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Larry Wilson Reveals How to Live Your Life in 3D #5 · How To Talk To Humans

• 0:03
  Larry Wilson: Hi, this is Larry Wilson and this is how to talk to humans. This is the podcast that shows you how to improve your communication skills. Are you looking to get a better job?
• 0:15
  Larry Wilson: Are you looking to find a relationship? Are you trying to do things in your life that have frustrated you and eluded you so far, I can show you so easily how to change that. Now, I can only do it with humans. If you're looking to deal with vampires or zombies, extraterrestrial, this is not the show for you. But if you're really looking to improve your communication skills, I can show you what I've learned from 40 years in show business, working with the biggest celebrities and superstars in the world. And their secrets are unbelievable.
• 0:54
  Larry Wilson: What I'm going to be teaching you during this course of this podcast every week, are tools that you can use to communicate toward success. In this week show I want to continue with some of the practical hands on applications of techniques that you can use and Wilson methods.
• 1:16
  Larry Wilson: We've talked in other places about some other things like the three C's. Today, I want to talk about the three Ds that are determined, define and deploy.
• 1:34
  Larry Wilson: As always, I want to give you this so that you have a touchstone so that if you think, Wait, there was something he was talking about, and you can Oh, that's right, three Ds, easier, because it suggests something in 3d. It's a mnemonic device that conjures up a picture that you can remember, 3d, I think we'd all like to live our lives in 3d. I want you to use Wilson method to live your life in HD.
• 2:07
  Larry Wilson: So that colors are brighter, the experiences are more vivid, that all of your life is more enjoyable and a real joy to experience on a day to day level. That's what I found, these techniques can deliver for you. The three Ds, determine define, deploy, we want to begin in every communication by determining what our goal is.
• 2:46
  Larry Wilson: Now, at the risk of sounding ridiculous, I should point out, I don't mean that when you go in to order lunch someplace, you have to do this, although you can. And you may find it to be a much more enjoyable lunch. But I'm usually referring to things that involve your business dealings or financial pursuits, or personal matters with your family or friends. These are all extremely valuable and easily accessed, you can use them easily. If you determine what it is you want to accomplish, in this particular communication, automatically, your success rate shoots up, way up. Now, again, sometimes I say things like this, people think, well, that's ridiculous. You know, I mean, so obvious, of course, you may say that consciously. But if you start to take this training seriously, you'll start to see all around you where people go into communication, and haven't given a moment's thought to what their goal is. They think, well, I know how to talk, so it'll all be fine. And they shoot from the hip, like a gunslinger. Well, perhaps you may realize that gunslingers die young. It's exciting for a short period of time, but there's always a younger, faster gun. The people who I met all through my life, people who are millionaires or billionaires, people who want Academy Awards, people who succeeded at the highest levels.
• 4:45
  Larry Wilson: I think of a couple of guys, I know who you'll never know their names, because they aren't famous, but they're hugely successful. One is a guy in involved with the generators that are used in places and portable tools. Another guy's involved with the mortgages and refinancing. But I saw the tools they used in communication, I saw how they made themselves impossible to ignore. And one of the ways they were doing it was that in go into a communication shooting from the hip, they had a very clearly determined goal.
• 5:33
  Larry Wilson: The goal could be, I want a raise. That's a goal. The goal could be I want a date. That's a goal. The goal could be I want to negotiate a new price with this vendor for this service are good. These are all fine goals.
• 5:55
  Larry Wilson: When you don't determine your goal in advance, you're all over the place. And what that means is frequently, the recipient of your communication is left having to randomly pick what they think was going on. They might pick the right thing.
• 6:18
  Larry Wilson: Hallelujah. If that happens, it just hasn't been my experience that that usually happens. They wind up with some crazy thing that's nothing new. As usual with me, it reminds me of a show business story. I had a friend who is very famous, and I won't use his name because I don't have permission to cite that here. But he was in a meeting of very, very high powered, tell television executives, very successful. You can tell I'm speaking obliquely about this, I'm trying to circle around so I don't make this obvious who the various different villains and heroes are, but successful, very, hugely successful.
• 7:04
  Larry Wilson: Television, producer and executive. And this friend of mine told me this story, because a mutual friend showed up in this meeting. He said, You know, this guy's so Dynam very well.
