Latest / ok storytime / My parents secretly SABOTAGED our venue... three days before the wedding! -r/AmITheAsshole | Reddit Stories | EP3102

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My parents secretly SABOTAGED our venue... three days before the wedding! -r/AmITheAsshole | Reddit Stories | EP3102 · ok storytime

• 0:00
  Speaker 1: Hey, it's Keon.
• 0:01
  Speaker 2: And this is Carly, your favorite OK Storytime host, and
• 0:04
  Speaker 2: we've got some great stories coming up.
• 0:06
  Speaker 1: But before that, we have a quick two-minute break from
• 0:09
  Speaker 1: the sponsors that keep the show alive.
• 0:11
  Speaker 3: My parents secretly sabotaged our venue three days before the wedding.
• 0:16
  Speaker 2: Hey, when am I supposed to get married?
• 0:18
  Speaker 3: My girlfriend and I had planned to get married on Saturday. Oh,
• 0:22
  Speaker 3: that's too soon. We wrapped up all our planning around Halloween.
• 0:26
  Speaker 3: All that was left was to ring sometime this week
• 0:29
  Speaker 3: and make sure everything was running smoothly. She called the
• 0:31
  Speaker 3: venue and the person she spoke to asked her to
• 0:34
  Speaker 3: confirm some changes she apparently made. My girlfriend had no
• 0:38
  Speaker 3: clue what he was talking about, and he reminded her
• 0:41
  Speaker 3: of all the changes that had been put in recently.
• 0:44
  Speaker 3: We had not approved any of those changes. Put a password, people.
• 0:49
  Speaker 2: Put a password. Put a password.
• 0:50
  Speaker 3: We were able to get some of it put back
• 0:52
  Speaker 3: the way it was, but there are some things that
• 0:54
  Speaker 3: we couldn't change back at such short notice. The venue
• 0:58
  Speaker 3: forwarded us the emails asking for the changes so we
• 1:01
  Speaker 3: could look over them. Our communication was being done via
• 1:04
  Speaker 3: an email account we created solely for wedding stuff. And
• 1:08
  Speaker 3: the email address which asked for the changes is the
• 1:11
  Speaker 3: exact same address, except two letters are switched round. Oh, honestly,
• 1:18
  Speaker 3: that's kind of a little bit on the venue.
• 1:20
  Speaker 2: Wait, what did they switch?
• 1:21
  Speaker 3: So for example, it would be like, OP's wedding at gmail.com.
• 1:28
  Speaker 3: And then this person, this fake person sent like, PO's
• 1:33
  Speaker 3: wedding at gmail.com. Like they switched two letters around. Oh,
• 1:39
  Speaker 3: and they didn't catch that?
• 1:40
  Speaker 2: Yeah, and they didn't catch it. Yeah, that is the
• 1:43
  Speaker 2: wedding fault. Or the venue's fault. That's the wedding fault.
• 1:46
  Speaker 2: That's on the wedding.
• 1:47
  Speaker 3: The venue is very apologetic for not calling us directly,
• 1:50
  Speaker 3: but can only fix so much of it at this stage.
• 1:52
  Speaker 2: Oh, screw you. I'm asking for a refund.
• 1:55
  Speaker 3: Yeah, honestly, I'd be like, hey, I never approved this change.
• 1:58
  Speaker 3: This is clearly some sort of scam.
• 1:59
  Speaker 2: Exactly.
• 2:01
  Speaker 3: We think we know what happened. By the way, this
• 2:03
  Speaker 3: comes from a deleted user. And if you want to
• 2:05
  Speaker 3: submit your own stories, go to the r slash okay
• 2:07
  Speaker 3: story time subreddit.
• 2:08
  Speaker 2: I'm Sophia. I'm Savannah.
• 2:11
  Speaker 1: I'm Keon.
• 2:12
  Speaker 3: And we're here to give good advice goofily, but we
• 2:14
  Speaker 3: don't have all the answers. And if you've got answers,
• 2:16
  Speaker 3: give them right now.
• 2:18
  Speaker 2: But, oh pieces.
• 2:19
  Speaker 3: The whole time we were planning the wedding, we got
• 2:21
  Speaker 3: pushback from both sets of parents. And the stuff they
• 2:25
  Speaker 3: had the biggest issues with have all been changed. I'm
• 2:28
  Speaker 3: willing to bet that all of this was related to
• 2:30
  Speaker 3: at least one of our respective parents. We don't know
• 2:33
  Speaker 3: anyone who would want to F with us or the
• 2:35
  Speaker 3: wedding this badly except our parents, who got pissy when
• 2:39
  Speaker 3: we told them they couldn't financially contribute to the wedding
• 2:42
  Speaker 3: because they were trying to trade their money for whatever
• 2:45
  Speaker 3: wedding stuff they wanted. Right now, The stuff that we
• 2:48
  Speaker 3: wanted that is still in this wedding is my suit,
• 2:51
  Speaker 3: the venue, and the DJ. My girlfriend has gone to
• 2:54
  Speaker 3: pick up her dress and she's not heard from the shop,
• 2:56
  Speaker 3: so we're assuming that hasn't changed. I'm calling around everyone
• 3:01
  Speaker 3: and it looks like the menu has been changed, as
• 3:03
  Speaker 3: has the guest list and the cake.
• 3:07
  Speaker 2: Oh, that's crazy.
• 3:08
  Speaker 1: So, everything. Everything's changed.
• 3:11
  Speaker 2: So now it's not even their wedding. Huge. The cake? Why?
• 3:15
  Speaker 2: I'm just shocked about the guest list. No, same. It's
• 3:17
  Speaker 2: like people are going to show up thinking that they
• 3:19
  Speaker 2: are invited because you sent them an invitation.
• 3:21
  Speaker 3: I hope it's not like I hope they didn't uninvite,
• 3:25
  Speaker 3: you know, because they probably.
• 3:26
  Speaker 2: Just added more people. But still, that's money.
• 3:28
  Speaker 1: Yeah.
• 3:28
  Speaker 3: If they added more people, I would tell the venue
• 3:31
  Speaker 3: I'd be like, I'm not paying for that. But if
• 3:32
  Speaker 3: they got rid of people, I would understand they might
• 3:35
  Speaker 3: not be able to have seats in time or like
• 3:37
  Speaker 3: have food ready.
• 3:38
  Speaker 1: You would also think like this is fishy because why
• 3:41
  Speaker 1: are they changing so much right before?
• 3:45
  Speaker 3: We paid for the wedding we'd planned, and it looks
• 3:47
  Speaker 3: like any additional cost from the changes, such as the
• 3:50
  Speaker 3: extra people... Oh, so it's extra people.
• 3:52
  Speaker 2: At least it's not... Okay, they didn't... They didn't subtract.
• 3:56
  Speaker 2: That's better, but still.
• 3:59
  Speaker 3: We're paid for by someone else, so at least those
• 4:02
  Speaker 3: changes are not on OP to cover. But they wouldn't
• 4:05
  Speaker 3: give me any of the card info for legal reasons.
• 4:08
  Speaker 4: It's my wedding!
• 4:08
  Speaker 2: Yeah, what do you mean?
• 4:10
  Speaker 3: We probably won't be speaking to our parents again after
• 4:13
  Speaker 3: this unless one of them owns up in which case.
• 4:15
  Speaker 2: We'll just stop speaking to that one.
• 4:17
  Speaker 3: But this feels like a joint effort, as it's dealt
• 4:20
  Speaker 3: with both sets of parents' complaints.
• 4:23
  Speaker 2: Before my girlfriend left.
• 4:24
  Speaker 3: To get the dress, she gave me permission to post this,
• 4:26
  Speaker 3: as we are seriously considering eloping. We have the marriage
• 4:30
  Speaker 3: certificate here, the honeymoon is unaltered, and exactly what we wanted,
• 4:34
  Speaker 3: and there's a few appointments we could make between now
• 4:36
  Speaker 3: and Saturday at the town hall to get the certificate
• 4:40
  Speaker 3: legally signed and filed. However, we now have around 200
• 4:43
  Speaker 3: people attending this wedding in three days.
• 4:46
  Speaker 2: You can cancel three days before a wedding. No, you can't.
• 4:49
  Speaker 2: People have already paid for dresses and suits and flights.
• 4:53
  Speaker 2: People have made arrangements for their kids probably. Hotels. Yeah.
• 4:59
  Speaker 2: You can't do that to everyone.
• 5:00
  Speaker 3: Our original guest list was about 100 including families and
• 5:03
  Speaker 3: plus ones.
• 5:04
  Speaker 1: So we doubled?
• 5:05
  Speaker 2: Doubled.
• 5:06
  Speaker 1: Wait. Then who was invited? How can you? Who was invited?
• 5:10
  Speaker 2: They doubled the guest list?
• 5:12
  Speaker 1: I would look at the guest list immediately.
• 5:15
  Speaker 2: What? No. How would the venue be okay with that
• 5:18
  Speaker 2: days before?
• 5:19
  Speaker 1: Because guess what?
• 5:19
  Speaker 3: I don't think it was days before. I think they
• 5:21
  Speaker 3: found out days before.
• 5:22
  Speaker 2: Oh, okay.
• 5:23
  Speaker 1: Well, I'll tell you this right now. The venue is
• 5:24
  Speaker 1: okay with it because they got paid.
• 5:26
  Speaker 2: Money, money, money, money.
• 5:28
  Speaker 3: People have booked hotels, planes, trains, and are coming from
• 5:31
  Speaker 3: other countries to be here. None of these people have
• 5:34
  Speaker 3: done anything to us and would be getting caught in
• 5:36
  Speaker 3: the crossfire if we were to elope instead. We would
• 5:39
  Speaker 3: be the ailes and we do have an update.
• 5:43
  Speaker 2: But what do you guys think? You got to confront
• 5:45
  Speaker 2: the parents. Yeah. And then they're not invited.
• 5:47
  Speaker 1: At this point, you've got to.
• 5:48
  Speaker 2: You fully uninvite them. You said, don't come to my wedding.
• 5:51
  Speaker 2: I'd be like, someone fess up now. And if you don't,
• 5:53
  Speaker 2: you're all invited.
• 5:54
  Speaker 4: Yeah.
• 5:55
  Speaker 2: I'd be like, don't mess with it. Like, what is
• 5:57
  Speaker 2: your issue? Because it didn't turn out the way you
• 5:59
  Speaker 2: wanted it.
• 6:00
  Speaker 1: I'm also going to the venue and I'm suing the venue.
• 6:01
  Speaker 1: I'm suing the venue.
• 6:03
  Speaker 2: Oh, yeah. I want a refund. At least for like,
• 6:06
  Speaker 2: you know, a little bit. Because that's ridiculous.
• 6:09
  Speaker 1: Yeah.
• 6:10
  Speaker 2: And it's like that is your mistake. Yeah.
• 6:12
  Speaker 3: Like you didn't notice that the account wasn't me.
• 6:15
  Speaker 1: I'm just suing everyone who just like didn't confirm with me.
• 6:20
  Speaker 2: Yeah. Didn't hear my voice. Update.
• 6:23
  Speaker 3: I posted in the group chat I have with all
• 6:25
  Speaker 3: four parents that that someone has been screwing with the wedding.
• 6:30
  Speaker 3: We found the email they used, and we've been tracking
• 6:32
  Speaker 3: the IP address to a device and location. This was
• 6:35
  Speaker 3: all absolute BS. We don't even know how to find
• 6:37
  Speaker 3: an IP address.
• 6:38
  Speaker 1: That's hilarious. They're doing like a clue right now.
• 6:41
  Speaker 2: Yeah, they're bluffing.
• 6:42
  Speaker 1: Yeah.
• 6:43
  Speaker 3: As soon as I said we'd be tracking the email,
• 6:45
  Speaker 3: they all started pointing fingers and accusing each other.
• 6:49
  Speaker 1: Ah, so like a clue. This is definitely a game
• 6:51
  Speaker 1: of clue. Fun.
• 6:52
  Speaker 3: It looks like all four of them were in on
• 6:54
  Speaker 3: it together.
• 6:55
  Speaker 1: Yeah.
• 6:56
  Speaker 3: Still not sure what we're doing about the wedding, but
• 6:58
  Speaker 3: all four parents are uninvited. We're thinking that we might
• 7:02
  Speaker 3: elope for the ceremony and then have the reception as planned.
• 7:05
  Speaker 3: It's all the same party venue and we won't get
• 7:08
  Speaker 3: money back because of the number of people who are
• 7:10
  Speaker 3: coming from all over the place. And we do have
• 7:13
  Speaker 3: an update.
• 7:13
  Speaker 2: Wow. Let's keep it going.
• 7:16
  Speaker 3: My mother made up the email and her mother helped
• 7:19
  Speaker 3: replan the wedding.
• 7:20
  Speaker 2: And there it is.
• 7:22
  Speaker 3: We knew they'd been meeting for lunch, but we didn't
• 7:24
  Speaker 3: realize what they were doing in that time. Caterer and
• 7:27
  Speaker 3: baker can fix the menu and cake, and the clothing
• 7:30
  Speaker 3: is all safe. Venue thinks they might be able to
• 7:32
  Speaker 3: fix the decorations, and the parents have paid for the changes.
• 7:36
  Speaker 3: The ceremony itself is the same. We were worried it's
• 7:39
  Speaker 3: been changed from a non-religious ceremony to a religious one,
• 7:43
  Speaker 3: but it hadn't. That's at least something. So we'll probably
• 7:47
  Speaker 3: just go through with the day as it currently stands
• 7:49
  Speaker 3: with a couple changes. We've decided that we will meet
• 7:52
  Speaker 3: up before the ceremony with some close friends, no parents,
• 7:56
  Speaker 3: to sign the certificate so we're not doing it surrounded
• 7:59
  Speaker 3: by strangers, then have the ceremony in rings as planned
• 8:02
  Speaker 3: with everyone invited, go to the reception with everyone who
• 8:05
  Speaker 3: has been invited because innocent people have paid out money
• 8:08
  Speaker 3: to be here, and then afterwards we'll go for drinks
• 8:11
  Speaker 3: with the people who were at the signing earlier in
• 8:13
  Speaker 3: the day. The venue offered us security. but we're not
• 8:17
  Speaker 3: going to uninvite the additional people or turn them away.
• 8:20
  Speaker 3: And as for our parents, we're not sure. The options
• 8:25
  Speaker 3: are either invite them and let them deal with their
• 8:28
  Speaker 3: invitees so we don't have to, then cut them out
• 8:30
  Speaker 3: of speeches and just don't acknowledge them all day and
• 8:33
  Speaker 3: after the reception cut contact, or just don't let them come,
• 8:38
  Speaker 3: in which case we'll need the security the venue offered
• 8:41
  Speaker 3: because I can't see them just not going. Then you
• 8:43
  Speaker 3: have also said to pretty much just leave it with them.
• 8:46
  Speaker 3: They'll put what they can back to what we planned
• 8:49
  Speaker 3: and they're prepared to offer a partial refund.
• 8:52
  Speaker 2: Nice.
• 8:53
  Speaker 3: Based on what they can't fix. So if they fix 50%
• 8:57
  Speaker 3: of it, they're prepared to refund 25% for the 50%
• 9:00
  Speaker 3: they can't fix.
• 9:01
  Speaker 2: No, it should be the 50% you can't fix. Anything
• 9:05
  Speaker 2: that you can't fix and want to refund.
• 9:07
  Speaker 1: Yeah, what?
• 9:08
  Speaker 2: Oh, sorry. Sorry, that was our fault. We'll give you $ 3.
