Latest / It's Mom O'Clock / EPISODE 19: "When You Catfish Your Own Daughter"

Transcript

EPISODE 19: "When You Catfish Your Own Daughter" · It's Mom O'Clock

• 0:01
  Speaker A: Hello.
• 0:02
  Speaker B: You guys, stop. Is it Mama clock yet? I'm going crazy.
• 0:07
  Speaker A: Heck yeah. It's mama clock somewhere. Okay, we just did a test run and it up everything up, everything up.
• 0:37
  Speaker B: But here. We're back. We're back.
• 0:39
  Speaker A: We're better than.
• 0:39
  Speaker B: Better than ever.
• 0:40
  Speaker A: And then just let you know. I asked Emily what time it was like because we were starting the episode. She was supposed to say, it's mom o'. Clock. And she goes, 1258. Are you an idiot or no? I can't. You.
• 0:50
  Speaker B: But seriously, it's Mama clock. I feel so good this week.
• 0:55
  Speaker A: That's crazy of you because I don't.
• 0:57
  Speaker B: I like when we flip flop.
• 0:59
  Speaker A: I know you love when we flip flop.
• 1:00
  Speaker B: Yeah, I mean, I like when I feel good and you feel bad.
• 1:03
  Speaker A: You love when I feel bad?
• 1:04
  Speaker B: No, I actually don't. I'm feeling for you. I have to hear this whole story again. I feel bad for me.
• 1:11
  Speaker A: So I started telling the story. And then our Internet went out and then we lost connection and we had to. We have to start recording over. And now I have to retell my story that Emily kind already heard five times today. But great weeks. First week of school's over. You're like back to just like being solo parenting. Love that for you. Okay, But I had a shitty week.
• 1:28
  Speaker B: Did you?
• 1:29
  Speaker A: I did.
• 1:30
  Speaker B: Let's hear it.
• 1:31
  Speaker A: The start of the week was with my 20 pound sheepoo bama.
• 1:35
  Speaker B: How come you're saying she poo? That's the kind of dog.
• 1:38
  Speaker A: Shih tzu poodle.
• 1:39
  Speaker B: Oh, shih tzu poodle. She poo.
• 1:41
  Speaker A: Totally not a dog. Mom.
• 1:42
  Speaker B: She poo.
• 1:42
  Speaker A: Anyway, wait, can we just backtrack though? It's Mama clock.
• 1:46
  Speaker B: Mama clock. Episode 19.
• 1:48
  Speaker A: Episode 19.
• 1:49
  Speaker B: That's so cool. Crazy.
• 1:51
  Speaker A: Who's not buying our merch? Because we see you just letting everybody know.
• 1:56
  Speaker B: And new merch is also coming.
• 1:57
  Speaker A: New merch is also coming.
• 1:59
  Speaker B: Cool stuff.
• 2:00
  Speaker A: Cool stuff.
• 2:01
  Speaker B: I'm freaking out. Me too.
• 2:03
  Speaker A: No pun intended. Okay. And that's why I have to say welcome back your two favorite girlies, Emily and Z. Back at it again. Another week, another dollar that we don't see. Okay.
• 2:16
  Speaker B: Venmo me.
• 2:16
  Speaker A: No Venmo May. So anyway, back to my shitty week. Yeah, just been like a really crazy week. So anyway, starting off the week with my dog eating raisins. Okay, I don't buy raisins. I don't buy grapes. They're toxic to dog. They kill dogs.
• 2:29
  Speaker B: Did you know that raisins also kill dogs?
• 2:31
  Speaker A: I knew, but it wasn't top of mind. It's like a weird thing that I forget about raisins because I don't even eat raisins. So like, I'm like, why would my dog ever have a raisin? But I know grapes, I know chocolate, I know the whole thing. But like raisins especially because they're dried up, are very toxic. One or five deadly poison. Poison. This week I've been on this kick of cinnamon raisin bread fresh from the market. I take it out of my freezer, I eat it, I love it. But this week my son was like, mama, mama. So I gave him a piece and he's in a throwing stage. 18 months, you know the drill. Threw it right to the ground. I had a plate and my toast in my hand. Couldn't get to the toast fast enough. My dog ends up eating it. I don't know how many raisins were in that piece of bread. I call my vet and she's like, you need to get to the hospital now. One or five raisins. Like you need to get there now. Okay, picture this.
• 3:18
  Speaker B: You were probably like bugging. You were alone with Jamie's.
• 3:21
  Speaker A: I was alone with Gio and the dog. I'm in jammies. Gio's naked cuz he just pooped. He's in like that time in the morning is his poop time. Yeah, Bama just swallowed raisins. I. I'm thinking in my head seconds before this dog starts like seizuring on the floor. I'm freaking. And my vet, like I said, told me to get there as soon as possible. I don't know what to do. I said like it's you moms know. Like it's hard to just get the kid in the car.
• 3:42
  Speaker B: Oh yeah. I mean do you have to do change diaper first or you just hop him in the car? What do you do?
• 3:46
  Speaker A: Hopped in the car.
• 3:47
  Speaker B: Okay.
• 3:48
  Speaker A: I thankfully just like grabbed pajamas real quick because easiest thing to just slip on him. Threw that on him. No shoes. Grabbed the dog, got in the car. My parents are far from here. My family's far from here. Like they can't get to me quick enough. My vet is all the way up north, so I had to find a hospital nearby, which I'm not familiar with. I called my mother in law. Thank the Lord up above. She literally was in the food store, full food.
• 4:10
  Speaker B: But she had to put the food in the.
• 4:12
  Speaker A: Yeah, she was in the food store.
• 4:14
  Speaker B: Have to reshop car.
• 4:15
  Speaker A: No, literally cart full of food. She was at the register, she goes, I'm sorry, I have a Family emergency. Left the whole cart full of food.
• 4:22
  Speaker B: I have a good mother in law.
• 4:23
  Speaker A: I surely do. She came rushing to where I was. The kicker of this all, get pulled.
• 4:29
  Speaker B: Over while you're there.
• 4:31
  Speaker A: Did I not tell you this? Oh, got pulled over by a Woodbridge cop.
• 4:34
  Speaker B: Okay, we're speeding.
