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Ranking Every Movie Ever Made · Meet Your Double Feature | Movie Reviews & Forgotten Films

• 0:08
  Hello and welcome to Meet Your Double Feature.
• 0:10
  My name is Thomas, joined as always by my brother Frank.
• 0:13
  Frank, how are you? I usually say I'm excited, so
• 0:18
  I'm gonna say it again. I'm excited, yeah.
• 0:20
  He's gonna say it again. He's identified a pattern.
• 0:22
  He's sticking to it. Frank is excited.
• 0:25
  I'm also excited. And we have good reason because
• 0:27
  tonight, Frank, for the first time we're debuting like a
• 0:30
  supplementary series on our channel.
• 0:32
  This is not our usual meet your double feature style
• 0:35
  programming. We are calling this new series
• 0:37
  quote ranking Every movie ever made.
• 0:41
  Yep. Re mem, Re mem, remember, we do
• 0:46
  anyway. No, no, we should probably get a
• 0:51
  better one than that, essentially, just to set the
• 0:54
  stage for how this idea came about.
• 0:56
  Frank, I'm sure you're familiar with things like the American
• 0:59
  Film Institute's, like, top 100 movies of all time, right?
• 1:03
  Or like IMDb has the, like, top 250 narrative films.
• 1:07
  You've seen those lists. Yeah.
• 1:09
  Yeah, totally. So as we all know, the two
• 1:13
  things that all of those other lists have in common is that the
• 1:17
  people who wrote them are cowards, and they're woefully
• 1:19
  incomplete. That's what that's what everyone
• 1:22
  says about that. That's what everybody says.
• 1:24
  They say, sure, top 100 movies, Child's play.
• 1:27
  But what about every single movie of all time, ranked from
• 1:31
  best to worst definitively by two people who know who know
• 1:35
  better? Yes, forever and always.
• 1:37
  It will never change. Forever and always.
• 1:40
  It'll never change. Yeah.
• 1:41
  What's its? What's an as its place can never
• 1:44
  move. That's it.
• 1:46
  So that is essentially the idea for our show today.
• 1:48
  Normally we talk about movies that neither of us have seen
• 1:50
  previously. Today we're doing the exact
• 1:52
  opposite. We are going to be ranking every
• 1:54
  feature film ever released from top to bottom, best to worst, in
• 1:59
  completely random order. The way I've set this up, Frank,
• 2:02
  which I've explained to you off, Mike, but I think it's still a
• 2:04
  little bit unclear, is I took a list, 'cause you and I, we're in
• 2:08
  that group of people who will actually just write down the
• 2:10
  name of every movie that we watch.
• 2:12
  Which is super helpful for this because it means that we have a
• 2:14
  list going back over a decade of every movie that you and I have
• 2:18
  ever seen. So it doesn't include things we
• 2:20
  watched and we were younger than that.
• 2:21
  But I do have a list pulled up in front of me right now of just
• 2:24
  to start 1500 plus films that we can pull from in order to kick
• 2:30
  off our list of the best movies ever made or every movie ever
• 2:34
  made ranked from best to worst. Yeah, yeah.
• 2:37
  You know what? I actually, I, I was lying
• 2:39
  before about being excited. I wasn't then, but I am now.
• 2:47
  You know, when we started this, I thought, God, this is stupid.
• 2:49
  But now, Now. Now you know what?
• 2:52
  Now I'm into it. I like this idea.
• 2:54
  Now I'm into it. Now he's into it.
• 2:55
  OK, He's understanding the premise.
• 2:57
  This is good. Yeah.
• 2:58
  So the way it'll work is that I have the list pulled up in front
• 3:00
  of me. It is alphabetized and it has
• 3:03
  1600 plus entries on it. I will say there's a lot of
• 3:07
  random duplicates in there because Frank, if you or I saw
• 3:11
  the same movie, but like wrote down the title in a slightly
• 3:13
  different way, I don't think it removed those from the list when
• 3:16
  I was trimming it down. But in general, we have almost
• 3:19
  1500 to start with. And what I'm going to do is I'm
• 3:21
  going to have Frank give me a random number.
• 3:23
  It's going to use a random number generator.
• 3:25
  And then whatever number he lands on, we'll go to that point
• 3:27
  on the list. And for this first pick, because
• 3:31
  it's the only one, we're going to be temporarily deciding the
• 3:34
  best film of all time. Wow.
• 3:36
  It's happening right as we speak.
• 3:38
  You know, let's put it in #2 let's just put it in #2 to start
• 3:40
  off. Just put it in #2 well, what if
• 3:43
  it is? What if it actually pulls the
• 3:44
  best movie of all time? That's well, we don't know.
• 3:46
  Yeah, that's true. That's true.
• 3:48
  So here's again. We're ranking every movie ever
• 3:51
  made, not just the top 100, not even just the top 1000.
• 3:55
  All of them, yeah. If you've seen a movie ever,
• 3:58
  it's going on this list. Exactly, And we're going to get
• 4:01
  through it. No one's ever completed this
• 4:03
  task before. I think others have tried, but
• 4:06
  we're going to get through it by going about an hour at a time
• 4:09
  every once in a while. But sometimes when we.
• 4:13
  Feel like sometimes when we have time to do so.
• 4:16
  You're welcome. You're welcome.
• 4:21
  Somebody had to do it. Somebody had to do it.
• 4:23
  It's going to be us. So what I'm going to do is I'm
• 4:25
  going to put 60 minutes on the clock starting now for us to
• 4:29
  rank our first batch of movies. And we'll see how many we end up
• 4:32
  with at the end of that first hour.
• 4:34
  And if it feels like we've covered enough for an episode,
• 4:35
  we'll cut it there. This is sort of a experiment for
• 4:38
  us. We're going to see how it goes.
• 4:40
  But Frank, right now, why don't you do a random number, Jen, for
• 4:43
  me and let me know which movie we're starting with?
• 4:46
  OK, hit me with that random number generator beat.
• 4:50
  But do bop boop. That was terrible.
• 4:52
  Let's just, let's just. Maybe I should have just like
• 4:58
  left room to put music in jeopardy or going to fix.
• 5:02
  That and I went but you. I went full.
• 5:04
  Musical improv, full scat man on us.
• 5:07
  OK, first first number. Here we go.
• 5:10
  First one. It is 614. 614 All right, I'm
• 5:16
  going to pull up the list and see what is currently labeled
• 5:18
  the number 614. All right #614 temporarily the
• 5:25
  best movie of all time, by virtue of the fact that it's the
• 5:27
  only one on the list, is 2007's Hot Fuzz.
• 5:31
  Hot Fuzz, which is the middle of a trilogy of movies made by,
• 5:42
  what is it? Simon Pegg and Nick Frost,
• 5:44
  right. The comedy movies that started
• 5:47
  with Shaun of the Dead. What were you going to say?
• 5:51
  I was just. I think it's it's the Cornetto
• 5:53
  trilogy is what it's commonly referred to.
• 5:56
  Oh yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, that's right.
• 5:57
  So it's a it's a series of three comedy films that don't have any
• 6:01
  overlap in characters or premise, but they have a lot of
• 6:04
  the same actors in them and have like a general tone that's
• 6:06
  always the same. As I recall, Hot Fuzz is like a
• 6:10
  satire of 90s like police action movies.
• 6:14
  Like there's a lot of send UPS in it to stuff like Point Break
• 6:18
  and just a ton of other like police procedural action films.
• 6:21
  So very odd choice to be labeled as the best movie of all time.
• 6:25
  But right now it is by virtue of our premise, it is.
• 6:30
  Until we tell you otherwise, that's the best movie ever.
• 6:34
  You know what though? I'm sure that movie, like people
• 6:37
  do love that movie. I'm I'm sure it's in a lot of
• 6:38
  people's like top ten at least. A lot of people love Hot Fuzz.
• 6:42
  Yeah, When I was picturing how this would go, I thought we
• 6:44
  would either get like Jurassic Park, like something really
• 6:47
  broad, or just like a super obscure movie that one of us had
• 6:50
  to watch for like a film school class or something.
