Latest / The Father's Business Podcast / Power of Words: Embracing Justice, Kindness, and Humility in Divided Times

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Power of Words: Embracing Justice, Kindness, and Humility in Divided Times · The Father's Business Podcast

• 0:03
  Speaker 1: The Father's Business was founded by Sylvia Gunter to encourage people to a deeper relationship with God.
• 0:08
  Speaker 1: I'm Elizabeth Gunter Powell.
• 0:11
  Speaker 2: And I am Kimberly Roddy.
• 0:12
  Speaker 2: Welcome to the Father's Business Podcast.
• 0:14
  Speaker 2: We are so glad that you've joined us.
• 0:18
  Speaker 1: Welcome everyone to this week's podcast.
• 0:20
  Speaker 1: I'm Elizabeth and I'm so glad Kimberly's back with us this week after being off last time, and today we need you to understand we are recording this podcast on Election Day, so we don't know what has happened in the world by the time we released this podcast on Thursday.
• 0:38
  Speaker 1: But we want to take some time to talk about the power of words, because it seems especially relevant with the elections coming and the country feels more divided, I think, than it ever has been before, and we have a lot of different platforms, both in person and online, where we can express opinions to one another, and so we want to talk about the power of words and how do we respond to others, even when they think or vote differently than us.
• 1:12
  Speaker 1: But again, we have no idea the outcome of the election while we're recording this, so in no way, anything that you hear us say today are we endorsing one candidate or the other or making commentary about who won.
• 1:24
  Speaker 1: But I've spent some time thinking about what is my part or what is my role to play in the culture right now, and I just keep going back to Micah 6, 8, which may be a familiar verse to a lot of us, but I love the way that it is interpreted in the Amplified version.
• 1:42
  Speaker 1: It says he has told you, o man, what is good and what does the Lord require of you except to be just and to love, to diligently practice kindness, compassion, and to walk humbly with your God, setting aside any overblown sense of importance or self-righteousness.
• 2:04
  Speaker 1: And I think that is so much a part of the culture we're living in right now, kimberly, that a lot of us think that whatever our opinion is is the right opinion, and yet there's a lot of people that we love that may have the opposite opinion, and what I don't want to see happen to us is that, because of the politics going on in our world right now, we end up hurting our relationships.
• 2:30
  Speaker 2: Sure, I think most everyday people are carrying around something that they're sensitive to, that someone else disagrees with or feels differently about.
• 2:39
  Speaker 2: But I think it's heightened on a day like Election Day in the US, and I'm sure it's true in other countries when they have their elections going on.
• 2:46
  Speaker 2: When you look at Micah 6-8, we're called to do justice, we're called to love mercy and we're called to walk in humility all the time.
• 2:55
  Speaker 2: It doesn't matter if the tensions are low or the tensions are high.
• 2:59
  Speaker 2: We are told to walk out compassion.
• 3:03
  Speaker 2: I like the way you were reading that.
• 3:05
  Speaker 2: In the Amplified version it said to love, to diligently practice kindness or compassion and to walk humbly, and that walking humbly is that setting aside any overblown sense of importance or self-righteousness.
• 3:19
  Speaker 2: And it's true.
• 3:21
  Speaker 2: We live in a world where we can post our opinion with the tap of our fingers and we don't have to care how someone else responds to that, because we don't have to look in their face.
• 3:34
  Speaker 1: Right.
• 3:35
  Speaker 2: We don't have to look in their eyes, we don't have to see them as a human being in front of us.
• 3:40
  Speaker 1: Yeah, yeah.
• 3:41
  Speaker 2: And I think we forget that and I know a lot of people don't intend to do that.
• 3:45
  Speaker 2: Like you know, there's instances where people will post something online and another person may know that there's no ill intent there, but it still may feel sensitive to them based on their fears or their perspective, and someone else can look at that exact same post or comment and be encouraged by it or feel hopeful by it.
• 4:05
  Speaker 2: Right, it's an interesting thing.
• 4:07
  Speaker 2: I was reading earlier today online there was some I've seen this going around.
• 4:11
  Speaker 2: It was the Christian's Voter Guide.
• 4:13
  Speaker 2: This guy wrote 10 things to remember and I'm not going to read it all, but I thought it was interesting because he said your task is to bring the salt of Christian civility to an ugly and acrimonious political process.
• 4:26
  Speaker 2: And he said to dismember the body of Christ over politics is a grievous sin.
• 4:32
  Speaker 2: Exercise your liberty to vote your conscience and conviction, while also accepting that other Christians will do the same and will vote differently than you.