• 4:36
  Speaker A: Speeding, right. Nonetheless, hysterically crying. No joke. This is what I did, which is so bad. I pulled pull over. I stick my hand out the window, I start going like this. Come on.
• 4:45
  Speaker B: Oh, because you want the cop to hurry up.
• 4:47
  Speaker A: Yeah. And he's like dilly dallying in the car. I'm like, what am I doing sticking my hand out the window to a cop. He comes to the side of the car. I rolled out my window. I'm hysterical. I'm like, my dog is dying on my lap. And he's like, okay, well you still can't go 47. And it's funny.
• 5:01
  Speaker B: Screaming child.
• 5:02
  Speaker A: My child is screaming. This is, this is.
• 5:03
  Speaker B: This is adding to the week.
• 5:05
  Speaker A: Yeah, this is adding to the week. And I'll preference that. So I get pulled over. Cops like, okay, I don't give a fuck that you're crying. Your dog's dying. You can't go 47 into 20, right? Thank the Lord. He didn't even ask, like for my license or nothing. He just let me go. Son just whacked his lip, he's gushing blood. I can't.
• 5:21
  Speaker B: Mama clock. It never ends.
• 5:23
  Speaker A: No. Anyway, back to me. I was getting pulled over. I'm screaming, crying in the car, My dog's dying on my lap, like, can you just let me go, please? And he's like, all right, well, like, you can't speed. And I was like, all right, like, no problem. Screaming, crying, mind you. And he let me go. Thank you, Woodbridge cop, if you're listening. And he probably thought of his apps. No, I was like, my dog's dying on my lap. He ate raisins. The cop was probably like, okay, it's like a Tuesday, relax. And so I rush in. I like walk in. Literally. I'm like, my dog ate raisins. The alarms go off in the whole building. They rush him back, they induce vomiting. He's fine. I'm not. Okay. I was hysterically crying. My mother in law met me there. Thank the Lord. I just told you, like, she is saving grace. She stayed with my son. It was just a really rough day. So that happened then what happened next? What day was that? Monday. It was a Monday. Nonetheless.
• 6:20
  Speaker B: Happy Monday.
• 6:21
  Speaker A: Happy Monday. Then Gio starts to like act out of whack. And I'm like, something's wrong with him. He gets a fever.
• 6:27
  Speaker B: Oh, yeah.
• 6:28
  Speaker A: And I'm like, okay, it's definitely molars because he's drooling. Crazy amount drooling out of his mouth. And he always gets a rash by his private area when he's teething. And he's never this fussy. Like, good thing for me is when my kid is fussy, I know something's wrong.
• 6:44
  Speaker B: Yeah.
• 6:45
  Speaker A: So that happened. Fever up all night. And then he started to get like. Then my cousin told me the hand foot, mouths going around. So now I'm like, he definitely has hand foot, fucking mouth. And I'm like, not today. So now I'm checking him. He looks like he has the spots, but I'm like, it's viral, so it's like, there's nothing you can do. But it's also like, I want to know.
• 7:02
  Speaker B: Right?
• 7:02
  Speaker A: But I'm like, treating it like it's teething because he's definitely getting his molars. I could see it. The drooling, the spots are, like, weird. He has, like, this sore on his tongue. I'm just, like, very confused. So he's sick. Up all night for the past two nights. Then the incident with Charlie Kirk. Shot in plain sight. Witnessed that on the Internet, which was absolutely insane. Next day was September 11th, and today is what, Friday. I'm going, what a week.
• 7:28
  Speaker B: You forgot to mention when you spilled his entire bottle of milk in my Louis.
• 7:33
  Speaker A: Then to add on top of this all, I spilled smelly milk all over the Gap.
• 7:41
  Speaker B: I mean, a whole. We were shopping.
• 7:42
  Speaker A: Yeah.
• 7:43
  Speaker B: And I guess the bottle top was.
• 7:46
  Speaker A: Just came out and it was everywhere.
• 7:49
  Speaker B: And you know that smell of milk.
• 7:51
  Speaker A: Vomit all over my Louis. So now I'm like, oh, my. The smelly Louis Vuitton. And I can't. My week has been just, like, absolutely insane. And I'm so happy it's almost over.
• 8:04
  Speaker B: It's Friday.
• 8:06
  Speaker A: It's mom o'.
• 8:06
  Speaker B: Clock. Reset.
• 8:08
  Speaker A: I can hear my son crying from outside. So it's fine. I mean, it's fine. Like, what am I gonna do? My son is crying. He's with my mom. So it's, like, all good. But it's just, like, so hard as a mom to just, like, not jump out of this seat and go help him, which we just had to do. So.
• 8:22
  Speaker B: Yeah.
• 8:23
  Speaker A: Anyway, anything good going on in your life you tell me about?
• 8:27
  Speaker B: Yeah, sure. I had a lovely week.
• 8:30
  Speaker A: I'm so happy for you. Bucker. Go ahead.
• 8:35
  Speaker B: After you had your milk spill from The Gap. We went shopping, I went to get a massage.
• 8:38
  Speaker A: Got a whole new wardrobe, she got a massage.
• 8:43
  Speaker B: I got my nails did.
• 8:45
  Speaker A: Oh, the color looks good.
• 8:46
  Speaker B: Oh, thanks. Yeah. I have to ask Dom what color to get because I never know.
• 8:49
  Speaker A: Literally never know. I just felt like, tell me, tell me, tell me. Good stuff, good stuff. Tell me it gets better.
• 8:56
  Speaker B: Like, you know what I have to say.
• 8:57
  Speaker A: Tell me.
• 8:58
  Speaker B: I think I'm a better mom when my kids go off to school because when they come home, I can reset. I can give them my full attention of like not being with them from the crack ass of dawn, trying to entertain them all day long. And at 3 o', clock, I know I have from 3 to like 7:30. I just have like a couple hours.
• 9:18
  Speaker A: Yeah, like, that's fun to think about. Like, you have that short time to just like spend with your kids. Like, you can just plan. It's like, okay, you know, they're going.
• 9:23
  Speaker B: To bed and like, they miss you. Like, it's like, yeah, it's like, oh, a new thing.
• 9:27
  Speaker A: Tell me about your day.
• 9:28
  Speaker B: Yeah, so that was great.
