Latest / Fake Doctors, Real Friends with Zach and Donald / 414.5: A Conversation with Anne Brodzinsky

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414.5: A Conversation with Anne Brodzinsky · Fake Doctors, Real Friends with Zach and Donald

• 0:00
  Speaker 1: I guapo, Oh did you get a hair cut? Did
• 0:04
  Speaker 1: you get a little trim? Trim? Man, I'm working on
• 0:07
  Speaker 1: a show right now. I'm always getting haircuts. You look good.
• 0:10
  Speaker 1: I'm not gonna I'm not gonna blow smoke, but you're
• 0:12
  Speaker 1: looking fine. You can blow smoke if you want you.
• 0:16
  Speaker 1: I will blow smoke all over you, oh boy, and
• 0:20
  Speaker 1: I will watch it ripple all open my curves, all
• 0:24
  Speaker 1: through your crevices and nooks. We need to get this
• 0:26
  Speaker 1: out because we're about to invite my mom on the show.
• 0:28
  Speaker 1: Any naughty talk needs to come out right now. Okay, Well,
• 0:31
  Speaker 1: I'm gonna say this. Your mom's book made me cry.
• 0:35
  Speaker 1: I mean too, dude. It made me cry a lot.
• 0:38
  Speaker 1: Like I was sitting there like, wow, this is you know,
• 0:41
  Speaker 1: and I just read it before we did the show.
• 0:43
  Speaker 1: So as I was walking up the stairs, I was like,
• 0:45
  Speaker 1: get your shit together, buck, tell her that because that'll
• 0:50
  Speaker 1: really move her. And of course it made me cry too.
• 0:53
  Speaker 1: We today, guys are gonna have my mom on the
• 0:54
  Speaker 1: show and welcome, welcome, welcome, and we um we're we're
• 0:59
  Speaker 1: gonna be shifting a little bit because Donald and I
• 1:01
  Speaker 1: are both going back to work. So um o our
• 1:03
  Speaker 1: one year pandemic. Job is going to have to shift
• 1:06
  Speaker 1: a little bit. We're doing this on a Sunday afternoon.
• 1:09
  Speaker 1: Thank you Joel and Dale for accommodating us, and um
• 1:13
  Speaker 1: and and then and then we're gonna have a big
• 1:15
  Speaker 1: old party with the live show, which is a Friday,
• 1:18
  Speaker 1: the twenty six, So we're skipping an episode, but we're
• 1:22
  Speaker 1: gonna come back to it later on. I guess that's
• 1:25
  Speaker 1: what's gonna happen. Yes, if you have a ticket to
• 1:27
  Speaker 1: the live show, technically you will still get two shows
• 1:30
  Speaker 1: this week. I'm just saying you have. So please don't
• 1:35
  Speaker 1: yell at us for going back to one show here
• 1:37
  Speaker 1: and there, because we just can't. This has been so
• 1:39
  Speaker 1: awesome And don't think we don't love doing it, but
• 1:42
  Speaker 1: we're so thrilled that we actually have a chance to
• 1:45
  Speaker 1: do some of the work we really do love to entertain.
• 1:48
  Speaker 1: You are acting and and um and so we're going
• 1:52
  Speaker 1: back to work for reels. Yes, yes, yes, but we're
• 1:54
  Speaker 1: gonna keep the show going because we love doing it.
• 1:57
  Speaker 1: So it's just gonna it might not be twice a
• 1:59
  Speaker 1: week all the time. Um, it might just be once
• 2:01
  Speaker 1: a week. We also want to have the fun of
• 2:03
  Speaker 1: folding in special guests like Donald's mom and my mom
• 2:06
  Speaker 1: and lots of Um, we talked to all the stuff
• 2:08
  Speaker 1: we've told you about about people from the show, the
• 2:10
  Speaker 1: stand ins. Um, Joel is working on contacting the stand
• 2:14
  Speaker 1: ins and some fun crew members and all that stuff. UM.
• 2:18
  Speaker 1: So I just wanted to let's just go through a
• 2:20
  Speaker 1: couple logistics for the live show, because I did see
• 2:22
  Speaker 1: there were tons of questions on my Instagram, and I'm
• 2:24
  Speaker 1: sure Donald's years as well. UM. I'm off Twitter, but Joel,
• 2:27
  Speaker 1: I'm sure you're getting Twitter questions, so fill in any blanks. Um.
• 2:32
  Speaker 1: The answer is, it is totally not globe. What do
• 2:34
  Speaker 1: they call that global locked? Geo locked? What's that term?
• 2:39
  Speaker 1: I don't know it. I don't know, I don't know what. Well,
• 2:41
  Speaker 1: some people ask if it's geo whatever. The point is,
• 2:43
  Speaker 1: you can watch it anywhere stad Um, Kenya, Italy, the Uzbekistan.
• 2:52
  Speaker 1: Probably not North Korea. I'm guessing I'm sure you could
• 2:55
  Speaker 1: if if you if you were in Waconda. It's playing
• 2:58
  Speaker 1: in Waconda, Yes, Conda, It's available everywhere. It's available. Now,
• 3:04
  Speaker 1: you might say, but Zach and Donald and Joel and Daniel,
• 3:06
  Speaker 1: I can't stay up in the middle of the night.
• 3:08
  Speaker 1: That's fine. If you buy a ticket, you can then
• 3:11
  Speaker 1: listen until April second or right, Joel, Yes, it's a
• 3:15
  Speaker 1: full week after it premieres, so I believe. There you go,
• 3:18
  Speaker 1: so you get a week to listen to it, or sorry,
• 3:20
  Speaker 1: watch it. Watch it now. We have been outfitted with
• 3:24
  Speaker 1: dope mega cameras, so we're gonna look so pretty. We're
• 3:27
  Speaker 1: gonna look as we're gonna look our prettiest. Also, Donald
• 3:30
  Speaker 1: and I are both getting in shape to act, so
• 3:32
  Speaker 1: we look as handsome as we've ever looked. Well, I
• 3:34
  Speaker 1: don't look as handsome as I've ever looked. I'm on
• 3:38
  Speaker 1: the road. You're looking good, buddy, You're looking fine. You
• 3:42
  Speaker 1: looking fly. You are a gentleman and a scholar. There's
• 3:46
  Speaker 1: going to Bill Lawrence is our is our main guest.
• 3:49
  Speaker 1: He's very excited. He called me with so many questions
• 3:52
  Speaker 1: from London. He's returning. He'll be returning from ted Lasso
• 3:56
  Speaker 1: production to come be on our show. And and that's it.
• 4:00
  Speaker 1: I think it's going to be roughly two hours what
• 4:02
  Speaker 1: we're aiming for. It'll be if you're in North America,
• 4:05
  Speaker 1: it will be six on the West coast nine on
• 4:08
  Speaker 1: the East Coast, and of course for all the other countries.
• 4:10
  Speaker 1: You just have to google the time difference between you
• 4:14
  Speaker 1: and Los Angeles, um, and you can watch it live
• 4:16
  Speaker 1: and if you're in the middle of the night and
• 4:17
  Speaker 1: it's asleep, you can watch it the next day or
• 4:19
  Speaker 1: blah blah blah blah blah, do well anything. I'm forgetting
• 4:21
  Speaker 1: to explain to people that might have questions, I don't think.
• 4:24
  Speaker 1: So some'clock you guys can come in. We saw people
• 4:26
  Speaker 1: in the chat already. Yeah, the chat isn't up and running,
• 4:30
  Speaker 1: so go for yours. Not that we'll be up in there,
• 4:35
  Speaker 1: but no, no, no, there'll be other fake doctor's, real
• 4:38
  Speaker 1: friends fans in there. So if you ll talk with
• 4:41
  Speaker 1: your with your peers, go right ahead. The sound machine
• 4:46
  Speaker 1: will be labeled so I won't accidentally hit the wrong thing.
• 4:49
  Speaker 1: Wo tank forever and um forever. All right, let's go
• 4:55
  Speaker 1: ahead and let's invite my mom and the show. Yeah,
• 4:59
  Speaker 1: let's count said baby, five, six, seven, eight stories about
• 5:04
  Speaker 1: shore we made about a bunch of docs and nurses.
• 5:09
  Speaker 1: Jan I said, here's the stories. Never should so yetto
• 5:16
  Speaker 1: around you. Here are yeadoo around you here at oh
• 5:26
  Speaker 1: my God, I'm nervous. Hi, Hi, mommy, Hi. I'm just
• 5:35
  Speaker 1: making sure I'm doing this right. Mom. Don't worry about
• 5:38
  Speaker 1: ninety eight percent of the people we have on have
• 5:40
  Speaker 1: trouble connecting, So don't worry, especially Sarah Chuck for some reason. Yeah,
• 5:45
  Speaker 1: Sarah Chuck every single time, Well every time, you've been
• 5:48
  Speaker 1: good company. Yeah yeah, yeah to Donald, because I haven't
• 5:52
  Speaker 1: really said hi, sweetheart, how a Hi, how are you?
• 5:55
  Speaker 1: It's good to see you and to see you too,
• 5:58
  Speaker 1: right on before we're all off and everything. I gotta
• 6:01
  Speaker 1: get my wife up here because she's gonna want to
• 6:02
  Speaker 1: say hi too. She found out you were on the show,
• 6:05
  Speaker 1: she was like, don't let me, don't forget to come
• 6:07
  Speaker 1: he tell my mom. We're gonna get to her book.
• 6:09
  Speaker 1: But tell my mom what you said the second you
• 6:11
  Speaker 1: got on Your book made me cry, like weep, like cry.
• 6:15
  Speaker 1: I had a really strong emotional response to it. No,
• 6:20
  Speaker 1: that's an interesting, Donald, because that's why I couldn't get
• 6:23
  Speaker 1: it published by traditional publishers. They said that parents wouldn't
• 6:27
  Speaker 1: buy it because it was too sad. Oh. I didn't
• 6:31
  Speaker 1: think it was too sad. I just I never really
• 6:33
  Speaker 1: looked at it from the kid's point of view. I always,
• 6:35
  Speaker 1: you know, being a divorced parent, you always look at
• 6:39
  Speaker 1: it from your point of view and how you know,
• 6:41
  Speaker 1: how you feel, And it just broke my heart that
• 6:44
  Speaker 1: the kid was hurting for a little bit, but she
• 6:47
  Speaker 1: had such amazing parents that they were willing to work
• 6:52
  Speaker 1: it out. And it wasn't like that when my parents
• 6:54
  Speaker 1: got divorced, you know what I mean. And it wasn't
• 6:56
  Speaker 1: like that when I got divorced, and it was so
• 6:58
  Speaker 1: it was so refreshing to see a family that was
• 7:02
  Speaker 1: able to do it. And so it wasn't like some
• 7:04
  Speaker 1: of it was sad, but some of it was like joy,
• 7:06
  Speaker 1: like wow, like you know, if they could get this together,
• 7:10
  Speaker 1: you know, maybe I could have gotten it together. Well,
• 7:13
  Speaker 1: I wanted next, I wanted the parents to be kind
• 7:18
  Speaker 1: of a model for parents reading the book. Yeah, so
• 7:21
  Speaker 1: they could say, well, what could we try any of this?
• 7:24
  Speaker 1: Could we try something? You know? Yeah, as it really is,
• 7:28
  Speaker 1: you know, there's a lot of research on this, and
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  Speaker 1: it really is better for the kids if the parents
• 7:33
  Speaker 1: can remain respectful to each other and generous to each other. Well,
• 7:37
  Speaker 1: let's let's just dive right into this because it's just
• 7:40
  Speaker 1: happening naturally. Um, we want to talk to my mom
• 7:43
  Speaker 1: because she's my mom and when I and we love
• 7:46
  Speaker 1: her obviously Donald and Donald's like a part of the family.
