some comments for Troy and give him some congratulations. So if you can if you can sit down with a younger version of yourself and give him one piece of advice about love, relationship, and marriage, what would you tell him? Troy: man listen to be to embrace it right because i grew up not really you know getting the love that i i felt like i should have got so when you find somebody who's you know i'm saying pouring that into you now she just got to embrace it Johnny: I agree with you. And by so you myself, like you said, embrace it and just enjoy the moment, man. it's a special it's just just enjoy and be patient. I'm gonna say that, be patient. Don't give up on some people don't have the patience and they'd be ready to just you know what, this marriage ain't working, I'm outta here. Man, be patient and work stuff out and Troy: there. Johnny: go from there. Troy: Because I look at it, think every day ain't gonna be perfect. Johnny: Exactly. Exactly. Troy: You know, we're gonna have our time, we're gonna have our days, we're have our moments, but we gotta know. You know what I'm saying? that it ain't going to affect how we are. You know what saying? Yeah, you know, we got like a little moment, but we're going to talk about how to get over it and move on. Don't hold on to that. So, yeah. Johnny: Okay, Troy, I I'm gonna give you two choices. Don't sit there and think about it for five minutes either. Give me the first answer that comes to your mind. Then I'll give then I'll give you minds. So we're gonna start with big wedding or small wedding. Troy: Bye. Johnny: I wanted a big way and I wanted everybody to see me. Troy: Nah, my whole thing, I just don't want a whole bunch of people. Like I don't want that to take away. I just feel like when you have 30, you know what I'm saying, bridesmaids and groomsmen, I think that takes away from the bride and groom. That's just my opinion. Johnny: Yeah, I like s I just wanted like kinda like you say earlier as we celebrate, but also I you know me, I have a a huge family. These these Lawsons, man, we got shhous of us out there probably. So it was I had this one, like my first one I think we had like two hundred and fifty people that showed up. Again, a lot of them was Lawsons and this one we did a destination and of course we went to Jamaica. We only had maybe twelve. Ten I don't know, probab about eight to ten I'ma say. But I enjoyed that small that small wedding. Kinda like you said, almost better than I know I actually I did enjoy that better than I did the big one. Why is it like this? All right. Next question I have for you. Date night, at home or a night out? Troy: Nine out. Johnny: I like to show my outfits and make sure I look good and clean. Join account joint account or separate bank accounts? Troy: I'm sorry. Johnny: Yeah, same up. All right, next one I got for you. Go on in going to bed angry or stay up until you settle it. Troy: I'm more of a, I'll let you have a cool off period. Johnny: Right. Yeah, we we got this thing where we have but it's for all of us, not just me and her but you got twenty four hours to get it out your system. After that twenty four hours, shake it off. Troy: Yeah, you know, that's what I say. I must say 40. I'll give you more like 40. You know, and after that, you know, I'm saying like, can't keep going. You know. Johnny: Like this. Right. Troy: Yeah, 40, I say 40. Johnny: it together or take our food. Troy: together. Johnny: Same here. Romantic getaway with the family or romantic getaway together? Troy: You can do something with the family later. Johnny: Yeah, I'm with you because Troy: I need to have our time. Johnny: Hell yeah, 'cause I've been taking these kids everywhere I went, these last two trips that we done by ourselves, I was like, this one I'm missing. Troy: Bye. Johnny: Man. Saying I'm sorry first or wait till everything cool down to say it. Troy: I'll say I'm sorry first. I'm not an Johnny: I'll wait till everything cool down. Troy: initiator. I'm not an initiator. So. Johnny: I had to had to go back and think about my thoughts and what we just argued about. So I'm gonna say I like to let stuff cool down. Let's see what I got. Troy: That's why I gave you 48 hours. After 48 hours, come on, Like, what we done? Johnny: Right. I guess also it depends on how big the fuss the argument is too. Troy: Right. Johnny: Flowers or surprise date? Troy: both. Johnny: I like a surprise date me. I like the nothing like make not not knowing where she going. I love that part. Troy: Yeah. Johnny: Wedding anniversary or Valentine's Day. Troy: So I'm gonna say, I gotta say both because my lady, she's a holiday person. Valentine's Day is special for her. So I'm gonna say both. Johnny: I'm gonna say wedding anniversary