Latest / Mommywood / Acting like a Mom with Alysha Young

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Acting like a Mom with Alysha Young · Mommywood

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Welcome back to Mommywood, the podcast where we dive into the
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wild, beautiful and sometimes completely crazy world of being
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both a mom and a performer. I am your host Emily, and if
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you've ever found yourself running on coffee, passion and
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the sheer willpower of a sleep deprived parent then you are in
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the right place. On this episode of Mommy Wood, I
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have the pleasure of talking with Alicia Young.
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I am so excited to share this episode because it's so exciting
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because we have a crossover episode.
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We are both posting this episode today because Alicia also has a
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podcast. She has Acting Like a Mom
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podcast where she keeps it real about juggling motherhood and
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the entertainment industry as well.
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You should definitely check out her podcast.
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Make sure you're following her on all the social media
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platforms. She's so lovely.
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I'm so glad we have gotten to know each other and hang out.
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She's awesome. She is also the founder of Love
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Talent Mama. Her and another past mommy would
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guest. Ilia started the maternity and
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Postpartum side of Love Talent Agency, which is so exciting.
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I need to have them both on to talk more about that.
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But I love that she is going out and doing her own thing and be
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doing this amazing thing which is so awesome and so inspiring.
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Obviously she is an actor as well.
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She has 2 little kids. She got 2 under 2 and they are
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so freaking adorable. She has a son and a daughter.
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They're so cute. If you follow her on Instagram,
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you can see some of the amazing ads that they've done together.
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I love it. Also, she she just finds a way
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to to inspire other moms in the industry with her honesty, her
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humor, her heart. She's so open and real and I
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just, I love her. I'm so glad.
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Again, like I said, I'm so glad that we've connected and we're
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both doing this amazing thing. I think it's funny because we're
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both doing a similar thing, so you would think we would be
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competitive with each other, but not at all.
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We're both so supportive. She's been such, such a, a kind
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support for me and I, I really appreciate her.
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And and this episode we're diving into what it means to
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chase your creative dreams while we're raising these tiny humans
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and how she's building a supportive space for moms as
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well. So I am going to be quiet now
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and let you enjoy this wonderful, awesome, so exciting
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episode of Mommy Would with the incredible Alicia Young.
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Oh, also make sure that you listen to this on the Acting
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Like a Mom podcast as well. Give us both reviews, give us
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both listens. Again, we love supporting each
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other, so if you could please support us as well, that would
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be so appreciated. Thank.
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You enjoy. Welcome to the.
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Acting like a mom What? Oh my God, who are you?
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Who are you? What are you doing?
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I'm so excited about this. Me too, Alicia, you have Acting
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Like a Mom podcast. And you have mommy.
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Would Yes, And here we are too. We are doing this and I do want
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to say I actually wanted your name.
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The mommy would. I looked it up and and I saw you
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had it and I was like you have you have the good name you she
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has she got the name. And then I feel like for like a
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week, I was literally just like, all right, at least let it go.
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Just let it go. You're not getting it.
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She's doing it so. Yeah, I, I, I have to thank my
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sister because she came up with it, but I was trying to think of
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any other name besides mommy would because I was like,
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there's got to be something better than that.
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But I. Like.
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Acting like a mom because I feel like it has, it's not to like.
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Right, and that was a really big thing because you don't want to
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because Hollywood, that term is can be cliche or could be this.
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So it was like, but that's why I felt like the mommy would was
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like it was just too perfect to not because I went through lots
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of names and but the acting like a mom was the one that worked
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for me because I felt like I didn't want it to be too on the
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nose of what it was like. I wanted there to be maybe some
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like, because we're all acting like a mom, regardless if you
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were actual actors. I was just thinking.
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Now we're all just like doing our best.
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So I felt like I was like, you know, and a lot of people were
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resonated to it, but I don't know if it was too like cheesy,
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corny, whatever. But then it was like, who cares,
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bro? Because I'm not going to get
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stuck on this name and like, never go because there was
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someone else who had a podcast. There's like one other.
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Yeah, I think it was Camera lights, mom.
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Yeah. And she she did it and I feel
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like she like left. Yeah, and she had some great
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guests on. I don't know if she.
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I think she doesn't need it anymore.
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Yeah, she. Like just I was like you.
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You go, girl. Yes, we love, we love moms.
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And I think I also love that we're doing this together and
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supporting each other because I think it's very easy to be like,
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well, she's doing it well, she's doing it well, and it's like
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there's room. For everyone.
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And I think that was the other thing when I saw yours because
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originally I don't I'm not even a podcast like I don't listen to
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podcasts. That's why I don't think that
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when I was going through everything I was going to
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transitioning and whatever because I sorry, I'm trying to
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think to be able to talk about that like why we started.
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No, no, OK, well, I started because when I got pregnant, it
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was just like a crazy transition.
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And I didn't like, I didn't dream about being like mom or
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like, you know, or any of that growing up.
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So it was a big like adjustment. And I had like a lot of friends
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asking me like, So what is it like?
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What is it like auditioning? What is it like this?
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And I felt like there was these conversations and I felt myself
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gravitating to moms that were in the industry because I was
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really like, hey, what are you doing?
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How do you do it? Like, what are the tricks?
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Like tell me something. And every time I felt like they
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were like giving gems and I was like, someone needs to hear
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this. Like this should be spoken about
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because as we know, having a family in this industry is not,
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it's not really conducive. Like it's not you almost like
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hide it. You almost don't want because it
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changes your image. Well, especially for women
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because I mean, it's definitely getting better in the industry
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where more mature. Our vintage.
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Are working, but you know, before there's like, oh, I'm 30,
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my career is over, which would be the same for having kids.
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If you're like, OK, well, I have kids, my career is over because
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I'm the one who's going to have to.
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Take care. Have the baby and like all of
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this stuff. So there's so much shock about
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it. And man, get a woman talking
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about her kids. I know it's.
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Try and stop. Her it's sick, it's sick.
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That's why that's The thing is like, what are you good at
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talking about my kids talking about and it's like it's but
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it's it's it's interesting. And I think that the more that
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we talk about it, the less taboo it is like it doesn't have to be
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the end of your career. Like there's so much more and it
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gives you, you know, gone are the days where it's like I had
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to give up my dream to have you. Like we're not giving up our
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dreams, you know, like we just, I got to figure it out.
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And I think like platforms like this and talking about it and
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people sharing is like such a great way to like, I don't know,
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normalize it and and make it that way.
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I think it's just helpful. Yeah, I started it started Mommy
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would when I think May my daughter who's almost 3 when she
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was like 2 months old, which now looking back, I'm like what?
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Why and? Now I'm like, did I come up with
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the idea after I was pregnant or before and then recorded?
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I don't, I don't even know because obviously like that's a
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total blur. But yeah, I was like, OK, you
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see big celebrities that have kids.
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Great. I know the kind of how they're
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doing that They have lots of resources.
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And by resources, I mean money. And so not to say that they
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don't have heart. Yeah.
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And I would love to talk to more women who are like, so
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successful because we all have problems and difficulties.
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But I was like, there have to be people in my position that are
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paying rent, having day jobs, figuring it out and not near
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where they want to be. And how are they dealing with
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like paying for stuff and child care and all of things that
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we're going to talk? About, Yeah, yeah, exactly.
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Because it's it's hard. And I think that it's great that
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we talk about it because it's also, we have guests and
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everyone has like different stories or different things that
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can help because like, oh, I never thought about that.
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Oh, I never thought about that. So I definitely think, yeah.
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Yeah. And it's always interesting,
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like you said, with different guests, like things that they
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worried about or that they, you know, had fears or not fears or,
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you know, every mom were can worry about different things.
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Yeah, yeah, yeah. Where it's like other people
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don't care, like taking your kids to auditions or not.