• 7:50
  Speaker 1: And um, but and and talk about my mom's experience
• 7:54
  Speaker 1: of what Scrubs was like from her point of view,
• 7:56
  Speaker 1: and maybe some funny childhood stories. But the first thing
• 7:59
  Speaker 1: we want the things we wanted to have her on
• 8:01
  Speaker 1: was my mom is a wonderful psychologist who's occasionally I
• 8:05
  Speaker 1: give out words of her wisdom to all of you listeners.
• 8:09
  Speaker 1: And when I was a child, she wrote a popular
• 8:12
  Speaker 1: children's book about adoption for children called The Mulberry Bird.
• 8:16
  Speaker 1: Um and UM. If you have an adopted child, I
• 8:20
  Speaker 1: can obviously highly recommend that book. It has been it's
• 8:24
  Speaker 1: very very popular for adopted families. But recently, my mom,
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  Speaker 1: as she will discuss and tell us, UM, noticed that
• 8:32
  Speaker 1: there she was having trouble finding the right book to
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  Speaker 1: discuss divorce with your child roughly ages six to ten,
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  Speaker 1: m and and decided that she would set about to
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  Speaker 1: write one herself. So what is it, Mom that you
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  Speaker 1: m that you thought wasn't out there for for parents?
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  Speaker 1: You know, I don't remember when when you and Dad
• 8:53
  Speaker 1: got divorced, really any children's books that were I mean,
• 8:56
  Speaker 1: obviously you were skilled as a psychologist to handle it
• 8:59
  Speaker 1: as best as you could. But tell me, tell everyone
• 9:02
  Speaker 1: in us what came to your mind when you said,
• 9:05
  Speaker 1: I want to create something that will help parents talk
• 9:07
  Speaker 1: to their children. Well, it's a similar story as as
• 9:14
  Speaker 1: existed for the mulberry bird, and that is a story
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  Speaker 1: that tells the child what happened with the birth mother.
• 9:21
  Speaker 1: And there were no books for children about adoption at
• 9:24
  Speaker 1: that time, and there's still very few where the birth
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  Speaker 1: mother's story is told, and that's the story the child
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  Speaker 1: really wants to hear. So when I thought about the
• 9:33
  Speaker 1: Falling Downtime, I thought, well, the children's books that exist
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  Speaker 1: for divorced divorcing parents to read now are based on
• 9:43
  Speaker 1: the parents wish for the child to be okay. The
• 9:47
  Speaker 1: parents profound wish that they aren't hurting their child, and
• 9:50
  Speaker 1: so they're all pretty cheerful, like it's going to be okay,
• 9:55
  Speaker 1: You're going to have more toys, you're going to have
• 9:57
  Speaker 1: another bedroom, you're going to go to do this and that,
• 10:00
  Speaker 1: and it's all very um. You might be sad, but
• 10:05
  Speaker 1: it's all going to be fine. Yeah, so I thought
• 10:07
  Speaker 1: I wanted to write a book from the child's perspective,
• 10:11
  Speaker 1: which would first of all, show what the child remembers
• 10:15
  Speaker 1: everything being all right, and for for a child, that's
• 10:19
  Speaker 1: what they remember, and suddenly, for some reason, things are
• 10:24
  Speaker 1: not all right and they don't know why. Yeah, it
• 10:28
  Speaker 1: was it. That was also what I think triggered my
• 10:33
  Speaker 1: emotional response. Everything was so vivid and the memories were
• 10:37
  Speaker 1: so vivid in the beginning, you know, remember, yes, so
• 10:42
  Speaker 1: specific and like it was like fresh and in the
• 10:46
  Speaker 1: child's head. And then all of a sudden there was
• 10:50
  Speaker 1: the shift, and the kid didn't know what it was,
• 10:54
  Speaker 1: but just everything wasn't the same. And yeah, and I
• 10:58
  Speaker 1: imagine they very often and internalize that and make it
• 11:01
  Speaker 1: that they did something wrong. That's a very common response
• 11:06
  Speaker 1: for children to have, is that this strange thing is
• 11:09
  Speaker 1: happening and their parents. I think one of the reasons
• 11:12
  Speaker 1: they they think they've done something wrong is their parents
• 11:15
  Speaker 1: become quieter and sadder and more distant. And these observations
• 11:22
  Speaker 1: sort of resemble when their mom or dad has been
• 11:24
  Speaker 1: mad at them in the past, So they think, oh,
• 11:27
  Speaker 1: I've done something. Surely this couldn't have happened, just out
• 11:32
  Speaker 1: of the blue, I must have done something. Children are
• 11:35
  Speaker 1: very egocentric. They think that the world revolves around them.
• 11:39
  Speaker 1: I never thought of it in the context before of like, oh,
• 11:42
  Speaker 1: when they're behaving the same way to behave when they're
• 11:44
  Speaker 1: mad at me, because they've gotten quiet and there and
• 11:47
  Speaker 1: they're not as I don't know, silly and effusive or
• 11:50
  Speaker 1: whatever the exactly exactly. So that is why I wrote
• 11:57
  Speaker 1: the book. And the book is called The Falling Down Time,
• 12:01
  Speaker 1: One Child Story about divorce, and it is available on Amazon,
• 12:05
  Speaker 1: and it was written by my mom, and it is
• 12:09
  Speaker 1: the talk a little bit to mom about people who say, well,
• 12:11
  Speaker 1: you know, I'm hearing Donald say he cried. I'm hearing
• 12:13
  Speaker 1: you guys say you were emotional. What do you say
• 12:16
  Speaker 1: to the parent who say, well, I don't I don't
• 12:18
  Speaker 1: want to face my child's sadness about this. I want
• 12:22
  Speaker 1: the you know. I imagine parents are nervous about doing
• 12:27
  Speaker 1: the honest, sort of emotional children's book as opposed to
• 12:31
  Speaker 1: the chipper one you know about You'll have two sets
• 12:33
  Speaker 1: of toys. Yeah, well, that's a really good question, because
• 12:37
  Speaker 1: that is a challenge for parents. It's a really big
• 12:40
  Speaker 1: challenge for people who are divorcing to be able to
• 12:45
  Speaker 1: say what can I possibly do that would be good
• 12:48
  Speaker 1: for my child? And what you can do. One of
• 12:51
  Speaker 1: the things you can do is let them feel what
• 12:53
  Speaker 1: they're feeling. Don't hold it, don't don't don't don't don't
• 12:58
  Speaker 1: push those feelings away, right, And it is going to
• 13:01
  Speaker 1: do as a parent. You are going to feel terrible
• 13:03
  Speaker 1: about this at times, but something terrible is happening in
• 13:07
  Speaker 1: your life and in their life, and to pretend that
• 13:11
  Speaker 1: that's different is really a kind of abandonment. Really, it's
• 13:16
  Speaker 1: kind of walking away from the child into into what
• 13:20
  Speaker 1: you need. And it really isn't about what you need
• 13:24
  Speaker 1: right now, it's what your child needs. Yeah, it's like
• 13:29
  Speaker 1: the parent doesn't want to deal with the emotion because
• 13:31
  Speaker 1: that's really hard. So but you're saying that that's you can't.
• 13:35
  Speaker 1: You can't abandon the child's emotions. You have to face
• 13:38
  Speaker 1: it straight on. Yeah you can. You can abandon them,
• 13:41
  Speaker 1: but it isn't good for them right right. Yeah, it's
• 13:45
  Speaker 1: very it's you know, it's very interesting. My kids and
• 13:47
  Speaker 1: I we had a really rough time after my ex
• 13:51
  Speaker 1: wife and I got divorced, and we're all good now.
• 13:56
  Speaker 1: But I can I remember thinking, oh, there's probably never
• 14:00
  Speaker 1: going to see each other again, or we're probably never
• 14:02
  Speaker 1: going to talk again. I remember we talked about that
• 14:05
  Speaker 1: at some time at some point. And now, I mean,
• 14:10
  Speaker 1: now my kids live with me, and you know, it's
• 14:13
  Speaker 1: it's it's amazing how things shifted. But I do at
• 14:18
  Speaker 1: the end of the book, when you know, when when
• 14:22
  Speaker 1: the child gives encouragement to other kids. You know, from
• 14:26
  Speaker 1: what I understand, a lot of kids go through this
• 14:28
  Speaker 1: and they all turned out pretty well. That was also
• 14:31
  Speaker 1: one of those moments like, yes, you're absolutely right, and
• 14:33
  Speaker 1: I got emotional about that because my kids are with
• 14:36
  Speaker 1: me now, and I remember there was a moment when
• 14:38
  Speaker 1: that wasn't a possibility and I didn't see and I
• 14:40
  Speaker 1: couldn't see that light at the end of the tunnel.
• 14:43
  Speaker 1: And now, you know. I think one of the things
• 14:45
  Speaker 1: that's so special about your book, too, Mom, is, like
• 14:47
  Speaker 1: like Donald said, it like an episode of The Simpsons
• 14:50
  Speaker 1: in a comedic way, is funny to kids on a
• 14:52
  Speaker 1: kid level, and adults are getting stuff that's going over
• 14:54
  Speaker 1: their head. I feel like the Falling Downtime is is
• 14:59
  Speaker 1: good for for both parents and kids. The kids are
• 15:01
  Speaker 1: going to get their version of the story and the parents,
• 15:04
  Speaker 1: like Donald's is saying, as a parent of divorce children
• 15:07
  Speaker 1: is going to get their emotional but sort of a
• 15:11
  Speaker 1: guide book in a small sense of how how you
• 15:13
  Speaker 1: could behave in a healthy way for the for the child,
• 15:16
  Speaker 1: but told from a children child's point of view, which
• 15:18
  Speaker 1: I thought was really really well done. Thank you, thank you.
• 15:21
  Speaker 1: That's my whole. Yeah, you're such a good writer too.
• 15:24
  Speaker 1: And I know you're saying, listener that I'm biased, but
• 15:27
  Speaker 1: she is such a good writer. My mom, how about this,
• 15:29
  Speaker 1: get the book? How about this, go out, get the
• 15:31
  Speaker 1: book and then being a judge for yourself. All right,
• 15:33
  Speaker 1: how about that? Get the book. It's on Amazon. But
• 15:36
  Speaker 1: my mom's the kind of person that will write you
• 15:38
  Speaker 1: like a thank you note and you've got like tears
• 15:41
  Speaker 1: in your eyes because it's so beautiful. You're such a
• 15:43
  Speaker 1: good writer. Um, let's segue a bit, mom and talk
• 15:46
  Speaker 1: about Um what what zat's talk about? Zachly, Yeah, let's
• 15:49
  Speaker 1: switch to me enough about the book to me, No,
• 15:53
  Speaker 1: but I thought I thought that, you know, for listeners
• 15:56
  Speaker 1: who who are here because they love the show Scrubs,
• 15:58
  Speaker 1: it might be interesting from from your perspective. You know,
• 16:01
  Speaker 1: what was it. What was it like? Do you remember
• 16:03
  Speaker 1: the day I called you and said, you know, I've
• 16:05
  Speaker 1: been trying to be an actor since I was a child.
• 16:07
  Speaker 1: And we can talk about that too, but do you
• 16:09
  Speaker 1: remember the day and what your feelings were? I had
• 16:11
  Speaker 1: six callbacks for scrubs? Do you remember that whole process?
• 16:15
  Speaker 1: I do. I do remember, and it was very, very exciting.