• 9:30
  Speaker A: And I love that for you. Everyone loves school. It seems like.
• 9:33
  Speaker B: Yeah, my kids are doing great at school. I mean, it's first week.
• 9:37
  Speaker A: They're doing great in school. Joey has a bloody nose.
• 9:39
  Speaker B: Yeah. The teacher just texted, joey has bloody nose. It's all good. Vienna loves it. Joey went to visit her in the classroom to make sure she was okay. It was the sweetest thing. The teacher sent a picture. I was like, oh, my God. My.
• 9:49
  Speaker A: This is why moms have kids close together.
• 9:51
  Speaker B: Yes. Yeah. And Joey, like carried her backpack up to her cubby. I dropped them off today. And it was like the sweetest thing. He was like, I got it, V. And he carried her back.
• 10:01
  Speaker A: Freaking.
• 10:02
  Speaker B: And the teachers are like, oh. I'm like, yeah, he's so cute.
• 10:05
  Speaker A: You were there for it.
• 10:06
  Speaker B: Yeah, I saw. I saw it today.
• 10:07
  Speaker A: Really cute.
• 10:08
  Speaker B: Really cute.
• 10:09
  Speaker A: Oh, my God. Well, I mean, I'm so happy for you. Not about that. This episode is not about that at all. But I'm so happy to hear that you had a good week. I think you love when I have bad weeks and you have good weeks.
• 10:18
  Speaker B: It's not true. I feel for you. I truly feel.
• 10:21
  Speaker A: You literally just said those words to me, though.
• 10:22
  Speaker B: Yeah.
• 10:26
  Speaker A: You literally did. You know what also is hard? Thriving.
• 10:29
  Speaker B: I'm sorry, you're glowing.
• 10:30
  Speaker A: You're thriving me now. It's also hard to like, disassociate from what's going on out there.
• 10:34
  Speaker B: Yeah.
• 10:34
  Speaker A: So if you see Me being weird. It's because my son is. No. Not feeling well. And it's crazy.
• 10:38
  Speaker B: I completely can relate to that because if I were you and my kid was doing that, like, I wouldn't be here.
• 10:43
  Speaker A: Yeah. I couldn't. Yeah, I know. It's so hard. But it's like, we. We plan this day. It's a job, so we have to do it.
• 10:48
  Speaker B: You are committed.
• 10:49
  Speaker A: I'm committed. So, anyway, back to what we're supposed to be talking about. Let's talk about the real shit. Also, I had to do homework for this episode. I had to watch Unknown Numbers, the new documentary. Freaking out.
• 11:04
  Speaker B: If you haven't watched it, it's on Netflix. It's a documentary.
• 11:06
  Speaker A: It's like about an hour and a half, maybe a little bit longer.
• 11:09
  Speaker B: It is. It'll make you shook.
• 11:12
  Speaker A: I mean, it actually shook me to my core. Like, I don't know where to find it. Within my stomach, My core. But I felt it there. I mean, like. And you watched it before I did, so, like, you knew what was going on.
• 11:23
  Speaker B: Yeah.
• 11:23
  Speaker A: I mean, like, even though. Because you see things on TikTok and everything. I knew the ending, the outcome.
• 11:29
  Speaker B: Yeah. So the spoiler alert. We're gonna talk about this.
• 11:31
  Speaker A: Spoiler alert. The mom is the bully, the cyber bully. She's the one cyberbullying her daughter. And I knew that. And even watching it, I'm going, there's no way.
• 11:40
  Speaker B: Especially because she was being interviewed.
• 11:43
  Speaker A: I mean, like. I mean, and then you watch it, you find out, and then there's, like, more. Because they show, like, when they just find out it's the mom. And then, like, probably like a year later.
• 11:52
  Speaker B: It's like a couple years.
• 11:54
  Speaker A: I'm like, I have chills. I literally have chills. Zoom in on the chills. I can't even fathom she. I don't understand. I honestly.
• 12:02
  Speaker B: Can you talk?
• 12:02
  Speaker A: Because I don't. I can't comprehend.
• 12:04
  Speaker B: She's ill. She's ill. Sick, sick, mentally ill woman to. To do that to your daughter.
• 12:10
  Speaker A: Like, how do you recover? How do you.
• 12:14
  Speaker B: She's gonna need a lot of therapy, that little girl.
• 12:16
  Speaker A: I mean, I'm so mad because I wrote a lot of shit in my notes.
• 12:19
  Speaker B: Oh, yeah. You didn't even tell me about it.
• 12:20
  Speaker A: I know. And now I don't have my notes. Oh, I never sent it to myself. That was stupid of me. Maybe it's in your transferred, though. Oh, I think it transferred everybody. Hold the phone.
• 12:30
  Speaker B: I hope it did.
• 12:31
  Speaker A: Me too.
• 12:32
  Speaker B: You told me you had a lot of Notes about it.
• 12:34
  Speaker A: I did.
• 12:35
  Speaker B: I just also. I have a lot of thoughts. Like, I kind of think watching the documentary, that the daughter might have been in on it. What I do.
• 12:49
  Speaker A: What makes you say that?
• 12:51
  Speaker B: Just the way her reaction.
• 12:52
  Speaker A: I mean, I think she's just a little socially awkward. Yeah, I thought it too, but I like that. That's all.
• 12:59
  Speaker B: If I. If. If. If a police officer sat me down, I was like, I just have to tell you, we found out who it was. It's. It was your mother.
• 13:06
  Speaker A: I wrote this down.
• 13:07
  Speaker B: I would. I would have some sort of reaction.
• 13:09
  Speaker A: I was screaming. I was like, what the.
• 13:11
  Speaker B: And then, like, petting her.
• 13:13
  Speaker A: Yeah, petting her.
• 13:13
  Speaker B: Holding her hand, like.
• 13:14
  Speaker A: But I think that's the problem.
• 13:16
  Speaker B: It's all like. Yeah, it's all manipulative. It's all. I mean, it's fucked up.
• 13:21
  Speaker A: Like, you don't know because you've never been in this situation. Because to us, the outsiders were like, that is absolutely a positively not a fucking thing. Yeah, but it is. And it's been done. So it's like how. There's no textbook.