• 7:22
  Larry Wilson: He said that the big kahuna executive of this meeting, couldn't get any bigger, I think in television. Somehow, this guy I knew had set up a meeting, they'd asked him to review this script for some show, whether it was a movie or TV I shot in Michigan. And he was coming in to give them his notes and ideas and opinions. And the big kahuna said, so you know, what do you think? And you know, everybody in the room is thinking, yeah, he's gonna say, Oh, he was genius. You're a genius and fantastic. And I love you and everything you've ever done.
• 8:06
  Larry Wilson: You're so smart. And he's this guy I knew, said the mutual friend of ours came and said, I think it has a lot of problems.
• 8:15
  Larry Wilson: And he said, the room went silent. In showbusiness, you aren't always rewarded for telling the truth. You know, a lot of people have asked me over the years, why would George Lucas put that Jar Jar Binks in that Star Wars movie? I said, Cuz nobody was gonna say to him, I hate this character. It's George Lucas's baby, you want to go to him and say, Oh, that's an ugly baby, you have your baby woof. I've never seen such a horrible, no one's going to do that in show business. There's literally hundreds of millions of dollars at stake. Even if the baby is really ugly, you don't want to be the one to point it out. So it's not uncommon for people to keep that to themselves. So these people in this meeting, my friend was telling about we're surprised when our mutual friend just came out and said, there's a lot of problems. And so the big kahuna was very interested said, really tell me and this mutual friend began to enumerate point by point all and and my friend was saying, You saying yeah, Guy was right. Everything is pointed?
• 9:38
  Larry Wilson: Absolutely right. He was saying, the show isn't going to work because of this. And because of this, and you got this problem here and this and he went through all of them. And he said, The Big Kahuna was clearly impressed. And he said, The Big Shot guy in the meeting said, What would you do to fix this?
• 10:02
  Larry Wilson: And he said this mutual friend of ours froze. He clearly had not thought about his goal. He's said, I, I do. I have to think about it and get back to you.
• 10:29
  Larry Wilson: And my friend said, he saw opportunity that looked like a stack of $100 bills, with wings on it, just flying away. He said, If that guy had been able to say, I would have done a, b, c, this friend of mine who is telling the story said, it wouldn't even matter if he was right or wrong. If he simply had an idea, everyone in the room would have thought, wow, this guy is a serious player. But he didn't. He thought he'd just come in and shoot from the hip.
• 11:19
  Larry Wilson: It'll be fine. It'll be fine.
• 11:24
  Larry Wilson: I'll just wing it really? Well, that sort of wrapped up the meeting. And he never had access to that huge executive again.
• 11:35
  Larry Wilson: Nothing much happened from this mutual friends career. After that, a few little tiny things.
• 11:40
  Larry Wilson: But he had it in his hand, the keys to the kingdom. Let me ask you this, if you're listening to me. And this may be a bitter pill to swallow, I'm sorry to present this sort of onerous task to you. But have you had this experience? In your life have you have you had an experience where the keys to the kingdom were in your hand, and then you dropped them on the floor? Because you didn't know what to say, Wilson method prevents that from happening.
• 12:23
  Larry Wilson: Because I don't think you should go into a meeting like that, unless you have to determined your goal. The second D, of course, is to define the means of transmission. Now, I think back again to Warren Buffett, in that interview, saying you have these brilliant ideas. But communication is the means by which you transmit those ideas.
• 12:57
  Larry Wilson: If you cannot transmit those ideas, it doesn't matter how smart you are, it doesn't matter how brilliant your ideas are, you must be able to transmit them. So you might be thinking, Well, I'm just gonna say whatever I have to say, Well, you might, but it only takes you a moment to define the specific technique. Are you talking? Are you talking like I'm talking on a podcast? Are you talking on the phone? Are you talking in person? Are you talking on Zoom?
• 13:46
  Larry Wilson: These are all different. And they frequently employed different techniques to be the most effective. You can be. Or maybe they're not talking at all. Maybe they're written?
• 14:03
  Larry Wilson: Well, are they a text that you're sending? Is it an email?
• 14:08
  Larry Wilson: Is it God forbid? An old school handwritten letter? Let me tell you something, as an aside here, do not discount the enormous power of the old school handwritten note. It is huge, has huge impact. There is a non discursive message that comes through. I've I've referred frequently during these podcast episodes, to semiotic information. That's information that is not spoken. There is a non discursive message when you send someone a handwritten note, can you think What it is, if you just took a moment to imagine, well, people know, it's harder to hand write a note. What does that mean about how you see them? There's a non discursive message that you must place a high value on. Now, if you just write, love, yeah. And then your name, maybe you don't place as high value. But if you write a couple of lines, if you say, I thought about that presentation you made for the board. And I've never seen it done better. I want you to know how much I appreciate all the work you put into this sign with your neighbor, that kind of handwritten note is never going to be thrown away. I have handwritten notes from 3040 years ago, that people wrote me, never going to be thrown away.