• 6:53
  Something about Hot Fuzz is like breaking my brain.
• 6:55
  I'm like how is this the one? Yeah.
• 7:00
  And so and we don't know whose list that was pulled from,
• 7:03
  right. This is just a a combination of
• 7:06
  us. OK.
• 7:07
  I put both of ours together. So you and I, to elaborate on
• 7:10
  that a little bit, I think it was like 2014.
• 7:14
  We just were like, well, wouldn't it be cool if we wrote
• 7:15
  down a list of like everything that we watched?
• 7:18
  And so we've both been doing that for the past like 12 years
• 7:21
  or so. And so I took all of that, put
• 7:24
  all of it into one Excel spreadsheet, and then just
• 7:26
  removed as many duplicate entries as I could.
• 7:29
  And now this is like a combined list.
• 7:31
  So there's things in here that only one of us would have
• 7:33
  already seen. OK.
• 7:35
  Yeah, that's so. We're going to have to rely on
• 7:37
  each other's expertise, although in this case we have both seen
• 7:40
  Hot Fuzz, so that's a good start.
• 7:42
  Yes, that is, that is wow, best movie, Yeah.
• 7:46
  There's nothing to deliberate here because there's nothing
• 7:48
  else on the list yet. So Hot Fuzz uncontested.
• 7:50
  Best film of all time. All right, Should we just stop
• 7:53
  here? We figured it out, everyone.
• 7:54
  Should we just? That's the end of the series.
• 7:56
  It was all a yeah, it was all a ruse.
• 7:59
  Go watch Hot Fuzz. Thank you.
• 8:01
  Go watch Hot Fuzz, we'll see you next time.
• 8:03
  No, so that's the simplest entry.
• 8:06
  As soon as we have a second one, then it becomes a deliberation.
• 8:08
  So I will say I think we both like Hot Fuzz.
• 8:11
  I think it is a fun action comedy that even like you said
• 8:15
  in a larger list would probably still rank pretty highly.
• 8:18
  But I think what we should do now is spin the wheel again.
• 8:22
  Spin the wheel, It's not a wheel.
• 8:23
  Spin the number generator again and then see what else pops up
• 8:26
  to contest Hot Fuzz. All right, play me that spin
• 8:29
  that wheel music. Play the spin the wheel music,
• 8:32
  the doop bop boop bop daboop. Yep, 77. 7777 OK locating OK
• 8:52
  number 77 on the not on the list, but number 77 in my
• 8:55
  database is 1987's Angel Heart, which I think is a movie Frank
• 9:02
  you have not seen. I was going to say tell me more.
• 9:05
  I don't know what that is. So this is already actually kind
• 9:08
  of a hard decision to make because Angel Heart's a really
• 9:10
  good film. It is a Mickey Rourke movie from
• 9:13
  back when Mickey Rourke was like a heartthrob guy.
• 9:17
  You know, I don't think he held on to that for long, but this
• 9:19
  was kind of in his like, original career peak in the 80s.
• 9:22
  It is a story, I believe adapted from a book that is like a noir
• 9:28
  horror film kind of about Mickey Rourke as like a private
• 9:32
  investigator. It's got a very messed up plot,
• 9:36
  but in like an interesting way. It gets into some really dark
• 9:38
  places. I'm hesitant to even get too far
• 9:41
  into it because I think it could spoil the movie.
• 9:43
  But it's a really, really good mystery film.
• 9:46
  Like genuinely interesting. Really like thick atmosphere and
• 9:51
  a really good but brief appearance from Robert De Niro
• 9:54
  which I was not expecting when I turned on the movie.
• 9:56
  Oh wow, that was a really good succinct pitch for that movie.
• 10:00
  Actually, you know what, number one, it's above Hot Fuzz.
• 10:07
  Sounds pretty good. Like I would say, even though
• 10:13
  you haven't seen it, I think you would like this more than Hot
• 10:16
  Fuzz because it's, I don't know, they're so hard to compare.
• 10:20
  They're such different films. But I think that in its own
• 10:22
  niche, Angel Heart is like kind of uncontested.
• 10:25
  It's like one of my favorite movies of this type that I've
• 10:27
  seen. Hot Fuzz is good, but all I
• 10:29
  think of when I think of that movie is like, well, I prefer
• 10:31
  Shawn of the Dead. Same, I even I even prefer the
• 10:35
  third one in that trilogy. I think it's there's so many
• 10:38
  similar titles. It's like at World's End.
• 10:41
  Now that might be a Pirates of the Caribbean.
• 10:43
  I think it's just called World's End.
• 10:44
  World's End. Something like that.
• 10:45
  I I prefer both of those. Like of the three, Hot Fuzz is
• 10:49
  my least favorite. Hot Fuzz is kind of long and I
• 10:52
  think a lot of people really like it.
• 10:53
  It saves a lot of its build up for the third act and then kind
• 10:55
  of explodes into this like giant action set piece and it's like
• 10:58
  again, both really good movies. Would recommend them to anybody.
• 11:02
  But Angel heart. I think even you would prefer,
• 11:05
  even though I know you haven't yet seen it.
• 11:06
  So Hot Fuzz, get off that pedestal.
• 11:09
  Your time in the sun is over. You're.
• 11:12
  At the bottom of the list now, buddy, how far you have fallen.
• 11:16
  Worst movie. Of all time.
• 11:18
  Oh this is so stupid. No, this is what's so
• 11:24
  interesting about this show the the stakes can change, just on a
• 11:27
  dime. I mean, how often is it that you
• 11:29
  go from being the best movie of all time to the worst that
• 11:33
  quickly? Yeah.
• 11:34
  The industry's passed. Hot Fuzz.
• 11:35
  Yeah, it didn't. Do anything wrong?
• 11:37
  It didn't change. It's not 2007 anymore.
• 11:41
  Yeah, really. That's the problem is that Hot
• 11:43
  Fuzz did not keep up with the times.
• 11:45
  It's like the movie finished and then they just never went back
• 11:47
  to it. Yeah, they just never made it a
• 11:49
  different movie after that. So yeah.
• 11:51
  It's like they didn't even consider putting 80s heartthrob
• 11:54
  Mickey Rourke in the movie. Did they see Iron Man 2?
• 11:57
  I mean, come on. You know the bit where he's got
• 12:02
  the whips and he's whipping on the racetrack, we remember.
• 12:06
  That's that's probably on here. Let's see, let's what if?
• 12:09
  What if I hit this and we land on Iron Man 2 next?
• 12:12
  What are what are the odds of that?
• 12:13
  That would be crazy. I'll say right now, if Iron Man
• 12:16
  2 comes up right after this, it's going to number one just
• 12:18
  because of the whips on the racetrack.
• 12:20
  Just because of the whips on the racetrack, that's.
• 12:22
  And we all remember that scene from the trailer.
• 12:24
  It's the only part of Iron Man 2 you remember.
• 12:29
  Anyway, that's our first two entries.
• 12:30
  I think we do need to spin that wheel which is not a wheel.
• 12:34
  Spin that wheel. Yeah, spin that list #20. #20 we
• 12:41
  are sticking near the top. I think it's going to be a movie
• 12:43
  that starts with an A if I had to guess.
• 12:46
  Come on down. Come on down.
• 12:48
  Oh, actually we're we're above a we're into movies that start
• 12:51
  with numbers. So entry #20 is 1980 twos 48
• 12:56
  hours. Oh boy.
• 12:58
  Which is. You haven't seen this either,
• 13:00
  have you? I don't think so.
• 13:02
  OK, guess it's up to me then. 48 Hours is a buddy cop movie with
• 13:10
  Nick Nolte and Eddie Murphy. It was, I think, the movie that
• 13:15
  launched Eddie Murphy's film career.
• 13:18
  He'd already been on SNL and he was doing stand up, but I want
• 13:20
  to say 48 Hours was like his film breakout that led to his
• 13:24
  run of really successful comedies in that decade.
