Latest / Man In Your Corner with Shaun Tucker / Ep. 33 | Overcoming Dad Guilt and Mental Fitness for Entrepreneurial Fathers
Transcript
- Shaun: Welcome back to the reset episode 33 with me Sean Tucker. When is enough enough? You get out of life what you tolerate. Meaning if something upsets you and you don't speak up, you are gonna keep suffering that voice inside your head that says you are not good enough to change your life to actually ask and get what you want. I've been sitting with this for a little while. I've been taking actions. I've been taking actions towards the direction that I'm heading that I actually want to achieve and all those things. But there's one part of me that just doesn't shut up. And I hope you can relate to this. It's that part that just... continues to doubt, that continues to arc up and say, ⁓ you deserve more rest. You deserve more sleep. You deserve to let yourself off the hook. When I was doing 75 Heart and when I was into listening to Andy Frisella and people like that, they would call it the little bitch voice or the inner bitch voice, which has a lot of truth to it, but... It's that part of you that is very, very insecure, is very, very much, maybe not even slightly in touch with reality, but. It's really the core wound that you have within yourself. And for me, I know what it is. It's feeling like I've been abandoned. And it's really hard to ask for help. And I think a lot of men, a lot of dads probably struggle with this as well. Not just dads, but mums, people in general. It's the fact that... ⁓ There's no one else who can understand your problem. But this is not true. This is a fallacy. This is not reality. The fact is. ⁓ People have been where you are. There is someone who's been exactly how you're feeling right now. And you might even be in a community that gets it, that understands it. But it's that struggle to express what it is that's happening within you that I think causes so much more frustration. And especially for men because traditionally it's not been acceptable to express how you're feeling. It's not even been acceptable to cry, to feel those feelings that you've been avoiding. because it's not manly to cry. It's not. It's not practical, it's not suitable, it's not... You know, you can't show your vulnerabilities because that's not what a man is. And if I reflect on looking at the paternal figures and role models I've had, like my own family, I think the greatest gift you can give your child is to show that it's okay to be vulnerable. even if it's just a microsecond, even if it's just one small moment. having that courage to show vulnerability. is a permission piece to really look within yourself and ask, are you really okay? What is really bothering you? Because when you do that and you allow the space for it to come out, you start to see what's really going on. And not everyone will get it. In fact, probably no one will. but that's not the point. The point is to see that you are judging yourself more harshly than anyone would ever judge you. You are judging yourself. and comparing yourself to someone who... you think has everything together? I'm gonna tell you straight up, it's bullshit. There is no human. on this planet that has everything all together. and the more they look like they do, the more it's probably about to crumble. So maybe today's episode is about giving yourself permission to really look in yourself and ask yourself the question. What do you want? What do you really want? What is it that you really truly care for? And just be with it. Whatever comes, let it be. because whatever's bothering you is probably the thing that's stopping you from accessing that full expression of what it is that you truly care for. and letting it rise and fall just like the breath. connecting to it, feeling it. not judging it. That's the gift of being able to learn how to use your breath to slow down. It's the gift of. being able to regulate your nervous system. to actually really understand what it is you want. If your mind and body are disconnected and have been disconnected for your whole life, then it's going to be really hard to access that gift that you have. But I promise you if you slow it down and if you be with that breath, you pay attention to what's happening. The sensations in your body. crazy amount of thoughts that are running through your head. Whenever you become distracted, bring it back down to your breath. when enough is enough. You can no longer continue holding on to what doesn't serve you anymore. And you have to face reality with who it is you are now. And as that rise and fall happens naturally with the breath. keep paying attention to the sensations. Notice where it's tight. Notice. where doesn't fully open. to see. if you have the patience and the space to allow what it is to come through you. You can let it speak. Let it open. to simply see it for what it is. this is not where I thought I'd be taking today's episode. But if you're still listening, I'm really happy that you're still here. And I'm really grateful for you to be here. somewhere along the lines or somewhere along your path, you stop trusting yourself. You started listening to what people were telling you and you thought it was a good idea to follow their path instead. Maybe, just maybe, this is your permission slip. to forge your own path. to stop listening to what everyone else wants. to really start. creating the life that you want. And if you found today's episode to be helpful for you, if you have one friend in mind who you think it could help, share it with them. That's all they ask in return. Thank you so much for tuning in. I look forward to seeing you in tomorrow's episode. Go and have a magnificent day.