Latest / Loud & Lifted / Executive Presence for Women: How Your Wardrobe Builds Your Brand with Melanie Lippman
Transcript
- 0:00Welcome to loud and lifted the show where we
- 0:02turn career volume up without turning ourselves
- 0:05down I'm your host Betsy Hamm. Today, I sit down
- 0:08with Melanie Litman, image strategist, executive
- 0:11presence whisperer, and the woman who will politely
- 0:14pride the black boxy blazer from your I'm being
- 0:16appropriate hands. She impacts how we have to
- 0:20build our brand before our closet. And no, this
- 0:23doesn't mean you have to go on a major shopping
- 0:25spree. Sorry. We discuss your Zoom presence and
- 0:28Matt Melanie style code so you know exactly what
- 0:31to wear. whether it's in a boardroom or just
- 0:33in the office. This isn't about being cute, buying
- 0:37expensive clothes, or even being on trend. It's
- 0:40about being credible, consistent, and magnetic,
- 0:43and using your clothes as a tool to do so. Melanie
- 0:55Lippman, welcome to Loud and Lifted. Thank you
- 0:58so much for being here. Thank you for having
- 1:01me. I'm so excited about this conversation and
- 1:04I'm also very excited about your blue blazer,
- 1:06but we'll get into that in a minute because I
- 1:09want to read for our listeners the best intro
- 1:11to you is your headline on your LinkedIn. You
- 1:14weren't made to blend in. I help women and male
- 1:16dominated industries ditch the corporate armor,
- 1:20build an unapologetic personal style brand that
- 1:23commands authority, power dressing, leadership
- 1:25presence. That's amazing. How in the world did
- 1:29you get into this job? Interestingly enough,
- 1:33I worked corporately for about 10 years. I was
- 1:37in the fine jewelry industry. Most people don't
- 1:40know that the fine jewelry industry is run by
- 1:44men in gray hair and navy blue suits. Even though
- 1:49I was born and raised in the fashion industry
- 1:52and was always obsessed with personal style and
- 1:55what was going on, I found myself in this place
- 1:59where I was dressing to prove and I so working
- 2:03in luxury, really high end. I was always the
- 2:07shortest woman in the room, usually the only
- 2:09woman in the room and typically the youngest
- 2:11person in the room. And I would find myself before
- 2:15all of these major trade shows or major meetings
- 2:18in this like shopping frenzy. And my shopping
- 2:22friends who was really expensive because I worked
- 2:25in luxury. So like it included Chanel bags and
- 2:29like really I went into serious debt trying to
- 2:33look the part and that didn't feel good. But
- 2:36not only did that not feel good. I had my boss
- 2:39one day we were in a meeting. We were planning
- 2:42for a huge trade show every year. And she made
- 2:46this comment to me of like nice like clothes
- 2:49and all. Why don't you try being more you? And
- 2:55I walked out of her office like literally like
- 2:59the wind got knocked out of me because number
- 3:02one I thought I was doing this really good performative
- 3:05job of wearing all the right things and I was
- 3:07spending all of this money. And the idea of why
- 3:12don't you be more you like it really hit me because.
- 3:17I, I'm sure like most of us, I was in my mid
- 3:20-20s, like I didn't know who I was. I thought
- 3:23I did, like on paper. But like every single thing
- 3:27that I thought did was probably my parents and
- 3:31society's idea when it came to like politics,
- 3:34religion, what I thought, what I ate, like who
- 3:37I was supposed to marry, like all of those things.
- 3:40I didn't know who I was, so the clothes and this
- 3:43thing that I thought I was being so self -expressive
- 3:45and someone saying to me, why don't you be more
- 3:47you? And I'm like, huh? It really got me. So
- 3:52that's where my journey to figuring out who I
- 3:55was through my wardrobe really started. And I
- 4:00then started to experiment and figured out what
- 4:02I liked. And then I had a really amazing opportunity
- 4:06when my son was born. I tried staying in corporate.
- 4:09and being at Fashion Week when your kid's taking
- 4:12his first steps is not really a fun thing. So
- 4:15I took a step back from my corporate career and
- 4:17then found myself in my friend's closet putting
- 4:20together outfits and then started working with
- 4:24women in male -dominated fields and then had
- 4:27that whole situation happen all over again where
- 4:31these women were being very performative. dressing
- 4:35from the shoulds of this is what success looks
- 4:38like. And I'm like, this feels familiar. So what
- 4:41I really realized is my mission in life is to
- 4:46show women how to be more of their selves in
- 4:48all aspects of their life, but through the lens
- 4:51of their wardrobe. I love that. And you're right.
- 4:54I mean, pretty much all of us are in male dominated
- 4:57industries. So when you look around what majority
- 5:00they're wearing, I don't really want to wear
- 5:01black suits or just white button -down shirts.