• 13:27
  I'll say I watched this as part of a Nick Nolte thon.
• 13:31
  I think I'm the only person to ever do a Nick Nolte thon, but
• 13:33
  this was in there. I don't recall thinking it was
• 13:36
  very good from like a modern eye.
• 13:39
  You know what I mean? Like it clearly had influence at
• 13:41
  the time, but like going back to 48 hours now, it doesn't really
• 13:45
  hit very strongly. OK, yeah, no, I'm I'm
• 13:48
  remembering you that you did a Nick Nolte marathon and and that
• 13:51
  was that was certainly a choice, but.
• 13:54
  It was usually the Nick Nolte thought started because Nick
• 13:58
  Nolte is an actor whose name you've probably heard.
• 14:00
  I'm guessing if you're listening right now you can't even recall
• 14:02
  his face because despite being in popular American films for
• 14:07
  the past like 40 years, none of them are good.
• 14:10
  Like he's like the most talented actor to Neverland in a good
• 14:14
  movie. Yeah.
• 14:16
  OK, worst agent award goes to Knick.
• 14:18
  Naughty. Career worst agent, Yeah.
• 14:24
  Yeah. So 48 hours, like it's not bad.
• 14:28
  I think it's interesting to go back and see, like it's really
• 14:32
  interesting if you watch the sequel.
• 14:33
  So they made 48 Hours in the early 80s when Eddie Murphy was
• 14:36
  like an unknown as a film actor. It did really, really well.
• 14:39
  And then like 10 years later, they made a movie called Another
• 14:43
  48 Hours that was a direct sequel.
• 14:45
  And in between, Eddie Murphy became such a big star that
• 14:48
  like, he feels like a different person when he shows up in the.
• 14:50
  Sequel. Oh, yeah, I mean, Eddie Murphy,
• 14:53
  like, exploded during that time. He was like one of the biggest
• 14:57
  stars in the world at that time. Yeah, and another 48 hours,
• 15:00
  like, spends its entire runtime glazing.
• 15:02
  Eddie Murphy is like the coolest guy ever, even though the first
• 15:05
  movie is just riddled with racist jokes at its expense.
• 15:11
  The entire buddy cop formula is that Nick Nolte is an old racist
• 15:15
  cop. And then he learns to, like,
• 15:17
  trust Eddie Murphy, who's like, a criminal that he lets out of
• 15:20
  jail to help him investigate a case.
• 15:22
  So it's got a bit of that uncomfortable humor quality to
• 15:25
  it. It's not even as good as Hot
• 15:28
  Fuzz, which is another kind of movie in that same vein,
• 15:31
  although it's like a satire. So I would say 48 hours firmly
• 15:35
  #3. Oh, oh, yeah.
• 15:37
  OK, Solid, solid choice. Hot Fuzz, by the way, has now
• 15:42
  become the most middle movie ever.
• 15:45
  What, what a journey it's going on.
• 15:48
  I feel like as we've reevaluated Hot Fuzz every two to three
• 15:50
  minutes, we've really found that it lands in a different part of
• 15:55
  the of the, like, you know, the ranking.
• 15:58
  Yeah, it's funny. It's just such a funny 1 to come
• 16:00
  up first because I know, like I said, I know there's people out
• 16:03
  there that like, that's probably their favorite movie.
• 16:05
  There's people that really love Hot Fuzz and we're just like
• 16:08
  bouncing it around. Like, yeah, no respect being
• 16:11
  given to Hot Fuzz. We're just like you, move out of
• 16:13
  the way. Exactly.
• 16:17
  Step aside for Mickey Rourke, right?
• 16:19
  He's on top of the. Side for Mickey Rourke,
• 16:21
  something that also has not been said since 1980.
• 16:25
  OK, that's three movies down. This is moving quicker than I
• 16:30
  expected. We're going to get this list
• 16:31
  done in no time. Yeah, exactly.
• 16:33
  There's only a lot. Let's just see where it goes
• 16:35
  next. All right, let's let's spin that
• 16:40
  list. Spin that.
• 16:41
  Yeah. All right, We'll we'll figure it
• 16:42
  out. We'll, we'll.
• 16:44
  Figure it out. We'll get some.
• 16:45
  We'll get some clear language about this at some point.
• 16:48
  All right, spin that list. It is OK.
• 16:51
  We're going all the way down to 12168. 1268 OK, give me a
• 16:58
  minute. So this this is alphabetical.
• 17:01
  It is alphabetical, Yeah, got it.
• 17:03
  But it's not. As we're just about to find out,
• 17:06
  it does not alphabetize out the, So anything that starts with the
• 17:09
  is here in the T range. OK, cool.
• 17:12
  That's that's fine. Did you say 1268?
• 17:16
  I did 12681268. 1268 is my Social Security number.
• 17:21
  No it is. It's a short 1.
• 17:24
  I don't know why they. Just feel like that, that's all
• 17:26
  we got, that's all we got left. We ran out of numbers so.
• 17:29
  I've got one of the early ones. They were like you, just a
• 17:32
  couple. Anyway, 1268 on this database is
• 17:35
  2015's The Big Short. Have you seen The Big Short?
• 17:40
  Have I seen any movies on this list other than?
• 17:42
  Have you ever seen the? Film.
• 17:45
  Before. This is ridiculous.
• 17:48
  OK The Big Short is an Adam McKay film I believe, which is
• 17:53
  essentially like it's like an edutainment film.
• 17:58
  It has a big cast of a list actors trying to re enact the
• 18:02
  events of the 2008 housing market crash in the United
• 18:06
  States, but it casts these actors as real people who were
• 18:10
  involved in the story but inner cuts between actual traditional
• 18:15
  film scenes of dialogue and then just has characters talking to
• 18:18
  the camera a lot. It essentially is trying to
• 18:21
  entertain you while genuinely explaining the series of events
• 18:25
  and like widespread corruption and failure of these public
• 18:29
  offices that led to the OA crash.
• 18:31
  So it's like not even a traditional narrative film, but
• 18:35
  it's not a documentary because it is still fictionalized.
• 18:40
  Yeah, yeah, I, I mean, I'm, I am, I'm very familiar with it.
• 18:43
  I just haven't, haven't seen it myself.
• 18:45
  This has just become a game though, where it's just like, do
• 18:47
  you remember movies you've seen? Yeah, it's just me.
• 18:51
  I would really love the support but Frank's like I just watch
• 18:53
  hot fuds every day. Every time I keep watching I
• 18:56
  just can't decide if I like it or not so.
• 19:00
  My life's work is to constantly watch and re evaluate the movie
• 19:03
  Hot Fuds. OK, So what do you think?
• 19:08
  What do I think about Hot? No, not Hot Fuzz the Big Short.
• 19:13
  I think I saw this movie when it was new.
• 19:14
  I probably saw it in 2015 so my memory of it is a little bit
• 19:17
  loose. As I recall.
• 19:20
  It is entertaining and does an OK job at explaining its
• 19:25
  premise. I seem to recall because I was
• 19:27
  probably like early 20s when this movie came out and I
• 19:30
  definitely had that inflated sense of like, I know what
• 19:32
  happens now. You know, like you get this like
• 19:36
  popcorn summary and you're like, I think I can explain the
• 19:39
  housing market. Oh, go ahead, let's hear it.
• 19:42
  How do you feel about the housing market crash of a ways
• 19:45
  so. OK, this will be the test.
• 19:47
  If the movie did a good enough job, I should be able to tell
• 19:49
  you how the market crashed. So there was a subprime loan
• 19:54
  bubble because does that make sense?
• 20:00
  Yeah, yeah, of course, obviously.
• 20:01
  OK, he's getting it. He hasn't seen the film.
• 20:03
  If Steve Carell explained it, you would totally get it.
• 20:05
  Yeah. So people bought and sold these.
• 20:11
  That is my understanding. Check my work.
