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5 - It's Your Funeral! (What is the worst way to die?) · Arguing Ever After

0:14
Hello and welcome to Arguing Ever After.
0:17
I'm Luke and this is my lovely wife, Amber.
0:19
Hello. Together we are the Lord and
0:22
Lady who lock horns. The counting Countess of
0:25
contention. The Duchess and Duke of
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Disagreement. And the king, Queen of quarrels.
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We have been together since Jolt was the drink of choice for most
0:33
high schoolers, and we've argued about practically everything.
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And yet we're still together and happy.
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We have a great teenager who currently doesn't think we're
0:41
lame even after having started a podcast, and most of our
0:44
families still talks to us on purpose.
0:47
In this entertainment only podcast, we will bicker about
0:50
all things big and small and the audience gets the final say on
0:54
who the winner is. We do not claim to be
0:57
relationship experts by any means.
1:00
We will debate lots of things, many of which are submitted by
1:04
our listeners. So if you have a topic you want
1:07
us non professionals to battle over before you try it out in
1:10
your own house, please send it to us at
1:12
arguingeverafter@gmail.com. Perhaps it's completely
1:16
unscientific way of letting the masses decide on who is correct
1:21
can settle your fight before you even have it.
1:25
So Luke, we've had some storms lately and, and I was after
1:33
these storms, of course, trees come down.
1:36
And right afterwards, Luke's so excited when a tree comes down
1:41
because he gets to use his chainsaw.
1:44
And I was working on cleaning up the leaves and things like that.
1:48
And Luke says to me, Amber, come over here because I need you to
1:53
stand by the ladder in case I fall.
1:57
And I wondered, what am I gonna do if you fall?
2:01
Am I supposed to catch you? I'm not gonna be able to catch
2:04
him falling from a ladder with a chainsaw in his hand.
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I don't think that I should be trying to catch you falling from
2:09
a ladder with a chainsaw in his hand.
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And so just the utter insanity of that.
2:15
And he said, well, you could call 911.
2:19
This is Luke's reaction or, or his statement to anything where
2:24
I'm like, what are you expecting me to do?
2:25
Well, you can call 911. Yeah, emotional support,
2:30
potential emergency first aid kit treatment, and a phone call
2:34
to the to the professionals if we need them.
2:38
He'll be working on the roof on something, you know, usually
2:41
Christmas lights and same thing. He's like, just just make sure
2:45
if you see me fall off the roof that you call 911.
2:50
I don't think I've fallen off the roof in a long time.
2:53
I didn't know you ever fell off the roof.
2:55
Well before we were together. Oh OK, well Luke is kind of a
2:59
daredevil so I'm not too surprised.
3:01
I am the exact opposite. I understand that man is mortal
3:06
and I probably don't do things because I know that you could
3:12
die from doing some of these things.
3:15
Luke has, what, jumped out of an airplane?
3:18
I don't remember how many times, but it's like just two.
3:21
That's two times more than I would ever want to jump out of
3:23
an airplane. And he's.
3:24
Yeah. What else did you do?
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You you jumped off some building in Las Vegas.
3:29
I did. I had, I mean, there was a cord
3:32
attempts to me. So it wasn't just I jumped off
3:35
of a building. Yeah, it was the Stratosphere
3:37
Hotel, just 1000 feet tall, and it was great.
3:41
It was actually scarier than jumping out of an airplane at
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13,000 feet. I cannot imagine that either of
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those are not just equally scary.
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And there'll be many times where we're like, Luke, Luke, don't do
3:52
that. Don't.
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You're gonna die. Don't do that.
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And he'll still do these things where he's like, I'll just pick
3:57
up a random snake even though you're afraid of snakes.
4:00
Or there's a great video of that.
4:02
We could share that with our listeners maybe.
4:04
Maybe sometime we could. That is a pretty good video, but
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also it will excite me. We were in Florida and I had no
4:10
no no idea. The snake was an unknown and it
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was in the swimming pool and me and my daughter were trying to
4:17
go swimming. So I thought I should get the
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snake out of the pool and I did and everything was fine and
4:22
nobody got hurt in the making of that video.
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Yeah, I mean, I think the snake did actually.
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No, you did Chuck it pretty far. They have small brains, it's
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probably fine. They're bouncy.
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Well, and I just, I cannot imagine, well, little Luke and
4:41
how many times your mom must have been like, OK, this kid
4:44
gonna die, you know, I mean, just inevitably this kid is
4:48
gonna die. There were a handful of hospital
4:50
visits because I have always had the daredevil streak in me.
4:55
See, it sounds like you're jumping into danger where
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sometimes when I was a kid and I had some accidents, it was truly
5:01
not that I was well, OK, I wasn't jumping into danger
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knowing like that like you were, you know, I.
5:08
Liked it? Yeah, I did not enjoy getting
5:11
injured or. I've actually jumped off of a
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roof on purpose. Well, yeah, I've never.
5:19
And trees and you know. It was a short roof, but I
5:22
wasn't jumping. It was a nice easy climb down.
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So. But certainly there are times in
5:29
life where you think, I don't know, maybe, maybe not.
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Maybe it's just me. But you're like, Oh my God, I'm
5:35
gonna die. I'm gonna die no matter what, no
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matter what it is you're doing. I was thinking about this the
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first time in my adult years where I was thinking I was gonna
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die. I was laying in bed and all of a
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sudden my heart was hurting so bad.
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And I was like, I, I was, I was so scared.
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And I was begging, Luke, please, please take me to the hospital.
6:00
I'm dying. And he was like, no, I'm not
6:03
gonna take you to the hospital. That's true.