• 9:10
  Speaker 1: Oh.
• 9:13
  Speaker 3: I want to do your job. I want a full
• 9:14
  Speaker 3: refund of anything.
• 9:15
  Speaker 2: Why would you want like, that's what I don't get
• 9:17
  Speaker 2: about businesses to be so stingy and so cheap. Don't
• 9:20
  Speaker 2: you want them to be like, oh yeah, they messed up,
• 9:22
  Speaker 2: but they totally made it better. They made it so
• 9:24
  Speaker 2: much better. Then I'd be like, you know, there were
• 9:27
  Speaker 2: a little, there were bumps in the road, but then
• 9:29
  Speaker 2: they got there and it was so much better. You
• 9:31
  Speaker 2: have to go with them.
• 9:32
  Speaker 4: Yeah.
• 9:33
  Speaker 2: Like instead they're like, we can only really do this. Sorry.
• 9:37
  Speaker 2: And we'll never see you again. Update three though.
• 9:39
  Speaker 3: We had a small private thing where we signed the
• 9:42
  Speaker 3: certificate with our closest friends. Then we went to the
• 9:44
  Speaker 3: planned ceremony and had a short service where we exchanged rings.
• 9:48
  Speaker 2: Followed by a reception.
• 9:50
  Speaker 3: We told the parents they were not invited, which I
• 9:52
  Speaker 3: think is the right move.
• 9:54
  Speaker 1: Yeah.
• 9:55
  Speaker 2: Oh, for sure.
• 9:56
  Speaker 1: Yeah.
• 9:57
  Speaker 3: Told the venue they weren't invited. The venue put what
• 9:59
  Speaker 3: was essentially a bouncer at the door and they still
• 10:02
  Speaker 3: got in. They don't seem to understand what they did
• 10:05
  Speaker 3: was wrong as they boasted to their guests that they
• 10:08
  Speaker 3: planned it. But we changed it to what you're currently seeing.
• 10:12
  Speaker 2: So you confessed?
• 10:14
  Speaker 3: And their own guests ended up being the ones to
• 10:16
  Speaker 3: tell them how effed up that was. They were pretty
• 10:19
  Speaker 3: much shamed by their guests into leaving about an hour.
• 10:23
  Speaker 2: After they arrived.
• 10:24
  Speaker 1: Oh.
• 10:25
  Speaker 2: So they did come, but then. They still, oh yeah,
• 10:29
  Speaker 2: so because they still got in. The security didn't work. Yeah, wow,
• 10:33
  Speaker 2: so you paid for screen. Another refund, yeah. What are
• 10:36
  Speaker 2: they there for? Do your job. What? You're getting paid
• 10:39
  Speaker 2: to do this. If you're not doing the job, you
• 10:41
  Speaker 2: don't get paid. Duh, is this like big brain math
• 10:44
  Speaker 2: or something?
• 10:45
  Speaker 3: Also, half their guests didn't show.
• 10:48
  Speaker 2: Well, that's good.
• 10:50
  Speaker 3: It was probably about 60 to 70% of our guests
• 10:52
  Speaker 3: in the end, and we definitely had the majority. Food,
• 10:56
  Speaker 3: including cake, was sorted out, but not decor, and venue
• 10:59
  Speaker 3: are refunding us 50%, which was going to be 30,
• 11:03
  Speaker 3: but then they let the parents in.
• 11:04
  Speaker 2: Yeah. Yeah, they were like, so we did fail at
• 11:08
  Speaker 2: that part.
• 11:08
  Speaker 1: Yeah.
• 11:08
  Speaker 2: Give me 50% or I'm suing you.
• 11:14
  Speaker 3: We only spoke to them once to tell them that
• 11:17
  Speaker 3: because after completely effing up our wedding plans, they then
• 11:20
  Speaker 3: couldn't honor one simple request to not come. They would
• 11:23
  Speaker 3: not be hearing from us potentially ever again. And if
• 11:27
  Speaker 3: they contacted us, that would change to definitely never hearing
• 11:31
  Speaker 3: from us again. We are currently in the cab on
• 11:33
  Speaker 3: our way to get drinks with the same friends who
• 11:36
  Speaker 3: were at the signing earlier and then off on our honeymoon,
• 11:39
  Speaker 3: which sounds great. A nice, relaxing honeymoon is what you need.
• 11:43
  Speaker 2: After your parents... After your wedding. Yeah, just ruined your...
• 11:47
  Speaker 2: Or tried to ruin your wedding. And literally for what? Yeah,
• 11:49
  Speaker 2: for what? Like, did they think you were just going
• 11:51
  Speaker 2: to be okay with all of that? Like, and doing
• 11:55
  Speaker 2: it behind your back. What kind of parent are you?
• 11:56
  Speaker 1: I know.
• 11:57
  Speaker 2: Like, why are you trying to... Why? Why? Like sabotage
• 12:02
  Speaker 2: my daughter son's wedding. Why? Because you didn't like what
• 12:06
  Speaker 2: they changed.
• 12:07
  Speaker 1: Yeah.
• 12:07
  Speaker 2: You didn't like the cake.
• 12:09
  Speaker 1: Yeah.
• 12:10
  Speaker 2: And the menu.
• 12:10
  Speaker 1: Yeah.
• 12:11
  Speaker 3: You're potentially never going to talk to your son slash
• 12:15
  Speaker 3: daughter again.
• 12:16
  Speaker 1: Yeah.
• 12:17
  Speaker 3: And then you add 100 more people. At least you
• 12:20
  Speaker 3: got the cake that you wanted at not your wedding.
• 12:24
  Speaker 2: Was it worth it? Yeah.
• 12:25
  Speaker 1: At this point just make your renew your vows. Make
• 12:28
  Speaker 1: your just redo your wedding. Just why use it for
• 12:32
  Speaker 1: your kids' wedding or like anybody else's wedding? So, yikes.
• 12:37
  Speaker 1: And that's the end of this story. We're good to go.
• 12:39
  Speaker 1: On to the next one.
• 12:41
  Speaker 2: My girlfriend got a pet for her small apartment without
• 12:45
  Speaker 2: my knowledge. Hey, get your small butt out of here.
• 12:49
  Speaker 2: For the last nine months or so, my girlfriend, 24 female,
• 12:53
  Speaker 2: has been asking me, 25 male, to get a pet.
• 12:56
  Speaker 2: At first, it was a dog or cat, and when
• 12:59
  Speaker 2: I said that I didn't think we were ready for it,
• 13:01
  Speaker 2: she would still bring it up until finally backing down,
• 13:04
  Speaker 2: or so I thought. Six months ago, it was her birthday,
• 13:08
  Speaker 2: and she brought up getting a pet again, and I
• 13:10
  Speaker 2: responded with the same reasons why. Small apartment, which I
• 13:13
  Speaker 2: would like to note that I pay for and is
• 13:15
  Speaker 2: in my name for transparency's sake. When I was younger,
• 13:18
  Speaker 2: I was allergic to cats, so I'm not sure if
• 13:21
  Speaker 2: I will be this time around cats. Or to what severity,
• 13:25
  Speaker 2: I feel our relationship is still too young to commit
• 13:27
  Speaker 2: to a pet. We have very different work hours, but
• 13:31
  Speaker 2: both each work in surplus of 40 hours a week,
• 13:35
  Speaker 2: sometimes as much as 60. A pet is an expensive
• 13:38
  Speaker 2: thing if you treat them properly, and right now I'm
• 13:41
  Speaker 2: very concerned with trying to pay off my student loan debt.
• 13:45
  Speaker 2: Not if you do it properly. If you do it properly,
• 13:48
  Speaker 2: it's going to cost a lot. But if you do it, like,
• 13:49
  Speaker 2: really stupidly, I just did not like how you, yeah.
• 13:53
  Speaker 2: How you did that.
• 13:55
  Speaker 3: It should always be properly. Yeah, I would hope that
• 13:58
  Speaker 3: you're always treating your pet properly.
• 14:00
  Speaker 2: I did tell her that I certainly want pets in
• 14:02
  Speaker 2: the future because I grew up with both cats and
• 14:04
  Speaker 2: dogs and love them both. But that time isn't right now.
• 14:08
  Speaker 2: By the way, this comes from Please No Pets. And
• 14:10
  Speaker 2: if you want to submit your own stories, go to
• 14:12
  Speaker 2: the r slash okay story time subreddit. I'm Savannah. I'm Sophia.
• 14:15
  Speaker 1: I'm Keon.
• 14:16
  Speaker 2: And we're here to give some good advice goofily, but
• 14:18
  Speaker 2: we don't have all your answers. We're only going to
• 14:19
  Speaker 2: talk about what we know. So let us know what
• 14:21
  Speaker 2: you know in the comments. As Opie says, the week
• 14:26
  Speaker 2: before her birthday, we agreed to get a fish instead.
• 14:29
  Speaker 2: It would bring life to our apartment, was low maintenance,
• 14:32
  Speaker 2: and felt like a good compromise. On her birthday, when
• 14:35
  Speaker 2: we were going to get one, she told me she
• 14:37
  Speaker 2: didn't want a fish and that she was hoping I'd
• 14:39
  Speaker 2: just reconsider for a cat or dog.
• 14:42
  Speaker 1: Uh, nope. That's upsetting.
• 14:44
  Speaker 2: And then you just go, no.
• 14:47
  Speaker 1: We did a compromise. It was a fish.
• 14:49
  Speaker 2: Yeah, sorry, no. So I said once again that I
• 14:52
  Speaker 2: wasn't ready for one and we got into another fight
• 14:55
  Speaker 2: about it. On and off for the last six months
• 14:57
  Speaker 2: she would say that she wanted a cat and kept
• 15:00
  Speaker 2: saying how low maintenance they are and how she would
• 15:02
  Speaker 2: be the one taking care of it. I insisted that
• 15:05
  Speaker 2: I didn't think we were ready for a pet yet
• 15:07
  Speaker 2: and that I wouldn't be ready until our living conditions,
• 15:09
  Speaker 2: work schedules, and finances changed a bit. She of course
• 15:13
  Speaker 2: disagreed and we have been arguing about it since. Until...
• 15:17
  Speaker 2: Last night. Oh, no. She finally agreed. Like, oh, yeah,
• 15:24
  Speaker 2: we're not ready. And she listened to you. That's what happened.
• 15:26
  Speaker 1: She got you guys a fish.
• 15:28
  Speaker 2: I think someone offered her a cat and she took it.
• 15:32
  Speaker 2: I don't think she went out and got one and
• 15:34
  Speaker 2: bought one. I think someone offered her one. And she's like, well,
• 15:37
  Speaker 2: I can't just leave it out. And I've always wanted to.
• 15:39
  Speaker 2: It was out in the cold. That is a different situation.
• 15:42
  Speaker 2: That's true. It is still crappy of her. The cat
• 15:43
  Speaker 2: calls to you. Yes, it is still crappy of her.
• 15:46
  Speaker 2: But then that's a different thing to talk about. Be like, oh,
• 15:48
  Speaker 2: he doesn't have a home. It's blah, blah, blah, all
• 15:49
  Speaker 2: this stuff. But if you're going out and deliberately just
• 15:52
  Speaker 2: going against your partner's wishes when he pays for the house.
• 15:55
  Speaker 2: You deliberately disobeyed me. Yeah, that's sad. Last night, after
• 16:01
  Speaker 2: I went to work, I work overnights, she messaged me
• 16:03
  Speaker 2: on Facebook and told me that she paid for and
• 16:06
  Speaker 2: brought a kitten home. Messed up.
• 16:09
  Speaker 1: She can't take no for an answer.
• 16:11
  Speaker 2: Yeah, and that's when I'm like, hey.
• 16:12
  Speaker 3: Like, We talked about this, and I feel very upset
• 16:15
  Speaker 3: that you went by my back and did this anyway.
• 16:16
  Speaker 1: Exactly. I think we should break up. What do you
• 16:18
  Speaker 1: think about that? She says no.
• 16:19
  Speaker 3: Oh, wait.
• 16:20
  Speaker 2: Weird, because I also have a say in this.
• 16:23
  Speaker 3: That's so funny, because remember when you did something behind
• 16:25
  Speaker 3: my back?
• 16:26
  Speaker 2: I was absolutely shocked that she would do this. I
• 16:29
  Speaker 2: feel completely disrespected, and my feelings about it are worthless.
• 16:34
  Speaker 2: We argued about it a lot. At first, I didn't
• 16:37
  Speaker 2: know what to say, but it felt like I had
• 16:39
  Speaker 2: to seem incredibly upset, because I am. and don't want
• 16:42
  Speaker 2: to make it seem like I'll let this all be okay,
• 16:45
  Speaker 2: but now we seem to be at a standstill. She
• 16:49
  Speaker 2: says she's keeping the kitten, and I told her to
• 16:52
  Speaker 2: bring it back after work today. I do love my girlfriend,
• 16:55
  Speaker 2: but I feel like this violates any kind of partnership
• 16:58
  Speaker 2: I thought we had. She said she thinks I try
• 17:01
  Speaker 2: to act more like a figurehead in our relationship than
• 17:04
  Speaker 2: a partner, and maybe that is the case, but this
• 17:06
  Speaker 2: certainly isn't what a partnership should be like, right? No,
• 17:10
  Speaker 2: it's not. It's not at all.
• 17:11
  Speaker 3: And I think that's super disrespectful, not only as your partner,
• 17:14
  Speaker 3: but also as your roommate.
• 17:18
  Speaker 4: It's okay.
• 17:18
  Speaker 2: It's just the book.
• 17:21
  Speaker 3: But like as your roommate, I think it's very disrespectful,
• 17:23
  Speaker 3: especially when you said I am allergic.
• 17:26
  Speaker 2: Update. Long update. Shortly after I posted my original thread,
• 17:31
  Speaker 2: I got home from work and found the kitten. Girlfriend
• 17:34
  Speaker 2: had already left for work before I got home. Because
• 17:37
  Speaker 2: it was so young and playful, it mewed. when I
• 17:40
  Speaker 2: left it in the kitchen slash living room with the
• 17:42
  Speaker 2: doors closed to the bedroom so that it wouldn't wake
• 17:45
  Speaker 2: me while I slept during the day. It was heartbreaking
• 17:49
  Speaker 2: to feel like I was ignoring her and the thought
• 17:51
  Speaker 2: of no one being able to play and care for
• 17:53
  Speaker 2: her was exactly what I feared about getting a pet
• 17:56
  Speaker 2: when I said to my girlfriend that I didn't think
• 17:58
  Speaker 2: we were ready yet. Before I fell asleep, I texted
• 18:02
  Speaker 2: my girlfriend at work telling her all of this and
• 18:04
  Speaker 2: how awful it made me feel. I fell asleep. When
• 18:07
  Speaker 2: I woke up, I read through the comments that all
• 18:09
  Speaker 2: of you left me, laid in bed for a little bit,
• 18:11
  Speaker 2: and then girlfriend came home. I reiterated how badly it
• 18:14
  Speaker 2: made me feel not being able to take care of
• 18:16
  Speaker 2: the little kitten and how it only solidified in my
• 18:19
  Speaker 2: head that we weren't ready for a pet. I took
• 18:22
  Speaker 2: some suggestions that others had offered, such as giving her
• 18:25
  Speaker 2: a hard expectancy date for when we could get a
• 18:28
  Speaker 2: pet and what stipulations would allow that, but she didn't
• 18:32
  Speaker 2: want to hear it. I asked her to bring it back,
• 18:34
  Speaker 2: give it to her parents or someone else, but she
• 18:37
  Speaker 2: just flat out said no. We argued about some of
• 18:41
  Speaker 2: the stuff I mentioned in the original post about how
• 18:43
  Speaker 2: she felt I was more of a figurehead and some
• 18:45
  Speaker 2: other things until I took a shower. I considered everything
• 18:49
  Speaker 2: you guys had said, some of which I did or
• 18:52
  Speaker 2: did not agree with, as well as my own thoughts
• 18:55
  Speaker 2: on the matter. And when I stepped out of the shower,
• 18:57
  Speaker 2: she had fallen asleep on the couch. For another half hour,
• 19:01
  Speaker 2: I thought about things over and over in my mind
• 19:04
  Speaker 2: until I finally made a decision I felt there was
• 19:06
  Speaker 2: no going back from. I walked up to her. She
• 19:10
  Speaker 2: woke up and I said, I don't think this is
• 19:13
  Speaker 2: a healthy relationship anymore and I think you should move out.