• 16:20
  Speaker 1: Um And the interesting thing is, I look back on it,
• 16:24
  Speaker 1: it was hard for me to put it into a
• 16:26
  Speaker 1: context because to me, you had been successful at that
• 16:31
  Speaker 1: point for a long time. And I didn't really until
• 16:35
  Speaker 1: you helped me understand it, realize what a big deal
• 16:38
  Speaker 1: it was. Hey, why did you think I'd been successful
• 16:40
  Speaker 1: for a long time when i'd been when I was
• 16:42
  Speaker 1: a waiter when I got the part. I mean not
• 16:44
  Speaker 1: to dis waiters, but I was. I was. I was
• 16:46
  Speaker 1: barely surviving on money. But this success for me was
• 16:50
  Speaker 1: not about money. It was about your abilities and your
• 16:54
  Speaker 1: talent and and and you had been getting callbacks since
• 16:58
  Speaker 1: you were fourteen years old, a lot of callbacks. You've
• 17:01
  Speaker 1: been auditioning from that age, and people were calling us
• 17:05
  Speaker 1: in to talk to us and tell us maybe you
• 17:08
  Speaker 1: weren't going to get the part. But you were fantastic,
• 17:10
  Speaker 1: and so we were hearing as parents that you were very,
• 17:14
  Speaker 1: very talented, and I really only I honestly thought it
• 17:18
  Speaker 1: was only a matter of time. Oh really, you never
• 17:21
  Speaker 1: told me that i'd like to hear that. Yeah, I
• 17:23
  Speaker 1: didn't know. I didn't know. I mean, it's so stressful
• 17:25
  Speaker 1: for parents. And I'm sure if you're a parent listening
• 17:27
  Speaker 1: and your child is pursuing the arts, you know you
• 17:29
  Speaker 1: want to support them and you want to love them,
• 17:31
  Speaker 1: and of course you want them to follow their dreams,
• 17:33
  Speaker 1: but there has to be nerves like, oh, I hope
• 17:35
  Speaker 1: that they can make a living at this. Of course, Okay,
• 17:39
  Speaker 1: but how do you handle it if your kid doesn't
• 17:41
  Speaker 1: have it and you're getting the feedback of well this
• 17:45
  Speaker 1: might not be yeah, but you But that's up to
• 17:48
  Speaker 1: the child, I mean the child, the young adult, or
• 17:51
  Speaker 1: the adult to decide when to give up. You get
• 17:53
  Speaker 1: the parent, I mean, I we're talking. I'm telling the
• 17:56
  Speaker 1: psychologist what to think, but it seems to me the
• 17:58
  Speaker 1: parent can't decide that. You have to let the kid
• 18:00
  Speaker 1: or the young adult figure that out. But there has
• 18:03
  Speaker 1: to be some honesty in there too, Exactly, don't you
• 18:06
  Speaker 1: have to be like, okay, well, I'm not trying to
• 18:09
  Speaker 1: crush your dreams. They said, I'm a butt, but they
• 18:13
  Speaker 1: said you don't got what it takes, baby, and that
• 18:16
  Speaker 1: you should probably think about going into sanitation, Like what
• 18:20
  Speaker 1: doesn't have to be sanitation? Well, I always I always
• 18:24
  Speaker 1: thought that, I've said this on the show. I always
• 18:25
  Speaker 1: My plan was always I'm gonna give it my all,
• 18:27
  Speaker 1: but if not, I will do something in production. And
• 18:30
  Speaker 1: I say this to people again, I'll say it now.
• 18:32
  Speaker 1: If you're pursuing the arts and you know your backup
• 18:34
  Speaker 1: doesn't have to be being an orthodonist, which is always
• 18:37
  Speaker 1: what I pick as the my random career. It could
• 18:39
  Speaker 1: be something and you can still work in filmmaking and
• 18:42
  Speaker 1: TV making. You might not be the star in front
• 18:44
  Speaker 1: of the camera, but you'll you can be in the process.
• 18:47
  Speaker 1: I'm sorry, mom, you go, you go. How do you
• 18:48
  Speaker 1: How does a parent deal with this? Well, there's a
• 18:50
  Speaker 1: couple of things on table here. One is Donald's question
• 18:54
  Speaker 1: about how do you help a child when you really
• 18:58
  Speaker 1: you know, you'll look at each other and say, this
• 19:00
  Speaker 1: isn't happening. You know, I think conversations about that that
• 19:05
  Speaker 1: aren't really like, well, why don't you go into something else.
• 19:08
  Speaker 1: But let's talk about a whole lot of things you
• 19:10
  Speaker 1: could do with what you know how to do. Let's
• 19:13
  Speaker 1: make a list, And that segues into what Zach is
• 19:16
  Speaker 1: saying is that if your child is wanting to be
• 19:19
  Speaker 1: a dancer but isn't a good enough dancer to be
• 19:25
  Speaker 1: making a living at it, well there's a lot of
• 19:27
  Speaker 1: things that's around dancing and performing and those kinds of
• 19:31
  Speaker 1: things could be doing an usher. No, Mom, I think
• 19:37
  Speaker 1: I have this in my mind because you always probably
• 19:40
  Speaker 1: help me, help me figure this out, which is like,
• 19:43
  Speaker 1: you know, there's a there's a myriad of things you
• 19:45
  Speaker 1: can do that aren't the exact thing aimed for that goal.
• 19:49
  Speaker 1: But then but then have things lower on the on
• 19:51
  Speaker 1: the pyramid that are things you you will be skilled
• 19:54
  Speaker 1: at at that point that you can also do. I
• 19:56
  Speaker 1: don't think that you. I don't think that I help
• 20:00
  Speaker 1: you figured that out. I'm going to tell a story
• 20:02
  Speaker 1: now from a long time ago that you've heard before
• 20:05
  Speaker 1: and Donald probably has, and this illustrates that you knew
• 20:11
  Speaker 1: from a very early age that there were other things.
• 20:14
  Speaker 1: When you were seven years old, for your birthday, you
• 20:18
  Speaker 1: asked us if we would buy you were curtains to
• 20:22
  Speaker 1: hang in the TV room center of the TV room.
• 20:28
  Speaker 1: Oh my god. And well the curtain guy, the curtain
• 20:31
  Speaker 1: guy must have been like, wait, what in the mid
• 20:34
  Speaker 1: really want the curtain? Do you remember? It was? He like,
• 20:37
  Speaker 1: you want to put a curtain in the middle of
• 20:38
  Speaker 1: I don't remember that. But you also said that was
• 20:42
  Speaker 1: not the only gift you wanted clip on lights from
• 20:45
  Speaker 1: the hardware story. You wanted a light board, lighting board.
• 20:55
  Speaker 1: Did they have a home lighting board for kids? You made?
• 21:02
  Speaker 1: I did, by the way, Donald listen, I made one.
• 21:05
  Speaker 1: What I did was she got me the clip on lights,
• 21:07
  Speaker 1: and I took I took multiple um time. You know
• 21:12
  Speaker 1: those things that are meant to go in. Yeah, I
• 21:14
  Speaker 1: don't know the thing you put. If you're in the
• 21:16
  Speaker 1: old days when you were going away and you wanted
• 21:18
  Speaker 1: your lights to go on and off the timer, so
• 21:20
  Speaker 1: I would rig the clip on lights with gaels on
• 21:23
  Speaker 1: them to those timer lights and I could flick the
• 21:25
  Speaker 1: switch on the timers. That's true, Sorry, mom, go ahead. No,
• 21:30
  Speaker 1: it really was true that you knew at that age,
• 21:33
  Speaker 1: you were seven years old, that there was something exciting
• 21:38
  Speaker 1: about the theater and about performing, and then you engaged
• 21:44
  Speaker 1: your siblings in making dramas, and you called it the
• 21:49
  Speaker 1: Braffrodzinski Theater. And you actually sold tickets when we had
• 21:53
  Speaker 1: the dinner party. You did say, could I You were
• 21:58
  Speaker 1: out on the front court tickets trying to make that money.
• 22:04
  Speaker 1: I got that hustle early, Donald. My mom's just trying
• 22:08
  Speaker 1: to have a dinner party. I'm out front charging tickets
• 22:10
  Speaker 1: to a play that the guests don't want to go to.
• 22:15
  Speaker 1: Can you imagine? Can you imagine you go to your
• 22:17
  Speaker 1: friend's house for dinner and they ken You're like, oh,
• 22:19
  Speaker 1: it's cute. He's selling tickets to the show. And then
• 22:21
  Speaker 1: dinners over You're like, wait, what we really have to
• 22:23
  Speaker 1: go to go to the show? Well, you were selling
• 22:26
  Speaker 1: tickets to the guests for dinner. Were you just selling
• 22:29
  Speaker 1: tickets to rent people walking down the street? Oh? No,
• 22:31
  Speaker 1: guests for dinner. But little did they know that they
• 22:33
  Speaker 1: had come to dinner. After dinner, there would be a play.
• 22:37
  Speaker 1: And they weren't always short plays, right mom. Sometimes they
• 22:44
  Speaker 1: had gravitas and death. They were a little bit convoluted
• 22:48
  Speaker 1: at chimes. Yes, and you're two younger sisters. Your older
• 22:52
  Speaker 1: sister and your younger sister were a cast of characters,
• 22:56
  Speaker 1: so you didn't have too much to work. Oh my god,
• 23:00
  Speaker 1: I remember this, mom, and I gotta tell you just
• 23:03
  Speaker 1: another kudos to you for being a great mom that
• 23:06
  Speaker 1: when I said, can I have a curtain in the
• 23:07
  Speaker 1: middle of the TV room, you said yes? And we
• 23:11
  Speaker 1: did so many plays we had. By the way, if
• 23:14
  Speaker 1: you have a child and you don't have to put
• 23:15
  Speaker 1: it in the middle of the room, or if they
• 23:16
  Speaker 1: have a playroom, you could put it like one third
• 23:19
  Speaker 1: of the way through the room. But I gotta tell you,
• 23:22
  Speaker 1: this curtain that was, you know, probably not super expensive.
• 23:25
  Speaker 1: We got so much joy from just the idea of
• 23:29
  Speaker 1: we're putting on a show and we can pull the
• 23:31
  Speaker 1: curtain and do a show. And then the big feature
• 23:34
  Speaker 1: of it was it had to be a curtain. You Yeah,
• 23:38
  Speaker 1: that's what it was. We got so many hours of
• 23:41
  Speaker 1: joy out of that damn curtain. Yeah, yeah, yeah, I
• 23:45
  Speaker 1: think you know. I was also into the tech, you know,
• 23:46
  Speaker 1: as you know, I was into the technical theater. So
• 23:48
  Speaker 1: these these these shows would sometimes have elaborate set changes
• 23:52
  Speaker 1: that the audience would have to wait while me and
• 23:55
  Speaker 1: my little sister were changing the set behind the curtain. Okay,
• 24:06
  Speaker 1: so let me ask you a question. You knew you
• 24:08
  Speaker 1: wanted to be in theater, you knew you wanted to
• 24:10
  Speaker 1: be a performer of some sort. When did you realize
• 24:13
  Speaker 1: you wanted to tell stories too? Though? When was that?
• 24:15
  Speaker 1: When did that become part of the it's a good question.
• 24:19
  Speaker 1: I have an early memory of standing in front of
• 24:22
  Speaker 1: I think it was fifth grade. We had been given
• 24:24
  Speaker 1: an assignment that we were going to read a story.
• 24:26
  Speaker 1: I may have told this before in the podcast, right.