- 5:04And when you're young, you're not really sure
- 5:06how to balance that. Am I professional? Am I
- 5:09fitting in? I don't want to stand out too much.
- 5:11I'm just going to keep buying everything that's
- 5:12black. Seems very neutral. So when somebody comes
- 5:16to you, what's the first step? How do you even
- 5:19go down this journey? When we were all seven
- 5:21years old, we didn't give a crap what anyone
- 5:24thought of us, right? So if we step into that
- 5:27energy of whatever you enjoyed, either wearing
- 5:31or doing or being, I tap into that. Because what
- 5:37I found through this work, so besides being an
- 5:40image coach and working in the wardrobe aspect,
- 5:42one of the other things that I did is I got a
- 5:44neuro coaching certification. So I realized that
- 5:47a lot of the way that we dress and the reason
- 5:49why women we took these roles in male -dominated
- 5:52fields is because it's very much in line with
- 5:54our behaviors and being a good girl and doing
- 5:57the right thing and success so we need to prove
- 5:59ourselves and so like the clothing probably was
- 6:03something that came up over and over again throughout
- 6:07our childhood our upbringing middle school high
- 6:09school our first job that we were always trying
- 6:12to square peg round hole and prove So, my first
- 6:16step is to help my clients figure out what they
- 6:19actually really like, because they haven't done
- 6:24that since they were seven, of really figuring
- 6:27out, like, what makes me feel good? What can
- 6:30I wear that activates something inside of my
- 6:34personality? What is the things that excite me
- 6:37when it comes to showing up? What messages do
- 6:40I want to send? And you'll see all of these things
- 6:42are like feeling things and who I be things,
- 6:46not anything to do with proving or what's expected
- 6:48of me. So I help them go back and figure out
- 6:52what about style or clothes. And sometimes we
- 6:55have to not even talk about clothes because it's
- 6:57so sensitive, just about aesthetic or what things
- 7:00or values you like to help them figure out who
- 7:03they are. And then slowly in a way that feels
- 7:07safe, start to integrate parts of that into their
- 7:10wardrobe. So it doesn't feel like all of a sudden
- 7:13they're showing up as a different person or feeling
- 7:15like, is this too much? Is this a lot? But really
- 7:18slowly integrating certain aspects of them into
- 7:21their wardrobe and how they're showing up. That's
- 7:24so interesting. Going back to... when you were
- 7:26little. And as you were saying that, I'm picturing
- 7:28my daughters who are teenagers, but when they
- 7:29were seven or probably even younger than that,
- 7:32the way that they liked to dress up and shop
- 7:34was in the little Cinderella dresses and the
- 7:37costumes. And they put on these Disney character
- 7:41dresses and they were unstoppable, their confidence
- 7:44level and just their excitement to go out. when
- 7:47Erin's a target with a Cinderella dress on. So
- 7:50it's funny thinking back to that from their perspective.
- 7:52I can't really think about that quickly on my
- 7:54own, but just it was that how they showed up
- 7:56and how they felt. Now, teenagers are not rocking
- 7:58any Cinderella dresses. Nope. But interestingly
- 8:01enough, a lot of the journey that happens within
- 8:05my clients that work in male -dominated fields
- 8:07is finding their femininity. Oh. Because they've
- 8:12been shown or thought or came up with this concept
- 8:16that being a female in a male -dominated world
- 8:20is not safe. And so I need to cut parts of myself
- 8:24off to look and act like I belong in this room
- 8:27that wasn't potentially made for them, where
- 8:30I then... you know, get to show them and through
- 8:33conversations is that they're different leaders
- 8:35than their male counterparts. And how can they
- 8:38soften some of the things that they're wearing,
- 8:40as opposed to leading with that aggression and
- 8:43that fierceness. And so not and this is why every
- 8:46single journey with all of my clients are different,
- 8:49because this is not my idea. It's their idea.
- 8:51And I'm the guide. But a lot of what what my
- 8:55clients crave is being more feminine through
- 8:58their wardrobe. And it's interesting because
- 9:01most people have that princess play or this is
- 9:05what pretty because again, a message of you can't
- 9:08be both smart and pretty has been put into someone's
- 9:12mind is how do you be powerful and also feel
- 9:16like you can be either feminine or beautiful
- 9:19in a way that feels authentic to you? And how
- 9:22do you balance, and I especially remember this
- 9:24when I was younger and I was in a very conservative,
- 9:26I would say, work environment, you know, the
- 9:29whole like, oh, is my neckline too low? Is my
- 9:31skirt too short? Like, and I think that comes
- 9:33up a lot of times where then women get paranoid.