• 13:34
  Speaker B: No, it's just reaction, right? Yeah. I mean, she could have been in shock. She could have been.
• 13:39
  Speaker A: She could have been in shock. She could have been, like, manipulated by her mother. She could have been brainwashed by her mom. Like, you don't fucking know.
• 13:44
  Speaker B: Yeah.
• 13:45
  Speaker A: And that poor father, Husband, like, she's been lying to him. So these are the things I wrote down, and I'm just gonna go through them. I'm not even gonna talk about that. I'm just gonna go through.
• 13:52
  Speaker B: Okay.
• 13:53
  Speaker A: So finds out it's the mom, right? The mom doesn't even say sorry. She just starts petting her daughter's head.
• 14:00
  Speaker B: It was so weird.
• 14:01
  Speaker A: Husband tells the wife to leave, right? Says, you're not staying here. You're leaving.
• 14:06
  Speaker B: Go to your mother.
• 14:07
  Speaker A: She was like, can't leave my daughter. The. You are. And daughter's still hugging her.
• 14:14
  Speaker B: Yeah.
• 14:15
  Speaker A: Like, no one is screaming. That was my main concern. Nobody raised their voice.
• 14:19
  Speaker B: Maybe they're not a screaming family.
• 14:21
  Speaker A: I mean, I don't give a. And then no one is saying, like, how can you do this to your children? Like, how can you do this to your children? Then the part of you like, the other.
• 14:30
  Speaker B: The police officers were.
• 14:31
  Speaker A: This is my thing. The other family was, like, said something negatively about the police officer. Like, the one that. But I feel like he, like, also played into it. Like. Yeah, I was. How is no one saying, how can you do this to your child? I don't Know, the father wasn't even saying it. So Michael made a good point, like, maybe they were doing this for Netflix money, which I feel like that's absolutely insane.
• 14:52
  Speaker B: But anyway, plotting the whole thing.
• 14:53
  Speaker A: Yeah.
• 14:54
  Speaker B: Folks money.
• 14:54
  Speaker A: Yeah. I mean, like, the father wasn't even like, how can you do this to your child? I mean, is no one, like, attacking?
• 14:59
  Speaker B: I mean, his first thing was you lost your job. Like, he didn't like, what family is very.
• 15:06
  Speaker A: That's what you're worried about.
• 15:07
  Speaker B: Yeah, that was up.
• 15:08
  Speaker A: And then I also said lied about the jobs, obviously. Then the mom goes to the director of the school. I mean, sorry, the director of the. Of Netflix, like, of the documentary while she's being filmed, like, the interview. She goes, you're gonna think, like, I'm a crazy lady.
• 15:22
  Speaker B: I love when she said that.
• 15:23
  Speaker A: And then the director was like, no, Kendra, we're not. What? She's like, I. I didn't just make a mistake. Like, she knows what she said.
• 15:30
  Speaker B: She was like, talked in circles.
• 15:31
  Speaker A: Yeah. She was like, people make mistakes.
• 15:33
  Speaker B: Like, people you never got caught before doing something.
• 15:36
  Speaker A: You never got caught.
• 15:37
  Speaker B: The same thing.
• 15:37
  Speaker A: I don't bully my child and call her she skinny anorexic that needs to die.
• 15:43
  Speaker B: She said, go kill yourself. And then when the documentary interviewer asked her, were you nervous that your daughter was actually going to kill herself? She goes, no, because I was there comforting her, which makes me think.
• 15:55
  Speaker A: So this is the whole thing.
• 15:56
  Speaker B: The whole Munchausen, you know Munchausen.
• 15:59
  Speaker A: Yes. Yes.
• 16:00
  Speaker B: So I think. I mean, clearly she was so mentally ill. Yeah.
• 16:05
  Speaker A: She just wanted the attention from her daughter.
• 16:06
  Speaker B: She wanted the attention.
• 16:07
  Speaker A: Yeah.
• 16:07
  Speaker B: She just wanted to be needed. And also, if you really. If you rewatch it and you look at all the text messages she sent, it honestly seems like she's having, like, an outer body where she's actually talking to herself.
• 16:21
  Speaker A: She's saying, P U S S. Yeah, yeah, I'm gonna C R E a M in you. Like, what is happening?
• 16:28
  Speaker B: And she had a weird obsession with the.
• 16:30
  Speaker A: The boyfriend.
• 16:31
  Speaker B: Which.
• 16:31
  Speaker A: Yeah. Can't go even go there. But then. So she said, I didn't do the beginning messages, so it wasn't the mom and who the. But that. That's.
• 16:38
  Speaker B: She just needed, like, a little bit.
• 16:40
  Speaker A: Now I know you lie, right? Now I know you know how to lie.
• 16:42
  Speaker B: She's a good liar. She's a good liar.
• 16:44
  Speaker A: And then so I said it was. Was it all.
• 16:47
  Speaker B: First of all, wasn't me. That was the funniest part.
• 16:49
  Speaker A: First one, wasn't me.
• 16:50
  Speaker B: Like, like, it Was like, okay, like, congratulations.
• 16:52
  Speaker A: Yeah, you wasn't you. But she was like, this first one wasn't me. Like, girl, it doesn't matter. You're guilty either way. So obviously I said, is this Netflix money? Like, Michael brought that up, which I thought was a good point. So the dad was just, like, dead. I mean, everybody was just, like, sitting there talking about, like, no one was freaking out. So obviously this was a munch. What was it?
• 17:09
  Speaker B: Munch Housing?
• 17:10
  Speaker A: Munchausen's case. But the daughter, like, I. I think that the daughter needed her mom. So in that time of her life, I assume. And Kendra was able to play. The mom, was able to play the hero. And I think, like, she was obsessed with the fact that, I mean, point blank, the daughter and the mom, the cop pulls them aside and says, like, we found this out. You're guilty. And the first thing she does was get up and, like, pet her daughter's head.
• 17:40
  Speaker B: Yeah, they were.
• 17:40
  Speaker A: I would have been like, I'm sick. I don't know what's wrong with me. I mean, I would have been freaking out. Like, she wasn't even freaking out that she got caught, let alone. But she's.
• 17:49
  Speaker B: It. No, it was all super.