6:05
And what was the reasoning? Because you had heartburn.
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I've never had it before. It was terrifying, so I wasn't
6:14
sure. You were like 20 and you thought
6:16
you were having a heart attack. I'm like, you're not having a
6:18
heart attack. You just have heartburn and you
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were so mad. I was so mad.
6:23
Who doesn't take their significant other to the
6:26
hospital when they're like, I'm sure I am dying?
6:28
Consequently, in a similar but role reversal event, I thought I
6:34
was dying of a heart attack when I had broken some rib area
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things you. Didn't break a rib.
6:41
Bruiser rib cracked a rib, whatever it was after a mountain
6:45
biking incident where I didn't quite complete a jump correctly
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and I said I think I'm dying of a heart attack and you brought
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me to the emergency. I brought you to the emergency
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room. That's very kind of what you do
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when someone says I'm in trouble.
7:00
That's just simply what you do. But it's not as often.
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I think you must, you must be facing death and having those
7:10
thoughts more often than I do. I just, I can't, I can't come up
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with too many times where I've been like, I'm sure I'm going to
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die. I mean, I think everybody's had
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like maybe not had an opportunity where you got
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injured and you're like, oh, do I still have a hand, you know,
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or whatever it is and you're kind of scared to look if did I
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actually lose a finger or something?
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My one very memorable brush with death was not jumping off of
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buildings or airplanes or. You know, I mean that those are
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absolutely brushes with death. I'm just telling.
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You I got hit by a truck one time, human versus truck, and I
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was scared then that was but I was more scared.
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There was one time at our old house where I woke up in the
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middle of the night. I had some sort of cold where I
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was like all super Fleming and like, you know when you get a
8:01
cold and it's like gross and there's like thick anyway, it's
8:06
gross and and I have sleep apnea.
8:10
There's a whole nother story. So I woke up in the middle of
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the night and I literally couldn't breathe because all of
8:14
my Airways were plugged with phlegm or mucus or something so
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I couldn't. Sorry everybody, this is
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disgusting. Too much information for sure
8:23
but we were talking about brushes with death and this was
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1. I literally got to the bathroom
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and I could see my face in the mirror was turning like darker.
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Like I don't know if turning blue is like a thing but I could
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not breathe for whatever I don't know for however long while I
8:40
was asleep and probably about 30 seconds after I woke up.
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It felt like way longer than that, but I went to the sink and
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I turned the water on the hottest, scalding burning
8:50
temperature I could, and I stuck my face under it.
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And I was trying to, like, gargle so that I could free up
8:56
my airway. And thankfully I did, because it
9:00
was the middle of the night and there wasn't like, no 911 call
9:03
would have made me make it through that.
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So thank goodness for hot water and a whole bunch of panic.
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Suffocation is a scary thing to ponder.
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Absolutely it is. It sure is.
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Well, and I think, I don't know, I think that because it is like
9:22
the inevitable thing, right? Death is inevitable.
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Inevitable. We're all going to end up there.
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We all will end up there. It's it's one of those things
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that's kind of a scary concept, right?
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You know, like how, how it could happen or anything like that,
9:36
you know, but for me, one of the things I've thought about is
9:42
it's going to sound really weird to people, but I've, I've
9:46
thought about my funeral, right? And what I wanna do for my
9:52
funeral, you know, And I remember The Golden Girls, there
9:56
was an episode where Blanche pretended that she was dead so
10:00
that everybody, she could see what everybody was gonna say
10:04
about her. And then of course, you know,
10:06
like they were mad at her. But I, I don't wanna do that.
10:10
That I don't wanna do, but I do want to have a memorable
10:14
funeral, you know, not like one of those like, oh, that was such
10:17
a beautiful service. I don't want everybody crying at
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my funeral, right, because I don't I don't want that.
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I want it to be kind of like a party.
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I want it to be a thematic party.
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And my favorite theme of all time is Halloween.
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So I want to have a funeral where I tell well, I guess I
10:37
probably won't because I'll be dead, but where whoever is
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planning my funeral will say, you know, come however you want,
10:45
preferably in costume because that would be the most memorable
10:50
funeral. I bet anyone who would attend my
10:54
funeral would be at and you know, we could have like I have
10:59
so many decorations, you know, whoever doing it, they.
11:02
Could just empty out the garage. For you.
11:04
Yeah, Yeah. And just put up all the
11:06
decorations so you don't have to worry about buying flowers or
11:09
anything like that, you know? Creepy looking Halloween themed
11:13
flower sets. We sure do.
11:15
We sure do. Yeah.
11:16
And like there could be candy because we.
11:19
Have a Butler I'll be. So excited to show you all some
11:25
things when we're closer to Halloween.
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But the other thing is there gonna be candy there.
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And I used to think, and I still do, but I really think like,
11:35
cremation is a pretty reasonable way to die.
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But I think at my funeral I don't want to be cremated yet
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because I also want to be attending in costume.
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Oh boy. And I am wondering if I could
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have like little fangs. Someone's gonna be like are.
12:00
You alive? Yeah.
12:01
Is she coming back? I know.
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Oh man. Wouldn't that be hilarious?
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And then like when people come, when they turn, they're either
12:08
gonna have one of two looks like absolute horror, like, who the
12:11
heck does that? Or laughter.
12:15
We could even. Make like Amber that just a
12:17
silly thing. Maybe by the time this happens,
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first of all, we have an agreement that you haven't
12:22
agreed to that you have to go first because or wait, I'm going
12:26
to die first because I don't want to deal with your funeral.