• 4:44
  Speaker 2: I can say I.
• 4:45
  Speaker 2: I can say I love the color green and you can say I don't love the color green, I hate the color green, you know, and, and we can move on.
• 4:51
  Speaker 2: But that's like politics and politics.
• 4:56
  Speaker 2: Underneath politics are our values, and that's that's what's under the waterline we always talk about.
• 5:02
  Speaker 2: When the Titanic hit the iceberg, it didn't see the iceberg right Theoretically, and so we hit these values with people all the time, and I think in a climate like this week, we really have to remember that our words matter.
• 5:17
  Speaker 2: There was a song years ago that I loved, called the Blessing, and it talked about with our words, we speak life or we speak death, and so we can either choose to create life, to build up someone, or to tear them down, and how we do that matters.
• 5:36
  Speaker 2: And so, in this age of social media and constant news being thrown at us which I heard a friend earlier today say they were going to watch the weather channel tonight because they just show puppies I don't know if that's true or not, Just saying you know whatever, but the social media and this news realm can feel like the loudest, most negative voices out there that garner our attention and honestly, if we're honest and believe what's out there, the algorithms reward that negativity.
• 6:10
  Speaker 1: Well, yeah, because they get the most comments right, so there's more interaction on them.
• 6:14
  Speaker 1: So let's push out more of that.
• 6:16
  Speaker 2: Yeah, Also, there's a lot of verses in scripture that talk about how we speak and our words.
• 6:21
  Speaker 2: Proverbs 18, 21 says the tongue has the power of life and death.
• 6:26
  Speaker 2: So I think today, I think we really have to talk about how do we choose to speak life when we're surrounded by this division, when we're surrounded by discord.
• 6:37
  Speaker 2: That's negative.
• 6:39
  Speaker 2: Very often it's not discourse, it's discord, Right?
• 6:44
  Speaker 1: it's talking to make sure you hear my point rather than having a conversation and trying to listen to anyone else.
• 6:49
  Speaker 1: And, kimberly, as you were talking, I was also just thinking about all the different verses that are written in 1 John, about loving one another and how they'll know that we're Christians by our love.
• 7:01
  Speaker 1: And just thinking about wouldn't it be so cool if, in the midst of all this climate, we, as believers, responded to one another, responded to people who don't agree with us, out of this humility, out of this love, that we practice this kindness, and the world would look up and go, huh, they're living in the same culture we are, and yet look at the way they respond to each.
• 7:24
  Speaker 1: And yet look at the way they respond to each other and look at the way they respond to me.
• 7:26
  Speaker 1: But sadly, a lot of those loud voices that get amplified in social media and in person, whatever we're saying, that we love God, and yet the way we are speaking to other people is not that loving kindness.
• 7:41
  Speaker 1: It's oftentimes judgment or criticism.
• 7:45
  Speaker 1: Or you know, you need to agree with me in order to be a true Christian, and so I think it has to start with our own hearts Before we can respond kindly to others.
• 7:56
  Speaker 1: We got to check ourselves, and that just reminds me of Psalm 19, 14.
• 8:00
  Speaker 1: Let the words of my mouth and the meditations of my heart be acceptable in your.
• 8:05
  Speaker 1: And so I think.
• 8:10
  Speaker 1: So often I'm real quick to want to give a response or a rebuttal when someone brings up something that I may or may not agree with, but it's just needing to make sure my own words and my own heart like deeper than words.
• 8:23
  Speaker 1: How's my heart doing?
• 8:26
  Speaker 1: How am I lining up with the truth of who God is, and am I grounded in this truth so that I don't get swept up in the frenzy?
• 8:34
  Speaker 1: Because it's real easy.
• 8:35
  Speaker 1: It's real easy when someone bows up against me, I want to bow up against them, right, and all of a sudden I find myself engaging in an argument that I don't really have that much skin in the game for to begin with.
• 8:46
  Speaker 1: But because an argument has started, I'm going to engage, and so it's about keeping my heart in tune with Him, and I think one of the best things I heard someone a pastor say about the election is you know, go to the booth, vote your values and then go home the night of the election and go to sleep and rest in the peace that, knowing that, regardless of what happens in the election, god is still sovereign and in charge and still on his throne, and you still have a relationship with Jesus that will not change, regardless of who's in office.
• 9:23
  Speaker 1: You still have a relationship with your church and the people around you and the believers that you surround yourself with.
