Latest / Captivate the Mic: Master Public Speaking & Video, Build Confidence and Boost Visibility / Own the Room: How to Command Attention & Take Up Space!

Transcript

Own the Room: How to Command Attention & Take Up Space! · Captivate the Mic: Master Public Speaking & Video, Build Confidence and Boost Visibility

• 0:04
  Hi everybody.
• 0:05
  Welcome to Captivate the Mic with Elaine Williams here.
• 0:08
  This is going to be a solo episode all about owning the room, and what inspired me to make an episode about this was I just spoke for the Dames and the Dallas Happier Hour last week, and we were do, we've been doing a whole series on storytelling and last month.
• 0:28
  This amazing woman, Amanda Kaufman, talked about messaging and being more consistent, and I wanted to talk about using the many aspects of performance, partly that I work with my clients about and how you can really elevate your presence and really have a powerful impact, whether you're speaking in front of 10 people or 10,000.
• 0:52
  So this is the episode called owning the Room, taking up Space.
• 0:58
  So it's gonna be quick, it's gonna be fast and furious, but buckle in.
• 1:02
  It's gonna be a bumpy ride.
• 1:04
  I love that with Betty Davis.
• 1:06
  So how do we, I, how do we grab people, right?
• 1:08
  How do we grab them and hold them and keep'em engaged?
• 1:13
  We have all of these dang phones.
• 1:15
  Everybody's walking around on their phones, right?
• 1:18
  There's so many.
• 1:19
  Ways to have people be distracted one of the things I talk about, this is the biggest fear we all have, is that we are speaking to a group or in a meeting and somebody introduces us and nobody.
• 1:34
  Is looking like we are supposed to start speaking and the whole room is like talking to people on their phones, coming in late, panic sets in.
• 1:43
  How do you reclaim this space?
• 1:46
  This is a million dollar tip.
• 1:50
  Are you ready?
• 1:51
  So somebody introduces you and you can tell no, they're not ready.
• 1:55
  They're not focused.
• 1:57
  So you say, Hey, everybody, put your hands together.
• 2:00
  Let's give it up.
• 2:01
  Let's give a big round of applause for the producer Mary Smith.
• 2:08
  Come on.
• 2:08
  Let her hear it.
• 2:09
  Let her hear it.
• 2:10
  Alright, awesome.
• 2:11
  Thank you, Mary, for all the work that you did.
• 2:14
  And then if there's still pandemonium in the room, you can say, and let's give a big round of applause for yourselves for coming out on this long day or for staying engaged or whatever.
• 2:25
  Come on, give yourselves a round of applause.
• 2:27
  Yes.
• 2:28
  Now that does a bunch of different things, and if you'll notice comedians do this all the time.
• 2:33
  So what that does when you start clapping.
• 2:37
  And you have to commit.
• 2:38
  You have to keep clapping whether people join in or not.
• 2:42
  But what happens once you start clapping, and even if two people join in, other people are gonna be on their phones and they're gonna be like, oh, I, and they don't wanna look like jerks, so they're going to put their phones down and start clapping.
• 2:57
  The people who are strolling in late talking are gonna be like oh, I guess we're starting.
• 3:02
  And they will stop talking and they will hurry to their seat because they don't wanna look like jerks.
• 3:08
  And oftentimes they will start clapping even though they have no idea what is going on.
• 3:14
  So what that does is it pulls focus and basically you're announcing it's my turn.
• 3:21
  This is my turn and it's my focus, so give it to me now.
• 3:27
  Let's go.
• 3:28
  It's a very powerful way to do it with your body language, your commitment to the clapping, and it's just a way to get that focus going and then you can pause.
• 3:39
  And start with your hooking question and or your, and fabulous.
• 3:45
  How many people wanna learn how to underwater basket weave?
• 3:49
  Or did you know that the latest statistics and blah blah, blah is blah, blah, blah?
• 3:55
  I love to start with a hooking question or a big, bold statement, or a big, bold quote.
• 4:01
  Every once in a while, I'll start with a big story that just grabs them.
• 4:05
  But that is the best way to grab focus and be like, it is my turn.
