Latest / Your Money, Your Rules | Financial Mastery, Wealth Mindset, Leadership Principles, Intuitive Decision-Making, Human Design / 174 | Why I No Longer Use These 3 Phrases About Money and Time

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174 | Why I No Longer Use These 3 Phrases About Money and Time · Your Money, Your Rules | Financial Mastery, Wealth Mindset, Leadership Principles, Intuitive Decision-Making, Human Design

0:00
Erin Gray: Today I am going to be sharing three phrases that I no longer allow myself to say, and I lovingly coach and mentor clients to do the same.
0:09
Erin Gray: These are phrases that I grew up just rattling off, you know, from my lips, not even questioning it.
0:15
Erin Gray: And I think and I feel like in the body, they are very disempowering.
0:20
Erin Gray: You know, we have to remember, I think so many of us actually don't believe, don't know how powerful we are, how potent we are.
0:26
Erin Gray: And our language, our words, they carry a frequency.
0:30
Erin Gray: And if we were to truly believe that, I think we would use a different choice of words to describe ourselves, to describe where we are in our life, where our business is going, like all the things.
0:43
Erin Gray: Let's make the commitment to ourselves that moving forward, we are only going to utter words and speak words that represent love and that are supportive to us, that are empowering, and are ones of sufficiency and abundance.
1:00
Erin Gray: So these phrases are I can't afford this, this is expensive, or it's too expensive, and I don't have enough time.
1:06
Erin Gray: And today I am going to be sharing why I stopped saying them, why I coach clients not to say them, and then what to say instead.
1:14
Erin Gray: So let's dive in.
1:15
Erin Gray: Oh, I'm so glad to be back.
1:16
Erin Gray: I've been missing you.
1:18
Erin Gray: I, you know, was off the last couple of weeks.
1:21
Erin Gray: I had so much fun with my family.
1:22
Erin Gray: I was anticipating to go skiing, but there has been no snow here on the mountains.
1:27
Erin Gray: Or if I should say, if there is snow, it's very little snow and it doesn't, it's not really the kind of snow that I want to be skiing on.
1:33
Erin Gray: So maybe January is going to be different.
1:36
Erin Gray: I wanted to also, I also wanted to say that this month's workshop, I am going to be hosting it.
1:41
Erin Gray: It's all going to be about the intuitive download that I got was all about feminine leadership and play.
1:47
Erin Gray: And I don't mean feminine leadership as in feminist leadership.
1:50
Erin Gray: I am not on that bus at all, but more softness, feminine energy and play and joy and fun and why we need to be playing.
1:58
Erin Gray: That has been a topic that had come up before we went on break with several of my clients.
2:04
Erin Gray: And I think that that kind of is like this undertone that is actually happening in the collective.
2:09
Erin Gray: So we're going to be talking and discussing why we all need to be playing, the eight different types of play, um, how it calms the nervous system, and then how it actually increases our capacity to receive.
2:19
Erin Gray: And I think all of us can increase our capacity to receive, or we can work on our receiving muscle.
2:25
Erin Gray: So the workshop is gonna be like it was last time.
2:28
Erin Gray: It's gonna be held live on Zoom on Thursday, January 15th at 10 a.m.
2:34
Erin Gray: Mountain Standard Time.
2:35
Erin Gray: And I will include the link in the show notes for you to register.
2:38
Erin Gray: Love to see you there.
2:40
Erin Gray: First and foremost, let's talk about all of these phrases that I mentioned above.
2:44
Erin Gray: They all are thoughts and beliefs.
2:47
Erin Gray: They aren't actual facts.
2:49
Erin Gray: You know, they might actually feel they in your body, they might feel true to you, but they aren't.
2:54
Erin Gray: If you were to actually look at the facts, that might not be correct.
3:00
Erin Gray: And at the end of the day, the question I always ask myself are the words, are the beliefs that I am believing and thinking and saying and acting from, is this actually supportive to me?
3:11
Erin Gray: Is this helpful?
3:12
Erin Gray: Is this empowering or is this disempowering?
3:15
Erin Gray: And so if it's not, then I immediately am aware of that.
3:19
Erin Gray: And then I start to think about what is a belief or what are some words that I can use that would be empowering and supportive.
3:25
Erin Gray: You know, I have had clients myself, this has been my own journey, you know, that have millions of dollars in their investment account, bank accounts, whatever it might be, businesses are at, you know, millions of dollars.