• 19:16
  Speaker 2: And then I walked out. This was three weeks ago.
• 19:20
  Speaker 2: That first night was the hardest for me. I missed
• 19:24
  Speaker 2: her next to me in bed, especially when I came
• 19:26
  Speaker 2: home from work in the morning. And being with her
• 19:28
  Speaker 2: doing everyday things like grocery shopping and at that point
• 19:31
  Speaker 2: wasn't sure if I actually wanted this. She moved in
• 19:34
  Speaker 2: with a friend because she doesn't have family from around
• 19:37
  Speaker 2: here and we were texting semi-regularly.
• 19:39
  Speaker 4: About our relationship.
• 19:41
  Speaker 2: She said that she thought it was best we didn't
• 19:43
  Speaker 2: live together for now. She said she felt like she
• 19:46
  Speaker 2: was in a harmful relationship. not physically but emotionally that
• 19:52
  Speaker 2: because i asked her to move out it took away
• 19:54
  Speaker 2: the safety she felt while with me i'm gonna pause
• 19:58
  Speaker 2: he op does not from how he is feeling about
• 20:02
  Speaker 2: this and how he has perceived himself through his text
• 20:05
  Speaker 2: I do not believe that he would be harmful. He
• 20:08
  Speaker 2: does not seem that way.
• 20:09
  Speaker 3: She's accusing him? I was trying to understand what she
• 20:12
  Speaker 3: was trying to say.
• 20:13
  Speaker 2: She's accusing him? She's accusing him of being harmful because
• 20:16
  Speaker 2: he kicked her out. And she was like, that was
• 20:18
  Speaker 2: my safety. I don't have anywhere else to go. So
• 20:21
  Speaker 2: now she moved in with a friend. That's ridiculous. It's
• 20:26
  Speaker 2: not like I randomly was like, all right, you got
• 20:27
  Speaker 2: to go. You chose to disobey my rules in my
• 20:31
  Speaker 2: home that I pay for.
• 20:32
  Speaker 4: Yeah.
• 20:33
  Speaker 3: And I said, hey, can we talk about this?
• 20:35
  Speaker 2: You said no. Yeah. You don't. Your name is not
• 20:38
  Speaker 2: on the lease.
• 20:39
  Speaker 1: Yeah.
• 20:40
  Speaker 2: And it's just like, OP seems like they're really trying
• 20:42
  Speaker 2: to make this work. Like he felt bad. He's like,
• 20:44
  Speaker 2: it's not that I am mad at her, you know,
• 20:47
  Speaker 2: for doing that. Obviously I'm disappointed and I feel disrespected,
• 20:50
  Speaker 2: but it's more so I feel bad for the cat.
• 20:52
  Speaker 2: Cause I'm not going to be here to take care
• 20:54
  Speaker 2: of it. Exactly. Like she's not even a good cat parent.
• 20:57
  Speaker 2: And she he also never flat out was like never
• 21:00
  Speaker 2: getting one. He said when we can.
• 21:02
  Speaker 3: He said he said when we're at a stage in
• 21:04
  Speaker 3: our life and relationship where I feel more comfortable and ready.
• 21:09
  Speaker 2: Sure. But but then she took that as. Oh, right now. Yeah.
• 21:13
  Speaker 1: Well, the thing is, she heard was we can get
• 21:15
  Speaker 1: a cat.
• 21:15
  Speaker 2: She heard we're getting a cat.
• 21:17
  Speaker 1: So he said yes on a technicality. Well.
• 21:20
  Speaker 2: It's just like you, I never said, I never flat
• 21:23
  Speaker 2: out told you no. But then when you did something
• 21:26
  Speaker 2: that you deliberately did against my wishes, you can say no? Yeah,
• 21:30
  Speaker 2: that's ridiculous. Like double standard.
• 21:33
  Speaker 1: Bye.
• 21:34
  Speaker 2: I told her that if I had a child who
• 21:36
  Speaker 2: felt like they were in a harmful relationship, I wouldn't
• 21:39
  Speaker 2: want them to be with their partner either. So if
• 21:42
  Speaker 2: that was her decision, I would support it. I knew
• 21:45
  Speaker 2: that wouldn't be good for our pseudo relationship. but I
• 21:49
  Speaker 2: agreed that it might be better she move out. The
• 21:51
  Speaker 2: second week, we got together a couple times and talked
• 21:54
  Speaker 2: face to face. She admitted that it was wrong to
• 21:57
  Speaker 2: bring home a pet like she did without me on board.
• 22:00
  Speaker 2: She also told me she bought a pack of cigarettes
• 22:03
  Speaker 2: and smoked two of them before her friend told her
• 22:06
  Speaker 2: to throw it out. Before that, she hadn't smoked in
• 22:09
  Speaker 2: over a year because I asked her not to anymore.
• 22:12
  Speaker 2: It unalived me because I really thought she wanted to
• 22:15
  Speaker 2: make those kinds of positive steps in her life For
• 22:18
  Speaker 2: more than just me, but I was wrong.
• 22:20
  Speaker 3: She's guilt tripping you. She's absolutely guilt tripping you. She's like, oh,
• 22:24
  Speaker 3: since you punted me out, I've gone back to smoking.
• 22:28
  Speaker 1: I'm waiting for her to say the words of, you
• 22:30
  Speaker 1: made me do this.
• 22:31
  Speaker 2: Yeah, like, you led me to this. All of this
• 22:33
  Speaker 2: sent things in the wrong direction again, despite it seeming
• 22:37
  Speaker 2: like we were actually going to try and work on
• 22:39
  Speaker 2: our dynamic and make things healthier for both of us.
• 22:42
  Speaker 2: This past weekend, we went to a friend's engagement party together.
• 22:46
  Speaker 2: Things were okay there, but the following day she went
• 22:48
  Speaker 2: camping with her family and then came over to see
• 22:51
  Speaker 2: me last night. I had a feeling things weren't going
• 22:54
  Speaker 2: to be the same. We had stopped texting frequently, rarely
• 22:59
  Speaker 2: saw each other over the last few weeks, and when
• 23:01
  Speaker 2: we did talk, it was mostly platonic subjects. It felt
• 23:05
  Speaker 2: over and I felt lost. And also, I'm hot. Anyone
• 23:10
  Speaker 2: else really hot or what? I'm perfect.
• 23:13
  Speaker 1: I'm very hot.
• 23:14
  Speaker 3: We need to get you another fan. We need to
• 23:16
  Speaker 3: get you two fans. We need to get... He needs
• 23:19
  Speaker 3: 12 fans. I feel like you could get fans that
• 23:22
  Speaker 3: could attach to the computer or something.
• 23:24
  Speaker 2: Yeah, a little fan. You need a little fan. Get
• 23:27
  Speaker 2: this man a little fan. Last night, she told me
• 23:29
  Speaker 2: she thinks we should break up. Dude, he already broke
• 23:32
  Speaker 2: up with you. What do you mean? I think they
• 23:35
  Speaker 2: were on a break, but... Yeah. She moved out, though,
• 23:37
  Speaker 2: so I just considered... If you're moving out, you're broken up.
• 23:40
  Speaker 2: I'm not going to move all my stuff back in.
• 23:42
  Speaker 2: I just hope she's.
• 23:44
  Speaker 1: Not bad mouthing you or like talking about you in
• 23:47
  Speaker 1: a bad manner because of your boundary and the disrespect
• 23:51
  Speaker 1: she did.
• 23:52
  Speaker 2: She felt that we have too much baggage and we'd
• 23:55
  Speaker 2: be too resentful of one another to be able to
• 23:57
  Speaker 2: continue forward. I thought we were on the verge of
• 24:00
  Speaker 2: working through things, but I guess she did not. She
• 24:03
  Speaker 2: said she still wants things to be amicable because we were.
• 24:08
  Speaker 2: After all, great friends. I told her that I couldn't
• 24:11
  Speaker 2: be just friends and it would hurt too much to
• 24:14
  Speaker 2: see what she's doing with and with whom without me too.
• 24:18
  Speaker 2: We both still love each other. We both told each
• 24:21
  Speaker 2: other that. I told her that I probably will always
• 24:24
  Speaker 2: love her. We hugged for a couple minutes and then
• 24:26
  Speaker 2: she left. And that's it. Wow.
• 24:29
  Speaker 1: What? You know what?
• 24:31
  Speaker 2: Needed to be done. Needed to be done. Yeah, OP,
• 24:34
  Speaker 2: I feel like you're too nice of a person to
• 24:35
  Speaker 2: be with someone like this who's just... blatantly disrespecting your boundaries.
• 24:40
  Speaker 3: I agree. Just not even like giving it a second thought.
• 24:43
  Speaker 3: And I think even she knows. I think she's like,
• 24:45
  Speaker 3: you know what? This wasn't healthy. And then hopefully she
• 24:49
  Speaker 3: makes the realization of like, oh, wow, my, you know,
• 24:54
  Speaker 3: ability to resist and not, you know, fall into bad
• 24:58
  Speaker 3: habits was directly tied to this relationship.
• 25:00
  Speaker 2: And I need.
• 25:01
  Speaker 3: To figure out how to not, you know, have that happen.
• 25:06
  Speaker 1: And that's the end of this story. we're gonna go
• 25:08
  Speaker 1: on to the next one. Hey, it's Keon, the silliest goose.
• 25:12
  Speaker 1: We're going to get back to the stories, but here's
• 25:14
  Speaker 1: three minutes of ads from our sponsors.
• 25:16
  Speaker 3: My boyfriend talked behind my back to his friends, then
• 25:19
  Speaker 3: one of them confirmed it.
• 25:22
  Speaker 2: Oh, get rid of them.
• 25:23
  Speaker 3: For background, my boyfriend and I have been together for
• 25:26
  Speaker 3: seven months. After meeting on a dating app three months
• 25:30
  Speaker 3: before that.
• 25:31
  Speaker 2: Okay. This is my first relationship.
• 25:34
  Speaker 1: Ooh.
• 25:35
  Speaker 2: Okay. And he means everything to me. Oh, no. Calm yourself.
• 25:40
  Speaker 3: Even though I know it hasn't been a year yet.
• 25:42
  Speaker 3: He's smart, ambitious, kind, and we agree on all the
• 25:45
  Speaker 3: things that matter, like politics and morality. My boyfriend is
• 25:48
  Speaker 3: someone who tries very hard with everything in life. His academics,
• 25:53
  Speaker 3: his physical health, his friendships. He works very hard to
• 25:56
  Speaker 3: maintain quality in all aspects of his life.
• 25:59
  Speaker 1: What a tryhard.
• 26:00
  Speaker 2: Yeah. Loser. Aw, nerd.
• 26:04
  Speaker 3: However, I am the complete opposite. And that's where the
• 26:08
  Speaker 3: conflict comes from. I am someone who's just flunked her
• 26:11
  Speaker 3: first year of university, cannot maintain consistency in the gym,
• 26:15
  Speaker 3: barely studies, and barely keeps in contact with her best friends.
• 26:20
  Speaker 3: He has an issue with this. He feels as though
• 26:22
  Speaker 3: because of my lack of action to improve my life
• 26:24
  Speaker 3: with my own intrinsic desire, he has to motivate me
• 26:29
  Speaker 3: to get out and do something with my life, which
• 26:32
  Speaker 3: is exhausting. As a result, he feels burnt out from
• 26:35
  Speaker 3: our relationship. By the way, this comes from SomeIntention3669, and
• 26:39
  Speaker 3: if you want to submit your own stories, go to
• 26:40
  Speaker 3: the r slash showcase story time subreddit.
• 26:42
  Speaker 2: I'm Sophia. I'm Savannah.
• 26:44
  Speaker 1: I'm Keon.
• 26:45
  Speaker 3: And we're here to give good advice goofily, but we
• 26:48
  Speaker 3: don't have all the answers. We only know what we'd do,
• 26:50
  Speaker 3: so let us know what you would do in the comments.
• 26:52
  Speaker 3: And Opie says, We have had multiple conversations that usually
• 26:55
  Speaker 3: start with me being a lazy bum and him saying
• 26:58
  Speaker 3: that he needs someone who is able to persist in
• 27:01
  Speaker 3: hard situations in his life. and that he wants me
• 27:04
  Speaker 3: to be this person. These conversations will usually contain both
• 27:08
  Speaker 3: of us coming up with systems for me to become
• 27:10
  Speaker 3: a more productive person, me being apologetic and saying that
• 27:14
  Speaker 3: I want to change my life to become a better
• 27:16
  Speaker 3: version of myself, and me promising to change.
• 27:20
  Speaker 2: The issue is that I.
• 27:21
  Speaker 3: Seem to never change, and I don't know or understand why.
• 27:25
  Speaker 2: Can we pause?
• 27:26
  Speaker 3: Yes.
• 27:26
  Speaker 2: I think she's depressed. I agree. I think you are
• 27:29
  Speaker 2: mentally drained by something, whether that is something that has
• 27:34
  Speaker 2: uh now caused you to you know look look in
• 27:39
  Speaker 2: within yourself and be like oh and i think he's
• 27:41
  Speaker 2: a constant reminder of the things that you're not doing
• 27:43
  Speaker 2: yes so i think that that is also there's a
• 27:46
  Speaker 2: little tension here and there i also just don't think
• 27:49
  Speaker 2: that you're ready for this relationship.
• 27:51
  Speaker 1: Yeah this is something that you probably have to work
• 27:54
  Speaker 1: on on your own and.
• 27:55
  Speaker 2: It's not his job job yeah I will.
• 27:59
  Speaker 3: Go for two to three weeks with a new system
• 28:01
  Speaker 3: and then burn out soon after. So clearly something's not
• 28:04
  Speaker 3: working for you. The only thing that is stuck is
• 28:07
  Speaker 3: me not doom scrolling anymore.
• 28:09
  Speaker 2: That's honestly very impressive.
• 28:11
  Speaker 3: We thought that was the main issue, but it's just
• 28:12
  Speaker 3: my discipline. I've also promised him that I won't see
• 28:15
  Speaker 3: a counselor, but I never did and I feel horribly guilty.
• 28:18
  Speaker 2: Okay, well, yeah. Oh, yeah.
• 28:20
  Speaker 3: OP, I feel like you guys got to break up.
• 28:23
  Speaker 2: He's trying so hard.
• 28:24
  Speaker 1: I think he's ready to break up. I mean, you
• 28:26
  Speaker 1: already checked out. He seems like he's checked out.
• 28:28
  Speaker 3: I want to like really quickly put this in a
• 28:31
  Speaker 3: different lens. If you had a partner who told you, oh,
• 28:35
  Speaker 3: you know, I'm committed to you. I'm not seeing anyone else.