12:28
So maybe this is all going to be put upon our daughter and she
12:31
might actually enjoy parts of it.
12:32
Not the death part, no, but the. But the Halloween party, maybe
12:36
we could get like a life-size cut out of you as a real
12:40
vampire. Or maybe by then, like 3D
12:41
printing will have come along. Or we could get like a Madame
12:44
Tussaud wax of amber as a vampire and then like move you
12:48
around so people see the vampire dead amber.
12:53
And then you're like, all of a sudden your wax statue is in
12:57
some other room and somebody goes in there and they're like,
12:59
oh, Nope. And they leave.
13:01
That would be amazing. I just really like the last
13:04
party I attend. I want it to be a good one.
13:08
We probably sound really sick right now.
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Well, I mean, who knows me a little bit, probably realizes
13:16
that I'm a little sick. But you know, who wouldn't?
13:18
Who wouldn't remember that? You have promised to haunt our
13:21
daughter to the end of her days in a loving way.
13:24
In a loving way. In a loving way, Yeah, yeah,
13:27
yeah. As much as I can, you know, But
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I just think if it's, if it's about me, which I think my
13:33
funeral kind of would be sure, then it should be about
13:36
something that I love. And I really like the little end
13:41
joke, you know, of having the little things.
13:44
I don't know if a if a mortician would agree to it so.
13:50
I feel like if you pay a mortician enough they would do
13:53
whatever. Yeah, yeah.
13:55
Like maybe they'd be like, that's stupid.
13:57
Give me 5 grand and you'd be like, well I set aside 5 grand
14:02
for fangs. Yes, realistic looking fangs.
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Actually, no, I want them to be the big cheesy like ones that
14:09
you get from like when you're trick or treating those big
14:12
white cheesy ones, you know, just really great.
14:15
I think it'd be so fun. And maybe that could be like a a
14:19
funeral party favor too. Everybody gets their own fangs
14:21
afterwards, 'cause I mean, doesn't everybody have like you?
14:25
Have thought way too much about this.
14:27
You know, it's my last party. Things I have not thought about
14:31
at all. My funeral.
14:33
It'll happen. Somebody else can figure it out.
14:35
I'm not interested. I just don't want it to be sad.
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However, I just I think it'd be fun to do that.
14:45
But you know, like again, when you when you think about those
14:48
things, you know, how how is 1 dying?
14:51
You know, and I don't want to talk about all the like really
14:54
realistic ways that people die in really sad ways, you know,
14:59
but I want to like talk with you a little bit about some of the
15:04
more absurd ways that one could die or obscure just just because
15:14
since it's inevitable, you know, like there's there's some ways,
15:17
you know, people will talk about, you know, people when
15:20
they see these pictures of really cute animals in the wild
15:23
that are super deadly, right? You know, and they're like,
15:26
that's how I'm going to go. That would be me.
15:28
I would be the person who's like.
15:30
You're like Elf in the movie when he goes and wants to pet
15:33
the raccoon. Yes, yes, for sure.
15:36
And. Somebody need a hug?
15:38
Right they're so cute I mean, and and it just it almost seems
15:42
unfair that there are so many adorable little animals like
15:46
lynxes and and there was this video of this one kind of cat I
15:49
don't. Remember, I think they're
15:50
terrified. They are, if you've ever gone to
15:53
the zoo and seen one walk like we have.
15:55
Look right into your soul. They do, and they're stalking
15:58
you the whole time. But I mean, you just look at
16:01
them when they're just sitting there peacefully.
16:03
That's true. I mean this I would be one who
16:05
would die from just being. We have like a picture art thing
16:09
in our bedroom of a length I just.
16:11
Remember that? Yeah, very cute little peaceful
16:14
critter. Until they're not, Yeah, Until
16:17
they're not. And you know, that might be one
16:19
of the reasons I don't actually go out in nature, because I
16:22
would a. Honey badger, They're cute and
16:24
they do not care what they will fight a lion.
16:27
They don't even care. Yeah.
16:29
Yeah, it's just, it's unfair. Why are they so cute?
16:32
You know, I mean, you don't want to stay away from them.
16:35
The ugly ones. Yeah, like ugly animals.
16:38
I have no desire to hang out with an alligator.
16:41
I mean, actually we have gone like on these swamp tours and
16:47
stuff like that. And when you see them in the
16:50
water, they actually are kind of cute.
16:53
But I'm safe in a boat or, or one of those airboat things, you
16:58
know, they're not coming after me.
17:00
I think I would be absolutely terrified to see one of those
17:04
dinosaurs on land near me. They definitely can run faster
17:08
than me and I I I know that I don't think I would be like
17:13
great, I want to hang out with you.
17:15
You're. Not like Steve Irwin.
17:17
I'm not. I'm not.
17:18
I did want to do that for a long time, though.
17:20
I wanted that. I wanted that job.
17:22
And it isn't Speaking of animals.
17:26
It's not going to be all about animals.
17:28
But when I was a few years ago, I did have a wonderful
17:33
opportunity to volunteer at a zoo.
17:36
And I was a zookeeper's assistant and I worked in the
17:40
Aquatics building and they happened to have polar bears.
17:44
And I, my job was to get their food together on the days that I
17:49
worked. And so they ate all sorts of
17:52
fish and things like that. But when I would come by, they
17:59
associated me with the smell of food and so you would see them
18:03
or I would see them. You wouldn't see them because I
18:05
was on the other side. You couldn't see me and but they
18:08
would just be sniffing the air 'cause I was food and I was
18:12
like, oh, if they got out, I'm dead.
