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Andy Stanley - Everyday Courage By The Slice Part 3 · Andy Stanley Sermons

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Speaker 1: I want to welcome all of our partner churches and
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Speaker 1: churches around the Atlanta area who are joining us today
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Speaker 1: and our friends down at Southside in particular. And if
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Speaker 1: you're just joining us maybe the first time or the
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Speaker 1: first time in a long time, more and more this
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Speaker 1: is an expanding network of Jesus followers who understand it's
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Speaker 1: doing that makes a difference. If you're not from our
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Speaker 1: faith tradition, a different faith tradition, or maybe you used
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Speaker 1: to be a Christian, you used to be a church
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Speaker 1: person and you kind of walked away and somebody invited
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Speaker 1: you or you just happen.
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Speaker 2: To be watching today.
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Speaker 1: We understand whatever your story is why you walked away
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Speaker 1: from Christianity if we heard your story We would appreciate
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Speaker 1: that but we want you to know there's a group
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Speaker 1: of people who aren't simply believers.
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Speaker 2: But we're doers and we would love for you.
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Speaker 1: To continue to join us whether it's online or in
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Speaker 1: person at one of our Atlanta area churches or one
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Speaker 1: of our campuses all Over the country something wonderful is
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Speaker 1: happening and as you know if you grew up in
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Speaker 1: church you are invited to be a part of it
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Speaker 1: now Speaking of growing up, the way I was raised,
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Speaker 1: and please don't be too critical of the generation that
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Speaker 1: raised me this way because.
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Speaker 2: I kind of appreciate it, but it's a little different.
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Speaker 1: I was raised to believe that the man in the relationship,
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Speaker 1: specifically the marriage relationship, that the man in the relationship
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Speaker 1: is responsible for everything that happens in the relationship.
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Speaker 2: Anybody else raised that way? Anybody? Five of you? Yeah, everybody,
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Speaker 2: old people, yeah.
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Speaker 1: And of course, at that point, I expected the women
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Speaker 1: to go, amen, you got it. Anyway, so the way
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Speaker 1: I internalize this, nobody told me this, okay? I just
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Speaker 1: kind of came into marriage, I sort of internalized this,
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Speaker 1: that if anything goes wrong in the relationship, that ultimately
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Speaker 1: it's my fault. And sometimes it takes me a minute
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Speaker 1: to figure out how it's my fault. So, you know,
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Speaker 1: Sandra will apologize for something and I'll just immediately say,
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Speaker 1: you know what, that, honey, that was my fault.
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Speaker 2: And she'll say, okay, how was that your fault? I'm like,
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Speaker 2: I'm not sure. Just give me a minute, you know.
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Speaker 1: And then if I can't get there, find that I
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Speaker 1: resort to this, I say, well, if I hadn't asked
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Speaker 1: you to marry me, this wouldn't have happened.
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Speaker 2: So it is my fault.
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Speaker 1: The point being, okay, this is, this may be the
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Speaker 1: takeaway for somebody today for the whole sermon is this,
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Speaker 1: that given enough time, given enough time, there's always a
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Speaker 1: way to sneak ourself a little slice of the blame pie. And, uh,
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Speaker 1: it tastes bitter initially, but all medicine tastes bitter initially.
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Speaker 1: Today we're in part three. If you haven't been with us,
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Speaker 1: I'll try to catch up today. We're in part three
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Speaker 1: of a series entitled everyday courage. It's a four part
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Speaker 1: series next week.
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Speaker 2: We're going to wrap this up.
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Speaker 1: Um, And it's based on this idea, basically an observation,
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Speaker 1: something we've all observed, read about.
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Speaker 2: In fact, some of you perhaps have experienced.
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Speaker 1: It, and that's simply this, that a single act of courage,
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Speaker 1: the right time, the right place, a single act of
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Speaker 1: courage is often the catalyst for something great. extraordinary, that
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Speaker 1: in the midst of disaster, in the midst of tragedy,
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Speaker 1: in the midst of danger, in the midst of a threat,
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Speaker 1: that somebody steps up and they step in and they.
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Speaker 2: Do the unexpected, they do the heroic, they do the unprecedented.
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Speaker 1: And when they do, it sets something good into motion.
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Speaker 1: And of course, history, as we've said, is filled with
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Speaker 1: examples of.
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Speaker 2: This sort of thing.