• 28:39
  Speaker 3: And then you found out they lied and they cheated
• 28:40
  Speaker 3: on you.
• 28:41
  Speaker 2: Would you not break up?
• 28:43
  Speaker 3: Obviously this is not a cheating situation, but it is
• 28:45
  Speaker 3: a constant lying saying I will do something promising and
• 28:50
  Speaker 3: then lying, which.
• 28:51
  Speaker 2: I don't want to be with a liar. No, it's like, like, I,
• 28:55
  Speaker 2: with my ex, I told him, I was like, you
• 28:57
  Speaker 2: need therapy. I mean, he's gone through a bunch of stuff.
• 28:59
  Speaker 2: He was just messed up. And I was like, you
• 29:01
  Speaker 2: just need therapy. I think it would help you so
• 29:02
  Speaker 2: much to realize, oh, when I'm angry, I should react
• 29:05
  Speaker 2: this way, not the other way. You know, whatever.
• 29:06
  Speaker 3: People need to come to that conclusion on their own.
• 29:08
  Speaker 2: Exactly. But then he would go, but then the first
• 29:10
  Speaker 2: time he went was when I broke up with him.
• 29:13
  Speaker 2: And then when we got back together, he stopped going.
• 29:15
  Speaker 2: I'm like, God, you're doing it backwards.
• 29:18
  Speaker 3: If he continues, just now we had another conversation that
• 29:21
  Speaker 3: stemmed from me not being able to have Confronting intellectual
• 29:24
  Speaker 3: conversations about politics and media without crying. And then another
• 29:29
  Speaker 3: conversation occurred where we talked about the same things mentioned. Wait,
• 29:32
  Speaker 3: you can't talk about media without crying?
• 29:35
  Speaker 2: What are you talking about? She's not doom-scrolling anymore. She
• 29:38
  Speaker 2: doesn't know what's real. What is? like, I thought the
• 29:41
  Speaker 2: Odyssey and the special effects were really good. Argos. They
• 29:47
  Speaker 2: used jet skis to create the world.
• 29:51
  Speaker 1: Anyway.
• 29:51
  Speaker 3: We also had a break, which I asked for, because
• 29:55
  Speaker 3: I needed time to think about our relationship.
• 29:57
  Speaker 1: Seven months in? Or ten months fully?
• 29:59
  Speaker 3: But yeah, that's just 10 months of dating. Seven months
• 30:01
  Speaker 3: into the relationship. You need to end this relationship.
• 30:04
  Speaker 2: This is not healthy. I agree. Duchess, she's lying to
• 30:08
  Speaker 2: herself the most.
• 30:09
  Speaker 1: There you go.
• 30:10
  Speaker 3: I felt so guilty that he was holding on to
• 30:13
  Speaker 3: our relationship despite me hurting him through broken promises of change.
• 30:17
  Speaker 3: And I thought I was a horrible person for continuing
• 30:20
  Speaker 3: to stay with him despite hurting him.
• 30:22
  Speaker 2: You're not a horrible person. You are a bad partner.
• 30:24
  Speaker 2: And you have to learn that. And I think she
• 30:26
  Speaker 2: does know that, but she can't change it. And that's just, like,
• 30:30
  Speaker 2: weird to me. You know the issue. Why are you
• 30:33
  Speaker 2: not taking steps towards, you know, making this... Like, if
• 30:37
  Speaker 2: you took steps towards it, that is helping not only you,
• 30:40
  Speaker 2: but the relationship.
• 30:41
  Speaker 4: Like, what?
• 30:42
  Speaker 3: I want to change for the better, but I'm not
• 30:44
  Speaker 3: sure where to start.
• 30:45
  Speaker 2: Please help.
• 30:46
  Speaker 3: I really want to stay with him. And we do
• 30:48
  Speaker 3: have some extra background. Previously, he had a good friend
• 30:51
  Speaker 3: named Mark. Mark had a girlfriend, Sierra.
• 30:54
  Speaker 1: Oh.
• 30:55
  Speaker 2: Well, this is the main post. So, I think that
• 30:56
  Speaker 2: was just, like, background information. So.
• 31:00
  Speaker 3: Before we get into that main post, what would be
• 31:03
  Speaker 3: your advice?
• 31:04
  Speaker 1: Say that sentence one more time, that last one.
• 31:06
  Speaker 2: Please help, I really want to stay with him.
• 31:08
  Speaker 1: Does he really want to stay with you?
• 31:10
  Speaker 3: I mean, that is the question, yes. But, I mean, like, yeah,
• 31:15
  Speaker 3: what is your advice for both of you?
• 31:17
  Speaker 1: If, OP, you've said it, you feel guilty for doing
• 31:22
  Speaker 1: this to him time and time again, how do you
• 31:24
  Speaker 1: think he feels when you fail him time and time again?
• 31:28
  Speaker 2: It's it's he's as stuck as you are. It's like
• 31:30
  Speaker 2: you're feeling bad, but you're still not doing anything about it.
• 31:33
  Speaker 2: So you're just sitting there. And like, I completely understand
• 31:37
  Speaker 2: the where do I start? You know, please help. I
• 31:40
  Speaker 2: don't know where to start. The first thing you need
• 31:42
  Speaker 2: to do. find a therapist, go to counseling, go somewhere
• 31:47
  Speaker 2: where you can express this because getting professional help is going,
• 31:50
  Speaker 2: that's just the first place to start. And then they're
• 31:53
  Speaker 2: going to give you all the tools you need to
• 31:56
  Speaker 2: be like, this and that and the other thing. Now
• 31:58
  Speaker 2: it's making sense why I'm procrastinating. why I'm doing all this.
• 32:02
  Speaker 3: Your boyfriend is not a trained therapist.
• 32:04
  Speaker 2: Exactly. And he can only do so much. Like, and
• 32:08
  Speaker 2: no person should have that burden on them to not
• 32:11
  Speaker 2: only help themselves, but then to help you figure out
• 32:14
  Speaker 2: your life for seven months, you know, come on. Like
• 32:17
  Speaker 2: you have to be an adult now. I understand, you know, you're,
• 32:20
  Speaker 2: something's happening to you. You're going through some sort of
• 32:23
  Speaker 2: transitional period where, You need to get help for this.
• 32:26
  Speaker 2: You don't know where to go. You don't know how
• 32:28
  Speaker 2: to navigate it. There is help for that. But Kian,
• 32:30
  Speaker 2: what do you think?
• 32:31
  Speaker 1: You should also not be doing it. Yes, you want
• 32:34
  Speaker 1: to do it for your relationship, but you shouldn't be
• 32:36
  Speaker 1: just doing it for him. You should be doing it
• 32:38
  Speaker 1: for yourself, mainly for yourself, because you know this is
• 32:41
  Speaker 1: a recurring issue for you. And yes, it will help
• 32:44
  Speaker 1: your relationship with him or with other people. Because if
• 32:46
  Speaker 1: this is something you're doing with your relationship with someone
• 32:48
  Speaker 1: you care about.
• 32:49
  Speaker 2: Her friendships have not been doing well.
• 32:51
  Speaker 1: Yeah. So that definitely ties into your everyday life.
• 32:54
  Speaker 3: And you might not be able to do that with him.
• 32:57
  Speaker 1: You need a metamorphosis. Yeah.
• 32:59
  Speaker 2: You're alone. You don't, you know, you're not really keeping
• 33:02
  Speaker 2: up with your friendships. Like we are humans. We need
• 33:04
  Speaker 2: to communicate. We need to, we are social creatures. We,
• 33:08
  Speaker 2: you know, even that means even if that's communicating online
• 33:10
  Speaker 2: or whatever, like it's just like something you just have to.
• 33:14
  Speaker 3: But we got the main post. Previously, Opie's boyfriend had
• 33:18
  Speaker 3: a good friend named Mark. Mark had a girlfriend, Sierra,
• 33:21
  Speaker 3: who I had become friends with after I started dating
• 33:24
  Speaker 3: my boyfriend. After a while, Cassie joined the friend group
• 33:27
  Speaker 3: when she started dating Tom. Sierra started telling Cassie that
• 33:31
  Speaker 3: she was worried for me as apparently my boyfriend wasn't
• 33:34
  Speaker 3: the nicest person and would.
• 33:35
  Speaker 2: Talk behind my back.
• 33:37
  Speaker 3: This led to a whole situation where Sierra had essentially
• 33:40
  Speaker 3: tried to break my boyfriend and me up. When I
• 33:43
  Speaker 3: asked my boyfriend why she would ever do such a thing,
• 33:46
  Speaker 3: he said that Sierra had always had it out for
• 33:48
  Speaker 3: him and that I shouldn't believe her. This was easy
• 33:51
  Speaker 3: to believe due to Sierra's own erratic behavior, so I
• 33:54
  Speaker 3: brushed it off and stopped contact with her. A couple
• 33:58
  Speaker 3: of nights ago, my boyfriend and I had gotten into
• 34:01
  Speaker 3: an argument regarding boundaries as I had given his friend
• 34:05
  Speaker 3: Tom's girlfriend condolences. Cassie advice regarding an issue they had.
• 34:11
  Speaker 3: Tom is an English major, meaning that he has an
• 34:14
  Speaker 3: extended vocabulary and often speaks in a confusing way to
• 34:17
  Speaker 3: most people. Whereas Cassie doesn't have a tertiary education and
• 34:21
  Speaker 3: therefore has a difficult time communicating the point she wants
• 34:24
  Speaker 3: to make. As a result, Cassie has come to me
• 34:27
  Speaker 3: for advice, and I obliged, helping her structure her thoughts
• 34:31
  Speaker 3: and argument. I thought that all I did was help
• 34:33
  Speaker 3: a friend in need have a productive conversation with her boyfriend.
• 34:37
  Speaker 3: During that conversation with Cassie, I had made a jab
• 34:40
  Speaker 3: at Tom, saying that for someone who cares about societal issues,
• 34:44
  Speaker 3: he sure as heck isn't well-read on women's issues.
• 34:47
  Speaker 2: Oh, you got Tom. Got him. Was it a mean jab? Yeah,
• 34:52
  Speaker 2: but was it true?
• 34:53
  Speaker 1: Yeah.
• 34:55
  Speaker 3: Well, that jab wasn't appreciated by my boyfriend, who read
• 34:58
  Speaker 3: the message I sent after Tom showed him. He then
• 35:01
  Speaker 3: had a conversation with me saying, saying that first, I
• 35:04
  Speaker 3: am not well read up on anything, so I am
• 35:07
  Speaker 3: in no position to make that comment.
• 35:09
  Speaker 1: Okay.
• 35:10
  Speaker 3: Second, that I was grossly overstepping boundaries and imposing on
• 35:13
  Speaker 3: their relationship. And third, that my actions could potentially impact
• 35:17
  Speaker 3: his 10-year friendship with Tom, which he didn't want. He
• 35:21
  Speaker 3: suggested that I stop my communication and friendship with Cassie,
• 35:24
  Speaker 3: worrying that it would lead to a repeat of the
• 35:26
  Speaker 3: situation with Sierra.
• 35:28
  Speaker 2: This is concerning, too. Now it seems like he's trying to.
• 35:32
  Speaker 3: It seems I'm a little bit worried that this has
• 35:35
  Speaker 3: gone from a situation where your boyfriend was just trying
• 35:37
  Speaker 3: to help and was maybe becoming overwhelmed to a situation
• 35:40
  Speaker 3: where he feels the need.
• 35:42
  Speaker 2: To be your savior.
• 35:44
  Speaker 1: Or the fixer. Yes.
• 35:45
  Speaker 3: And that dips into control. I agreed and said that
• 35:50
  Speaker 3: I would text Cassie about it, but he told me
• 35:52
  Speaker 3: to just slowly stop contact and block her. I disagreed,
• 35:56
  Speaker 3: saying that I don't end friendships that way and that
• 35:59
  Speaker 3: she deserves to know the gist of why we can't
• 36:01
  Speaker 3: be friends. A couple of days later, two days ago
• 36:04
  Speaker 3: to be exact, I called Cassie telling her that we
• 36:07
  Speaker 3: should minimize contact so that we no longer cross that
• 36:10
  Speaker 3: boundary and highlighting that I felt bad for the comment
• 36:13
  Speaker 3: I made about Tom. She then told me that Tom
• 36:15
  Speaker 3: had never had an issue with what I had said
• 36:19
  Speaker 3: and that although it was jarring at first, he actually
• 36:21
  Speaker 3: appreciated me calling him out as it was true. It
• 36:24
  Speaker 3: turns out that it was originally my boyfriend's sister who
• 36:27
  Speaker 3: said I was imposing and she told him to get
• 36:30
  Speaker 3: me to stop being friends with Cassie. My boyfriend was
• 36:33
  Speaker 3: making an issue out of something the victim, quote unquote,
• 36:37
  Speaker 3: didn't deem to be an issue. Tom had also apologized
• 36:40
  Speaker 3: to my boyfriend, saying that he had been a bad
• 36:42
  Speaker 3: friend for not calling out my boyfriend on how.
• 36:45
  Speaker 2: He treats me and that he should have done it sooner.
• 36:48
  Speaker 3: Cassie then texts me after our call, telling me that
• 36:51
  Speaker 3: there was something she forgot to mention. She told me
• 36:54
  Speaker 3: that our boyfriend, throughout our relationship, had been calling me
• 36:57
  Speaker 3: names behind my back to his friends, was constantly complaining
• 37:02
  Speaker 3: about me, And had once made a remark about how
• 37:04
  Speaker 3: I looked in front of everyone when I wasn't there.
• 37:07
  Speaker 1: Then why is he dating you?
• 37:09
  Speaker 2: I think he's the fixer.
• 37:11
  Speaker 1: Do you think it's a superiority complex?
• 37:14
  Speaker 2: Absolutely.
• 37:15
  Speaker 3: I think he feels better. I think he's like, I'm smart.
• 37:17
  Speaker 3: I'm capable.
• 37:18
  Speaker 2: And I have this little project. Yes.
• 37:21
  Speaker 3: His family friend, who was almost like a second dad
• 37:23
  Speaker 3: to him, had met me for the first time and
• 37:25
  Speaker 3: told my boyfriend he was pulling above his weight. And
• 37:29
  Speaker 3: my boyfriend responded, not without the kilo of makeup on
• 37:32
  Speaker 3: her face.
• 37:33
  Speaker 2: Wow. Okay, so you don't like me then.
• 37:37
  Speaker 1: Did he just burn himself though?
• 37:39
  Speaker 2: Wow. Okay, now I don't like him. I don't understand.
• 37:43
  Speaker 3: I'm sorry. When someone tells me that my boyfriend is hot,
• 37:45
  Speaker 3: I'm like.
• 37:46
  Speaker 2: I know. Oh, thank you. Yeah, I feel great. Yeah,
• 37:49
  Speaker 2: me too. I take it as a compliment.
• 37:51
  Speaker 4: I'm like, yes.
• 37:52
  Speaker 3: At first, I couldn't believe it, thinking that this was
• 37:55
  Speaker 3: going to be another Sierra situation. But then Tom, his
• 37:58
  Speaker 3: friend of 10 years, confirmed it. I was in shock,
• 38:02
  Speaker 3: in total disbelief that during the entirety of our relationship,
• 38:06
  Speaker 3: he had been talking badly behind my back when not
• 38:09
  Speaker 3: once have I ever brought up our relationship issues to
• 38:11
  Speaker 3: my own friends. He has told me multiple times that
• 38:14
  Speaker 3: he doesn't want to meet my friends out of fear
• 38:16
  Speaker 3: they will manipulate how I see him.