18:15
I'm dead so quick because I smell like what they are
18:19
referencing. Didn't you see you fled?
18:21
The Fed them something called blood balls, No?
18:23
No, no, I didn't ever feed them physically, but yeah, there was
18:27
there was some blood balls that I don't know what it was called.
18:30
I don't know, it just that's what it looked like.
18:32
They, they're, they're they. They eat.
18:36
Blood they eat effort. I mean they'll eat anything, so
18:40
humans are not excluded from that, but they sure are cute.
18:44
But I mean it does get you down the road of you know, that could
18:48
be a way to die. You know, I I could be eaten by
18:52
a polar bear and I mean I but I feel like it'd be quick.
18:59
I feel like I would, you know, I mean, again, going back to well,
19:04
OK, I'm I'm now a part of the circle of life for this guy.
19:08
However, they usually go after those animals.
19:11
So I wouldn't really necessarily want that for him.
19:13
But I don't know what other what other ways of dying.
19:17
Oh, so many. I mean the ways to die.
19:23
I mean, I bear that's scary. There's other I mean, like
19:29
almost any natural a creature that's a predator in its own
19:33
environment is sort of terrifying.
19:36
You got like wolves, pack of wolves.
19:40
I would die from a wolf because every time I've seen one, I'm
19:44
like, it just looks like a dog. I really think I would not see
19:47
that. It's a wolf, yeah.
19:49
Or like what about like a pack of like a chimp pack troop?
19:53
Oh they are strong and scary, I've seen.
19:57
Those documentaries. I woke up in the middle of the
20:00
night one night to they they kind of were living in gangs and
20:05
they were attacking A chimpanzee and it was the scariest thing
20:08
I've ever woken up in the middle of the night to on TV.
20:12
Like the screeching sounds? Oh, it was.
20:14
It was horrible. Horrible.
20:16
I would not. Yeah, No, no, no, Nope.
20:18
They're too strong. Too strong.
20:22
You know, the other one too. I think about sometimes some
20:27
bonkers deaths and that I've seen on TV.
20:29
Not real, you know, but fictitious.
20:32
And there was ATV show I used to watch and the ending of the
20:36
show. The guy got gored by Bold.
20:40
I was like, that would be pretty awful because you're not going
20:43
to outrun that thing, you know? Getting a giant bullhorn shoved?
20:49
India. Yeah, yeah.
20:50
Oh, and just it's sort of interesting to see what
20:53
Hollywood comes up with and their obsessions, right?
20:57
Like when we were kids. Oh yeah, quicksand.
21:00
Quicksand. Every cartoon had it every.
21:02
It was in the movies, everything.
21:05
I don't know why it was in the never ending story.
21:07
This is just stuff I can remember Never ending story and
21:12
I don't know if that was quicksand but our tax the horse.
21:15
Most tragic death in cinematic history for kids in the 80s.
21:19
I don't even remember it. I must have blocked you.
21:21
Blocked it out cuz it's trauma they had in The Princess Bride.
21:25
My one of my favorite movies. Epic, epic movie it was in.
21:31
I think it was in scooby-doo like every other episode.
21:34
Somebody was in quicksand. I don't remember that in there,
21:37
however. I feel like though, we're all
21:39
prepared. The Mummy.
21:41
Pretty sure it was in there it. Could have been the mummy.
21:43
There's a lot of sand. I've never seen quicksand in my
21:46
life. Sand.
21:47
Is it even real? I don't know.
21:49
And if it's real, does it like do what do they do in the
21:51
movies? Like you land in it and then you
21:53
just sink in it and someone's got to rescue you with the right
21:55
kind of stick. I have no idea but I feel like
21:58
all Gen. Xers are ready for it and maybe
22:01
some late millennials or what are what are we called geriatric
22:04
millennials which I hate that term.
22:06
How about zennials? I have no idea if they know
22:09
about quicksand. Well, that's AX.
22:12
It's the bridge years. Oh OK, 808079 to 80.
22:15
I don't know, I don't keep track of this stuff because I'm not at
22:18
a war with anybody for sure. I mean, but then there's some
22:22
medieval things that are just like, oh, they were really sick
22:26
in the medieval times, like the ways they thought of, of killing
22:30
and torturing or like I think about, you know, the impaling.
22:36
Glad the Impaler we're back to vampires again.
22:40
Oh, full circle. Full circle for you folks.
22:45
I think the worst medieval one I could think of is being drawn
22:48
and quartered, which I if I remember right from who knows
22:52
what I've seen, they tie big ropes around your arms and your
22:57
legs and they put four horses that just walk slowly in
23:02
opposite directions to RIP you to like in pieces.
23:06
Oh, I don't like that. Because arms and legs just
23:09
ripped right off. I feel like those horses are not
23:12
willingly involved in that. I feel you know well.
23:16
For sure, they probably were being prodded on by some sort of
23:20
executioner style horse keeper. I don't like that at all.
23:24
I don't like that at all. I used to be really irrationally
23:29
afraid of spontaneous combustion.
23:34
The thought of just like waking up on fire and just dying with
23:38
nothing else around you being on fire.
23:40
Like you're like, where's the fire?
23:42
Oh, I am the fire. You.
23:43
Are the fire. However, I did a little extra
23:47
research on that at some point when I was just like, how does
23:51
it happen? How does it happen?
23:52
Yesterday. No, no, no, it's a while ago.
23:54
Because it really, it really has been one of those things I'm
23:57
like, how do I stop from spontaneous combustion?
