Latest / Besties In Your Back Pocket / 7. Loving your body, with Camellia Jade

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7. Loving your body, with Camellia Jade · Besties In Your Back Pocket

0:02
SPEAKER_00: Welcome to Besties in Your Back Pocket.
0:05
SPEAKER_00: This is Angela.
0:07
SPEAKER_00: I am a trauma-informed comedian.
0:09
SPEAKER_00: And Amy's about it.
0:10
SPEAKER_00: Take it away.
0:11
SPEAKER_00: If you ever felt like you were playing small, shrinking yourself, or just going through the motions, waiting for your real life to begin, you just have a people.
0:20
SPEAKER_00: Welcome to the show where we don't go surface level, we go deep.
0:24
SPEAKER_00: Conversations that make you laugh, cry, think a little, and maybe make one tiny brave decision that changes everything.
0:31
SPEAKER_00: I'm Amy.
0:32
SPEAKER_00: I'm Angela.
0:33
SPEAKER_00: We're your besties in your back pocket.
0:35
SPEAKER_00: Always honest, always in your corner, and always ready to help you unlock that version of you that creates more.
0:41
SPEAKER_00: Because here's what we know when you learn to express yourself authentically, fully, joyfully, confidently, everything else starts to shift.
0:48
SPEAKER_00: We're really glad you're freaking here.
0:51
SPEAKER_00: You ready, baby?
0:52
SPEAKER_00: Lego.
0:54
SPEAKER_00: Did your mom know you were gonna be famous?
0:56
SPEAKER_00: I think so.
0:57
SPEAKER_00: My mom always just say that to my staff.
0:59
SPEAKER_00: She's like, you're gonna be famous one day.
1:01
SPEAKER_00: I'm like, no, I'm not mom.
1:03
SPEAKER_00: I'm scared of everyone.
1:05
SPEAKER_00: I'm gonna hide behind your pants.
1:07
SPEAKER_02: I was very shy too as a child.
1:09
SPEAKER_02: How funny is that?
1:10
SPEAKER_00: Really?
1:11
SPEAKER_00: Okay, I feel like we're already getting into the episode.
1:13
SPEAKER_00: We are.
1:14
SPEAKER_00: I'm just like, I love this.
1:15
SPEAKER_00: So let's do an official little introduction here.
1:18
SPEAKER_00: Today, we got Camellia Jade with here.
1:20
SPEAKER_00: She's incredible.
1:21
SPEAKER_00: She's all about body positivity and just helping women reconnect to their confidence.
1:27
SPEAKER_00: She makes amazing, incredible gatherings.
1:31
SPEAKER_00: She's spoken on stages.
1:32
SPEAKER_00: She's an absolute freaking queen.
1:34
SPEAKER_00: And I'm really freaking excited.
1:36
SPEAKER_00: I mean, we've been talking, we literally had lunch before this.
1:38
SPEAKER_00: I'm so excited to just continue like hanging out with this freaking queen next to me.
1:42
SPEAKER_00: You're like literally such a vibe.
1:43
SPEAKER_00: Right back at you.
1:45
SPEAKER_00: Absolutely vibe.
1:46
SPEAKER_00: Oh my gosh.
1:47
SPEAKER_00: Okay.
1:47
SPEAKER_00: Um, like, where do we even start?
1:49
SPEAKER_00: How did your whole like, oh my god, like I'm gonna stand on stages in my underwear and like get in women all about body positivity start?
1:58
SPEAKER_00: Like, where does that come from?
2:00
SPEAKER_02: My own insecurities.
2:02
SPEAKER_02: Yeah, yeah.
2:03
SPEAKER_02: So the little background on me, I worked at a clothing boutique, and that's where I started creating content, and that was how I grew my audience online.
2:13
SPEAKER_02: Yeah.
2:13
SPEAKER_02: And uh I had a very large following.
2:16
SPEAKER_02: I started doing in-person style sessions and women would come in, I would, you know, find them great clothes, we would film the sessions, and honestly, we would have like a little therapy session.
2:27
SPEAKER_02: They would come in, and some women needed to sit on the couch for 30 minutes and just talk before we even got started.
2:34
SPEAKER_02: You know, because when you are coming into a style session, you're really at a point where you're probably reinventing your life.
2:40
SPEAKER_02: Yeah.
2:40
SPEAKER_02: You know, you're going to a new stage in life.
2:43
SPEAKER_02: And so we would have a lot of conversations, and I worked with a majority of women who were post-menopausal.
2:51
SPEAKER_02: So their bodies were different than what they had known their whole life.
2:56
SPEAKER_00: Totally.
2:57
SPEAKER_02: And I really was just their cheerleader, like, hey, you have a different body.
3:02
SPEAKER_02: Let's dress the body that we have right now.
3:05
SPEAKER_02: And it was so much fun to help them understand how to dress the their bodies.
3:09
SPEAKER_02: And sometimes there were tears of joy and happiness.
3:13
SPEAKER_02: And I just developed such a great relationship with these women.
3:16
SPEAKER_02: Um, but one day I went home and I realized that the words I was sharing with these women were not the same words I was sharing with myself.
3:27
SPEAKER_02: Yes.
3:28
SPEAKER_02: So there was this disconnect between what I was saying and the way that I was acting to myself.
3:35
SPEAKER_02: And that was really what sparked the whole body positivity journey for me.
3:39
SPEAKER_02: So from there, I started a series called Your Body's Not the Problem, Your Clothes Are.
3:44
SPEAKER_02: And I stripped down to my underwear.
3:48
SPEAKER_02: On camera, I didn't tell anyone I was doing it.
3:51
SPEAKER_02: I didn't tell my husband.
3:52
SPEAKER_02: I didn't tell my boss at the time.
3:53
SPEAKER_02: I just filmed the content and shared it.
3:56
SPEAKER_00: Dude, I love this.
3:57
SPEAKER_02: I did not know how people would react, but everyone loved this series.
4:03
SPEAKER_02: It brought on so much positivity and helped so many women.
4:06
SPEAKER_02: And that was really what started the journey of speaking on stages in my underwear.
4:12
SPEAKER_02: It's just really talking the talk and also walking the walk at the same time.
4:18
SPEAKER_02: And I've done it as my body has changed.
4:20
SPEAKER_02: I gained about 30 pounds since I started doing this, and I'm still getting on stage in my underwear because it's still important.
4:26
SPEAKER_02: Yeah.
4:27
SPEAKER_00: Yes.
4:27
SPEAKER_00: Because like bodies are all beautiful and just been taught this, like, oh, your body has to look one specific way.
4:34
SPEAKER_00: And I don't know, as women are like, I remember returning 30.
4:36
SPEAKER_00: I'm like, wow, my body doesn't look the same as it did in my 20s.
4:40
SPEAKER_00: This is a hard pill to swallow.
4:42
SPEAKER_00: Yeah.
4:42
SPEAKER_00: And like thinking, like, oh, in my 20s, I thought I had done so much work of like, oh, this body positivity, and like I love my body, and then it changes and woo! Out the window it goes.
4:52
SPEAKER_02: When same for me.
4:54
SPEAKER_02: I thought I had done so much work and I thought I was so much further along in my self-love journey.
4:59
SPEAKER_02: Now that I've been on this journey for at least three years, I'm also realizing how much it is not just oh, accepting my body, but there's a lot of working through the mental challenges and the narratives that you've told yourself your whole life.
5:16
SPEAKER_02: That doesn't change overnight.
5:18
SPEAKER_02: It's a continual process, and your body will continue to change too.
5:22
SPEAKER_02: So you're always on this self-love journey.
5:24
SPEAKER_00: It's so true.
5:26
SPEAKER_00: And I mean, I think the work that you also do of okay, let's a, I mean, shopping for clothes, I think most women have had the meltdown of like, I'm trying to buy jeans.
