Latest / The Everyday Awesome Project / 34: Fun, Freedom, and Fewer F’s Given: Stop Waiting for Permission to Live

Transcript

34: Fun, Freedom, and Fewer F’s Given: Stop Waiting for Permission to Live · The Everyday Awesome Project

• 0:27
  Polly Mertens: hey, superstars welcome back polly here and sam.
• 0:30
  Polly Mertens: What's up?
• 0:31
  Polly Mertens: Beautiful humans, hey, hey guys we've got a fun.
• 0:35
  Polly Mertens: You know, sometimes you and I are like I think we're being too serious, we need to be not serious on the next episode.
• 0:39
  Polly Mertens: So that's a little bit where where this came from.
• 0:41
  Polly Mertens: So today we're talking about the three F's to live by.
• 0:45
  Samantha Pruitt: Oh, my goodness, did you say the F word?
• 0:50
  Polly Mertens: Not yet.
• 0:50
  Polly Mertens: Yeah, not yet, but I think we're going to drop some of those today, but it's coming.
• 0:54
  Samantha Pruitt: So if you, have children listening to this episode.
• 0:57
  Samantha Pruitt: You should adjust the knob.
• 1:02
  Polly Mertens: So why are we talking about this, my dear?
• 1:03
  Polly Mertens: Why are we talking about the three F's to live by?
• 1:06
  Polly Mertens: What are we seeing in the world, in our environment, that we want to bring this to our audience?
• 1:12
  Samantha Pruitt: Yeah, you know it's one of these.
• 1:13
  Samantha Pruitt: It's three of these things that you and I do on the regular as part of just who we are in the world and we didn't always, but we do and so I sort of take them for granted a little bit until I go out into the world, which I do on a regular basis, work with people like you do.
• 1:30
  Samantha Pruitt: So we get these feedback loops and you're like wow, people are confused out there a little bit, or they've forgotten, or they just never did these three things, maybe they just haven't embraced them, and so we are putting this out as a gentle reminder.
• 1:46
  Samantha Pruitt: These three things are very important.
• 1:50
  Samantha Pruitt: They start with a capital F.
• 1:54
  Polly Mertens: And I think you know everybody's got their take on like this isn't like we're trying to get people to jump into our boat out of their boat.
• 2:01
  Samantha Pruitt: Yeah, we are.
• 2:01
  Samantha Pruitt: No, we are.
• 2:02
  Samantha Pruitt: It's a cruise ship they should get on board immediately.
• 2:06
  Polly Mertens: It's the party ship, it's the party boat and you want to be in it.
• 2:09
  Polly Mertens: That's why it's like that one's taking off and those people are having.
• 2:13
  Polly Mertens: Yeah, I was about to let out one of the three apps but we'll dive into that.
• 2:18
  Polly Mertens: Okay.
• 2:19
  Polly Mertens: So this is yeah, as we continue to be in the world.
• 2:21
  Polly Mertens: The Everyday Awesome Project is reminding people that life is meant to be awesome, to enjoy it, to live the richness of it, not to just cruise by, get in all the seriousness of it.
• 2:33
  Polly Mertens: And you know some of the inspiration.
• 2:35
  Polly Mertens: You know you were kind enough to share with me.
• 2:38
  Polly Mertens: You had listened to an interview with RuPaul, which is a beautiful human being.
• 2:43
  Polly Mertens: Love this man, man, drag queen.
• 2:44
  Polly Mertens: You know so, this man, drag queen, you know so.
• 2:46
  Polly Mertens: I say man, but you know, oftentimes he's a woman, if you will, just a beautiful soul, and he just talks about his mission is to bring fun into the world and if you haven't seen him, her, perform before, it's all about the fun, it's all about drag, it's all about self-expression and color and, just you know, vivacious boldness, right?
• 3:06
  Samantha Pruitt: And more fun.
• 3:07
  Samantha Pruitt: It's basically yeah, his story is remarkable and his new book is remarkable, so you should check it out, but it's really like the underlying message is to bring more laughter and fun to the world.
• 3:23
  Samantha Pruitt: Yeah, and we realize life is too serious.
• 3:26
  Polly Mertens: You know and there's definitely podcasts out there that people are bringing lots of you know consciousness to the world Hard science.
• 3:32
  Polly Mertens: Yeah, like, like, the like, the hacking and the AI, and we're like yeah we listen to those we balance them out, right?
• 3:42
  Polly Mertens: Yes, we're the other side of the coin over here.
• 3:44
  Polly Mertens: For you to tune in to the part of you.
• 3:47
  Polly Mertens: That inner child, that five-year-old, that 10-year-old, that two-year-old, that's like wait a minute, is all the world like biohacking and AI.
• 3:55
  Polly Mertens: Oh right Please no, please.
• 3:59
  Samantha Pruitt: no, that's not the cruise ship I'm getting on.
• 4:04
  Polly Mertens: So enough about why.
• 4:06
  Polly Mertens: Let's tell them Okay.
• 4:07
  Polly Mertens: So like liberating yourself with these three apps, like how would you break that down If you want to tell them all three at once?