because to me, every day for me is Valentine's Day with her because Upper Hind get gifts so many times a month. So I I would say maybe some special gifts. I would say Valentine's I mean wedding day wedding anniversary for me. All right. Troy: Alright. Johnny: True or true or false, and tell me your reason. Happy wife or happy life? True or false? Sure reason. Troy: I believe it should be happy spouse, happy life. And I was just thinking about that because it's always happy wife, happy life. But why it always got to be if the wife is happy, you know what saying? should be why it can't be, you know, if we're both happy, then shit, everything is good. But why it always got to be happy wife, happy life? What if the wife is the reason why that you're mad? Johnny: Yeah. Right. Troy: So that's why, that's my life. And I was just thinking about that. Johnny: Sure, I never I never believe in that shit at all. I always say, like you just said kinda like you said, nah, we both need to be happy because if I'm not happy, none of us gonna be happy. So I Troy: Right. Johnny: I believe in we both be happ no need to be happy. I tell that all the time, and I tell people I don't believe in that happy wife, happy life. Nah, we both need together. Troy: Yeah, I Johnny: I got one more one more for you for the bonus question. Right. who most likely will say I'm sorry, you are your future wife? Troy: Me. Me. Johnny: I got a few more of Who's more stubborn? Troy: her. Johnny: That's me right there. I can't even lie. She's not a tourist, huh? Troy: She a gem in there. We're the same. We're Johnny: I think yeah. Troy: the same. Johnny: Who's more romantic? Troy: Me. Johnny: Yeah, same yeah, I love and nothing like being romantic and just doing like I said earlier, is a sudden surprise and face seeing their face is it's priceless. Even as the small stuff. Troy: Right. Johnny: All right, Joy. we're gonna go on to my the next seminar. I normally use this in some of my sports sports talk, but I got this one called I Got Five on It. And I want you to Give me top five things you believe every strong marriage needs to survive. All right, Pretty much I can go first that you wanna wanna Troy: No, so I'm going to communication, love, trust, respect, and sex. Johnny: Yeah, I I agree. Definitely gotta add that one. I got pretty much the same one. You have communication, gotta have that respect, fate, me having fate is is big, is big Troy: Yeah, it does. Johnny: loyalty, trust, those are my five. So out of all out of all of them, which one that you would you take the most serious, I guess? If I'm saying that, right? Troy: For me Respect because if you don't respect me, why don't expect you like how we gonna know how we gonna get up? How we gonna you know, I'm our marriage go you know, I'm saying even survive Johnny: the same thing on me and my wife was going back and forth about that 'cause I was going over some questions with her see what she think about And I think I said did I say I said trust. Yeah, I said trust and she said respect. And I was like, if I don't trust you, I don't I just I can't respect you, I don't trust. And she like, Well, you gotta respect me, have trust. So I was like, it can go both ways for me, but I gotta have that Troy: Yeah. Johnny: trust. If I can't trust you, I can't do nothing with you. I don't be I'm not one of those men that's gonna tiptoe and ask you where you've been, what you're doing, why your phone is this and that. So I I I'm I'm too old for that shit. So it's like been through that Troy: Yeah, most definitely. But again, it's just, you know, the respect part. Like, you we can't respect each other. Like, how are we gonna, you know what I'm saying? How are we gonna, you know what I'm saying? Our marriage gonna go on. Because we ain't respecting Johnny: Same same thing. Troy: each other and we just, you know, disrespecting each other. Like, that's not, you can't do nothing with that. Johnny: Right. That's that's exactly the same thing she said earlier. All right, so I got the final this should be my final question for you. was there anything on my top five that didn't make your top that you think I ranked too high or something on my list that you think I'm missing? Troy: Now see you all next again. Johnny: I said trust, respect, communication, faith, and loyalty. Troy: And, but I think respect and loyalty, I feel like they're around like the same, but then you ain't got sex on there. Like, nigga, that gotta be part of it. Johnny: Yeah. You know that's how they gotta be you have Troy: Bye. Johnny: Yeah. I I agree with. So I'm gonna make that my number. That's my like you always say one A, one B. Troy: that man like if we ain't having sex like something wrong. I'm tell you bro we you