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Like that's I feel like a big thing because Aaliyah, who was
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also in your episode and she was online, she was so, So just take
10:53
them. And I was like, what do you
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mean? Just take them?
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Yeah. Like, and she's like, they're
10:56
fine. And I'm like, it gives me
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anxiety because I feel like I can't quite.
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But also that was like, so long. Now I'm better.
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When I had her on. Was that my second kid that I
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was pregnant? Like I shot it during my while I
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was. I came up with the idea while I
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was pregnant, Right. I shot it while I was pregnant
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but it didn't come out for a whole year.
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After yes, yes, yes. Your first season you were
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pregnant. OK.
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Yeah, with my second. OK.
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Yeah, see what? But OK, so Speaking of your kids
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are close in age and close, what are their names in age?
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Harlow and Harper Harlow is 2, Harper is 1.
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Wild Girl. And Harlow is a boy.
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Yeah, Harlow is a boy. Harper's a girl.
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So I have a boy and a girl and I'm done.
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But I was done anyways. Like he was two boys.
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I was still done. Like, I feel like we had the
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first one for us. And then when I really, I wanted
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zero, then I wanted one when I have my husband.
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I was like, you could be a good dad.
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Like I say, we do this. And then when I saw my son, I
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was like, no, he needs a friend cuz we have siblings.
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Do you have siblings? I do, yeah.
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And it's just like your sister came up with a name.
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Yeah. It's just, we just really wanted
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them to have it. And so I went in with a blur and
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I even told my husband I was like just knocked me up when I'm
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like barely, because if I could get my senses back and if I come
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back, there's no way I'm gonna want to do this again, not to my
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body and all the things. And yeah, I was just like
12:23
wrecked because I was just starting to get back in shape
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and I wasn't, I wasn't ready. I was not ready.
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For the second. For the second, Yeah.
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So when, how did you guys decide for the first?
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So you're also backing up your husband is also an actor?
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Oh yes, my husband is also an actor, as is yours.
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We have so much to talk. I know, I know that That's that,
12:45
that, that that's a whole other thing.
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Yeah. Because I feel like no one wants
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to. Like don't date an actor.
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Like #1 rule don't date an actor and it's.
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Like, I think it's so nice. Yeah, I agree.
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It's way better than I think people would think it is because
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I'm trying to think what the reasons why we wouldn't.
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I think the main reason that people would not want 2 actors
13:12
is because you don't want you. You don't want to both be
13:15
unemployed all the time. Yeah, Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah,
13:18
yeah, that's true. The finance because.
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It's like, yeah, if, if my husband was, but you know, but
13:24
you can get fired from any job at any point.
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And that's the thing I mean, but especially.
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Now I know I. Know everyone's on the cutting,
13:33
cutting block, but I think that it kind of forced like the
13:40
things that you no matter what's the character of the person, is
13:43
it a hard working person, regardless if they're a dad or
13:46
not, and regardless if they are financially super stable and all
13:51
these things. Those are those are all things
13:52
to consider. But it's like, but are they
13:54
willing to because there are side jobs, there are side
13:56
hustles and it's like, is this person in the industry that
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you're going to marry? Are do you?
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Can you trust them to do what they have to do when the
14:08
industry is slow? Because as we know right now.
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It's slow. Yeah, like it's just a weird
14:15
time. But you were saying to to make
14:20
sure that they can do what they need to do.
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I mean, that goes for us as well.
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There's a lot of talkers. Yeah, yeah, we need.
14:28
To make sure we can all actually work.
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Yeah, of course. And that's the other thing I
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feel like growing up as well. I never, I always wanted to
14:36
work. I never wanted to be not work
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like I never wanted to be a stay at home like girlfriend, wife,
14:44
mom, nothing. So I always knew that I could in
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the end, I I would be fine and I felt confident, like I'll do
14:50
whatever I have to do. But finding a partner who's also
14:54
just so happens to be in the industry, that's regardless if
14:56
you're an actor or not, like because you could have, you
14:58
could be with someone for lack of a better terms, like a
15:01
deadbeat and you know, not have that.
15:04
So it's like an actor. It's like finding the person in
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their character I think is more important than anything.
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So how did you guys decide to go for the first one I.
15:16
Mean, we just knew we we knew going in that we wanted to have
15:21
it to get, like I said, we when we were together, we dated with
15:24
intention. We knew we wanted to get
15:25
married. We knew we wanted to have kids,
15:28
kid. We knew we wanted to have kid.
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Yes, he wanted more. He's from Atlanta.
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So you know, their their family is first, you know, like, and,
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and that's really important to him.
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And, and so we knew we were going for the first one.
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The first one was a non negotiable.
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The second is when it got a little wonky.
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How did you choose like your timing?
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Because again, you're both actors, so.
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Yeah. For the timing for the first
15:53
one, we just, there is no great time, you know what I'm saying?
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Like I think once we realized that there is no time.
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But now we got married in 20/21, which was supposed to be 2020,
16:06
but it got pushed back because it's 2020.
16:08
And then we decided that January we were like let's just start a
16:13
new year. We just tried in January and got
16:15
pregnant in January and and we had it like we were just like,
16:19
let's go for it. And then we did it.
16:21
Yeah. What about you?
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Did you want to do? You Are you.
16:24
Same, I mean, I also didn't necessarily like dream of being
16:31
a mom. I think it was just always like,
16:33
I mean, I I'll have, I'll have a kid, I'll have a kid or kids or
16:37
whatever. I so I it's the same as like
16:43
getting married. I was never like a dream of my
16:46
wedding day or anything like that, but I was like, oh, I
16:49
mean, I'll, I'll probably get married.
16:52
Like I never had a timeline for myself.
16:54
I feel like people really set themselves up and when they're
16:58
like, my mom was married at 25 and I'm like, that was also a
17:02
million years ago and a different world and being out
17:08
here is a lot different than being in the Midwest.
17:11
Or Atlanta, like you said. But what oh so yes, I we knew we
17:19
wanted kids, kid, and so you want another.
17:24
So that's a whole other episode girlfriend.
17:28
My God, but we I was 34 at the time and I was like both of my
17:38
sisters had as many people do have had a very hard time
17:43
getting pregnant. One of them, one of my sisters,
17:46
eventually, she has two boys now.
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My other sister was never able to make it happen and so I just
17:54
assumed, oh this will probably take a year at least or see how
17:59
it goes. We did have the discussion
18:01
though, that if it doesn't happen on it's naturally it's
18:08
not going to happen and we'll be fine with just the two of us
18:11
because financially, emotionally physical, like I've seen what
18:15
people have been through. I I no, no, thank you.
18:20
So we're like, well, let's just see and I guess And then I was
18:24
like, I took one pregnancy my a test my whole life and it.
18:31
Was positive. Very positive.
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I think it's so interesting. I've I find it funny when I see
18:37
these videos and people are like waiting for the test.
18:41
I'm like I couldn't even pull my pants up before the IT was like
18:44
pregnant. I was like, I peed, set it on
18:48
the counter, put my pants up. Pregnant, so pregnant.
18:52
What did you guys do? Was he like there watching?
18:54
Like where? You I was, I did it a lot.
18:56
And he was in the other room and I was so like this.
19:01
I literally didn't think. And it was the day after I
19:05
missed my period or like yes, I was a day late and I was like, I
19:11
mean, I'm pretty regular, but like I've.
19:13
A. Day after 2 a few days, but I
19:16
was like, Oh my God, Oh my God, Preston Preston and sorry, like
19:22
disagree and he was like what? Thought I got hurt and he was
19:25
like so I have the video of aft of like right?
19:30
After I'm. Like, oh, I wish I would have
19:32
planned ahead and like, done. Set it up.
19:35
But I was so sure that it wasn't going to happen.