24:00
Like what, what can I possibly do to prevent that in my life,
24:03
you know? And so I did a little bit more
24:05
research and it, it really doesn't, they pretty much think
24:10
it doesn't happen, right? That it's something else, most
24:14
likely. Like you would have to have
24:15
enough flammable something inside of you and some sort of
24:19
random errant electrical spark. And like, yeah, it's not, it's
24:23
not happening. It doesn't happen.
24:25
I mean like and and there are 0 confirmed deaths from
24:30
spontaneous combustion. So I think if there's 0
24:33
confirmed deaths in history, known history, I can probably
24:38
check that off. It's not.
24:39
I don't need to be afraid of it, you know?
24:43
I don't know. Did did you hear?
24:44
I feel like I heard a lot about that when I was.
24:47
That was also like one of those, kind of like a quicksand.
24:49
It was like a fad everyone was talking about.
24:51
I don't remember for how long. I don't think it lasted as long,
24:54
but everyone talked about spontaneous combustion for like
24:58
a while. I was stuck in my head,
25:00
absolutely. It didn't go away.
25:02
They're just some things that when you think about or you
25:04
hear, you're like, oh, I'm afraid of that.
25:07
You know, one of the things you were talking about was being
25:10
buried alive. And they used to have that
25:13
little bell. The the bell.
25:17
I don't remember what time period, but they'd have a bell
25:20
on a on a string. Just like during the plague or
25:23
something. Maybe and.
25:24
I thought everyone was just dead.
25:26
I don't know if it was. I mean it was a Victorian times.
25:29
I don't remember. I mean, it was somewhere.
25:31
In a coffin. Yeah, so there'd be a string
25:34
Whoa up to the top, and if you weren't dead, you'd ring this.
25:39
Wait, the bell was above the ground?
25:41
Yeah. So that you could tell the the
25:44
groundskeeper talk. About some stories in the
25:46
graveyard, like, oh, we're going to the graveyard to visit old
25:49
Aunt Millie, and then you're just walking around.
25:52
Ding, Ding, Ding, Ding. I would take off.
25:54
I'd be like, it's zombies, I'm out of here.
25:58
Oh no. No, but I mean they they must
26:01
not have had a really good way of wait.
26:02
How come they don't do that anymore 'cause they're for sure
26:04
that you're dead. They're real sure you're dead,
26:07
OK? The amount of, I mean.
26:09
And if you're getting buried, the embalming and all of it,
26:12
you're dead. You can't live through the
26:14
poisons. They're running through your
26:16
body. They couldn't live through the
26:18
the, the whatever the the burn tube where they make you into
26:22
ashes. No, not.
26:24
Living through that either. No, not with cremation, you
26:28
know, And that's the thing, like if I'm dead, I want to make sure
26:31
I'm dead. Don't just throw me in a hole
26:33
and think that, you know? So that's why I really, I do
26:35
like the idea of cremation after my final party.
26:39
Yes, you know. After the party.
26:41
After. The party?
26:43
Yep. Yep.
26:46
Well, Luke, I guess this is the time for me to ask you a
26:51
question. And now, the moment you've all
26:55
been waiting for in this corner, claiming to weigh in at 135 lbs
27:01
with we believe the tallies are still out.
27:04
They. Are still out.
27:06
Two wins and two losses were at a tie people and showing up to
27:12
date with her amazing fresh haircut.
27:14
Thank you. Thank you.
27:17
She's ready to battle. All right, and in this corner we
27:21
have Luke, who was weighing in at 185 lbs and sporting a
27:26
glorious red beard. He was.
27:29
He's ready to fight today on the topic of worst way to die.
27:36
The worst way? The worst way?
27:39
So Luke, let me ask you a question.
27:42
What do you think is the worst way to die?
27:48
Caveat. Not real, like likely more
27:52
obscure, right? Obscure way to die.
27:55
Like, it'd be really no fun to have a debate about whether it
27:58
was worse to die from a heart attack or cancer.
28:01
Obviously. Those are pretty normal.
28:04
Not great, but you know. Well, in some light research on
28:10
the topic prior to this episode, I remembered a few and thought
28:17
of a few and searched a few and there's a bunch and it's hard to
28:22
pick. Some of the ones I thought of
28:25
was like one of them was getting eaten by something, which I will
28:32
reveal later because it's my ultimate topic.
28:35
But then that went on a little tangent of like things that can
28:38
eat you to death or injure you to death, and murder Hornets
28:43
came up. They're like the size of a
28:46
Hummingbird. They're native to Japan.
28:48
These freaks are real. If you haven't seen any videos
28:52
of them and you want to be terrified, just search murder
28:54
Hornets on the Internet. They're literally you can hear
28:57
them coming like a drone. Like they buzz and they like the
29:03
one sting from a murder Hornet is allegedly.
29:07
I mean, I don't know because I don't live in Japan, but it's
29:11
enough to kill a grown a grown human, weren't they?
29:14
Like migrating here or something?
29:16
There was like, I mean, maybe there was like a brief thing in
29:19
2020 when everything happened, like COVID and murder Hornets
29:23
and aliens and all kinds of stuff was happening.
29:27
They did say like murder Hornets had reached Seattle, I think, or
29:31
something, or Hawaii, something in the USI don't actually know.
29:34
Hawaii would be a heck of a lot closer to Japan than us, but
29:40
terrifying nonetheless. They live in packs of like 20 or
29:43
30 of these giant bird sized stingy death machines and they
29:48
attack honey bees and they eat them.
29:50
They're carnivores. They.
29:52
Need to leave the honey bees? They don't.
29:54
They think they're tasty, tasty snacks.
29:56
So I think that that would be a pretty terrible way to die.