• 4:13
  Polly Mertens: Or let's start with the first one.
• 4:14
  Polly Mertens: Where are we going with this?
• 4:16
  Samantha Pruitt: The first one is fun, which we just alluded to in our intro here.
• 4:22
  Samantha Pruitt: So fun, having more fun and making sure that fun is a part of your everyday life.
• 4:29
  Samantha Pruitt: You know, it's been one of my slogans for a long time, in the workplace, but also in the personal life space, but definitely at work.
• 4:36
  Samantha Pruitt: I had to at one point like really interject this hardcore with one of my teams.
• 4:40
  Samantha Pruitt: If we're not having fun, we need to stop.
• 4:43
  Samantha Pruitt: Something has gone terribly awry with this project, because if there's no joy coming out of it whether it be the project itself or us working together or the experience that we're, you know, cultivating we're doing something wrong.
• 4:56
  Samantha Pruitt: We need to review that.
• 4:58
  Samantha Pruitt: And, as a personal investment, I obviously invest in fun on a regular basis and sometimes it's horrible, fun, crazy, outrageous things, but at the end of it I still want to say that journey was fun, the experience was fun for me.
• 5:13
  Polly Mertens: How about you?
• 5:14
  Polly Mertens: And I just want to echo what you're saying.
• 5:16
  Polly Mertens: And if people looked at your life from the outside and didn't know you hadn't listened to a word that came out of your mouth, they'd be like, damn, that girl's badass, she's hardcore, she's hard charge, you know whatever.
• 5:28
  Polly Mertens: Like climbed a lot of mountains in life.
• 5:30
  Polly Mertens: Let's say, right, you've had challenges put either in front of you or you've taken on challenges yourself, right, and it's like from the outside, from a you know Ironmans and ultras and stuff like, stuff like that, like this girl's just all business.
• 5:44
  Polly Mertens: And it's like to know samantha from the personal perspective, even the business perspective, personally, let's say, um, I'm just here to tell you from the inside out, like this woman is pure fun, like I've showed this with other people in my life.
• 5:59
  Polly Mertens: I say working with samantha and I say working with her quotes right, working with samantha is hilarious, working with her quotes right, working with Samantha is hilarious.
• 6:05
  Polly Mertens: Like the word hilarious comes out of your mouth more often than probably any other word and that makes me so happy because it's like a levity, right, like a levity.
• 6:17
  Polly Mertens: Remember the joy.
• 6:18
  Polly Mertens: Remember, like you said, yeah, there's going to be challenges, things that we're facing, teamwork, building things, conquering things, overcoming things, whatever life faces us, or we put out there like you're Ironman right now.
• 6:30
  Polly Mertens: It's like you even talked about you rebuilt your training plan.
• 6:34
  Polly Mertens: You're like, hey, it's more fun now, right?
• 6:37
  Samantha Pruitt: Exactly, and I were talking about in relationship to just this word is how we both are so invested in it being part of who we are in the world and what we deliver to the world, but how we do it so differently.
• 6:51
  Samantha Pruitt: So I do this little like micro dosing all day long, little snippets of fun, we, we, we, you know, and and then you do these mega like fully hardcore three day, yeah, like fully hardcore three day.
• 7:03
  Samantha Pruitt: Five day, seven days of like full immersion fun.
• 7:06
  Samantha Pruitt: But yet we both have this.
• 7:09
  Samantha Pruitt: Really, it's a high value for us and for our connection together and for this project that it be really paramount in our lives.
• 7:19
  Polly Mertens: Yeah, you know, and I think one of the things you and I touch upon maybe not in every episode is the word values.
• 7:25
  Polly Mertens: You know, and I would say one of my core values is fun, right, and I just, for some reason, this is jumping out at me so I'm going to share it.
• 7:36
  Polly Mertens: So I did this workshop many years ago that's called the Queen's Code, alison Armstrong.
• 7:39
  Polly Mertens: She does a lot of wonderful work men and women and stuff and so I was in a period where I was coming out of divorce, learning about myself, learning about myself and relationship, whatever.
• 7:47
  Polly Mertens: She's got beautiful work around that.
• 7:49
  Polly Mertens: And this Queen's Code workshop, what they get and it's all women, you know pretty obviously, hopefully you got that.
• 7:56
  Polly Mertens: And what she says as a core is each woman on the planet is the queen of her own queendom, right.
• 8:05
  Polly Mertens: So we have each woman has her own queendom, whatever that looks like, big or small, you know, family, business, whatever.
• 8:12
  Polly Mertens: So we have our queendom and each queen, each woman, brings queen's qualities to her queendom, like that queendom, that family, that community, whatever they can count on her for that, and it's a different combination for every queen, so, for example.
• 8:29
  Polly Mertens: So one of the things was we went through it felt like a values exercise is like and I won't tell you all about it whatever.
• 8:34
  Polly Mertens: So you get to the end of this values exercise type of process and you come up with what you see as your queen's qualities.
• 8:41
  Polly Mertens: Like, what is your queendom?
• 8:43
  Polly Mertens: Can they count on you?
• 8:44
  Polly Mertens: And I'll tell you my four and guess what Two of our Fs are in it.
