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Episode 156: Why Do I Have to Clean the House Before a Party · Death by Multimedia

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  This is thoughts from the metal cabin, where only one opinion
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  matters, and it's not yours. As we've begun to come out of
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  weeks and months of covid, lockdowns, and isolating for
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  days or weeks on end because family of caught the virus,
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  we've all slowly come around to realizing that it would be nice
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  to have get-togethers. Do you remember them?
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  They were events that you may have organised to celebrate a
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  family members Milestone such as a birthday or anniversary.
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  What to invite some friends over.
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  But just to see them in person again and Converse with them
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  face to face rather than over FaceTime or Zoom.
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  Yes, these things used to occur. But you know what?
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  There are some things about those events that I do not miss
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  and to be fair I had sort of forgotten about and one of those
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  was the preparation that goes on for several hours before the
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  event begins. And then the aftermath of that
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  evening and into the next day and that will be the basis of
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  today's conversation. The pros and cons of what goes
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  on before. And after home, Gatherings on
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  today's episode of thoughts, from the middle cabin,
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  G'day there and thank you for tuning into this very important
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  conversation because we're all going to start going through all
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  this again and it's not something that any of us have
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  ever really had to do for at least two years if not a little
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  bit longer and that is the preparation for events.
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  Now whether that's a birthday party for anyone in your
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  household, you know, major get together with friends or coming
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  over and family, more than you would normally have.
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  Whether it's just to get together with friends in
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  bringing, I have a if you're a married person may be having
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  couples over for an evening or if you're not entity to single
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  and you're inviting, all these single people over to listen to
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  all your latest pop records. And yeah, that's what exactly
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  what I think happens at those things.
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  Correct. But what goes on before it and
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  why does that have to happen? Because it never ceases to amaze
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  me when we get to this point. Where we're organized an event
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  that gets put on the calendar and it says, write the event is
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  about to happen and we get to that day and we think.
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  Okay, so they're all turning up at about let's say 4:00 and
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  before that the whole house is just It's chaos because not only
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  do you have to make sure that you prepare everything all the
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  food that's coming in and all that kind of stuff.
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  So you've got to have the snack foods for the performers and
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  whatever then you better have the meal and what the male is
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  and and how you're going to prepare that who's going to cook
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  this and do that and whatever. And then you've got to worry
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  about how much food you actually have.
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  I mean, how many Gatherings do you have where you have?
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  Mountain of food left over after the event.
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  Seriously, think about it. Is there any time ever where you
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  sort of thought? Yeah, we're a little bit short
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  on Foodies are not. We've want to stuffed up, don't
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  think that's ever happened, even when it comes to just ordering
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  pizza, you just order pizza for there and somehow you order 13
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  pieces and then, at the end of the night, you've still got four
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  and a half beats is left that you're trying to shove into the
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  fridge so that you can eat over the next three days.
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  Or if you've got kids, it's gone for breakfast the next morning.
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  But then you've got the cleaning of the house.
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  So the house has to be prepared and that means everything's got
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  to be cleaned. You've got to get in.
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  You got to do all the washing for some reason.
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  You must do all the clothes washing and make sure that
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  that's done because you can't have any dirty clothes hanging
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  around in your laundry. You need to do the vacuuming and
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  vacuum the entire house and Show that even the rooms that nobody
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  is ever like we're going to, which would include a bedroom, I
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  mean why would you go into a bedroom?
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  Yes, I know what you're thinking, but I'm 52 years old.
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  That hasn't happened for a very long time.
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  What about upstairs? Rumpus rooms.
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  And I know walk-in wardrobes and you know things like that, even
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  on squid bathrooms really, who's going into someone's ensuite
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  bathroom unless you are absolutely.
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  Desperate. So all of that's going to be
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  done. You need to spend two hours,
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  making sure you clean all those. And then you've got to clean the
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  toilets. The toilets thing is fine.
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  I understand the reason behind the cleaning of the toilets,
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  before parties, but everything else.
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  Why do we have to do all this? Because then you get to the end
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  of the party. So everyone comes over, they
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  have a great time to leave you bitter, and then everybody
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  leaves and you look at the house.
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  Now is it is The way it was when the part before the party
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  started. No.
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  Is it worse than it was before you started cleaning that
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  morning. It is worse.
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  Yes. So why does so much effort go in
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  to cleaning the house before the party?
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  If at the end of the party, at the aftermath of the party, your
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  house is a complete betrayal shape, a garbage pile, not fit
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  for human living. Does it make sense to spend five
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  hours of your life before a party cleaning?
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  To get to the point that after the party?
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  You need to spend seven hours in actually cleaning the house
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  again because it's much much worse.
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  And it doesn't just have to be for parties or any of that.
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  Let me just having your family up just having your extended
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  family over. You've got to have everything,
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  so but is it like that when they go, he's everything done is the
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  yo, other kitchens clean is that washing up done?
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  Is everything still in place from where it was before?