• 16:15
  Larry Wilson: That's an authentic bond you've created that's going to stay with them. So all of these things in text, you don't want to use the same way you might use an email. And again, as a parenthetical, I know that it's considered. I only know this because of my teenage son, that it's very uncool to punctuates in text. Well, that may be the popular trend. But I'm not interested in popular trends.
• 16:53
  Larry Wilson: I'm interested in you communicating in a way that makes you impossible to ignore.
• 16:58
  Larry Wilson: That makes people see you and hear you. And punctuation is critical. It's much more important than grammar is I think grammar is important too.
• 17:14
  Larry Wilson: But punctuation. If you say it's time to eat Grandma, you're saying you're telling your grandmother that it's dinnertime. If you say it's time to eat coma, Grandma, that's what you're telling her great grandmother, we're having dinner. If you leave out the coma, you're saying that grandma is going to be the main course.
• 17:43
  Larry Wilson: Now, some of you listening to this are thinking, Oh, no one thinks you're really going to eat your grandmother? No, they don't. But let me tell you what does happen. Every time there's any ambiguity, or lack of clarity in communication, you interrupt the flow. If even for a fraction of a second, you interrupt the flow and decrease the power of your communication.
• 18:18
  Larry Wilson: You know, the most powerful written shortest possible communication might be the stop sign. It's just one word stop.
• 18:28
  Larry Wilson: It's unequivocal. We know exactly what it means. It has the semiotic additional information of the color red and the shape the unusual shape of the sign. By God, it's impossible to misunderstand that no matter what you tell the police officer, it's impossible.
• 18:55
  Larry Wilson: So I would urge you in your texts. I understand. My son tells me sometimes that putting a period at the end is very hostile or aggressive to bad. Do it anyway. Because if someone asked to reread your text three times, to discern the meaning you're shooting yourself in the foot. Better to have them think you're an old fogy? Because you're punctuating, then have them have your communication interrupted. This is why sometimes you'll hear in writing you'll hear in spoken communication. Someone will try to make a joke about something.
• 19:43
  Larry Wilson: But if the joke is unclear, You shot yourself in the foot because now they're not listening to what your message was. We want to connect, communicate and create You're interfering with the communication, if I remember hearing a radio ad for carwash, and they said, doesn't matter if your car's a Yugo, or McLaren F 10, or something. And I thought, Wow, that's a bad commercial, someone didn't listen to it, they wrote it, when they looked at it written, it was fine. But when we hear you say you go, we think you're saying you, meaning the person, I'm speaking to go someplace. Now, after a moment, you back up, and you sort of go, Wait, doesn't matter. If it's you go, Wait, oh, you mean, the car you go, we've missed the rest of your message. We're not listening to your communication.
• 21:02
  Larry Wilson: It's like you coming in to make an important announcement and you're wearing a gorilla suit, we're not going to hear you, we don't get the point of what you're driving it. So defining, the actual means of communication is absolutely critical. We use different tools. And then the third D is deploy. We deploy the tools of Wilson method. And many of these we've talked about already, some of them we're talking today, you know, they can be as simple as the importance of short, decorative sentences. All this means is that we're avoiding run on sentence, I want to tell you about the greatest thing ever, it's called Wilson method, Neverland should use it because you should have better communication. And when you do, you'll be able to have fantastic things in your life. And that blah, blah, blah. It's a run on sentence. We hope that your senses are short and declarative that they have something to say I want to talk to you period, you have an incredible opportunity. If you pay attention to my instructions, period, these are short, decorative sentences, they make it much easier for us to listen to you to get the meaning that you're trying to impart to us.
• 22:46
  Larry Wilson: When you look, for instance, at email, you may find that you have a tendency to link a bunch of different ideas with the word end. I was so happy to see you.
• 23:04
  Larry Wilson: And I hope that we're gonna have a chance to get together at the party next week. And talk about this idea that I told you about.
• 23:12
  Larry Wilson: Well, these are all separate ideas. Much better for you to say, I was so happy to see you, period. I hope to see you at the party next week period. I'd like to talk with you about that idea. These become much easier.