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Speaker 1: And the names that come to mind when we think
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Speaker 1: of this dynamic come to mind because these people.
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Speaker 2: Didn't wait for fear to disappear.
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Speaker 1: They just went ahead and responded and stepped in anyway.
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Speaker 1: And of course, when you hear those stories, read those stories,
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Speaker 1: see those stories depicted on television or in movies, we
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Speaker 1: think to ourselves, or at least I do, I wonder
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Speaker 1: if I would have the courage to do what he
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Speaker 1: did or the courage to do what she did. We
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Speaker 1: hope that we would have the courage to.
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Speaker 2: Follow their example.
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Speaker 1: But most of us will never face circumstances like that. Now,
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Speaker 1: maybe you have a military background and you're like, hey,
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Speaker 1: that's not theory for me.
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Speaker 2: I've had that experience. But for most of us, that
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Speaker 2: level of courage.
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Speaker 1: And the hope that we would respond the way that
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Speaker 1: other people did, that's not going to come along. So unfortunately,
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Speaker 1: what we do is we diminish what we think the
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Speaker 1: need for courage is because we misunderstand or we misinterpret
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Speaker 1: some of the other things that we feel and experience
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Speaker 1: in relationships And that's kind of what this series is about.
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Speaker 1: Or to say it a different way, we may not
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Speaker 1: face a literal Goliath, but we all have our own giants.
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Speaker 1: In fact, one of the giants, one of the threats
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Speaker 1: that we all share in common is this, acknowledging, because
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Speaker 1: this is.
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Speaker 2: Kind of a first step in terms of what we've.
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Speaker 1: Been talking about, acknowledging fear as the culprit behind our
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Speaker 1: reluctance to do what we know we need to do.
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Speaker 1: And throughout the series, we've said part of the challenge
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Speaker 1: is realizing that what we're dealing with sometimes isn't what
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Speaker 1: we think we're dealing.
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Speaker 2: With, but behind it all, we're really just afraid.
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Speaker 1: And what we need is courage. But fear is difficult
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Speaker 1: to see in the mirror. In fact, you probably don't admit,
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Speaker 1: you know, can't remember the last time you said, I
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Speaker 1: was afraid, unless it was physical, you But it's difficult
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Speaker 1: to see fear in the mirror.
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Speaker 2: It's difficult to admit.
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Speaker 1: And we misname it, especially, and this is where we're
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Speaker 1: going today and where we went last week, especially when
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Speaker 1: it comes to relationships, especially when it comes to family
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Speaker 1: or extended family or your boss or somebody you manage
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Speaker 1: at work that's a little bit intimidating or work or, again,
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Speaker 1: at school. But here's the thing, and this is what
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Speaker 1: kind of takes away all of our excuses, is when
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Speaker 1: we know what we need to do, When we know
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Speaker 1: what we need to say, when we know what or
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Speaker 1: who we need to confront, or what we need to
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Speaker 1: walk away from, and we refuse to do what we
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Speaker 1: know we need to do for.
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Speaker 2: Fear of an outcome, well, there it is. It's fear.
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Speaker 2: It's a lack of of courage.
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Speaker 1: It's a lack of, because these are everyday situations, it's
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Speaker 1: a lack of everyday courage. So my goal in this series,
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Speaker 1: or one of my goals in this series, is to
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Speaker 1: help us begin to identify what the culprit really is,
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Speaker 1: because if we don't properly diagnose it, we can't cure it.
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Speaker 2: We can't even begin to cure it.
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Speaker 1: So the goal is to help us identify the fear
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Speaker 1: that lurks in the background of so much that we
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Speaker 1: face on a day-to-day basis.
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Speaker 2: To see it for exactly what it.
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Speaker 1: Is, to call it out for what it is, so
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Speaker 1: then we can confront it. And to inspire you to
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Speaker 1: step up. And here's, you know, this is sort of
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Speaker 1: the epic context because your.
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Speaker 2: Life is a, story, right?
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Speaker 1: To think in terms of your life as a story,
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Speaker 1: this is an invitation for you to be the hero
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Speaker 1: in the story of your life. The person that realizes,
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Speaker 1: you know what? I'm afraid, but fear is not going
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Speaker 1: to master me. Somebody needs to say something. Somebody needs
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Speaker 1: to confront this. Somebody needs to leave.
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Speaker 2: That's me. Somebody needs to move. Oh, that would be me.