5:35
SPEAKER_00: Or I my biggest meltdown was definitely in high school buying my prom dress.
5:38
SPEAKER_00: I think I cried in like every store and was like, I'm ugly, nothing will ever look good on me.
5:44
SPEAKER_00: Oh, I hate my body.
5:45
SPEAKER_02: And now you look back on those pictures and you're like, what was I thinking?
5:48
SPEAKER_02: Seriously.
5:48
SPEAKER_00: I'm like, oh my god, girl, you're like stunning.
5:51
SPEAKER_00: Like, what are you even talking about?
5:53
SPEAKER_00: You're fat.
5:53
SPEAKER_00: Like, just get out of here.
5:55
SPEAKER_00: You never realized it in the moment.
5:56
SPEAKER_00: I really never realize it.
5:58
SPEAKER_00: It's like the body dysmorphia.
5:59
SPEAKER_00: You can really see it in retrospect.
6:01
SPEAKER_00: Like, as the years go on, you're like, wow, I was not seeing my body as it looked.
6:07
SPEAKER_00: And I straight up was not.
6:09
SPEAKER_02: So this series actually made me realize how much body dysmorphia I have.
6:14
SPEAKER_02: Yeah.
6:15
SPEAKER_02: Because I would film these videos in my underwear to help other women, right?
6:20
SPEAKER_02: Just see another body.
6:21
SPEAKER_02: Yeah.
6:22
SPEAKER_02: Even if my body doesn't look like yours, it's just seeing more different types of bodies helps us neutralize what a body should look like.
6:31
SPEAKER_02: Absolutely.
6:32
SPEAKER_02: But I would watch his videos back, and in my head, I was like, wow, I look better than I thought I did that day.
6:41
SPEAKER_02: And what's even crazier, and this is why I'm so passionate about this, is I had started doing the work.
6:48
SPEAKER_02: I knew there was a difference between what I saw in the mirror and what reality was.
6:53
SPEAKER_02: Because reality is what I see on camera.
6:55
SPEAKER_02: But I went to a women's retreat and we did an exercise and we were supposed to envision ourselves.
7:01
SPEAKER_02: And the version of Camellia that I saw in my head was not the version that was true.
7:08
SPEAKER_02: And in that experience, I had to tell myself, Camellia, you know this is not what you look like.
7:15
SPEAKER_02: You just filmed yourself on stage less than seven days ago.
7:20
unknown: Whoa.
7:21
SPEAKER_02: This is not real because I was imagining my belly like huge pot belly, is what I saw in the mirror, right?
7:28
SPEAKER_02: In my imagination.
7:29
SPEAKER_02: And so I think that's why I'm so passionate because I, even having these tools, am having a hard time with having that body neutrality.
7:39
SPEAKER_02: So for another woman who hasn't experienced this or hasn't had the knowledge or seen herself on camera, how is she supposed to know how to get out of that like stuck place?
7:50
SPEAKER_02: You know what I mean?
7:51
SPEAKER_00: Yeah.
7:52
SPEAKER_00: What's your like biggest tip tool that you use or tell other women to be like, how do I get out of this stuck place?
7:57
SPEAKER_00: Because sometimes we have a bad day.
8:00
SPEAKER_00: It's like nothing looks good on me or I'm ugly or I'm fat or whatever the thing is.
8:06
SPEAKER_00: Bad body image day.
8:07
SPEAKER_00: Yeah.
8:07
SPEAKER_02: Bad body image day.
8:08
SPEAKER_02: I still have them.
8:09
SPEAKER_02: And you're going to have them because as women, our bodies change, right?
8:12
SPEAKER_02: With our menstrual cycles, or as the cycle starts to disappear and we move into that other stage, right?
8:18
SPEAKER_02: So I would say three things.
8:21
SPEAKER_02: Two are exercises that are really uncomfortable.
8:25
SPEAKER_02: One is to film yourself.
8:27
SPEAKER_02: Film yourself in your underwear, in a bikini, and then watch it back a few days later and think about what you saw in the mirror when you filmed that versus what is truly on the camera.
8:39
SPEAKER_02: You still might not love your body and you're going to see your imperfections, but you'll realize there's a disconnect.
8:46
SPEAKER_02: I told someone to do this, and she sent me a DM later and she was like, You are right.
8:51
SPEAKER_02: The other thing, which is an exercise, is to look at your body in the mirror and talk positively about your insecurities.
9:00
SPEAKER_02: Yeah.
9:01
SPEAKER_02: Right.
9:01
SPEAKER_02: So I say my back rolls are really cute.
9:04
SPEAKER_02: My body is really soft and squishy and huggable.
9:09
SPEAKER_02: And I love having a really soft, feminine body.
9:12
SPEAKER_02: You know, my cellulite is beautiful.
9:15
SPEAKER_02: Look at these gorgeous patterns that I see on my body.
9:19
SPEAKER_02: So that will start to help retrain the mind.
9:23
SPEAKER_02: Um, but on those days that you're having a bad body image day, you have to put on a great outfit.
9:31
SPEAKER_00: Yes, I feel that.
9:33
SPEAKER_02: Do not succumb to the urge to want to throw on leggings and a t-shirt and hide because you will feel worse.
9:40
SPEAKER_02: Anytime I put on a great outfit, I always feel better.
9:44
SPEAKER_02: And I'm a nicer person too.
9:46
SPEAKER_02: Yes.
9:47
SPEAKER_02: Like I'm nicer to other people because I feel better about myself.
9:50
SPEAKER_00: I am so, I'm a big proponent of this.
9:52
SPEAKER_00: I'm like, I mean, I wear pretty much like a mini skirt and a crop top every day.
9:55
SPEAKER_00: So I'm like, I feel good in a mini skirt and a crop top.
9:57
SPEAKER_00: And be like, where are you going?
9:58
SPEAKER_00: I'm like, I don't know.
9:59
SPEAKER_00: I just like putting glitter on my face and looking cute, and I feel like I show up better.
10:03
SPEAKER_00: And you know, some days I do have a day where I'm like, I just want to like dress like whatever's like comfy, and that's fine too.
10:09
SPEAKER_00: But it's so, it it like helps, I think, elevate me into a new version of myself, even outside of like body image stuff of like, oh, this is how the new version of Amy walks in the world.
10:20
SPEAKER_02: You are subconsciously more prepared for life in general.
10:25
SPEAKER_02: So you're going to be more productive, you're going to run the errand, you're going to show up on camera, you're going to do the things that you want to do because you feel prepared and you feel confident and you feel ready.
10:38
SPEAKER_00: Absolutely.
10:38
SPEAKER_00: And I feel like there's this like key of doing it for yourself.
10:42
SPEAKER_00: I think people often misconstrue for myself at least.
10:45
SPEAKER_00: They're like, oh my, who are you dressing up for?
10:47
SPEAKER_00: I'm like, for me.
10:48
SPEAKER_02: Because I see myself when I walk by a window or when I go to the bathroom and look in a mirror.
10:54
SPEAKER_02: So I'm a big proponent of having cute loungewear, even to just wear around the house.
10:58
SPEAKER_02: Yes.
10:58
SPEAKER_02: It makes a difference.
11:00
SPEAKER_00: I agree.
11:01
SPEAKER_00: Makes a difference.
11:02
SPEAKER_00: I agree.
11:03
SPEAKER_00: I'm like, I was literally just having a conversation about that yesterday.
11:05
SPEAKER_00: I'm like, I've been dressing like this for the last three years and I've been single.
11:09
SPEAKER_00: Like I like alone in my house.
11:11
SPEAKER_00: It's just for me.
11:13
SPEAKER_00: Literally just for me.
11:14
SPEAKER_02: Like, I think it goes even deeper than that now.