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  Or they know there's no tracking of anything over the floors toil
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  to lift in pristine condition. So if that's not going to happen
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  for your family, or for your friend, why, why do we have to
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  spend so much time before the party doing exactly what we're
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  gonna have to do after the damn party?
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  Tell me. Dirty.
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  Who are you? Who am I?
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  I'll tell you who I am. I'm the cleaner.
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  Okay. So what's the solution?
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  Well, there is no solution. Unfortunately, if you are
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  married, you will do as you're told and you will make sure that
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  this house is clean and tidy and perfect because that's what your
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  partner wants. And if your partner wants that,
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  then you just do it. Because as they say happy wife,
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  happy life, doesn't always work that way.
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  Way. But there you go.
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  But is there a solution? Do you have to make your house
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  sparkling before an event just to have to do it all over again?
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  And the answer to me is completely, no, not an argument.
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  I will ever win and I understand that it's been 29 years now.
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  So, why should that change anytime in the near future?
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  For move the solutions you do the wool was clean.
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  Now, what do I mean by the world wars clean?
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  The wool was clean, is you don't have to make the house sparkling
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  and make it a show home. All you need to do is give it
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  the appearance. That is that?
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  So you have to clean toilets. Absolutely.
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  Clean the damn toilet. How long does it really take 15
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  minutes ago and clean all the toilets in your house?
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  50 minutes of you've got seven toilets.
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  So yes, you clean the toilets. What about the bathrooms?
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  Yeah, you give them a wipe down because you want someone to walk
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  into your bathroom and think I'm actually going to make myself
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  clean. Not walk out having made myself
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  dirtier. What about everything else?
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  What about vacuuming to the house to the inch of death?
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  Well, no really what you need to do.
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  Tidy. Yes tidy.
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  Just put things away. You don't have to have shoes
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  lying around, that's understandable.
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  You put them in cupboards. You don't have to have
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  basketballs and cricket bats longer in.
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  They go where they're supposed to go in the first place, but
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  they never do. So, you actually just put them
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  in a site where someone will never see them, what about
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  everything else, you've got bookshelves and and you know,
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  cupboards and all that kind of stuff.
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  Well yes, you just put things out of sight and if they're out,
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  Out of sight, then people come into the house.
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  Think, oh, my goodness. This house is clean because
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  they're not looking for how much dust is on the top of cabinets.
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  They're not looking for how sparkling the door of the fridge
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  has all they want to know is walk in and see that.
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  Oh, I'm not going to stand on a spike and you have to go get a
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  tetanus shot. Or I'm going to put my hand on
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  the wall and come off with crayon and crap on it.
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  All they want to know is that everything is tidy.
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  So tidy is the Word not clean. So why do we continue to do this
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  to ourselves? Because we're human and because
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  we marry people who have wonderful ideas of this kind of
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  thing. And then we just have to follow
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  through with them. And it never ceases to amaze me
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  because we all do it. We all get in a situation where
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  we clean the house before the party and we all pretty much
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  complain about it as we're going, God, do we really have to
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  do this? Can I just do these little bit
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  here? Can I just do that?
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  No it has to be done properly right?
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  We do it all properly and we all complain about it because we
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  don't really want to have to do it and then we get to the end of
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  it. We look at the house, we think.
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  Well that's lovely. It looks terrific.
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  Wasn't that worth it? And the answer is generally.
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  Yes it is. But then, we look at the house
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  the next day when we get up and we think what the bloody hell.
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  Did we just spend five hours doing this for because now we've
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  got to do it again. And then the complaining is
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  worse because you've already done it once and especially when
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  you got kids and you ask them to help and they think God did this
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  yesterday. Why do I have to do it again?
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  Look at the house. Yeah, but what do we do it
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  yesterday then? That's a fair call.
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  An affair comment in one that I have also said for many, many
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  years. So, we get to that point again.
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  And we spend another five hours doing it, we sit down, we think.
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  Ah, Christ. Let's have a drink and then we
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  say, ah, okay, it's Sunday night, let's get ready to go.
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  Back to work, crazy, it's crazy. And we continue to do it and we
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  keep doing it. And then at the end of it, as if
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  this afternoon, we say, maybe next time, we'll do it
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  differently. Do you really think that's going
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  to happen? Well, so in today's episode of
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  thoughts from the middle, Kevin, and thank you for joining in and
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  listening, and hopefully it's given you something to consider
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  and discuss among your own group of enthusiasts or housemates or
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  family. And don't forget if you have any
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  thoughts on this topic or any topic that may be raised on the
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  program, feel free to drop Salon or a voice message in our
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  website. Anywhere social media, whatever
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  it is and we can discuss it later on.
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  Anyway, thanks for tuning in and hopefully be back for the next
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  riveting episode of thoughts from the middle cabin.
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  You have been listening to a metal, Kevin production.
• 13:10
  You have been listening to a metal, Kevin production.