• 38:19
  Speaker 2: Yikes, girl. This guy.
• 38:21
  Speaker 1: That was some pretty big context in the beginning of
• 38:24
  Speaker 1: your relationship. Wow.
• 38:25
  Speaker 2: Yeah. I was like, oh, I feel so bad for him. Yeah.
• 38:28
  Speaker 1: Nope.
• 38:29
  Speaker 2: Now we know what's making you depressed. Yeah. I was distraught.
• 38:34
  Speaker 3: Crying the whole of yesterday, figuring out what to do.
• 38:36
  Speaker 3: And also makes sense why she said that her relationships
• 38:40
  Speaker 3: have not been doing well.
• 38:41
  Speaker 2: If he's telling her to cut them off. Yeah. Oh, bye.
• 38:45
  Speaker 3: I was adamant I was going to break up with
• 38:47
  Speaker 3: him or at least take a break. So last night
• 38:49
  Speaker 3: we were calling like we always do as we like
• 38:51
  Speaker 3: to sleep on call. Throughout that call, he was saying
• 38:53
  Speaker 3: he loved me and used my pet name saying that
• 38:56
  Speaker 3: we would go on a nice date the next day.
• 38:58
  Speaker 3: And he asked to go grab the corn dogs that
• 38:59
  Speaker 3: we couldn't get last time. I don't know what happened,
• 39:02
  Speaker 3: but I just couldn't hold it in anymore. I think
• 39:04
  Speaker 3: it was because I was planning on having a tough
• 39:06
  Speaker 3: conversation with him that day. so hearing him talk about
• 39:09
  Speaker 3: the nice date he wanted us to go on made
• 39:11
  Speaker 3: me break. I started quietly sniffing, hoping he wouldn't notice.
• 39:16
  Speaker 3: Just when we were about to sleep, I sniffed too loudly,
• 39:19
  Speaker 3: and he asked me if I was alright. I said
• 39:21
  Speaker 3: that I was, but he pushed. At that point, I
• 39:23
  Speaker 3: felt that there was no use hiding it anymore, so
• 39:26
  Speaker 3: I told him that I was upset with him and
• 39:28
  Speaker 3: that I had heard stuff from credit sources we had
• 39:31
  Speaker 3: a long conversation that ended up with us breaking up
• 39:34
  Speaker 3: now i'm thinking that i had blown this way out
• 39:36
  Speaker 3: of proportion that i was being too rash and that
• 39:38
  Speaker 3: i now regret with all my heart having had this
• 39:41
  Speaker 3: conversation over the phone i miss him so much now
• 39:44
  Speaker 3: and i hate that i wasn't able to hug him
• 39:45
  Speaker 3: kiss his forehead and smell his hair one last time
• 39:48
  Speaker 3: i'm hurting so much and I don't know if I
• 39:50
  Speaker 3: made the right decision. I just need some advice on
• 39:53
  Speaker 3: how to move forward, whether I should contact him to
• 39:56
  Speaker 3: meet in person for closure, or if I should just
• 39:59
  Speaker 3: let it all go. I wronged him in the past,
• 40:01
  Speaker 3: and he has forgiven me for all those times, and
• 40:05
  Speaker 3: I'm just wondering if I wasn't empathetic enough.
• 40:07
  Speaker 2: Girly pop.
• 40:08
  Speaker 1: First relationship, remember. First relationship.
• 40:10
  Speaker 2: This makes some, okay.
• 40:12
  Speaker 3: No, you're not in the wrong. Stay broken up. You
• 40:16
  Speaker 3: did good, and I'm glad that you got out You know,
• 40:20
  Speaker 3: seven months in.
• 40:21
  Speaker 1: Yeah. Very short relationship.
• 40:23
  Speaker 2: As soon as you start going to therapy and helping yourself,
• 40:26
  Speaker 2: you are going to be.
• 40:26
  Speaker 4: Like, oh, wow.
• 40:27
  Speaker 3: That's why I couldn't make any changes in my life.
• 40:30
  Speaker 2: I had this block. I had this man-shaped block.
• 40:34
  Speaker 1: And that's the end of this story. We're going to
• 40:36
  Speaker 1: go on to the next one.
• 40:37
  Speaker 2: My girlfriend accused my best friend of seducing me. I'm
• 40:41
  Speaker 2: done with her. They must have done a bad job. I,
• 40:44
  Speaker 2: 27 male, grew up with a female best friend named Alva, 28. Ovia.
• 40:51
  Speaker 2: Our parents are a tight-knit group, so we have been
• 40:54
  Speaker 2: super close since we were babies. We used to spend
• 40:57
  Speaker 2: almost all of our holidays together. We went to the
• 41:00
  Speaker 2: same school up until university. And we also went to
• 41:03
  Speaker 2: the same extracurriculars throughout our entire childhood. That being scouts,
• 41:08
  Speaker 2: mixed gender. I moved when I was 22, so we
• 41:11
  Speaker 2: don't live in the same city anymore. But I truly
• 41:14
  Speaker 2: see her as my sister. Alva has always been very
• 41:17
  Speaker 2: much the hippie type. staunchly feminist, and also aspect identity.
• 41:22
  Speaker 2: She doesn't smectualize her own body, so she doesn't care
• 41:27
  Speaker 2: if anyone else does. Okay. It first started sometime when
• 41:30
  Speaker 2: we were 14 during a ridiculously hot summer when I
• 41:33
  Speaker 2: went shirtless pretty much an entire week at camp. During
• 41:36
  Speaker 2: day three of the all sun, no shade, she also
• 41:40
  Speaker 2: decided to take her shirt off. None of the adults
• 41:42
  Speaker 2: seemed to care, and so she just kept doing it.
• 41:45
  Speaker 2: And she kept doing it the rest of the summer,
• 41:47
  Speaker 2: and every summer following that. By the way, this comes
• 41:50
  Speaker 2: from hashtag free the nips. And if you want to
• 41:53
  Speaker 2: submit your own stories, go to the r slash okay
• 41:55
  Speaker 2: story time subreddit. I'm Savannah.
• 41:57
  Speaker 4: I'm Riley.
• 41:58
  Speaker 1: I'm Keon.
• 41:58
  Speaker 2: And we're here to talk about some stuff, give some advice,
• 42:01
  Speaker 2: but we don't have all your answers. We're only going
• 42:02
  Speaker 2: to tell you what we do, so let us know
• 42:03
  Speaker 2: what you would do down in the comments. As Opie says... Basically,
• 42:08
  Speaker 2: during any time, you may expect a regular man to
• 42:10
  Speaker 2: be shirtless in public, like at a barbecue or at
• 42:13
  Speaker 2: the beach. Alva will be shirtless. She'll also be shirtless
• 42:17
  Speaker 2: when she's camping, doing sweaty labor like yard work, or
• 42:19
  Speaker 2: sometimes when she's just out for a stroll in the
• 42:22
  Speaker 2: forest to be closer to nature. Nice. I should start
• 42:26
  Speaker 2: doing this.
• 42:27
  Speaker 4: Is she, like, shirtless shirtless? or is it like bra
• 42:32
  Speaker 4: still we need to know.
• 42:33
  Speaker 2: No it's hopeless i think because the the username was
• 42:38
  Speaker 2: free the nip so yeah but where do they live.
• 42:40
  Speaker 4: Too is this like england new zealand i.
• 42:42
  Speaker 2: Don't know i mean there's definitely a forest it's.
• 42:45
  Speaker 4: Got to be new zealand why i don't know i
• 42:47
  Speaker 4: feel like they'd be in america we're doing this stuff
• 42:50
  Speaker 4: it could be.
• 42:51
  Speaker 2: I started dating my current girlfriend julia about a year
• 42:54
  Speaker 2: ago and she's met alva About four times since then.
• 42:58
  Speaker 2: I normally call Alva once every other week, but I've
• 43:01
  Speaker 2: started doing it more frequently now since I don't have
• 43:04
  Speaker 2: a ton of other friends and not much else to do.
• 43:07
  Speaker 2: You know, because of circumstances. And even Julia and Alva
• 43:10
  Speaker 2: have started calling each other sporadically just to keep company.
• 43:14
  Speaker 4: Ah, this is during the vid.
• 43:17
  Speaker 2: That makes sense. Oh, so yeah. I'm going shirtless everywhere.
• 43:20
  Speaker 4: In the vid.
• 43:20
  Speaker 2: Are you kidding me?
• 43:21
  Speaker 4: Make sure to put a mask on.
• 43:24
  Speaker 2: These don't need masks. Three days ago, Julia and I
• 43:28
  Speaker 2: were talking about music festivals, and so I dug up
• 43:31
  Speaker 2: some old pics from a particular one that my friends
• 43:34
  Speaker 2: and I went to nine years ago. Julia asked something
• 43:37
  Speaker 2: like if I thought it wasn't a bit snooty for
• 43:41
  Speaker 2: a girl to be topless. It was a music festival,
• 43:44
  Speaker 2: so everyone looked like psychedelic spicy dancer hobos. I laughed
• 43:48
  Speaker 2: and said no, since Alva is literally a lifelong virgin. Oh, wow. Yeah, well,
• 43:55
  Speaker 2: she said she had an A-spec identity, so she don't
• 43:58
  Speaker 2: like others. She's by herself, and she's cool with that.
• 44:01
  Speaker 4: Everything goes out, nothing goes in.
• 44:03
  Speaker 2: Yes. Nice. Nice.
• 44:06
  Speaker 1: He's a woman doctor. He's an everyone doctor.
• 44:08
  Speaker 2: He is a woman doctor. Yeah, yeah, this is woman.
• 44:10
  Speaker 2: This is anatomy for women. She asked me what I meant,
• 44:14
  Speaker 2: and I explained that Alva didn't believe in covering her
• 44:17
  Speaker 2: chest in situations that men don't have to. Preach. Preach.
• 44:21
  Speaker 2: I'm right there with you. I'm like, men can do
• 44:23
  Speaker 2: whatever just because I have these bumps on me. I
• 44:27
  Speaker 2: am doing the world a favor by taking off my shirt.
• 44:30
  Speaker 2: You're welcome.
• 44:31
  Speaker 1: The Europeans, they're way ahead.
• 44:34
  Speaker 2: She freaked out on me, saying how that was super
• 44:37
  Speaker 2: weird of her and inappropriate. I said that she has
• 44:39
  Speaker 2: been doing it for over 10 years now, and she
• 44:42
  Speaker 2: said that a t * * * less teenager had
• 44:44
  Speaker 2: to be disturbed. Now that is a stretch. That's crazy.
• 44:48
  Speaker 2: To be like, you should feel bad about your body.
• 44:50
  Speaker 4: She thinks differently than you. Give her that.
• 44:52
  Speaker 2: I'll give her that, sure. During our argument, she accused
• 44:56
  Speaker 2: Alva of trying to seduce me, accused me of getting
• 44:59
  Speaker 2: off to her shirtlessness, and that her as * * * uality...
• 45:04
  Speaker 2: was made up BS. And now she's being really rude.
• 45:08
  Speaker 1: That's really unhinged.
• 45:10
  Speaker 2: Yeah. So not only did you, like, say that I'm
• 45:13
  Speaker 2: in the wrong for wanting to do what I want,
• 45:15
  Speaker 2: which is hurting no one, now you're gonna say, oh yeah,
• 45:18
  Speaker 2: and also your friend's little, like, uh, Identity here, BS.
• 45:23
  Speaker 4: Time out, time out. She may have not been around
• 45:26
  Speaker 4: people who identifies that.
• 45:28
  Speaker 2: That is true.
• 45:29
  Speaker 4: She's probably never been around monks or nuns.
• 45:31
  Speaker 2: But why does it automatically have to go to your
• 45:34
  Speaker 2: different negative point of view?
• 45:36
  Speaker 1: Oh, yeah, because it's different and I don't agree with it.
• 45:38
  Speaker 1: It's negative.
• 45:39
  Speaker 2: Exactly.
• 45:40
  Speaker 1: Or it's like it's wrong or it's bad.
• 45:42
  Speaker 4: Yeah.
• 45:43
  Speaker 1: Or I'm going to judge you for it.
• 45:44
  Speaker 4: Some people don't have the emotional capacity to express how
• 45:48
  Speaker 4: they truly feel. They just do whatever comes to mind.
• 45:51
  Speaker 2: Yeah. I just hung up on her there and then.
• 45:55
  Speaker 2: She followed up with a text two hours later where
• 45:57
  Speaker 2: she said she expected me to never call Alva again
• 46:01
  Speaker 2: and then she would forgive me. A text to which
• 46:03
  Speaker 2: I still haven't replied. Am I the a-hole? No. Why
• 46:07
  Speaker 2: would you be the a-hole? She like, she came at
• 46:10
  Speaker 2: you for something that you've done since, I don't know,
• 46:13
  Speaker 2: you were little.
• 46:14
  Speaker 1: It's like breathing air. It's like, this is it. This
• 46:16
  Speaker 1: is normal. Yeah.
• 46:18
  Speaker 2: She's like, isn't that like, yeah, in your in your
• 46:20
  Speaker 2: version of your world, it may look a little different,
• 46:23
  Speaker 2: but I shouldn't have to feel ashamed of that. It's
• 46:25
  Speaker 2: not hurting anyone. If it was negatively affecting people, then
• 46:28
  Speaker 2: I'd be like, OK, then let's dial it down.
• 46:31
  Speaker 1: Let me help. Let me help you. Easy. See, that
• 46:36
  Speaker 1: was easy.
• 46:36
  Speaker 4: I mean, Julia's coming at it. With her point of view. Oh,
• 46:40
  Speaker 4: my boyfriend might cheat on me with her. Look at
• 46:43
  Speaker 4: how she's doing all those things, blah, blah, blah. But
• 46:44
  Speaker 4: like literally out of all the people you would want
• 46:47
  Speaker 4: your boyfriend to be best friends with, all that would
• 46:49
  Speaker 4: be the perfect choice for this because, you know, she's
• 46:52
  Speaker 4: a tool. She doesn't identify with that. She's just a
• 46:55
  Speaker 4: free life hippie going about life how she is. And,
• 46:59
  Speaker 4: you know, it's a fun person to be around.
• 47:01
  Speaker 2: Yeah. And yeah.
• 47:02
  Speaker 4: You know, growing older, if I'm not comfortable being around
• 47:05
  Speaker 4: Alva whenever she's shirtless, I'd maybe say something or just
• 47:08
  Speaker 4: not be around her during that time. But the root
• 47:12
  Speaker 4: of the problem is Julia is having a lot of
• 47:14
  Speaker 4: jealousy issues.
• 47:15
  Speaker 1: And insecurity issues, yeah.
• 47:17
  Speaker 4: Yeah, so if you want to be with someone that's insecure,
• 47:19
  Speaker 4: by all means.
• 47:21
  Speaker 2: We got some comments. Comment number one says, I will ask, though,
• 47:24
  Speaker 2: why didn't you mention Alva's shirtless to Julia before? I
• 47:28
  Speaker 2: can see how it would be a shock if you're
• 47:31
  Speaker 2: not used to it. I agree with them. OP responds,
• 47:34
  Speaker 2: Julia hasn't ever seen Alva shirtless, so I didn't think
• 47:37
  Speaker 2: much of warning her yet. It's not like she might
• 47:40
  Speaker 2: suddenly whip out a thing at a restaurant, and it's
• 47:44
  Speaker 2: not her most defining feature. I most likely would have
• 47:48
  Speaker 2: warned her if we were going to be in a
• 47:50
  Speaker 2: scenario where Julia would see her shirtless. Oh, so she's like, well,
• 47:54
  Speaker 2: you were never going to really see her like that.
