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Have Fun And Get A Spotter · Fierce Encouragement

• 0:01
  SPEAKER_00: Hey there.
• 0:02
  SPEAKER_00: This is Mark.
• 0:03
  SPEAKER_00: This is the podcast called Fierce Encouragement.
• 0:06
  SPEAKER_00: Thank you for being here.
• 0:08
  SPEAKER_00: Quickly, if you're a brand new listener, this is a podcast built around my own struggles with self-image and kind of that sour self-talk.
• 0:19
  SPEAKER_00: And this really is to share tools and methods and stories from my own journey, helping others have more self-confidence and celebrate themselves, but also in my own journey to celebrate myself.
• 0:34
  SPEAKER_00: It's always a work in progress, but these are ways you can actually step toward that better part of yourself, that better version of yourself actively.
• 0:42
  SPEAKER_00: So thank you for being here.
• 0:45
  SPEAKER_00: Today I wanted to talk about well, it's this idea of a really plugged-in high achiever, somebody who's a go-getter.
• 0:54
  SPEAKER_00: And they've had a lot of success in life.
• 0:59
  SPEAKER_00: But the problem is they've gotten to a place where they think more reps and more hard work, more grind and more hours is the way to continue to get ahead.
• 1:12
  SPEAKER_00: So I'm actually looking back at the last week, I've had coaching strength training in the gym.
• 1:19
  SPEAKER_00: And just to bring a little story in from there, we have our testing week or our max week coming up.
• 1:26
  SPEAKER_00: But this week before, we actually aren't doing more.
• 1:30
  SPEAKER_00: We're still lifting pretty heavy, but we're not doing more.
• 1:34
  SPEAKER_00: We're doing less, but much heavier than we expect.
• 1:38
  SPEAKER_00: And it turns out, I think this contains the whole lesson.
• 1:42
  SPEAKER_00: We're calling them heavy singles.
• 1:44
  SPEAKER_00: And the thing is, is we're training our nervous system to be ready for the heavy weight.
• 1:50
  SPEAKER_00: So, in a sense, I don't think the answer is always more reps when we're high achievers.
• 1:58
  SPEAKER_00: So, I guess where am I arriving, kind of thinking about this?
• 2:02
  SPEAKER_00: I feel strong, but tired in my own energy.
• 2:06
  SPEAKER_00: The heavy singles this week at the gym where I coach at have been fun because it's kind of like going into Max week.
• 2:14
  SPEAKER_00: It's also fun to hear what people are saying and how they're approaching the testing week.
• 2:20
  SPEAKER_00: It used to be, I remember when I first joined the gym three years ago or so, when that testing week came up, I would feel anxiety.
• 2:28
  SPEAKER_00: I would actually look at the app and the numbers and just kind of have those uh horrible pictures in my mind, like failing on my squat and having the bar, you know, throw me to the ground or something.
• 2:41
  SPEAKER_00: It's interesting because it's what I coach on, but it's what we all kind of endure when we get under something heavy, whether it's in life or if it's a barbell, or if we're kind of pushing our system, maybe with exercise or being with the family for a long vacation.
• 2:58
  SPEAKER_00: So this is what my coach teaches at the gym.
• 3:01
  SPEAKER_00: You know, we work on overtaxing our physical system, our strength system, without trying to do the full movement or go all the way up to max capacity.
• 3:12
  SPEAKER_00: And by overtaxing the system in small bits, heavy but doable, that's the way we get stronger.
• 3:19
  SPEAKER_00: We max out after that and we go heavy.
• 3:23
  SPEAKER_00: But just like in life, sometimes it doesn't happen all at once, right?
• 3:28
  SPEAKER_00: We have to, in a sense, do our heavy singles.
• 3:32
  SPEAKER_00: We have to have that upper limit, but then train our recovery.
• 3:38
  SPEAKER_00: Again, this is the things that we encounter in our own life, whether they be in our relationships or challenges at work.
• 3:48
  SPEAKER_00: Sometimes it doesn't take three hours to train for something that we can learn in two minutes.
• 3:55
  SPEAKER_00: And I'm thinking of what we call walkouts.
• 3:58
  SPEAKER_00: We will overload the bar and just ask the person to walk out just with that heavier weight to let the nervous system feel it.
• 4:05
  SPEAKER_00: You don't do the lift, but when you put that heavy weight back, that 110% back on the bar and do your next lift, it's interesting how your nervous system responds.
• 4:16
  SPEAKER_00: And everybody's different.
• 4:17
  SPEAKER_00: But I think the this is kind of like the metaphor.
• 4:20
  SPEAKER_00: What is your heavy walkout in life?
• 4:24
  SPEAKER_00: Seriously, what is your heavy walkout?