• 20:17
  I was trying to think of a punch line at the end but I got
• 20:20
  distracted listening. Do you explain that the housing
• 20:22
  market crash? Well, I mean, that's pretty
• 20:26
  good. I mean, I don't think it's
• 20:27
  correct, but it feels right. Yeah, I know.
• 20:30
  From what I understand, that sounds, that sounds Steve Carell
• 20:33
  and whoever else, Margot Robbie, I think, in a bathtub.
• 20:36
  They did do Margot Robbie in a bathtub to try to like make fun
• 20:39
  of the viewer for not having a good attention span.
• 20:41
  But you know what? I paid attention.
• 20:43
  I remember the bathtub. So all of that said, The Big
• 20:49
  Short is a pretty good movie, and I would say it has a like a
• 20:53
  noble aim in trying to actually, like, educate the public about a
• 20:58
  massive corruption scandal that cost a bunch of people their
• 21:02
  jobs in their homes. So it's like a commendable
• 21:05
  effort in that respect. I would put it above 48 hours,
• 21:09
  but I think it falls below the Hot Fuzz boundary.
• 21:14
  I I think you're right, I think, I think the Big Short, having
• 21:18
  not seen it, fell into a weird place where it was like, like
• 21:23
  you said, it wasn't a documentary.
• 21:24
  It wasn't like explicitly A narrative film, even though it
• 21:28
  was like commendable as it may be, was an interesting piece of
• 21:34
  of media and filmmaking, but. But it's like not a movie.
• 21:39
  It's like a piece of media, but it's not really a movie.
• 21:43
  And if the list is best movies ever made, I feel like for me
• 21:48
  the best movies ever made are ones that use the language of
• 21:52
  filmmaking to tell you a like a compelling story and make you
• 21:57
  feel something or learn something.
• 21:58
  And Big Short felt like it was ultimately taking a big
• 22:01
  shortcut, just explaining everything to you as opposed to
• 22:06
  trying to make you understand it through dialogue.
• 22:08
  Yeah, totally, totally. That's so.
• 22:12
  How bad must 48 hours feel to be ranked below not even a movie on
• 22:17
  this greatest movie's all time list?
• 22:20
  I think Big Short gets by because it does have that sort
• 22:22
  of like, just watchable quality to it.
• 22:25
  Like 48 hours is kind of harsh to look back on now.
• 22:27
  Like, you can see what they're going for, but it's kind of just
• 22:31
  like a sad watch and compared to a lot of the buddy comedies that
• 22:33
  came later. Whereas like Big Short, you
• 22:36
  could still watch now and be like, oh, OK, like this is like
• 22:39
  a movie to watch on a plane, you know?
• 22:40
  Yes, totally, totally. So it's #3 currently #3.
• 22:46
  Hot Fuzz is now in the top 50% again.
• 22:50
  It got above the midline. OP fuzz is our anchor.
• 22:53
  Being like anchor, it just doesn't make sense without OP
• 23:00
  fuzz. That's funny.
• 23:03
  All right, so that's, you know, in real time, about 22 minutes
• 23:07
  into an hour. We've got 4 movies on the list.
• 23:09
  We are zooming. I like this.
• 23:11
  Oh yeah, totally. So if you could now pick a movie
• 23:14
  that you have seen perhaps. All right, let me spin that.
• 23:18
  Flip that. Bop that list.
• 23:21
  Bop that list and we are going to 597.
• 23:28
  OK, entry 597 in the database is 1986 Highlander.
• 23:36
  Please tell me you've seen Highlander.
• 23:38
  Listen, I would love to tell you that I've seen the the film
• 23:44
  Highlander. That's ridiculous.
• 23:46
  But I don't think that I have this movie.
• 23:50
  You. Like, no way.
• 23:54
  Look, it's the, it's a. It's a statistical unlikelihood,
• 23:58
  but apparently we're proving that wrong.
• 24:01
  So this is. Ridiculous.
• 24:02
  This is ridiculous. OK, OK, Highlander is awesome,
• 24:08
  all right. Highlander's great.
• 24:09
  It's soaring past the Hot Fuzz line for me, which I guess it's
• 24:13
  all that matters because you haven't seen it.
• 24:15
  But I also think you would agree with this because Highlander is
• 24:19
  peak 80s action fantasy camping nonsense.
• 24:23
  It stars Christopher Lambert or Lambert, I'm not sure how you
• 24:26
  pronounce it, as an immortal Scottish Highlands warrior who
• 24:32
  gets essentially cursed to be a Highlander through some unknown
• 24:35
  means and has to live forever. Essentially changing his
• 24:39
  identity every now and again as he moves through history.
• 24:42
  Until we catch up with him in the present, which is the 1980s.
• 24:46
  Where he finds that among the other remaining immortal
• 24:49
  Highlanders, there is essentially this instinctual
• 24:52
  calling that they all have, where they know that they must
• 24:55
  fight to the death until there's only one immortal man remaining.
• 24:59
  That's like the pitch. So it's essentially the
• 25:02
  conclusion of a conflict that began like way further back in
• 25:05
  history. So you have all these people
• 25:07
  from different eras converging in the 80s in New York City to
• 25:11
  fight to the death, mostly with swords.
• 25:14
  Hell yeah, that sounds great. I.
• 25:17
  Like that, it's really, really stylish.
• 25:19
  It also has a soundtrack by Queen like original music
• 25:24
  written for the movie by Queen that is really really good.
• 25:27
  Well, is this the one where the tagline is there can only be 1?
• 25:30
  Is that Highlander? That's exactly right.
• 25:31
  Yep, there can only be 1. So there's like however many
• 25:34
  Highlanders. And the gimmick, as they explain
• 25:37
  it, is that another Highlander can kill one by I think they
• 25:42
  have to be decapitated. That's like the only way.
• 25:45
  So there's a lot of chopping off heads with swords.
• 25:47
  And so some of these Highlanders are friends.
• 25:49
  Our main guy, Lambert, is like a nice dude just trying to get by.
• 25:52
  But then there's also evil Highlanders who are trying to,
• 25:56
  like, steal the power of the ones that they defeat.
• 25:59
  OK. Yeah, yeah.
• 26:01
  But it's so fun to watch. It has also Sean Connery in it,
• 26:05
  giving a great performance as a guy who I swear says he's from
• 26:08
  Spain but talks like Sean Connery, which is just nuts.
• 26:13
  He's like the old master figure who essentially teaches your
• 26:17
  main character about all this lore about being a Highlander,
• 26:20
  but then he ultimately gets killed by the bad guy earlier in
• 26:22
  the story. And then when we catch up in the
• 26:24
  80s, we we see the conclusion of that conflict.
• 26:27
  It's a really, really interesting movie that I think
• 26:29
  at the time was maybe written off as like just kind of like a
• 26:33
  loose, campy mess. But it has such a strong vibe to
• 26:36
  it the whole time and like, fun performances, really
• 26:40
  interesting, like gritty New York City imagery throughout the
• 26:45
  whole thing. I mean, the story begins in the
• 26:48
  present with him watching a wrestling match.
• 26:52
  Like he's watching the Fabulous Free Birds have like a six man
• 26:54
  tag team bout at like Madison Square Garden.
• 26:57
  And then he leaves and gets attacked by a Highlander in the
• 27:00
  parking lot. And then they have like a sword
• 27:02
  fight in a parking lot and it's really cool.
• 27:05
  I I would be sold on any film that starts like that.
• 27:07
  That's amazing. Highlander's awesome.
• 27:11
  Like, it is so dumb in such an endearing way, but it doesn't
• 27:16
  contradict itself. And it's like internally
• 27:18
  consistent about its lore and actually has a couple of fairly
• 27:21
  moving emotional elements to it. Like, you're cutting back and
• 27:26
  forth throughout the film from the main characters past in the
• 27:30
  Scottish Highlands in like, the 1500s to the present day in New
• 27:34
  York City. And one of the problematic
• 27:36
  elements for him is that he has a wife in the 1500s who Sean
• 27:41
  Connery's always telling him, like, you can't form
• 27:43
  relationships with people because you're going to outlive
• 27:45
  them. And it's just too much pain.