• 24:28
  Speaker 1: We were told to read a story, and then we
• 24:29
  Speaker 1: were going to read. Those who swanted to could read
• 24:32
  Speaker 1: it in front of the classroom. And I wrote my story,
• 24:35
  Speaker 1: and I included the characters in my story were kids
• 24:39
  Speaker 1: in the class, So I made them the prota, certain
• 24:42
  Speaker 1: kids in the class that were you know, popular or
• 24:45
  Speaker 1: everybody liked. I kind of made them the protagonists. And
• 24:48
  Speaker 1: then when I it was funny, And when I read
• 24:50
  Speaker 1: the story, the whole class, including the teacher, were belly laughing,
• 24:55
  Speaker 1: And I remember like looking up being like this feeling.
• 24:58
  Speaker 1: I wrote this at my desk and all of these kids,
• 25:01
  Speaker 1: including that teacher, are cracking up. Is like was like
• 25:06
  Speaker 1: a Eureka moment for me, like, oh, I want to
• 25:08
  Speaker 1: keep doing this like this, not only performing it, but
• 25:12
  Speaker 1: the fact that these are my thoughts that I said,
• 25:15
  Speaker 1: Naima Johnson did something, you know, funny on this adventure
• 25:19
  Speaker 1: that I'd made up. Whatever it was, it was a
• 25:21
  Speaker 1: great It was a great feeling. And I think that
• 25:25
  Speaker 1: that that it's sort of just kind of dovetailed into
• 25:27
  Speaker 1: all the things I was doing, the community, theater, the
• 25:29
  Speaker 1: camp and stuff like that. Did you get a lot
• 25:31
  Speaker 1: of calls from school about how creative your son was?
• 25:34
  Speaker 1: And um, when he was in school, Um, he didn't
• 25:39
  Speaker 1: do a lot of theater. He did theater camp in
• 25:42
  Speaker 1: the summer. But one story I do remember is when
• 25:45
  Speaker 1: he was in high school, he was very active in
• 25:49
  Speaker 1: the television and radio station they had at the high school.
• 25:52
  Speaker 1: A what was it? What did you call it? Um, Well,
• 25:56
  Speaker 1: in college it was called RTVF. I forgot what the
• 25:58
  Speaker 1: what the high version of them, which is where you
• 26:00
  Speaker 1: rolling the TV the av squad. I told everyone to
• 26:05
  Speaker 1: Mom about how I was when I was younger. I
• 26:07
  Speaker 1: was I thought I was so cool because I was
• 26:10
  Speaker 1: on the I was on the team that would roll
• 26:12
  Speaker 1: the projectors into the classroom, and I I just I
• 26:14
  Speaker 1: thought I was Fonzie. I just thought there was nobody
• 26:17
  Speaker 1: cooler than me because I was wheeling that projector into
• 26:20
  Speaker 1: the classroom. There you are, I mean, yeah, but I
• 26:23
  Speaker 1: go ahead, tell them tell the story about itself. The
• 26:25
  Speaker 1: story is that there was a news program that um
• 26:30
  Speaker 1: was on a local station, you know, that they had
• 26:35
  Speaker 1: in the community, and so they did a real news program.
• 26:38
  Speaker 1: I think every week, Sack, I don't know, something like that. Yeah, anyway,
• 26:41
  Speaker 1: I remember it was Channel thirty five. Yes, and you
• 26:44
  Speaker 1: were I guess for a series of them or a
• 26:49
  Speaker 1: couple of them. You were the director. Yeah, and uh
• 26:53
  Speaker 1: you won Director of the Year at in high school
• 26:56
  Speaker 1: that year, my first award for directing. Yes, and this
• 27:01
  Speaker 1: is one of the moments I remember being very proud
• 27:04
  Speaker 1: of you. And it's happened since then, but this was
• 27:07
  Speaker 1: one of the first. The man who ran the program
• 27:10
  Speaker 1: came over to me afterwards and said, you have no
• 27:13
  Speaker 1: idea how wonderful he is with all the people who
• 27:17
  Speaker 1: are doing this program. He's talking to them through the
• 27:21
  Speaker 1: microphone and telling them they're doing a great job. He's
• 27:24
  Speaker 1: telling them that was wonderful. I love that when they
• 27:28
  Speaker 1: make a mistake, he's telling them, don't worry. He's whispering
• 27:31
  Speaker 1: to them and he said, I never saw anything like that.
• 27:35
  Speaker 1: So it made me very proud of you as a person.
• 27:38
  Speaker 1: You brought tears to my eyes, Mom, because I love
• 27:41
  Speaker 1: that you told that story. But also I was a
• 27:43
  Speaker 1: very happy time. You know, I did feel quite alienated
• 27:46
  Speaker 1: in high school. As you know. I had friends and everything,
• 27:48
  Speaker 1: but I just couldn't I wasn't into sports, and I
• 27:49
  Speaker 1: couldn't find my thing. And in that TV group I
• 27:53
  Speaker 1: found my people, and in directing, I found a thing
• 27:56
  Speaker 1: that really lit me up. And I really happy member
• 28:00
  Speaker 1: reads from being there. So I just have to say
• 28:02
  Speaker 1: one more thing that every time I visit one of
• 28:04
  Speaker 1: your sets, you've been going for a while, you all
• 28:07
  Speaker 1: know each other, the thing is humming, and somebody, at
• 28:11
  Speaker 1: least one person often more come over to me and say,
• 28:16
  Speaker 1: your son is running a beautiful set here. We all
• 28:19
  Speaker 1: love each other and we love him and that's a
• 28:22
  Speaker 1: beautiful thing. And that started with that director in high school. Yeah,
• 28:28
  Speaker 1: mister Mullen, Yeah, yeah, shout out, mister Mullen. I bet
• 28:33
  Speaker 1: you never thought, never thought you'd get a shout out,
• 28:36
  Speaker 1: mister mullin. But mister Mullen, I don't know if you'll
• 28:38
  Speaker 1: listen to the Truthfully, I'm not even I'm not even
• 28:41
  Speaker 1: sure if he's still with us. But he was a
• 28:43
  Speaker 1: wonderful teacher. And uh, and it was a great experience.
• 28:47
  Speaker 1: Um wow, I wonder if any of my teachers listen
• 28:51
  Speaker 1: to our podcast. If you do. And you failed me,
• 28:54
  Speaker 1: and you thought I wasn't going to amount to anything
• 28:57
  Speaker 1: in your face so much? Yeah, and your face. I
• 29:03
  Speaker 1: remember I had a teacher that my charms didn't work
• 29:06
  Speaker 1: on her, and she she this was at the height
• 29:08
  Speaker 1: of family ties, I think, and and I thought I
• 29:12
  Speaker 1: thought I was I thought I was a little like
• 29:14
  Speaker 1: Alex P. Keaton and and but this is so she
• 29:17
  Speaker 1: she came. We were all waiting outside the class, and
• 29:19
  Speaker 1: she showed up late. And I think I was like
• 29:22
  Speaker 1: trying to be like a funny wise ass and I
• 29:25
  Speaker 1: was like pointing to my watch, like and she turned
• 29:29
  Speaker 1: to me and she said, Zach, I'm really not into
• 29:31
  Speaker 1: the whole Alex P. Keaton thing. Oh I never forgot
• 29:36
  Speaker 1: that that had to feel good. It hurt my feelings
• 29:41
  Speaker 1: that I that she didn't think my Alex P. Keaton
• 29:43
  Speaker 1: esque charm was charming. But I but, um, but the
• 29:47
  Speaker 1: fact that you the fact that she knew that you
• 29:49
  Speaker 1: were doing Alex P. Keaton without you being like I'm
• 29:51
  Speaker 1: doing Alex P. Keaton. No, I mean I'm saying I
• 29:55
  Speaker 1: try to be. That was silver lining right there. The
• 29:59
  Speaker 1: silver line is freaking. I'm a genius actor because I impressionist,
• 30:04
  Speaker 1: because I was playing a character and you picked up
• 30:06
  Speaker 1: one it. Yes, you got what I was going with. Um, Um,
• 30:10
  Speaker 1: wait what I was thinking about something? What are we
• 30:12
  Speaker 1: talking about? Right before that? Um? We were talking about you?
• 30:15
  Speaker 1: But yeah, I blank tongue. Um, so mom, what was
• 30:20
  Speaker 1: it like? No, but go go back to obviously, Well,
• 30:22
  Speaker 1: I wanted to talk about Scrubs. Um, you do you
• 30:25
  Speaker 1: remember when I called you? You were I think you
• 30:26
  Speaker 1: were the first call I made when I because when
• 30:29
  Speaker 1: I after my sixth audition for Scrubs, I had a
• 30:33
  Speaker 1: Motorola star Tech if you recall those, and I put
• 30:36
  Speaker 1: it on the I had been told that I will
• 30:38
  Speaker 1: know sooner, i'd know probably today or tomorrow, and I
• 30:41
  Speaker 1: put the Motorola star Tech I remember, on the passenger
• 30:45
  Speaker 1: seat of my Nissan two forty SX, and I just
• 30:48
  Speaker 1: started driving on the one on one Freeway and my
• 30:52
  Speaker 1: phone rang and it was I believe it was Bill Lawrence,
• 30:57
  Speaker 1: who said, I'm I'm not supposed to tell you because
• 31:01
  Speaker 1: every other people want to tell you, but you got it,
• 31:03
  Speaker 1: and I'm so excited, and I was freaking out, and
• 31:06
  Speaker 1: I said, you know, I knew that you would be
• 31:08
  Speaker 1: my first call. So do you do you remember that
• 31:10
  Speaker 1: moment at all? You I do remember the call exactly,
• 31:12
  Speaker 1: and I remember I didn't know about all the callbacks.
• 31:15
  Speaker 1: I didn't know the process at all, because I think
• 31:18
  Speaker 1: you were kind of holding back because it was very big,
• 31:23
  Speaker 1: and I don't think you wanted to get us all excited,
• 31:26
  Speaker 1: you know, yeah, and then be disappointed. Um, And there's
• 31:30
  Speaker 1: nothing like that phone call when you got to tell
• 31:32
  Speaker 1: your mom. I didn't get to part, so I'm sure.
• 31:37
  Speaker 1: I know. I think I had turned, but with both
• 31:39
  Speaker 1: of my parents, I think I'd got into a place.
• 31:41
  Speaker 1: You know, I was waiting tables. I was in a lull.
• 31:43
  Speaker 1: You know, being an actor, there's highs and lows at
• 31:45
  Speaker 1: all stages. And at this stage, I had gotten some
• 31:48
  Speaker 1: indies and I had gotten some stuff, but I was
• 31:49
  Speaker 1: kind of at a lull. I was working as a waiter,
• 31:51
  Speaker 1: and I didn't wanted them to get excited before there
• 31:54
  Speaker 1: was any you know, so I would. I would even
• 31:56
  Speaker 1: if I even when I was six auditions in, I
• 31:57
  Speaker 1: was probably minimizing it because I didn't want to disapp
• 32:00
  Speaker 1: point them, you know, yes, yes, but it was very,
• 32:03
  Speaker 1: very exciting. And then what I think happened was that
• 32:07
  Speaker 1: it grew on me. You know, I began to realize
• 32:10
  Speaker 1: over a period of days and even weeks, what this
• 32:15
  Speaker 1: was going to be the first season. You know, we
• 32:19
  Speaker 1: didn't know, of course, that it would be many seasons.
• 32:22
  Speaker 1: And then the you know, it started to do very well.