19:39
And I think I was just in so much shock.
19:44
And Preston had just like, started getting into audiobooks
19:50
as a narrator because, you know, he he had worked at restaurants.
19:57
And so he completely lost his job and didn't go back to
20:01
waiting, which I think. What is this?
20:04
Are you saying 2020? Like what was the year?
20:06
Was it 2020? Was it 2020?
20:08
No. OK, OK, 20.
20:10
She was born in 22, so this was 21.
20:13
OK, it's when. When he switched to audiobooks
20:16
after he got pregnant. OK, but he that's why he.
20:19
Yeah, so he had just like started getting work ish.
20:23
And so he was just figuring out essentially like a new career, a
20:28
day job career. And so he was like, Oh yeah.
20:34
So that was tough for him. I.
20:39
The pressure of it. Yeah, I was still teaching,
20:45
which I still AM. And so I taught until like a
20:49
week before. Yeah, I stopped nannying about
20:53
two months before because my patience was going to roll them.
20:57
And I was like, I need to save this for my own child.
21:01
So I'm gonna need, I'm gonna go where everything the kids would
21:04
do, cute or not cute, I was like, stupid.
21:07
This is I wanna just die. Yeah, I think this is stupid.
21:11
I need to go. Yeah.
21:12
So, so yeah, I was like, that was our OK journey, I thought.
21:18
I thought it would take a long time.
21:20
Same. Same I thought I was like cuz I
21:22
was older too I think I was 32 or whatever.
21:25
Yeah, cuz how old are you now? You're a little bit younger than
21:27
me. 37. OK, I just turned 38.
21:30
OK, last. Week so I've been trying to
21:33
figure this out. I'm like 37, but I think I was
21:36
32 and I had I I just thought that it I just knew it was
21:42
there's this stigma about having kids later.
21:45
So I was like, well, there's no way that I'm about to have this,
21:50
this kid. The first time we tried and I
21:51
was like, all right, cool, here we are.
21:53
So, so we definitely had the baby and then and it was great.
21:56
The first is bliss. You know, everything's bliss.
21:58
And I think that's why it was great.
22:01
And that's why I think I was nervous with the second one
22:04
because ignorance is bliss. And the first one, you're
22:06
literally just like, what are they going to talk?
22:08
Like, what are they going to sound like?
22:09
What are they going to, you know, like all these, what are
22:10
these? And for the second one, it's
22:12
like, I know, I know how late a mistake.
22:14
I know how it could affect like our relationship.
22:17
And it's like it affects your relationship and, and, and we're
22:21
in the trenches. That was the other reason why I
22:23
did the podcast when I did it, because I was like, I'm not
22:25
going to remember these feelings, these emotions.
22:29
And it's even like looking back like the first season when I was
22:32
like pregnant, I'm like, you know, life is just so hard.
22:35
You know, it's like, but I just wanted to be real because I'm
22:37
like, there's somebody who he's going to empathize, understand
22:41
this and it's going to be relatable.
22:43
I don't want, it's not always pretty.
22:45
And there's this idea of like a beautiful motherhood and that's
22:48
just so simple and beautiful. But it's like, you know, in
22:53
social media, that has a big part to do with that because
22:57
don't we all aspire to be like the perfect parent or, you know,
23:01
So I think that the second time around, it just made me nervous
23:04
because I knew that it wasn't, you know.
23:08
So you were less chill the second one.
23:11
Oh, that's interesting because I feel like I wish I could, I wish
23:16
my daughter was just like already the second because I
23:20
feel like I was so like, we didn't take her out all that
23:24
much. Like we all of these things
23:27
which she never got sick. So I guess that works out.
23:30
But but yeah. And so so you how is being
23:37
pregnant with such a young? Yeah, that was really hard.
23:40
It was like, I would not recommend it.
23:43
I wouldn't recommend doing 202. I do think having two kids is
23:47
great, and this is obviously my personal experience.
23:49
I feel like sometimes when I say this, it makes me feel bad
23:52
because some people like, oh, what's it that hard?
23:54
I'm like, yes, yes. It was like, this has been the
23:57
hardest. I feel like you have to go
23:59
through it to know it and you don't have to go through it if
24:01
you don't have to go through it. Like to me, I think waiting to
24:05
try and get pregnant, like when they're like 2-3, you know,
24:08
like, but we got pregnant when he was 10 months.
24:11
So it was just really close my emotion, you know, like and they
24:15
say it takes you what, 18 months for your body to recover.
24:18
And I was two months, you know, so my emotions are all over the
24:21
place. And I think it was more so just
24:23
like I was worried about my career that I think that was a
24:26
big thing too, because I was like, I was just getting back to
24:29
work. I was just getting my physique
24:32
back enough to where I was starting to feel a little
24:35
comfortable. And I just remember I, I cried.
24:38
I can wear real pants maybe? Maybe I've been in like nursing
24:42
clothes for like 3 years straight like and you know, I
24:45
just, it's just your sense of identity.
24:48
And I even feel like, you know, me and my husband, we were like
24:50
on this like health thing. And I just remember I looked at
24:52
him. I'm like, you're going to be in
24:54
shape and I'm going to be fat again and it just like it just
24:57
hurt because it's like you work so hard and all these things,
25:00
but it's it's a mindset. You know, I could have probably
25:02
did things to like, you know, do do better, but I think just I
25:06
just knew what was coming and and it was hard.
25:09
This was a hard year. And then, you know, when my
25:11
daughter was born. Now that is my girl like that.
25:17
She's. They're both.
25:19
So beautiful. I love them.
25:21
They're so cute. He he's a boy, a boy, we'll say,
25:26
we'll say he's a boy, a toddler boy.
25:29
And I don't recommend that either.
25:30
But like that sounds like girls and boys don't have the same
25:35
because a lot of my friends have girls daughters and I'm like,
25:38
how are you? Are you OK?
25:39
And they're like, yeah, it's fine.
25:40
You know, we're up a little bit, but it's fine.
25:42
I'm like, we just had different experiences.
25:44
Like boys are truly not good for the week so.
25:48
Yeah. I mean, I fear that if if we
25:53
were to try to have a second one, I'm like, I see, here's the
25:57
thing that I'm like 5050. I don't know if I'm 5050, but
26:05
obviously so many pros and cons to choosing to have another one
26:10
or not, but I'm like, do I want to risk because she's been such
26:15
an easy just like that's crazy just with me.
26:18
And I feel like I have to say like, how very lucky I've been
26:22
and I don't want to like rub it in anybody's.
26:26
Face rub it, but I. Didn't I didn't deal with any
26:29
postpartum I breastfeeding was easy beautiful.
26:33
She's did sleep training four months, like she's she never got
26:38
sick. Listen, she broke her arm when
26:40
she was 2. But like, that's what we got.
26:43
And I'm like, I don't want to risk anything.
26:49
Like that's so hard to like do I want to risk having?
26:52
Because what's the chances? That any issues, like the chance
26:55
that I had literally no problems is, I mean, the birth was
27:01
traumatic, but that's gonna be traumatic anyway.
27:04
Yeah, but I'm like risking it and then risking it might be a
27:08
boy. I know there's so much you don't
27:10
know. It's not like the probability
27:12
changes. Yeah, It's like, not like the
27:14
probability changes. Like, oh, because you had a
27:16
girl. So it's like you're literally
27:18
starting. It's literally just 5050,
27:19
whether it's gonna be a boy or a girl.
27:21
And then their temperament, like all the kids are different.
27:23
Like my kids are completely different, everything about
27:25
them. You just.
27:28
Never know. No, but so OK.
27:31
So Speaking of your husband also being an actor and you were
27:34
saying changing the relationship once you have kids, How, how,
27:41
how did it? How did it change your?