• 9:29
  Speaker 1: And so, while, yes, this is significant and we do need to be mindful about the way we vote and what happens in our country, there are some basic foundational truths that are not going to be different the day after the election, and that is that God is God and we are not, and that Jesus is still our Savior, that he is still the source of our eternal life and we still have peace in Him, regardless of what type of storm we may find ourselves in.
• 9:59
  Speaker 2: Yeah, and I would add to that live out your values, like go and vote your values and go home and go to bed and remember that God is on the throne and then go home and live out your values.
• 10:07
  Speaker 2: Proverbs 15.1 says A gentle answer turns away wrath, but a harsh word stirs up anger.
• 10:12
  Speaker 2: How often in my day do I say I value giving a gentle answer and being kind and compassionate?
• 10:19
  Speaker 2: And how often in my day do I just snap and give harsh words and I'm not living out those values, I'm not living out the commands of Scripture.
• 10:28
  Speaker 2: I'm not living true to what I say yeah, it's good advice, right, go vote your values, but live them out.
• 10:36
  Speaker 2: Let's not just see this part of the divide that we have is just rhetoric that's not girded in a life.
• 10:45
  Speaker 2: And so let's, as believers, let's live out that faith right.
• 10:49
  Speaker 2: Let's live out that trust and faith that God is sovereign, that he's on the throne, and let's live out that faith right.
• 10:52
  Speaker 2: Let's live out that trust and faith that God is sovereign, that he's on the throne, and let's live out that faith of what it looks like to treat other people with kindness and justice and mercy.
• 11:04
  Speaker 2: It's hard for us to hold the tension between justice and mercy as humans and I think about like I just want to point to the gospels and say, look at how Jesus did it.
• 11:16
  Speaker 2: And then I'm like it's just so hard, like Jesus did it right, but there's so many times where we try to walk out that speaking truth with love or whatever, and then there's times where we just fail because we have fears, we have insecurities, we have our own bias, we have our own stories that come into play, our own beliefs and personalities, and everything comes into play there.
• 11:39
  Speaker 2: And we have to remember that acting justly, loving mercy, walking humbly, means letting go of that self-righteousness, letting go of wanting to win an argument or prove that I'm right.
• 11:55
  Speaker 2: I'll be the first to admit it alongside you, elizabeth, because we're two of a kind here and I say that as your friend of 20-something years.
• 12:03
  Speaker 2: We like to be right and we've learned to acquiesce to each other, but I don't know that we acquiesce to others very well and usually we acquiesce to each other when we're on the same page and we just know hey, I'm not.
• 12:18
  Speaker 2: It's not worth starting an argument or whatever.
• 12:20
  Speaker 2: But but what if I could treat others that way?
• 12:24
  Speaker 2: What if I didn't have to have to be right and I get it like in a in a political climate that is so divided, like in a political climate that is so divided.
• 12:33
  Speaker 2: It's a tough one.
• 12:34
  Speaker 2: It's so tough because we are having to live under rules that we agree or disagree with, and we feel like we're being forced into certain things that we agree or disagree with with legislation, and it's like but I don't like it.
• 12:48
  Speaker 2: I don't like it, yeah, like it's hard, but at the end of the day it's okay.
• 12:53
  Speaker 2: How do I stand up for what I believe in but still be a believer in living out who God has called me to be in relationship?
• 13:06
  Speaker 1: How do?
• 13:07
  Speaker 2: I be humankind with others right, yeah, yeah.
• 13:10
  Speaker 1: And I think that's going back to that whole posture of your heart of like.
• 13:13
  Speaker 1: What is the intent of your heart?
• 13:15
  Speaker 1: Is it to prove that you're right or is it to understand someone who may not agree with you?
• 13:23
  Speaker 1: And if I'm going into a conversation just to prove that I'm right, then it's not going to be filled with kindness and mercy and love.
• 13:31
  Speaker 1: It's going to be intellectual superiority.
• 13:34
  Speaker 1: And let me get my three points in to prove you wrong versus I just want to hear where you're coming from and make you feel heard and understood Doesn't mean I have to agree with you, but so that's easy for me to like say these platitudes Kimberly.
• 13:50
  Speaker 1: But let's get practical for a minute.
• 13:51
  Speaker 1: This is your wheelhouse.
• 13:53
  Speaker 1: You are a certified mediator, so you do a lot of times talking to people who have different viewpoints on the same thing.
• 14:02
  Speaker 1: So, as we're thinking about interacting within our own families, not everyone in the family may be on the same side politically, or in our workplace, our churches the same side politically, or in our workplace, our churches, or just out in the cultural in general.
• 14:15
  Speaker 1: Give us some insight as to how we can be that peacemaker.