3:37
Erin Gray: And they will tell me that they can't afford something.
3:40
Erin Gray: And they say this as if they aren't even thinking about it.
3:45
Erin Gray: It is just something that rattles off their tongue.
3:48
Erin Gray: And that was the story that I had probably up until about six years ago.
3:53
Erin Gray: Like I would always say, like, we can't afford it, even though we could.
3:56
Erin Gray: It was a very disempowering phrase and belief to have.
4:00
Erin Gray: So when you say, I can't afford this, you are literally cutting off your supply.
4:06
Erin Gray: Go back and listen to my podcast.
4:08
Erin Gray: I think it's episode 168.
4:10
Erin Gray: It's called The Law of Supply for Prosperity.
4:13
Erin Gray: To really understand in detail what I'm referring to about supply, the law of supply that is a universal law.
4:19
Erin Gray: But I can't afford that comes from a very limited mindset.
4:22
Erin Gray: It is not a growth in an expansive, abundant mindset.
4:25
Erin Gray: So I'm not, you know, one of these.
4:28
Erin Gray: Obviously, I have definitely gone on my spiritual journey and I am very spiritual and I am very emotional.
4:35
Erin Gray: And when I say I'm not delusional, sometimes I feel like some of the spiritual world is a little delusional.
4:41
Erin Gray: And yes, I am delusional in the sense of like, I'm delusional of like, I believe all the things, but delusional in the sense of like sometimes I feel like the spiritual, some of the, some of the spiritual crowd, you know, is like, oh, I can just sit on my couch and I can, you know, just manifest.
4:54
Erin Gray: Uh I'm not in that boat.
4:56
Erin Gray: But I will say that I do not use language that does not help me get where I want to go.
5:04
Erin Gray: So if we're being actual, factual, like let's just use this as an example.
5:09
Erin Gray: Right now, I do not have the funds in my account to have two houses.
5:14
Erin Gray: But that is one of my goals, and that is one of my heart's desires that I want to have.
5:17
Erin Gray: Like I want to have a house on the ocean.
5:19
Erin Gray: Maybe it's going to be Maui again.
5:21
Erin Gray: Maybe it's not.
5:21
Erin Gray: I don't know, but I know that's something that I really desire.
5:25
Erin Gray: But I would never say I cannot afford those two houses.
5:28
Erin Gray: What I would say is I'm so excited for the day that I get to have a vacation home and our home in Boise.
5:35
Erin Gray: Or I might say something like, it's going to be so fun when we have two houses.
5:39
Erin Gray: I'm so glad that I am the woman that I have become who I need to become in order to have two houses.
5:46
Erin Gray: Like I imagine having two houses in my mind.
5:49
Erin Gray: I already think about and I've already kind of like drafted what is the amount of money that I'm going to be circulating between, you know, having this a Boise house and also a Maui house or wherever it might be by the ocean.
6:02
Erin Gray: You know, like I'm I'm creating the demand in my mind already of like, okay, what is that amount of money that it is going to be?
6:09
Erin Gray: And that energy in my body feels very expansive.
6:12
Erin Gray: It feels very allowing.
6:14
Erin Gray: It feels like in possibility and in having money, right?
6:19
Erin Gray: Being appreciative of having the money that I do have and I'm going to be creating more money.
6:25
Erin Gray: It comes from a place in my body.
6:26
Erin Gray: It also comes from a place of like knowing, like, oh man, it's going to be so fun.
6:30
Erin Gray: And certainty.
6:31
Erin Gray: And certainty in I'm going to have this, not in the certainty of not having.
6:37
Erin Gray: And I think a lot of us move from the energy of or the assumption of not having versus of having.
6:44
Erin Gray: So I'm always looking at where am I going, not where I currently am.
6:51
Erin Gray: You know, I tell clients all the time when we like look at their financials, what what your PL is showing me is in the past already, right?
7:00
Erin Gray: Who you are, what you are creating is we haven't seen that PL yet.
7:06
Erin Gray: So always be thinking from your imagination, from the end, where you're going, right?
7:12
Erin Gray: What you want to create, and not using language like I can't afford this.
7:17
Erin Gray: The next phrase would be, this is expensive or this is too expensive, too expensive.
7:23
Erin Gray: And this is all, you know, like the law of relativity is just basically, you know, like something is big or small compared to something else, right?