11:17
SPEAKER_02: If if we can have a conversation about this, please.
11:19
SPEAKER_02: I think it's kind of this like patriarchal thought of you have to get dressed up for someone else.
11:26
SPEAKER_02: So we have this thought of like, well, what's the point?
11:29
SPEAKER_02: I'm not leaving the house.
11:31
SPEAKER_02: I'm not seeing anyone.
11:32
SPEAKER_02: I can be lazy today.
11:35
SPEAKER_02: And you don't have to put that much effort into getting dressed and going out, right?
11:42
SPEAKER_02: You can have your few go-to outfits.
11:44
SPEAKER_02: You don't have to do your hair.
11:45
SPEAKER_02: You don't have to do your makeup.
11:47
SPEAKER_02: But I think there's this subconscious thought to women of like, oh, I just don't want to, or I don't have to, you know what I mean?
11:56
SPEAKER_02: Yeah.
11:56
SPEAKER_02: Absolutely.
11:57
SPEAKER_02: Like almost like the pendulum swing.
11:58
SPEAKER_00: Yeah.
11:59
SPEAKER_00: It's like it swung like so far in one direction for a long time.
12:02
SPEAKER_00: Like, women have to be like pristine all the time.
12:05
SPEAKER_00: And then sometimes you swing the other way.
12:06
SPEAKER_00: I know I've done that of like, oh, like I'm just gonna wear whatever and like not ever even brush my hair and just but on those days I'm like, oh, I hope I don't run into anyone while I'm out at the grocery store.
12:15
SPEAKER_00: And I don't want to feel that way.
12:16
SPEAKER_00: Yeah.
12:17
SPEAKER_00: I mean, you show up in a totally different way and you feel confident about yourself.
12:21
SPEAKER_00: And also like when you learn how to dress your body in a way where you're just like, I love how my body looks in this.
12:25
SPEAKER_00: Like, and I'll wear different things and go, wow, I feel like a potato.
12:32
SPEAKER_02: That is the funniest body shape that I hear all the time.
12:35
SPEAKER_02: People have said, How do I dress for my body?
12:37
SPEAKER_02: I'm like, Well, what's your body shape?
12:39
SPEAKER_02: A potato.
12:39
SPEAKER_02: I'm like, I I don't know what to do with that, ma'am.
12:42
SPEAKER_02: Yeah, what do you what do you there are lots of different potatoes out there?
12:46
SPEAKER_00: Potatoes are all shaped differently.
12:47
SPEAKER_00: It's true, it's true.
12:48
SPEAKER_00: It's like more like the vibe of how does a potato feel, just like in the dirt.
12:52
SPEAKER_00: I think that's more the energy behind it.
12:55
SPEAKER_02: Yeah, getting dressed though, I think makes such a difference.
12:58
SPEAKER_02: And for me, I had a bad body image day, but I put together a great outfit.
13:02
SPEAKER_02: I got three compliments that day.
13:04
SPEAKER_00: Yes.
13:05
SPEAKER_00: And they're great conversation starters.
13:07
SPEAKER_00: I find that when I like wear something cute, someone's like, oh, like I like your shirt, or those earrings are so cute, and then in.
13:14
SPEAKER_00: Now I can talk to you, random stranger, that I probably never would have had a conversation with.
13:19
SPEAKER_00: And sometimes you have just little serendipitous moments.
13:22
SPEAKER_00: And the number of people that go, Oh my god, these two minutes, they just made my day.
13:26
SPEAKER_00: I'm like, oh great.
13:28
SPEAKER_02: Yeah, that's and I always try and go out of my way to compliment other women.
13:32
SPEAKER_00: Oh my god, it's so good.
13:33
SPEAKER_00: Just like lose someone's day with a little bit.
13:37
SPEAKER_00: The effort will be noticed.
13:38
SPEAKER_00: It will be noticed.
13:40
SPEAKER_00: It will not go unappreciated.
13:42
SPEAKER_00: Okay, I'm curious what because you've like talked to so many women.
13:47
SPEAKER_00: What's like the top one, two, maybe three thoughts you're like, I wish women would retire this forever.
13:57
SPEAKER_02: That's really, really hard because you know, all women experience life differently.
14:05
SPEAKER_02: The biggest takeaway for me though is and and what I have realized myself.
14:12
SPEAKER_02: You only have this moment and you're never going to get it again.
14:17
SPEAKER_02: You can't relive your life.
14:18
SPEAKER_02: So the example that we were talking about earlier, where you look back on your high school pictures and you're like, why did I think I was fat?
14:24
SPEAKER_02: Or why did I think I was ugly?
14:27
SPEAKER_02: I'm even looking at some of my pictures from five years ago and I didn't appreciate what I had then.
14:31
SPEAKER_02: And so that's also part of my mission is to help women love who they are right now.
14:37
SPEAKER_02: Because you who wants to continue missing life right now, only to look back in the future and say, I wish I appreciated what I had then.
14:47
SPEAKER_01: Yeah.
14:48
SPEAKER_02: You're never going to get this moment back.
14:50
SPEAKER_02: So even if you've gained a little weight or you know, your body has changed, or maybe you don't feel your prettiest right now, we're all going through things, but you're never going to get these specific moments or these specific memories back.
15:03
unknown: Yeah.
15:03
SPEAKER_02: So make sure you're in the picture.
15:06
SPEAKER_00: Oh my God, that's such a like great thought.
15:08
SPEAKER_00: I was zooming out all the way to like my deathbed just now.
15:12
SPEAKER_00: Like, wow.
15:14
SPEAKER_00: I'm, you know, 90 years old.
15:16
SPEAKER_00: I'm like sitting on the front porch, rocking chair, the little picture book moment of like, wow, look at my life.
15:22
SPEAKER_00: Am I gonna say, wow, I'm so glad that I ruminated all those days where I hated my body?
15:28
SPEAKER_02: Yeah, or when you're gone, you know, your family members can't remember you if huge chunks of your life are missing.
15:35
unknown: Yeah.
15:36
SPEAKER_02: I've heard from a lot of women that they just, you know, they weren't in pictures.
15:39
SPEAKER_02: I never even thought about that for a long time.
15:43
SPEAKER_02: And so you're not going to get those moments back.
15:46
SPEAKER_02: And something that I have instituted myself to help me with this feeling of having to have the perfect photo, which I think a lot of people feel like they have to take the perfect photo now.
15:58
SPEAKER_02: They always want to look their best.
15:59
SPEAKER_02: Yeah.
16:00
SPEAKER_02: I have a one and done rule.
16:02
SPEAKER_02: Oh, what is kind of like old school cameras.
16:05
SPEAKER_02: I take a picture and I don't look at it.
16:07
SPEAKER_02: That's the picture that I got in the moment.
16:08
unknown: I love it.
16:09
SPEAKER_02: Because otherwise you can keep retaking pictures, keep your taking, especially if you're in a group.
16:13
SPEAKER_02: Oh, I didn't like that.
16:14
SPEAKER_02: I didn't like that.
16:15
SPEAKER_00: I didn't like you like 45 minutes later, like, oh, I was blinking.
16:19
SPEAKER_02: Yeah, the fun is out of it then.
16:20
SPEAKER_02: So I do a one, maybe two, a one or two rule, especially if I'm with other people.
16:25
SPEAKER_02: Totally, totally.
16:26
SPEAKER_02: And that's it.
16:27
SPEAKER_02: We're not retaking the photo.
16:28
SPEAKER_02: We're not trying to capture the perfect Instagram worthy photo.
16:32
SPEAKER_02: Just a one and done.
16:33
SPEAKER_00: I so feel you.
16:34
SPEAKER_00: Yeah, because I'm I'm a sucker for pictures.
16:36
SPEAKER_00: I love it.