• 47:56
  Speaker 1: Yeah.
• 47:57
  Speaker 4: So I don't think it really matters. Yeah.
• 48:00
  Speaker 2: Oh, and there is an update. I just thought I'd
• 48:02
  Speaker 2: mention that we're not from the States, but from Stockholm, Sweden.
• 48:06
  Speaker 2: Obviously not an anti-shirt dictatorship, but it's fully legal. I
• 48:11
  Speaker 2: also didn't mention because I was at like 299 characters.
• 48:16
  Speaker 2: that Julia and I went to the Pride Parade together
• 48:20
  Speaker 2: last year, as I do every year, and we saw
• 48:22
  Speaker 2: plenty of chest. She didn't express any discomfort then, so
• 48:27
  Speaker 2: I didn't think she would be as upset as she was.
• 48:30
  Speaker 4: Did you stay with her? Why is she being so
• 48:31
  Speaker 4: weird about it then? So it's not because she's a
• 48:34
  Speaker 4: teenager and it was photographed that way? Is that why
• 48:37
  Speaker 4: Julia had a problem with it? Where is she coming
• 48:39
  Speaker 4: at with this? Because it feels like her statement or
• 48:42
  Speaker 4: argument no longer is valid. Cause they usually go to
• 48:46
  Speaker 4: the pride parade together.
• 48:48
  Speaker 2: Yeah. I just think because Alva is Opie's, you know,
• 48:52
  Speaker 2: best friend and then there, she just whips them out.
• 48:55
  Speaker 2: And she's like, that's weird to do in front of,
• 48:58
  Speaker 2: you know, someone of the opposite gender.
• 49:01
  Speaker 1: Yeah.
• 49:02
  Speaker 2: Yeah. You know, crush on her or something like that.
• 49:05
  Speaker 2: I'd be like, Oh, like I would be a little,
• 49:07
  Speaker 2: I would be a little off, off putting, it would
• 49:10
  Speaker 2: be off putting if, I was in that situation of like,
• 49:14
  Speaker 2: I wasn't told like she was, she would be doing
• 49:16
  Speaker 2: that or something. And then all of a sudden we're camping, whatever. together.
• 49:20
  Speaker 2: And then she's, boom. I'm like, whoa.
• 49:22
  Speaker 4: What?
• 49:23
  Speaker 1: Yeah. It's very natural. It's not like.
• 49:26
  Speaker 2: But then I would also just do it.
• 49:27
  Speaker 1: Not to smectualize anything.
• 49:29
  Speaker 2: It's more like, well, guys can do it all the time.
• 49:32
  Speaker 1: Yeah.
• 49:32
  Speaker 2: Like, whenever they want. Just like, you know, they can
• 49:35
  Speaker 2: just go outside and pee wherever they want.
• 49:37
  Speaker 4: You can too.
• 49:38
  Speaker 2: And I do. I actually was doing that a lot
• 49:40
  Speaker 2: on vacation. Because I hate, you know when you're like,
• 49:43
  Speaker 2: you know, I was like in the pool, whatever, you
• 49:44
  Speaker 2: get out. I don't want to sit on like a wet,
• 49:46
  Speaker 2: like a wet seat. So I just went over. I
• 49:49
  Speaker 2: went into the woods and just, yeah. And I did
• 49:51
  Speaker 2: and I came back. Wow. I did it plenty of times.
• 49:54
  Speaker 4: Thank you for telling me that.
• 49:55
  Speaker 2: I did that. I think I went to the bathroom
• 49:57
  Speaker 2: more times in the woods than I did in the
• 50:01
  Speaker 2: toilet on vacation.
• 50:01
  Speaker 4: My actual thing.
• 50:03
  Speaker 2: It was great and I loved it.
• 50:04
  Speaker 4: Nice.
• 50:05
  Speaker 2: Anyway, we're going to finish this up. I've also realized
• 50:08
  Speaker 2: that I wasn't merely upset on behalf of my friend,
• 50:10
  Speaker 2: but more on behalf of my own beliefs. The benefit
• 50:13
  Speaker 2: of eschewing gender norms, such as what a certain gender
• 50:18
  Speaker 2: is allowed to wear or not wear, is indirectly related
• 50:21
  Speaker 2: to a bunch of other strongly held beliefs. I have,
• 50:24
  Speaker 2: about equality and society at large. None of us are
• 50:28
  Speaker 2: here to debate, as this is not a debate sub,
• 50:31
  Speaker 2: but I know that having compatible beliefs is very important
• 50:34
  Speaker 2: to me. Her comments about asexuality are admittedly not boding
• 50:39
  Speaker 2: well for that. So I've texted Julia and said that
• 50:43
  Speaker 2: I cannot promise her that I'll cut off all the
• 50:45
  Speaker 2: I don't want to mislead her. I've asked to talk
• 50:48
  Speaker 2: about it and how she feels about it. I need
• 50:50
  Speaker 2: to know more about her and her viewpoints to decide
• 50:53
  Speaker 2: what I'll do next. So mature. She hasn't answered yet,
• 50:56
  Speaker 2: but I'll make sure I give her three days as well,
• 50:59
  Speaker 2: just to be fair. Maybe I'm the weirdo hippie and
• 51:02
  Speaker 2: she's the normal one, but that would make us very
• 51:04
  Speaker 2: different people, I fear. And that's the end.
• 51:06
  Speaker 4: Wow, so we don't even know.
• 51:08
  Speaker 2: We don't know.
• 51:09
  Speaker 4: Dude, people with asexuality, good for them. Big fan. I'm
• 51:14
  Speaker 4: a big fan of anyone that is asexual because at
• 51:17
  Speaker 4: some point in their life, they're going to split in
• 51:19
  Speaker 4: two and that's how they multiply. That's crazy. And the
• 51:23
  Speaker 4: fact that you could do that, you were so talented,
• 51:24
  Speaker 4: and I'm so proud of you.
• 51:26
  Speaker 1: And that's the end of this story. We're good to go.
• 51:28
  Speaker 1: On to the next one.
• 51:29
  Speaker 4: My boyfriend is sleeping with his eyes open and he's
• 51:32
  Speaker 4: watching me.
• 51:33
  Speaker 2: That's the creepiest thing I've ever heard in my life.
• 51:36
  Speaker 4: I started having sleeping problems a few months ago. What
• 51:40
  Speaker 4: started as sudden, frequent nightmares and egregious sweating turned into
• 51:45
  Speaker 4: waking up in the middle of the night. My boyfriend
• 51:47
  Speaker 4: and I have been together for a little under a
• 51:49
  Speaker 4: year now and I have known him for over two years.
• 51:52
  Speaker 4: Ever since we started to get more serious, I've constantly
• 51:56
  Speaker 4: been spending the whole weekend at his house, spending the
• 51:58
  Speaker 4: night and all that. My boyfriend has always, to my knowledge,
• 52:02
  Speaker 4: slept with his eyes open. They're not wide open. They're
• 52:07
  Speaker 4: just slightly open.
• 52:08
  Speaker 2: Yeah.
• 52:09
  Speaker 4: But it's enough that I can see his dark pupils
• 52:12
  Speaker 4: slightly when he sleeps. This has never been a problem.
• 52:16
  Speaker 4: In fact, I have taken many pictures of him as
• 52:18
  Speaker 4: a joke, and his family has also expressed that they
• 52:21
  Speaker 4: are aware of this weird quirk of his. My sleeping
• 52:25
  Speaker 4: problems are not as fun and only started up a
• 52:28
  Speaker 4: few months ago. When I sleep at my house during
• 52:30
  Speaker 4: the week, I don't have problems or nightmares. When I
• 52:33
  Speaker 4: sleep at his house, my issues return.
• 52:36
  Speaker 1: Maybe it's just you, OP.
• 52:38
  Speaker 4: That or there's a spiritual being around that area.
• 52:43
  Speaker 2: Oh. It's true.
• 52:44
  Speaker 1: Mm.
• 52:46
  Speaker 4: What do you guys think? Or do you think he's
• 52:48
  Speaker 4: watching you while you sleep and you can feel that
• 52:50
  Speaker 4: and it makes you unsettled? Thus, trust your gut, girl.
• 52:52
  Speaker 2: Maybe he's been awake this whole time. Maybe he doesn't sleep.
• 52:55
  Speaker 4: Many weeks ago, we were watching a movie and my
• 52:57
  Speaker 4: boyfriend fell asleep on the couch. I was beginning to
• 53:00
  Speaker 4: doze off too when my phone rang. It was one
• 53:02
  Speaker 4: of my crew members who I oversee as their manager
• 53:05
  Speaker 4: explaining they had locked their car keys in the building
• 53:08
  Speaker 4: and needed me to come to the location to open
• 53:10
  Speaker 4: the building back up.
• 53:11
  Speaker 2: I got ready to leave.
• 53:12
  Speaker 4: And was headed towards the front door to grab my
• 53:14
  Speaker 4: keys off the hook when I accidentally dropped them on
• 53:17
  Speaker 4: the hardwood floor. This caused a big crash, and I
• 53:20
  Speaker 4: immediately looked to my boyfriend to make sure I hadn't
• 53:23
  Speaker 4: Woken him up. He was still asleep with his eyes
• 53:26
  Speaker 4: slightly open. That's why I went ahead and left. By
• 53:29
  Speaker 4: the way, this comes from MeanNose26. If you want to
• 53:32
  Speaker 4: send me your own stories, go to the r slash
• 53:34
  Speaker 4: OKStoryTime subreddit. I'm Riley.
• 53:36
  Speaker 2: I'm Savannah.
• 53:37
  Speaker 1: I'm Keon.
• 53:38
  Speaker 4: And we're going to read the story goofily. Let us
• 53:40
  Speaker 4: know if you sleep with your eyes open or closed.
• 53:42
  Speaker 4: Comment down below. Opie says, The next morning, he asked
• 53:45
  Speaker 4: me what happened with my employee. I was very confused
• 53:48
  Speaker 4: because he was asleep during that entire phone call. So
• 53:52
  Speaker 4: asleep that the sound of the keys crashing to the
• 53:54
  Speaker 4: floor didn't wake him up. He seemed confused himself and
• 53:59
  Speaker 4: said that he must have heard the conversation in his
• 54:01
  Speaker 4: sleep and remembered it.
• 54:02
  Speaker 2: See, that's what I do.
• 54:04
  Speaker 4: I asked him if he remembered seeing me get up
• 54:06
  Speaker 4: and leave, to which he answered no. He said he
• 54:08
  Speaker 4: didn't remember seeing anything, in fact. He just sort of
• 54:12
  Speaker 4: knew what had happened. We both thought it was strange,
• 54:15
  Speaker 4: but let it go. The brain does weird things. Unfortunately,
• 54:19
  Speaker 4: this kept happening.
• 54:21
  Speaker 2: Hmm. Okay, well now I'm being a little bit weary.
• 54:23
  Speaker 2: It's one thing to make it happen once, but like
• 54:26
  Speaker 2: a regular occurrence. I'd be like, are you just not sleeping?
• 54:29
  Speaker 1: Guys, he's just like, there's like sleepwalking. Maybe he's just
• 54:32
  Speaker 1: sleep listening.
• 54:33
  Speaker 2: Sleep listening.
• 54:34
  Speaker 4: It's true. How many women would love their boyfriends.
• 54:38
  Speaker 2: To have that? Oh my gosh, I'd be whispering in
• 54:40
  Speaker 2: your ear the whole night.
• 54:42
  Speaker 1: You know, sometimes people do that, that they'll play like
• 54:45
  Speaker 1: videos in a different language and it helps them learn.
• 54:48
  Speaker 1: My buddy does that and he did it for Russian
• 54:50
  Speaker 1: and he's like, yeah, it actually helped me understand it more.
• 54:52
  Speaker 4: Well, it went from him remembering things that he had heard.
• 54:56
  Speaker 4: such as phone calls or hearing me rummaging through the
• 54:58
  Speaker 4: fridge on nights that I couldn't go to sleep, to
• 55:01
  Speaker 4: remembering things that he saw me doing, such as silently
• 55:04
  Speaker 4: pacing in the room when I couldn't get back to sleep,
• 55:07
  Speaker 4: or me texting my mom late at night. He even
• 55:10
  Speaker 4: knew what I had texted her, like he was looking
• 55:13
  Speaker 4: over my shoulder. This started to freak me out, and
• 55:16
  Speaker 4: it also frustrated me that those moments were no longer
• 55:18
  Speaker 4: private to me. I'm not sure if anyone else here
• 55:21
  Speaker 4: has trouble sleeping, but desperate moments when you're awake and
• 55:25
  Speaker 4: trying anything and everything to go back to sleep are
• 55:27
  Speaker 4: not the most dignified moments. Anyways, I expressed this to
• 55:32
  Speaker 4: him and he understood how I felt. We decided to
• 55:35
  Speaker 4: try an eye mask, but that unfortunately did not work
• 55:38
  Speaker 4: because he kept taking it off in the middle of
• 55:40
  Speaker 4: the night. I never actually saw him take it off,
• 55:42
  Speaker 4: but on nights that I woke up, I would see
• 55:45
  Speaker 4: it either crumpled on the floor or placed neatly on
• 55:47
  Speaker 4: his nightstand. We decided that I should schedule a sleep
• 55:50
  Speaker 4: study to see if I had sleep apnea. While waiting
• 55:54
  Speaker 4: for the scheduled day, something even stranger happened. I'd woken
• 55:58
  Speaker 4: up from a nightmare, as per usual, and decided to
• 56:01
  Speaker 4: change my pajamas into something less warm to hopefully stop
• 56:05
  Speaker 4: my sweating, as being hot sometimes make my nightmares worse.
• 56:09
  Speaker 4: As I got up from the bed, I looked at
• 56:11
  Speaker 4: my boyfriend. He was deeply asleep, and his pupils were
• 56:15
  Speaker 4: pointed directly at me. I thought nothing of it and
• 56:19
  Speaker 4: went over to the dresser to change. After I was
• 56:21
  Speaker 4: done changing, I turned around and he was still looking
• 56:23
  Speaker 4: directly at me. However, my side of the bed and
• 56:28
  Speaker 4: the dresser are on the opposite sides of the room.
• 56:31
  Speaker 4: His pupils had followed me. I walked back to my
• 56:34
  Speaker 4: side of the bed and they followed me then. To
• 56:36
  Speaker 4: this day, I still can't really describe why, but this
• 56:40
  Speaker 4: scared me deeply. That night, I slept on the couch.
• 56:43
  Speaker 1: That's insanely creepy, but I still think.
• 56:46
  Speaker 2: That's not sleeping now at this point. I don't think
• 56:50
  Speaker 2: that's sleep. Your eyes do not. If you're in like REM, whatever,
• 56:54
  Speaker 2: or NRM, like, I mean, you're not, your, your eyes
• 56:58
  Speaker 2: are not tracking stuff while you're going to bed.
• 57:01
  Speaker 4: Oh, dude. I, I, I have an idea of what
• 57:03
  Speaker 4: I think this is.
• 57:04
  Speaker 1: Hmm.
• 57:05
  Speaker 2: So he must like wake up.
• 57:06
  Speaker 4: What? No, I'm listening.
• 57:08
  Speaker 2: No, I'm just saying he, he just must wake up.