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Speaker 1: I'm going to be the story. I'm I'm gonna do
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Speaker 1: the thing that needs to be done. And I'm not
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Speaker 1: gonna wait for fear to disappear because fear doesn't disappear.
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Speaker 1: You pick it up and you carry it with you
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Speaker 1: into the future. And all of us to some degree,
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Speaker 1: at some level, know what that's like and we've done that.
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Speaker 2: But I want you to refuse.
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Speaker 1: To live another day, work another day with fear as
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Speaker 1: your master, to refuse to endure toxic environments that you
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Speaker 1: need to get out of Toxic romantic relationships that you
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Speaker 1: need to get out of. Toxic friendships that you need
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Speaker 1: to walk away from. And the reason we don't, we
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Speaker 1: have all kinds of explanations, is because at the end
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Speaker 1: of the day, we fear the consequence of those decisions.
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Speaker 2: But that is the issue. It's a matter of courage.
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Speaker 1: And granted, as is always the case when something requires courage,
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Speaker 1: there is no guarantee that to do something, to do
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Speaker 1: the right thing, to step into the gap, to do
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Speaker 1: the unprecedented, the unthinkable.
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Speaker 2: There is no guarantee. There's no guarantee that there's going
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Speaker 2: to be a bow.
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Speaker 1: But refusing to move and refusing to act does come
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Speaker 1: with a guarantee. It guarantees that nothing changes, that nothing
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Speaker 1: gets better, that nothing gets fixed, that nothing gets addressed.
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Speaker 1: And not only does nothing change in most cases, Things
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Speaker 1: just get worse. In fact, one day, and maybe you've
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Speaker 1: lived long enough to experience this already. I think most
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Speaker 1: of us have. One day, you'll look back on this day,
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Speaker 1: this relationship, this set of circumstances, and you will wish
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Speaker 1: you had confronted that giant.
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Speaker 2: You will wish you had walked.
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Speaker 1: Down into the valley, confronted that giant, walked up to
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Speaker 1: those walls, confronted that gate, and done the thing that
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Speaker 1: you now know you need to do.
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Speaker 2: And Don't get your hopes up. But if the message
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Speaker 2: were to end right now, it's not.
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Speaker 1: You know how this lands in your life because you've
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Speaker 1: been wrestling with this, struggling with this. And again, you
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Speaker 1: haven't characterized it as a matter of fear, but you
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Speaker 1: know specifically what the implications are for you. And you've
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Speaker 1: known for some time. You know what you should do.
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Speaker 1: You know what you should say. You know what you
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Speaker 1: should walk away from. Your giant perhaps has a name.
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Speaker 1: But the thought of the outcome paralyzes you, terrifies you.
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Speaker 2: It's fear. And your fear won't disappear.
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Speaker 1: You have to decide to do the thing. But up
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Speaker 1: until now, perhaps you haven't framed the circumstances, framed the
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Speaker 1: tension in terms of fear.
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Speaker 2: Or lack of courage.
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Speaker 1: Your pushback has been what our pushback always is.
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Speaker 2: It's complicated. We talked about this last week, remember? It's complicated.
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Speaker 1: But as we pointed out last time, it's complicated isn't
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Speaker 1: a reason. It's complicated is simply an observation that we
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Speaker 1: disguise as.
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Speaker 2: A reason not to do what we know we need
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Speaker 2: to do.
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Speaker 1: Now, if you're not a person of faith, or you're
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Speaker 1: of a different faith tradition, everything that follows in this
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Speaker 1: sermon is optional for you. And here's why I say that.
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Speaker 1: If you are not a Jesus follower, obviously you are
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Speaker 1: under no obligation to do what Jesus instructs his followers
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Speaker 1: to do.
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Speaker 2: So you can just kind of sit the rest of
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Speaker 2: the sermon out.
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Speaker 1: But I think as you listen, if you continue to listen,
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Speaker 1: you'll understand that what Jesus is inviting us into, as
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Speaker 1: harsh as his language is, and I'm telling you, it's
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Speaker 1: so harsh. I told Sandra yesterday, I'm not even looking
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Speaker 1: forward to giving this sermon.
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Speaker 2: Jesus is so harsh.
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Speaker 1: But the reason he's harsh is the same reason your
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Speaker 1: parents were harsh from time to time.
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Speaker 2: Because they loved you.