• 14:20
  Speaker 1: How do you approach conversations?
• 14:24
  Speaker 2: I think one of the biggest things that we can do during, like right now, in the midst of the political tension, I think one of the biggest things we can do is sit down together and agree to not talk about certain things and again, like, if you need to talk about it with your spouse or your family, or however you need to do that, there's places to talk about it.
• 14:48
  Speaker 2: But, like, let's say that your whole family is gathering together, maybe there's kids in there, maybe there's grandparents in there.
• 14:55
  Speaker 2: You've got to think about the vast array of generations that can be involved in a family gathering.
• 15:01
  Speaker 2: There's a lot of room for tension in that If you've got a baby boomer, a millennial, a Gen Xer, a Gen Zer and the alpha generation coming up in the world right, there's a ton of differences there.
• 15:11
  Speaker 2: So, practically speaking, I think it's okay to say to your family or when you're gathering with friends or a small group at church or something just to go, you know what we love each other and we're in relationship with one another.
• 15:24
  Speaker 2: And I think right now we shouldn't have a corporate conversation about politics, because it's a way of protecting, it's a way of establishing a boundary, and a lot of us don't like boundaries.
• 15:37
  Speaker 2: But boundaries are good and I think you know, like someone said to me the other day, they didn't really like boundaries.
• 15:42
  Speaker 2: I was like, well, how do you feel about driving on a highway that doesn't have any boundaries, it doesn't have any speed limits, and they're like, well, that would make me a little bit nervous.
• 15:50
  Speaker 2: And I'm like, yeah, yeah, like, think about in a big city driving where there's no boundaries, getting a lane you want to.
• 15:59
  Speaker 2: You don't really have to drive in a lane, you don't have a, there's no speed limit, like that's chaotic, right.
• 16:01
  Speaker 2: And so I think that sometimes just setting a boundary that's just says for right now, corporately, we're not going to talk about it Doesn't mean that you're like squashing the conversation you don't do it out of, I'm not open to it, I'm not open to dialogue, but I think there's a time and a place and I'm thinking like sometimes people do this at like Thanksgiving, you know, like we're having people come together for Thanksgiving or Christmas that aren't with each other every day, and maybe we just we we tolerate some things, but I think we need to be careful to not let those things go South really fast.
• 16:30
  Speaker 2: And by doing that, we just say we know in our family system or in our small group or whatever, we've got a lot of different opinions, but we also know that we love each other and so today, tonight, as we're having dinner or getting together, we're going to.
• 16:44
  Speaker 2: Let's just agree to set those differences aside and enjoy being together.
• 16:48
  Speaker 2: So I think that's a practical thing that you can do in the midst of the tension, and if it starts to creep in, someone needs to be the designated, agreed upon person to go hey, we're starting to get off the rails.
• 17:01
  Speaker 2: And I know we love each time too is let's choose to respond rather than react.
• 17:05
  Speaker 2: I think of a reaction as being something that is wrought with emotion and feeling and kind of an exclamatory ah, frantic, you know, yeah whereas a response is a little more measured, thoughtful, and so it may take a minute to come up with your response, and that's okay.
• 17:39
  Speaker 2: But can you choose to catch yourself in a reaction?
• 17:44
  Speaker 2: Can you choose to catch yourself going hey, I'm about to react, or I'm feeling like I'm going to react, or I am reacting and pull that back and say I need to pull back from it.
• 17:55
  Speaker 2: I'd like to respond rather than to react, and sometimes that means not clicking the comment button real fast.
• 18:02
  Speaker 2: We're not.
• 18:07
  Speaker 2: I mean, we're talking about in-person relationships, which are most important, but we got to think about the online relationships too.
• 18:12
  Speaker 2: Like you can read something that lights a fire in your gut, um, and yeah, just because it does, that doesn't mean that you need to make a comment, and so how about we just pause and think about that?
• 18:26
  Speaker 2: And there's a lot of devil's advocates out there who like to stir up stuff online or even in person, and you know you want to be that person.
• 18:35
  Speaker 2: Go for it.
• 18:36
  Speaker 2: But if you call yourself a believer, I'd ask you to think about it in light of how Jesus calls us to live and the timing of that, the timing of that and the person on the other end of that.
• 18:47
  Speaker 2: To talk about your ideas and your thoughts, your beliefs, whatever they are, to talk about those things with someone who's like-minded.
• 18:57
  Speaker 2: You kind of feel free to go certain directions with it, right?
• 19:02
  Speaker 2: You feel comfortable saying certain things.