7:32
Erin Gray: Like we have to compare it to something else in order to say it's big or it's small.
7:36
Erin Gray: If I were to show you, I'm like looking at my desk, if I were to show you, like my daughter takes Polaroid pictures, right?
7:42
Erin Gray: And so this Polaroid on my desk of her is maybe three inches by two inches, maybe it's four inches by two inches.
7:51
Erin Gray: That picture is smaller to a four by six, but the only reason why it's smaller is if I compare it to a four by six.
7:59
Erin Gray: If I compare it to an even tinier photograph than the one that's currently on my desk, then that's a bigger picture, right?
8:06
Erin Gray: So you have to look at like what are you comparing your price to?
8:11
Erin Gray: Expensive to you might not be expensive to somebody else.
8:15
Erin Gray: You know, whenever I'm talking to friends or clients and they say this, I immediately will ask them, what price are you talking about?
8:22
Erin Gray: Like, stop talking to generalities, stop just saying your belief.
8:26
Erin Gray: What is the actual price?
8:28
Erin Gray: Because I want to know that exact amount or the actual amount because I want to know what they think is expensive.
8:34
Erin Gray: Because when we're talking about actual amounts, that could be more than what I'm willing to pay, or it could not be.
8:40
Erin Gray: But you won't know if you speak in thoughts and generalities over actual facts and price.
8:46
Erin Gray: So when you say something is expensive, what you're really saying is, and this is it could be many of these things, right?
8:52
Erin Gray: It could be I don't want to let go of the money that I have for the price that they're asking for, right?
8:58
Erin Gray: Or you're thinking the price that they're asking is too high for what I'm willing to pay for this.
9:04
Erin Gray: It all comes back to also value, right?
9:06
Erin Gray: Do I value the price that they are asking for what the good or the thing I'm going to receive in exchange?
9:15
Erin Gray: You know, and it can be, like I said, any thread along those lines.
9:18
Erin Gray: But really, when you say it's too expensive, and it could also be when you say it's too expensive, you could be just like, that's outside what you're used to spending, right?
9:27
Erin Gray: If you're used to staying in a$400 night hotel and you start staying in a thousand dollar night hotel, you might say it's expensive, but maybe your normal stay is$400 compared to a thousand.
9:39
Erin Gray: I also want you to pay attention to when you're thinking about cost, you're not thinking about value.
9:45
Erin Gray: So if you're saying something is too expensive, what you might be saying is, I don't value that thing more than I value the money in my account.
9:53
Erin Gray: And that is a good question to ask yourself.
9:56
Erin Gray: You know, are you just going off of the cuff and you're just so used to saying that's so expensive?
10:02
Erin Gray: Have you actually stopped to ask yourself, do I value this?
10:05
Erin Gray: Do I value having this thing over the money in my bank account?
10:10
Erin Gray: Or is it, do I, you know, is this used to, is this dollar amount outside what I'm used to spending and circulating?
10:20
Erin Gray: And this is just a little bit of a bump up for me.
10:23
Erin Gray: So you really have to get more clear and start asking yourself, like, what is this?
10:28
Erin Gray: Instead of saying it's too expensive, does this actually align with what I want to do or not do?
10:34
Erin Gray: And do I value paying the price that they're asking?
10:38
Erin Gray: I say this all the time with my daughter.
10:39
Erin Gray: Sometimes I don't actually value paying the price for clothes that they are asking because I know where it's made, right?
10:46
Erin Gray: If it's made in America or if it's made by like a family, like I recently, it's been several months, but I recently bought these pairs of shoes.
10:53
Erin Gray: And the shoes were made in El De Spain, which is in a region in Alicante, like along the Mediterranean.
11:00
Erin Gray: But it is made from this third-generation family, like the grandfather started the shoe business.
11:05
Erin Gray: And now the the grandson and the granddaughter own the business together on the same land that the grandfather started it, and that's where the factory is.
11:13
Erin Gray: That's like where everything is made and designed.
11:15
Erin Gray: Like there, to me, number one, the shoes are amazing.
11:19
Erin Gray: They feel so soft.
11:20
Erin Gray: And two, like there's history behind it.
11:23
Erin Gray: There's like, I love paying for those shoes because I know that that is going to that specific family, right?
11:30
Erin Gray: And so you have to, someone might look at that and be like, oh, well, those shoes are too expensive, or though those, you know.