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Speaker 1: It's the same reason that perhaps you're a little bit
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Speaker 1: harsh with your kids sometimes, because you see what they
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Speaker 1: can't see and you love them.
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Speaker 2: And in the text we're going to look at, Jesus.
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Speaker 1: Comes on strong, not because he's angry with his followers,
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Speaker 1: but because he loves them and he loves you. So
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Speaker 1: if you're not a Christian, you should consider this. If
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Speaker 1: you are a Jesus follower, buckle up. Okay, so last week,
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Speaker 1: if you'll remember, if you were here last week, quick review.
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Speaker 1: In part two, we addressed the often mislabeled Fear, this
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Speaker 1: often mislabeled fear.
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Speaker 2: The fear to forgive.
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Speaker 1: And we talked about last week, we don't generally relate
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Speaker 1: fear to forgiveness.
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Speaker 2: But at the end of the day, the reason we don't.
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Speaker 1: Forgive and won't forgive, we talked about, is actually fear.
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Speaker 1: And I made the point that forgiveness is courageous. In fact,
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Speaker 1: based on your circumstances, your decision to forgive someone or
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Speaker 1: some someones may be the most courageous thing you do
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Speaker 1: as an adult because forgiveness is giving somebody something.
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Speaker 2: They don't deserve, that they haven't earned.
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Speaker 1: In fact, it's giving someone who's taken from you something else.
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Speaker 1: You're giving them a gift even though they have taken
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Speaker 1: from you.
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Speaker 2: That is epic. You are canceling their debt.
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Speaker 1: Forgiveness is taking back the reins of your emotions and
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Speaker 1: From the person or the persons who hurt you.
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Speaker 2: It's forgiveness. I love this idea.
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Speaker 1: Forgiveness is independent of them choosing to be independent of
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Speaker 1: them because you have forgiven them. And this is why
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Speaker 1: forgiveness is epic, and this is why forgiveness is catalytic,
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Speaker 1: that forgiveness has the potential to set something in motion
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Speaker 1: in your life that can potentially impact not just your future,
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Speaker 1: but the future of the people closest to you and
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Speaker 1: the people that you love most. But, and this is
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Speaker 1: where we ended last time, perhaps you've tried to forgive,
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Speaker 1: and you've done everything you know to forgive as much
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Speaker 1: as you know about forgiveness, and you just can't. You
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Speaker 1: just can't let it go. you just keep circling back,
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Speaker 1: having those same imaginary conversations, having those same out loud conversations,
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Speaker 1: telling your story whenever you get a chance to and
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Speaker 1: you're always the victim but it just sits there and
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Speaker 1: it impacts you and it haunts your mind and your
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Speaker 1: emotions and you know you just need to let it
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Speaker 1: go and you just can't figure out how to do it.
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Speaker 2: And if that's you, today is for you.
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Speaker 1: But it's more than just for those of you who
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Speaker 1: are having a hard time forgiving.
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Speaker 2: What Jesus says is for all of us at all times.
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Speaker 2: And he calls us.
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Speaker 1: To a level of everyday courage that is easy to
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Speaker 1: dismiss and difficult to embrace.
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Speaker 2: And here's what we're talking about.
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Speaker 1: More times than not, more times than not, the underlying
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Speaker 1: reason we can't forgive and move on.
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Speaker 2: Is that we aren't willing to admit to.
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Speaker 1: Ourselves that we, don't leave that we are partially responsible
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Speaker 1: for what happened, which means forgiveness is out of reach
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Speaker 1: because forgiveness is out of reach apart from an additional
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Speaker 1: expression of courage. Namely, this is where it gets rough.
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Speaker 1: The courage to own or to acknowledge or to admit
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Speaker 1: or to take responsibility for our part in what transpired.
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Speaker 2: Our slice, however small, of the blame pie. Now, quick disclaimer.
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Speaker 2: Don't miss this.
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Speaker 1: If you were hurt or taken advantage of as a child,
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Speaker 1: this does not apply to you.
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Speaker 2: You were not at fault. You were and you are innocent.
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Speaker 1: But apart from that, for the rest of us, this
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Speaker 1: has extraordinary relevance. Not just relevance to our distant past,
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Speaker 1: but relevance to our everyday experience as we are constantly
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Speaker 1: in relationship with people and constantly around people who do
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Speaker 1: things that require us to forgive them.
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Speaker 2: But here's the thing. You can't forgive someone and move on.