- 9:35So then everything is like turtlenecks and long
- 9:38dresses or whatever it is. So how do you kind
- 9:40of balance that piece of the femininity of not
- 9:42feeling like, oh, these men are checking me out
- 9:44now because my skirt's too short? I think that
- 9:47if you're thinking it, you're not doing it. I
- 9:50always will say to my clients like, is this too
- 9:52much? And I'm like, can you hand that over to
- 9:53me? Because the fact that you are concerned about
- 9:55being too much is you're over correcting. Interesting.
- 9:58And you're probably doing it too much where there's
- 10:01clients that I have to be like, okay, we need
- 10:03to tone this down a little bit. So just know
- 10:06if you're thinking that you probably have to
- 10:08worry about it. It's the people that aren't thinking
- 10:10about it. But the great thing is our clothes
- 10:14are sending all different types of messages.
- 10:16So I will say like, What's the one focus thing
- 10:19that you're going to be? So I know in banking,
- 10:22you can not wear a low neckline, but your skirt
- 10:28could be as short as you want. But it's always
- 10:30like, let's pick the one thing. So it's really
- 10:33that focus on what's the thing that's going to
- 10:35be a little bit more feminine, not like, I'm
- 10:37going to wear five inch heels and a low coat
- 10:38shirt and this and this and this. It's like,
- 10:40what's the one thing that's the softening? Right.
- 10:42That makes sense. I know you work a lot with
- 10:44executives. So from like an executive, from a
- 10:46leadership standpoint, like what do you focus
- 10:48on with women to have them have that presence
- 10:51when they walk into the room and just sort of
- 10:53show up and have that confidence, but then also
- 10:55again, just not wearing all the all black, boring
- 10:58clothing to sort of stand out and own their own
- 11:01image. The first thing that we really do is discuss
- 11:04like what their values are and what they want
- 11:06to be known for, because your clothes are sending
- 11:09a message. whether you like it or not before
- 11:12you even realize it. Like Princeton just did
- 11:14a study, like first impressions are now formed
- 11:16in one tenth of a second. When I did my image
- 11:20coaching classes 10 years ago, it was 10 seconds.
- 11:23You have seven to 10 seconds to make a first
- 11:25impression. But now with our lovely cell phones
- 11:27and you think about how we scroll through social
- 11:29media, that's the amount of time span that we
- 11:32have to decide if this is someone that we want
- 11:35to pay attention to or if we're going to go and
- 11:36look at our phone or be distracted by the 7 ,000
- 11:39other things. So it's really about what is that
- 11:42first thing that I want people to think or feel
- 11:45about me when they interact with me and then
- 11:47have your wardrobe represent that. So a lot of
- 11:50my clients really want to come across as an authentic
- 11:53leader, or they want to come across as someone
- 11:55who is sophisticated or someone who is very,
- 11:59very innovative. So we quickly will figure out
- 12:02what are those visual cues that we could make
- 12:05sure that their clothing is sending. So that
- 12:08first step I would say is just to really know
- 12:10that your clothing is sending a message and what
- 12:12is that narrative that we want to have there.
- 12:15And the interesting thing that typically happens
- 12:17is I'll explain, typically their narrative that
- 12:21they want is the opposite of wearing all black.
- 12:25Yeah. Is wearing all black. So there's a reason
- 12:28why there's black tie weddings. There's a reason
- 12:30why judges wear black. Like judges wear all black
- 12:33because they're not supposed to have an opinion.
- 12:34There's black tie weddings because you're supposed
- 12:36to be on your best behavior. Black puts up walls.
- 12:39Color creates connection. So when you're kind
- 12:42of like, oh, I'm a leader that speaks about authenticity
- 12:46and really being in community and having conversations,
- 12:50but I'm not showing up as that person. They're
- 12:52like, okay, cool. Now what do I do? So it's really
- 12:55about like, what's that first thing? And then
- 12:57we really focus on that and then sort of iterate
- 13:00from there. I love that. And I am a hundred percent
- 13:03guilty. I definitely had a lot of black going
- 13:05on in my closet. And one time I went to a local
- 13:07boutique and Margaret, we actually did an episode
- 13:09with her early on and she's like, I picked out
- 13:12stuff and she's like, seriously, stop with your
- 13:14black. She was like, you're done. And then, you
- 13:16know, she was great. And she helped me to sort
- 13:19of get outside my comfort zone. And she picked
- 13:21up colors and clothes that I wouldn't have necessarily
- 13:23thought of. But then I was like, no, wait. yes,
- 13:25I like this, I feel comfortable. And it just
- 13:28kind of was like, we get so stuck and we find
- 13:30one style, at least I do that, and then I'll
- 13:32just buy multiples of it. So sometimes it's having
- 13:35that outside perspective. It can be like, hi,
- 13:37what are you doing? Let's try this purple, this
- 13:39blue. And I guess also part of that, too, is
- 13:42what colors look good on you and play into that.
- 13:44So it's like, I think we just don't think about.