29:59
Getting stung by murder Hornet and other stingy creatures.
30:01
I remembered I watched on some. I was really into the Discovery
30:05
Channel like a long time ago, maybe 15 years ago.
30:10
Back when it was good, but when were?
30:12
They it was like, it was like nature stuff all the time.
30:15
Yeah. Like they had stuff about
30:17
natural habitats and creatures and earth and seasons and now
30:21
it's like almost 100% reality shows, which is fine if that's
30:26
your thing, but it's not my thing.
30:28
So one of the things I watched was about the Amazon and I
30:33
learned about the thing called a bullet Ant.
30:36
And it's called a bullet Ant cuz when they sting you, it feels
30:38
like you've been shot by a bullet.
30:42
One of the descriptions that I read said that it's the, it said
30:47
it's a, a, what does it say? Brilliant.
30:51
Pure pain that feels like you've you've stepped on a hot flaming
30:57
coal with a three inch nail being stuck into your heel.
31:02
And I was like, what? It's allegedly worse feeling
31:07
than a murder Hornet sting, which is crazy to even.
31:11
Think about they even know that. I'm going to guess.
31:14
I mean did one person get bit by a bullet Ant and one person that
31:19
same person got stung by a murder Hornet I.
31:22
Probably like I'm so I don't know for sure, but they're like
31:28
the. So this was in my searching and
31:29
I don't remember the name of it, but there's some sort of like
31:31
pain in and there has to be like there must have been some crazy
31:36
person like that. What was the show where they did
31:39
all the dumb stuff? Jackass.
31:41
Yes, Jackass. So there's probably some crazy
31:45
person who was like, Oh yeah, I'll raise my hand to be the guy
31:50
that gets stung by a murder Hornet and see what happens or
31:53
all yeah, let's let's have a bullet Ant go for it.
31:56
How much would you need to be paid to do that?
32:00
A lot. Like, I mean, if it feels like
32:02
getting shot, I feel like that's pretty terrible.
32:04
Might require a hospital visit, right?
32:07
I don't know man. Like that's if I were to offer
32:09
you $10,000, would you do it? Oh, I mean, that's a lot.
32:13
So yes. Yeah, yeah, OK.
32:15
I would not be happy about it each, but 10 grand's, 10 grand,
32:18
yeah, that's some dope. I'd let you do it for 10 grand.
32:20
Thanks, what about you? No, no sting from a murder
32:23
Hornet. No.
32:25
You're just out. $10,000 that's not that much money.
32:28
Oh, look at you Miss thing over here.
32:30
I. Would I would hold out if
32:31
someone's going? Off 10 thou.
32:34
If someone's willing to offer. I'll tell you what, I would take
32:36
it for you. I'd take the sting.
32:38
I'd be like, she's weak, I'll take the sting.
32:40
Oh well, no, I would say smart. OK.
32:43
I've done some things that would prove I'm pretty strong.
32:47
That's true. So, you know, kind of like that
32:50
great mic drop several females in this world have of
32:56
childbirth. It's more than several.
32:59
People it's not all so anyhow I'm so I don't think that I just
33:03
think that I'm smart enough to avoid pain and if you're willing
33:08
to do it for $10,000 I mean why would.
33:10
I we did establish that I was a daredevil, right?
33:13
So if I get to do something for a whole bunch of money, I'd
33:16
probably be down. Yeah, I'd let that happen.
33:19
Also it might increase my natural pain threshold because
33:21
I'd be like well it's not a bullet Ant sting so I'm gonna be
33:24
OK. I know when that when you're on
33:26
that pain chart at the hospital, they'll be like.
33:29
Yeah, what if 10 is bullet Ant everyone be like I'm at A1.
33:32
Yeah, yeah, yeah. So to answer your earlier
33:35
question, what I believe to be a potentially realistic way to
33:42
die, but probably the most terrifying and worst way to die
33:48
would be to be eaten alive by hungry rats.
33:54
Caveat you would. Have to be to do with Bullet.
33:57
It didn't. OK, just dying in general.
33:59
OK, so so caveat you would have to obviously be restrained in
34:03
some fashion. So this is some sort of like,
34:05
creepy torture deal because if you had your arms and legs, you
34:08
wouldn't be eaten by rats. You'd be able to like, I don't
34:11
know, kill them or kick them out.
34:13
Well, there'd have to be a lot. I have seen movies where that's.
34:16
Happened. Yeah, that's what I'm saying.
34:18
Thousands of based on factual. Hollywood Factual.
34:22
Hollywood Data. They can swarm you in.
34:24
Well, thank you for supporting my case.
34:26
I I. Yeah.
34:28
So you're welcome. I mean, I think that the thing
34:30
that would be the worst about that is 1.
34:33
I mean, it's a bunch of. Rash.
34:35
Oh oh. One, it would be a slow death
34:39
because they have little bitty mouths.
34:41
It wouldn't be like, well, you talked about a polar bear
34:44
earlier. Like, I feel like that would
34:45
suck, right? But they are so really cool,
34:48
like. When you think about it like
34:50
that. Would not be cool.
34:51
There's gazillions of rats out there, but like one polar bear
34:55
like. This is not OK.
34:57
I feel like it's a little bit more epic way to die.
35:00
You'll have your turn. That's not my vote.
35:02
Though in any event, one, it would be a slow death because it
35:07
would take a long time for their tiny little rat mouths to bite
35:09
enough of you to kill you. And I don't know, like would
35:12
your actual cause of death be pain or blood loss or some?
35:17
I don't know. I don't actually know.