• 32:26
  Speaker 1: You know, the ratings were extremely good, and it was exciting,
• 32:30
  Speaker 1: very very exciting. And I remember bringing Sarah home. We
• 32:34
  Speaker 1: were going to the upfronts, which we've talked about here
• 32:36
  Speaker 1: a bunch of times, and Sarah came over to the house,
• 32:39
  Speaker 1: and you everyone instantly fell in love with Sarah, as
• 32:42
  Speaker 1: you do in real life. And I remember at one point,
• 32:46
  Speaker 1: you know, I had had girlfriends that weren't exactly helping
• 32:49
  Speaker 1: around the house that much as as a mom would
• 32:52
  Speaker 1: would like. And I remember Sarah was over just as
• 32:56
  Speaker 1: a friend, but there she was at the kitchen sink
• 32:59
  Speaker 1: doing dishes from dinner her and she called out, she
• 33:01
  Speaker 1: was like, did anyone let the dog out, and my
• 33:03
  Speaker 1: mom was like, I love her. Remember that. I remember
• 33:11
  Speaker 1: Sarry doing the dishes and calling over the water, did
• 33:14
  Speaker 1: anyone let the dog out? And my mom training and
• 33:16
  Speaker 1: be like, I love her. Oh my god, you can
• 33:24
  Speaker 1: marry her right now? I know. Well she is, uh,
• 33:27
  Speaker 1: she is quite a catch, and and we we miss her.
• 33:32
  Speaker 1: She's coming on the show a bunch, but we don't
• 33:34
  Speaker 1: see it that much because she's in Canada. Well, tell
• 33:38
  Speaker 1: me about do you remember visiting set for the first time?
• 33:40
  Speaker 1: What that was like? Yes, because it was like nothing
• 33:44
  Speaker 1: I had ever done before in my life. You know,
• 33:47
  Speaker 1: I'd never seen a set of that size and complexity.
• 33:51
  Speaker 1: And wait pause, look who it is? She is, my sweetheart.
• 33:57
  Speaker 1: Ah you, I'm good. How are you? I'm good, I'm good.
• 34:01
  Speaker 1: It's wonderful to see your face. Well, thank you. I
• 34:04
  Speaker 1: just took my anti aging face led mat Oh that's
• 34:09
  Speaker 1: why you look fourteen. Yes, thank you, thank you, thank you.
• 34:14
  Speaker 1: It works in the closet and phones on. Yeah, Mom,
• 34:19
  Speaker 1: I don't know if you know that. I know you
• 34:20
  Speaker 1: listen to the show sometimes, but this is this is
• 34:23
  Speaker 1: Donald's a home studio in their walking closet. I definitely
• 34:26
  Speaker 1: know about the closet this beautiful. Yeah, we always get
• 34:29
  Speaker 1: to see when when when you've picked up the dry cleaning. Yeah,
• 34:33
  Speaker 1: I was actually thinking about it this morning. I was like,
• 34:35
  Speaker 1: I need to redo the closet for this live show.
• 34:39
  Speaker 1: Now that we have now that we have HD cameras,
• 34:42
  Speaker 1: everything is more, everything's gonna be clearer. Oh my god,
• 34:45
  Speaker 1: that's so scary. We gotta figure something out this week.
• 34:48
  Speaker 1: And congratulations's so cute. I love looking at the online
• 34:53
  Speaker 1: They're just adorable. Oh, they're ready to come visit you
• 34:56
  Speaker 1: whenever you want. Oh, that would be so good. Now
• 34:59
  Speaker 1: out of this terrible time that we are all in
• 35:02
  Speaker 1: and we can know. I know we miss you so much.
• 35:06
  Speaker 1: We haven't seen you in so long. Last time we
• 35:08
  Speaker 1: saw you was like Zach's birth, like a little bit
• 35:11
  Speaker 1: after was it. I know it's will it will have
• 35:15
  Speaker 1: been over a year. Probably. My birthday is April sixth,
• 35:18
  Speaker 1: coming up, those of you who want to shower me
• 35:20
  Speaker 1: with presents, No, we know, we know everybody in your calendar,
• 35:24
  Speaker 1: a case on my calendar every year. All right, we
• 35:31
  Speaker 1: gotta go because we will call you. Okay, I love you.
• 35:33
  Speaker 1: Tell my mom that she's wonderful. I tell her all
• 35:36
  Speaker 1: the time. I tell her on Instagram all the time.
• 35:38
  Speaker 1: We liked each other from the first moment. Yes, all
• 35:43
  Speaker 1: because Casey's the kind of woman who'll say did anyone
• 35:45
  Speaker 1: let the dog out? Now, Casey won't say did anyone
• 35:49
  Speaker 1: let the dog out? She's not. I don't even know
• 35:52
  Speaker 1: what that means. It wasn't there. Um, So we have
• 35:56
  Speaker 1: a call her. Guys, we should go to break first.
• 35:58
  Speaker 1: Let's go to go to break and then we're gonna
• 36:00
  Speaker 1: take a caller that Joelle found to ask my mom
• 36:03
  Speaker 1: a question about talking to your children when you're going
• 36:07
  Speaker 1: through a very shitty thing called the divorce. We'll be
• 36:10
  Speaker 1: right back after these messages and any by back by,
• 36:22
  Speaker 1: all right, we're back. We're back. We're back back, and
• 36:25
  Speaker 1: Joelle bringing the caller to answer the caller's question, Say
• 36:31
  Speaker 1: hello to Chrissie Martel. Give it up for Chrissy Martei.
• 36:37
  Speaker 1: Where is your thunderous applause? Chrissie, we're giving you thunderous applause?
• 36:42
  Speaker 1: So excited. I this is like a dream come true.
• 36:46
  Speaker 1: Oh you're very sweet. We're so happy that you're here
• 36:49
  Speaker 1: and uh and that you're willing to come on and uh,
• 36:52
  Speaker 1: so you've got you see Joelle and Daniel. Um, I
• 36:54
  Speaker 1: don't know where the boxes are for you. That's Donald
• 36:56
  Speaker 1: who you recognize. And that beautiful woman with the scarf
• 36:59
  Speaker 1: is my mom in Hello. It's so I'm just honored
• 37:03
  Speaker 1: to meet you. It's so exciting. That's amazing. Well, we're
• 37:07
  Speaker 1: glad have you. Where are you calling from, Chrissy, Aurora, Illinois,
• 37:11
  Speaker 1: a western suburb of Chicago, Chicago in the house. Okay,
• 37:15
  Speaker 1: I know why Joel got you on the line. Chicago
• 37:19
  Speaker 1: natives stick together. You Illinois girls stick together. Yes, Illinois.
• 37:23
  Speaker 1: If you if you're from Illinois and you write in,
• 37:25
  Speaker 1: you're way more likely to get picked if you brag
• 37:27
  Speaker 1: about loving Illinois in the subject. Just brag about that,
• 37:30
  Speaker 1: or brag about Northwestern one or the other. Well, I
• 37:33
  Speaker 1: don't read them, Joel do so you have to. Maybe
• 37:35
  Speaker 1: you could say that you love rebels, you love Ganja,
• 37:38
  Speaker 1: you love all things that Joel might enjoy. Ps. Five.
• 37:43
  Speaker 1: Ganja's legal here now, so you know. Oh, welcome to
• 37:47
  Speaker 1: the club New Jersey too. By the way, all right, listen, Chrissy.
• 37:50
  Speaker 1: We had you on because we have the gift of
• 37:55
  Speaker 1: having a brilliant child psychologist here who's written a new
• 37:58
  Speaker 1: book called The Falling Downtime, which is aimed to help
• 38:02
  Speaker 1: children roughly six to ten mom deal with helping helping
• 38:08
  Speaker 1: parents talk to their children. And we had you on
• 38:11
  Speaker 1: because I understand that you're going through a divorce and
• 38:14
  Speaker 1: have children of this age, and we thought maybe you
• 38:16
  Speaker 1: could ask my mom a question that would help facilitate
• 38:19
  Speaker 1: more conversation for people that are in a similar place. So,
• 38:23
  Speaker 1: so go ahead with your question. I would love to um,
• 38:27
  Speaker 1: is it doctor Bradzynski? Yes, say and but please call
• 38:30
  Speaker 1: it well and it's it's a pleasure. So yes, I
• 38:34
  Speaker 1: am going through divorce. I am also a divorce attorney,
• 38:37
  Speaker 1: so I was telling Joel, I'm going the DIY route
• 38:41
  Speaker 1: representing myself. But you know, it's it is what it is.
• 38:45
  Speaker 1: And this has been a tough year for a lot
• 38:47
  Speaker 1: of parents, and a lot of parents of kids with
• 38:50
  Speaker 1: special needs, which I happen to be. I have two children,
• 38:54
  Speaker 1: ages four and a half and three. He's actually Oscar.
• 38:58
  Speaker 1: He's going to be turning three on Tuesday. So they
• 39:02
  Speaker 1: are a handful. They're awesome boys, they are autistic, and
• 39:07
  Speaker 1: you know, it's just tough sometimes and so parenting can
• 39:11
  Speaker 1: be difficult, but really, what I care most about is them,
• 39:16
  Speaker 1: and I think that's what I always tell my clients.
• 39:18
  Speaker 1: The most important thing is the best interests of the children,
• 39:22
  Speaker 1: making sure they're okay. And so my question is, you know,
• 39:26
  Speaker 1: when I am with my boys and they're a little
• 39:30
  Speaker 1: bit younger than your target audience, but as they grow,
• 39:32
  Speaker 1: you know, these things will probably be important too. They're
• 39:35
  Speaker 1: too young for this book, yeah, okay, Well when they
• 39:38
  Speaker 1: get old enough for it, and just as they get
• 39:41
  Speaker 1: old enough to maybe understand a little bit better about
• 39:43
  Speaker 1: mom and dad not living in the same house anymore,
• 39:48
  Speaker 1: you know, there will be a lot of questions. But
• 39:50
  Speaker 1: the one thing that I really care about the most
• 39:52
  Speaker 1: is just how they're feeling. And sometimes they'll be sad
• 39:56
  Speaker 1: and I can't exactly understand why. So I'm wondering should
• 40:02
  Speaker 1: I ask them specifically, are you sad because Dad's not here?
• 40:06
  Speaker 1: Or should I ask them why are you sad? You know,
• 40:09
  Speaker 1: because I don't want to bring it up if it's
• 40:11
  Speaker 1: not on their mind, But I also don't want to
• 40:14
  Speaker 1: glaze over it if it is something that I should
• 40:18
  Speaker 1: you address at any given time? Right, So, of course
• 40:24
  Speaker 1: I don't know your children, and so I'm I'm answering
• 40:28
  Speaker 1: in a kind of a global way, but you'll take
• 40:31
  Speaker 1: from it whatever works for you and your kids. In general,
• 40:35
  Speaker 1: it's safe to say knowing why a child is sad
• 40:39
  Speaker 1: is less important than being a person who notices that
• 40:44
  Speaker 1: they're sad. So, really, for your three year old, most
• 40:48
  Speaker 1: three year rolls don't really know why they're sad unless
• 40:51
  Speaker 1: something just happened, like someone took their toy or they
• 40:54
  Speaker 1: dropped some food or whatever it is. They know about
• 40:59
  Speaker 1: that sad, but the larger issues, which are in your
• 41:04
  Speaker 1: case sadness certainly about the divorce and some grief probably
• 41:09
  Speaker 1: as well. Three year olds feel, but they don't know
• 41:12
  Speaker 1: how to tell you. They don't have the language to
• 41:15
  Speaker 1: tell you. So the best thing to do if you
• 41:18
  Speaker 1: sense that three year old is sad is to kind
• 41:22
  Speaker 1: of maybe curl up in a nice cozy place and
• 41:26
  Speaker 1: get the stuffed animal that's the favorite, and read a
• 41:29
  Speaker 1: favorite book, maybe some food, some good food, and do
• 41:34
  Speaker 1: a little snuggling and just kind of be together and
• 41:40
  Speaker 1: make a plan for later rather than try to find out.