• 57:10
  Speaker 4: That was the end of my period. Uh, Three questions
• 57:13
  Speaker 4: I would ask him. Number one, whenever you wake up
• 57:15
  Speaker 4: in the morning, do you feel relaxed?
• 57:18
  Speaker 2: Do you feel like you were well rested? Yeah.
• 57:21
  Speaker 4: Number two, do you feel like your energy is drained
• 57:24
  Speaker 4: whenever you're up in the morning, like something's been draining
• 57:25
  Speaker 4: your energy? And number three, do you feel like your
• 57:28
  Speaker 4: subconscious is keeping you awake because of something you have
• 57:31
  Speaker 4: threats of or that something may be controlling you on
• 57:34
  Speaker 4: the inside? Because to be honest, I think this guy
• 57:37
  Speaker 4: has a demon in him. I think he has a
• 57:41
  Speaker 4: demon in him and that's why OP can't sleep because
• 57:44
  Speaker 4: there's something bothering her in the night and that's why
• 57:46
  Speaker 4: she's sweating so much.
• 57:47
  Speaker 2: Hmm.
• 57:48
  Speaker 4: Because the only reason she has nightmares or sweating so
• 57:52
  Speaker 4: much is because she's at his house.
• 57:54
  Speaker 1: I was going to say, does he do any of
• 57:55
  Speaker 1: this when he's over at her house?
• 57:57
  Speaker 4: Yeah. And usually whenever people have like demons in them
• 58:01
  Speaker 4: or something like that, or like something's draining their energy,
• 58:04
  Speaker 4: it's because of a demon. And that's what's giving them
• 58:06
  Speaker 4: the nightmares.
• 58:07
  Speaker 1: That's my take.
• 58:08
  Speaker 2: You on my side?
• 58:09
  Speaker 1: As someone who's experienced this in a sense with my girlfriend,
• 58:12
  Speaker 1: you never know. I'm not ruling it out.
• 58:16
  Speaker 2: It's a crazy theory, buddy. I'm kind of into it
• 58:19
  Speaker 2: as well.
• 58:19
  Speaker 4: Because here's my other thing. I think there's something beyond
• 58:22
  Speaker 4: the physical realm that is messing with her. My other
• 58:26
  Speaker 4: thoughts are, are there mold in the house? What's the thing,
• 58:30
  Speaker 4: the monoxide?
• 58:31
  Speaker 1: Carbon monoxide.
• 58:32
  Speaker 4: Carbon monoxide poisoning. Is there something happening there?
• 58:34
  Speaker 2: Yeah, but that wouldn't explain his eyes falling.
• 58:36
  Speaker 1: Is this like a paranormal activity kind of thing where
• 58:38
  Speaker 1: maybe you should get a camera and put it in
• 58:40
  Speaker 1: the room? Or maybe you should film him when he's
• 58:42
  Speaker 1: doing it and be like, maybe you should start asking
• 58:44
  Speaker 1: him questions.
• 58:44
  Speaker 2: Yeah.
• 58:45
  Speaker 4: No, I wouldn't.
• 58:46
  Speaker 2: Okay.
• 58:46
  Speaker 4: So over the next couple of weeks, we got into
• 58:50
  Speaker 4: minor arguments about it. I told him that I was
• 58:53
  Speaker 4: starting to distrust him when I told him he was
• 58:56
  Speaker 4: asleep in these moments. He feels like his eyes could
• 58:59
  Speaker 4: just be moving on his own and it's not as
• 59:02
  Speaker 4: creepy as I'm seeing it to be, but I couldn't
• 59:06
  Speaker 4: shake the distrust that was starting to form. Trust your gut. Yes. Additionally,
• 59:12
  Speaker 4: the sleep study happened and no signs of sleep apnea
• 59:15
  Speaker 4: or any sleep disturbances were recording during my appointment. Upon
• 59:19
  Speaker 4: hearing this news, my boyfriend decided to check his place
• 59:22
  Speaker 4: for gas leaks, check for wind coming through the gaps
• 59:25
  Speaker 4: in the window panes, buy a humidifier for his room,
• 59:29
  Speaker 4: and even change our pillows to accommodate my sleeping posture. Unfortunately,
• 59:34
  Speaker 4: my problems still persisted.
• 59:36
  Speaker 1: Girl, I think.
• 59:37
  Speaker 2: Okay, that's a demon!
• 59:40
  Speaker 1: It is!
• 59:41
  Speaker 2: He did, she did all the physical things.
• 59:43
  Speaker 1: It's a paranormal activity, yeah. She's trying to take, like,
• 59:46
  Speaker 1: she's taking, like, melatonin. She's doing all the things to sleep.
• 59:50
  Speaker 1: I think you stop sleeping there. How about your boyfriend
• 59:52
  Speaker 1: sleeps at your place?
• 59:53
  Speaker 4: I always say the name of Christ in this house. Recently,
• 59:56
  Speaker 4: I had woken up again in the middle of the
• 59:58
  Speaker 4: night from coughing. As I sat up to catch my breath,
• 1:00:01
  Speaker 4: I saw that my boyfriend was facing away from me
• 1:00:03
  Speaker 4: and slightly snoring. After a few moments of taking deep
• 1:00:06
  Speaker 4: breaths and checking my phone, I prepare myself to lay
• 1:00:09
  Speaker 4: back down when I notice that he was looking at
• 1:00:11
  Speaker 4: me again.
• 1:00:12
  Speaker 2: This is a demon. He's a demon. This is a
• 1:00:15
  Speaker 2: scary movie. That's crazy. I'm just imagining that. That's a
• 1:00:18
  Speaker 2: good horror film.
• 1:00:20
  Speaker 1: Do you think he's just doing a fun prank?
• 1:00:22
  Speaker 2: Fun little bit for years.
• 1:00:25
  Speaker 4: However, his body had not turned at all. His head
• 1:00:28
  Speaker 4: had turned as far as it could without turning once.
• 1:00:31
  Speaker 4: or moving his torso, and he was looking at me
• 1:00:34
  Speaker 4: over his shoulder. I freaked out and began to cry.
• 1:00:39
  Speaker 4: When he didn't react, I shoved him. This woke him up,
• 1:00:42
  Speaker 4: and we got into a huge argument. I cried and
• 1:00:45
  Speaker 4: told him that I didn't believe that he was asleep,
• 1:00:47
  Speaker 4: and I begged him to stop looking at me. He
• 1:00:49
  Speaker 4: yelled at me for waking him up in that manner
• 1:00:52
  Speaker 4: and said that he thinks I'm hallucinating from sleep deprivation.
• 1:00:55
  Speaker 4: He did not believe me that he was looking over
• 1:00:58
  Speaker 4: his shoulder. And he believed I imagined it.
• 1:01:02
  Speaker 1: Oh.
• 1:01:02
  Speaker 4: This is the part where, guy, you got to take
• 1:01:04
  Speaker 4: responsibility and go see a professional about your sleeping.
• 1:01:08
  Speaker 2: Well, here's what is what is watching her?
• 1:01:10
  Speaker 4: Why does this thing need to watch her?
• 1:01:11
  Speaker 1: Because he truly I feel like I get his side
• 1:01:14
  Speaker 1: where he's like, I have no idea what you're talking about.
• 1:01:16
  Speaker 4: Yeah, I get that. But he shouldn't call her. Oh,
• 1:01:19
  Speaker 4: you're making this up.
• 1:01:20
  Speaker 2: Oh, blah, blah, blah. If someone is getting.
• 1:01:22
  Speaker 4: To the point where they do not feel safe being
• 1:01:25
  Speaker 4: next to you while sleeping. Why are they making that up?
• 1:01:28
  Speaker 4: That is the person that they want to be with.
• 1:01:31
  Speaker 4: So there's something happening within him.
• 1:01:34
  Speaker 1: I say get a camera.
• 1:01:35
  Speaker 2: Get a camera so then you have physical proof.
• 1:01:37
  Speaker 1: That's what I'm saying. You need the paranormal activity, this crap.
• 1:01:40
  Speaker 1: Because he's really on that hill. And OP's on that hill.
• 1:01:43
  Speaker 1: And I'm not saying I don't believe OP. But I
• 1:01:46
  Speaker 1: believe that he truly believes he's not doing that.
• 1:01:49
  Speaker 4: We argued for so long that I decided to call
• 1:01:51
  Speaker 4: a friend and sleep at their place that night. The
• 1:01:54
  Speaker 4: next morning, I told him I wanted to take a
• 1:01:56
  Speaker 4: break from our relationship. Since then, I've talked to a
• 1:01:59
  Speaker 4: few of my friends and family. and they all have
• 1:02:01
  Speaker 4: been very puzzled by the situation. Few people feel that
• 1:02:05
  Speaker 4: I am being unfair and punishing him for something he
• 1:02:08
  Speaker 4: can't control, while others feel... that I should leave him
• 1:02:11
  Speaker 4: if I truly feel unsafe. I'm on the side of
• 1:02:13
  Speaker 4: the people that feel unsafe, but I also think it's
• 1:02:16
  Speaker 4: his responsibility to try to problem solve this with you.
• 1:02:18
  Speaker 4: I know that he sleeps with his eyes open all
• 1:02:20
  Speaker 4: the time. You got to want to... I get sleep
• 1:02:22
  Speaker 4: with your eyes open. I don't get moving your head
• 1:02:26
  Speaker 4: while asleep.
• 1:02:27
  Speaker 2: Yes, like being like.
• 1:02:29
  Speaker 4: And the person that did the test was OP with
• 1:02:31
  Speaker 4: her sleep apnea, not the boyfriend.
• 1:02:34
  Speaker 1: Again, but the craziest thing is he's not having any
• 1:02:37
  Speaker 1: sleep problems. It's only OP. But OP cannot figure this out.
• 1:02:41
  Speaker 2: Yeah.
• 1:02:41
  Speaker 1: Did she sleep okay at her friend's place? There's something
• 1:02:44
  Speaker 1: going on in this with... Because if he's not doing
• 1:02:46
  Speaker 1: it at her place, if he goes to her place,
• 1:02:48
  Speaker 1: there is something that's being unexplained. He cannot explain it.
• 1:02:51
  Speaker 1: I don't think he's doing this on purpose. There's no
• 1:02:53
  Speaker 1: way he's doing this on purpose.
• 1:02:54
  Speaker 2: There's no way.
• 1:02:54
  Speaker 4: Yeah. Well, if your gut intuition, you can't be... rested
• 1:02:59
  Speaker 4: in a house or a place while sleeping. That means
• 1:03:02
  Speaker 4: something there has a disturbance or something is not. Are
• 1:03:06
  Speaker 4: you sleeping better on the couch? Do you sleep a
• 1:03:07
  Speaker 4: little better on the couch than you do in the bed?
• 1:03:09
  Speaker 4: These are questions I'd be asking yourself.
• 1:03:11
  Speaker 1: But truly, again, if my partner was like having so
• 1:03:13
  Speaker 1: many issues sleeping at my place, then let's switch it
• 1:03:15
  Speaker 1: back up. Let's go to your place. Stop sleeping at
• 1:03:17
  Speaker 1: my place because obviously nothing is working. Why do we
• 1:03:20
  Speaker 1: keep going back to the place that makes you can't sleep?
• 1:03:22
  Speaker 4: Yep. I have agreed to try another sleep study as
• 1:03:25
  Speaker 4: suggested by my mom. But the most of the people
• 1:03:27
  Speaker 4: I have talked to have said, that they're unsure if
• 1:03:30
  Speaker 4: I'm seeing things or if he's really watching me. Do
• 1:03:33
  Speaker 4: not trust the people that say you're seeing things because
• 1:03:35
  Speaker 4: this has happened so many times. My boyfriend has always
• 1:03:38
  Speaker 4: been a very calm and compassionate guy and he has
• 1:03:41
  Speaker 4: told me that he doesn't want this to come in
• 1:03:42
  Speaker 4: between us because he feels like I am the one.
• 1:03:45
  Speaker 4: He's very upset about how things have gone and talks
• 1:03:49
  Speaker 4: with my loved ones have made me reconsider my actions
• 1:03:52
  Speaker 4: regarding our relationship. Am I overreacting? Keon, please. Is there
• 1:03:55
  Speaker 4: an update?
• 1:03:56
  Speaker 1: I'm checking right now. I'm checking the comments and all
• 1:03:58
  Speaker 1: this stuff.
• 1:03:59
  Speaker 4: Is there an update? He needs to do a study.
• 1:04:01
  Speaker 4: Even if it comes back normal, they need to consider
• 1:04:03
  Speaker 4: other options. I 100% agree with you on that.
• 1:04:06
  Speaker 1: I think you need to film it. Because he doesn't
• 1:04:09
  Speaker 1: believe it. He doesn't believe it. And you're on this hill.
• 1:04:11
  Speaker 1: He's on this hill. And I think you're both right.
• 1:04:14
  Speaker 1: And he's not doing anything malicious. If he was doing
• 1:04:17
  Speaker 1: it on purpose, it's crazy.
• 1:04:19
  Speaker 2: So creepy.
• 1:04:20
  Speaker 1: There is no update. This is from 13 days ago.
• 1:04:23
  Speaker 2: 13 days. Oh, it's really weird. Cause like, I understand
• 1:04:26
  Speaker 2: being like heavy sleepers, light sleepers, whatever, having sleep problems.
• 1:04:30
  Speaker 2: That's another thing. But the fact that you're like looking
• 1:04:33
  Speaker 2: around the room when you are. quote unquote, a sleep,
• 1:04:38
  Speaker 2: that's not a normal thing.
• 1:04:40
  Speaker 4: Yeah, that's weird.
• 1:04:42
  Speaker 2: And I don't know. I don't know who diagnoses that
• 1:04:45
  Speaker 2: or what even the diagnosis would be. But it's just creepy.
• 1:04:50
  Speaker 2: It's so creepy.
• 1:04:51
  Speaker 1: Yeah, the eye tracking is really creepy.
• 1:04:53
  Speaker 4: But and you got to trust your gut. Everyone trust
• 1:04:56
  Speaker 4: your gut.
• 1:04:56
  Speaker 1: And that's the end of this story. We're going to
• 1:04:58
  Speaker 1: go on to the next one.
• 1:05:00
  Speaker 2: Hey, it's Carly, your favorite axolotl host here. We're going
• 1:05:04
  Speaker 2: to get back to the stories, but here's three minutes
• 1:05:07
  Speaker 2: of ads from our sponsors.
• 1:05:09
  Speaker 3: My boyfriend kept on defending his sister no matter what
• 1:05:12
  Speaker 3: she does.
• 1:05:13
  Speaker 1: She's perfect.
• 1:05:14
  Speaker 3: I'm 38 male and my boyfriend is 31 male. We've
• 1:05:16
  Speaker 3: been dating for almost four years and things have been great.
• 1:05:21
  Speaker 3: He's been and still is an amazing partner. I truly
• 1:05:25
  Speaker 3: have no complaints in the way he treats me, except
• 1:05:27
  Speaker 3: when it comes to his sister, who is 19. He
• 1:05:30
  Speaker 3: and his sister ended up getting an apartment together so
• 1:05:32
  Speaker 3: he could teach her about responsibility.
• 1:05:34
  Speaker 4: Yes, and learning that from a sibling is the best
• 1:05:37
  Speaker 4: way to do it.
• 1:05:37
  Speaker 2: It's true.
• 1:05:38
  Speaker 3: She's had everything handed to her, and she's keen on
• 1:05:40
  Speaker 3: growing up fast. After they moved in together, he got
• 1:05:43
  Speaker 3: her a job at his workplace, working part-time. She then
• 1:05:46
  Speaker 3: went and got a second job working at a diner.