• 8:48
  Polly Mertens: Awesome.
• 8:49
  Polly Mertens: My queen qualities are freedom, fun, abundance and fun-free, happy and abundant right.
• 8:58
  Samantha Pruitt: Nice.
• 8:59
  Polly Mertens: And so it's like a values thing, right?
• 9:02
  Polly Mertens: So you and I value fun, and you know, so these other women.
• 9:06
  Polly Mertens: That was like grace or beauty, and you know you can have like every woman has elements of grace and beauty, but like your core, if you will, and so ours just happened to be fun, I think right, and we lose sight of it.
• 9:19
  Samantha Pruitt: I think people get a little too sick.
• 9:21
  Samantha Pruitt: Why is it important for everyone?
• 9:24
  Samantha Pruitt: We're saying why it's important to us.
• 9:26
  Samantha Pruitt: Why is it important for the average Joe or Josephine out there in the world?
• 9:31
  Polly Mertens: Yeah well, I think that's for everyone to ask themselves.
• 9:34
  Polly Mertens: So, if you're listening to this, where is fun in your life?
• 9:37
  Polly Mertens: Either a big or a small, or do you resonate with fun and you're just not giving yourself permission to have it Right, you know, have you taken it off the table for some reason, or has someone else in your life taken it off the table for you and it's time to bring it back?
• 9:53
  Samantha Pruitt: Exactly, Exactly, Because in our youth, when we're children, of course fun is a natural part of our play and our interaction with others and with the world, right?
• 10:04
  Samantha Pruitt: And then things happen, conditioning happens, society, family, et cetera, that maybe change our perspective on fun and maybe permissions are lost along the way.
• 10:17
  Samantha Pruitt: So really, it's like innate in the human experience that fun would be part of it.
• 10:22
  Samantha Pruitt: If you look back at, you know evolution and even tribal communities and times.
• 10:26
  Samantha Pruitt: Of course there is levity and fun.
• 10:28
  Samantha Pruitt: They play games, they did these things.
• 10:31
  Samantha Pruitt: We're humans, right?
• 10:33
  Samantha Pruitt: It's just a natural thing for us to want to have.
• 10:37
  Polly Mertens: And I don't know why.
• 10:37
  Polly Mertens: I want to just touch on this.
• 10:39
  Polly Mertens: For some reason this is jumping out at me, so I'm just going to hit on it.
• 10:41
  Polly Mertens: So I've noticed I don't have children.
• 10:43
  Polly Mertens: You have children and you could tell the story a little bit differently.
• 10:47
  Polly Mertens: But my perspective of whether I've been in relationship with a man who had an ex and he had children, or just seeing people in the world, I often see that the women are the disciplinarian, you know.
• 11:02
  Polly Mertens: So they're often put in the role of, let's call it, raising the kids in a way that they're having to mold them, which isn't a great word, but that's what I often see.
• 11:12
  Polly Mertens: It's like, oh, they have to say, no, you can't have that.
• 11:13
  Polly Mertens: Yes, you can have that, you know, like you have to be home by this time or whatever, and that takes a little bit of the fun out, because they have to keep that dynamic where they're disciplinarian dictator in charge, they have too much fun.
• 11:27
  Polly Mertens: It's kind of like when you get into the workplace, if your team is too much of your close friends, then they don't the the blind, the lines get a little blurred and you can't ask, you know.
• 11:38
  Polly Mertens: Then it's like hey, I need you to do that and they're like.
• 11:40
  Polly Mertens: You know, it's like I thought we were friends here, you know.
• 11:42
  Polly Mertens: So I just noticed that.
• 11:43
  Polly Mertens: So, men, we were friends here, so I just noticed that.
• 11:45
  Polly Mertens: So men, often what I've seen is get to have the fun with the kids, and women sometimes put themselves in the role of the disciplinarian or you know whatnot.
• 11:53
  Polly Mertens: And I just want to say, like we women need to bring back the fun too in our own life right With the kids, you know.
• 12:00
  Samantha Pruitt: Totally and be seen as people ourselves that can experience fun, not just allow others to have fun, but be the ones experiencing the fun.
• 12:12
  Polly Mertens: Yeah, and you wanted to talk about like micro dosing or micro.
• 12:14
  Polly Mertens: I think.
• 12:14
  Polly Mertens: I think fun is a good one to talk about that.
• 12:17
  Samantha Pruitt: So what do you mean by micro dosing of fun, or yeah, and the difference in how you and I go out and seek or bring fun into our lives.
• 12:27
  Samantha Pruitt: I see you as doing that full immersion kind of fun.
• 12:31
  Samantha Pruitt: Not that you don't have fun on the daily, but I am definitely a micro doser.
• 12:35
  Samantha Pruitt: Like every day, I have a schedule of doing a multitude of things here, there and everywhere and whatever, and I want fun weaved into that.
• 12:43
  Samantha Pruitt: So it doesn't have to be an epic thing where I go on this amazing vacation.
• 12:48
  Samantha Pruitt: The whole thing was fun.
• 12:48
  Samantha Pruitt: I don't need to have that, but I need to every day have fun.