• 17:51
  Speaker A: I need answers. I need so many answers. I'm so.
• 17:55
  Speaker B: We need, like, a part two. So I really, truly think that Kendra, the mom, had Munchausen syndrome. And I just want to say a little thing of what that is. It's a psychological disorder where caregiver commonly a mom. But it doesn't have to be the mom seeks attention, sympathy, or a sense of control by making another person appear sick. In this case, made.
• 18:16
  Speaker A: It's like a cyber Munchausen.
• 18:17
  Speaker B: Yeah, it was cyber. Yeah. So it was, like, making your daughter feel like. Like, mentally sick because of all the bullying.
• 18:25
  Speaker A: Yeah, that makes sense.
• 18:26
  Speaker B: And then, like, she come and, like, just.
• 18:30
  Speaker A: Because obviously, like, a cycle. Like, the daughter was upset, she was being cyberbullied, so she came to her mom. But your mom wanted that. The mom just kept doing it.
• 18:38
  Speaker B: Yeah.
• 18:38
  Speaker A: Fucking not insane. Anyway, we're here to tell you about the different types of moms there are. And there's so many different flavors I didn't even know existed. So let's just run through them real quick. Just name them all, I guess.
• 18:51
  Speaker B: Okay. You have the helicopter mom, the lawnmower or bulldozer mom, the Pinterest Instagram mom, the free range mom, the crunchy mom, organic the CEO mom, the cool mom, the exhausted mom, the snowplow mom, the pageant mom, and the Zen mom.
• 19:13
  Speaker A: Like, are These, like, in the textbook.
• 19:14
  Speaker B: I think that these are not textbook official, but they are. Some of them are, like.
• 19:20
  Speaker A: They're just, like, listed.
• 19:22
  Speaker B: Yeah.
• 19:22
  Speaker A: As, like, funny names.
• 19:23
  Speaker B: Yeah.
• 19:24
  Speaker A: All right, well, helicopter mom just says who it is. Like, hovers over you every move more and more.
• 19:28
  Speaker B: Mom bulldoze.
• 19:30
  Speaker A: Yeah. Like, emails the coach. That type of mom. You know who it is. Pinterest, Instagram mom says for itself, the free range mom believes in, kids should roam and figure it out. I don't know what the fuck that means.
• 19:40
  Speaker B: Like, he'll be fine. Oh, he broke his arm. He's fine.
• 19:42
  Speaker A: Yeah. Like, let them just go, like the quote, like nothing's wrong with them. I kind of wish a part of me, like, I could do that, but it's hard.
• 19:48
  Speaker B: Yeah.
• 19:49
  Speaker A: Anyway, the. The crunchy mom organic. The CEO mom treats her house like it's Fortune 500 company. That's crazy. The Google calendar invites all that stuff. The cool mom, like, lets her kids say, shit. That's funny. Knows all the TikTok dances. Like, stuff like that. The exhausted mom obviously speaks for itself. The snowplow mom. What the fuck is a snowplow?
• 20:09
  Speaker B: It's similar to the bulldozer, but wait for the problem, and then they jump in the book. Let me think.
• 20:20
  Speaker A: Like, the problem arises, and then they figured out. I feel like that's me.
• 20:24
  Speaker B: Yeah.
• 20:25
  Speaker A: Why would you.
• 20:26
  Speaker B: I feel like that's, like, a lot of people.
• 20:27
  Speaker A: Yeah. Like, that's a normal thing.
• 20:28
  Speaker B: Yeah.
• 20:28
  Speaker A: Anyway, pageant stage mom, obviously. Dance mom. The Zen mom never yells, oh, my God. Speaks in affirmations. That's hilarious. Well, I mean, there's so many different kinds of moms. Like, and I feel like.
• 20:40
  Speaker B: And you could be, like, in multiple categories.
• 20:41
  Speaker A: You could be multiple. In multiple categories, but I feel like there's some that, like, I would never want to be. And my mom was never that. I'm so thankful for it.
• 20:50
  Speaker B: Yeah.
• 20:50
  Speaker A: I mean, like, which one? But even back in the day, like, the Pinterest Instagram mom. Wasn't that back then? But my mom always dressed me up. I always was in a cute outfit from the second I was born. Like, that was me for sure.
• 21:01
  Speaker B: So that would have been.
• 21:03
  Speaker A: I was always dressed.
• 21:04
  Speaker B: Yeah, always. I wasn't.
• 21:05
  Speaker A: What were you wearing?
• 21:07
  Speaker B: I mean, I was dressed, but I was my mom. Like, I told you, my mom didn't do hair and makeup. She doesn't know what, so.
• 21:13
  Speaker A: Didn't brush her hair. Didn't brush her.
• 21:14
  Speaker B: She brushed my. She was growing up with worms. No, but, like, I just.
• 21:22
  Speaker A: Yeah. Like, your mom wasn't the girly girl.
• 21:24
  Speaker B: No.
• 21:25
  Speaker A: Yeah, she was just like.
• 21:26
  Speaker B: But, like, she did, like, putting bows in my. Like, because that was her only girl. She liked that. But she. I wouldn't say, like, she had me dressed like, see?
• 21:33
  Speaker A: Now the shoe. All the things. But also, I have to say, like, I feel like the crunchy mom wasn't a thing. Like, back in the day, there was no, like, mom was there? No way.
• 21:46
  Speaker B: Every mom went to McDonald's.
• 21:47
  Speaker A: Yeah. I mean, yeah, for sure.
• 21:49
  Speaker B: Yes.
• 21:50
  Speaker A: Because it wasn't. You have to remember, the food back then wasn't as bad as now.
• 21:53
  Speaker B: Yeah.
• 21:54
  Speaker A: So that's, like, a thing.
• 21:56
  Speaker B: No, there was definitely, like, healthier moms. Like, Sam and Carly's mom probably would never take them to McDonald's.
• 22:02
  Speaker A: Okay. So that. Yeah, I guess so. When you were younger, like, my mom, when I had my friends over for playdates, we went to McDonald's.
• 22:07
  Speaker B: Yeah, I mean, my mom. Yeah, I went to, like, Romp around at McDonald's.
• 22:11
  Speaker A: Not romp around. Romp around is crazy. What is romp around?
