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Why do narcissists have so many relationships? · The Mental Healness Podcast

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  What is going on, beautiful people?
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  Today we're going to be answering the question, why do
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  narcissists have so many relationships?
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  Why are they? Why are they in and out of so
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  many Dang on relationships? If you're new here, my name is
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  Lee Hammock. I'm a clinically diagnosed
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  narcissist and welcome to another episode of The
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  Narcissist Code. So boom, welcome back, welcome
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  back, welcome back, folks. Yes, yes, yes.
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  This is the question I get a lot right here.
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  Y'all. Like what?
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  You know. You know, why are narcissists in
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  so many Dang on relationships? So let me go ahead and start off
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  by saying this before I get all the people who come out.
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  Come at me. This is not reflective of every
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  narcissist, right? Not every single narcissist is
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  going to be a serial dater. You know, dating crazy, right?
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  There are some narcissists that are in long term relationships,
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  you know, super long term, 2030405060 years even, you know.
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  But there is just, this is speaking to the ones that are in
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  a lot of relationships, right? Not every narcissist is in the
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  relationships, right guys? Right.
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  Right, right. Can we agree with that?
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  Can we agree with one thing? Yes, but that's how it goes like
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  there are a ton of narcissists and toxic people that are in and
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  out of a lot of relationships. And one of the main reasons why
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  is because they have this weird fear of missing out.
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  They have this weird fear of thinking that they will can find
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  better like they that there is someone out there that is
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  better, you know, for them. And a lot of people would just,
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  you know the phrase a lot of people will use is they think
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  there's always grass, greener grass on the other side of the
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  fence on the other side of the 10 foot.
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  You know, they think there's great greener grass on the other
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  side of the the the see through fence.
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  They can see. Yeah, they can see through the
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  fence. They can see that the grass from
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  from this yard go into the grass of the other yard.
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  They can see, they can absolutely see that there's a
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  lot of things going on in that situation right there.
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  Right. So they always think that
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  there's someone or something out there better for them than you
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  are, than their exes, you know, it really, it really can't all
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  boil boil down to that right there.
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  And like I said, this has a lot. Like when I start, when I start
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  saying this, y'all, yeah, when I, when I'm when I'm talking
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  about this, please don't take it offensive what I'm saying
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  because that's not the intent. I know the impact that might be
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  different, but the intent is just just kind of wake you up
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  and let you see that it's not you.
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  It has way less to do with you than you think it was going to
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  happen anyway, right? This is going to happen anyway.
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  Like they think that there is someone out there that fits them
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  better, someone out there that they can give them a, a, I'll
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  say this, a juicier, a juice, a juicier form of supply.
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  There's someone out there, they can fit them better, give them
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  more supply that fits them, like I said that that they can.
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  It gets them more validation, that adds more status to their
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  lives that that, you know, that might be somewhere in a in a
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  different city in a different type of dynamic.
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  There's always something that they feel like they can be doing
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  better and they feel like if I stay with you, if I stay in this
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  relationship, then I'm not going to reach my full potential, you
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  know? If I stay with you in this
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  relationship, I I want to try. You know, y'all can have the
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  same dreams initially, right? And yes, people do.
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  Do people do grow apart? So y'all can have the same
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  dreams initially, but yesterday they change their dreams up damn
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  near overnight. Y'all can go to sleep with the
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  same dream and then wake up a couple of days later, wake up a
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  couple of days later and they want to leave you because they
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  found somebody else that has a better dream than you.
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  Somebody else that might fit fit.
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  Where they going right now and this.
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  Yeah, and just being realistic. Y'all know when this happens a
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  lot when they're building their careers.
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  This happens so much when they're building their careers
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  or they're they, you know, hit the damn pretty much hit the
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  lottery or they're out there doing something like that.
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  They they they they come up overnight type of stuff.
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  They they feel like that you are no longer qualified for them.
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  They feel like their exes are no longer qualified for them.
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  They feel like, well, I'm in a different place in my life.
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  I feel like I need somebody new to fix me better.
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  You see this happen a lot of times.
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  It crazily, you know, not crazily.
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  But you see that this happened a lot of times in the professional
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  athlete forum. Like, well, they'll they'll have
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  somebody to have a high school sweetheart, not LeBron James,
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  but like they'll have a high school sweetheart.
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  They they grinding with them when they were nobody.
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  They had a ball head and crooked teeth.
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  But now that they're rich and famous, they leave their high
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  school sweetheart for somebody else.
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  It it just, it happens. I know things happen behind the
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  scenes, but as they grow, they feel like they need somebody
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  better. I need someone who fits me
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  better. I know you've been grinding with
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  me for a decade. I know we've been talking for
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  this long. I know we had a lot of this
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  stuff going on, but hey, I need to move on.
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  We we both, you know, life has changed.
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  We both have grown apart, blah blah blah Boo Boo Boo, BBBB.
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  There's so much in that space right there that happens that
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  you have to protect yourself from, you have to learn to
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  protect yourself from. Because if you're dealing with a
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  toxic, narcissistic person, this is what's going to keep
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  happening. They want someone new.
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  And like even if they find somebody new in in in their new
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  job or their new career or their new space, they'll leave that
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  person eventually. This person you know, you only
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  you only with me because I got money.