• 23:28
  Larry Wilson: Now. I hope you don't misunderstand. I'm not suggesting that a run on sentence is impossible for someone to understand. But what it is possible to do is miss understand. Because you're throwing so many different ideas off. And when we see a sentence linked with end, because our brains are hardwired to look for patterns. Our first thought is Oh, the second idea is somehow linked to the first idea. If you say I was so pleased to see you, and I hope to see you at the party next week. Well, those ideas are kind of linked. I really enjoyed seeing you. And I hope to see you at the party next week. Oh, because then I'll be able to enjoy seeing you again. Right, those aren't linked. But the third idea of the idea you want to discuss that's not linked to them at all. And when you start to look at your emails as you're writing, you'll find it so easy to do. I'll tell you another thing so easy for you to do.
• 24:43
  Larry Wilson: This isn't this is again, the third D is deploying the tools of Wilson have it. Here's a very simple one in your writing.
• 24:54
  Larry Wilson: Eliminate extraneous words.
• 24:54
  Larry Wilson: Couldn't be easier. If you go back and look at your emails, there's words in there you don't need. I'll tell you one of the most obvious ones is, in my opinion. Well, if you're writing the email, whose opinion Do you think it would be? You must be in your opinion, you don't need to say that. Sometimes, when we create run on sentences, when we use extraneous words, it's because we feel insecure about our communication. If you don't know what your goal is, and you haven't defined the means of transmission, I can understand why you'd feel insecure. You may just be shooting from the hip, you may not have any idea where you're going, the preeminent guilty party of this are politicians. If you watch any kind of news, if you have read anything online, anywhere, politician, you'll hear these demented run on sentences.
• 26:10
  Larry Wilson: Because they don't want to say anything that will offend any potential voter for them. If you're interested in politics, you would do very well to study this carefully, and avoid them.
• 26:26
  Larry Wilson: It is not hard to do, but it takes practice. I'll tell you a extraneous word that we hear in speech all the time. So why do you need to put that word in? A Scott has just introduced me on his podcast show or his interview show. He wants to know about Wilson method. And I start by saying, so Wilson method is you hear this all the time. Now that I've said it, you'll hear it 100 times this week, you'll hear it in conversation. How was your trip up to the cabin? So we all got together? And why do people do this? They do it to buy time. They're afraid. If I don't speak immediately, I look dumb. I'm here to tell you as an authority on communication, you do not look dumb. When you aren't speaking. You look like you're thoughtful. The most obvious way to point this out is that well, I was gonna get ahead of myself, I'll just say this, that when you put in place holder words like so like Well, like I used to know a guy, lovely guy who was so nice. Or he used to do this all. Now there may be people listening to this, and they're gonna know exactly who I'm referring to.
• 28:14
  Larry Wilson: But if you asked him a question about something, I was in a car with him once, and I looked out the window and there were some cows. And I said, I wonder what kind of cows are so all lard.
• 28:27
  Larry Wilson: All grungy cows first dog came to United States dog 1823. All that was his placeholder sound.
• 28:42
  Larry Wilson: I don't think he was even aware he was doing. And I certainly wouldn't. He's a very good sport. And if you heard me doing that, I think he'd laugh. I certainly wouldn't want to hurt anyone's feelings. I'm not making fun of him. It was just a really clear example of someone using space holder. The more of those you can eliminate the smarter you sound. When someone asks you a question, and you don't immediately jump in saying, well, in my opinion, I think it's safe to say as a person who has opinions of their own Windows Ygritte you haven't said anything. And when you start to use those placeholder words, you start to desensitize the listener to your message.
• 29:39
  Larry Wilson: We think, Well, I'm not going to listen until this guy actually says something. So I'm going to check my phone and see what's on my Twitter feed or I'm gonna see if something's on Netflix. You know, we we tune out. Well, we don't ever want that. In Wilson method. This is why I frequently say our pursuit is always clarity. If what you're saying or writing or texting is not clear, it doesn't serve you in communication. And anyone, anyone can master these techniques. Look at your own emails, just for fun. No one ever has to No. Go back and look at them, see what words you can cut out. That's a valuable tool that you can start using today.
• 30:31
  Larry Wilson: This has been Larry Wilson, I want to thank you for spending this time with me. And I hope you found this information useful. If you're looking for more you can find it at the Wilson method.com. There's a ton of stuff there that if you want, you can even speak to me because I'm human. Send me an email at info at Wilson method.com Because I read every single one.
• 31:04
  Larry Wilson: I hope that you will join us next week in this continuing journey. And you'll be with me for the next episode of how to talk to humans.