• 27:47
  Like, you can't stay anywhere for too long.
• 27:50
  You can't make connections. And then ultimately he agrees.
• 27:55
  Like, he decides to stay with his wife anyway.
• 27:57
  He decides to live through that pain.
• 27:59
  And so you have this scene where, like, they're the same
• 28:02
  age when they meet, but then she dies of old age while he still
• 28:05
  just looks the same. And it's this very, like, sad
• 28:07
  scene. And there's this fantastic Queen
• 28:09
  music playing that people would recognize because it was in the
• 28:12
  trailer for the last season of Stranger Things that's
• 28:16
  modernized it. All right.
• 28:18
  A little cultural landmark there, OK?
• 28:20
  Yeah, So it's a song called, I think the full title is Who
• 28:24
  Wants to Live Forever. It's like a really fun love
• 28:28
  ballad essentially sung by What I need to Stress is like late
• 28:31
  stage Queen. This is not like, oh, it's
• 28:33
  before they were a big deal. This is like peak era post
• 28:36
  Bohemian Rhapsody. Queen just doing songs for this
• 28:39
  movie for no understandable reason.
• 28:41
  Well, that used to be a thing and it's a thing I, I miss and
• 28:44
  wish was done more often. Cause a lot of modern films
• 28:46
  will, when they put in pop songs, it'll just be like pop
• 28:51
  songs you've heard from previous eras.
• 28:52
  You know, it's like, Oh, this is a cool song.
• 28:53
  Like Stranger Things is a perfect example.
• 28:55
  They're like, oh, we're just going to kind of cherry pick
• 28:57
  these songs from the 80s or whatever.
• 28:59
  But there used to be like movies like this where big music
• 29:05
  performers would like, write original songs for films.
• 29:09
  And like so many film, like so many of those songs became
• 29:12
  iconic along with the films, you know, like, that's just not a
• 29:17
  thing anyway. I can't remember the last time
• 29:18
  that that's been done. And I feel like, I don't know
• 29:22
  why, because I feel like it's a win win.
• 29:24
  If you get a popular film, you get this popular song and like
• 29:27
  and and the songs were actually written to fit the story of the
• 29:31
  film too, and not just kind of like forced onto whatever was
• 29:34
  happening. Well, that's a whole element.
• 29:36
  I think they often sometimes will call those like needle
• 29:39
  drops in films and TV where it's just like, oh, this is a
• 29:42
  recognizable piece of music that you already have, that you
• 29:46
  already have like an emotional connection to.
• 29:47
  And we're trying to like hijack that feeling and just apply it
• 29:51
  to something else. Whereas if it's written for the
• 29:53
  movie, maybe you hear the song before you see the film, but it
• 29:56
  is still written to reflect the exact like feelings they're
• 29:59
  trying to evoke from the story you're watching on screen.
• 30:02
  Yeah, the same way that the score usually does that, like
• 30:04
  the score of a film is written for that film.
• 30:07
  And it's meant to, like you said, like accentuate and
• 30:10
  punctuate certain like, emotional beats.
• 30:12
  And as I recall for Highlander, Queen was contracted to write
• 30:17
  like one or two pieces of music, but they saw early prints of the
• 30:21
  film and were inspired to write more.
• 30:22
  So like I think even that Who Wants to Live Forever song was
• 30:25
  written by not Freddie Mercury but one of the band members of
• 30:28
  Queen. After seeing like a work print
• 30:31
  of the movie, they were just like inspired to make more music
• 30:34
  for it. Yeah, see, that's awesome.
• 30:36
  I just wish there was, there was more of that.
• 30:39
  I, I don't know why that trend stopped really.
• 30:42
  I'm I'm sure it's like a cost cutting thing from like studio
• 30:46
  productions, but we're really missing out on on those like new
• 30:51
  songs that could be associated with great movies too.
• 30:55
  I think maybe part of it was the market at the time for exposing
• 30:59
  an audience to new music. Like if you think about this in
• 31:01
  a pre Internet pre streaming age where going to a movie was a
• 31:05
  more common thing in the 1st place, like going to theaters.
• 31:08
  And then if you could like pair that with music and then maybe
• 31:12
  have like ACD that comes out alongside the film.
• 31:14
  It was just like a way to cross promote.
• 31:16
  Whereas now if you finish a piece of music, you're like
• 31:18
  release it. Like you just want to have full
• 31:20
  control over the marketing and the release schedule for all
• 31:23
  that. I don't know if that's actually
• 31:25
  part of it, but I could see it being a factor.
• 31:27
  No, that's a good point. I mean, but I also feel like
• 31:29
  from a marketing perspective, it would be a good way to market a
• 31:32
  film be like, you know, it's like oh score or, you know,
• 31:35
  musical performances. However you want to market it
• 31:38
  like original soundtrack by Lady Gaga or whoever, you know, for
• 31:43
  this, this new movie, like that's a good way to get
• 31:46
  audiences into a movie they might not have otherwise seen,
• 31:49
  you know, if they if they're familiar with like the musical
• 31:52
  performer. Yeah, well, best I can give you
• 31:55
  is a slow piano cover of an 80's rock song awkwardly slapped on
• 32:00
  top of a teaser trailer. Yeah, it's all just
• 32:02
  regurgitated. It's it's all just the same
• 32:05
  stuff over and over again, I think.
• 32:08
  I think Stranger Things has used every 80s song that exists at
• 32:11
  this point so they got to pick a different decade.
• 32:13
  Yeah, Stranger Things went from being like sort of a fun send up
• 32:17
  to like a parasitic, like recursation of 80s, eighties
• 32:22
  media, which of course is going to happen when you have to make
• 32:24
  the show run for that long, when it's a one idea that goes start
• 32:28
  to finish. And then they're like, hey, what
• 32:29
  if we play a couple of things, like what if the kids dress as
• 32:32
  the Ghostbusters? It's like, that's funny.
• 32:34
  But when you're like 10 years in, it's like, oh gosh, we've
• 32:37
  made 45 teaser trailers alone, right?
• 32:39
  Exactly. That's before we can get to the
• 32:41
  episodes. Anyway, Long story short,
• 32:44
  Highlander number one, I will take no questions.
• 32:46
  It's really good. OK, number one beat out, beat
• 32:50
  out Mickey. Beat up Mickey Rourke, which I
• 32:54
  would, I would say those are both very, very good movies.
• 32:56
  Highlander just has an edge for being like really memorable
• 33:01
  because of its strangeness. Like there's a pop culture
• 33:03
  quality to that story. Like you remember the There Can
• 33:06
  Only Be 1 tagline, which was very popular coming out of this
• 33:10
  story. It's just iconic in a way that's
• 33:13
  hard. To explain, yeah, no, totally.
• 33:15
  It's I'm familiar with it even though I haven't ever seen it.
• 33:18
  So that I I want to watch it now.
• 33:21
  OK, it will. Well, you should, because for
• 33:23
  the time being it's the greatest movie of all time, so it's kind
• 33:25
  of weird that you haven't seen it.
• 33:26
  I haven't seen the best movie of all time.
• 33:27
  Yeah, I I've only seen like one in the middle somewhere of best
• 33:32
  movies you've seen. The third best movie of all time
• 33:35
  out of five. Yeah.
• 33:36
  Do you want me to just leave? Should you just do this whole
• 33:38
  list on your own? No, I want you to slip, spin
• 33:42
  that wheel and land on something you know.
• 33:45
  All right, let's bop it. It is #101 like the Dalmatians.
• 33:51
  Wouldn't it be funny if that was the movie?
• 33:53
  That would be great, but that's probably since it's
• 33:54
  alphabetical, that's probably higher up because that would be
• 33:56
  like movies that start with numbers A. 101 would be like the
• 34:00
  first movie. Yeah, which is weird because,
• 34:02
  again, we've seen that movie, I'm certain, but it would have
• 34:04
  been long enough ago that it didn't get on this, like, formal
• 34:07
  list. We'll have to.