16:37
SPEAKER_00: And I don't want it to take me out of the moment that I'm trying to remember.
16:41
SPEAKER_00: Because I've noticed, you know, it's like you get older, what do I remember?
16:44
SPEAKER_00: I remember the stuff I took pictures of.
16:46
SPEAKER_00: A lot of the other stuff you think you'll remember, and it just starts to slowly fade away if you don't have like some written or like picture thing.
16:55
SPEAKER_00: So I'll be like, okay, how can I like really quickly just like and then not be attached to, you know, being all on my phone here?
17:02
SPEAKER_00: Because you can be in the moment, but also be able to appreciate it.
17:06
SPEAKER_02: And gosh, I didn't even think about all the women that because also by taking multiple photos, what that does is it gives you an opportunity to scrutinize yourself.
17:15
SPEAKER_02: Yeah, you're right.
17:17
SPEAKER_02: You're so right.
17:19
SPEAKER_02: Oh, I need to suck in.
17:20
SPEAKER_02: Oh, I need to lift my chin.
17:22
SPEAKER_02: Oh, I need to fix my hair.
17:24
SPEAKER_02: Oh, I need to unless you're blinking, right?
17:28
SPEAKER_02: Then truly retake the photo.
17:29
SPEAKER_02: Yeah.
17:30
SPEAKER_02: But otherwise, or maybe you got food in your teeth or something.
17:33
SPEAKER_02: But you can really begin to truly scrutinize yourself over these photos in the moment.
17:39
SPEAKER_00: Oh my gosh, it's so true.
17:40
SPEAKER_00: And you know, it's like you're having a conversation with someone, like I'm sitting here, I'm not like, gosh, I wish she would like move her arm here and like tuck her chin down or like whatever.
17:48
SPEAKER_00: No one's thinking these things.
17:50
SPEAKER_02: You notice your own quote unquote flaws, your insecurities.
17:55
SPEAKER_02: So much more.
17:56
SPEAKER_02: So much more than everyone else.
17:58
SPEAKER_02: And think about it.
18:00
SPEAKER_02: Have you ever had an instance where like you did have food in your teeth, maybe?
18:03
SPEAKER_02: And later you're like, guys, why did no one tell me?
18:06
SPEAKER_02: And they say, Well, we didn't notice, or you know, you got a little boogie hanging out the bottom of your nose.
18:11
SPEAKER_02: Yeah, like we did notice because most people are not looking for those things.
18:15
SPEAKER_02: If they see it, hopefully they tell you because they are a good friend.
18:18
SPEAKER_02: Yeah, that we love those friends, but most of the time, people don't notice the things that you notice.
18:23
SPEAKER_00: They really don't.
18:24
SPEAKER_00: They really don't.
18:25
SPEAKER_00: It's so fascinating.
18:26
SPEAKER_00: Like, we're so dialed in.
18:28
SPEAKER_00: I think it's women particularly to just rip ourselves apart.
18:32
SPEAKER_00: And we've seen other women do it, you know, from like little girls, and we've been taught.
18:36
SPEAKER_00: Like, I think it's a great example to be like, wow, as a kid, no one told me that something was wrong with my body, like straight out.
18:42
SPEAKER_00: No one told me that, like, any, but I had seen so many women in my life stare at themselves in the mirror and say, gosh, if only my hair were thicker, or like, if only like, gosh, this like belly would go away, and like all of these things, and that's where I'm like, oh, that's where it all came from.
18:58
SPEAKER_02: It's all a learned behavior.
19:00
SPEAKER_02: So, interestingly enough, I watched a video and it was someone interviewing random people on the street, men and women.
19:07
SPEAKER_02: Yeah.
19:07
SPEAKER_02: And they said, Can you remember the first time someone made a comment about your body?
19:13
SPEAKER_02: I would say 10% of the men said yes.
19:19
SPEAKER_02: Uh-huh.
19:20
SPEAKER_02: And out of the, you know, the two out of the 10, right?
19:24
SPEAKER_02: Or something like that.
19:25
SPEAKER_02: Those who said yes, when they asked how old were you, they typically were in their late teens.
19:30
SPEAKER_02: Uh-huh.
19:31
SPEAKER_02: When they asked the woman women, every single woman could remember the first time a comment was made about her body.
19:38
unknown: Wow.
19:38
SPEAKER_02: And they typically were somewhere between eight to 12 years old.
19:41
SPEAKER_00: I was about to say, I can't remember the comment.
19:43
SPEAKER_00: I can remember the first comment I had about my body.
19:45
SPEAKER_00: I do too.
19:46
SPEAKER_00: I'm like, I remember sitting down on the toilet, I was eight years old and thinking my legs were so fat as they like splayed out on the toilet when you sat.
19:53
SPEAKER_00: I'm looking at pictures of me now.
19:54
SPEAKER_00: I'm like, you were a like a twig at eight years old.
19:58
SPEAKER_00: Just like no fat whatsoever.
20:00
SPEAKER_00: Um, oh, my heart breaks thinking about that.
20:03
SPEAKER_02: Yeah, it's all learned behaviors.
20:05
SPEAKER_02: Whether someone said something to us, we heard someone talking about us, or we picked up insecurities from other women and we heard them talking about their bodies.
20:16
SPEAKER_02: Yeah.
20:16
SPEAKER_02: So we picked that up.
20:18
SPEAKER_02: Someone told me that my legs were really hairy when I was nine years old.
20:22
SPEAKER_02: Nine?
20:23
SPEAKER_02: I never noticed leg hair before that.
20:26
SPEAKER_02: I have lasered my whole body now.
20:29
SPEAKER_02: I am a hairless Mora.
20:31
SPEAKER_02: Oh my god, I have no hair on me.
20:34
SPEAKER_02: Nine.
20:34
SPEAKER_02: So I started looking at legs when I was nine.
20:38
SPEAKER_02: And then when I was 10, someone made a comment about my belly, which was why I feel so self-conscious about my belly now.
20:46
SPEAKER_02: And I'm pretty sure that was the first year that I went on my Weight Watchers diet.
20:50
unknown: Wow.
20:51
SPEAKER_00: Yeah.
20:52
SPEAKER_00: 10.
20:52
SPEAKER_00: 10.
20:53
SPEAKER_00: That's young.
20:54
SPEAKER_02: Yeah.
20:54
SPEAKER_00: Holy crap, how do you even get access to Weight Watchers at 10?
20:58
SPEAKER_02: Oh, well, you know.
21:00
SPEAKER_00: You find your way.
21:01
SPEAKER_02: You find your way.
21:01
SPEAKER_02: You find your way.
21:02
SPEAKER_02: Yeah.
21:02
SPEAKER_00: Yeah.
21:03
SPEAKER_00: Oh my God, that's wild.
21:05
SPEAKER_00: I I've talked to a lot of girls.
21:06
SPEAKER_00: Um, I did the special K.
21:08
SPEAKER_00: I don't know if you remember this.
21:10
SPEAKER_00: I that's what I think I was 12, and there was like three bowls of special K a day.
21:14
SPEAKER_00: Well, like, you know, cinch your waste like this.
21:17
SPEAKER_00: And there's like the measuring tape with like the impossibly skinny waste on the packaging, and be like, oh, okay.
21:21
SPEAKER_00: Like if I just start eating less and start eating more special K.
21:25
SPEAKER_02: Yeah.
21:25
SPEAKER_02: I did the three-day diet, which is the three-day diet, I think it consisted something of, you know, tea and an egg for breakfast, and then probably one piece of toast and a cup of tuna fish, and you know, an orange for lunch.
21:41
SPEAKER_01: Yeah.
21:41
SPEAKER_02: But I remember you could have one scoop of vanilla ice cream for dessert, and that was great.