• 1:05:48
  Speaker 3: She was pulling in okay money, but she still wanted more.
• 1:05:52
  Speaker 3: It started getting hard for her to get to work
• 1:05:54
  Speaker 3: because she didn't have a car, so I thought, I
• 1:05:56
  Speaker 3: have two cars. You can use one of mine if
• 1:05:58
  Speaker 3: you're able to make the payments on it. I told
• 1:06:00
  Speaker 3: her the car is almost paid off, so once it is,
• 1:06:03
  Speaker 3: then it's hers to keep.
• 1:06:05
  Speaker 2: Oh, no, no, no, no. You just gave her a car?
• 1:06:10
  Speaker 2: All she heard was, Free car.
• 1:06:13
  Speaker 4: It's your car.
• 1:06:13
  Speaker 2: Free car. She heard. Free car. And she went, free car?
• 1:06:18
  Speaker 4: You're like making payments on it.
• 1:06:20
  Speaker 2: Why would you want to give her? Yeah, no. I'm
• 1:06:22
  Speaker 2: thinking it's probably.
• 1:06:23
  Speaker 4: A $ 10, 000 car. You've made $ 8, 000 worth of payments on it.
• 1:06:26
  Speaker 4: Now you're giving it away?
• 1:06:27
  Speaker 1: Yeah. What?
• 1:06:29
  Speaker 4: It's a Honda Accord.
• 1:06:31
  Speaker 3: She agreed and was super excited for the car. I
• 1:06:34
  Speaker 3: only gave her three rules for having it, since it's
• 1:06:37
  Speaker 3: still in my name. First, no smoking in the car. Second,
• 1:06:40
  Speaker 3: drive safely. And third, just keep up with the maintenance.
• 1:06:44
  Speaker 3: Once it's fully hers, she can do whatever, and she
• 1:06:46
  Speaker 3: agreed to this.
• 1:06:48
  Speaker 1: Ah.
• 1:06:50
  Speaker 4: I don't know. Two of those sound really hard to do.
• 1:06:52
  Speaker 3: Yeah, I don't know about that. A month after she
• 1:06:55
  Speaker 3: got the car, she was caught by a speed camera
• 1:06:58
  Speaker 3: doing 40 in a 25. By the way, this comes
• 1:07:01
  Speaker 3: from AdorableMolasses256. And if you want to submit your own stories,
• 1:07:04
  Speaker 3: go to the r slash OKStoryTime subreddit.
• 1:07:06
  Speaker 2: I'm Sophia.
• 1:07:07
  Speaker 4: I'm Riley.
• 1:07:08
  Speaker 1: I'm Keon.
• 1:07:08
  Speaker 3: And we're here to give good advice goofily, but we
• 1:07:10
  Speaker 3: don't have all the answers. We only got what we got.
• 1:07:13
  Speaker 3: So don't get upset. OP says, I got the ticket
• 1:07:15
  Speaker 3: in the mail since it's registered to me and I
• 1:07:18
  Speaker 3: gave her the ticket, which was $ 100. She then started
• 1:07:21
  Speaker 3: stressing about it because she had just given me the
• 1:07:23
  Speaker 3: payment for the car and was saying she doesn't have money.
• 1:07:26
  Speaker 3: So she's going to have to try and figure it
• 1:07:28
  Speaker 3: out and get the money. Being the person I am,
• 1:07:30
  Speaker 3: I felt extremely bad because I know how it feels
• 1:07:33
  Speaker 3: to be hit with bill after bill. So I told her,
• 1:07:35
  Speaker 3: don't worry about it this time. I'll try to take
• 1:07:37
  Speaker 3: care of it. But next time I won't be able
• 1:07:39
  Speaker 3: to cover you.
• 1:07:40
  Speaker 2: And she said, okay.
• 1:07:41
  Speaker 3: Hmm.
• 1:07:42
  Speaker 2: No.
• 1:07:42
  Speaker 3: When she disobeys your rules, you take the car away.
• 1:07:46
  Speaker 2: Yeah.
• 1:07:47
  Speaker 4: And also, if you're trying to be a good partner to,
• 1:07:49
  Speaker 4: I don't know, your partner, and they have an apartment
• 1:07:52
  Speaker 4: where they're teaching their sister responsibility.
• 1:07:54
  Speaker 2: Yeah.
• 1:07:54
  Speaker 4: Shouldn't you be doing that on this side?
• 1:07:56
  Speaker 2: Consequences.
• 1:07:57
  Speaker 1: You could have been like, pay me in small sums.
• 1:07:59
  Speaker 1: Just pay me back. It's a hundo. Just pay me
• 1:08:01
  Speaker 1: back 20. That's five months.
• 1:08:02
  Speaker 3: I think you go, hey, you know. Unfortunately, I'm going
• 1:08:06
  Speaker 3: to take the car back. If you pay that off
• 1:08:09
  Speaker 3: and show me that, you know, you can be responsible,
• 1:08:12
  Speaker 3: like maybe we'll talk about you getting the car back.
• 1:08:13
  Speaker 3: But like until you do or even you pay it off,
• 1:08:16
  Speaker 3: you say you can't have the car until you pay.
• 1:08:18
  Speaker 1: It's a consequence of their own actions. Yeah, you should. Yeah.
• 1:08:21
  Speaker 4: Yeah.
• 1:08:21
  Speaker 1: When I got my speeding ticket, my parents are like,
• 1:08:24
  Speaker 1: pay that off.
• 1:08:25
  Speaker 2: Yeah.
• 1:08:25
  Speaker 1: Okay. Okay.
• 1:08:26
  Speaker 2: Okay, fast forward.
• 1:08:27
  Speaker 3: I wasn't able to pay the bill in time because
• 1:08:29
  Speaker 3: I have bills of my own. And it was also
• 1:08:31
  Speaker 3: difficult for me to balance all of my bills and
• 1:08:33
  Speaker 3: take care of everything I have going on financially. A
• 1:08:36
  Speaker 3: month later, she got another job working in a club
• 1:08:39
  Speaker 3: where she was bringing home crazy money. One night, she
• 1:08:42
  Speaker 3: came home with $ 500 for one night. For that whole week,
• 1:08:46
  Speaker 3: she ended up with close.
• 1:08:47
  Speaker 2: To $ 2, 000.
• 1:08:47
  Speaker 3: What club is she working at? And this was from
• 1:08:53
  Speaker 3: the club alone. A month after that, they re-sent the
• 1:08:56
  Speaker 3: ticket in the mail, and because it hadn't been paid yet,
• 1:08:58
  Speaker 3: it was now raised to $ 120.
• 1:08:59
  Speaker 1: Where do you live? I need to know where you live.
• 1:09:01
  Speaker 2: This is so reasonable. $ 120?
• 1:09:04
  Speaker 3: It raised $ 20?
• 1:09:05
  Speaker 2: Here, if you didn't pay a ticket, it would double.
• 1:09:07
  Speaker 1: It's another $ 100. It would go from $ 70 to $ 140.
• 1:09:11
  Speaker 3: Because I still didn't have the money, I figured, why
• 1:09:13
  Speaker 3: not ask her if she can help with the bill?
• 1:09:15
  Speaker 2: Help? OP, it's her bill.
• 1:09:17
  Speaker 3: After all, she had just spent $ 400 on boots and
• 1:09:20
  Speaker 3: $ 600 on outfits for the club, and this was after
• 1:09:23
  Speaker 3: she said the boots were only $ 400. I asked her,
• 1:09:26
  Speaker 3: and I even said that because the bill was raised,
• 1:09:28
  Speaker 3: I would give her half. I just didn't have the
• 1:09:30
  Speaker 3: full amount. She responded with, okay, but then went to
• 1:09:33
  Speaker 3: her brother and complained to him about me.
• 1:09:35
  Speaker 2: Saying, he said he would take care of it. I
• 1:09:37
  Speaker 2: shouldn't have to worry about the bill.
• 1:09:41
  Speaker 1: Opie, I know it's stupid, but you did say that.
• 1:09:44
  Speaker 4: She shouldn't be complaining. You're helping her.
• 1:09:46
  Speaker 2: Yeah, like you are helping her. At least she should.
• 1:09:49
  Speaker 3: It should be like she pays for the bill. And
• 1:09:51
  Speaker 3: then you say, you know what? Like I will pay
• 1:09:52
  Speaker 3: you back because I did promise. This, of course, sparked
• 1:09:55
  Speaker 3: an argument between me and him.
• 1:09:57
  Speaker 2: A little bit, yeah. Yeah, I agree with that.
• 1:10:15
  Speaker 3: You know, I see your guys' side. Eventually, she just
• 1:10:17
  Speaker 3: gave him the money for it and he put it
• 1:10:19
  Speaker 3: on his car to pay it. After that, I started
• 1:10:21
  Speaker 3: getting tickets in the mail because she was driving over
• 1:10:24
  Speaker 3: the easy pass bridge and not paying the toll. Dude,
• 1:10:27
  Speaker 3: take the car away. Also, if OP does not have
• 1:10:32
  Speaker 3: $ 100 to be able to spend.
• 1:10:35
  Speaker 4: Right.
• 1:10:35
  Speaker 2: And he has two cars. We could sell one of
• 1:10:40
  Speaker 2: those cars.
• 1:10:41
  Speaker 4: That's a great point.
• 1:10:42
  Speaker 1: It looks like she has enough money to start saving
• 1:10:44
  Speaker 1: for a car.
• 1:10:46
  Speaker 2: Yeah, yeah, the 19-year-old.
• 1:10:47
  Speaker 4: Yeah.
• 1:10:48
  Speaker 3: Each ticket was coming out to $ 31 because of the fees.
• 1:10:51
  Speaker 3: There was a total of five tickets she had. He
• 1:10:54
  Speaker 3: then asked me, can you just pay the tickets on
• 1:10:55
  Speaker 3: your end by disputing them from your account so it's
• 1:10:58
  Speaker 3: not the full $ 31 and it'll only be $ 6 per
• 1:11:01
  Speaker 3: ticket to avoid the fees? I then told him, no,
• 1:11:04
  Speaker 3: after the last incident, I'm not offering to pay any
• 1:11:07
  Speaker 3: more of her tickets. If she doesn't have an easy pass,
• 1:11:10
  Speaker 3: then she needs to get into the cash lane. He
• 1:11:12
  Speaker 3: then said, yeah, well, she's not going to do that
• 1:11:14
  Speaker 3: because sometimes the cash lane can get long.
• 1:11:16
  Speaker 2: Then wait your turn. Yeah, that's a stupid.
• 1:11:20
  Speaker 1: Excuse me.
• 1:11:20
  Speaker 2: She's not going to do that because traffic.
• 1:11:22
  Speaker 4: Get your own E-ZPass.
• 1:11:22
  Speaker 1: Then pay for the E-ZPass.
• 1:11:23
  Speaker 2: Yeah, then pay for the free E-ZPass. I told them,
• 1:11:26
  Speaker 2: that doesn't matter.
• 1:11:27
  Speaker 3: Her going into the E-ZPass lane with no E-ZPass is
• 1:11:30
  Speaker 3: causing tickets to be sent to the house, which means
• 1:11:32
  Speaker 3: she needs to pay them.
• 1:11:34
  Speaker 2: It's that simple.
• 1:11:34
  Speaker 1: Yeah, if your boyfriend keeps saying, oh, just pay off
• 1:11:37
  Speaker 1: the tickets, you'd be like, you know what? She can
• 1:11:38
  Speaker 1: pay off her own car.
• 1:11:40
  Speaker 2: Yeah.
• 1:11:40
  Speaker 1: I'm doing her a favor.
• 1:11:41
  Speaker 2: I'm taking my car back.
• 1:11:42
  Speaker 1: I'm taking my car back.
• 1:11:42
  Speaker 2: She no longer gets this car.
• 1:11:44
  Speaker 1: Or she can buy it from me.
• 1:11:45
  Speaker 4: Yeah.
• 1:11:45
  Speaker 1: And also with the added on incentive of paying for
• 1:11:48
  Speaker 1: those tickets.
• 1:11:48
  Speaker 2: Yeah.
• 1:11:48
  Speaker 3: You say, okay, well, you know what? I don't really
• 1:11:51
  Speaker 3: want to be on the hook for all these tickets.
• 1:11:53
  Speaker 3: So she needs to pay off the rest of the
• 1:11:56
  Speaker 3: car now and I'll sign it over to her.
• 1:11:58
  Speaker 2: We have more of this story.
• 1:11:59
  Speaker 3: This argument went on for at least an hour because
• 1:12:01
  Speaker 3: he didn't want his sister to have to face the
• 1:12:03
  Speaker 3: consequences of her actions. Why is she with you then?
• 1:12:06
  Speaker 3: And was trying to find an out for her. I
• 1:12:09
  Speaker 3: told him to let her deal with the consequences, especially
• 1:12:12
  Speaker 3: because she complains every time she gets a ticket and says, I.
• 1:12:16
  Speaker 2: Don't know why they keep sending them.
• 1:12:18
  Speaker 1: Because you did a bad. You did a no-no.
• 1:12:22
  Speaker 4: Girl, you have an easy way to get around these
• 1:12:24
  Speaker 4: and you have to make one special connection at the
• 1:12:26
  Speaker 4: club and you probably don't have to worry about tickets anymore.
• 1:12:28
  Speaker 2: It's true.
• 1:12:29
  Speaker 3: He then told me, fine, I'll have her send me
• 1:12:32
  Speaker 3: the money and I'll put my E-ZPass in her car
• 1:12:34
  Speaker 3: and register it under my account so they can take
• 1:12:36
  Speaker 3: the money out of there instead of yours. I just thought,
• 1:12:38
  Speaker 3: why wasn't that the first option instead of trying to
• 1:12:41
  Speaker 3: get me to pay it with my E-ZPass funds? I
• 1:12:44
  Speaker 3: just looked at them and said, from here on out,
• 1:12:46
  Speaker 3: her and her problems are no longer my concern. If
• 1:12:50
  Speaker 3: she gets another ticket, that's something she's going to have
• 1:12:52
  Speaker 3: to figure out, especially because after the first time you
• 1:12:55
  Speaker 3: told me not to offer to pay any tickets. So
• 1:12:58
  Speaker 3: why is this time any different? And OP asks, am
• 1:13:02
  Speaker 3: I the a-hole?
• 1:13:02
  Speaker 4: You are the a-hole for asking for money after you
• 1:13:04
  Speaker 4: said you'd cover it.
• 1:13:05
  Speaker 1: Yes.
• 1:13:05
  Speaker 4: You are not the a-hole for the easy passing.
• 1:13:08
  Speaker 2: Agreed. Agreed, agreed, agreed.
• 1:13:09
  Speaker 1: You're the a-hole for letting her keep the car after
• 1:13:12
  Speaker 1: not taking her. Yes, take that car back. She can
• 1:13:14
  Speaker 1: take the car back.
• 1:13:15
  Speaker 4: Low key might be the a-hole for staying with your
• 1:13:17
  Speaker 4: partner if you guys are looking to have a family.
• 1:13:19
  Speaker 1: Yeah.
• 1:13:20
  Speaker 4: Because he's displaying how he would interact with his children.
• 1:13:24
  Speaker 2: That's true. That's a good point.
• 1:13:26
  Speaker 1: Yeah.
• 1:13:26
  Speaker 2: Very good point. Yeah.
• 1:13:28
  Speaker 1: And that's the end of this story.