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  Boom. They want to find somebody.
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  They feel like it's authentic to them, even though they are not
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  authentic to yourself. Even though even though they
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  themselves are not being authentic, they want to find
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  somebody that's authentic to them.
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  You see it? Yeah, it is a wild mindset to
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  have like and like I said, another reason they can just
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  they had in so many relationships because so many
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  narcissists suffer from chronic boredom.
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  Like, I'm not saying that you are a boring person.
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  I'm just saying narcissist get bored very quickly.
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  It's sometimes when they get bored quickly, it doesn't mean
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  that they'll leave you, but they get bored quickly and they'll
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  blame the people around them. Like why the hell am I so bored
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  right now? This is not the life I ordered,
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  this is not the life I wanted. What do I do?
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  And they'll look at you and it's your fault.
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  They'll leave you for somebody else, and then they'll find the
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  next person and they'll leave the next person for somebody
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  else. And then sometimes they'll try
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  to come back to the old person. Like they'll come back like
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  maybe, maybe the old person has grown and is different now.
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  They'll go back to the old person because now it's fun to
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  go back and forth between people.
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  It's it can be fun for some narcissist to hurt people, you
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  know, Some of them are chronic serial daters because they can
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  never absolutely be happy with one person.
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  I've I've said this before, y'all.
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  But like one person will never be enough for a narcissist.
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  That's just the truth of the matter.
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  One person cannot be enough for a narcissist because like you,
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  they get cannot get enough supply from you.
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  Whatever supply that they have from you runs out or runs low or
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  it doesn't feel, it doesn't feel the same anymore.
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  It's not exhilarating anymore. They don't get as fulfilled off
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  of it like they used to, right? So now they're doing so much.
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  They have so much going on. But it's just like, OK, I did
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  this. Supply doesn't feel the same
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  anymore. Let me go somebody different.
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  Let me balance somebody different.
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  Let me go do this. Let me, let me do this.
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  Let me do that. There's so many moving pieces in
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  these situations that happen. There's so many, there's so many
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  things that happen in these relationship dynamics in these
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  spaces. They're like, they just want to
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  move on. They want to find somebody else.
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  They get bored, like the the, the, the supply has run out.
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  Like it has way less to do with you than you think.
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  Yo, you can do everything that they ask you to do.
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  You absolutely can. You can do every single thing
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  that they've asked of you. Hey, can you do this?
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  Can you do this? Can you change this about
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  yourself? Can you change that about
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  yourself? You can do all of that and they
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  will still leave you for somebody else that is not on
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  you. And I just tell you, you do
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  everything that you want to do. It's not you.
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  It's them. They just cannot be happy like
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  they their happiness runs out like the high another reason
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  they're in so many relationships because the high of the love
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  bombing phase, the high of the initial honeymoon phase has run
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  off. It's not a honeymoon anymore.
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  Like, you know, it's not a honeymoon phase anymore.
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  Like when a honeymoon phase ends they get bored and they log out.
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  They're like, well, that's that's this is over.
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  You know I was happy now but I don't you know, I I just in this
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  phase where I like doesn't feel the same anymore.
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  Something something that's changed between US and the thing
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  that's changed between Y'all is that the honeymoon phase is worn
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  off and now y'all are in an actual relationship now it can't
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  be 100% honeymoon. You know they wanted to be.
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  He may. They want, they want it to be,
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  but it can't always be 100% honeymoon.
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  Some narcissists love the chase and love the feeling of the love
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  bombing phase. They love to love.
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  They love to love bomb. You know, they love to love
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  bomb. They love to do that type of
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  stuff. They love it.
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  They absolutely take. They absolutely take Glee in the
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  love bombing phase. It's just it it feels them like,
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  oh I love, you know, it's a good feeling in this love bombing
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  phase and whatnot. But they love the feeling, the
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  feeling of their euphoric fate and euphoric feeling they get
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  from that not manipulating people sometimes they do, but
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  the euphoric feeling that they get when they are just the
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  honeymoon phase. So when that runs low, like they
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  run out and when that as that goes down, they run away.
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  And that's that's why I was just telling y'all when you when they
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  break up with you and you see them with somebody else, you are
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  watching the next honeymoon phase.
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  You're if you're watching this well you shouldn't be.
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  You are seeing the next love bombing phase.
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  You are seeing the next stage in the toxic relationship that the
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  first stage in the toxic relationship dynamic that
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  somebody else is experiencing. You are seeing that right now.
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  You are witnessing that right now this is what you are laying
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  your own eyes on right. So this I'm I'm telling people
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  in these situations that it falls onto you to decide what
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  you want to do next right. Even I say it don't.
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  Like, I know, I know it's easier said than done.
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  When the narcissist is doing his craziness.
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  Try not to take it personally. I know it's easier said than
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  none. I absolutely know.
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  I absolutely understand it. But I say it's not about you.
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  They might tell you it's about you.
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  You're born. You're you're lazy.
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  You're this, you're that you. They might tell you it's about
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  you. But when they just bouncing from
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  relationship to relationship from relationship, you know it's
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  not about you. It's them.
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  It's an internal. It's like a damn wire that's
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  loose within them and they just keep doing the same things over
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  and over and over again. Yeah, but I said even y'all.
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