• 34:09
  We'll have to think about how to throw that in there anyway.
• 34:12
  OK, Frank, you've saved it. You've turned the whole episode
• 34:15
  around #101 on our database is Star Wars Episode 2 Attack of
• 34:22
  the Closet. This is going to turn into a
• 34:24
  whole thing. Look, I don't think it has to.
• 34:28
  I think we just put it at #1 possibly zero and then just move
• 34:33
  on from there, right? Like.
• 34:35
  So we are. I don't want to lump us in with
• 34:40
  the growing crowd that does the same thing because I think we've
• 34:43
  been Star Wars prequel apologists from day one.
• 34:46
  I feel like now it's in the loop because they made that new
• 34:49
  trilogy and a lot of people didn't like those for good
• 34:51
  reason, because they're boring and kind of soulless to say,
• 34:54
  well, the prequels were on to something.
• 34:56
  They're not great, like they're not executed very well at times,
• 35:00
  but they're like, there's some quality to these movies that
• 35:03
  make them endearing. But I feel like we have those
• 35:07
  people beat by like at least a decade, right?
• 35:09
  Well, yes, I'm going to say yes and no, because I think a lot of
• 35:15
  the modern love for the prequels does come from nostalgia.
• 35:19
  It it, it was a lot of people around our age that that was
• 35:23
  their first introduction to Star Wars.
• 35:26
  And so people that watched the original films, you know, when
• 35:31
  those came out and that was all that existed.
• 35:34
  Everyone was very excited when the prequels came out.
• 35:36
  And then they were very much rejected at the time because
• 35:41
  people felt that they didn't live up to those original films.
• 35:44
  And so to a certain generation prior to us that had grown up on
• 35:49
  the old ones, they like hated those movies.
• 35:52
  But you know, when I was when I was a young boy watching like
• 36:00
  the Star Wars prequels, I was like, what are you talking
• 36:03
  about? It's the best thing I've ever
• 36:04
  seen in my life. And I think for you and I and A
• 36:09
  lot of other people as well as you, as you pointed out, that
• 36:12
  appreciation has grown in a genuine sense, too.
• 36:19
  I I there's a really, I think one of the most popular
• 36:22
  subreddit still to this day is prequel memes like Star Wars.
• 36:26
  Oh, yeah. Yeah.
• 36:27
  Prequel memes that that launched an entire era of like nostalgic
• 36:32
  meme stuff like there's you'll now see that about like the Sam
• 36:35
  Raimi spider man movies or Lord of the Rings or any number of
• 36:38
  things. But Star Wars prequel memes is
• 36:40
  like a landmark moment in Internet culture.
• 36:43
  Yes, I I think the prequels have gone through different, much
• 36:47
  like Hot Fuzz have gone through different stages of.
• 36:52
  Like Star Wars Episode 2 is in its Hot Fuzz at #3 Arrow right
• 36:56
  now. Exactly.
• 36:58
  They've gone, they've all gone through different stages of
• 37:02
  appreciation, like over the years from, you know, being like
• 37:07
  childhood memories to being this like thing that people make fun
• 37:11
  of to like, again, like you said, comparing it to like the
• 37:15
  modern landscape of kind of filmmaking in general,
• 37:18
  particularly among like studio filmmaking, but also like modern
• 37:21
  Star Wars to, to people like, well, you know, these films, for
• 37:26
  all their faults, had a clear vision and like unique visuals
• 37:31
  and like all of the things you can get into where you can
• 37:34
  actually just appreciate them in a, in a genuine sense.
• 37:39
  And even among the three, you know, you have Episode 1-2 and
• 37:44
  three. Attack of the Clones is an
• 37:45
  interesting one because I feel like it's arguably the least
• 37:48
  popular of those 3. I think it's a lot of people's
• 37:53
  least favorite, because Phantom Menace has the benefit of being
• 37:56
  the beginning of a story, and Revenge of the Sith has the
• 37:58
  benefit of being the end. So anytime you have a movie
• 38:02
  that's in the middle, it's going to have this kind of aimless
• 38:05
  quality to it. But yeah, I don't know.
• 38:07
  Do you think it's actually a worse movie than either of the
• 38:10
  other two? The wait, Oh, you mean?
• 38:14
  Is Attack of the Clones a worse movie than Phantom Menace or
• 38:17
  Revenge of the Sith? I.
• 38:19
  I don't think so. I think even I may have been in
• 38:23
  that camp at some point where I was like, you know, we can kind
• 38:27
  of skip those. Even I feel like there was there
• 38:28
  was re releases in the past couple years and there was a big
• 38:32
  Phantom Menace re release and a big Revenge of the Sith re
• 38:34
  release and I noticed they just skipped Attack of the Clones.
• 38:37
  There was no. Yeah, because I went to those
• 38:40
  and I did not even hear about an Attack of the Clones one.
• 38:43
  I'm sure they did one, but it got a lot less traction.
• 38:46
  I don't know if they did, Maybe they did, maybe, maybe I'm sure
• 38:49
  at some point over. The years it has been re
• 38:50
  released. But like, but the revenge of the
• 38:52
  sith re release, which I believe was early 2025 was I, I think
• 38:58
  the at the time at least, like the biggest box office film re
• 39:03
  release of all time. So there are legitimate
• 39:07
  arguments you can make again now to the value of the prequel
• 39:11
  films. But to to answer your question,
• 39:13
  I, I still love attack of the clones.
• 39:16
  I I think it introduces what I think is one of the best pieces
• 39:21
  of music of score it in the entire franchise with across the
• 39:25
  stars like the Anakin and Padme love ballad.
• 39:30
  And I do think it's just a a entertaining film, But it it
• 39:36
  obviously I could go on and talk about the prequels all day long.
• 39:39
  But this could be its own episode because we we talk about
• 39:42
  these movies all the time for no reason because we don't have any
• 39:45
  like, healthy debate. It's just like, yeah, I like it
• 39:47
  too. That's it.
• 39:48
  That's all we ever say is how much we like these movies.
• 39:51
  The only thing I could knock Attack of the Clones for is that
• 39:54
  much like a Hot Fuzz, it does save a lot of its action for
• 39:58
  like a big set piece toward the end of the movie and I think at
• 40:01
  the time it released. That giant scene of like the
• 40:04
  clone showing up and like 50 Jedis all fighting together with
• 40:07
  like a big cell because visually it was so unlike anything that
• 40:11
  had been put to screen before. But those effects have held up
• 40:14
  worse than a lot of the other stuff in those movies.
• 40:17
  And because you have to wait such a long time and then that's
• 40:19
  like the last 30 plus minutes, it drags a little bit because
• 40:23
  it's not really that interesting to watch now.
• 40:25
  It's like a cool story beat, but it is structured in a way that
• 40:29
  kind of like makes that the main event when it's not the most
• 40:32
  interesting thing in the movie. So I think Attack of the Clones
• 40:34
  is maybe the most imbalanced of the three, but I still like all
• 40:38
  of them. They're they are in a way, kind
• 40:41
  of an avant-garde masterpiece because they're so strange.
• 40:44
  Yeah, yeah, absolutely. And and they're also I, I agree
• 40:47
  with your, your assessment there too of the sort of the
• 40:50
  unbalanced storytelling. And and I'll circle back to that
• 40:55
  in a second here, but I also just wanted to point out too,
• 40:57
  because you mentioned like the visuals, like Attack of the
• 41:00
  Clones is also in a way like a landmark piece of cinema,
• 41:04
  because I believe it was one of the first feature films of that
• 41:10
  scale to be shot entirely digitally.
• 41:12
  And I remember hearing a story where like Lucas called all
• 41:17
  these like big name directors to like the Skywalker Ranch to have
• 41:22
  like this round table meeting. And like they were telling him
• 41:26
  like not to do it, that he was going to like ruin cinema by
• 41:29
  shooting this movie The way he was planning to shoot it.