• 12:55
  Samantha Pruitt: And that is about my little interactions.
• 12:57
  Samantha Pruitt: You know, at the coffee shop or at the gym, it's with you, know people that I'm connected to, whether I'm, you know, texting somebody or having a call or having even a meeting.
• 13:07
  Samantha Pruitt: You know, making sure there's some levity and play inside the meeting opportunity is important to me.
• 13:15
  Samantha Pruitt: These people whether it's my clients or people that I love or even friends you know their lives are very serious and usually we have serious topics to discuss, but it doesn't mean there can't also be some play, some fun.
• 13:31
  Polly Mertens: And I think one of the things you and I've seen, if we don't have statistics and I don't want to bore people with stats and stuff like that, whether it's physical performance, ie endurance things, sports things, you know, moving your physical body, business performance right, where it's results and driving to objectives and goals, and things like that Um, and I believe there are statistics and studies that would say, in both those scenarios and more, that having levity, having fun, having a jovial heart, spirit right, whatnot gets better results right.
• 14:07
  Polly Mertens: So the old paradigm.
• 14:09
  Samantha Pruitt: One hundred percent.
• 14:10
  Polly Mertens: Right, the old paradigm.
• 14:11
  Polly Mertens: I can remember watching, like Nadia Comaneci I don't know if you remember in the 70s, right Like her.
• 14:15
  Polly Mertens: She was like from Russia or Poland, I forget, maybe it's the same, anyway so there and her coach was like so serious and stuff like that.
• 14:23
  Polly Mertens: So that was like the paradigm of you know.
• 14:26
  Polly Mertens: The cold war was like results come from hard ass whatever.
• 14:30
  Polly Mertens: And if we look at courtney, uh, doll water now, is that how you say her last name?
• 14:34
  Samantha Pruitt: DeWalt, dewalt.
• 14:36
  Polly Mertens: Sorry, Courtney, who is this mega runner just breaking records left and right.
• 14:41
  Samantha Pruitt: Top female ultra runner in the history of the world.
• 14:46
  Polly Mertens: Like smile on her face, the sunshine she brings to it seems like every step which, in 100 and 200 plus mile journeys, is freaking hard.
• 14:57
  Polly Mertens: She's in a hard ass pain cave, but her spirit is bringing fun and levity to hard challenging things.
• 15:05
  Polly Mertens: She's not not doing the work, she's not out there crushing these goals and these records, but her spirit is like yours.
• 15:14
  Polly Mertens: How can I bring some fun or smile along the way?
• 15:17
  Polly Mertens: When I can there's hard times right.
• 15:20
  Samantha Pruitt: Yeah, yeah, totally.
• 15:21
  Samantha Pruitt: I think, we sold people on fun.
• 15:23
  Samantha Pruitt: Okay, all right, number two Number two we're using the word freedom, yeah, but we also want to say what that means.
• 15:33
  Polly Mertens: Yeah.
• 15:33
  Polly Mertens: So you know, I looked this up a while back about because, because I found out one of my core values was free, right.
• 15:43
  Polly Mertens: So I was like, oh, free, and I always love words and the study of words, and actually I just want to introduce the word liberty, right, Because we throw around the word free, but liberty is often what we mean by free.
• 15:52
  Polly Mertens: So often freedom means the freedom of space and movement and going where we want.
• 15:59
  Polly Mertens: But liberty is something you give yourself.
• 16:01
  Polly Mertens: It's that inner permission to choose and be free of mind, be free of I use the word free be liberated of a paradigm, be liberated from someone else's perception or our own perception or our own story, right?
• 16:18
  Samantha Pruitt: So it's something we give ourselves to liberation or freedom to think, be, become yourself, right.
• 16:28
  Samantha Pruitt: You don't need someone else's permission to do that.
• 16:30
  Samantha Pruitt: By the way, you were born check got the permission showed up on the earth in human form ready to go Like you don't need anything beyond that.
• 16:42
  Polly Mertens: Yeah.
• 16:43
  Samantha Pruitt: That's liberation right To understand that.
• 16:45
  Samantha Pruitt: You have that at any moment, that choice to embrace that.
• 16:51
  Polly Mertens: You know, and it's an interesting line because the mind is a peculiar thing when it A, it's a security-seeking mechanism, right?
• 17:02
  Polly Mertens: So its job is to have hard lines around the things that it knows and doesn't know, which creates certainty and uncertainty.
• 17:09
  Polly Mertens: Anything inside of the line been there, done that, know it, I got it right Certain, cool, that's good.
• 17:16
  Polly Mertens: Outside of that, don't know it, uncertain, scary, yeah, could die.
• 17:22
  Polly Mertens: Lots of fun could be had, but oh, no, no, no, don't know it Right.
• 17:27
  Polly Mertens: And so, freeing ourselves or liberating ourselves from old ways of thinking, old paradigms, old shoulds, things that people label us with we labeled ourselves with, we set our own boundaries, you know?
• 17:40
  Polly Mertens: I mean, I just was listening to something.
• 17:42
  Polly Mertens: Some guy just ran 450 miles, kind of nonstop.
• 17:46
  Polly Mertens: I think you sent that to me, right?