• 4:11
  And you don't have to stand there waiting or shushing or, clap if you can hear me.
• 4:16
  That's an old teacher trick.
• 4:17
  So that's the first thing.
• 4:18
  The other thing is when you are speaking.
• 4:22
  I want you to stand up with me right now unless you're driving.
• 4:26
  I want you to put your feet hip width apart and I want you to imagine that there are vines going through your body, pulling down into the floor so that you are being pulled.
• 4:36
  You are grounded.
• 4:38
  So you are standing in a power position like this, like Amy Cuddy, and so if somebody walked up and tried to push you over, they could not do it because you are planted if you do yoga.
• 4:50
  Or you're a dancer.
• 4:51
  You know what I mean?
• 4:52
  But if you're not, it just means you are grounded.
• 4:55
  You're not standing on one hip or with your feet together so that you could easily, you see how you can easily, no.
• 5:03
  When you are planted, you were like, I am here.
• 5:07
  This is a way to take presence, to command your space, and in case you're speaking on Zoom.
• 5:19
  I want you sitting at the edge of your seat so you can, at any moment, you can stand up.
• 5:26
  None of this.
• 5:27
  This is like back, there's no power.
• 5:30
  I want you here or you here ready to go.
• 5:33
  This is engaged.
• 5:35
  This is planted.
• 5:36
  This is power.
• 5:37
  This is executive presence.
• 5:40
  Have you ever seen somebody on a.
• 5:43
  On a Zoom and they're just Hey, or they're, they just have a low vibe or a distracted vibe, or they're just me.
• 5:54
  And then have you seen other people that are like, okay, let's go.
• 5:59
  They're level headed.
• 6:00
  They're not bopping around, they have presence.
• 6:05
  There is a command of the space.
• 6:09
  That is what we want every time we are speaking, so that people are leaning in before we even open our mouths.
• 6:19
  That is called executive presence.
• 6:22
  That is called owning your space.
• 6:24
  That is called taking up space.
• 6:27
  And now a quick word.
• 6:30
  Are you an expert and you would love to be an expert on Podcasts as a guest, but you're not sure how to get started.
• 6:40
  Maybe you're a little nervous.
• 6:42
  Maybe you haven't done very many interviews.
• 6:45
  Maybe you've never even done media training.
• 6:48
  You're listening to my podcast and you know that I am a speaker and a speaker coach and a comedian, but I love to help people get comfortable and feel confident doing interviews because it's one of the best ways to grow your confidence.
• 7:02
  To grow your influence so if you wanna find out how to be a fabulous podcast guest, or even how to get started, let's set up a call.
• 7:13
  I know all the info will be in the show notes and I would love to just have a chat and see if it's the right fit and find out where you want to go with your speaking or podcast guesting and see if I can help.
• 7:25
  So now let's go back to the show I know that a lot of women have a hard time with this.
• 7:31
  Many of us were socialized to be cute and sweet and small and petite, and that is all great.
• 7:40
  In some roles, but if you are growing your business, if you're a founder, if you're committed to raising money for your cause, your nonprofit, whatever it is, you need to be ready to take up space.
• 7:55
  So that's another thing I want you planted, and I want your arms out and I want you to give yourself permission to take up space.
• 8:05
  There's a power in that I'm coming from my diaphragm.
• 8:09
  I'm not up here like many males oh, I hope you like me.
• 8:12
  Oh, nobody can listen to that.
• 8:15
  We like people who speak with authority.
• 8:18
  We like people who speak from their chest and their gut versus up here I'm part of that comes from being planted, doing your warmups.
• 8:28
  Giving yourself permission to take up space.
• 8:32
  When I taught this workshop last week for 70 plus women, I had everybody standing up and doing this with me, and then I put them in pairs and it was so fun to watch them go off and take up more space and pretend.
• 8:48
  To project and practice speaking in different ways because we want vocal variety.
• 8:56
  There's nothing worse than having somebody who's monotone or who talks in this nasal thing, and it's just always the same note, and then that's gonna put you to sleep.
• 9:07
  We do not want that.
• 9:08
  We never wanna be that kind of speaker.