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Speaker 2: You can't put the past in the past.
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Speaker 1: You can't forgive someone for their part and move on
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Speaker 1: until you own your part. Because you've misplaced a portion
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Speaker 1: of the blame. You are holding someone, and we do
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Speaker 1: this by accident.
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Speaker 2: It's not on purpose.
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Speaker 1: We hold someone else accountable for a bit of what
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Speaker 1: we are responsible for because we haven't had, and it's
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Speaker 1: a courage issue, because we haven't had the courage to
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Speaker 1: acknowledge our role. You haven't had the courage, if I
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Speaker 1: can press hard, you haven't had the courage to be
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Speaker 1: angry with and disappointed in.
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Speaker 3: You.
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Speaker 2: So you do what we always do. You blame. We blame.
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Speaker 1: And we haven't had the courage to admit and own
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Speaker 1: our role. And when that happens, when we haven't either
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Speaker 1: admitted it, taken responsibility for it, we blame, and here's
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Speaker 1: what our blame does, and here's why we blame, and
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Speaker 1: we're all guilty. We blame because blame shields us from
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Speaker 1: the truth about us. Because their part was so much
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Speaker 1: bigger than ours.
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Speaker 2: And they are so much more guilty than us.
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Speaker 1: It is easy to put all the blame on them
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Speaker 1: even when a portion of the blame belongs to us.
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Speaker 1: And as we blame, we defend ourselves from ourselves. And
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Speaker 1: we shield ourselves from what we aren't willing to admit
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Speaker 1: about ourselves.
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Speaker 2: And what happens is this provides justification.
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Speaker 1: Provides justification for refusing to do perhaps the most courageous
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Speaker 1: thing you will ever do as an adult.
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Speaker 2: To confront the giants of guilt.
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Speaker 1: And pride and shame. You can't put it all behind
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Speaker 1: you until you acknowledge it all to begin with. Or
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Speaker 1: to quote Jesus, you can't put it all behind you
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Speaker 1: until you acknowledge your part, here's his word, first. Now,
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Speaker 1: we're getting to the Jesus part, okay? Because I don't
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Speaker 1: want you to be mad at me. I'm going to
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Speaker 1: deflect to Jesus, okay?
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Speaker 2: This is so important.
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Speaker 1: And again, look, if you're not a Christian, listen, even
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Speaker 1: if you don't believe Jesus is the Son of God,
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Speaker 1: you should read what Jesus taught.
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Speaker 2: It's so powerful. It is literally catalytic. It is life-changing.
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Speaker 1: Changing, not simply believing, but following what he teaches. And
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Speaker 1: in this passage that we're going to look at, that
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Speaker 1: I'm thinking everybody listening or watching has heard before, read before.
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Speaker 1: Even if you're not a Christian, you've heard bits and
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Speaker 1: pieces of this before. In fact, you've heard this so often,
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Speaker 1: you may not have even known that Jesus is the
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Speaker 1: one who said it. But Jesus addresses this directly and uncomfortably.
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Speaker 1: And again, you may have heard it before, but maybe
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Speaker 1: you assumed he was talking to someone else about someone else.
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Speaker 2: You ready? Doesn't matter if you're ready. Listen to this.
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Speaker 2: He asked a question.
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Speaker 1: Why do you look at the speck of sawdust in
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Speaker 1: your brother's eye and pay no attention to the plank
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Speaker 1: in your own? Why do you look solely at them
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Speaker 1: and what they did and refuse to consider your part
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Speaker 1: or your role in what happened?
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Speaker 2: And here's, I'll answer for all of us.
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Speaker 1: Jesus, because we didn't have one We didn't play a part.
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Speaker 2: We had no role.
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Speaker 1: It was 100% them. And then we retreat behind the
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Speaker 1: walls of our well-worn story, most of which is absolutely true.
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Speaker 1: We retreat behind the wall of our well-rehearsed account of
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Speaker 1: what happened, which ultimately becomes an excuse for not acknowledging
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Speaker 1: our And then we say, Jesus, besides that, before you finish,
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Speaker 1: it's not a speck, okay? It's not a speck of
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Speaker 1: sawdust in our brother's eye, okay?
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Speaker 2: It's not a speck.
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Speaker 1: He lied to me. She lied to me. They stole
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Speaker 1: from me. They did not do what they said they
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Speaker 1: were going to do. They promised and broke their promise.