• 17:47
  Polly Mertens: Yeah, it's like even the supposed.
• 17:51
  Polly Mertens: You know what was it?
• 17:52
  Polly Mertens: The four minute mile, five minute, four minute mile.
• 17:54
  Polly Mertens: Right, like Robert Roger Bannister, you?
• 17:56
  Samantha Pruitt: know, can never be broken.
• 17:57
  Samantha Pruitt: Can never be broken.
• 17:58
  Samantha Pruitt: Oh it's broken and now everybody's doing it right and we keep finding those barriers of.
• 18:03
  Polly Mertens: You know Wim Hof, you know, oh, you can't get your body at certain temperatures, or you know running a marathon in the snow, and you know all these things that, yeah.
• 18:12
  Polly Mertens: So the freedom is, sometimes it's liberation of what we think, what we have thought.
• 18:19
  Samantha Pruitt: Also there's a ton of science on people and depression and anxiety and having or not having a feeling of autonomy over their lives.
• 18:28
  Samantha Pruitt: I consider that to be under the definition of the giant umbrella of freedom or liberation is do I feel a sense of agency over my own life?
• 18:39
  Samantha Pruitt: Do I have some autonomy here in the workplace?
• 18:42
  Samantha Pruitt: There's tons of research in the workplace, for sure, in professional environments, but also in home environments.
• 18:47
  Samantha Pruitt: Do I feel like I am the one who is going to have some, say, some control, some not really power, but kind of power, you know, empowerment over what's happening here and when you, they don't, these humans, huge amounts of not only unproductive right environments, but really toxic environments, mentally and emotionally toxic environments.
• 19:13
  Samantha Pruitt: And then the reverse is true.
• 19:15
  Samantha Pruitt: When they created environments in home environments or in work environments, whatever the case may be, where people felt that sense of agency and autonomy over what was happening, they felt empowered, they felt alive and they felt bought in to what was going to happen.
• 19:31
  Samantha Pruitt: How can I contribute?
• 19:32
  Samantha Pruitt: They stepped up and of course, you know, the emotional turmoil was alleviated in many cases because of the environment being shifted like that.
• 19:44
  Polly Mertens: As you were talking.
• 19:44
  Polly Mertens: The other thing that I was reminded of in work that I've done before is my experience of the word possibility, and my questioning of possibility helps me see that barrier.
• 19:56
  Polly Mertens: Sometimes where I have, where I don't feel free, or I am free or I can break through a paradigm in my own thinking which is is it possible?
• 20:04
  Polly Mertens: Or, as Byron Katie would say, is that true, right?
• 20:07
  Polly Mertens: So it's like questioning your own belief, questioning the limitation as a limitation, in truth, like for real, or is it perceived limit or no?
• 20:19
  Polly Mertens: But you really have the power.
• 20:20
  Polly Mertens: You just haven't given yourself the you know, permission sometimes.
• 20:24
  Polly Mertens: So like what's possible?
• 20:26
  Polly Mertens: Sometimes we, we limit ourselves and just budging and bumping up against that paradigm is like are you sure, is that true, you know?
• 20:35
  Polly Mertens: Or is something else possible so you can set yourself free?
• 20:38
  Polly Mertens: So I think the big thing here is, like, where are you limiting yourself?
• 20:41
  Polly Mertens: Like, where are you thinking that you're not free, that you could be if you allowed yourself to be?
• 20:48
  Polly Mertens: Or where are you thinking that other people maybe are limiting you and if you ask yourself, you could set yourself free?
• 20:55
  Samantha Pruitt: Yeah, I'm glad you mentioned her work.
• 20:57
  Samantha Pruitt: It's called the Work, by the way.
• 20:58
  Samantha Pruitt: It's personal growth.
• 21:01
  Samantha Pruitt: You know it's a whole program around, but at the core of it and the core you know basics of the philosophy and the methodologies is in liberating the self from suffering.
• 21:12
  Samantha Pruitt: So I'm so glad you brought her up.
• 21:15
  Samantha Pruitt: She's amazing and she was definitely part, part of my journey and I know you've studied her too.
• 21:20
  Polly Mertens: It's so simple and easy to forget.
• 21:24
  Polly Mertens: That's what I love.
• 21:24
  Polly Mertens: That's what I love about that, but so easy to forget, it takes us back.
• 21:30
  Polly Mertens: You know, it's just we get.
• 21:31
  Polly Mertens: We get this mind running the show, thinking security, safety, don't F it up.
• 21:37
  Polly Mertens: You know what will people think?
• 21:39
  Polly Mertens: All this outer influence, and we're here to say bust all that Like is it?
• 21:44
  Polly Mertens: Is it even true?
• 21:46
  Samantha Pruitt: Is it even true, is it?
• 21:47
  Samantha Pruitt: Oh my gosh, that's so good.
• 21:51
  Polly Mertens: Byron Katie, check her out, highly recommend.
• 21:53
  Polly Mertens: So yeah, it's world famous, so good, okay the work.
• 21:56
  Polly Mertens: What's our third?
• 21:57
  Samantha Pruitt: one.