• 41:46
  Speaker 1: What you're doing is really acting as though you know,
• 41:51
  Speaker 1: and that is the most important thing in for your
• 41:57
  Speaker 1: four year old, it's a little different. Four and a
• 42:00
  Speaker 1: half year old, it's a little different. And again you'll
• 42:06
  Speaker 1: judge this from your kids and whatever parts of autism
• 42:10
  Speaker 1: are affecting them. But for four and a half year old,
• 42:13
  Speaker 1: you can be a little more explicit. But rather than
• 42:17
  Speaker 1: say what are you sad about? One of the things
• 42:21
  Speaker 1: I like to do a lot of drawings with kids
• 42:22
  Speaker 1: this age. They love to draw. So you can do
• 42:25
  Speaker 1: what I call a temperature tower. It's just a simple line,
• 42:29
  Speaker 1: a vertical line with one at the bottom and a
• 42:31
  Speaker 1: hundred at the top, and you draw one for you,
• 42:34
  Speaker 1: and you draw one for your child with their name
• 42:36
  Speaker 1: at the top, and the temperature chart is how am
• 42:40
  Speaker 1: I feeling right now? And you do yours first, and
• 42:45
  Speaker 1: you say, well, I'm about a seven. I'm okay, but
• 42:49
  Speaker 1: you know I might be a five. I don't know, sorry, mom.
• 42:53
  Speaker 1: If you do, you mean one to one to ten
• 42:55
  Speaker 1: or one to one hundred. Sorry I should have said
• 42:58
  Speaker 1: one to ten doesn't matter. Yeah, But you so you're saying,
• 43:01
  Speaker 1: if let's just let's stick with one to ten because
• 43:03
  Speaker 1: that's where you started. So you're saying one to ten,
• 43:06
  Speaker 1: So you say I'm a five or I'm a seven whatever,
• 43:09
  Speaker 1: Rather than even if you're a one, I wouldn't go there.
• 43:12
  Speaker 1: I would just sort of stay in the middle. But
• 43:14
  Speaker 1: it gives the child that's listening to you an option
• 43:17
  Speaker 1: to not be a ten. Now the child may say
• 43:21
  Speaker 1: I'm a ten, and that's interesting. But if you've come
• 43:23
  Speaker 1: through a little period of sadness and you sense something,
• 43:27
  Speaker 1: you could say, okay, you're at ten. Wow, that's amazing.
• 43:31
  Speaker 1: Sometimes I'm at ten, but I'm not always at ten.
• 43:34
  Speaker 1: So it's a kind of a way that you're communicating
• 43:37
  Speaker 1: together that you know that it isn't always okay, and
• 43:45
  Speaker 1: you may get a conversation out of that from your
• 43:48
  Speaker 1: four and a half year old, a little bit of conversation.
• 43:51
  Speaker 1: You can also say, well, when I do such and such,
• 43:55
  Speaker 1: I feel like a ten. And when I do this,
• 43:58
  Speaker 1: I tend to feel down a little bit lower. Do
• 44:00
  Speaker 1: you have any things that make you higher or lower?
• 44:04
  Speaker 1: Another thing is what I call it frown box. So
• 44:08
  Speaker 1: you don't say it's a sad box, but a frown
• 44:11
  Speaker 1: box is any little box that you find and some
• 44:15
  Speaker 1: objects they could be stones that aren't swallowable or whatever,
• 44:20
  Speaker 1: and you take turns putting things in the box, and
• 44:25
  Speaker 1: you call them frowns and you say what you're frowning about,
• 44:30
  Speaker 1: so you participate in this as well. So that part
• 44:34
  Speaker 1: of it is that the child feels that I'm a
• 44:36
  Speaker 1: human being. I'm like my mom and I'm you know,
• 44:40
  Speaker 1: if your husband, your exitent husband could do this too,
• 44:43
  Speaker 1: it would be wonderful for them to share this with him,
• 44:47
  Speaker 1: both the temperature towers and the frown box. So you
• 44:50
  Speaker 1: get to see you're a child, but you get to
• 44:52
  Speaker 1: see I'm not. There's nothing wrong with me that I
• 44:54
  Speaker 1: have these feelings. I have these feelings with so to
• 44:57
  Speaker 1: my mom and dad. Yeah, one of the most powerful
• 45:00
  Speaker 1: things that I've shared with the listeners here, Mom, that
• 45:02
  Speaker 1: you always said to me is um, you know and
• 45:06
  Speaker 1: I and I you said it to me as a child,
• 45:08
  Speaker 1: and I think of it now when I'm forty about
• 45:10
  Speaker 1: to turn forty six, which is you said I would
• 45:14
  Speaker 1: share with you something that was upsetting me and you go,
• 45:16
  Speaker 1: of course, that makes total sense. If you didn't feel
• 45:19
  Speaker 1: that way, there'd be something wrong with you that when
• 45:21
  Speaker 1: you're going through this X y Z experience, If you
• 45:24
  Speaker 1: didn't feel abc, there'd be something the matter with you
• 45:28
  Speaker 1: that well you have I found that you said since
• 45:32
  Speaker 1: you said that, Zach, we've started doing that. Yeah, well
• 45:34
  Speaker 1: that's all my mom. That's her, that's that's her specialty.
• 45:37
  Speaker 1: Another thing I wanted to say, Mom, that you gave
• 45:39
  Speaker 1: me that really helped me as a child. Um, there
• 45:42
  Speaker 1: were these worried dolls. I don't know if they were.
• 45:44
  Speaker 1: They a Mexican and they still sell them. Yeah, I'm
• 45:48
  Speaker 1: sure you might find them on Amazon, just on the
• 45:49
  Speaker 1: internet somewhere. I believe they're called Mexican worried dolls. And
• 45:53
  Speaker 1: their their their their minuscule, they're they're about a centimeter
• 45:56
  Speaker 1: high and then go in a little container. And what
• 45:58
  Speaker 1: you do, is my mom, as my mom taught me,
• 46:00
  Speaker 1: is for a worrying child. And I was a kid
• 46:02
  Speaker 1: who worried a lot. As you teach each you tell
• 46:05
  Speaker 1: each figure one of your worries, and you put them
• 46:09
  Speaker 1: in the little canister next to your bed, and while
• 46:12
  Speaker 1: you're sleeping, they work on your worries. So it's like
• 46:15
  Speaker 1: the child can have their anxiety relieved because like, don't worry.
• 46:19
  Speaker 1: These dolls are specifically meant to work. That's all they
• 46:22
  Speaker 1: do as they work on worries. And I remember being
• 46:24
  Speaker 1: a kid being like this is a big worry. So
• 46:26
  Speaker 1: I would like talk to them. I'm like, look, I'm
• 46:27
  Speaker 1: gonna need six of you guys on this worry. I
• 46:32
  Speaker 1: would I would totally like give them tasks and I'd
• 46:34
  Speaker 1: be like, look, I need everybody, but you you're gonna
• 46:36
  Speaker 1: you have a little small worry, but you guys are
• 46:38
  Speaker 1: all on this main worry. And I really believed it,
• 46:42
  Speaker 1: and um and took comfort in knowing that while I
• 46:46
  Speaker 1: was sleeping, they'd be attacking the worry. It was awesome.
• 46:49
  Speaker 1: They don't they don't take it away, but they work
• 46:51
  Speaker 1: on it. Yeah, they work for you, and I love
• 46:54
  Speaker 1: it for two reasons. In my household, Um, my boys
• 46:57
  Speaker 1: are I'm white and my husband's Mexican, so they would
• 47:01
  Speaker 1: it would be great for them. I'm always trying to incorporate,
• 47:03
  Speaker 1: you know, their culture, and that would be cool. But also,
• 47:08
  Speaker 1: sleeping is tough just for us in general. Kids with
• 47:10
  Speaker 1: autism are always up in the middle of the night
• 47:12
  Speaker 1: and we're still working on that. But if that could
• 47:15
  Speaker 1: be something that could help them stay in their own
• 47:17
  Speaker 1: bed and stay you know, not have to because I'm
• 47:20
  Speaker 1: a sandwich right now, I'll have both boys on either
• 47:23
  Speaker 1: side of me and they just roll right into me.
• 47:25
  Speaker 1: So I'm like trying to teach them to sleep in
• 47:27
  Speaker 1: their own beds and stuff, and that's a great idea.
• 47:30
  Speaker 1: I'm gonna look those up. Yeah, I got a lot.
• 47:32
  Speaker 1: It was. It was I was so lucky to have
• 47:34
  Speaker 1: a child psychologist mom, because she and people always joke
• 47:39
  Speaker 1: with me over the years like, oh, because my stepfather
• 47:41
  Speaker 1: was a psychologist and my stepmother's a therapist, and people
• 47:44
  Speaker 1: are like, oh, were they always all analyzing you? And
• 47:46
  Speaker 1: the truth is I didn't. I didn't feel that at all.
• 47:48
  Speaker 1: I felt like I was really well listened to. M
• 47:52
  Speaker 1: They understood the importance of listening to the child and
• 47:55
  Speaker 1: hearing what they have to say. And I always felt heard.
• 47:57
  Speaker 1: And so you want to men, and we're never like
• 48:01
  Speaker 1: in a room with a big mirror. Ever, what do
• 48:04
  Speaker 1: you mean, like you you never ever we're in like
• 48:08
  Speaker 1: a room you mean like a two way mirror where
• 48:12
  Speaker 1: they were Thank goodness now, no, right though, when you
• 48:19
  Speaker 1: say stuff like that, that's the first thing you go to.
• 48:22
  Speaker 1: It's like, wow, you had a lot of you had
• 48:24
  Speaker 1: a lot of therapy and your yes, yes. So my
• 48:28
  Speaker 1: father in his later years, my father in his later
• 48:30
  Speaker 1: years taught a marriage counseling course with my stepmother, so
• 48:34
  Speaker 1: then he got on the therapy therapy trained too, was
• 48:36
  Speaker 1: getting in from all sides. It's important. I mean, you
• 48:39
  Speaker 1: can tell when you listen to this podcast that Zach,
• 48:42
  Speaker 1: especially you have had a lot of words of wisdom
• 48:46
  Speaker 1: in your life because you have such empathy with everyone
• 48:49
  Speaker 1: that you talked to. And I just think that that's
• 48:52
  Speaker 1: one of the best parts about listening. I mean, I
• 48:53
  Speaker 1: love the show, I love everything about it, but I
• 48:56
  Speaker 1: will say, Anne, you raised a nice young man who
• 48:58
  Speaker 1: is very empathy setic to people and kind, and I
• 49:03
  Speaker 1: just think that it's so cool to listen and see
• 49:06
  Speaker 1: that your two favorite actors are really good people and
• 49:10
  Speaker 1: they're just fun talking to one another, and it's just
• 49:13
  Speaker 1: so much fun listening. You're very sweet, Chrissy. I heard
• 49:16
  Speaker 1: everything you just said. You just said Zach is empathetic,
• 49:19
  Speaker 1: and I'm not I heard you know, no, no, no,
• 49:22
  Speaker 1: I'm sure when when Chrissy's back on for your mom's show,
• 49:25
  Speaker 1: she'll say the same thing about it. I am good
• 49:28
  Speaker 1: with moms, so you know, I know you're just kidding.
• 49:31
  Speaker 1: I am. That means a lot to me, Chrissy. And yes,
• 49:35
  Speaker 1: not only did I have empathetic therapists in my life,
• 49:39
  Speaker 1: but I also was in therapy. We you know, there
• 49:42
  Speaker 1: was no stigma in my family about going to therapy
• 49:44
  Speaker 1: or seeking out new age things, whether it be books
• 49:47
  Speaker 1: or courses. It was a very the environment was very
• 49:51
  Speaker 1: open to working on yourself. You know. I know plenty
• 49:55
  Speaker 1: of people listening, I'm sure their families were the opposite.