27:46
Let's see, I feel like the biggest things that changed for
27:52
us was we were just surviving. And I think that we, you know,
28:03
it was the roommate phase for sure.
28:07
Because you're tired. Like one kid is fine, two kids
28:15
is different. It's just different.
28:18
No one before it's like we get a break.
28:20
You get a break. It's it's no tag to me.
28:22
It's literally it's divide and conquer.
28:24
Yeah, it's divide and conquer. Like I always was with her and
28:27
he was with, you know, like him, like we just divide and conquer.
28:30
So you almost feel like a single parent.
28:31
So it's just this like it's hard and and we just had to give each
28:36
other a lot of grace. And I think right now we're
28:38
maybe getting out of the space now we're we're, you know, going
28:44
back to our old self. But I think it was challenging
28:46
because it's just like everything is irritating and
28:50
everything like, I just want you to do it like this.
28:52
I want you to do it my way. And then it's also like raising
28:54
your kids and how we're going to do it.
28:56
And you know, like telling them no or, or, you know, just, it's
29:00
a whole you, you just in general, no matter what have to
29:04
relearn your like your person because you guys are going into
29:09
a different stage together where you both have never experienced.
29:12
So it was like it challenged our just our relationship in the way
29:18
of like becoming roommates, learning how to give each other
29:21
grace. But then I think there was
29:22
sometimes where like we were both tapped out giving each
29:24
other grace. And I was like, well, today I
29:26
got time, you know, and it's just like, OK, well, what about
29:29
this? You don't leave this, you leave
29:30
that, you know, and it's just like we would have these
29:32
explosions. But I feel like the one thing
29:34
that we did well with this is we moved on quickly.
29:40
Like before, before kids, it was like a grudge.
29:43
A grudge. It's like, I'm not talking to
29:44
you. I'm not talking like we have to
29:45
talk to each other. So it's just like we have to
29:48
talk to each other. Yeah, yeah.
29:51
You guys. Yeah, I guess we.
29:56
And it was great. It was great too.
29:58
Don't don't feel like because mine was.
30:00
No, no, no. We had a hard time at the
30:02
beginning because like I said, he was just starting this like
30:06
new career, new job. And so he was stressed beyond
30:12
and I, he's and we've both talked about how we both have
30:15
very, very capable husbands, dads, like they're amazing.
30:24
But either way you slice it, it's different For the mom and
30:29
I, There was a point where we had a very real conversation and
30:38
I had to be like, you have to stop because we had had the
30:44
conversation of like, I don't want her to hear.
30:46
And not to say that no kid should ever hear their parents
30:49
argue or talk about finances or stress, but I was like, she's
30:53
brand new. If you're only talking about
30:58
stressful things and and he's very like, he needs to talk it
31:03
out. And I'm very like you've said
31:06
it. Let's.
31:06
Move on. And so that's kind of always a
31:10
constant. I mean, that's that's, that's
31:12
just a relationship with. Regardless, But we did have the
31:15
conversation where I was like, I think it was probably around.
31:20
No, it could have been two months, maybe like 2 weeks where
31:22
I was like, this is not fun. You are ruining this.
31:26
You are ruining this time. You are losing this time.
31:29
I was like, you're ruining this for me.
31:31
You're you're taking it away from yourself.
31:36
I was like, I know you're stressed, but you need to shut
31:39
the fuck up. Yes.
31:40
I was like, I don't, I don't. We can't like.
31:44
We can't. I was like, of course there's
31:46
like, well, should I just keep it to myself and bottle up?
31:49
And I was like, yes, yes, please and thank you.
31:52
I know. Like right now.
31:54
And I'm like breastfeeding her. This is all.
31:57
And I'm not a huge woo woo person, but I was like, no.
32:01
I can't transfer. Yeah, You're gonna, you're gonna
32:03
transfer to me. I'm gonna transfer to her.
32:05
And like, at least right now, in this moment, like, we'll get
32:08
back to it. But like, right now.
32:10
Yeah. Actually, I do want you to not
32:11
talk. Yeah, I was like, I need you.
32:13
And it was just like that. I was like, I need you to shut
32:16
up. Yeah.
32:17
I need you to go away and shut up.
32:19
And I mean, it was definitely a longer conversation.
32:22
Than that of course, but essentially Cliff notes.
32:24
That's that's what it was. And he was, yeah.
32:30
Yeah. And all of that and things have
32:34
obviously worked. Out yeah, it worked out because
32:35
I feel like men I feel like men also have a different.
32:39
Their stress is different in this because the general thing
32:43
is the man and the provider in this and obviously we're both
32:46
working and they they know that whatever.
32:47
But I do think, you know, they do have that extra pressure to
32:52
provide for the families and I'm sure in his situations that.
32:55
So it's like I'm trying to, I'm trying to understand you, but
32:57
like, I can't right now. Yeah.
32:58
And I will. We'll talk about it later, move
33:01
on another time. Yeah, and so do you.
33:04
You and your, you and your audition.
33:06
You and your husband audition together with the kids.
33:10
Yes we do. We do a little bit of
33:12
everything. We sprinkle it and dabble it and
33:15
all the things we've we've never booked something all together.
33:20
I think like I've booked with Harper, I've booked with Harlow,
33:24
I've booked with Jordan. Like it's we've never booked out
33:27
for it. That'll be fun.
33:28
But we have had a couple auditions group wise and that's
33:34
that's interesting. I mean, those are easier.
33:36
I would rather all of us than two of us, because Jordan and I
33:39
had an audition that we had to shoot together the other day and
33:43
we like almost lost our minds because yeah, you know, we.
33:49
So we put one in one room, one in the other and we like put
33:52
Miss Rachel on for her because she likes it more.
33:54
Like we need, we need you to, we need them to be quiet, you know,
33:57
so it's like. And they're not sleeping at the
33:59
same time, are they? No.
34:01
Tell me again how? They are.
34:03
They're asleep. Two and.
34:04
Two and one, one and two. Yeah, My God.
34:07
So she's 2 naps, even though she's fighting for a second and
34:10
he has one. There's always someone.
34:12
There's pretty much starting from like 10:30 eleven.
34:16
There's always someone, you're putting someone to sleep,
34:21
someone's waking up, someone's going to sleep, someone's waking
34:23
up, someone's going to sleep. So it's like these like little,
34:25
little windows of time where they're awake.
34:28
So we have like. Both sleep through the night.
34:31
Yes, they do. They do.
34:34
But then by the time, if you're going to do an audition at night
34:36
or. So we also use her room for
34:41
where we shoot like. But they got 2 separate rooms.
34:45
Technically we have a kid room and then we have like the room
34:51
where we shoot our auditions and her crib is in there.
34:54
So it's like there's nothing else in there kid wise, just her
34:57
crib just so that they don't sleep in the same room.
35:00
But that's where we whatever. So it's like figuring that out
35:03
because it's like he's his room is right next to ours and he's
35:06
like and we're like, so we have to like we're waiting for the
35:10
sleep and we're just like, hi, my name is Alicia.
35:13
You know, like, and it's like, it's got to be quick and that
35:15
that's hard because I feel like, and she gets attached.
35:18
So we had to like, hold her. I had to hold her into the last
35:20
minute to put her in the chair. And we're trying to, like,
35:22
discuss because it was a script. It was dialogue.
35:25
So we're like trying to do it. And he's over there doing his,
35:27
like, tongue twisters, like brown cow.
35:29
Brown cow. Yeah.
35:31
And I'm like, oh, baby, baby. And he's like in the other room.
35:34
Yeah. Yeah.
35:34
And it was just like, how are we going to shoot this audition?
35:37
Like, it was, it was for sure. And after we were done and we
35:41
got done, I looked at him and I was like, I love you.
35:44
I'm grateful for you. We're doing this, OK?