11:37
Erin Gray: But when you really, for me, when I looked at it, is like I will gladly pay those$600 for those pairs of shoes because I know who's making those shoes.
11:46
Erin Gray: I know who's designing those shoes.
11:48
Erin Gray: I know where those shoes are made and how much pride is being put into those shoes.
11:54
Erin Gray: So this can also look like, and when, you know, sometimes this happens when clients, people in general, you know, like hiring for your business, you know, when you look at it from the lens of this is too expensive, you're thinking from, and all of these phrases, right, are going to be based more so on lack than they are sufficiency or abundance.
12:12
Erin Gray: And so when you're thinking this is too expensive, are you thinking from lack and not asking yourself, do I value what they're going to help me create in my business?
12:22
Erin Gray: Maybe they're going to free up your time.
12:23
Erin Gray: Maybe they're going to free help you free up mental space.
12:27
Erin Gray: Maybe they're going to, you know, by you not doing like there are things that totally drain my energy and that I outsource.
12:34
Erin Gray: So what are the things that you want support in your business doing?
12:40
Erin Gray: And you're saying it's too expensive.
12:41
Erin Gray: But like, think about what you could create with that amount of time and space and mental space and energetic space.
12:48
Erin Gray: What you could you create dollar amount wise in your business to pay for some support that you are withholding or not giving yourself?
12:57
Erin Gray: And that's the way that I always like to look at hiring or paying for someone is like, how is it going to add to it?
13:03
Erin Gray: Like, here you go back to demand and supply, right?
13:05
Erin Gray: You're creating more demand.
13:07
Erin Gray: So then the supply has to come, number one.
13:09
Erin Gray: And two, when you are having someone help you, it's like, how does that actually increase your income, not a taking away from?
13:18
Erin Gray: And then the final one is I don't have enough time.
13:21
Erin Gray: So when people tell me, oh, I don't have any like money, money stories or money issues, first of all, I believe everybody's got money stories, money things, right?
13:28
Erin Gray: That's that we all have been influenced, right, by money in some way, form, or fashion.
13:34
Erin Gray: But when you say you don't have enough time, it's very similar.
13:37
Erin Gray: It's still along the same because ultimately the umbrella is are you operating from lack or are you operating from the feeling of having and sufficiency?
13:45
Erin Gray: And if you're operating from lack, then it's going to show up in time, it's going to show up in energy, it's going to show up in money, it's going to show up in love, it's going to show up in relationships, it's going to show up everywhere.
13:54
Erin Gray: So I don't have enough time that ties in the same way, right?
13:58
Erin Gray: Because it boils down to the lack.
13:59
Erin Gray: It's about it.
14:00
Erin Gray: And it also, I think, is a sneaky way.
14:02
Erin Gray: It's an abdication of your sovereignty or around your time, right?
14:07
Erin Gray: We all have the same amount of time.
14:09
Erin Gray: Like time isn't real, and then time is real.
14:11
Erin Gray: So let's go to the 3D part, right?
14:13
Erin Gray: Where time technically is 24 hours a day.
14:15
Erin Gray: So we all have 24 hours in a day, but we're all choosing to use our time differently.
14:20
Erin Gray: Some of us actually pay more attention to our time and we use it.
14:24
Erin Gray: I don't want to say wisely, but let's just go with that word, more wisely.
14:28
Erin Gray: And some of us whittle away our time.
14:30
Erin Gray: And then we wonder like, where did the day go or where did the week or the month or the year go?
14:35
Erin Gray: And so it is a choice of how are you spending your time.
14:38
Erin Gray: So the thing that I want you to think about is how do I want, I would encourage you first and foremost, like I said, stop saying it.
14:48
Erin Gray: Number one, notice when you say it, stop saying it.
14:51
Erin Gray: Also, to maybe do a time audit.
14:53
Erin Gray: Like actually do a couple of days of where is your time?
14:58
Erin Gray: Where are you using your time?
15:00
Erin Gray: And you know, people will tell me sometimes, like when they send me emails or they'll call me and they'll be like, I know you're very busy.
15:07
Erin Gray: And I'm like, I'm not busy, actually.
15:09
Erin Gray: Like, I let that go.
15:10
Erin Gray: Like, that is not a badge of honor that I carry anymore.