• 41:32
  And now everything is shot digitally so.
• 41:35
  So maybe he did. So maybe he did.
• 41:37
  Good job, George. Good job George ruined it for
• 41:43
  everybody. Yeah, I mean, also there's also
• 41:47
  like somewhat legitimate argument that George Lucas
• 41:50
  really did change the landscape of of studio filmmaking for the
• 41:54
  worst in some ways with the original Star Wars films,
• 41:55
  because it set the precedent for like blockbuster filmmaking.
• 42:00
  And that just kind of changed how things were marketed and
• 42:03
  released from that point forward.
• 42:05
  So what you're saying is jar. Jar is the key to all of this.
• 42:08
  Jar Jar is the key to all of this, you see.
• 42:11
  I mean, it's just just to circle back around to your to your
• 42:15
  other point about the unbalanced storytelling in that in that
• 42:19
  second film, and you brought this up as well as like Lord of
• 42:22
  the Rings, like like a lot of people love the Lord of the
• 42:27
  Rings extended editions because they're like they take like 3
• 42:31
  hour films and turn to like 4 1/2 hour films a piece.
• 42:35
  And I think like a lot of people argue that those are better just
• 42:39
  because they love those films so much.
• 42:42
  They just love seeing more of them.
• 42:44
  You know, it's like, but as you and I have have discussed
• 42:48
  previously, like the theatrical cuts are better films because
• 42:52
  they're they're just they're tighter.
• 42:54
  They're they're paced better. A lot of those scenes that were
• 42:57
  cut out and then added back into the extended editions aren't
• 43:00
  really necessary. This is funny actually, because
• 43:03
  just to modernize again, that's the current debate at time of
• 43:06
  recording about the new Stranger Things season, which I have not
• 43:08
  watched, is that I guess like the fan base got into a tizzy
• 43:11
  because they were led to believe that there's all this like
• 43:13
  missing content from what was released.
• 43:16
  Even though the last season is like 12 hours long.
• 43:18
  They're convinced that the Duffer brothers cut out like 4
• 43:21
  hours of content in the middle because they don't understand
• 43:24
  what like deleted scenes are or like unfinished VFX sequences
• 43:29
  are. Like, it's like, no, it's not
• 43:31
  part of it. It's not part of the artwork
• 43:33
  that they made. It was like they condensed it.
• 43:36
  Yeah, it was. Yeah.
• 43:36
  It was probably something they may have even just considered
• 43:40
  shooting at some point and then never did.
• 43:41
  Like, yeah. There's so many stages where
• 43:44
  like even up to Lord of the Rings, which has some really
• 43:46
  good sequences in their deleted content, you could still be
• 43:49
  like, this is good but it's not worth disrupting the overall
• 43:54
  flow of the story to include it. So it's like, if you're a super
• 43:56
  fan, throw it back in, otherwise you don't need it.
• 44:00
  And people don't seem to get that because they just want more
• 44:02
  of everything. Yes, yes, exactly.
• 44:04
  Especially these like rabid fan bases for things like Star Wars
• 44:08
  and Stranger Things. Can you imagine being just so
• 44:11
  dogmatically in favour of something that you won't accept
• 44:13
  any criticism of it? Now go back to telling me why
• 44:16
  Jar Jar should be in episode 2 more.
• 44:17
  Yes, yes. So I, I will round this out,
• 44:21
  wrap this up by saying that I, as I said, could talk about the
• 44:27
  prequels all day, but it's a completely biased.
• 44:30
  And the point I was trying to tie it into with like the The
• 44:33
  Lord of the Rings, like extended editions is just like I watch
• 44:36
  Attack of the clones now. And I'm not even, I'm so biased
• 44:42
  in my favor of these films that just seeing, you know, Hayden
• 44:46
  Christensen as Anakin Skywalker doing anything on screen, I'm
• 44:50
  like, this is this is cinema. I mean, what, what what else do
• 44:52
  you want? Like, so this is, you know, I'm
• 44:57
  so biased towards these films. Like, I could have a
• 45:02
  intellectual debate or discussion about them, but I'm
• 45:06
  always going to be coming from the side of just how like,
• 45:10
  positively geared towards them I am.
• 45:12
  So that being said #1 The best film ever made is that #1.
• 45:20
  OK, this is tough, because it definitely clears the Hot Fuzz
• 45:25
  line. Of course, Hot Fuzz can't even
• 45:26
  see it, it's so far above its head.
• 45:28
  They're just like, what is that? It's a bird, it's a plane.
• 45:31
  It's Anakin Skywalker flipping through the sky.
• 45:34
  Flipping through the sky. Once you put Attack on the Clone
• 45:37
  specifically, which I think we agree is maybe the weakest of
• 45:40
  these prequel films up against Angel Heart and Highlander now
• 45:44
  we're like an ideological divide because it's like Angel Heart is
• 45:47
  like a fairly legitimate like film.
• 45:51
  It's telling a story. It's very self serious.
• 45:53
  It's can't be in the sense that there's like fantasy elements of
• 45:57
  it, but it's trying to be something like a self-contained
• 46:03
  piece of art that tells you one story.
• 46:05
  Highlander is more on the Star Wars side of being like crazy
• 46:08
  over the top, just trying to sell you on like atmosphere and
• 46:12
  energy. So it's like, how much clearance
• 46:15
  do we give Star Wars as a movie if we're just ranking best
• 46:19
  movies of all time? Star Wars maybe gets a boost
• 46:22
  from just how divisive and conversation driving it is.
• 46:26
  Yes, yes, it is definitely one of the movies of all time in a
• 46:32
  sense that it will always like. It's just, it's one of the
• 46:36
  biggest like IPS in the world. You know, it's just one of the
• 46:40
  most recognizable things and there's there would be people
• 46:45
  that think this is one of the worst movies of all time.
• 46:50
  I know, I know. It's so strange.
• 46:52
  Like ultimately it comes down to what you think the best is.
• 46:57
  And I think it's some combination of very like rigid
• 47:01
  structural elements of like, is it well made?
• 47:03
  Is it well acted? Is it impactful?
• 47:07
  Does it have a purpose to it? Is the store is it, does it have
• 47:10
  a message that is being conveyed effectively that makes you feel
• 47:12
  something? But then there's like 6000
• 47:14
  intangible qualities where ultimately you can just feel
• 47:17
  like, but this is better. Yes, exactly.
• 47:21
  And and that's the thing I really like.
• 47:23
  It would be silly, but I feel like I could argue for those
• 47:28
  things in Attack of the Clones, but it's, I almost feel like
• 47:32
  it's just such a conflict of interest for me.
• 47:34
  Like because it's just like there's like the logical, like
• 47:38
  analytical side of my brain looking at it as a piece of like
• 47:41
  film and filmmaking. And then there is just the sort
• 47:44
  of like nostalgia and appreciation I have for it at
• 47:49
  the same time, so. I I would say if there were
• 47:52
  other movies on this list already that were a little bit
• 47:55
  more of like serious contenders for like fantastic films that we
• 47:58
  both had seen and really liked, I'd contest this.
• 48:01
  But I'm not going to like fight this hard to keep it to keep
• 48:05
  Highlander above Attack. I like both movies.
• 48:08
  I think for the time being, Attack of the Clones could sit
• 48:12
  comfortably. It's the best movie ever made.
• 48:17
  I mean, I will. Having not seen Highlander, I
• 48:20
  will defer to you on this. I'm not going to argue too
• 48:25
  heavily for Attack of the Clones.
• 48:28
  I just like it it really. Then it becomes a a difference
• 48:32
  of like favorite versus best. And I mean, the name of the show
• 48:37
  is just ranking every movie ever made.
• 48:39
  So we didn't even really set a precedent there of.
• 48:43
  Well, we're figuring it out in real time.
• 48:45
  I thought we figured this out off mic, but now everyone knows.
• 48:47
  We're just total hacks about it. I would say that's fine.