35:46
And it was just like, yeah, so that's that.
35:49
That's amazing. Do you guys audition together?
35:53
We do. We did a couple or a few with
35:58
May when she was little and then we've also never booked anything
36:04
as a couple, though we don't have this trap.
36:11
It's me. No, No, no, no, no.
36:12
No, I'll take it because I I'm just weird with him where I'm
36:17
like I'm about to share a blooper blooper reel cuts of we
36:25
had a audition we had to do the other day too.
36:29
I'm wondering if. It's I was.
36:30
Why was it this time? Yeah, yes, I was I.
36:35
Was yeah, it's. The same one.
36:36
OK, well, hopefully one of us. Oh my God, that's so funny.
36:42
We're doing it. And he like, there's one
36:45
blooper, he comes and he's like puts his hand on my back.
36:47
And I was like, you don't have to touch me.
36:50
Let the man touch you. I'm.
36:54
So weird. I don't know.
36:57
I do you think? It's you, not him?
36:58
Or is it like? Or is it just?
37:00
Like, I don't know, I feel like he's in my space and I'm like, I
37:07
don't know what it is because I also don't like him being my
37:11
reader. He is, He is.
37:14
And I'll be like, you're giving too much.
37:17
Just say. The line and he's like, well, I
37:20
want to give you and I'm like, no.
37:22
Wow. Please don't.
37:24
Opposite. I'm like, can you please not?
37:27
I'm like, can you just? Say the line.
37:30
I don't need your dramatic pause, Sir.
37:34
Interesting. And I don't like looking at him.
37:37
Yeah. So half of the time I make him
37:39
turn around. Yeah.
37:40
Yeah. And I'm like, I think we need to
37:42
start using just we. Oh, hello.
37:44
Just like we audition or something.
37:47
I mean, I've been paying for we audition.
37:48
For like 2 years, but it's also could be like kind of that could
37:52
also be kind of weird too. But like I will say, we audition
37:55
has saved our relationship. One we have not read together.
38:01
We cannot read together. I feel like I need to do it.
38:04
Yeah, you just got to do it because we were just beefing and
38:07
because I feel like I give great, I give patience and I'm
38:13
like, OK, you and do it again. Or I'm like, you know what?
38:16
Why don't you try it like this? When he reads with me, he's
38:19
like, and then he'll yawn, He'll like, and I'm like, and I'm
38:28
trying to keep it together and I'm trying to, I don't know how
38:30
many times he's gonna read with me.
38:32
Like he doesn't give me what I give him.
38:34
And I don't even want a lot. I just want you to like read it.
38:37
I just want you to be in it and not act like you're just like
38:40
like this. And I'm like, and then not only
38:42
that, like you could give me a point.
38:44
And then it's also like how he gives me pointers when he says
38:47
he because I feel like I'm like, that was good.
38:49
Like, you know, why don't you try this?
38:51
He'll be like this. He like, why'd you make that
38:53
noise? Why don't you instead of that?
38:55
It's just, it's just, we do not, we cannot like and that's why
38:59
it's like. Even that makes me feel better.
39:01
Yeah, that's what I. Don't I don't like it.
39:03
I am not I I get angry every time.
39:07
My husband has an every. I'm like, oh, you got not a but
39:12
yeah, we don't. It doesn't.
39:14
What did you do? Was your daughter there?
39:15
Did you guys figure was she there?
39:17
While you guys were, well, she's in school full time.
39:20
I know. Oh my God.
39:23
Extra 1100 a month. Oh wow.
39:27
But. That's amazing.
39:29
Yeah, she's in. School 1100 full time, 4 hours
39:33
or like a full day? Full day, we could drop her off
39:36
at 7:00, pick her up at 6:00. If no we we do like 9 to 4 what
39:40
we do nine to four. Wow.
39:42
But. Yeah.
39:43
Oh my gosh, was that like. My kid.
39:45
What kid? I know that sounds like you're
39:47
like the teacher is with your kid longer did that.
39:49
Do you think that that helped with your career with the
39:52
podcast, with like everything or do?
39:55
You so it's been, I guess it's been a few months now and it has
39:59
been nice. I did have a little breakdown
40:02
before she went because I was like, what am I going to do all
40:04
day? Because Preston records from
40:08
home. So it was pretty detrimental to
40:12
her, to him that he was like. She needs to go.
40:15
So I can work and. Wow, that must have been hard.
40:19
Yeah. And so I was like, OK, before it
40:24
was just I would take her and go somewhere and he would record,
40:28
which is fine. But obviously he was just
40:33
weaving, working whenever he could, little increments.
40:38
And yeah, so school has definitely helped for him work
40:43
wise, and for me, it's surprising how fast the day can
40:49
go. Really.
40:50
Yeah, because I'll be like, I'll do a good long workout and then
40:56
get some stuff done. I've started finally, like, OK,
41:00
I guess I'll clean my own apartment.
41:04
But yeah, it's surprising how quickly the time goes.
41:08
And I don't feel like I've missed any time with her.
41:11
I don't feel like I don't have enough time with her because
41:14
girl's been going to bed at like 9:00.
41:16
She crazy. And so I'm so I got a good five
41:22
hours every day with her. Yeah, that's great.
41:25
So and the weekends and I feel like, I feel like that's
41:33
surprising, but I think she was also very ready for it.
41:38
She needed the the people, the kids.
41:42
She's so social and was like and is such a good talker and when
41:49
we went to visit she went right into circle time and was like
41:53
I'm down with. This.
41:54
Place and she was like I want to come and like she went into the
41:59
line with them when they went out for snack and I was like
42:01
hello and she was like I don't know you don't look.
42:04
At me, she's my mom. At school can you please leave?
42:07
And this is just a tour girl, but so so it worked out and and
42:15
the fact that we could afford it.
42:18
That's great. That's a blessing, was.
42:20
Great. But yeah, it's definitely.
42:23
Because to me, in my mind, like you get all these hours, like to
42:27
me, I'm count. I don't want to say I'm counting
42:29
down the time, but I'm like kind of counting down the time to, to
42:33
school. Like I would I say like once
42:36
they go to school, I'm going to take over the world in my mind,
42:38
that's what I'm going to do. Yeah.
42:40
Well, and now TK is under LAUSD. So if if you're if the public
42:47
school, if you go to a public school, if the public school
42:50
that's in your district, your district, it has ATK.
42:55
They don't all have TKS, but if it has ATK, it's it's included.
43:00
So that starts at 4:00. And how old is she?
43:03
She's 3 or she'll she's almost 3.
43:06
So that'll be 2026. So next year she'll go for free.
43:11
So we're only paying for school and we've she did like a once a
43:17
week or twice a week at another place.
43:19
So we were paying for that too before.
43:23
So we did kind of ease it in. So we were doing like we started
43:27
with a one day a week when she was like two or a little over 2
43:31
and that was at an in home place with just like three other kids.
43:35
And then we went to two days a week for like a couple months.
43:39
And then that ended up, I think two days a week for a full day
43:43
was like not much of a difference than this school,
43:48
which was surprising. Like 800 I feel like, I feel
43:50
like that's how for two days it's like 800 and then like 1100
43:57
for like the full and it's just like you might as well get it,
43:59
but it's just also like, why can't we just make it half like
44:03
it is? Yeah, that it should only be
44:06
like half as much. Yeah, they shouldn't be that
44:08
close. And then when you're like, well,
44:11
if they're there full day, but then they're napping for two of
44:13
the hours, Yeah, it. Gets it, gets a little wonky.
44:17
That's exciting. I'm happy that you're in that.