know we's part of our church's marriage ministry you know even though we're not married yet you know we was picked you know what saying to be like mentors whatever so we just had you know when our marriage you know little thing Friday and you know that was like one of the topics you know what saying about sex and our pastor was like listen Men need it. We got the appetite. know, like we need that. Like, yeah, y'all need, you know, the affection and, you know, everything else, but you know, we need that, that is something a man's need, you know? So yeah, brother, like sex is part of it. Like you gotta have. Johnny: I agree with you hundred percent on 'cause I know it's funny to be like, damn be slated for the rest of my life, so we gotta make sure we get this right. So I love Troy: Yeah most definitely. Johnny: Yeah, I I'm with you on that one on sex is top on the list 'cause without that that's that then we go back to happy life, happy wife. You you good but I'm not happy. So it's gonna be it's about to be hell I'm gonna be complaining about everything. Troy: Yeah, most definitely. Johnny: Looking for a thing. So besides I know you said you're looking forward to seeing her in that in that dress. You have your family there, everybody you want. So what's one thing that you feel like trying to see after both of y'all say y'all are I do that you're looking forward to after that? Troy: or the kiss, man, you know? Give her a big wet one. Johnny: I was about to ask you, are you gonna do the the what? Are you gonna go on the Troy: No, no, I'll make sure I put some chapstick on. Johnny: I think after we did the I do's and stuff, I was ready for that dance. 'Cause I I prepared for that dance, like music wise. you know, I I had come back from the mic. I had Ro Timmy, our dude for mine, and that that Troy: Hmm. Johnny: song was was beautiful, man. So that's one thing I couldn't wait to get her in my arms and w see people watch us dance. So I think that's Troy: Yeah, that too. But you know, but so she put that that on me the first dance song. So I've just been going trying to see exactly what I got the song yet. I think I do, but I show you what it's it's our favorite one of our favorite artists are killing forever. You know, but it's been playing like it keep on coming up. Like I'll be, you know what saying, searching for like different songs, but like that song is Johnny: He comments. Troy: coming up, you know? So I think like that's gonna be the one, you know? so. Johnny: That's go with the f if that's what you're feeling, go with it. Instead of 'cause Troy: Yeah. Johnny: I knew once I had it, I didn't honest with you, I didn't have no other s no other backup song. I was like, This is it. Every time 'cause I had w I had two different DJs. I had the one we was the first person to get married in the States. and then I was like, we went to Jamaica, I was like, I want that one. I want the same song. So and I kept playing it over and over in my head, envision it. So Troy: Yeah, because like the song, like the song that I did for the proposal was the Ed Sherman and Beyonce song. I don't know if you ever heard it, but like that was, you know what saying, the song, you know, what I did the proposal to, I just feel like R. that just keep on, you know, coming to play. So. Johnny: right, so again we're gonna come to the end of the show. again, Troy man, wanna congratulate you, congratulate you again on this weekend, upcoming weekend. man, sorry man, I wish I can be there, but you know, I had this crazy busy life with these boys on this road. Man, have fun for me, man. Champagne, everything. we're gonna get together and do something one soon, some kind of trip or something for with all of us. this be your kind of one of your first trips trips as a married man after your after your honeymoon Troy: Right. Johnny: stuff. So again, man, thanks for coming on the show. Again everybody I want to ask y'all to go ahead and hit the like button, hit and make sure y'all subscribe and make sure y'all share. But before I get out, forgot to ask Troy, anything you wanna mention before get out? Troy: man, you know, my marriage, I'm gonna say, my man's conference is coming. I think by the time this area, you know, we'll be on our second day, you know, in New Orleans East household of fate. think Dr. Joel Tubman will be there on Friday. So, you know, and we're gonna do it Saturday morning. And man, if y'all not doing that, I attend service road in New Orleans East in between. crowd and read man come out Johnny: I heard the man, he just asked y'all to come off. So go ahead and make do your thing. So everybody wanna again thank everybody for tuning in on the show. And see till next time. See y'all later. Let's talk about it.