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Speaker 1: They abandoned me. She abandoned us. Hey, don't put this
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Speaker 1: on me. And Jesus said, who loves you so much
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Speaker 1: he gave.
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Speaker 2: His life for you, presses on anyway. How can you say?
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Speaker 1: How can you say to your brother, permit me to
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Speaker 1: take the speck out of your eye? In other words,
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Speaker 1: how can you say to that person, let me show
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Speaker 1: you what you did wrong.
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Speaker 2: And that's, that's when we respond. Yeah, that's exactly what
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Speaker 2: we want to do.
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Speaker 1: I don't want to take the speck out of their eye.
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Speaker 1: I want to point out the speck in their eye.
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Speaker 1: And I wanted to point it out in such a
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Speaker 1: way that they take responsibility for what they've done.
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Speaker 2: Jesus just. Ignores us and moves on. How can you
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Speaker 2: say to your brother, permit me to take the speck
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Speaker 2: out of your eye? When all the.
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Speaker 1: Time there is a log, there is a plank, there
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Speaker 1: is a two by eight or a two by 12
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Speaker 1: in your own eye. And we say, Jesus, I know
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Speaker 1: you're Jesus and everything, but I don't see it that way.
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Speaker 1: And he says, that's my point. You don't see clearly.
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Speaker 1: Refusal to see what is there to see is a
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Speaker 1: recipe for compounding resentment.
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Speaker 2: Let me say that again.
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Speaker 1: Refusing to see what is actually there to see is
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Speaker 1: a recipe for compounding resentment.
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Speaker 2: Let me tell you what I mean by this. This
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Speaker 2: is why hurt people hurt people.
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Speaker 1: This is why you've experienced, maybe it's not you, maybe
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Speaker 1: it is, but you aren't willing to admit it, but
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Speaker 1: you have met people like this who carry resentment everywhere
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Speaker 1: they go. And it seems to compound over time with
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Speaker 1: every new relationship, every new job, every new marriage.
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Speaker 2: It just seems to compound. It's like their story and their.
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Speaker 1: Resentment grows and grows and grows and grows.
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Speaker 2: And Jesus is trying.
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Speaker 1: To keep us from allowing that to happen again.
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Speaker 2: In our lives.
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Speaker 1: He said, I don't want your resentment and your anger
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Speaker 1: to compound over time. I want to help you eliminate it.
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Speaker 1: But you can't eliminate it and you can't forgive and
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Speaker 1: move on until you acknowledge your part, your role.
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Speaker 2: The plank in your eye. then if we're not.
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Speaker 1: Already so offended, it's like, again, if you're not a
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Speaker 1: Jesus follower, we were thinking, well, I'm definitely not going
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Speaker 1: to follow now.
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Speaker 2: This is the most ridiculous thing I ever heard, right?
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Speaker 2: Look up here. Look, what he says next is so
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Speaker 2: harsh because he cares so much.
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Speaker 1: You We're like, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, wait, what do
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Speaker 1: you mean we're hypocrites? Jesus says, look, you're a hypocrite
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Speaker 1: because you're doing the very thing that you accuse them
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Speaker 1: of doing. You're angry with them because they won't own
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Speaker 1: up to what they've done. They won't take responsibility for
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Speaker 1: what they've done. They don't even understand what, they've not
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Speaker 1: even considered your feelings. They haven't even considered how they've
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Speaker 1: harmed you. They're not owning their part of the pie,
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Speaker 1: but And that's what you're angry about, but neither are you.
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Speaker 2: This makes you a hypocrite if you're.
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Speaker 1: Not willing to acknowledge or at least be curious about
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Speaker 1: whether or not there's a plank in your eyes going,
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Speaker 1: come on, don't you want them to pay attention to
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Speaker 1: their part?
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Speaker 2: Yes. Well, come on, pay attention to yours or you're
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Speaker 2: a hypocrite. You're refusing to do the courageous thing. This
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Speaker 2: is his invitation.
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Speaker 1: You're refusing to do the courageous thing and the courageous
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Speaker 1: thing is to look into the mirror and ask, This
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Speaker 1: courageous question.
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Speaker 2: You wanna be the hero in your own story? Ask
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Speaker 2: this question.
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Speaker 1: Did I play a role in this? I mean, it's
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Speaker 1: hard for me to understand how. Okay, them aside, did.