• 19:03
  Speaker 2: Feel free to go certain directions with it, right, you feel comfortable saying certain things, but can you be mindful of the people that may be around you that may not agree with everything you're saying, and can you be mindful that these are not just ideas in a vacuum, but these ideas always have consequences and there's always people on the other side of ideas.
• 19:21
  Speaker 2: So if we could consider again that our words hold power, if we can keep that in the front of our minds and connect, if we can connect that to how we live and how we talk about things, in the political climate or wherever we disagree with things, then I think that can affect and shift and change the way that you're interacting with others.
• 19:50
  Speaker 1: Yeah, kimberly, as you're talking about the power of words and you've already referenced the verse about the power of life and death being in the words.
• 19:57
  Speaker 1: It reminds me of just how much we talk about the power of blessing and blessing other people's spirits.
• 20:04
  Speaker 1: Speaking words of blessing to others and the culture of blessing that is a part of the Bible and it's a big part of what we teach through the Rock Journey experience is the power of speaking to another person and speaking blessing over them, and the word blessing itself means a good word, and so how thirsty are we all right now for a good word.
• 20:29
  Speaker 1: I think you can think of times where someone spoke something about you that they admired about you or thought was good about you, and how that made you feel and the blessing that that was to you.
• 20:39
  Speaker 1: And I was just reminded this week, just kind of a thought running through my head, thinking about the power of words as we were preparing for this podcast.
• 20:47
  Speaker 1: And I was just reminded this week, just kind of a thought running through my head, thinking about the power of words as we were preparing for this podcast.
• 20:51
  Speaker 1: And it's like you know, when God created the world, he could have done that a thousand different ways.
• 20:55
  Speaker 1: Right, he's God, he could do whatever he wants.
• 20:56
  Speaker 1: But it just really hit me that what God did is he spoke the world into existence, he used the power of his words to create, and he created things on each of the different days, and each of the different days he said good, and so, just even in the way the world was created, the power of words was a part of that.
• 21:15
  Speaker 1: So how much more so do we need to be mindful of the fact of the power of our words?
• 21:21
  Speaker 1: Because there's another great thing I know that you talk a lot about, kimberly is the intention of what you meant to say versus how it's received by the other person.
• 21:32
  Speaker 1: I think we cannot be mindful enough of the power of the words that we speak out to others, whether that be in person or online, and the impact they can have on the other person.
• 21:43
  Speaker 2: So we have layers to our relationships, whether they be a really close friend, a really close family member, our spouse, our dearest friend, our parents, our children, whatever it is.
• 21:54
  Speaker 2: But then we also have layers to our relationships with people online and we know how to jump.
• 22:00
  Speaker 2: We've learned in this world how to jump in and out of those relationships and how to jump in and out of when we show up, how.
• 22:07
  Speaker 2: But I think sometimes we get caught off guard pretty quickly with those that we're closest to, maybe our family members, our dearest friends or whatever.
• 22:15
  Speaker 2: Sometimes we assume that they really know us, so we kind of you know it's that old adage of we treat them poorly because we just assume they know the best of us, right, right, and we can't do that.
• 22:27
  Speaker 2: We can't do that.
• 22:29
  Speaker 2: It has an impact on the relationship, it has an impact on both humans.
• 22:33
  Speaker 2: And so sometimes we say something and I can look at you, elizabeth, and we can be in the car, car driving somewhere, and I can say, hey, what are you thinking about that?
• 22:44
  Speaker 2: And if, if you don't respond fast enough, and then I start saying, well, here's what I think about it.
• 22:48
  Speaker 2: And then you say, well, I, you know, I was thinking that and I'm like well, tell me what you're thinking.
• 22:53
  Speaker 2: And you're like well, I'm trying to tell you what I'm thinking, but if we're not careful, we start reading into the tones and into the like now, all of a sudden, you're feeling like you're a bad person, you're a bad friend, you're not speaking fast enough, or I'm like what's wrong with you because you're not talking fast enough?
• 23:14
  Speaker 2: Like it's just a silly example, but it happens so often in the day-to-day life that we do with people.
• 23:20
  Speaker 2: We hurt them by the impact of our tone and our attitude and our words, rather than addressing the intention of what was behind it.
• 23:30
  Speaker 2: And so I think it's in those moments where we need to take a timeout or we need to reset and we just have to say we have to be aware.
• 23:38
  Speaker 2: Here's a huge phrase be aware, like be aware of how you're showing up and being present in a conversation, whether it's a conversation over coffee, a conversation at dinner, a conversation that you and I are having on the podcast.
• 23:54
  Speaker 2: Like we're recording.