• 49:57
  Speaker 1: There was something wrong with you if you were going
• 49:59
  Speaker 1: with therapists, or or there was something wrong with you
• 50:01
  Speaker 1: if you're reading a self help book or or had
• 50:04
  Speaker 1: interest in a workshop. So I'm very blessed that I
• 50:07
  Speaker 1: had a family that was like, do it all, read everything,
• 50:09
  Speaker 1: you know, take that wacky workshop where you're walking on
• 50:13
  Speaker 1: goals or whatever it is. That's it. It's very interesting
• 50:15
  Speaker 1: our parents kind of had the same type of not
• 50:19
  Speaker 1: the same upbringing, but had a lot of the same interests.
• 50:22
  Speaker 1: And so because of that, Zach and I have a
• 50:25
  Speaker 1: very similar upbringing where we took workshops and you know
• 50:30
  Speaker 1: what I mean, and therapy was wasn't looked at as
• 50:33
  Speaker 1: something bad. You know, um, it's it's it's it's really interesting.
• 50:37
  Speaker 1: It's really that I find that the most interesting about
• 50:40
  Speaker 1: our friendship. It's like we were destined to meet if
• 50:43
  Speaker 1: you ask me, because a lot of the things that
• 50:45
  Speaker 1: we went through as kids are just too similar, you know,
• 50:50
  Speaker 1: it's just we have well learn that we both would
• 50:52
  Speaker 1: sneak into the light. I told Donald mom on the
• 50:58
  Speaker 1: on the last show that I would other kids were
• 51:01
  Speaker 1: sneaking behind the school to smoke cigarettes. I would sneak
• 51:03
  Speaker 1: into the school auditorium to play with the ancient lighting board.
• 51:07
  Speaker 1: And Donald was like, I did too, but he did
• 51:12
  Speaker 1: it because he was in the A V. Club man.
• 51:15
  Speaker 1: I did it because I thought it was like, you know,
• 51:17
  Speaker 1: I was freaking uh flying turn turning everything into light speed? Right? Great? Um, well,
• 51:28
  Speaker 1: I hope that that was helpful, Chrissy. Um um. I
• 51:31
  Speaker 1: would say fix your life? Well, but I'm scared. No,
• 51:35
  Speaker 1: we don't want to. We we don't. This isn't fix
• 51:37
  Speaker 1: your life segment, but definitely, um, get a copy. Do
• 51:40
  Speaker 1: you want to fix your life? I actually had a
• 51:43
  Speaker 1: just a quick question about it, but I am interested
• 51:45
  Speaker 1: in the book too. Yeah, so get the book. Um,
• 51:46
  Speaker 1: the Falling Down Time. Your kids are obviously a little
• 51:49
  Speaker 1: young for it, but my clients kids will. But yeah,
• 51:51
  Speaker 1: you're a diversity divorsity, but this should be on your
• 51:53
  Speaker 1: coffee table in your office, for your for your for
• 51:56
  Speaker 1: your clients falling down to tell them where I found it,
• 51:59
  Speaker 1: and they'll just like what you are on that podcast.
• 52:02
  Speaker 1: You know what? You can put a post it note
• 52:05
  Speaker 1: on this on the coffee table in your in your
• 52:07
  Speaker 1: waiting room. That says Zach Braff's mom wrote this awesome book,
• 52:11
  Speaker 1: I Will The Falling Down Time, which is on Amazon.
• 52:13
  Speaker 1: Let's take a break. We'll be right back after these
• 52:16
  Speaker 1: fine words. Okay, Donald is giving you a fix your
• 52:25
  Speaker 1: life opportunity. I wasn't going to do it, but he's
• 52:27
  Speaker 1: the co host. Ladies and gentlemen, it's time for Illinois's
• 52:30
  Speaker 1: favorite segment. It's time to fix You're all right? Go ahead, Chrissy. Okay,
• 52:42
  Speaker 1: Well it's pretty simple. I am single, so I'm I'm
• 52:49
  Speaker 1: just kind of ready to start dating. I know it
• 52:52
  Speaker 1: sounds like you know people. Everyone does it at their
• 52:55
  Speaker 1: own pace, whenever the time is right. Right for me,
• 52:59
  Speaker 1: I'm feeling the time time is right. I am. And
• 53:02
  Speaker 1: I apologize to my ex if he's listening to this, sorry,
• 53:05
  Speaker 1: but he can date two, go for it whatever. I
• 53:12
  Speaker 1: have two awesome kids and they are young and well
• 53:18
  Speaker 1: obviously we're a package deal. But I want to get
• 53:21
  Speaker 1: to know someone for who they are. I want them
• 53:23
  Speaker 1: to get to know me for who I am. You know,
• 53:27
  Speaker 1: when is the right time to tell people about it?
• 53:30
  Speaker 1: What do I? How do I approach this subject? I mean,
• 53:34
  Speaker 1: I think Donald you would know, um what it's like
• 53:37
  Speaker 1: dating when you already have children and obviously finding someone
• 53:40
  Speaker 1: that you want to be a companion with and then
• 53:44
  Speaker 1: and then I am still open to having children some day.
• 53:47
  Speaker 1: M thirty two, so I have time and I would
• 53:51
  Speaker 1: love to start a life with someone in that way.
• 53:54
  Speaker 1: But also right now, I'm just looking to date two
• 53:57
  Speaker 1: right that. That's normal and you should and there's nothing
• 54:00
  Speaker 1: wrong with that. Have you started? The obvious question that
• 54:03
  Speaker 1: comes to mind is the apps? Have you tried? And
• 54:05
  Speaker 1: you don't have to go on the Tinder of course,
• 54:07
  Speaker 1: but like one of the more ones for relationships like
• 54:10
  Speaker 1: match and such? Have you have you done any of that? Yeah?
• 54:15
  Speaker 1: Funny enough, I met my husband on e harmony, so
• 54:18
  Speaker 1: that one's out. Yeah, it doesn't stuck, So I M
• 54:27
  Speaker 1: I did. Yeah, I looked at so many apps. I
• 54:30
  Speaker 1: got on I'm then I got off of that. I
• 54:32
  Speaker 1: got on to bed and I'm like, I've talked to people.
• 54:35
  Speaker 1: I will come on a couple dates. I just don't
• 54:38
  Speaker 1: want to like rope somebody in and then be like,
• 54:40
  Speaker 1: by the way, I have two kids. Well, I think
• 54:42
  Speaker 1: in your match profile, you in your match if I
• 54:44
  Speaker 1: was advising you as your dating advisor, I would not
• 54:47
  Speaker 1: I would have your beautiful children in somewhere in your
• 54:49
  Speaker 1: match profile, pictures of you happy with your kids, you know,
• 54:53
  Speaker 1: so you're never misleading anyone. I'm I'm a mom of two.
• 54:55
  Speaker 1: I mean, there's think how many people are out there
• 54:58
  Speaker 1: dating with children. The kind of man you're going to
• 55:00
  Speaker 1: be looking for is not someone who's going to be
• 55:02
  Speaker 1: afraid of that, obviously. Yeah, I was gonna say if
• 55:04
  Speaker 1: you're if you if you find somebody and you say
• 55:07
  Speaker 1: I have kids and that's a deal break up for them,
• 55:09
  Speaker 1: that wasn't the person for you anyway, right, So you
• 55:11
  Speaker 1: know it's it's it's I don't think. I don't think
• 55:15
  Speaker 1: there is a scenario where you don't automa where from
• 55:20
  Speaker 1: the gate you should be telling people I'm a single mother,
• 55:23
  Speaker 1: you know. Um, I think the more honest and open
• 55:26
  Speaker 1: you are, you'll attract the type of person you're looking for.
• 55:29
  Speaker 1: You know where. Uh so I wouldn't. I wouldn't worry
• 55:34
  Speaker 1: about I wouldn't worry about that. You'll also remove the
• 55:36
  Speaker 1: anxiety um right away that oh I'm gonna be misleading
• 55:40
  Speaker 1: and found out, like no, you're being right up front,
• 55:42
  Speaker 1: like don't don't come knocking if you're not interested in
• 55:45
  Speaker 1: they'll still come knock. And trust me, yeah they still
• 55:48
  Speaker 1: they'll still come knocking. Oh yeah, I've had a couple
• 55:50
  Speaker 1: of Yeah. But you might also, I mean, you know,
• 55:53
  Speaker 1: full disclosure, you might you might want some fun and
• 55:56
  Speaker 1: and just some fun dating. It might. It might you
• 55:58
  Speaker 1: might after being in a marriage going through this divorce
• 56:01
  Speaker 1: which doesn't sound which obviously is unpleasant, you know, give
• 56:05
  Speaker 1: yourself license to date and have fun and maybe not
• 56:09
  Speaker 1: necessarily go right for the guy who's maybe going to
• 56:12
  Speaker 1: be your next husband and stepfather to your kids. You
• 56:15
  Speaker 1: might want to have a little fun dating time with
• 56:18
  Speaker 1: people that aren't necessarily father material, but fun fun. At
• 56:24
  Speaker 1: the end of the day, you and if it does
• 56:26
  Speaker 1: get to the point where it does become that serious,
• 56:28
  Speaker 1: you could say, well, you know, I got into I
• 56:30
  Speaker 1: wasn't I was I'm a divorced parent, I wasn't really
• 56:33
  Speaker 1: looking for a relationship. Where we are now is where
• 56:36
  Speaker 1: we are, and so I'm opening up more to you.
• 56:39
  Speaker 1: But to be honest, I was just trying to get
• 56:42
  Speaker 1: out there and meet new people, to be honest with you,
• 56:44
  Speaker 1: and you just so happy it just so happened to
• 56:46
  Speaker 1: get serious with you. So if you want to keep
• 56:48
  Speaker 1: it light, it's all right to keep it light too.
• 56:51
  Speaker 1: It depends on what it is that you want to do.
• 56:53
  Speaker 1: As Zach just said, if you're looking for another relationship,
• 56:55
  Speaker 1: I would be as open as possible when you know,
• 57:01
  Speaker 1: letting everyone know who you are if that's what you want,
• 57:03
  Speaker 1: because I always feel if you're withholding anything, then you're
• 57:05
  Speaker 1: gonna always gonna have this anxiety in your head about
• 57:07
  Speaker 1: oh what if? What if he finds out? So don't
• 57:09
  Speaker 1: just let's just get rid of it right off the
• 57:11
  Speaker 1: bat by being open with it in your profile of
• 57:13
  Speaker 1: whatever dating site you're using. But if you're going out
• 57:16
  Speaker 1: to have fun, who cares, It's none of that business. Yeah,
• 57:19
  Speaker 1: you can have two profiles, my dating for a fun
• 57:21
  Speaker 1: ROMP profile with no kids, and then your relationship profile
• 57:25
  Speaker 1: with kids. Mom, what do you think of me? And
• 57:27
  Speaker 1: Donald's pop psychology? Are we doing a good job. You're terrific.
• 57:30
  Speaker 1: I wouldn't add anything. Oh, there you go. I never
• 57:33
  Speaker 1: in a million years thought I would get dating advice
• 57:36
  Speaker 1: from the Zach Breath. Well, we give great advice and
• 57:39
  Speaker 1: we were just PhD approved by my mom to give counseling.
• 57:43
  Speaker 1: So there you go, Joel. Joel's out on the dating market.