• 22:15
  Speaker B: It's like a play place.
• 22:17
  Speaker A: Oh, it's called romper. Like, using an adjective.
• 22:19
  Speaker B: It's like a play place. Like a kid's empire.
• 22:22
  Speaker A: Oh, cute. Really cute. I guess. No, but the CEO mom, like, my mom didn't work right, so I didn't have that. But, like, I feel like so many CEO moms around, which power to you. Like, that's awesome.
• 22:34
  Speaker B: That's a badass mom.
• 22:35
  Speaker A: Yeah, badass mom.
• 22:35
  Speaker B: If you went back to work, would you have been the CEO mom?
• 22:39
  Speaker A: Totally. I feel like you. No, not like in household. I mean, like, I would do, like, I would just be a boss ass.
• 22:45
  Speaker B: Yeah. Yeah. I could see you doing that, you know, I mean, you still could be.
• 22:49
  Speaker A: Yeah, I'm still a baddie.
• 22:51
  Speaker B: Baddie, Baddie, baddie, baddie.
• 22:53
  Speaker A: No, but, like, the cool mom. My mom was definitely the cool mom. I feel like your mom is a cool mom. Like, everybody wants to come to your house.
• 22:58
  Speaker B: Yeah, my mom was the cool mom.
• 22:59
  Speaker A: Yeah, I'm def. I'm the cool mom now.
• 23:03
  Speaker B: I want to be a cool mom.
• 23:04
  Speaker A: I'm definitely the cool mom. Like, I do the tiktoks. Like, you know, I do a little plan now. You're definitely a cool mom, too. You know what you are?
• 23:11
  Speaker B: What am I?
• 23:12
  Speaker A: You're the fun mom.
• 23:14
  Speaker B: That's not even the category.
• 23:16
  Speaker A: You know, I made it up. You are fun. Like, I feel like my whole entire fun aunt. You're the fun mom. Like, everybody wants to go to Auntie Emily's. House. Or like, I want to go. Like, I. I want to go in Auntie Emily's car. Like, that's gonna be you.
• 23:28
  Speaker B: Oh, I love that.
• 23:29
  Speaker A: Yeah. Okay, now say something about life complete. Oh, yeah, you can get him a go. Yeah.
• 23:34
  Speaker B: We could leave now.
• 23:35
  Speaker A: Okay.
• 23:36
  Speaker B: No, I. I feel like.
• 23:37
  Speaker A: Tell me, tell me, what do you. What do you. What do you genuinely see in me? Like, don't. Don't fugazi it. Like, tell me.
• 23:45
  Speaker B: Yeah, let me think, let me think, let me think. I'm seeing all your boxes. No, I mean, you're. You're definitely, like, the put together, cool mom. So, like, I. Like, I always say, you don't try, but you just always put together.
• 24:02
  Speaker A: I really don't.
• 24:03
  Speaker B: No.
• 24:03
  Speaker A: But tell me more. I don't want to just be the put together mom.
• 24:05
  Speaker B: Oh, you don't?
• 24:06
  Speaker A: I like it. Am I cool?
• 24:08
  Speaker B: You're all. You're.
• 24:09
  Speaker A: Do you think, like, your. Your kids, like, want to be hanging around me?
• 24:12
  Speaker B: Yes. Yes, you're cool.
• 24:13
  Speaker A: I mean, my niece, like, you're fun too, but, like, my niece, Savvy, adores me. Like, yeah, I'm the coolest person ever.
• 24:18
  Speaker B: Yeah. I mean, Vienna thinks Auntie Dom's so cool.
• 24:20
  Speaker A: So cool.
• 24:21
  Speaker B: When she sees all of our videos.
• 24:22
  Speaker A: She'S like, you're doing the podcast. Yes, she knows. She understands the assignment.
• 24:27
  Speaker B: I mean, you're. You're cool.
• 24:28
  Speaker A: But now talk to me about, like, what I am about. You're crunchy and you're silky.
• 24:35
  Speaker B: Is so.
• 24:35
  Speaker A: Wait, so crunchy mom, what the are these names? Crunchy mom is organic. Silky mom is like, French fries. French fries for breakfast.
• 24:43
  Speaker B: Why is that?
• 24:44
  Speaker A: I don't know.
• 24:45
  Speaker B: Also, though, but, like, you're not, because. Oh, like, I. I witnessed something firsthand.
• 24:52
  Speaker A: Okay, tell me, tell me.
• 24:53
  Speaker B: We're in the gap. Okay. She spills the milk all over her Louis Vuitton.
• 24:57
  Speaker A: No, inside the Louis Vuitton.
• 24:59
  Speaker B: Did we talk about that? Yeah, it was a cutout. No, I think.
• 25:04
  Speaker A: Okay.
• 25:04
  Speaker B: We did so many fucking takes. I don't know.
• 25:06
  Speaker A: Yeah.
• 25:07
  Speaker B: Anyway, so we're. I'm trying on clothes. We're in the dressing room. She is like, oh, shit. She spills it. It's all in the bottom, all over.
• 25:15
  Speaker A: All over.
• 25:15
  Speaker B: Her Louis Vuitton wallet, her big purse. It's everywhere. Like, I'm talking about big spill. I literally was like, hold on one second. I took my phone to take a video of her, like, crying on the bathroom floor, but she wasn't crying. Like, so I'm confused by you. You.
• 25:28
  Speaker A: Me too.
• 25:29
  Speaker B: Because, like, a type A mom or like, somebody who really gives a shit about things would have been, like, freaking out, like, on edge.
• 25:35
  Speaker A: But I try to tell you this. Chill. Yeah. Like, I don't care. Like, things like that aren't that deep to me. Like, it'll get fixed. Not a big deal.
• 25:42
  Speaker B: Yeah.
• 25:42
  Speaker A: And I had the baby with me.
• 25:43
  Speaker B: Like, and she had the baby. And that's another thing. Like, we were shopping in the Gap. Like, she had Gio with her. Like, she. She made me do a tick tock where she had to put one of the phones. Hiding in front of.
• 25:54
  Speaker A: Wait, are we gonna post that? We have to.
• 25:55
  Speaker B: Yeah.
• 25:56
  Speaker A: Yeah.