- 13:48clothing. Because you have a million other things
- 13:50to think about. It's really interesting because
- 13:53the reason when I kind of will ask clients, like,
- 13:55how did we get to wearing all this black? And
- 13:58it's normally like, I need one less decision
- 14:00to make. And when I start going into my closet
- 14:02and trying things on, there's so much friction
- 14:05that it's easier to grab hold of that. But then
- 14:08knowing that it's not sending the right message.
- 14:10So what I help clients with is let's create your
- 14:13own brand. So let's make wearing the three colors
- 14:17be easier than picking out that black because
- 14:20you know how to wear the colors. You know the
- 14:22emotions that the colors are evoking. It actually
- 14:24is going to be easier for you to do that. than
- 14:27to fall back into the black and then with also
- 14:30knowing this is the message that it's sending
- 14:32and this is who I am and what I want to be known
- 14:35for is also making it so it feels really methodical
- 14:40and specific so it doesn't feel like this like
- 14:44heavy thing. That's awesome. So just take your
- 14:47typical corporate businesswoman. What do you
- 14:51splurge on and what are bargain items? You reset
- 14:54your closet. What's the system? How do you even
- 14:57approach that without going out and spending
- 14:59thousands of dollars to reset? The first thing
- 15:02is that it's super, super interesting is most
- 15:05clients come to me and they're like, oh, I have
- 15:07to throw away my whole entire closet. I hate
- 15:08it, da -da -da -da. Actually, you're not as bad
- 15:12as you think you are. you usually know what colors
- 15:16look good on you. You may not always gravitate
- 15:19towards them and black bees easier. And you also
- 15:21sort of have this concept of what flatters you.
- 15:24It's just you haven't been doing it in a way
- 15:26that's strategic. So it's like you buy one shirt
- 15:28and you always wear it with the same pants. You
- 15:30haven't been pushed out of it. So I would say
- 15:32the first step is always like, let's figure,
- 15:34let's just do the branding. And the way that
- 15:38I approach that with my clients is we do it from
- 15:40like consider it done. So like, what's your big
- 15:42audacious goal? how does that woman show up?
- 15:45So if you're like, you know what, I want to be
- 15:47in the C -suite or I want to be a professional
- 15:50speaker or I want my boss's job. Like, how does
- 15:53she show up? Because she doesn't show up being
- 15:55reactive and twisting herself into a pretzel
- 15:58and taking three hours to pack for a business
- 16:01trip. Like, let's paint the picture. Let's put
- 16:04together what are the tangible things that are
- 16:05associated. Let's figure out in your closet what
- 16:09speaks to that. And then where are the gaps?
- 16:12And so typically, when I work with a client,
- 16:15they typically are, let's say, 75 % there. I
- 16:19help figure out where are the big gaping holes,
- 16:23and then what are the things that we need to
- 16:25be doing to elevate what they're already doing.
- 16:27So maybe it's like a power piece or something
- 16:30that feels like a little bit more statement -y
- 16:33than they would typically wear or something that's
- 16:35tying it all together like a common thread. So
- 16:38it's hard to say these are the three things that
- 16:40you should have because that's where I feel like
- 16:42we end up with a closet full of white button
- 16:44-downs and trench coats that none of us wear.
- 16:47It really comes to what things am I utilizing
- 16:53and what things do I really need to enhance what
- 16:56I have that's sending that right message. That
- 16:59makes sense. Maybe it was just my switch in industry,
- 17:01like I said, when I first... the first 15 years
- 17:04of my career was very like professional dress
- 17:06skirts and nylons and tights and all that fun
- 17:08stuff. And then when I switched to the restaurant
- 17:10food industry and franchising, it was much more
- 17:13casual. So making that shift to, and I think
- 17:15some of it's just kind of timing, right? Like
- 17:17I would have never wore jeans back in the day
- 17:19to work, but. now that was acceptable. So when
- 17:22it comes to that, like a little bit more of a
- 17:23casual environment, how do you even approach
- 17:26that? Like how do you and business casual, nothing
- 17:28panics me more than when I see an invite to an
- 17:31event and it says business casual, you know,
- 17:33how do you, how do you approach that? The reason
- 17:35why business casual feels hard is because there
- 17:37is no real definition for it. Like it's, you
- 17:39know, guys have you wear Poles and a khaki or
- 17:42you wear this and that. And for women, it's a
- 17:44little bit different. And then there's this like,
- 17:46trying to compensate. But what the reason why
- 17:49it feels hard is that we feel that we feel complete
- 17:52in that formal. So like that feels polished,
- 17:55that feels sophisticated to us. When we go out
- 17:58of it, we feel frumpy and sloppy. And that's
- 18:00the word or dated or matronly. And that's like
- 18:03the opposite of what we want to do. So we need
- 18:05to figure out what are your benchmarks for polish
- 18:08and pull together. So you could still feel like
- 18:11you are elevated and putting your best foot forward,
- 18:15even if you're wearing something that's a little
- 18:16bit more casual. And for each person, it's different.