• 9:12
  We wanna be dynamic, we wanna have movement, we wanna have crescendo and then pulling back, there are so many things we can do with these amazing instruments.
• 9:24
  Our faces are speakers, so is our chest cavity?
• 9:29
  Are you using your body?
• 9:31
  Are you using your tools to communicate or are you just standing there?
• 9:36
  Trying to not move too much, which is what happens if you go to too many Toastmaster meetings.
• 9:43
  It's great to an extent.
• 9:46
  One other thing I'm gonna give you, you want to do warmups?
• 9:50
  I know you don't like it.
• 9:53
  Nobody likes to warm up.
• 9:54
  But let me tell you, two minutes of warming up can make all the difference.
• 10:01
  We want the audience to be on the edge of their seat when they know, oh, she's speaking now.
• 10:07
  Oh, I can't wait.
• 10:09
  Nat King Cole had the most resonant, beautiful voice.
• 10:14
  We want to have a resonant voice with vocal variety.
• 10:20
  Most of us speak one note in a habit, sometimes with our throat, sometimes with our nose.
• 10:27
  It is not charismatic speaking.
• 10:30
  It's off putting.
• 10:33
  Two minutes of tongue twisters and a gentle breath.
• 10:39
  Ha.
• 10:41
  Oh.
• 10:44
  Simple.
• 10:45
  That's a slide and a ha.
• 10:49
  And simple tongue twisters.
• 10:51
  Like red leather, yellow leather, red leather, yellow leather, red leather, yellow leather.
• 11:00
  Toy boat.
• 11:01
  Toy boat.
• 11:03
  Toy boat.
• 11:04
  Toy boat.
• 11:05
  Toy boat, toy.
• 11:07
  Boat.
• 11:08
  Those are challenging, but the whole idea is that the warmups are so hard.
• 11:13
  By the time you get to your actual talk, it's gonna be cake.
• 11:17
  'cause you already did all the tongue twisters.
• 11:20
  Like she sells seashells down by the seashore.
• 11:25
  She sells seashells down by the seashore.
• 11:31
  And one of my favorites, the tip of the tongue, the roof of the mouth, the lips, the tongue, and the teeth.
• 11:38
  The tip of the tongue, the roof of the mouth, the lips, the tongue, and the teeth.
• 11:44
  And I invite you to play.
• 11:47
  You can pretend like you're Shakespeare and you're speaking to the back of the auditorium with the tip of the tongue.
• 11:54
  The roof of the mouth, the lips, the tongue, and the teeth.
• 12:00
  So those are super simple, basic warmups that you can do that will help you take up space.
• 12:09
  Command attention, help you be brave and confident, and be able to grab and hold the audience and take them with you wherever you want.
• 12:20
  To go.
• 12:22
  So I have a handout with the tongue twisters.
• 12:25
  I love helping people just like you work on your speaking so that you are a dynamic charismatic speaker.
• 12:33
  Scott Galloway, who is a brilliant professor, eight times author, very successful business owner.
• 12:41
  He wears many hats and he is on social media a lot, and he says, at the end of the day, I am a.
• 12:49
  Storyteller because facts, basic facts do not change somebody's mind or heart.
• 12:57
  But a well told story told in a compelling way will change someone's head or heart.
• 13:05
  And at the end of the day, we are all storytellers.
• 13:09
  So thank you so much for joining me.
• 13:12
  This was so much fun for me.
• 13:14
  I love, I could do this all day, every day.
• 13:16
  I love handling people, have fun with their speaking and lighten up and work on nuances because when you add play, when you're having more fun, your audience will have more fun.
• 13:29
  So follow me for more tips.
• 13:30
  Please share this with one entrepreneur who needs to work on their speaking, whether it's vocal, whether it's having more fun, adding humor, adding levels, body language.
• 13:42
  Please share this with them and please rate, review, and subscribe to Captivate the Mic because I want to keep sharing my expertise and my mastery because I've been doing this since the dawn of time.
• 13:57
  So thanks so much.
• 13:58
  I can't wait to meet you in person.
• 13:59
  I can't wait to hear how you have captivated your crowd.
• 14:05
  Bye for now.