• 25:56
  Speaker B: And. And like, she didn't even give a shit. Like, Gia was just sitting in the stroller, just chilling. And me, I. I think I. I guess you're really good at, like, multitasking. Like. Yeah, I. I'm, like, hyper focused. Like, I wouldn't be able to, like, concentrate on shopping or anything. What are you seeing?
• 26:11
  Speaker A: My mom. My mom's trying to come in. This. This episode's a mess.
• 26:15
  Speaker B: This is a shit show. No, like, you're just good. You were good. Like, you. You. She picked out all my outfits. She shopped for me, and she fed Geo snacks. Like she was doing it.
• 26:23
  Speaker A: And I spilled milk everywhere and spilled milk.
• 26:25
  Speaker B: But, like.
• 26:25
  Speaker A: Like, I just.
• 26:26
  Speaker B: I don't know, that type of it all together.
• 26:29
  Speaker A: Yeah. I just. That's really sweet.
• 26:31
  Speaker B: Yeah. I mean, I wouldn't be able to do that. I literally. If Rocco was crying or anything, I wouldn't. I'd be like, okay, but. Dom, I can't talk to you right now.
• 26:37
  Speaker A: Yeah, you are.
• 26:37
  Speaker B: You do that.
• 26:38
  Speaker A: Like, that. I don't know. I just kind of just like, I'm good at problem solving.
• 26:42
  Speaker B: Yeah.
• 26:43
  Speaker A: You know?
• 26:43
  Speaker B: Yeah.
• 26:44
  Speaker A: And it's just. And I don't know. I am. I was just so chill and calm. I just.
• 26:48
  Speaker B: I really truly.
• 26:49
  Speaker A: I wish I was like that when I have, like, a stomach ache.
• 26:51
  Speaker B: Yeah. I mean. Yeah. Or anxiety.
• 26:54
  Speaker A: Yeah. Different story. But anyway. Yeah. Like, I don't mind those types of situations. Like, it's all good. Like, who cares? There's milk in the. Louie. Whatever.
• 27:00
  Speaker B: Yeah.
• 27:01
  Speaker A: It'll get fixed.
• 27:01
  Speaker B: Yeah. Also, she came over for Sunday football. I'm like, My kids are. How was my house? Was it okay for you? Or was it too crazy?
• 27:09
  Speaker A: Honestly, like.
• 27:10
  Speaker B: Or chaotic for you?
• 27:12
  Speaker A: I mean, it wasn't chaotic for me. It was absolutely chaotic. But, like, to another person, like, they might be. I mean, Rock was in a state. Draco was screaming. But me and Michael could laugh or like, poor Em. We, we at most were like, poor Emily. Like, she has to deal with this all day long. It wasn't chaotic for us. It was chaotic for you. Yeah, it's. You have guests, which is like, we're not really guests, but like. And you have to deal with a crying child. Like, that's a lot.
• 27:34
  Speaker B: Yeah.
• 27:35
  Speaker A: To me, it's like, that's fucking a lot.
• 27:36
  Speaker B: Yeah.
• 27:37
  Speaker A: So, like, no, it wasn't chaotic for me.
• 27:38
  Speaker B: Okay.
• 27:39
  Speaker A: But I feel bad for you. Anyway, I hope he gets out of that stage very soon.
• 27:42
  Speaker B: It's a terrible stage. But I have to say, when Joey and Vienna are off at school, he's a perfect angel. He was eating, he was playing.
• 27:49
  Speaker A: Yeah, yeah. I mean, I don't know.
• 27:50
  Speaker B: I think he needs someone on one time with.
• 27:52
  Speaker A: Yeah. His mother.
• 27:53
  Speaker B: Mother.
• 27:53
  Speaker A: So anyway. So what, what, what else? Exhausted, Mom. You're definitely exhausted. Are you exhausted?
• 27:59
  Speaker B: I'm exhausted, but do I look exhausted?
• 28:00
  Speaker A: No, you don't. That's why I' that's why I never ask if you're okay.
• 28:03
  Speaker B: Because I feel like, oh, Exhausted mom is like survival mode. Only cold coffee and dry shampoo, which I feel like I am.
• 28:08
  Speaker A: You were that when I first met you.
• 28:10
  Speaker B: Yeah. I mean, I had three under three. Yeah, that I was ex.
• 28:14
  Speaker A: I mean, you. You full blown made me not want to have three under three.
• 28:17
  Speaker B: Yeah. I mean.
• 28:17
  Speaker A: No, you are the reason.
• 28:19
  Speaker B: It's a lot.
• 28:20
  Speaker A: I mean, it's a lot. Like, why would I want to.
• 28:22
  Speaker B: But I do have to say, coming on the other side now, it's good. It's.
• 28:25
  Speaker A: That's why people do it.
• 28:26
  Speaker B: That's why people do it.
• 28:27
  Speaker A: Yeah, 100%.
• 28:28
  Speaker B: I could see it.
• 28:28
  Speaker A: 100% pageant mom. Like, okay, let me explain something to you, everyone. So Instagram Pinterest is different than Pageant Mom.
• 28:36
  Speaker B: What?
• 28:36
  Speaker A: Pageant Mom. Because, like, pageant mom is like, my mom was very low key in the dance mom world. Like, she helped me in the dressing room, she put me on stage. She was like that type of dance mom, but she wasn't like, my daughter's the best. We're going to have the best hair and the best costume. The best. So back the fuck up. Like, she was not like that.
• 28:58
  Speaker B: All right, so that, that's where it passed. That's the difference.
• 29:00
  Speaker A: But there's a difference between. And then Pinterest is just like, they, you want your kid to look cute and, you know, take pictures. Like, you know, I think that's the difference.
• 29:09
  Speaker B: Oh, right, I could see that. But also, like, you were hairsprayed since birth, like.
• 29:14
  Speaker A: Oh, yeah, totally. Eyelashes, like, rhinestones on the hair.
• 29:19
  Speaker B: The hair, yeah. Starts dance on Saturday. Are you excited for her tomorrow?
• 29:23
  Speaker A: I'm so excited for her, but she started dance last year.
• 29:25
  Speaker B: She just did. It's camp set up for her.