• 4:26
  SPEAKER_00: What can you tune your nervous system to without actually doing the big lift?
• 4:31
  SPEAKER_00: Maybe it is reconnecting with an old friend that you had a falling out with or something.
• 4:37
  SPEAKER_00: Maybe it is just one minute on a short email you need to get sent.
• 4:42
  SPEAKER_00: Maybe it's an apology, a small apology that feels heavy.
• 4:47
  SPEAKER_00: Maybe it's just letting someone else know that you thought of them, where that is not a usual habit.
• 4:53
  SPEAKER_00: Or maybe it's even putting the phone away and listening deeply to your kid without needing to respond, holding that space.
• 5:04
  SPEAKER_00: One of my favorite books that kind of runs into my meditation practice and I've studied a couple times is a great book called The Way of the Bodhisattva by Shanti Deva.
• 5:18
  SPEAKER_00: It's an ancient book, but there's a great chapter in the book on patience.
• 5:24
  SPEAKER_00: And one of the big takeaways for me in that chapter is this idea that we train with the small things, the small agitations, the small difficulties, noticing when we get angry or frustrated.
• 5:41
  SPEAKER_00: And when we train with those small things, the big events will become easier to work with.
• 5:49
  SPEAKER_00: So the way we trade with train with small things is how we train when the big events happen.
• 5:56
  SPEAKER_00: And maybe, in a sense, a small thing, but a heavy thing is just getting used to the feeling of being agitated or frustrated or sad and down and out.
• 6:08
  SPEAKER_00: That way, when we familiarize ourselves with it, when we become aware of it, instead of slipping into it and sliding down with that momentum with a hard reaction or overdoing it or completely losing our footing, we start to feel more stable.
• 6:26
  SPEAKER_00: Just like we would with a walkout, with putting 110% on the bar and just walking out with it and feeling it.
• 6:33
  SPEAKER_00: It's also the same with our heavy single reps.
• 6:37
  SPEAKER_00: 80 to 90% really wakes up our nervous system.
• 6:41
  SPEAKER_00: Going, you know, 80 to 90% and training in that zone with single actions, this helps us be ready for when those big events come.
• 6:52
  SPEAKER_00: Again, whether they be at work, at home, or in our own personal projects.
• 7:01
  SPEAKER_00: Slowing down and even thinking here, I'm thinking about my own fear of being a creator, recording these things, of reaching out to you, of trying to write, of actually writing.
• 7:13
  SPEAKER_00: Creating is really hard and fun at the same time for me.
• 7:18
  SPEAKER_00: Like they both go with each other.
• 7:21
  SPEAKER_00: And I call it my creator's fear.
• 7:24
  SPEAKER_00: And I think there's something even past the self-awareness because I can feel that awareness of being fearful when I step forward to create or when I sit down to write, or when I'm kind of staring at the blank page.
• 7:38
  SPEAKER_00: I don't think it's the fear that makes it worthy of attention, but it's the the fun and the attitude and the fearlessness you can have when you approach something you want to get better at.
• 7:58
  SPEAKER_00: I think fear, if you use it in that sense, it can also activate or create a will of its own and push us into momentum.
• 8:09
  SPEAKER_00: I guess I distinguish fear from pain in my own experience.
• 8:14
  SPEAKER_00: Pain almost seems easier than fear for me.
• 8:19
  SPEAKER_00: I'm thinking of the gym again.
• 8:21
  SPEAKER_00: The fear of the weight is much less than the fear of me sitting down with a blank page.
• 8:28
  SPEAKER_00: But we have to all tap into our own creator sphere, right?
• 8:31
  SPEAKER_00: What is your fear in creating and sharing?
• 8:36
  SPEAKER_00: How are you holding back where if you would step out and take little steps every day, where would you be in a year or two if you stepped towards your own creator sphere and managed to make 1% gains on it every month?
• 8:55
  SPEAKER_00: I'm reminded of this story about a songwriter, and you know, these one-hip wonders that you'll hear about if you like music, they might have a one-hip wonder, and that's the song that everybody knows when they go to shows.
• 9:10
  SPEAKER_00: So they end up playing this one single song their whole career.
• 9:15
  SPEAKER_00: In some ways, it's kind of a beautiful curse.
• 9:18
  SPEAKER_00: That song, that moment of creation might have paid tons of bills.
• 9:23
  SPEAKER_00: But on the other side of it, after playing it the thousandth or millionth time, I'm thinking of like Jesse's girl from Springfield, uh Springfield, Rick Springfield.
• 9:36
  SPEAKER_00: But yeah, it when we look at how we create, and we might be thinking of how we create, and it might lock us in.
• 9:48
  SPEAKER_00: I guess maybe that's just something as I talk out loud here.