44:19
I feel like we wanted to do daycare for him but now it's
44:25
just like, it's frustrating because we'll still have one kid
44:31
with us so. Yeah, I don't know, but you know
44:34
how to handle one kid. Yeah, the one kid I feel like
44:36
one kid whenever like he's gone cuz he'll go visit whoever and
44:40
he'll even like yo, I could do one kid like one kid is like
44:44
easy and and her like she's great.
44:47
It's amazing. OK so I have to ask cuz you guys
44:49
moved and you're in a house Yes. So where are you and and how
44:57
much is your rent? You're renting right?
44:58
OK. We're renting.
44:59
You don't have to tell me on the podcast how much, but I'll tell
45:02
you I want to know how much it is.
45:05
But where are you? I'm in Chino Hills, OK which is
45:07
like 50 miles east of downtown. And do you feel like you're
45:17
outside? You know, or.
45:20
Is it the same? It's it's it's, it's different.
45:25
Where were you before? Culver City, Okay, so Culver
45:29
City and then North Hollywood. So I've been out here and then
45:33
Sherman, whatever I've been out here.
45:35
But a big thing was having the two kids is why we moved one
45:40
kid. I felt like we were able to do
45:42
it here in LA space wise, price rise, like we couldn't make it
45:48
happen. But once we had two, like the
45:50
space, you know, I mean never knows, it's expensive here.
45:54
And for the space that we wanted, we just had to move and
45:57
we kept going a little bit further, like we didn't want to
46:00
go past, you know, what's Covina?
46:02
And we didn't want to go past Diamond Bar.
46:03
Then we couldn't. But it's like you just get so
46:05
much more the further you go out.
46:07
So we had to decide and I'm so glad.
46:10
I'm so I think we 100% made the right decision.
46:13
We have a great house, we have a great backyard.
46:15
Everyone has space. We have upstairs, we have
46:18
downstairs. Like it's a real house.
46:21
Is the price that much different from what you were paying in
46:24
rent before? It was, yeah, I was in, I want
46:28
to say like, you know, it wasn't, it didn't have
46:30
amenities. We were in an apartment.
46:32
We were in a 2 bedroom. No, I mean price wise.
46:34
Price wise, yeah, that's what I'm going to compare the size
46:37
and then the price for that. So the apartment that we had
46:40
here, it was $400.00 less, yeah, wow, $400.00 less, OK, for a
46:48
house that we have, the garage and we have all these things,
46:51
$400.00 difference. And with self tapes, have you
46:55
guys been going in person at all?
46:58
I want to make it very 100% clear we would have never moved
47:01
if self tapes were anything 100% without.
47:04
The only reason why we moved is because of self tapes.
47:07
I would say like most of our auditions are our self tape and
47:12
we, we drive into the city one to two times a week is
47:19
ultimately what it comes down to which it's fine.
47:21
And some sometimes you're down here like 3 times.
47:23
Like it, it can get messy. Like the other day it was like
47:26
he had a call back and I had a call back.
47:28
And then ideally we don't want to drive them back and forth.
47:30
They're they're pretty good with the drive, but like we don't
47:32
want to. So it's like he went to his
47:34
early so that he could come back and then he was just literally
47:36
tapped each other out and then I left and then but it's like, but
47:39
if he was late then it would have threw off every.
47:42
It's like a lot of things. So there's these like
47:45
communication, we really, really, really have to
47:47
communicate with our schedules because, you know, and, and he,
47:51
he works more, you know, like he has more auditions and he has
47:57
more callbacks and he books, you know, like I also, because I
48:01
also left and not left, but I was pregnant, you know, and that
48:05
was different too, because you work a little less when you're
48:08
pregnant. Yeah.
48:09
Did you do you guys have the same reps?
48:13
No, we don't. You don't.
48:14
OK, which it makes it a little like, I think ideally, sure, it
48:18
would be easier if we had the same reps because I think we
48:21
would book more together because I think that they would be more
48:25
willing. Because I feel like sometimes
48:26
they're like their casting is over there, like their husband
48:29
is over there, their wife is there.
48:30
But if it because sometimes they'll push us, but then it's
48:32
like, Oh, well, she you know, she has her own agent.
48:36
They get the Commission, you know what I'm saying?
48:38
So it's like they'll be the work.
48:39
But I think we finally got to a place where we are both very
48:42
comfortable with our agents. So it's just like we don't want
48:45
to leave you. Did he even mention to his reps
48:50
that he was? Eventually.
48:52
Eventually, because I'm like why?
48:54
Why would they? Nothing changes.
48:56
They're just like, Congrats. Amazing.
48:57
Yeah. Does your husband?
48:59
I don't know. We have the same reps, We have
49:01
the same manager and agents that I think we're we're gonna be
49:10
making transitions soon, I believe hopefully.
49:13
But but yeah, I, I mean, so obviously me telling them was me
49:20
telling them for both of us, I guess.
49:24
But yeah, nothing, nothing changes for them.
49:28
So I don't know if they would even need to tell.
49:31
I know, I know he he told them eventually, but I think I told
49:35
mine, you know, we we told them and then yeah, he told them
49:40
eventually. And it's like happy, all
49:41
exciting, good stuff. They didn't nothing changed for
49:45
him. No, really there was, you know,
49:47
there was the only thing that changed is I think he booked
49:49
like a Co star or something. And it was the day that I went
49:53
to in their labor. So they had to like, no, yeah,
49:56
they cancelled, but they were so understanding.
49:59
They were like, no, do your thing.
50:01
We already knew that. It was kind of cutting it close,
50:05
but they ended up booking him on something like later.
50:07
So that works out. So he did lose out on that.
50:11
Yeah. Yeah, he lost that in the see,
50:12
that's always like, I mean, that's always a fear, right?
50:16
That like for them, I guess. But like, what are the chances?
50:20
I know what are the chances because you want to be reliable.
50:23
I think something is like women or moms in the industry, like
50:26
you want to be reliable, but it's also like we are also can
50:29
be unreliable because if anything happens to my kid, I'm
50:31
cancelling everything. And even when we're talking
50:33
about that here, it's like it's it's hard planning podcast
50:37
episodes because we're planning with moms who are busy and have
50:40
kids and all these things. We're the moms and we're the
50:42
moms. We have to be understanding and
50:45
that space and and now the video which you're in now, which is
50:48
awesome and cool. So how was that side note?
50:51
How was your transitioning? Because you've been in the
50:53
you've been podcasting for a while.
50:55
You're like, to me, you're like, oh Gee, you've had lots of
50:58
episodes, right? Who else is?
50:59
There such a pro, Such a pro. What's the ebbs and flows that
51:04
you've had? I'm curious.
51:06
I'm curious. Yeah, with with Preston or just
51:09
in in general? Yeah.
51:12
I don't know, man, I go through, which is what I was going to ask
51:15
you too about like the actor spiral where like I feel like
51:20
every once in a while and I feel like I'm I can't be alone, I
51:23
hope where it's just like what am I doing?
51:27
Why am I here? I haven't booked anything.
51:29
Am I an actor? When was the last time I got
51:32
paid to act like what? And then it really like just can
51:38
spiral and and then I'll be like, should I just like, should
51:44
I just teach? Should I move back home?
51:46
Should I do? And then it just like keeps on
51:48
going. So it's really like the only
51:50
way. And in those times usually like
51:53
that day, I'll get an audition, I know, or like the next day.
51:56
And not that I'm still not booking necessarily, but just to
52:02
have that I'm like, OK. It's almost like a sign, all
52:06
right. Just when I was trying, they
52:07
always say like plan a trip and you'll get some auditions.
52:10
I'm planning those trips. Like where I gotta go, I'll get
52:13
the insurance, give me my money back.