21:45
SPEAKER_02: But it was called the three day diet, and you were supposed to lose up to 10 pounds in three days.
21:50
SPEAKER_02: Oh my god.
21:51
SPEAKER_02: That's not 10 pounds.
21:52
SPEAKER_02: That is water weight.
21:54
SPEAKER_02: Yeah.
21:54
SPEAKER_02: That is you starving yourself for three days and barely surviving.
21:58
SPEAKER_02: And then as soon as you eat again, you're And he's like right back to it.
22:02
SPEAKER_02: Actually, I if we can, I want to talk about the parasite that's going around right now, the fresh produce parasite.
22:10
SPEAKER_02: I'm seeing all these meme videos of people saying, Oh, going to grab my bag of lettuce so I can lose 15 pounds.
22:19
SPEAKER_02: And they are kind of funny because we're, you know, laughing at this.
22:25
SPEAKER_02: However, I feel like this is continuing that cycle of how can I quickly and easily lose 15 pounds, even if it means putting myself at risk of getting a parasite.
22:37
SPEAKER_00: That's crazy.
22:38
SPEAKER_00: Like people are like serious about it.
22:41
SPEAKER_02: I mean, I don't know.
22:43
SPEAKER_02: I don't know if people are serious about it.
22:45
SPEAKER_02: I think I think it's more joking.
22:47
SPEAKER_02: Yeah.
22:47
SPEAKER_02: Right?
22:48
SPEAKER_02: But they're saying people are losing weight because they're getting diarrhea, but people are getting hospitalized.
22:53
SPEAKER_02: Like this is a serious thing, and people are joking, licking peppers and saying, Oh, I'm gonna lose my 15 pounds.
22:59
SPEAKER_00: Oh God, it's not worth it.
23:01
SPEAKER_00: I've had food poisoning before and lost a lot of weight and like gotten seriously ill.
23:05
SPEAKER_00: Don't do it.
23:06
SPEAKER_02: I had mono before and I looked so sick because I wasn't eating, you know, all of that.
23:12
SPEAKER_02: And I get it, we we want to kind of make light of certain situations, but I think if we really analyze the joke, all we're doing is we're perpetuating this idea that skinny is better and do what I can to be skinny because skinny is better.
23:30
SPEAKER_02: Like that's just the message that we have drilled into our heads that just is continuing.
23:36
SPEAKER_02: And now it's not even be skinny, but be unhealthy.
23:40
SPEAKER_02: And if you're unhealthy and you're skinny, great.
23:43
SPEAKER_02: If you don't have a period but you're skinny, okay.
23:46
SPEAKER_02: Scary, you know, his.
23:48
SPEAKER_00: I cause I'm like, how has this narrative of I'll finally be lovable when I'm smaller, when I weigh less, when I look a certain way?
23:59
SPEAKER_00: I mean, you look at any baby in the whole wide world and no one has ever thought that.
24:04
SPEAKER_00: And we were all babies at one point.
24:05
SPEAKER_00: We were babies are chunk monsters.
24:08
SPEAKER_00: We like their little rolls and stuff.
24:10
SPEAKER_00: You know, when does it become unacceptable to be a chunk monster?
24:13
SPEAKER_00: Yes, it's it's like you're just as lovable as you were on day one when you just like chunk monstered into this world, and I don't uh understand how the narrative has just gotten so like it's just a distraction, I think, at some point of like, okay, like if we can keep women so focused on like I'm not enough, I'm not worthy, I'm not lovable, and let me just focus on changing myself in this way that doesn't matter, then I'm not using all of these incredible gifts and skills and dreams that I have because I'm just deteriorating myself from the inside out.
24:46
SPEAKER_02: Yes, you said it.
24:47
SPEAKER_02: You are malnourished, so you are underfueled, you're not using your brain.
24:52
SPEAKER_02: It is it literally is so much deeper than just body image, it is keeping women small.
24:58
SPEAKER_01: It really is.
24:59
SPEAKER_02: Not just physically, but mentally, spiritually, emotionally, all of that.
25:05
SPEAKER_02: And all the things.
25:06
SPEAKER_02: We want women to be small so we can control them.
25:09
SPEAKER_02: Yeah.
25:09
SPEAKER_02: Maybe I'm overstepping.
25:11
SPEAKER_00: That's my theory.
25:12
SPEAKER_00: I'm honestly here with you.
25:14
SPEAKER_00: Because if you're you are what you focus on.
25:16
SPEAKER_00: So if you're so like so many of your thoughts, you know, there's what, say 20% of your thoughts might be going towards some days of I'm not enough, oh my god, like I wish I looked better in this, like, oh, like how do I cover up?
25:28
SPEAKER_00: Like all of these little thoughts, those are taking your energy away from what how can I love the people in my life just like in a fuller way?
25:35
SPEAKER_00: How can I show up for my dreams in a big way?
25:38
SPEAKER_00: That's like all of that just starts.
25:41
SPEAKER_02: How can I be the best version of me for everyone else in my life, all the people that I love?
25:48
SPEAKER_02: You know, if you're malnourished, the little energy that you have, you can't use that to make the world a better place.
25:55
SPEAKER_02: And women are so powerful.
25:57
SPEAKER_02: They're incredible.
25:59
SPEAKER_02: We're so incredible, but we're trained to have these specific body goals, and also we're kind of trained to not be supportive of one another.
26:11
SPEAKER_00: It's true.
26:12
SPEAKER_00: I mean, we're competitive.
26:13
SPEAKER_00: I mean, like, particularly, I think, around body image stuff.
26:17
SPEAKER_00: Like, I think a lot of people aren't speaking about it, but you know, you might like feel this like, oh, I'm comparing myself to like how you look, and now I feel like less than because I feel like you're hotter than me or something like that.
26:29
SPEAKER_02: And it's like this is like unspoken little thing, and yeah, we gotta work through it.
26:34
SPEAKER_02: It's it's difficult.
26:36
SPEAKER_02: I mean, it definitely will make you feel uncomfortable at times looking at your body, but I think if you can have not even body positivity, but just body neutrality, yeah, is so important where your body just is not consuming the majority of your thoughts every single day.
26:53
SPEAKER_02: And I think, in my personal opinion, two things can be true.
26:58
SPEAKER_02: I think you can feel uncomfortable in your body because of the narrative that you've told yourself your whole life and what you've seen and what you've heard from other people.
27:10
SPEAKER_02: And maybe there are certain parts of your body that make you feel uncomfortable and you don't want to show off, but also you can love those parts of yourself as well.
27:20
SPEAKER_02: Because while my belly is my most insecure part of my body, there are certain days I will still wear a crop top.
27:27
SPEAKER_01: Totally.
27:27
SPEAKER_02: Because I feel fabulous.
27:29
SPEAKER_02: Yeah.
27:29
SPEAKER_02: And there are other days that my belly makes me feel really uncomfortable and I want to hide it.
27:33
SPEAKER_00: Yeah.
27:34
SPEAKER_02: You can have both.
27:35
SPEAKER_00: Absolutely.
27:36
SPEAKER_00: I feel like that's also a beautiful metaphor for it's like, okay, love all of like the physical parts, but all of the like emotional parts of us as well.
27:43
SPEAKER_00: Like, oh, I have this part of me that I feel like I should shame and hide that actually, like, I'm Amy Dickens and I show up like this, but I really doubt myself.
27:52
SPEAKER_00: Like, I really doubt myself so much.
27:53
SPEAKER_00: And I spend a lot of time like feeling shame about that and not liking that part of myself.
27:58
SPEAKER_00: And it's actually when I say, okay, let me stop making that part of myself like the bad guy and so wrong.
28:03
SPEAKER_00: And like, how can I send that guy a little bit of love?
28:06
SPEAKER_02: And it's always the most outgoing women that have a lot of insecurities that people would never know about.