35:18
But like, I mean, I've heard stories about people that were
35:21
like tortured, like in the like in the military, they got
35:26
captured by the enemy and like rats would like be nipping at
35:29
their little toes and fingers while they were trying to sleep
35:31
in between tortures and stuff and these little prison cells.
35:35
I mean, just that alone is creepy.
35:38
But like thinking about having to be your device of doom is
35:41
even like creepier. And like, would they have to get
35:45
to like a main artery before you die?
35:48
Do they just chip out way a little, all the bits of your
35:52
skin and body and they're just, it's oh, it's so gross.
35:57
And then you hear their little squeaks.
35:59
Oh God. And then like you feel their
36:02
little scratchy claws on you and their little bitey teeth.
36:06
I'm getting creeped out just thinking about it.
36:08
And then at some point somehow you die.
36:10
It'd either be from blood loss or like maybe you'd go into
36:13
shock and just get your heart would just be like, I'm out.
36:16
Boom, you're dead. So for me, that would be the
36:21
worst way to die. There are many millions of other
36:24
choices, but I feel like that's it for me.
36:28
I feel like there's a technicality here.
36:30
OK. That I don't know that anyone
36:34
has that has been their cause of death.
36:36
I feel like it's usually an infection or something like
36:39
that, so that's just my guess. So based on your guesses, you'd
36:44
like to bring up the technicality?
36:46
Yes, Interesting way to debate. I mean, I'm just, I'm not even.
36:50
I'm just saying, that's all I'm saying.
36:52
If we were in debate class, that'd be tossed out.
36:54
I don't know. No basis in fact.
36:56
I feel like I could then Google and see however.
37:00
Well, here we are. So you're going with potential?
37:05
No, no, for sure the cause of death is being eaten alive by
37:09
rats. I just OK, so when I was
37:12
thinking about my topic, I was thinking about things that
37:16
terrify me right? That like in the beginning of
37:20
our episode, I was thinking about Luke, Lex Heights, and one
37:26
of the things I'll never do is jump out of an airplane or jump
37:29
off of a building because like, the odds of dying are greater
37:34
than not doing that. Greater than if you stay at
37:37
home. Yes, that's true.
37:39
So. Well, maybe that's not true.
37:41
I don't actually know. I don't have a fear of heights.
37:44
I have a fear of falling. So I was thinking that would be
37:48
awful because I'm definitely afraid of falling.
37:51
I don't like heights because that's how I mean that's and not
37:55
short distances. I mean, falling from a great
37:57
distance, but I got to thinking it wouldn't be as bad as
38:04
something else because you know where the end is, right?
38:07
Like, you know, once I hit the ground, boom, I'm out, you know,
38:11
now. So then I had to do some
38:12
thinking about, okay, what else terrifies me that, you know,
38:17
you'd be in some weird scenario for and Luke has talked about
38:22
something he wanted to do, which is go like scuba diving.
38:26
And I don't know how deep of a scuba diving, but like what
38:30
really scares me is the concept of deep sea diving.
38:34
When I was a teenager there were these books called Fear St. and
38:39
I think it was in a Fear St. Book where there was this girl
38:44
and they were talking about scuba diving and deep sea diving
38:48
and something called the Bends. And I was so scared of the
38:54
concept there because. But that deep decompressing that
38:59
needs to happen very purposefully so that your body
39:03
doesn't create too much nitrogen to do all sorts of wonky things
39:07
to it. You know, blood vessels
39:10
constricting, you know, possibly sending a nitrogen bubble up to
39:14
your brain or your heart or all those things.
39:17
But when you're that deep underwater, you can get
39:21
disoriented really easily, even if you don't have the bends
39:25
right. Like, you don't know which way
39:26
is up, up in which way is down. But the bends causes confusion.
39:31
There can't cause confusion. So all of a sudden you're
39:36
panicking because your body is going into some sort of, you
39:39
know, shock of what's going on where our insides aren't working
39:43
and then trying to figure out your way out, which doesn't make
39:47
a difference because you don't know which way is up.
39:50
I mean, I don't know if anyone's ever played a video game and you
39:52
get lost in the video game and you're deep and you're like, I
39:55
don't know what the way the right way is.
39:57
You know, about how that actually have that BU and I did
40:01
a little like I said, I wanted to make sure it was something
40:04
that has happened. So I did I did my research on
40:08
this and it said one in 76,000. So there is a number.
40:13
There's a number. Of military folks who do it, who
40:18
do the deep sea diving stuff do die from the bends.
40:21
So there's a number to mine. So I feel like it's more of a.
40:25
And if that's military, they're trained.
40:27
Yeah. I mean, but they're going in
40:28
some. There was another thing about
40:30
like normal people and that number was much higher because
40:34
probably they're taking a lot less risk, you know, So I, I'm
40:39
sure the military, when they're doing these things, it's not
40:41
you. Would get it for sure.
40:43
I would well, I mean, you have to be so it's, it's just relying
40:47
on all of your equipment to work right And for you to not be too
40:51
panicked because that's something that's going to
40:54
happen, right. You're going to, I would be very
40:58
panicked about the thought of, OK, how long have I been here
41:01
for? But you know, how is my oxygen?
41:03
The oxygen would be my first panic.
41:05
And really, it shouldn't be your first panic.
41:07
It should be all of the other things.
41:08
But I've like, I'm going, I am human.
41:10
I need oxygen. You know, I was also watching
41:14
this other TV show and I don't want to give out spoilers, but
41:19
where this woman was in a decompression chamber, like she
41:23
was held in this decompression chamber and they were slowly
41:27
like, and the whole point is to train for diving.