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Speaker 2: I play a role in this? Am I partly to
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Speaker 2: blame for what happened?
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Speaker 1: Did someone try to warn me And I just blew
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Speaker 1: them off, ignored them. Did I, thinking back, did I
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Speaker 1: know deep down I had no business, but just went
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Speaker 1: ahead anyway? Did I go along with it instead of
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Speaker 1: walking away from it? And then this one, this goes
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Speaker 1: right to the heart of what your Savior wants you
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Speaker 1: to consider. Did I choose not to see what I
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Speaker 1: didn't want.
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Speaker 2: To see? The greater the hurt, the more courage it
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Speaker 2: requires to ask a question like this.
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Speaker 1: The greater the hurt, the less pressure we feel to
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Speaker 1: ask a question like this.
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Speaker 2: But to refuse to.
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Speaker 1: May leave you placing blame on them that belongs to you,
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Speaker 1: and you'll never be able to move on. You'll never
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Speaker 1: be able to completely forgive. So Jesus just keeps going.
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Speaker 2: You hypocrite.
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Speaker 1: And listen to now how he's going to reprioritize the
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Speaker 1: way we think.
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Speaker 2: It's so brilliant. You hypocrite. First. First what?
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Speaker 1: He says, first, start with you, not them.
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Speaker 2: To which we say, yeah, but them is the cause.
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Speaker 2: To which Jesus would say, perhaps. But what can you
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Speaker 2: do about them? Oh, yeah. Nothing. First, take the plank.
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Speaker 2: Out of your own eye.
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Speaker 1: Acknowledge you have one. Identify it. And remove it. Take
25:56
Speaker 1: responsibility for it.
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Speaker 2: Look at this. And then you will see clearly.
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Speaker 1: It takes courage to shift our focus from their big
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Speaker 1: part to our smallish part. And let me tell you
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Speaker 1: why it takes courage. This is a courage issue. It's
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Speaker 1: not always a complicated issue. It is a courage issue.
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Speaker 1: Here's why it takes courage.
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Speaker 2: Two reasons. Number one, I'll just say you, but we,
26:27
Speaker 2: all of us, we grow comfortable. Isn't it true?
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Speaker 1: We grow comfortable with the cocoon that we get inside
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Speaker 1: of that surrounds us with our defenses and our excuses.
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Speaker 2: It is warm and it is familiar.
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Speaker 1: And anytime it comes up, We have a wonderful story
26:48
Speaker 1: to tell and we have grown comfortable with our story.
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Speaker 2: But it's a prison. Second reason, this takes courage. The moment,
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Speaker 2: and this is where there's a fear factor for some
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Speaker 2: of us, maybe you.
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Speaker 1: The moment you transfer part of the blame from them,
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Speaker 1: even a slice of the blame from them to you,
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Speaker 1: It weakens your case against them. And that feels like losing.
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Speaker 1: And you have already lost so much.
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Speaker 2: Your king says, Jesus says, it's not losing. Ultimately, it
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Speaker 2: is liberating. And it's why he says, I'm calling you out.
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Speaker 1: It's why I will potentially offend you if it will
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Speaker 1: shake you up enough to at least consider your part
27:48
Speaker 1: of the story because it's only when you get to
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Speaker 1: the place that you acknowledge what you've done and forgive
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Speaker 1: yourself that you are free to forgive them and move on.
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Speaker 1: This is what positions us to forgive ourselves and enables
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Speaker 1: us and empowers us To forgive others. Not just for
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Speaker 1: the big things. Not just for the past things. But
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Speaker 1: for the everyday things. Because this is supposed to be
28:19
Speaker 1: the rhythm of life for the followers of.
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Speaker 2: Jesus.
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Speaker 1: Now, if that's like, okay, Andy, I know you've already
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Speaker 1: said it's not complicated, but it is complicated.
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Speaker 2: But before you push back, just think one more angle.
28:38
Speaker 1: Let's Flip it around. Don't answer out loud and no elbows, okay.
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Speaker 1: Don't you wish that your husband or your wife, your fiance,
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Speaker 1: don't you wish your teenage daughter, your teenage son would
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Speaker 1: first consider the plank in their own eye before they
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Speaker 1: come launching into you?
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Speaker 2: The answer is yes. Yes.
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Speaker 1: And Jesus chuckles and says, that's why I called you
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Speaker 1: a hypocrite.
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Speaker 2: Because this is.