52:16
Yeah, for sure. I think that I do think things
52:20
like for me, what helps me is doing things for myself that I
52:25
can create and that I could be like creating those spaces
52:30
because to me, I feel like that's what the podcast became
52:33
for me. It's like something that I am in
52:36
control of. It's a lot of work, it's a lot
52:39
of things, but I do feel like things like this make me feel
52:44
and, and also being a parent, you know, my focus isn't only on
52:51
acting per SE. And I have to remind myself the
52:55
reason, the reason, my reason, my purpose, my everything.
52:58
And it's like I could still do things related to acting even if
53:03
I'm not booking a job per SE. So it's just like, because even
53:06
I have to remind myself I'm doing the podcast because
53:08
honestly, sometimes I'm like, I had my spiral this week.
53:11
I was like, why am I even making this?
53:12
I didn't, I had an episode that I was supposed to drop
53:14
yesterday. I didn't drop anything.
53:15
I didn't say anything. I just kind of like because I
53:18
just couldn't I have like, because I have like color,
53:19
correct and how to do these things.
53:21
I can't do it. I can't, I can't do it.
53:22
And I'm like, who am I even doing this for?
53:24
Who's even listening? What am I doing this for?
53:26
And then I was like, no, Alicia, you know, like, and I gave
53:28
myself that day yesterday and today I feel better.
53:30
You know, I just my my reason. I have to understand my reason
53:34
why. And it's like to support women
53:37
to be big. It's bigger than myself.
53:39
I think we work in a very selfish industry.
53:42
So I think that things like this and creating the space is helps
53:46
me not crash out as hard because I do think it's about how quick
53:51
you come back from the crash out.
53:52
Yeah, because. You don't want to go too far,
53:54
but it's like sometimes, some days it's just going to go down
53:57
and that's going to go down, you know?
54:00
But I think that's like you were saying you and your husband
54:04
giving each other grace. It's like you got to give
54:05
yourself grace as well, where it's like, like you said, you
54:11
have to take care of yourself. And it's if it's just putting
54:16
out the content, then that kind of like defeats what we're
54:22
trying to do where it's like you don't have to do it all and you
54:25
have to take breaks and you have to take care of yourself, which
54:29
again, of course, is always easier.
54:31
Said than done. But it is true where it's like
54:38
we can't, we can't do it all. Yeah, I know 100%.
54:41
Not all at the same time. Yeah, not all at the same time.
54:44
You can do it. You can do multiple things, but
54:46
you have to understand like just the balance of it all is not
54:49
because. Side note, I saw something you
54:50
posted yesterday and I was just like, because you said something
54:54
like what would you tell your older self is that it like
54:56
something like that? And I was like, that it's hard
54:58
and that it sucks, but but then I saw what you wrote and I was
55:02
like, yeah, like, be kind to yourself.
55:05
Give yourself grace. And I was like, that was a great
55:08
post. Just want you to know that too.
55:09
Yeah, because it's like, what would you tell your pre baby?
55:13
Yourself. What would you tell yours?
55:21
She's a good one. You got a good one.
55:23
Enjoy it. Yeah.
55:25
Really. Also, the thing that I'm having
55:28
this is a bit of a tangent, but maybe I would tell myself, Hey,
55:34
prepare for maybe this might be the only one because I think
55:38
that's what I'm having trouble with with deciding to have a
55:41
second one where I'm like, I not that I didn't absorb it, not
55:48
that I wasn't present, but I wish I if I don't have another
55:55
one, I wish I just would have known that this is the only time
56:00
I'm going to do this. And somebody posted, actually
56:04
it's been posted a couple Times Now.
56:06
I'm like, is somebody trying to tell me something that was like,
56:09
I don't want another baby. I just want my.
56:12
Baby. Back or like I just want to do
56:15
it again. And I was like, I was like, that
56:18
is, I think exactly. Goosebumps because I had that
56:22
with that's just like, I get what you're saying so much
56:26
because as hard as it was for me to have the second one, that's
56:30
what I'm so I had another chance to do it and I was able to
56:36
realized to take it in and because it's so frustrating,
56:39
first of all, oh, it goes by so fast.
56:42
It's like, I get it, okay, I get it goes by so fast.
56:45
Whatever, I'm in it. It's not the days.
56:46
Yeah, the days are long. But like with her, I really
56:49
understood it because like she was born.
56:51
I was like, he was this small like, oh God, this is it.
56:55
This is my little. I can't stop it because I'm just
56:59
like you're so. Sick of it with both of them.
57:03
See, now that she's almost 3 and in school, I'm like, okay, I
57:07
know that there's all of this and I see where you are, where
57:12
I'm like, maybe that would have been better to just get it done
57:16
with and then like eventually, like you maybe have like another
57:21
like year or two. I mean, it's gonna be hard.
57:25
I say in two different years I'm gonna be so happy.
57:28
In two or three years I'm gonna be happy.
57:30
Right now I'm just losing. I'm literally just scraping by
57:33
like putting on a good face, like just doing what I gotta do
57:37
to like push through and muster through and it's and it's great.
57:40
But even just getting through this year, I guess I'm taking it
57:44
for myself. Like you made it even though I
57:46
know I'm still in it. But like that year was hard.
57:49
But like but like you said, I was also able to appreciate like
57:54
this little human. Because then she's going to
57:56
start walking. I know.
57:58
And all of that, we're like, yeah.
58:00
So now I'm like, oh, do I want to do I want to go back to
58:04
diapers where it's like get all the.
58:06
Diapers. Yeah.
58:07
We never left diapers. We've been in diapers.
58:09
Where I have like storage of like bottles and I'm like, do I
58:14
get rid of this? I don't know.
58:15
What do I do? I don't know what do I?
58:17
It's such a big decision and it's like, it's almost like it
58:20
always feels like now or never. It's now or never, I'm sure.
58:23
Because it's like as time is going, it's like, yeah, it's
58:25
it's big, big, big thoughts. Yeah, yes, it's tough, man.
58:30
It is. I love that both of.
58:32
Us looking at it questions. What?
58:33
Yeah, I was going to say. What?
58:37
Do you, what do you mean? OK, wait, going back to
58:41
auditioning with your kids also have they auditioned on their
58:46
own? And what do you guys feel about
58:48
that? Because when we had May and we
58:52
did a couple auditions with her and she had a couple by herself,
58:56
but having the same reps, they just kind of did it for her.
59:01
But then once they were like, Hey, can you update her
59:03
pictures? Can you do this?
59:04
I was like, no, I was like, I don't want to.
59:07
I was like she and now she's 3 and she hasn't like she's not
59:13
asking to audition. So I'm like we're, we're not
59:17
doing it anymore. OK, for completely pulled her
59:20
out. I was just like, hey, I'm not
59:24
going to, I'm not going to update her, but I'm not paying
59:27
to update her pictures because she's going to change again in a
59:30
month. We just had that conversation
59:34
like, but OK, so. But we also weren't booking, so
59:40
that could be different. Yes, I don't want to say like
59:44
sure, I'm sure, sure, sure, But it's not like they're booking
59:48
crazy like you said they were doing isn't like they were they
59:52
were auditioning with us. So there was so they booked jobs
59:56
with us. So that is nice.
1:00:01
But now recently they're signed with my.
1:00:05
The husband's agency with Danny Hoff, so they both are there.
1:00:10
They got good rap. They got good rap.
1:00:14
So they're they, they go fine, but it opened up a whole because
1:00:18
it's like they sent and they're like, OK, because they asked
1:00:21
like, do you guys want to? And we're like, why not?
1:00:23
Our, our idea on this is like, we're going to let them do it
1:00:27
until, but maybe until they really understand what's going
1:00:30
on or like, you know, and then we'll pull them out.
1:00:32
But right now it's just like, why not?
1:00:34
They don't like, they don't know whether I go with them or not.
1:00:36
But it's also like, am I going to invest this money knowing
1:00:39
that, like you said, they didn't sign up for this like that.