• 23:54
  Speaker 2: We know, hey, I can do a little bit of editing, but like I need to pay attention to what the other person is saying.
• 23:59
  Speaker 2: When you're in a class environment, you don't know if the teacher is going to call on you, you're like, oh, I need to pay attention, that when you're in a class environment you don't know if the teacher is going to call on you.
• 24:08
  Speaker 2: You're like, oh, I need to pay attention, that feeling you know that you're a member of being in school Like, how can you be?
• 24:11
  Speaker 2: How can we practice being more aware in our day-to-day interactions and conversations?
• 24:13
  Speaker 2: Because if we can practice being more aware, then we can pick up on and admit the tones or the attitudes or the biases that we're bringing to the conversation.
• 24:22
  Speaker 2: So when we get stuck in those moments, we need to be aware that sometimes we have an impact on another person regardless of our intention.
• 24:33
  Speaker 1: Mm-hmm.
• 24:34
  Speaker 2: And I need to be honest in my relationships enough to say the impact of what I just said or did or how I said it.
• 24:43
  Speaker 2: I recognize that that hurt you.
• 24:45
  Speaker 2: I recognize that that was offensive to you.
• 24:47
  Speaker 2: I recognize that that had whatever impact it had.
• 24:50
  Speaker 2: I recognize that that impacted you.
• 24:52
  Speaker 2: I'm sorry.
• 24:53
  Speaker 2: I'm sorry that I had that impact on you.
• 24:58
  Speaker 2: My intention was this, and don't get overly defensive about your intention State it, be honest.
• 25:07
  Speaker 2: But when you start dabbling into being overly offensive I this, I that, and I didn't mean I wasn't going to try to hurt you at all and like, oh, you're all upset, like stumbling over yourself, like no, it's.
• 25:19
  Speaker 2: Hey, you know what.
• 25:19
  Speaker 2: I recognize that I hurt you.
• 25:22
  Speaker 2: I didn't intend to hurt you, but I recognize I hurt you.
• 25:25
  Speaker 2: My intention was to have this type of conversation.
• 25:28
  Speaker 2: I recognize you're hurt, but when you're ready, do you think we can come back and have that conversation, like owning the impact, or, if you're on the receiving side of that, saying hey, can we pause for just a minute?
• 25:41
  Speaker 2: I'm feeling this because of what just happened.
• 25:45
  Speaker 2: Yeah, I don't know if you intended that or not, but I'm kind of off kilter and I don't know if I can continue in this conversation right now and being able to just say, hey, maybe this conversation did not mean to go that way at all, and maybe it's mundane and it's minor, but it affected someone and so let's just take a pause and let's come back to it, and the quicker we can do that, the better our relationships will be, because then we're not building that list of offenses.
• 26:12
  Speaker 1: Yeah and Kimberly, both of those things that you're talking about, whether it's the one who needs to apologize because that was not their intent, or the one that needs to kind of put their hand up and say, hey, wait a minute, can we take a break here?
• 26:23
  Speaker 1: Both of those require a large amount of humility to be able to do that, because either I'm admitting that I'm wrong or I'm admitting, hey, I'm at a point of weakness right now and I need us to kind of take a break or change direction, or I just need to be honest about how you're impacting me, and so I think that just goes back to this whole idea of loving justice and mercy and walking humbly with our God and with each other and just how desperately we need humility, and I just feel like that's the opposite of what everything in our culture is screaming right now.
• 26:56
  Speaker 1: I don't see a lot of humility out of either side right now and I just keep thinking about Jesus and how he did walk on this earth.
• 27:06
  Speaker 1: And you know, you referenced like how would Jesus do it?
• 27:08
  Speaker 1: Well, we can't do it the way he did it, because he was God at the same time.
• 27:11
  Speaker 1: He did have a little bit of an advantage over us in that he had that perfect connection with the Father.
• 27:16
  Speaker 1: But so often Jesus didn't tell people what he thought.
• 27:21
  Speaker 1: He asked questions and he listened, and he sat with people who didn't look like him, didn't believe like him.
• 27:31
  Speaker 1: The Pharisees were all angry at him because he hung out with prostitutes and tax collectors and his disciples were fishermen and just not the holy men of the day, and I think that's such a beautiful picture of humility on his part.
• 27:49
  Speaker 1: But also just this desire that we need to as it says in James 1.9, to be quick to listen, slow to speak and slow to become angry.
• 27:59
  Speaker 1: Just this curiosity about the person that you're interacting with of, okay, what happened in their story that causes them to have the beliefs that they have.