41:31
I don't know. I mean the the the show wasn't
41:33
really about that, but but she was held in that and then at
41:37
some point when they got her out had like regulate her pressure.
41:40
And but just watching what it shows in a a Hollywood type
41:46
thing, it's like, that's terrifying seeing the what it is
41:50
fakely made, but probably made off of some sort of research.
41:54
I'm sure the people who were directing it did way more than I
41:57
did. But it's just, again, it's one
42:00
of those things that is just held in my mind and I'm like,
42:03
oh, from reading that book. And then when I saw it again on
42:06
that TV show, I was like, no, no, you're not.
42:08
I'm never going to go deep sea diving because that would be the
42:13
worst way to die. Losing your your in your mind,
42:18
essentially having your body like you could have seizures,
42:22
you could have all sorts of things happen in there.
42:24
You would have a heart attack, right?
42:26
You know, like that's always kind of the thing like that
42:28
could always happen in any of these scenarios that could
42:30
happen because you're so freaked out.
42:32
For me, probably what would happen, but.
42:35
Does it hurt the bends? I can't imagine it feels good.
42:39
I don't know. Yeah, I mean, you could have.
42:42
You might. Have to do.
42:43
This and paralysis, all of these things, well, people live
42:46
through the bends all the time, OK?
42:48
It is more likely to live through it than die from it.
42:50
OK However. Much like an encounter with
42:52
rats. Right, you are more likely to
42:55
live. Than die.
42:57
Than die by being bit by. Everybody but if you die from
43:00
the bends. Yeah, it.
43:02
Would suck. Yeah, and it's not immediate.
43:04
And you know what's going on. Like all of those things where
43:07
it's like, you know, there might be other scenarios where you
43:10
don't necessarily know what's going on, you know, but this is
43:14
1 where you, you know, until you don't because you're confused
43:17
and all of that. I just, I, I'm, I'm thinking
43:20
that would be the absolute worst way.
43:23
No control and you just have to wait till the end.
43:28
Awful. Awful.
43:32
I mean, it doesn't sound great. Doesn't sound as bad as getting
43:36
eaten by rats though. I don't know.
43:40
I don't know. At least you know what's going
43:42
on. Maybe.
43:42
If, like our viewership has a fear of water, maybe they'll
43:46
think that yours is worse. Well, I also don't like rats.
43:49
What if they love rats? They're going to be like, how
43:52
dare. You.
43:52
I do know some people who really do love rats.
43:55
So I mean, I've known people who had rats, pets, which I think
43:58
it's weird. I mean, I feel like you are kind
44:00
of giving them a bad rap for. Just I didn't say hungry.
44:05
It's not their fault. It's not their fault, it's.
44:07
Not their fault they're hungry. They're just hungry, right?
44:10
And I happen to be strapped down and they're gonna eat me for for
44:13
dinner. Yeah, I I don't think that's as
44:16
awful because I feel like, yeah, the odds just aren't there.
44:22
We're not talking about whether it would happen or not.
44:24
I think that's kind of got to be a little bit of the the the vote
44:28
here. Well, I said it was forced
44:30
torture, so sure it could happen.
44:32
Torture happens every day. All right, well, I guess now
44:36
it's up to you all to decide. Y'all got to vote.
44:40
And if you need to do some research to see I, I encourage
44:44
you to if our research, which I had some, I had some numbers.
44:49
I didn't. I had very little research.
44:51
Didn't have any research. If research is a factor need for
44:56
your vote then. Not a fan of research?
44:58
You should vote for me on our very 5th episode.
45:02
It is our fifth episode. Oh, I did want to say something
45:05
really quick to our listeners last.
45:08
Our last episode was the dishwashing when we're talking
45:12
about the rinsing and where it didn't happen.
45:15
And you know, we were kind of talking, you know, like we, we
45:20
were trying not to insult people, but we're like, it's
45:22
fine. We don't have any listeners from
45:24
the UK. Guess what, We got a listener
45:27
from the UK. And the Netherlands, you said?
45:30
No, not the Netherlands. No, no, no.
45:32
Sorry Netherlands, you got your chance.
45:33
You can. You still follow.
45:35
Come on with it. And today we mentioned Japan.
45:37
Yeah, maybe. There seems to be a correlation
45:40
when we talk about viewership, then we just get one just pops.
45:42
Out right, Let's see. I mean, we, we do know someone
45:45
in Japan. It's possible.
45:46
I could make a call to my cousin, be like.
45:48
Make it happen. Make it happen you.
45:49
Gotta watch this from Japan so we can get worldwide.
45:52
Yeah, but that's what we're trying for.
45:53
You know, I don't know, who knows, who knows, we're already
45:57
a little bit there. But I do want to definitely
46:00
thank you all for listening today or watching or however
46:05
you're doing and. Hopefully watching because the
46:06
facial expressions are just. Sometimes I don't know if I had
46:09
that many today, but I I don't know, I can't help it.
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I can't. My face does what my face does
46:18
and and there's all of that. But anyhow, if you like this or
46:22
didn't like it, please say that you like it and share to
46:26
everybody you know. You can follow us on Spotify so
46:29
that you know of all of the newest information out there
46:35
and. Give it a comment.
46:37
Give it a comment. Yeah, yeah.
46:39
Give it a download. We really like that, and if you
46:42
have any further ideas for maybe our 6th, 7th, 8th, 9th, 10th, I
46:46
don't know episode, please e-mail it to us at
46:49
arguingeverafter@gmail.com. That's it y'all looking forward
46:55
to winning bye.