- 18:19So some of my clients really feel like their
- 18:22outfit is complete when maybe they are wearing
- 18:25a blazer, so they're going to wear jeans and
- 18:27a blazer. Or maybe they feel like they're pulled
- 18:30together when everything's monochromatic or super
- 18:32coordinated, or they're wearing a nice handbag.
- 18:35So it's also like a little bit of knowing what
- 18:38is those things that feel really polished. The
- 18:41other way I always say to approach business casual
- 18:44in a way that you feel like you're quote unquote
- 18:46wearing the right thing is through juxtaposition.
- 18:49So if you're someone who really likes wearing
- 18:51a blazer and that feels polished for you, maybe
- 18:54you're going to pair it with either like. tennis
- 18:56sneakers, or you're going to pair it with a t
- 18:58-shirt, or you're going to pair it with jeans,
- 19:00or if you're someone who's like, you know what,
- 19:02I really like wearing heels, then you could take
- 19:05off that third piece and wear the blouse. So
- 19:07I would say playing with formal versus informal
- 19:10is going to give a really nice balance in there.
- 19:13I like that. Yeah, sometimes I definitely have
- 19:15done that because it's like, well, then it can
- 19:16go either way. If you're not really sure how
- 19:18other people are going to be dressed up and you
- 19:19don't want to feel like you're underdressed or
- 19:21overdressed, that's kind of a nice hybrid, I
- 19:23think, from an approach. But here's the thing,
- 19:26and just not to call you out because it's what
- 19:28everyone else is wearing. We so care what everyone
- 19:32else is wearing. Oh, totally. Yeah, you're not
- 19:34calling me out. That's true. Because we're looking
- 19:35for the memo and whatever. But that's why I love
- 19:37the work that I do, because when you have your
- 19:39own brand and your own aesthetic, you don't care
- 19:43what everyone else is wearing. You're wearing
- 19:44the right thing for you. So I have clients that
- 19:48crave to be the most overdressed person in the
- 19:51room. They're like, that is me. That is my brand.
- 19:54I am so polished. I am so this. I'm this fancy
- 19:58pants and I don't care. And if that bothers someone,
- 20:01that's their problem, not mine. But they've done
- 20:02the work to get there. Yeah. Where someone would
- 20:04be, I'm so sorry that I'm wearing this. And then
- 20:09you immediately take your power. And then I have
- 20:11other clients that are like, I don't give a crap.
- 20:14I'm wearing sneakers. Right, right. Yeah. And
- 20:17that is their brand. Think about Mel Robbins.
- 20:20Mel Robbins got to the sneakers because she was
- 20:23standing on a stage and she was supposed to go
- 20:26speak on a stage and her heel broke and she went
- 20:28into a store. They did not have the right shoes
- 20:31for her, so she said, screw it. I'm wearing sneakers
- 20:34on the stage. That's awesome. And that became
- 20:36her brand. Yeah. With anybody who's stood on
- 20:38a stage, you know you want comfortable shoes
- 20:40on to begin with because standing in one spot
- 20:42for a long time is, the wrong shoes on is literally
- 20:45torture. That's so funny. Exactly. Be you because
- 20:48here's what ends up happening. If you were dressing
- 20:51for someone else's standard, you're in a room
- 20:53that you probably don't want to be in. Clothes
- 20:56are a magnet. Have your people find you. If you
- 20:59are like love leopard and all of that stuff,
- 21:01your leopard ladies are going to go find you.
- 21:03I used to do this all the time. I remember having
- 21:06this internal dialogue with me. I was going to
- 21:08speak at a law firm and I have this leopard pink
- 21:11blazer and I had it on and I took it off and
- 21:13I'm like, If they're not going to take me seriously,
- 21:17because they are a white glove law firm, because
- 21:18I'm wearing a leopard blazer, then they're not
- 21:21going to listen to a word that I'm saying anyway,
- 21:22and I'm not meant for them, and I'm not here
- 21:25to go find them another navy blue suit. So let
- 21:30them have them log off of this. Right. Before
- 21:34it even starts, that's the standard. This is
- 21:37who I am. I love that so much. That's so true.
- 21:40And you're right. I think I've gotten better
- 21:41at that with age and even probably as I had higher
- 21:44positions. But man, I remember that at the beginning
- 21:46being so panicked about being dressed wrong,
- 21:49like in those situations. Because we were shamed.
- 21:52Yeah. Someone was shamed at some point in time.