• 21:57
  Samantha Pruitt: I mean it might be my favorite.
• 22:01
  Samantha Pruitt: So over 50, it's definitely over 50.
• 22:06
  Samantha Pruitt: This is definitely a thing and it's said in a few different ways.
• 22:09
  Samantha Pruitt: You know, politically correct or incorrect or otherwise, but here on the Everyday Awesome show, it's no fucks given.
• 22:18
  Samantha Pruitt: So, yes, it is that F, yes, and it is called no fucks given.
• 22:23
  Samantha Pruitt: What does that mean to you?
• 22:26
  Polly Mertens: Well, and it's not even disrespect, you know, I think when people first hear that, like when I started hearing that in my you know it's not about the other.
• 22:34
  Samantha Pruitt: Yeah, it's about the self.
• 22:36
  Polly Mertens: It is Don't get it confused people.
• 22:39
  Polly Mertens: It's about the self.
• 22:40
  Polly Mertens: It is Don't get it confused, people it's not about the other.
• 22:41
  Polly Mertens: Yeah, yeah, and I think that's part of that liberation, right, you know, no fucks given is like part of liberating ourself to be ourself.
• 22:46
  Polly Mertens: Like I had a text with a friend recently and she's like I'm just, you know, realizing the relationships that are weighting me down, that are feeling heavy, right, and it's like, yeah, that sort of obligation to someone else.
• 22:57
  Polly Mertens: It's like no fucks game.
• 22:59
  Polly Mertens: It's like, hey, you do, you, I'm gonna be over here doing me, right, like you just free yourself from heavy relationships or obligations.
• 23:06
  Polly Mertens: Or, like you said, like how other people's care what you think or wear or say or whatever, right, and it's not a yeah, fuck in like fuck, it's more of a I don't give a fuck what you think.
• 23:20
  Polly Mertens: All that matters is how I am I happy with me.
• 23:26
  Samantha Pruitt: Exactly, exactly.
• 23:27
  Samantha Pruitt: A lot of it is around like societal, you know, expectations or something when we reference, like the 50 plus females, and I'm telling you, this does.
• 23:37
  Samantha Pruitt: This is a physiological, biochemical thing happens, I'm sure, in all humans, but definitely in females you go through this really fun time called perimenopause and menopause and somewhere in that transition, out the other side of that abyss, is this moment in time where I'm telling you it's like the switch just is flipped and no fucks given is.
• 24:07
  Samantha Pruitt: Literally, you just want it on a shirt, you just want to walk around all day long.
• 24:10
  Samantha Pruitt: If you just embrace that, it's there for you.
• 24:14
  Samantha Pruitt: And I'm not saying that we're the only ones entitled to that.
• 24:16
  Samantha Pruitt: Everyone's entitled to that, as we're saying here.
• 24:19
  Samantha Pruitt: But there is this moment of caring about what other people think of how my body looks, what other people think about the career path I have taken or the one I'm about to take, whatever people think about how I raised my children or how much money I have or the car, like all of these external judgments from other people.
• 24:42
  Samantha Pruitt: Shatter.
• 24:45
  Samantha Pruitt: You absolutely have the power.
• 24:47
  Samantha Pruitt: It's right there.
• 24:48
  Samantha Pruitt: Shatter that because, it's incredible when that is gone and alleviated from, I don't even think about it anymore, like it's so bizarre.
• 24:59
  Samantha Pruitt: How did I go for this whole first half of my life walking around caring about that kind of shit and now I'm like I don't even what the hell.
• 25:08
  Polly Mertens: You know it's so amazing.
• 25:10
  Polly Mertens: I know this is super, super, super superficial.
• 25:13
  Polly Mertens: I meant to say it that way Super superficial super, super, super super superficial is, um, as you were saying that I was thinking about, you know, the, you know uh, part of, I think, why all the chemicals and hormones act in a way they do, let's say it, continuing the species, ie reproduction, which we all know is a thing, and drives women in their twenties and thirties to do all sorts of sorry, insane things to reproduce and la la la and then to be attractive to a mate.
• 25:42
  Polly Mertens: Right, right.
• 25:42
  Polly Mertens: So here's the super superficial part of it.
• 25:44
  Polly Mertens: So one of the obsessions that I've had, you know, a lot of my life, was, you know, that perfect body, flat stomach, you know, bikini body or whatever.
• 25:52
  Polly Mertens: And I and I just step back now and I look at it and I go, how many hours of the thousands of hours of my life have I been in a bikini?
• 26:02
  Polly Mertens: I'm like probably less than 0.0001% have I been in a bikini out, and not that like by hiding anything, but like, and I'm like, and how many hours do we women spend and I'm not saying all women, so forget, you know, this is just something that was going on in my life, if you will.
• 26:22
  Polly Mertens: And you see this, though, in the fitness world, right.
• 26:24
  Polly Mertens: So one of the first things I see when I see, sorry, supermodels on runways and magazines, I just go, girl, have a sandwich.
• 26:32
  Polly Mertens: I'm like, please have a sandwich.
• 26:33
  Polly Mertens: I'm like, oh, the trying, the ripped body, the 0% body fat or, you know, the super lean body fat it's for, and something that, as we're saying, is like, what is it for what percentage of our time, and does it bring us joy?