• 9:52
  SPEAKER_00: There's a fear in me that you'll get locked in to whatever you're talking about.
• 9:56
  SPEAKER_00: Like somebody will consider you an expert when I don't feel like that at all.
• 10:03
  SPEAKER_00: But here's the flip or the opposite side of it.
• 10:06
  SPEAKER_00: Whatever you're resisting, that project, the job search, that hard conversation, look at it the old way and it stays the same.
• 10:17
  SPEAKER_00: If we have that same mindset around it, it won't move.
• 10:21
  SPEAKER_00: But when we change the way we look at it, that asks a new potential to come forth from that problem.
• 10:31
  SPEAKER_00: I think it was Dr.
• 10:32
  SPEAKER_00: Wayne Dyer that said that change the way we look at things and the things we look at change.
• 10:40
  SPEAKER_00: I'm also reminded of one of my favorite books in and around mindset and kind of attitude and things around fierce encouragement, is to remember from her book, Carol Dwyck and Mindset, to remember that our ability is not fixed.
• 10:56
  SPEAKER_00: In fact, our ability grows and changes and evolves with the effort that we put in.
• 11:02
  SPEAKER_00: It's easy to get fixated on feeling like we're set, or this always happens to us, that language we can have around our attempts.
• 11:13
  SPEAKER_00: But if we remember the idea of growth mindset versus the fixed mindset, this is kind of the same thing that we're actually teaching when we put heavy weight on our barbell, when we do our walkouts, when we do heavy singles.
• 11:28
  SPEAKER_00: We're teaching the body to be okay with heavy things.
• 11:33
  SPEAKER_00: And of course, watching our form and getting help when we need it.
• 11:39
  SPEAKER_00: So this week, as I record this, we're going into our testing week.
• 11:44
  SPEAKER_00: And I feel good, the body feels good.
• 11:46
  SPEAKER_00: We had a couple classes this morning.
• 11:48
  SPEAKER_00: And my coach there, she shared her advice going into this.
• 11:53
  SPEAKER_00: And her main thing, I think, when the question was asked, like, what should we do going into test week?
• 11:58
  SPEAKER_00: She just said simply this: have fun and get a spotter.
• 12:03
  SPEAKER_00: And that's really it.
• 12:04
  SPEAKER_00: Where can we invite that into our own life?
• 12:07
  SPEAKER_00: Whether it's that project we have at work, whether it's the relationship, or maybe we're just training ourselves and encouraging ourselves.
• 12:15
  SPEAKER_00: Where can you slow down, have fun, trust the training you put in, fiercely encourage yourself and get a little support where you actually might crave some play at work.
• 12:27
  SPEAKER_00: We can be serious when we need to be, but there's also a sense of trust and playfulness that needs to come into any project we take on.
• 12:34
  SPEAKER_00: Where can we be gentle with ourselves, but fiercely encourage ourselves?
• 12:40
  SPEAKER_00: So the tool to practice this week is just that mindset flip with that one breath.
• 12:46
  SPEAKER_00: Seriously, take less than 15 seconds with one minute of breathing, shift from closed down to open.
• 12:54
  SPEAKER_00: Ask yourself, what potential does this problem hold for me?
• 12:59
  SPEAKER_00: As you breathe, notice the worst problem right now and ask what potential that problem holds.
• 13:06
  SPEAKER_00: And then the final moment or the final thing you can put into play is saying to yourself, does this thinking help me or hurt me right now?
• 13:18
  SPEAKER_00: If it hurts, drop it.
• 13:20
  SPEAKER_00: And then pick a more open mindset or frame.
• 13:25
  SPEAKER_00: And listen, no matter where you're at, if you're working out, if you're exercising, if you're just committed to being more present with the family or getting that job, getting a resume out or getting an advancement in your career, I think all those things can teach us what is important by slowing down and raising our awareness around it.
• 13:46
  SPEAKER_00: We load one hard thing on purpose and do those heavy singles and those walkouts because we get stronger each time we do it and we learn about ourselves because we become more aware of ourselves.
• 13:58
  SPEAKER_00: And this is what I teach in the Pause Advantage every few times a year.
• 14:03
  SPEAKER_00: So it's training the mind and the awareness.
• 14:05
  SPEAKER_00: Check out the Pause Advantage link in the show notes.
• 14:08
  SPEAKER_00: Otherwise, thank you for listening to Fierce Encouragement.
• 14:10
  SPEAKER_00: I hope you have a great day, a great evening, wherever you're at, and keep training yourself with Fierce Encouragement.
• 14:16
  SPEAKER_00: It is worth it.
• 14:17
  SPEAKER_00: Okay, take care now.
• 14:18
  SPEAKER_00: Bye bye.