15:12
Erin Gray: Like I used to say I was busy all the time and all this woe is me, right?
15:16
Erin Gray: I don't say that anymore.
15:17
Erin Gray: I do say that my plate is full and I live a very full life and my calendar is full, but not from the place of overwhelmed or pressure.
15:25
Erin Gray: But like everything goes on my calendar, it's everything that I want to be on my calendar.
15:29
Erin Gray: And if I don't want to be doing it, it's not on my calendar.
15:32
Erin Gray: And so the question that you can be asking yourself is how do I want to create more time for myself?
15:39
Erin Gray: How do I want to create time for this?
15:41
Erin Gray: Like if it's something that you really care about, I've been thinking about taking a hip hop class.
15:45
Erin Gray: And I'm like, okay, where do you want to put that on your calendar?
15:48
Erin Gray: Do you actually want to go at, you know, in the evening time to do that?
15:52
Erin Gray: Do you want to make time during the day to do that?
15:54
Erin Gray: Because you don't really like doing stuff after like six o'clock at night.
15:58
Erin Gray: Like, so I'm really been thinking about like, how do I want to create time for this if this is something that is valuable to me and this is something that I want to try?
16:05
Erin Gray: So when you think about how do I want to create time for this, what do I want to let go of and or add to, you know, so that I can add this to my calendar, really start to think about how do I want to add or create time in order to have what I want to have.
16:21
Erin Gray: So if you want to do something, and this has been the shift, the biggest shift ultimately that I have really embodied is it's not I can't have something, it's how do I, how do I receive it?
16:33
Erin Gray: How do I create time for it?
16:34
Erin Gray: How do I create the money for it?
16:35
Erin Gray: Like I used to look and see, okay, the 3D world says my accounts say this.
16:40
Erin Gray: So how do I fit myself into that expense, right?
16:43
Erin Gray: Those expenses or that that type of lifestyle versus no, this is what I want and this is what it's going to cost on a monthly basis to maintain.
16:53
Erin Gray: Now, how do I create the money to go have what I want?
16:57
Erin Gray: So if you do want to do something, you're always going to have time for it.
17:00
Erin Gray: Like we we prioritize things that we truly care about.
17:03
Erin Gray: And sometimes I think this is also going to be an excellent exercise for you, is for you to see what do you actually say you don't value, but you actually do because your time will show you, right?
17:16
Erin Gray: How we spend our money, how we spend our time, I should say circulate, not spend it because it's not gone, but how you circulate your money, how you allocate your time will show you where your priorities are.
17:28
Erin Gray: If you say that I really care for my health, but you don't ever go to the gym and you don't ever take time to plan your meals and eat good food and sit down at the table and not be at work and actually eat, you might intellectually say that you care about your health and you want to work out and you want to do these things.
17:48
Erin Gray: But what you're actually showing is that you haven't actually taken on the identity of that person that actually does that.
17:55
Erin Gray: Because the person that does truly believe that and does move from that place would be going to the gym on a consistent basis, would be, you know, eating and planning, meal planning or whatever that might look like, right?
18:08
Erin Gray: You're caring for your body in your meals.
18:11
Erin Gray: Okay, so find some phrases for you that feel really empowering, play with it.
18:16
Erin Gray: Notice when, like, what are the situations that come up when you say you can't afford it?
18:21
Erin Gray: Is it just something that like I'm really starting to hear, like how often my daughter's friends say things like that, like, oh, that's so expensive?
18:28
Erin Gray: Like when they're, you know, like about take them to Target or to the mall or whatever.
18:31
Erin Gray: And so just really start to pay attention.
18:34
Erin Gray: Where am I saying either I can't afford it?
18:37
Erin Gray: It's too expensive, and I don't have enough time.
18:39
Erin Gray: So that you one, notice where you are saying it, stop saying it.
18:44
Erin Gray: That is the first always awareness.
18:47
Erin Gray: And then what are some more empowering and supportive phrases that you actually want to begin saying so that you can embody being a person that is coming more from the having and the and the sufficiency over the lack.
19:01
Erin Gray: And and start, I would leave you with start noticing your language because it is powerful.
19:06
Erin Gray: But when you truly start to see how powerful and potent you are, you will start to be very mindful of the language that you use.
19:15
Erin Gray: Okay, my friends.
19:16
Erin Gray: I love you.
19:17
Erin Gray: I'll see you in the next episode.