28:12
SPEAKER_02: God, I know.
28:13
SPEAKER_02: Never know.
28:13
SPEAKER_02: I have so much social anxiety, which no one would guess because I get on stage in my underwear and I create videos in my underwear on stage or you know, for uh my social media, and people think I'm so confident with these messages that I share, but I hate walking into a room where I don't know anyone.
28:35
SPEAKER_00: Yeah.
28:35
SPEAKER_02: My my biggest fear is small talk.
28:37
SPEAKER_02: Totally.
28:38
SPEAKER_02: Put me on a stage in my underwear in front of a thousand people, I'm good to go.
28:41
SPEAKER_00: Yeah, no, I feel you.
28:42
SPEAKER_00: I'm like on with a microphone in front of me, like, this is easy.
28:45
SPEAKER_00: I can do this all freaking day.
28:47
SPEAKER_02: I can talk off the I can talk off the top of my head.
28:49
SPEAKER_02: Like it's nobody's business.
28:50
SPEAKER_02: We all have our strengths and our weaknesses, and that's where I think it's really important to be vulnerable and share these messages of, hey, you should love your body.
29:00
SPEAKER_02: I'm working on loving my body, but at the same time, there are parts of my body that I don't love all the time.
29:07
SPEAKER_02: Yeah.
29:07
SPEAKER_02: And you don't have to be, and I don't think you should be chronically positive because that's exhausting and it's not real.
29:15
SPEAKER_00: Yeah.
29:15
SPEAKER_00: I mean, I think when we're vulnerable and we say, wow, like, I mean, sometimes I definitely feel insecure about like, wow, like there's a lot more like flabbies, like just everywhere, quite frankly, than there used to be.
29:25
SPEAKER_00: And thinking, oh, like, I think I should like hide that sometimes and be like, no, like I love my sheriff and I love other parts of my body.
29:32
SPEAKER_00: And to say, actually, you know what?
29:34
SPEAKER_00: Some days I know objectively I'm hot and I don't feel it.
29:39
SPEAKER_00: Like, and like both realities are true.
29:42
SPEAKER_00: Like, okay, like I know, I'm like freaking like slice and I'm really not feeling that today.
29:49
SPEAKER_02: It's like we all have our own imposter syndrome about who we are occasionally, and I think that's okay, and that is real, and I think that's important because it means you have a message that you want to share with everyone.
30:03
SPEAKER_02: And so if you doubt yourself sometimes, that's you just doing your own kind of, you know, check-in with yourself and you're like, wait, am I, you know, am I aligned in what I'm saying?
30:12
SPEAKER_02: And part of that is maybe shaking some old stereotypes, you know, that you have.
30:17
SPEAKER_02: For me, I've realized I'm a huge people pleaser as an adult because I had friends leave me at all different stages of my life throughout childhood.
30:26
SPEAKER_02: And so I'm always really scared that someone's just going to disappear out of the blue.
30:31
SPEAKER_02: I feel yeah.
30:32
SPEAKER_02: But part of that is, you know, in me learning to love myself and feel more secure, I don't feel as attached to people.
30:41
SPEAKER_02: You know what I mean?
30:42
SPEAKER_02: They they they come and they go, and um, but the people who really do love you and really do support you are going to continue to be there for you no matter what.
30:52
SPEAKER_02: I mean, I have a best friend, and I hadn't talked to her for six or seven months.
30:58
SPEAKER_02: She lives not far from me, 20 minutes up the road.
31:01
SPEAKER_02: We went to a friend's wedding in another state, and that was the first time we connected, but it was like nothing had changed.
31:07
SPEAKER_00: Yeah, you know, some people you can really just like get right back into it, and it's so beautiful.
31:12
SPEAKER_00: And that is like the painful thing, I think, sometimes of I was just thinking of you like watching, like, wow, you're a leader and a role model, and it's so beautiful to see how you do that with vulnerability and how many women I'm sure see that and go, like, wow, it's okay to be me.
31:28
SPEAKER_00: And how it's almost like like you're like a strong, powerful woman, but there's a softness to it of oh my gosh, like the permission slip that you give women that's so beautiful.
31:39
SPEAKER_00: And I'm sure that like as you're on your own growth journey, people come and go.
31:43
SPEAKER_00: Like when you're like, I'm committed to being the best version of myself, I'm gonna grow, I'm gonna change.
31:48
SPEAKER_00: It's really incredible.
31:49
SPEAKER_00: And like some people don't get to stay along on the journey because they just fall out of resonance or whatever things may come, and it's really painful.
31:59
SPEAKER_02: Yeah, I well, I appreciate you saying that so much.
32:01
SPEAKER_02: And I think one of the reasons I am such a strong proponent of giving women that permission slip to love themselves is because I struggled with that my whole life.
32:09
SPEAKER_02: I didn't love myself my whole life, I didn't like myself, I felt very insecure, and so it's so much easier to give that to other women.
32:18
SPEAKER_02: And so while I will continue to do that, I'm working on doing the same thing for myself at the same time.
32:25
SPEAKER_00: Oh, totally.
32:26
SPEAKER_00: I feel like I'm imagining most of us that are like, I'm a leader, I'm a woman with a mission.
32:31
SPEAKER_00: Like, looks like, yeah, in some ways, like I have walked a lot of steps like in this path, probably more than most people.
32:38
SPEAKER_00: And that work probably works us like the most sometimes, like more so that we can learn how to walk other people and meet other people and resonate with other people and like empathize with them.
32:49
SPEAKER_00: Like, I've walked a mile in those shoes.
32:52
SPEAKER_00: I've I've been there and I continue to get to walk that walk.
32:57
SPEAKER_02: Yeah, and it's so beautiful too, because by me sharing a whole a whole lot of myself.
33:05
unknown: Yeah.
33:06
SPEAKER_02: Basically everything.
33:08
SPEAKER_02: Um, a lot of women have shared, you know, their stories with me and been really vulnerable with me.
33:13
SPEAKER_02: And so that's really cool to have the women say, hey, you've helped give me a new perspective.
33:20
SPEAKER_02: You've helped me change the way that I view myself.
33:22
SPEAKER_02: Someone told me they're gonna go back to therapy based on one of the videos that I shared and some of the work that I'm doing.
33:28
SPEAKER_02: So, you know, it myself sometimes I feel like, oh, am I the right person to be sharing this?
33:34
SPEAKER_02: Because I'm not a hundred percent confident in who I am all the time.
33:38
SPEAKER_02: Yes.
33:39
SPEAKER_02: But it's like exposure therapy by me forcing myself to be that person for others, it's helping me learn how to be that person for myself as well.
33:47
SPEAKER_00: Absolutely.
33:48
SPEAKER_00: I mean, like those moments of imposter syndrome, I can definitely relate of like, wow, I'm like the fucking joy lady and I am not embodying that in this moment.
33:55
SPEAKER_00: And then you get the reps of, okay, and this is how I can a bazillion and one times walk all the way out here to my suffering and remember, okay, here's whatever tools, and I can bring myself back to like my center, like and teach other people to do the same.
34:09
SPEAKER_00: And you're freaking doing it.
34:11
SPEAKER_00: Um, and I want to hear more also about the community of women that you gather in these parties and like the slumber party and the 90s dance party and all the fun things that you create.
34:21
SPEAKER_00: I'm like, oh my God, I love it.
34:23
SPEAKER_02: Yeah, yeah.
34:24
SPEAKER_02: That was another thing that really was born from the body dysmorphia that I was experiencing.
34:30
SPEAKER_02: So once I realized there was a difference between what I saw, you know, online and what I saw in the mirror.
34:37
SPEAKER_02: And once I realized how I would say, you know, blessed I was to have this experience, my next thought one day was, oh my gosh, I know this about myself.