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Speaker 1: What you want everyone in your life to do.
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Speaker 2: So it should start with you. I mean, imagine, you know,
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Speaker 2: 15-year-old daughter walks into the kitchen. Mom, okay. Okay.
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Speaker 1: I was so angry with you that when we were
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Speaker 1: driving back from school in the car, you know, we
29:35
Speaker 1: had that thing, you know, and finally neither one of
29:37
Speaker 1: us could even talk to each other.
29:38
Speaker 2: I was so mad at you. So I went up
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Speaker 2: to my room, and I thought about it, and I realized, okay,
29:44
Speaker 2: it's not just my mom. Part of this is my fault.
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Speaker 1: Mom?
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Speaker 3: Mom?
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Speaker 1: Mom?
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Speaker 2: Dad, I think mom passed out, right? Imagine it. Your
30:06
Speaker 2: savior says, don't imagine it. Model it.
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Speaker 1: But it's mostly, I know it's mostly, but if you've
30:15
Speaker 1: got a slice to own, own it.
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Speaker 2: It is your way out. It is the way out.
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Speaker 2: Jesus said, go there first.
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Speaker 1: The question is, have you gone there at all? The mirror,
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Speaker 1: in this case, can be a scary place. But the mirror,
30:38
Speaker 1: in this context, can be a revealing place. And it
30:41
Speaker 1: can be a healing place. Here's my observation. I bet
30:45
Speaker 1: you've observed this as well. Bitter people, angry people, always
30:53
Speaker 1: angry with themselves but they don't know it and you
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Speaker 1: may be angry with yourself and you just don't know
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Speaker 1: it because you haven't yet admitted it and you don't
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Speaker 1: want to live that way and my hope my hope
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Speaker 1: is that you would begin to fear the consequences of
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Speaker 1: refusing to forgive more than you fear forgiving and And
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Speaker 1: my hope and your savior's hope is that you would
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Speaker 1: fear the consequences of refusing to own your share of
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Speaker 1: the blame more than you fear owning your share of
31:28
Speaker 1: the blame. So if you're having a hard time forgiving,
31:33
Speaker 1: letting it go and moving on, maybe start by acknowledging
31:41
Speaker 1: your king's invitation. Maybe begin with this courageous, humility-laden, somewhat
31:50
Speaker 1: threatening prayer.
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Speaker 2: And you don't have to use my words.
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Speaker 1: But what if we all began to pray something like this?
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Speaker 1: Heavenly Father, I want to see clearly. If there's something
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Speaker 1: I need to see, I.
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Speaker 2: Want to see it. Heavenly Father, do I have a plank?
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Speaker 1: When it comes to them and that and the past
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Speaker 1: or the present or my boss or my teacher or
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Speaker 1: my fiance or my husband, do I have a plank?
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Speaker 1: This may be, or something like this, may be the
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Speaker 1: single act of courage that serves as a catalyst for
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Speaker 1: extraordinary for you, for your family, for this generation of
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Speaker 1: your family, and maybe the next. Something like this, this
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Speaker 1: level of humility Maybe the thing that actually breaks you
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Speaker 1: away from the thing that's been trailing along behind you
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Speaker 1: that is not serving you well. After all, hopefully you
32:57
Speaker 1: know this. If not, this is good for you to know.
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Speaker 1: It was Jesus who said.
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Speaker 2: And you shall know the truth, and the truth shall
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Speaker 2: make you free.
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Speaker 1: Your courage, your courage to admit the truth about the
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Speaker 1: role you played may in fact be the truth that
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Speaker 1: finally sets you free. Free to forgive, free to forgive,
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Speaker 1: and free to live your life the way Jesus has
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Speaker 1: called you to live it.
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Speaker 2: Free to forgive and free to move on.
33:35
Speaker 3: And last thing, if you're not a Jesus follower, or
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Speaker 3: you used to be, or you left for whatever reason,
33:44
Speaker 3: this is an invitation to you as well.
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Speaker 2: Because following Jesus, this is just another example. We say
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Speaker 2: it all the time.
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Speaker 1: This is just another example of how following Jesus will
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Speaker 1: make your life better and make you better at life.
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Speaker 1: So if it's been a long time since you've considered Jesus,
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Speaker 1: I hope that today.
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Speaker 2: That you will.
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Speaker 1: He loves you enough to say the hard things, even
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Speaker 1: the harsh things, because he loves you.