1:00:41
And with kids auditioning, they either have a good, whoever
1:00:44
books it in my mind is who had a better day that day?
1:00:46
Because it's like, you could have a good audition, but when
1:00:49
they go on set, it could be one of their bad days.
1:00:51
Like you don't know what you're getting.
1:00:53
So and we we're paying monthly for casting networks.
1:00:57
So that was the other thing. I was like, it's coming out of
1:00:59
my account. I was like every month.
1:01:01
So that's 30 sixty $90.00 for that.
1:01:04
And casting networks that's a whole nother.
1:01:06
Sorry. Yeah, that's all.
1:01:08
Because I'm like the fact that they are like, we just want a
1:01:11
package. We just want to upload, you
1:01:13
know, back to how it was before. Just upload the one picture,
1:01:15
upload a couple of things, that's it.
1:01:17
But they don't allow that. But what I think I'm going to do
1:01:20
now that you've asked, as I think I'm going to, since they
1:01:23
made money, I'm going to just pull it out and buy the year
1:01:26
with their money because it's just coming out of my account.
1:01:29
Yeah, it's definitely nice. I mean, there is a that line of
1:01:33
like, yeah, we were having her audition before she knew the
1:01:37
difference. Like, yeah, she can make herself
1:01:39
some money by all means. And it's actually like very easy
1:01:44
to get like a work certificate. What do you call?
1:01:49
It yeah, permit. But yeah, but now that she is a
1:01:54
little bit older, I'm like. Yeah.
1:01:57
But I mean, I'm definitely if she like gets older and wants to
1:02:04
audition and stuff, I'll be like, OK, let's try some plays,
1:02:08
let's do this, let's blah, blah, blah.
1:02:10
I'm not. I'm not going to push her, but
1:02:13
I'm also not going to stop her. Stop her.
1:02:15
Yeah, yeah, same thing. So once, once they get older,
1:02:18
we'll I think we'll address it with them.
1:02:21
Like do you like this or do you not like, we're fine either way.
1:02:23
If you want to like ideally, honestly, no, I don't want them
1:02:26
to do it. But right now, why not make
1:02:28
money in the meantime and put it away for them and we just put it
1:02:31
all in there, their bank and account?
1:02:32
And luckily with kids, they will tell you if they're not enjoying
1:02:36
it. I know.
1:02:36
That's why I was like, I don't think it'll be any problem when
1:02:38
it comes down to it of them like being like, I don't like it.
1:02:41
I'm like cool, great, let's stop.
1:02:42
So until then. Well, my last thing is what
1:02:46
would you say to another actor that's thinking of having kids
1:02:50
but scared? I would say, Dang, let's see, I
1:03:00
want to. I don't want to just say
1:03:01
something. I'll say, yeah, go maybe if you
1:03:08
know you want to have kids, just do it.
1:03:13
Because I mean, there is definitely something said like
1:03:18
if you are really scraping by monthly, like and you really
1:03:23
cannot afford a kid, that is tough.
1:03:28
But I think if you're, I mean, before I had a kid, I was month,
1:03:32
I'm still month to month with paychecks and figuring it out
1:03:36
and stuff. But it's like if you've been
1:03:38
living on your own and being able to like pay rent and go out
1:03:44
to eat or like have extra things, you'll be fine.
1:03:48
You'll be fine. And but it can only enhance your
1:03:54
life. I think it goes with anything as
1:03:56
an actor, like live your fullest life because that will only make
1:04:01
your acting. More full.
1:04:04
Yeah, I agree. So I guess what I would say
1:04:08
would be imagine your life with kids and imagine it without and
1:04:15
whatever 1 you prefer. Like go for it.
1:04:19
Do you know what I'm saying? Because it's like, I think it
1:04:21
comes down to like, if you're teetering, you're like, I don't
1:04:23
know, when is the time. It's like, do you want kids or
1:04:25
don't you? And if you do, then like you
1:04:28
said, just have them you'll because you'll figure it out.
1:04:30
Like I think that some people don't have kids and then they
1:04:34
wait and they're just waiting for that big job.
1:04:37
And it's like, you just have to think that that big job is not
1:04:39
coming when it comes to kids. Stop waiting for that moment
1:04:43
because that moment isn't coming.
1:04:44
Not in a negative way, but like don't put all your eggs in the
1:04:49
basket of acting when you don't have any control of that.
1:04:52
If what you want is a family, then have a family.
1:04:55
Don't base it off of your career because no matter what you will
1:04:58
figure it out. Like what I told myself, I know,
1:05:01
I know I know. It's just weird.
1:05:03
If 16 and pregnant could do it, my husband and I can do it.
1:05:06
Do you know what I'm saying? Like if they can figure it out,
1:05:10
we can as adults figure this out.
1:05:12
Yeah, I think that a lot of like way stupider people have had
1:05:16
kids way, way stupider and way poorer.
1:05:22
Yeah, Financially, yeah. Just to say it, it's like, OK,
1:05:27
I'm not. I'm not, you know.
1:05:30
I'm not I'm. Not making a ton of money but
1:05:34
I'm. And you'll be fulfilled.
1:05:36
Like the fulfillment from having a kid is way more than a career
1:05:39
in my opinion, because there's nothing you're, you're just
1:05:42
going to love you no matter what, you know, like, and you're
1:05:45
going to your heart is going to like, it's, there's no love like
1:05:48
it. So it's like, it's better to
1:05:50
have the family. If you want the family, you
1:05:53
could do it. You can do.
1:05:55
It yeah, you could do it. Or not.
1:05:57
I know, and that's what I say. If if you want it, you could do
1:05:59
it. If you don't want it, that's
1:06:00
totally fine. Yeah.
1:06:01
I will also say I, I think that everyone it's easier to
1:06:08
commiserate and complain about parenting things and I think
1:06:12
that's easier for people to understand and connect with.
1:06:16
But because there's no way to explain, like, OK, but when she
1:06:22
laughs, I want to just, yeah. I could.
1:06:27
I could, I could. There's.
1:06:29
No way to explain that where it's like oh I can explain like
1:06:32
cleaning this. Is hard and tired on this, but I
1:06:35
can't. That's what I try and tell
1:06:36
people. I'm like I get it.
1:06:37
I'm telling you all these things and I'm because my sister be
1:06:39
like you're not really selling this.
1:06:41
I'm like, and I get that, but that's because you don't
1:06:43
understand. There's no words that can
1:06:47
explain to you how my heart just keeps growing because even with
1:06:50
my first son, I was nervous because I was like, I'm not
1:06:53
going to love this second kid because my first one is so
1:06:55
perfect. Like there's no, I can't.
1:06:57
And that made me sad. And then I had her and I was
1:07:00
like, my heart has more room. Like there's more room for love.
1:07:03
Like it's disgusting. Like it hurts.
1:07:07
I always tell my husband I'm like does your?
1:07:08
Heart hurt, I feel like I can't breathe.
1:07:10
Sometimes I love him so. I know, yeah.
1:07:15
There's nothing like it there. Is nothing like it.
1:07:18
Yeah, you're doing a good job. You're doing great, girl.
1:07:20
Yeah, we. Did it, We did it.
1:07:24
And that's our episode. Thank you so much for listening
1:07:28
and being a part of Mommy Wood. I am so, so happy to have you
1:07:31
here. A huge thank you to my dear
1:07:34
friend and amazing producer Cecilia Tripp with Laurel Canyon
1:07:38
Creative. And a big thank you to Edith
1:07:40
Mudge for our theme music. If you could please make sure
1:07:44
that you like, follow, subscribe wherever it is you get your
1:07:48
podcast as well as leave a review, which is a wonderful way
1:07:52
to support Mommy Wood. Please make sure you also follow
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1:08:02
And thank you again for listening.
1:08:04
Take care.