34:49
SPEAKER_02: But how many women don't know this?
34:52
SPEAKER_02: Right?
34:52
SPEAKER_02: How many women don't know that they have this body dysmorphia?
34:57
SPEAKER_02: And how can I get other women to feel more comfortable in their bodies?
35:01
SPEAKER_02: And so I was on a walk one day.
35:02
SPEAKER_02: My best ideas come on my walks.
35:04
SPEAKER_02: Yes.
35:04
SPEAKER_02: Or in the shower.
35:05
SPEAKER_02: I feel that.
35:06
SPEAKER_02: That's the running joke.
35:07
SPEAKER_02: If I get an idea, everyone will say, Were you on a walk or were you in the shower?
35:12
SPEAKER_02: So this day in particular, I was on a walk listening to some great music, and this truly vision just came to me.
35:20
SPEAKER_02: And I saw a bunch of women dancing in their underwear, dancing and being free in a dark room with some great music, no mirrors around, so you don't see yourself.
35:32
SPEAKER_02: Yeah.
35:32
SPEAKER_02: But you see other women and you see other types of bodies, you see other, you know, you see the flabby arms, you see the bellies, you see the cellulite, you see the jiggly thighs, you you see other women, but in this fun space.
35:48
SPEAKER_02: I love it.
35:49
SPEAKER_02: So what I wanted to do was essentially create a fun experience that women can associate with the nakedness of their body.
35:57
SPEAKER_02: Oh my god.
35:58
SPEAKER_02: Yeah.
35:59
SPEAKER_02: So it's not just you standing in front of the mirror judging yourself.
36:04
SPEAKER_02: It's you feeling free because you see other types of bodies, you see other women not caring.
36:11
SPEAKER_02: And the best part about this particular event, my uh the body confidance event uh that I do every year.
36:19
SPEAKER_02: It's the weekend before Valentine's Day.
36:22
SPEAKER_02: So Galantine's Day weekend.
36:24
SPEAKER_02: So it's like self-love and girlfriends and all of the good vibes.
36:28
SPEAKER_02: I have a boudoir photographer there.
36:30
SPEAKER_00: Oh my God.
36:31
SPEAKER_02: And she does mini photo shoots with all the girls.
36:33
SPEAKER_02: Come on! So that way it also adds to this powerful experience because boudoir photography is so beautiful because they know how to pose women in a way that no matter what your insecurities are, they're going to make you look beautiful.
36:49
SPEAKER_02: Even if your back rolls are showing, they know how to like totally twist your body so it looks so beautiful and graceful, and they make you feel sexy and you know, all of these things.
36:58
SPEAKER_02: And so um, at this last event, she had a beautiful cloud backdrop.
37:03
SPEAKER_02: So we all looked like little perfect angel babies.
37:07
SPEAKER_02: I love that.
37:08
SPEAKER_02: It was amazing.
37:09
SPEAKER_02: And every woman got to go home with a little Polaroid, and then a few days later, they got a link to a gallery where they could purchase additional pictures if they wanted to.
37:17
SPEAKER_02: And some women shared their photos online, and it's just a really great experience.
37:22
SPEAKER_02: And then what the women do is usually everyone will get their own individual shots and then they'll do friend group shots.
37:28
SPEAKER_02: Cute.
37:29
SPEAKER_02: Yes.
37:30
SPEAKER_02: You can get like some fun photos with your girlfriends, and sometimes we have props, you know, it's different every year.
37:36
SPEAKER_02: But that that is something that's really important to me because I think it adds to that experience of seeing your body portrayed in a way that is different than you normally would, and it is so beautiful.
37:48
SPEAKER_00: Oh my god, I love it.
37:49
SPEAKER_00: I'm honestly so glad that I get to hear like the inner mechanisms of your mind so consciously cultivating this experience.
37:57
SPEAKER_00: Like you've really thought about how to give people a transformational experience of okay, I'm gonna maybe walk into this room feeling pretty uncomfortable and pretty insecure.
38:06
SPEAKER_00: Which honestly, like if that's a first recipe to change.
38:09
SPEAKER_00: Like, if you're not like, ooh, this is a little stretchy, like it's not gonna change you as much.
38:13
SPEAKER_00: It's like, you know, I'm pretty confident, this is pretty good.
38:16
SPEAKER_00: Like, you're just gonna have a good time, and that's great too.
38:17
SPEAKER_00: But if you have that and then you're allowing women to dance and breathe free, which biochemically is like changing how you're feeling in your body, and you go, oh my god, like I am hot, like I am a slice, and then you have the the photos where people are like, actually, I'm gonna teach you how to position your body so that you are maybe reflecting the beauty that you really are.
38:41
SPEAKER_00: Because I mean, there's like a skillfulness to that as well.
38:44
SPEAKER_00: Yeah, and then women are leaving that I'm like a bazillion bugs.
38:50
SPEAKER_00: I love that.
38:51
SPEAKER_02: It's very transformative.
38:52
SPEAKER_02: I get so much positive feedback about the experience, and I do my best to make it a really positive and you know, safe environment.
39:02
SPEAKER_02: So we're always in a super private venue.
39:04
SPEAKER_02: It's women only, you know, women vendors.
39:07
SPEAKER_02: So we have female DJ, we have female photographer, um, boudoir photographer, female bartender, you know, all of the things.
39:15
SPEAKER_02: Something else that's really important to me is being as inclusive as possible.
39:18
SPEAKER_02: So, of course, we always have cocktails, mocktails, I always make sure there's food for everyone.
39:22
SPEAKER_02: So gluten-free options, vegan options.
39:25
SPEAKER_02: If there are any specific allergies, I always let people, you know, put that down.
39:30
SPEAKER_02: Um, and it's come as you are.
39:32
SPEAKER_02: So we have some women that come, and now that I've done it twice, it's cool to see the transformation.
39:38
SPEAKER_02: Some women came the first year a little bit more dressed up and the second year a little bit more dressed down.
39:45
SPEAKER_02: Uh some women, you know, they are like, hey, I want to show up, but I am not comfortable in, you know, being in my brawn underwear.
39:55
SPEAKER_02: So I'm gonna wear a pajama set, I'm gonna wear a bathrobe, whatever.
39:57
SPEAKER_02: I'm going to have fun.
39:58
SPEAKER_02: Some girls even show up in leggings and a t-shirt.
40:01
SPEAKER_02: It does not matter.
40:03
SPEAKER_02: But then we have other women who are wearing their lingerie bodysuits, their teddies, their garter belts, their nipple tassels, their pasties, their fishnet body suits.
40:16
SPEAKER_02: And what's really cool is we have women that are coming from all different backgrounds and they all come into the space in a way that feels comfortable to them.
40:26
SPEAKER_01: Yeah.
40:27
SPEAKER_02: But most women usually start the night a little bit more clothed and then will either strip down or do an outfit change and wear something a little more scandalous once they feel more comfortable.
40:39
SPEAKER_02: But it's definitely a really, really cool experience.
40:42
SPEAKER_00: Oh my gosh, that's so great.
40:44
SPEAKER_00: And I feel like it's like the such a great metaphor of like, oh, like some women are just like, I'm in yoga pants and a t-shirt, and that's what I needed to get myself in the room.
40:54
SPEAKER_00: Sometimes I think we like put like, oh, like I need to like become that woman who can like freaking wear like lingerie in front of everyone to show up.
41:01
SPEAKER_00: And like, no, like come like as you need in order to show up for yourself in this, like maybe edgy moment to like be your own, you know, best friend in that.
41:10
SPEAKER_00: And like, okay, like this is what I need to step into this edgy, growth yom.
41:14
SPEAKER_00: Of like, oh my god, and then on the other side, like, all right, next year I'm ready to like take it to the next step for me.