• 29:27
  Speaker A: I hope she's good. I can't talk to her. See, you're gonna be the type of mom that, like, won't care. Like, you just want her to smile on stage, right? I'm like, point your goddamn toes.
• 29:37
  Speaker B: I'll say.
• 29:37
  Speaker A: You know? Yeah, I know. That's why I can't have it.
• 29:41
  Speaker B: Like, if your kid is bad, then do you just pull them out?
• 29:43
  Speaker A: Yeah.
• 29:44
  Speaker B: You just. They can't dance anymore.
• 29:47
  Speaker A: All right.
• 29:48
  Speaker B: But even as a baby.
• 29:50
  Speaker A: Out. So I can't.
• 29:52
  Speaker B: I'm actually thinking of that.
• 29:54
  Speaker A: Yeah. Like, I can't have the bad dancer in the class.
• 29:57
  Speaker B: Yeah. All right.
• 29:58
  Speaker A: Coming from the dancer, you didn't dance. So, like, what do you care? What do you know Better?
• 30:02
  Speaker B: No, but I could. I. I was. I was thinking about that, like, when my kids are older, like, if they're, like, really bad at a sport but they really still want to do it, do you let them do it? And they. If they.
• 30:14
  Speaker A: Yeah, but, like, you ain't getting a trophy.
• 30:17
  Speaker B: No. Well, nowadays, bug em pertinent.
• 30:19
  Speaker A: Yeah, that's what I'm saying. I'm not that mom. What is that? Is that on here? I'm not that mom.
• 30:23
  Speaker B: No, it's not, but.
• 30:24
  Speaker A: But I'm also gonna be the helicopter. Like, my mom was always the class mom. Oh, the hand.
• 30:27
  Speaker B: Yeah. Watch your hand.
• 30:30
  Speaker A: The helicopter. My mom was always the class mom. Like, she always did the cake. She helped me with my projects, but she never was like, honey, your project's all done for you. You can go to school now with it. Like, no, we always, like, were participating.
• 30:41
  Speaker B: Yeah, that's more of, like, bulldozing.
• 30:43
  Speaker A: Yeah, that's a little much.
• 30:44
  Speaker B: That's like doing the applications for the kid, doing everything.
• 30:47
  Speaker A: I mean, the difference between helping your kid and, like, doing it for them, you know? But anyway, I want to be.
• 30:54
  Speaker B: I just think I'm. I think I just want to be the fun mom, but I also want to be the supportive mom.
• 30:59
  Speaker A: I can understand you honestly fine. Like, you are the fun mom, and you're the fun aunt. You're all the things, but for a while, you only want it to be the fun. And then I think you turned its corner in the last, like. And then you started to realize, like, I can't just be the fun parent. And the fun mom and the fun aunt. Like, I need some structure in my life. And I think that's why your life got a little bit better.
• 31:21
  Speaker B: I think my kids just got older.
• 31:22
  Speaker A: Okay, come here. Want to come in? Yeah.
• 31:24
  Speaker B: Get up.
• 31:24
  Speaker A: Come here. He's filthy. From what? Come here.
• 31:29
  Speaker B: Poop. He's picking up poop.
• 31:32
  Speaker A: Come here, baby. Does he have poop in his hands? Come here. Come in. The podcast now.
• 31:40
  Speaker B: You don't want to come? Oh, he's so cute. He's gonna trip over that wire.
• 31:48
  Speaker A: Come on. You're a mess. And why do you. Why? Look at this girl. Mickey Mouse shorts with a Nike shirt on.
• 31:55
  Speaker B: Yeah.
• 31:56
  Speaker A: Come here. You're such a kid. I love it. Come here. Messi. He's not. Ma. He's okay. Just. If you let him go. Ma, come. Don't touch. Grab him. Put him on my lap. Come here, you. Come. And Mommy. This is what mama clock is, baby.
• 32:23
  Speaker B: Mama clock. Mama clock. Baby on stage.
• 32:26
  Speaker A: We're all Jersey. Hi, baby.
• 32:29
  Speaker B: Oh, no. We just lost three subscribers.
• 32:33
  Speaker A: Did we actually, no, because he's crying.
• 32:35
  Speaker B: We're not live.
• 32:38
  Speaker A: You can't touch any here.
• 32:41
  Speaker B: Throw a fit right there. Let's see what type of mom mommy is. Yeah, he's fine. He's gonna. You're a dirty boy.
• 32:53
  Speaker A: Me and Jeremy for nothing.
• 33:02
  Speaker B: This is a sick baby. Buttons, can I interview you? No.
• 33:19
  Speaker A: So anyway, I think we have to wrap it up.
• 33:21
  Speaker B: We gotta wrap it up.
• 33:22
  Speaker A: Can I just say something real quick?
• 33:24
  Speaker B: Yes.
• 33:24
  Speaker A: For those of you who aren't buying merch. We see who you are. So click and add to cart. My mom just goes. Why are you telling people what to do? Oh, and I lost audio.
• 33:37
  Speaker B: I think we should get your mom on.
• 33:39
  Speaker A: I know, Ma. Come on. Here. My mom's gonna yell at me for saying that. So what I meant to say was. You're being a helicopter mom. Mom.
• 33:47
  Speaker B: She's. She's watching us.
• 33:50
  Speaker A: We have merch that dropped. New merch coming. And we would really love for you to buy our merch.
• 33:55
  Speaker B: And that's it? Yeah, it's cool.
• 33:57
  Speaker A: So, like, follow subscribe and this episode is a mess. Look what I have in my hand. A dirty rat.
• 34:03
  Speaker B: I'm not even sure if this episode's gonna air.
• 34:05
  Speaker A: You don't think it's gonna air? Don't touch.
• 34:09
  Speaker B: I gotta pick up my kid. All right.
• 34:11
  Speaker A: They miss me. I don't know what we talked about. My kid is a mess. He's sick. Doesn't feel good. Don't do it. Oh, my God.
• 34:22
  Speaker B: Can you say mama Mama clock. Say Mama clock. Push.
• 34:28
  Speaker A: Do you have anything else to say?
• 34:29
  Speaker B: I have nothing to say today. It's the weekend. I want to go. Have fun.
• 34:33
  Speaker A: Okay.
• 34:33
  Speaker B: Love you. Love you. Bye.