• 26:49
  Polly Mertens: I'm going on and on, but I think you know what I'm talking about.
• 26:53
  Samantha Pruitt: I definitely, because we laughed before we started this morning.
• 26:56
  Samantha Pruitt: I said check out all this gray hair I have here.
• 26:58
  Samantha Pruitt: At some point I might resolve that Um, we're on YouTube yeah, I should be like most people would not be showing up.
• 27:05
  Samantha Pruitt: I'm showing up.
• 27:07
  Samantha Pruitt: Listen, people, this is who I am.
• 27:08
  Samantha Pruitt: I'm 55.
• 27:10
  Polly Mertens: I have some gray hair, so yeah, yeah, we don't have perfect eyebrows and lips and breasts and flat bellies and stuff, and it's like and if that's what matters to you, then no fucks, given, it doesn't matter to us.
• 27:24
  Polly Mertens: Not our, not our tribe, not not our.
• 27:27
  Samantha Pruitt: Pro Right People drive crappy cars because no fucks, given they're, you know they're investing that money in other things experiences or whatever People choose to live in tiny homes versus mega McMansions, because it's different values.
• 27:44
  Samantha Pruitt: We're all entitled to that.
• 27:45
  Samantha Pruitt: We're not saying placing good or bad.
• 27:47
  Samantha Pruitt: We're just saying however you want to do, it is how you should do it.
• 27:53
  Samantha Pruitt: Yes, yeah, that is the bottom line.
• 27:56
  Polly Mertens: On this out with yourself.
• 27:58
  Polly Mertens: So the liberation, the no fucks given, is what other people think.
• 28:02
  Polly Mertens: But the most important decision maker, and the one who's guiding the ship, I hope, is the one whose body and life you're living right, and so that's where you check in that you give a fuck about what he or she says.
• 28:15
  Polly Mertens: You don't give a fuck about what he or she says.
• 28:16
  Polly Mertens: You don't give a fuck about what other people say.
• 28:18
  Polly Mertens: It's what do you think?
• 28:19
  Polly Mertens: What matters to you?
• 28:21
  Samantha Pruitt: So what I put is not needing to not needing or wanting.
• 28:27
  Samantha Pruitt: Not needing or wanting others' opinions or expectations to guide my dreams and my life.
• 28:36
  Samantha Pruitt: I do not need that and I do not want that.
• 28:39
  Samantha Pruitt: I will do that work myself.
• 28:42
  Polly Mertens: Mm-hmm, you know, and before we hit record, one of the things I was saying in alignment, that is like it's, it's our life, right, we're the storyteller, we're the creator of this life, we're the actor in this movie.
• 28:56
  Polly Mertens: By the way, like this, this is this is your life.
• 29:00
  Samantha Pruitt: We're the author of this book.
• 29:01
  Polly Mertens: We're the author of this book, right?
• 29:02
  Polly Mertens: And?
• 29:03
  Polly Mertens: And if you, I just want to remind you to look where the want to remind you to look where the guidance most likely for the joyful path, for the purposeful path, for the aligned path for you, it's inside you, right, it's not outside of ourselves.
• 29:19
  Polly Mertens: And this is us talking about this and just remind people if you've been, you know, looking outside, or if you've been feeling like you're looking outside, or if you've been feeling some sort of external pressure or responsibility and it just you feel the weight of it, right, you're like why does this even matter?
• 29:36
  Polly Mertens: Why am I caring about this?
• 29:38
  Polly Mertens: Like, like, who gives up?
• 29:40
  Polly Mertens: Right?
• 29:41
  Polly Mertens: Like?
• 29:42
  Samantha Pruitt: yeah, it's no fucks given.
• 29:43
  Polly Mertens: We're just here to go.
• 29:44
  Polly Mertens: Amen.
• 29:45
  Polly Mertens: High five, like, yeah, give that up, like tune back into you and let them do them.
• 29:51
  Polly Mertens: You do you and let them do them.
• 29:53
  Samantha Pruitt: Right, exactly, exactly.
• 29:55
  Samantha Pruitt: Yeah, your own ship people.
• 29:58
  Polly Mertens: All good, all good.
• 29:59
  Polly Mertens: So freedom, fun, no fucks given.
• 30:03
  Polly Mertens: If there was, if there was a three thing for everyday awesome project, that's kind of like that would be it.
• 30:10
  Polly Mertens: We might put it on a button or a bumper sticker soon.
• 30:13
  Polly Mertens: Stay tuned.
• 30:15
  Samantha Pruitt: Or at least a shirt, right?
• 30:17
  Samantha Pruitt: Yes, can you see me showing up to, or you, the next boardroom or the next, whatever we're like, so anyway.
• 30:28
  Polly Mertens: You can't see me if you're not watching this audio, you won't see it, but it's like I had to wear some color today.
• 30:33
  Polly Mertens: I was like I gotta get my, my, my crazy little earrings out and my, my colorful shirt, um, because I was like we're talking about fun and free and no fucks given.