41:19
SPEAKER_00: And that's not better or worse.
41:21
SPEAKER_00: That's not like nipple tassels are better than yoga pants, like just different strokes or different folks.
41:27
SPEAKER_02: And the experience and the energy, it truly is indescribable.
41:33
SPEAKER_02: I tell everyone, you have to be there to understand just the feeling that you get when you step into that room.
41:40
SPEAKER_02: And I have women that come with friends, I have women that have come by themselves before and they've met people at these events.
41:47
SPEAKER_02: I have women who um have told me, you know, through some feedback forms anonymously they've they have sexual trauma and they said that this was really healing for them, which meant so much to me because having women in a room, you know, exposed could trigger some things in people.
42:07
SPEAKER_02: And I don't know how to handle that.
42:10
SPEAKER_02: You know, I'm not a therapist.
42:12
SPEAKER_02: I don't have any background in that.
42:14
SPEAKER_02: But for this woman to share at least just her one personal experience with me made me feel so so good and so happy to have created this space that could heal something in her.
42:29
SPEAKER_02: And it kind of gave me that little nudge to keep going and do it bigger and do it better because this is something that is needed.
42:38
SPEAKER_00: Yeah, absolutely.
42:39
SPEAKER_00: I mean, these spaces and clearly the spaces like you create to create that level of transformation and for her to be like, I'm gonna share this with you as well.
42:46
SPEAKER_00: Like, she wouldn't share that with you if she didn't feel safe around you, and she probably wouldn't have had that transformational experience if she also didn't feel safe in the room that you had cultivated.
42:55
SPEAKER_00: And that's so incredible and rare.
42:59
SPEAKER_00: And I'm like, I just where do you see this going?
43:02
SPEAKER_00: Do you see it like expanding, growing like around you?
43:05
SPEAKER_02: I need to find a bigger venue this year.
43:07
SPEAKER_02: Yeah, like bigger, bigger, women in the room.
43:11
SPEAKER_02: Yeah, we've sold out the last two years, and we've just outgrown.
43:15
SPEAKER_02: I love the venue we've had, but I think we're outgrowing that.
43:19
SPEAKER_02: And I I want as many people as possible to experience this.
43:23
SPEAKER_02: And I don't know what the future holds exactly.
43:26
SPEAKER_02: I did something different this year with the 90s dance party, which was really fun.
43:32
SPEAKER_02: And a comment that was made to me after from someone said, uh, she said, it's one thing to get a bunch of women together, but it's another thing to create a space where women feel truly free.
43:43
SPEAKER_02: And this wasn't the PJ and lingerie dance party.
43:46
SPEAKER_02: It wasn't the body confidence party.
43:48
SPEAKER_02: This was just a get-together with a 90s theme.
43:52
SPEAKER_02: We had a 360 photo booth, we had uh yeah, some really fun backdrops, we had these great little desserts that were made, and it was just a really cool experience.
44:03
SPEAKER_02: So I'm doing more gatherings.
44:05
SPEAKER_02: I don't know.
44:06
SPEAKER_02: I want to do more themed parties because I love a theme.
44:09
SPEAKER_02: I love the excuse to get dressed up as an adult.
44:11
SPEAKER_02: Yeah.
44:12
SPEAKER_02: Um, but the body confidence party for sure will always be that staple in Raleigh.
44:17
SPEAKER_02: I would love to expand that into other cities.
44:19
SPEAKER_01: Oh my god.
44:20
SPEAKER_02: You know, I think that would be so much fun.
44:22
SPEAKER_02: It's it's a lot of work.
44:24
SPEAKER_02: Oh, I'm sure.
44:25
SPEAKER_00: I don't have you go all out.
44:27
SPEAKER_02: I don't have a team right now, but I Oh my God, you go balls to the wall.
44:30
SPEAKER_02: Yeah.
44:31
SPEAKER_02: Yeah.
44:32
SPEAKER_02: I really want it to be, you know, an experience.
44:34
SPEAKER_02: And I think it really is.
44:36
SPEAKER_02: So one of my goals would be to, you know, create a team so we can really just make something really special.
44:42
SPEAKER_02: And I think every woman should be able to experience this.
44:47
SPEAKER_02: And so for right now, they have to come to Raleigh to experience it.
44:51
SPEAKER_02: But hopefully we'll be able to bring it to a city near them soon.
44:53
SPEAKER_00: Oh my God.
44:54
SPEAKER_00: Wow.
44:54
SPEAKER_00: Thank you for creating these faces and all that you are and do in the world.
44:58
SPEAKER_00: How can our amazing listeners stay in your world?
45:01
SPEAKER_00: Anything that you want to share?
45:03
SPEAKER_02: Yeah, so I would say um the bit I am most active on Instagram right now.
45:08
SPEAKER_02: Yeah.
45:09
SPEAKER_02: Um, so my handle is Camellia like the flower underscore jade like the gemstone.
45:15
SPEAKER_02: Um, so that's where I am.
45:17
SPEAKER_02: And I have links to the body confidance party.
45:20
SPEAKER_02: And so I am hoping to do more gatherings and expand.
45:23
SPEAKER_02: I've done Raleigh, I've done Durham.
45:26
SPEAKER_02: We're doing a little pool gathering soon.
45:29
SPEAKER_02: Yeah.
45:30
SPEAKER_02: Um, so though that's where I'm most active, but I'm also on TikTok.
45:33
SPEAKER_02: I mean, just yeah, you search Camellia Jade.
45:36
SPEAKER_02: I will pop up.
45:36
SPEAKER_02: Absolutely.
45:37
SPEAKER_02: Send me a DM.
45:38
SPEAKER_02: I'm always open to you know having conversations.
45:42
SPEAKER_02: And yeah, I just I love just helping women feel good.
45:45
SPEAKER_02: It's what I'm all about.
45:46
SPEAKER_00: Yes, helping women feel good.
45:48
SPEAKER_00: Oh my god.
45:49
SPEAKER_00: All right, well, all of that's gonna be down in the show notes, and now you're gonna want to stay in her world.
45:53
SPEAKER_00: It's absolutely incredible, inspirational, and just like a sweet little treat to like be scrolling and be like, oh my god, this is what she's doing today.
46:00
SPEAKER_00: So good.
46:02
SPEAKER_00: I gotta come out to Raleigh one of these days for one of your parties.
46:04
SPEAKER_02: Listen, you better be at the next body confidance party.
46:08
SPEAKER_00: I gotta like mark my freaking calendar.
46:11
SPEAKER_02: You got plenty of time.
46:13
SPEAKER_02: It's in February.
46:14
SPEAKER_00: It's in February.
46:14
SPEAKER_00: I got like more than six months to prepare.
46:17
SPEAKER_02: Yeah, but I think this will be my third year.
46:19
SPEAKER_02: Like I said, I'm going to do a bigger venue, so that probably means we'll be adding a little bit more.
46:25
SPEAKER_02: So it's it's amazing.
46:27
SPEAKER_02: I love it.
46:27
SPEAKER_00: Oh my gosh.
46:28
SPEAKER_00: All right, beautiful listeners, thank you so much.
46:30
SPEAKER_00: And love your body a little extra today or be neutral about it, wherever you're at.
46:34
SPEAKER_00: And like comment below, you know, whatever.
46:36
SPEAKER_00: Like, maybe like really was like, oh my god, that really touched my heart.
46:41
SPEAKER_00: Would love to hear all about it.
46:42
SPEAKER_00: And we'll see you next time on the app.
46:44
SPEAKER_00: Share it with somebody that you think uh would really love to hear some of this wisdom from this beautiful, freaking radiant woman that we have here today.
46:53
SPEAKER_00: Thanks so much for being here.
46:55
SPEAKER_00: Thank you.
46:56
SPEAKER_00: Oh my god, so good.