Latest / New Manager Conversations with Fexingo: First 90 Days, Managing Former Peers, and Leadership Basics / How to Lead a Team More Experienced Than You
Transcript
- Lucas: So you're six weeks into a new management role. You've got your team roster memorized, you've survived the first round of one-on-ones, and you're starting to feel like maybe you can do this. Then your lead engineer — who has been at the company since before you graduated college — says, 'I've seen this approach fail three times in the past decade. You sure you want to go that route?' And suddenly you're back in freshman orientation. Luna: That's such a specific gut punch. It happened to me in my first product management role. I was 27, my senior developer was 52, and he'd written half the codebase. Lucas: Right. And that's the classic version of today's topic: leading a team whose members have significantly more experience than you do. Not just age, but tenure, domain expertise, or sheer institutional memory. It's a scenario most new managers face at some point, but it's surprisingly under-discussed in leadership books. Luna: What makes it so different from, say, managing former peers? That's a different kind of awkwardness. Lucas: Good question. With former peers, the tension is about equality turning into hierarchy. Here, the tension is about credibility. You're asking people to follow you, but they know things you don't. And if you pretend otherwise, you lose them fast. There's a famous study from Harvard Business Review — they looked at new managers taking over teams with high average tenure. The ones who failed within the first year almost always tried to establish authority by acting like they had all the answers. Luna: So the common instinct backfires completely. What's the alternative? Because the other extreme — acting deferential and never making a call — also doesn't work. Lucas: Exactly. The sweet spot is what I'd call 'humble authority.' You own your lack of deep domain knowledge openly, but you demonstrate competence in the areas where you do bring value. Maybe that's cross-functional coordination, maybe it's a fresh perspective on a stale problem, maybe it's just better project management. But you have to show what you bring. And then you have to actively learn from the team without being apologetic about it. Luna: Can we get concrete? What does that actually sound like in a meeting? Lucas: Sure. Let's say you're the new marketing manager, and your senior copywriter has fifteen years in the brand. You're discussing a campaign. Instead of saying, 'I think we should try this new angle because I've seen it work,' you say, 'Here's the data point I'm looking at — conversion dropped seven percent last quarter on our evergreen content. I want to run an A-B test on the tone. You've been working with this audience longer than I have. What's your hunch about how they'd respond to a casual vs. formal voice?' That signals: I have a framework, I respect your expertise, and I'm inviting you into the decision. Luna: But what if the senior person resists even that? Like they just say, 'Tried that before, didn't work.' Lucas: Then you dig deeper. Ask: 'When you tried it, was the context the same? Was it a seasonal product? Was it sent to the same segment?' You're not challenging their memory — you're exploring whether conditions have changed. Nine times out of ten, the answer reveals a difference. And if they say 'exactly the same,' then you trust their judgment. But you also note that the conversation happened. Over time, those small exchanges build a reputation: you don't waste time, you don't fake expertise, and you value their insight. Luna: There's also a structural piece, right? You can create advisory roles. A chief architect who reports to a junior VP — I've seen that work when the VP basically says, 'This person is my unofficial technical advisor.' Lucas: That's a great move. Make it formal: 'Hey, I'd love to have you as a sounding board on technical decisions for the first quarter. Can we grab thirty minutes weekly?' It flips a potential rivalry into a mentorship dynamic. And the senior person feels valued rather than threatened. But — and this is crucial — you still make the final call. You can't abdicate authority. The moment the team thinks you're just a puppet for a senior member, you lose everyone's respect. Luna: Let's talk about a specific pitfall I've seen: the new manager who overcompensates by micromanaging. Like, they're insecure about their lack of experience, so they try to control every detail. Lucas: Yeah, that's almost always fatal. Especially with experienced teams. These people have been doing their jobs for years. If you start questioning every choice they make, they'll interpret it as disrespect, not diligence. And they'll either check out or push back hard. A better approach is to set clear boundaries on what needs your approval — budget changes, public-facing messaging, hiring decisions — and then truly delegate everything else. Let them surprise you with results. Luna: I think one other dimension is the personal relationship. You can't be buddies, but you can't be aloof either. Especially if you're younger or newer. The best managers I've had with senior teams made an effort to learn about people's careers outside the current job. Where they came from, what they're proud of, what they still want to learn. Lucas: That's a great point. It's almost like you're onboarding yourself into the team's history. One new manager I interviewed for a case study — she took over a team of software engineers at a mid-size SaaS company. On her first day, she sat down with each person and asked two questions: 'What's something we do now that you think is brilliant and should never change?' and 'What's something you've always wanted to try but never had the chance?' That second question was gold. It showed she was there to enable them, not dictate to them. Luna: And that's exactly the kind of thing that builds trust. They realize you're not a threat, you're an ally who can unblock them. Lucas: Right. And then when you do need to make a hard decision — like reallocating budget away from a legacy project that your senior engineer loves — you've got enough relational capital to have that conversation. You can say, 'I know this project has been your baby for years. Here's the data that convinced me we need to shift resources. Can you help me design a transition that preserves what's good about it?' Luna: That's a script I'm definitely saving. I think a lot of new managers worry that if they don't act confidently, they'll be seen as weak. But this approach actually requires more confidence — the confidence to say 'I don't know, but I trust people who do.' Lucas: Exactly. And speaking of things that require trust — if you're finding value in these conversations, and they're helping you navigate real situations at work, that's exactly the kind of signal that keeps this show ad-free and listener-supported. If we've helped you think through a career move or a management challenge, consider throwing a coffee our way at buy me a coffee dot com slash fexingo. It helps us keep doing what we do, and it means a lot. Luna: Yeah, it really does. Even a couple of dollars makes a difference. And we genuinely do this for people like you, so knowing it lands is the best part of the job. Lucas: Alright — back to experience gaps. Another nuance: what about when you have to give feedback to someone who has more tenure? Say a direct report has been doing the same reporting process for ten years, but it's inefficient. How do you approach that without triggering defensiveness? Luna: Ooh, that's a tough one. I think you have to frame it around the business goal, not personal performance. 'We have a new requirement from the CFO that reports need to be delivered in this format. I know you're the expert on the data. How can we adapt the current process to meet that requirement?' Lucas: Right. You make the external constraint the bad guy, not yourself. And you position them as the solution. That's a classic influence technique, but it works precisely because it respects their expertise. If you say 'your process is outdated,' you've lost. If you say 'we need to solve this new problem together,' you've gained an ally. Luna: And after a few of those wins, the experienced team members start to see you as a leader who can actually help them get more resources, cut through red tape, or get visibility from higher-ups. That's when you've truly earned their buy-in. Lucas: Yeah. And that's the goal, right? Not to be the smartest person on the team, but to be the one who makes everyone else more effective. I'll close with one more story. A product manager I know took over a team of customer support reps — average tenure was eight years. She was 25. Instead of trying to change the support scripts, she spent her first month listening to calls. Then she brought the team three data-backed suggestions for reducing handle time. The team implemented them, and average satisfaction actually went up. She said the key was that she never once told them they were doing it wrong. She just showed them an opportunity. Luna: That's a perfect example. She didn't need to know the product inside out — she just needed to know how to look at data and ask good questions. That's leadership. Lucas: Exactly. The confidence to learn in public, the humility to listen, and the courage to make the call anyway. That's the recipe. Thanks for being here, everyone. We'll be back next week with another conversation.