• 57:46
  Speaker 1: Do you have any tips for um? No, that sounded
• 57:49
  Speaker 1: really good to me. Just being honest and upfront and
• 57:52
  Speaker 1: you know, have fun. Dating should be fun. So Joel's
• 57:57
  Speaker 1: about to go on two dates in front of a
• 57:59
  Speaker 1: lot of people the live show. Christy, are you going
• 58:02
  Speaker 1: to join us for the live show? I got my ticket?
• 58:04
  Speaker 1: I'm mom? Are you joining us for the live show?
• 58:06
  Speaker 1: Do you even know about it? Absolutely? All right, Friday,
• 58:09
  Speaker 1: everyone listens. A mom doesn't know about the live show?
• 58:12
  Speaker 1: I get your mom on board. Donald, Now, mom, do
• 58:15
  Speaker 1: you do you still listen regularly? Be honest, it's okay
• 58:17
  Speaker 1: if you're not fully up to day, listen intermittently. Okay, Well,
• 58:20
  Speaker 1: I want to tell you something. When Donald and I
• 58:22
  Speaker 1: started this podcast, Chrissy, we made a joke saying a
• 58:25
  Speaker 1: handful of Scrubs fans to listen and maybe our moms
• 58:28
  Speaker 1: turns out both of our moms have checked out for
• 58:35
  Speaker 1: the long haul. It's become a global sensation. But our
• 58:40
  Speaker 1: mom's then know you well enough that this is not
• 58:45
  Speaker 1: exciting for them. But for us, it's like we're getting
• 58:47
  Speaker 1: to know you and like know who you are. It's
• 58:49
  Speaker 1: oh my gosh, it's fascinating. And I was just you know,
• 58:53
  Speaker 1: I'm such a diehard that everybody comes on here and
• 58:55
  Speaker 1: they say, oh, I didn't like season nine. I liked it.
• 59:00
  Speaker 1: Let me ask you a question, when's the last time
• 59:01
  Speaker 1: you watch season nine? Well? And how many times? And
• 59:05
  Speaker 1: how many times did you watch season? More importantly, Chrissy,
• 59:08
  Speaker 1: what are your feelings on the soundboard? You are you
• 59:10
  Speaker 1: pro sound no soundboard? You are no soundboard? Chris let
• 59:14
  Speaker 1: her answer no, ye, what are your thoughts on you
• 59:19
  Speaker 1: like it? Yes, a lot of people do. Casey, what
• 59:22
  Speaker 1: are your thoughts on the soundboard? Oh? Well that was me.
• 59:24
  Speaker 1: I was talking about the soundboard. You asked for it,
• 59:32
  Speaker 1: You asked for it. Where are you going you asked
• 59:34
  Speaker 1: for it? Oh? No, he has to go get mom.
• 59:37
  Speaker 1: This is a new thing. He likes to bring Casey
• 59:39
  Speaker 1: on the show multiple times. You know what it is.
• 59:42
  Speaker 1: He's so obsessed with his wife that he can't spend
• 59:45
  Speaker 1: an hour away from her, so we have to go
• 59:46
  Speaker 1: get her. I'm looking for I want to and she's
• 59:51
  Speaker 1: I know both women and both single women are like,
• 59:53
  Speaker 1: that's what I want. Where is he? Oh my god?
• 59:56
  Speaker 1: He's he literally, mom, he can't do an hour podcast.
• 59:59
  Speaker 1: I'm I want to get Casey saying stuff. And so
• 1:00:04
  Speaker 1: now he's using the soundboard. He got his mom and
• 1:00:08
  Speaker 1: a dollar on. He's saying some really mean things. Well,
• 1:00:11
  Speaker 1: I don't know. No, no, I assure you he is
• 1:00:15
  Speaker 1: not Casey. He's just he's being crazy. Yes, he is.
• 1:00:21
  Speaker 1: We know that he is. What I'm like, what is
• 1:00:23
  Speaker 1: the soundboard that? No, Casey, I recorded this. Listen, okay,
• 1:00:28
  Speaker 1: Zacha love you, Zacha love you, Zach, I love you,
• 1:00:31
  Speaker 1: and I sometimes play it when I feel I need
• 1:00:33
  Speaker 1: to hear hear your voice. Dude, do my show as
• 1:00:36
  Speaker 1: you should. Let her hear the Oh and here's Donald
• 1:00:39
  Speaker 1: wu tank forever. Here's Donald. Here's the other one, do
• 1:00:46
  Speaker 1: or do not? There is no try? Oh and here's
• 1:00:49
  Speaker 1: Donald's favorite sound Casey. Oh god, he come on, Casey,
• 1:00:58
  Speaker 1: with all due respect, we got to wrap the show up.
• 1:01:01
  Speaker 1: I'm not I'm not the one. I know your husband
• 1:01:03
  Speaker 1: who it is obsessed with you? How do you go
• 1:01:05
  Speaker 1: get you when it's in here? Now? My good love you? No, no,
• 1:01:15
  Speaker 1: I love that woman. I love that woman for the listeners.
• 1:01:17
  Speaker 1: I love that one. That was not that last one
• 1:01:20
  Speaker 1: was not the board listeners. That was her. Hey, Donald,
• 1:01:22
  Speaker 1: I gotta tell you while you're getting casey, and I mean,
• 1:01:25
  Speaker 1: I said to the audience, who and my mom would go, God,
• 1:01:27
  Speaker 1: this guy is so obsessed with his wife he can't
• 1:01:29
  Speaker 1: be without her for an hour. And both single women went,
• 1:01:32
  Speaker 1: that's what I want. I feel husband material. I want.
• 1:01:37
  Speaker 1: I want a relationship that's like Turk and Carla. You know,
• 1:01:42
  Speaker 1: they're just so real another they're so in love. But
• 1:01:45
  Speaker 1: then I also love how JD and Elliott. He says
• 1:01:49
  Speaker 1: at the end, Elliott, You're my dream woman. I love. Yeah. Well,
• 1:01:53
  Speaker 1: I mean for that to happen, you gotta be either
• 1:01:57
  Speaker 1: Turk or Carla, you know what. I relationships like that
• 1:02:00
  Speaker 1: or on television. The real relationships are gonna have ups
• 1:02:06
  Speaker 1: and down. Turkey call and never really had ups and downs. Man,
• 1:02:09
  Speaker 1: there they're ups and down. Was what what are we
• 1:02:12
  Speaker 1: gonna name? Is he? You know what I mean? Or
• 1:02:14
  Speaker 1: you know, like television relationships are meant to be just that,
• 1:02:19
  Speaker 1: to uplift you and to want you to experience love
• 1:02:24
  Speaker 1: like that. But you know what about I mean Bill Lawrence,
• 1:02:28
  Speaker 1: I would say to his credit, I would say, he
• 1:02:30
  Speaker 1: put in storylines about divorced people, and now he has
• 1:02:34
  Speaker 1: ted Lasso and and and I think those things are
• 1:02:37
  Speaker 1: important too, because when you're watching things, you kind of
• 1:02:40
  Speaker 1: want to see scenarios that play out that you you know,
• 1:02:43
  Speaker 1: what would you do in that situation or who's you know,
• 1:02:46
  Speaker 1: But on TV, it just seems like they always end
• 1:02:48
  Speaker 1: up you know, it always ends up the right way
• 1:02:51
  Speaker 1: on television. You know, that's the That's the only thing.
• 1:02:54
  Speaker 1: Like me personally, I wanted to I wanted movie. I
• 1:02:57
  Speaker 1: wanted to be in relationships like the movies I saw
• 1:03:01
  Speaker 1: like sixteen Candles and or The Breakfast Club and or
• 1:03:04
  Speaker 1: you know, those were ideal to me. And I tried
• 1:03:08
  Speaker 1: really hard over and over again to find that. And
• 1:03:12
  Speaker 1: I'm gonna tell you something right now, it's only in
• 1:03:14
  Speaker 1: the movies, man like. And then if I found something
• 1:03:17
  Speaker 1: that was close to it, I really didn't want it.
• 1:03:19
  Speaker 1: You know, all the movies don't always reflect how difficult
• 1:03:22
  Speaker 1: it is and how much work a healthy relationship takes.
• 1:03:26
  Speaker 1: It's a lot of work. So what you see me
• 1:03:28
  Speaker 1: and my wife do is. I mean, it's our stick
• 1:03:31
  Speaker 1: and we we've perfected it. But you know, I want
• 1:03:35
  Speaker 1: all the listeners out there to know that you get
• 1:03:37
  Speaker 1: the show. You know what I mean? Yeah, but you
• 1:03:40
  Speaker 1: are I will say this about you. Of course you're
• 1:03:42
  Speaker 1: a normal couple that go through your hard times in
• 1:03:45
  Speaker 1: your arguments, but I will say that you are a
• 1:03:48
  Speaker 1: very doting, loving husband. You give her a lot of love. Yeah.
• 1:03:54
  Speaker 1: Have you seen my wife? Yeah, she's a knockout. Yeah,
• 1:03:57
  Speaker 1: I'm saying, man, shake that. I don't appreciate it. We'll
• 1:04:03
  Speaker 1: get Florence on here going, don't I love you? Um?
• 1:04:07
  Speaker 1: All right, guys, Chrissy, thank you for coming on. We
• 1:04:10
  Speaker 1: really appreciate it. And good luck with your with all
• 1:04:13
  Speaker 1: that's going on in your life. Thank you so much. This,
• 1:04:16
  Speaker 1: like I said, it was a dream come true. And
• 1:04:19
  Speaker 1: good luck to you. I guess I'll see at the
• 1:04:20
  Speaker 1: live show. So excited. Listen if you if you can
• 1:04:24
  Speaker 1: get on the chat or if you want to shout
• 1:04:25
  Speaker 1: out Joel or something like that, do it. Maybe we'll
• 1:04:28
  Speaker 1: maybe we'll get you on a live show too. Well,
• 1:04:30
  Speaker 1: we don't know, we don't know. Oh my gosh, oh
• 1:04:33
  Speaker 1: all right, Christy, thank you, I love you, Bye guys,
• 1:04:36
  Speaker 1: bye bye hie. Here's the take care. Um. Well that's
• 1:04:39
  Speaker 1: our show, guys. Um um, don't forget to pick up
• 1:04:43
  Speaker 1: the falling downtime. If you're someone who's going through a
• 1:04:46
  Speaker 1: divorce and need to talk to your children, or if
• 1:04:48
  Speaker 1: someone in your life is going through that situation, it's
• 1:04:51
  Speaker 1: available on Amazon. And my mom's other book about adoption
• 1:04:56
  Speaker 1: if if you're have an adopted child as a beautiful,
• 1:04:59
  Speaker 1: beautiful book, um that that addresses the subject of the
• 1:05:03
  Speaker 1: birth mother to the child, and that's called The Mowbray Bird,
• 1:05:06
  Speaker 1: also available on Amazon. Mom, did you have fun? I
• 1:05:10
  Speaker 1: had a lot of fun. Thank you for giving you chance.
• 1:05:13
  Speaker 1: It was terrific. Well, I love you very much. I
• 1:05:17
  Speaker 1: love you too. The live show and I love you Donald,
• 1:05:20
  Speaker 1: um and everyone, so please join us. Our next show
• 1:05:23
  Speaker 1: is the live show. We'll be watching my quarantine, all
• 1:05:26
  Speaker 1: sorts of fun, all sorts of adventures. You'll be seeing
• 1:05:28
  Speaker 1: us with our new fancy webcams that that we bought,
• 1:05:31
  Speaker 1: and um, lots of guest appearances and fun and laughter. Right,
• 1:05:36
  Speaker 1: than Tank forever. All right, count us out, Donald six seven,
• 1:05:40
  Speaker 1: eight stories about show. We made a bunch of nurses stories. Yea,
• 1:06:00
  Speaker 1: I show which I know. Mm hmmm