• 30:40
  Polly Mertens: I'm like triple f, triple f, baby, a little more play, a little more play, right.
• 30:45
  Polly Mertens: And so you know we're not trying to push this on anyone.
• 30:48
  Polly Mertens: We're more of an invitation to come out and play with us, like I'm a pusher.
• 30:52
  Samantha Pruitt: I'm pushing it on them.
• 30:54
  Samantha Pruitt: Listen, build the muscles.
• 30:55
  Samantha Pruitt: Excuse me, flex it and build those muscles, the triple F muscles.
• 31:00
  Samantha Pruitt: I want to see a gun show.
• 31:01
  Samantha Pruitt: Yeah, okay, you're much gentler than me.
• 31:04
  Samantha Pruitt: Go ahead.
• 31:04
  Polly Mertens: Well, I just think everyone's got their, like I said, the queen's qualities.
• 31:08
  Samantha Pruitt: Maybe your quality isn't all three of them.
• 31:11
  Polly Mertens: That's cool, but I have a feeling you giving yourself more permission where it really matters to you is really what we're getting at right, like what matters to you, whatever that is, if it's these three or if you've got your own list of values.
• 31:23
  Polly Mertens: The core message here is remind yourself you don't need a permission slip from us.
• 31:28
  Polly Mertens: You don't need a permission slip from us.
• 31:29
  Polly Mertens: You don't need a permission slip to live those from anyone and anyone that says that they're probably not your tribe, probably not your family, right, like, just wake up and give it to yourself.
• 31:38
  Polly Mertens: You don't need it.
• 31:39
  Samantha Pruitt: Move out of any world where permission slips are a thing.
• 31:42
  Samantha Pruitt: Okay, they should never have existed.
• 31:45
  Samantha Pruitt: I don't care if it was elementary school or whatever.
• 31:48
  Samantha Pruitt: If I ever had to go to the bathroom, I'm going.
• 31:53
  Samantha Pruitt: Okay, we should have never put permission slips.
• 31:54
  Samantha Pruitt: It shouldn't even be a thing in the dictionary.
• 31:55
  Samantha Pruitt: No doubt?
• 31:55
  Samantha Pruitt: No, all right, let's close.
• 31:56
  Samantha Pruitt: What's our takeaway for these?
• 31:57
  Polly Mertens: games.
• 31:57
  Polly Mertens: Well, it's.
• 31:58
  Polly Mertens: It's really that underlying.
• 32:00
  Polly Mertens: You don't need permission to live.
• 32:03
  Polly Mertens: You don't need permission to live the way that you want to live.
• 32:06
  Polly Mertens: You and I are big believers and breeders of the message of like this is one life you've got.
• 32:12
  Polly Mertens: You're the actor in the movie this is your life.
• 32:15
  Polly Mertens: We want you to just get about what's most important to you, and if it's fun and freedom and no fucks given, great.
• 32:21
  Polly Mertens: If it's something else, great, Right.
• 32:23
  Polly Mertens: What do you say on that, my dear?
• 32:30
  Samantha Pruitt: I'm going to just add to that.
• 32:32
  Samantha Pruitt: I want people right now, as soon as this comes to a conclusion, to start microdosing the three F's.
• 32:36
  Samantha Pruitt: Okay, so you can just pepper it ever so gingerly into your environment on the daily and just start putting it in.
• 32:43
  Samantha Pruitt: You will see it will grow and eventually you'll get more comfortable with it and your environment, the people, the places, whatever you go to, will become more comfortable with you operating in this way and it'll become normal and acceptable.
• 32:58
  Samantha Pruitt: At first it's awkward, you know.
• 33:00
  Samantha Pruitt: You're a little bit like a teenager with your changing attitude every day of the week because your hormones are crazy or no menopausal female where they're like who's she gonna show up, like today.
• 33:08
  Samantha Pruitt: But if you start micro dosing it, yeah, it can be subtle.
• 33:14
  Polly Mertens: Yeah, let's do it, yeah, yeah, step into this.
• 33:16
  Polly Mertens: You know, samantha, would be like god, just jump in.
• 33:20
  Polly Mertens: You know, like like, rip the band-aid off, right, all good, you, you, you got to do it at whatever level feels good to you, but please take from this.
• 33:29
  Polly Mertens: It's time to start doing.
• 33:30
  Polly Mertens: If you've heard this, this was meant for you to hear this and it's your reminder.
• 33:34
  Polly Mertens: Yeah, get out there, have more fun, have a lot of fun.
• 33:37
  Polly Mertens: You know, set yourself free, liberate yourself, liberate your soul and goddamn, but no fucks given like only one life.
• 33:44
  Polly Mertens: You know there's no do-over, right?
• 33:46
  Polly Mertens: This is it?
• 33:47
  Polly Mertens: So?
• 33:47
  Polly Mertens: This is it All right, let's remind them of our favorite things.
• 33:53
  Polly Mertens: What do we want to tell them today that we always tell them to remember?
• 33:57
  Samantha Pruitt: Well, this is so appropriate for this topic, but how your life feels is more important than how it looks.
• 34:06
  Polly Mertens: Yeah, and every day is your opportunity to find your awesome.