- 21:54Not us, then someone around us. And there's nothing
- 21:57worse. than when you wore an outfit that you
- 21:59thought was good, but you're just not comfortable
- 22:01in it. Like you felt like you're doing to fit
- 22:02in and whether it's not your style, maybe it's
- 22:04too big, too tight, whatever. Like there's nothing
- 22:07worse than that feeling of just sitting there
- 22:08and not being confident because you're uncomfortable.
- 22:10Like it just, you don't feel right. So let's,
- 22:14let's avoid that as much as possible. So speaking
- 22:16of casual, I want to also talk about this is
- 22:19obviously branding and presence is just and how
- 22:21you show up. Let's talk about virtual meetings
- 22:24because I think obviously over the last what
- 22:26five years we're up to where that has become
- 22:28so commonplace and you know I remember early
- 22:32on in the COVID days and even after people would
- 22:34show up for meetings like not the way they show
- 22:37up to work right like ponytail on top of your
- 22:39head, hot mess like sweatshirt hoodie like just
- 22:43not how you would show up in the office and it
- 22:45was kind of Like, okay, how do we handle this?
- 22:48Right? Or I'd be like, dude, show up to work
- 22:50like you show up at the office. Like how, if
- 22:53we want to have that good brand and that good
- 22:55presence, even through all the virtual meetings
- 22:57that many of us sit through, what's your recommendation
- 22:59for that? It's, it's funny. I just saw, I reposted
- 23:03something on LinkedIn. A woman fired someone
- 23:04because they were wearing a hoodie and it wasn't
- 23:07It was, they had multiple warnings and it was
- 23:10just sort of like, it was the straw that broke
- 23:13the camel's back. But here's the thing we all
- 23:15need to realize, the most important person we
- 23:17get dressed for is ourselves. Is that going through
- 23:20that process of figuring out what you need to
- 23:23happen throughout the day, how you're going to
- 23:25show up as your best version of yourself, like
- 23:28do it for you, like put perfume on, wear shoes,
- 23:30like go and play full out. And then the other
- 23:33thing also besides doing it for you is that if
- 23:37you were someone who only goes into the office
- 23:39maybe once or twice a week or once in a quarter
- 23:42like this is your FaceTime and this is your showing
- 23:45someone that I am. coming here and I'm, I have
- 23:49a full day's worth of work. If you look like
- 23:51you didn't take a shower, like people are going
- 23:53to think that you literally were playing with
- 23:55your kids two seconds before you hopped on that
- 23:57call. So really being like, I'm using my wardrobe
- 24:00to show people that I'm taking seriously. I'm
- 24:02telling myself that I'm taking myself seriously
- 24:04and I'm not saying you need to go sit in your
- 24:06house in a blazer, but that just means like being
- 24:08polished and refined and also having that presence
- 24:11that you really are wanting to take up space
- 24:15and really being someone who, you know, is coming
- 24:19to work and also being more magnetic. So think
- 24:22simple things like I have a few clients that
- 24:24what we do is we have like a few go to zoom outfits
- 24:28that they feel good. We know that they like look
- 24:31good on camera. So they're like in good colors
- 24:33because you think wearing black in person is
- 24:36bad. Wearing black on a camera is the worst thing.
- 24:38You look like you got absolutely no sleep. So
- 24:40wearing maybe like a jewel tone. Um, if you are
- 24:43wearing a print being, making sure that it's
- 24:45like a bolder print, like you can get someone
- 24:47real dizzy real quick by wearing a polka dot
- 24:49or something, there's some weird stripes. And
- 24:51just being really specific about like your necklines.
- 24:53Like you can look real, make it real fast. You're
- 24:56wearing a v -neck. So just kind of those three
- 24:58things is like color, print, neckline. Like though,
- 25:01like just thinking about those before hopping
- 25:03on a Zoom is going to really solidify and have
- 25:05more of a presence for your, your virtual wardrobe.
- 25:09If that makes sense. And lighting too, right?
- 25:11I think that's such a big piece of it. As I said,
- 25:14my little light makes me look a little lighter
- 25:17and brighter. I think it's important that, you
- 25:19know, I look like I'm awake and paying attention,
- 25:21whether it's recording a podcast or I'm eating.
- 25:23I think it's just feeling that you're here and
- 25:25present. You don't want to give people the impression
- 25:26that you're just disengaged or it's not important.
- 25:29I think that's the balance. Right. And it's funny
- 25:31too, because now that I work 100 % from home.
- 25:34I'm like some days if I don't have any calls,
- 25:36I definitely am like super casual But then I
- 25:39feel like I'm sitting there in my in my hoodie
- 25:41and my you know yoga pants and I don't feel as
- 25:43I don't know Professional or I'm not sure like
- 25:46I feel like if I get a little bit more dressed
- 25:48up So I have to leave the house that I feel like
- 25:49I'm more in my mode and that's just me everyone's
- 25:52different studies done that if you go and go
- 25:54through the motions of Getting dressed and putting
- 25:58your clothes on that you perform better. You're
- 26:00gonna ask the harder question like we act Like,
- 26:04people don't realize this. Like, clothes are
- 26:07the only physical form of, like, manifestation.