• 28:10
  Speaker 1: Because it's real easy for you to tell me your opinion on something, for me to go, well, that's dumb, that's stupid.
• 28:18
  Speaker 1: But if I start to learn your story and go, oh, okay, this is how you were hurt, this is how even the church hurt you, or this is how you know these are the things that have happened in your story, well, now it makes a whole lot more sense why you believe what you believe and why those are the values that you have.
• 28:37
  Speaker 1: But so much easier, as you say, kimberly, to hit that respond comment like, dislike, whatever it is, and to just start spewing out what we think, rather than taking time to understand the other person.
• 28:51
  Speaker 1: Because as much as I want to be understood and for you to understand the intent of where all of my values come from, I need to show that same respect to others, but it's not easy.
• 29:05
  Speaker 2: Yeah, it's being curious in the conflict, being curious in the moment, curious in the tension.
• 29:10
  Speaker 2: A friend quoted me one time when I was speaking.
• 29:14
  Speaker 2: My friend Emily was listening outside the room as I was speaking to a group of young moms and she the next day wrote on Facebook my friend Kimberly and she put, quote be curious in your conflict.
• 29:25
  Speaker 2: And I was like that's, that's a really great phrase there.
• 29:28
  Speaker 2: I didn't know, I said that but it's like just heard, that's actually what happened.
• 29:34
  Speaker 2: And I was like Emily is that?
• 29:36
  Speaker 2: She said.
• 29:37
  Speaker 2: You said that.
• 29:37
  Speaker 2: I was like that's really good.
• 29:39
  Speaker 2: I'm sure other people have said it, I'm sure other people have said it, but it was a moment that really helped me remember that phrase.
• 29:44
  Speaker 2: Let's be curious in our conflict, because if we're not choosing to listen to someone else's story, then we're not choosing to understand them.
• 29:52
  Speaker 2: And, like you said, it's about asking questions rather than seeking to be understood all the time, rather than seeking to have my needs met.
• 30:02
  Speaker 2: And I think that that also means asking God to give us discernment and wisdom, because listening is not easy and discerning takes practice and being able to just go.
• 30:20
  Speaker 2: Okay, I'm going to discern in this moment and really ask myself do I need to speak up about this?
• 30:26
  Speaker 2: Do I need to respond?
• 30:27
  Speaker 2: Because here's the truth Sometimes just a simple gracious response or even a peaceful silence can speak louder than arguing.
• 30:39
  Speaker 1: Yeah.
• 30:41
  Speaker 2: And if we're not listening and discerning and being present in the moment, we don't know to do that.
• 30:48
  Speaker 2: But I can think of many times in my life where I have seen, I've been in a moment where someone just pausing shifted the atmosphere.
• 31:00
  Speaker 1: Yeah.
• 31:02
  Speaker 2: So that's one way to do.
• 31:04
  Speaker 2: It is just to be present, but I think also to go back to something you were talking about earlier, if we're aware of that and trying to listen and be discerning and be wise and be present, I think the other thing that we can do that we talk a lot about on here is we could actually speak blessing.
• 31:21
  Speaker 2: So what does that look like, elizabeth?
• 31:25
  Speaker 1: Yeah, I mean, as we said, the word blessing, literally translated, is to speak a good word, and I think of Proverbs 16, 24, that says gracious words are a honeycomb, sweet to the soul and healing to the bones.
• 31:38
  Speaker 1: So how can I use our words?
• 31:40
  Speaker 1: How can we use our words to bring healing, to bring goodness, to bring hope, to bring reconciliation?
• 31:49
  Speaker 1: So what would it look like if, every time I wanted to criticize something, I stopped and looked for what is there to bless in this situation?
• 31:58
  Speaker 1: Instead, why I'm so passionate about everything that we teach at our Ruach Journey conferences, and also the study that you can get on our website, is it's this discipline of speaking blessing over ourselves and over others, and it doesn't mean we ignore the truth, but it's about bringing forth life.
• 32:18
  Speaker 1: It's about speaking words of life to everyone we come in contact with, because everyone is made in the image of God, and so, as much as I may disagree with you and your views on things, there is value in you because God created you.
• 32:36
  Speaker 1: So therefore, I can find something that I can speak words of blessing and life to.
• 32:42
  Speaker 1: I love Proverbs 15.4 as well.
• 32:44
  Speaker 1: It says a gentle tongue is a tree of life, and so what if in every conversation, we had an opportunity to just plant these seeds of trees of life around us and, yeah, in our families and in our relationships at work and other places.