- 26:09Like, we've all heard, like, dress for the job
- 26:11that you want, not the job that you have. But
- 26:12no, like, it's not performative. It's like, I'm
- 26:15taking myself seriously. I've taken the time
- 26:17to pick my clothes in and feel good about myself.
- 26:20If you've gone through that process in the morning
- 26:23of, like, I am someone who... you know, works
- 26:26hard, who takes myself seriously. When you're
- 26:29having a difficult conversation with a colleague,
- 26:31you are going to do the thing that feels much
- 26:33more aligned with you if you're not in sweatpants.
- 26:36That makes sense. Okay, good. Then I'm not just
- 26:38making that up. All right. So tell me about your
- 26:41style code. Yes. So the style code really is
- 26:46just your own personal brand for getting dressed.
- 26:51So it really is like, it feels like getting dressed
- 26:54is all over the place. And this is really a methodology
- 26:58for you to know what to wear in each and every
- 27:01situation that you're wearing the quote unquote,
- 27:04right thing for you. So it's going through the
- 27:06process of like, what makes me feel confident
- 27:08in my clothes? What colors do I wear? What fits
- 27:10and flatters me? What are my outfit formulas?
- 27:13And then also just knowing like, I'm speaking
- 27:15on a stage, I'm wearing this, I'm doing a zoom
- 27:17call, this is what I'm wearing. It takes that
- 27:20like friction. out of what to put on for those
- 27:23things and just know that you're wearing the
- 27:24right thing in each and every situation. I love
- 27:27that because let's count how many times I sit
- 27:29in my closet and be like, what am I going to
- 27:30wear? What do I want to deal with? Like you just
- 27:32kind of get stuck in these ruts of not knowing
- 27:35what to grab or I just grab the same three things
- 27:38sometimes too. So it's kind of balancing that.
- 27:40Or saying that your closet that I have nothing
- 27:42in my closet when I need to go shopping. That's
- 27:44the other one is like we need to figure out a
- 27:46system to make our closet work for us because
- 27:49you've spent enough money. Sure. And then when
- 27:51you do go shopping, it should be something to
- 27:53enhance and elevate, not just buy the same thing
- 27:56that you already own and, you know, a different,
- 27:59not different, it's really just the same thing.
- 28:01Right. So how much do we let trends influence
- 28:04what we buy from season to season professionally?
- 28:07Sort of zero. But when you know what your style
- 28:11code is and how you add interest, you can quickly
- 28:13look at something and be like, ooh, that feels
- 28:16like part of my brand, or I'm excited about that,
- 28:19or this is how I would do it, bring it in. I
- 28:22think the reason why trends exist, and this is
- 28:25what I went to school for, I went to school for
- 28:26fashion merchandising. And the reason why a trend
- 28:29exists is that so every 15 days we could be selling
- 28:32something, someone different, and it keeps you
- 28:34on this hamster wheel in there. But when you
- 28:36have a strong sense of self, you aren't being
- 28:39swayed. I need to wear lime green pants tomorrow
- 28:43sort of thing. So once you have that, you could
- 28:45be like, oh, that feels like that would be something
- 28:48I'm intrigued by because the way that trends
- 28:51work is you see them five to seven times and
- 28:53then there's a foam of I don't own it because
- 28:55it makes you feel familiarity really, really
- 28:57quickly. And then it's like, oh, I'm not part
- 28:59of the trend. But once you have this internal
- 29:02dialogue to be like, Oh, I really like that color
- 29:05or that's never going to look good on me. It's
- 29:07a very quick cutter drive. I think the women
- 29:10that I work with, they don't want to look dated.
- 29:13They want to look up to date and current. So
- 29:15it's a way to like How do we add things to our
- 29:18wardrobe that we can wear for a few seasons,
- 29:22but are a little bit more through the lens of
- 29:24updating than trendy? And that's where I think
- 29:27that it's either like, let's buy something from
- 29:29Zara because I'm going to buy it and I'm going
- 29:32to go through it real quick, but I have all five
- 29:34things coming up, I'm going to wear it. Or like,
- 29:36you know what? I actually really like this and
- 29:38it is in a color that I would enjoy wearing.
- 29:41Maybe I will buy a $200 blazer on it. Yeah, that
- 29:45makes sense. Is there any pattern or texture
- 29:47that you think is just underused by senior women?
- 29:51I love leather. Oh. And I know it's like a lot
- 29:56of times. My clients are like, they get a little
- 30:00bit like, I don't know. Going clubbing? They're
- 30:03like, I can't wear leather. That's not allowed.
- 30:06And, but it can be weird in such a sophisticated
- 30:09way. And I love the way that leather is forgiving,
- 30:12but also has some great structure to it. So like,
- 30:16I love a leather blazer or I love a leather pencil
- 30:19skirt. To me, most of my clients are like in
- 30:24automotive or an aerospace industries. Like they're
- 30:27in like very technological, like innovative spaces.
- 30:31So having that like interest in there. Like shows
- 30:35like, Oh, I know what's going on. And so I personally
- 30:38think that it's underutilized. I also think that's
- 30:42like things that are like self and are a little
- 30:44bit more feminine or a great way to add like
- 30:46some interest in there. And I'm always a fan
- 30:48of like Tweed. I like the being able to have
- 30:52multiple colors in something. And really, like,
- 30:55I feel like there's certain like blazers you
- 30:57could wear like 15 different ways because of
- 30:59the few different colors that are that are in
- 31:01there, but not like old lady Tweed. the new cooler
- 31:05tweet. I know what you mean. I do have one of
- 31:07those. Yes, I have one of those blazers. Is there
- 31:10any items that you think instantly level up authority
- 31:13for women? I think that wearing things monochromatic
- 31:18and not feeling like you always have to wear
- 31:21that blazer. Like I think women feel like blazer
- 31:24security blanket. So I would say if you could
- 31:27find ways to feel like you have a complete outfit
- 31:30without necessarily that third piece, sure. If
- 31:32you're leading a meeting, like that's your power
- 31:34piece, wear it. But I would say like the monochromatic
- 31:38or like colored pants. because that's another
- 31:41huge thing that maybe you've launched, branched
- 31:44out from the black when it comes to a top, but
- 31:46you're so dead set on your black pants. So like
- 31:50one of the other things that I quickly do with
- 31:52my clients is like, let's get some burgundy pants.
- 31:54Let's have some hundred green pants. Like this
- 31:57season, like brown is really, really big. Like,
- 32:00so like to kind of start introducing some colors
- 32:03in some other ways, I think is a really strong,
- 32:06powerful look. Oh my gosh, this is so good. Melanie,
- 32:09this has been so awesome. So if people want to
- 32:12connect with you and work on their brand and
- 32:14their image and how to show up, how can they
- 32:15find out more? Yes. So I am on all the places.
- 32:19I'm on LinkedIn. I'm on Instagram. I am on TikTok.
- 32:22I have a free master class that really walks
- 32:24you through that style code. really figuring
- 32:27out what are those key components and how to
- 32:29figure them out for yourself. And the one thing
- 32:32that I know about all of this work is that definitely
- 32:34go check out the master bus. It is amazing. However,
- 32:37having someone walk you through this process
- 32:40and stretching you is more powerful than you
- 32:43ever realized because there is enough information
- 32:47on TikTok, on YouTube, whatever thing, you could
- 32:49all figure this out yourself. Like this is not
- 32:52like if you wanted to, but you need the implementation
- 32:55and the tweaking and the feedback and making
- 32:58it you. And all of the information is actually
- 33:01really overwhelming. You need the right information.
- 33:04for you in a way that feels a little stretchy,
- 33:06but not too scary. And that's really where I
- 33:09come in and I do like those little like baby
- 33:11steps and that like portability and like, let's
- 33:13try this next, let's try this next. And that
- 33:16is really that beautiful process of you finding
- 33:18yourself through your style. I love that. And
- 33:21I think there's so many things that we get too
- 33:23close to, and this is one of them. I think you're
- 33:25too close to it. You're too in your closet. You
- 33:27need that outside perspective of someone who
- 33:29at least helps you. make you take a step back
- 33:32and like, okay, let's look at this. By the way,
- 33:34women are so self -critical. Oh, totally. I was
- 33:36like, I'll have a client and they're literally
- 33:38going on and on and I'm like, I don't notice
- 33:41your stomach. I'm like, I'm saying this with
- 33:44so much love, but you've just went on for three
- 33:46minutes about your stomach and I don't see it.
- 33:51No one is looking at it. So true. We are very
- 33:55critical. That's so good. Well, thank you so
- 33:57much for being here. We'll link everything on
- 33:59our website. And this makes me want to go check
- 34:02out my closet and give you a call. My pleasure.
- 34:05Thank you. The importance of building your brand
- 34:07continues to be reinforced. And as Melanie shared,
- 34:10people form an opinion about us in one tenth
- 34:13of a second. One of the quickest ways to influence
- 34:15and start building your personal brand is by
- 34:18being intentional of the wardrobe you are wearing.
- 34:22Because as we know, if you don't build your brand,
- 34:24somebody else will do it for you. For more leadership
- 34:27development for women and career growth, please
- 34:29subscribe to this podcast and follow us on Instagram.
- 34:33Keep climbing the space you've earned and stay
- 34:35loud and lifted.