• 33:00
  Speaker 1: But even when I go to the store, like I don't know many people that are really having a great day when they're on their eighth hour of being at a cash register, and so how can I be just for a moment, say just a tree of life to that person?
• 33:17
  Speaker 1: And it doesn't even have to be super spiritual, sometimes it's just interacting with them and asking them how their day is going.
• 33:24
  Speaker 1: I often will just ask them I'm like, okay, so you at the beginning of your shifts or are you at the end of your shifts?
• 33:29
  Speaker 1: Because that's a very safe question to ask.
• 33:31
  Speaker 1: I'm not asking personal information about them and it gets some talking, but it at least makes them say I see you, I recognize you and I appreciate the fact that you are doing your job and you're here to help me and working hard.
• 33:46
  Speaker 1: And so how do we go through our day and our lives and our conversations planting those seeds of life with our words, because there's so much power in our words and we, we've all been the recipient of it and sadly I've also been the one that's crushed other people with my words and I hate that.
• 34:07
  Speaker 1: I've done that.
• 34:08
  Speaker 1: But as much as I can, how can I be on the positive side of that, of speaking blessing over those and being a part of the healing?
• 34:17
  Speaker 1: Maybe someone else has spoken something horrible to that person that day and I could come along and be the one who speaks healing in that same person's life on the same day.
• 34:27
  Speaker 2: Yeah, so I think the challenge there is that we become intentional with our words.
• 34:31
  Speaker 1: Yeah.
• 34:31
  Speaker 2: So that we know when we're about to tear someone down or when we're about to build them up.
• 34:35
  Speaker 2: Right so that we can choose, with intentionality, to bless someone.
• 34:40
  Speaker 1: Yeah.
• 34:41
  Speaker 2: Or to encourage.
• 34:43
  Speaker 2: I mean Ephesians 4 talks about that.
• 34:46
  Speaker 2: Don't let any unwholesome talk come out of your mouth, but only what is helpful or edifying for building others up, that it may benefit those who listen right, like other people are listening too, not just the person you're talking to.
• 34:56
  Speaker 2: So I think that would be.
• 34:58
  Speaker 2: The key is to just be intentional with our words, to know how to you use the word.
• 35:08
  Speaker 2: You know you use the word earlier, elizabeth peacemaker, and sometimes people think that they're wanting to make peace but they're actually avoiding the conflict, and I think what we really have to think about is am I choosing with my words in this moment to build peace or am I breaking down peace?
• 35:27
  Speaker 2: Am I making peace or am I breaking peace?
• 35:32
  Speaker 2: Am I causing chaos?
• 35:34
  Speaker 2: Am I about to call?
• 35:36
  Speaker 2: Am I going to say something that's going to cause chaos, or am I going to speak peace and life?
• 35:40
  Speaker 2: Or maybe I just shouldn't speak at all.
• 35:43
  Speaker 2: Right, that is an option.
• 35:45
  Speaker 1: That is an option that is always an option For those who may not be familiar with the idea of blessing or speaking a blessing over someone.
• 35:52
  Speaker 1: We have several resources on our website Daily Spirit Blessings you are blessed in the names of God.
• 35:58
  Speaker 1: Blessings for life.
• 35:59
  Speaker 1: We also in our devotional archives online there's several devotionals that are blessings that you can use to kind of be training wheels for you to start to learn how do you speak blessing over the life of someone else and then, as you do that more and more, it'll just become a natural part of your routine in your day to find ways where you can plant those seeds of life in other people's worlds as you go throughout your day.
• 36:24
  Speaker 2: So, elizabeth, let's pray for ourselves and for our friends who are listening today.
• 36:27
  Speaker 2: Let's just take a minute and pray for all of us that we can be aware of our words and our hearts, especially during this election season in the US.
• 36:36
  Speaker 2: Lord, we thank you for this time and for our conversation today, and for the reminder that our words hold power.
• 36:46
  Speaker 2: Lord, help us to be people who speak life and who speak grace and mercy and humility, especially in times of disagreement.
• 36:58
  Speaker 2: Give us ears to listen, give us hearts to love, give us the wisdom to know when to speak and when to stay silent.
• 37:08
  Speaker 2: May our words bring healing and hope.
• 37:13
  Speaker 2: May they point others to you, jesus.
• 37:16
  Speaker 2: In Jesus' name, amen.
• 37:20
  Speaker 1: I want to thank you for listening to the Father's Business Podcast.
• 37:23
  Speaker 1: I want to thank you for listening to the Father's Business Podcast.
• 37:26
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• 37:31
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• 37:38
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