• 48:52
  There's Attack of the Clones is not going to hold number one.
• 48:54
  It would lose out to most of the other Star Wars movies except
• 48:57
  the new ones, and it would lose out to a lot of other stuff.
• 48:59
  But for now, best movie ever made.
• 49:02
  Agreed. Obviously agreed.
• 49:04
  Yeah, 100%. Also, before somebody who thinks
• 49:07
  they know the alphabet accuses me of rigging this, they're
• 49:09
  like, how did he get Attack of the Clones at one O 1?
• 49:12
  If it's called Star Wars Attack of the Clones, it's because I
• 49:15
  think Frank, one of the times you watched it, you were being a
• 49:18
  little bit succinct and just wrote Attack of the Clones.
• 49:20
  So it did get filtered out when I looked for duplicates.
• 49:23
  A So the other the other Star Wars movies are down in like the
• 49:26
  one thousandths range, but through serendipity, entry
• 49:31
  number one O 1 just says Attack of the Clones.
• 49:33
  So that's why we talked about it.
• 49:34
  I rigged it. I rigged the system.
• 49:37
  He rigged the system seven years ago when he watched this movie
• 49:40
  and was like, yeah, that's the best thing I've ever seen.
• 49:44
  Yeah. Exactly.
• 49:45
  And then Revenge of the Sith popped up as like play next and
• 49:47
  he was like, hold on. Oh, wait a minute.
• 49:51
  What's the like distracted boyfriend meme?
• 49:54
  But it's like him looking at the thing behind him and the thing
• 49:56
  next to him at the same time. Going back and forth, holding
• 50:00
  hands with Attack of the Clones, looking at Revenge of the Sith.
• 50:02
  Got got Phantom Menace in my back pocket.
• 50:05
  Yeah. All right, Well, Attack of the
• 50:10
  Clones, temporarily, if not forever, the best movie of all
• 50:14
  time. Frank, We've got time to talk
• 50:17
  about probably one or two more before we hit our hour of
• 50:20
  recording time. So let's let's spin that wheel.
• 50:24
  Slap that bass, let's do it. Slap it to bass.
• 50:27
  Wow, we're going really far down the list now we are going to
• 50:32
  1621. Oh God, that's almost the
• 50:35
  bottom. Yeah, that's that's really low.
• 50:38
  So get movies that start with Z maybe?
• 50:41
  OK, 1621 in the database and has been selected 1998's Jackie Chan
• 50:49
  film Who Am I? Now?
• 50:53
  I'm pretty sure you've seen Who Am I?
• 50:55
  Right. No, I haven't so this.
• 51:01
  Is just I thought it would take multiple episodes for it to
• 51:04
  slowly settle in that this premise is cooked but instead
• 51:09
  it's it's from day one. I mean, I could talk about
• 51:13
  Attack of the Clones more if you want, but.
• 51:15
  That's fine, that's fine. We'll save that for.
• 51:18
  It's. Christmas special or something?
• 51:21
  Who am I? Is Jackie Chan doing The Bourne
• 51:25
  Identity? He has amnesia.
• 51:27
  He finds out over the course of the movie that he's actually
• 51:30
  like a secret agent and is really good at martial arts, and
• 51:33
  then he gets roped into a big adventure and has to remember
• 51:36
  his identity and solve a sort of action espionage espionage
• 51:41
  mystery. Yeah, cool.
• 51:43
  Is this the one where he like, screams?
• 51:45
  Who am I? Is that?
• 51:46
  Yes, he runs to the top of a Cliff and does a helicopter like
• 51:52
  shot that's like rotating around like a Michael Bay shot almost
• 51:55
  from really far away. And he's just going who am I?
• 51:57
  And. Now this was a like Hong Kong
• 52:01
  era Jackie Chan like. It was later stage Hong Kong era
• 52:05
  Jackie Chan. I think this is unless I'm
• 52:08
  misremembering. I saw it a long time ago but I
• 52:09
  believe it was made in Hong Kong with his full stunt team.
• 52:12
  But it was like 10 years removed from a lot of his most
• 52:14
  influential stuff like police story one and two.
• 52:17
  I've seen a lot of peek Jackie Chan movies and I'm a really big
• 52:20
  fan. We love martial arts stuff.
• 52:23
  I would not rank Who am I especially high on that list.
• 52:28
  To my memory. It still has some fantastic
• 52:30
  scenes in it, but it's sort of like an iteration fatigue for
• 52:34
  Jackie Chan and company where it's like, you've done this like
• 52:36
  10 times by now, so it's kind of hard to place like, like if we
• 52:39
  get other Jackie Chan polls, they'll go above Who Am I?
• 52:42
  But does it beat Hot Fuzz? I I don't know, I've seen Hot
• 52:51
  Fuzz, so. He's seen Hot Fuzz.
• 52:54
  I'm going to say to my recollection, this is not a good
• 52:59
  enough Jackie Chan movie. Like, if you've never seen the
• 53:01
  Jackie Chan action movie from this time, you'd be blown away.
• 53:04
  But there's so many that are better.
• 53:06
  And I do think that who am I got really caught up on this
• 53:08
  premise. Like most of his movies from
• 53:10
  that time, he's just a cop. Just a cop chasing dudes down
• 53:13
  and finding like loose excuses to do really interesting stunt
• 53:16
  work. At police store, the original
• 53:19
  Jackie Chan police story is one of like the best action films
• 53:25
  ever made. That's like no hyperbole.
• 53:28
  It's part of the like Criterion collection now.
• 53:31
  Like it is gorgeous cinema, incredible stunts, like exciting
• 53:39
  story. It's funny in a way that like I
• 53:44
  think will it's a lot of like physical almost slapstick humor
• 53:48
  in a way that crosses regional boundaries.
• 53:52
  You know, it's not, it's not like it's it's something that
• 53:55
  like audiences from different countries would still find funny
• 53:58
  as well, too, which is that usually, you know, comedy is
• 54:01
  something that doesn't always translate as well.
• 54:03
  So like, yeah, when that one comes up, like police story,
• 54:06
  which I know we've both seen and is on this list, that one would
• 54:09
  be ranked really high. Police story would go really
• 54:12
  high. In general, these Jackie Chan
• 54:14
  movies, like you said, there is that comedy element that's
• 54:16
  really notable. He kind of seems to take
• 54:18
  inspiration from like silent film, like comedy stars like
• 54:21
  Buster Keaton and stuff. There's so much physicality to
• 54:24
  it and so much genuine danger in the stunt work they were doing
• 54:28
  at that time that like, it's something you can commend them
• 54:31
  for doing but would never want to see happen again because it's
• 54:34
  so risky. And Chan like, risked his health
• 54:37
  and the health of everybody on his stunt team, like a lot.
• 54:40
  So it's again, we were talking about like Big Short being like,
• 54:43
  that's a commendable goal. Whereas Jackie Chan stunt movies
• 54:46
  are like, it's worth it if we get the shot.
• 54:48
  Yeah, this is dangerous filmmaking that is probably not
• 54:52
  worth it in a lot of cases, but yeah, man, does it look good.
• 54:56
  And you then you get those those fun blooper reels at the end of
• 55:00
  all of his films too. All.
• 55:01
  The blooper reels and he does always too, like even for stuff
• 55:04
  that's not dangerous. It's really notable because he
• 55:07
  always will do even small flourishes like 1000 times just
• 55:12
  to get them correct so that they can add to like this mythos of
• 55:15
  him as a character on screen. It makes it look like he could
• 55:18
  do all these things effortlessly because even a simple little gag
• 55:22
  about him, like flipping a pencil with his foot and
• 55:24
  catching it behind his ear, he just does it so many times until
• 55:27
  they get it, and then it looks like he could do it without even
• 55:29
  trying. And Who Am I still has that.
• 55:31
  Like, there's some good classic stunt work in here, but I think
• 55:35
  if anything, it tries too hard to have a real story and gets a
• 55:38
  little bit lost in doing so. So I would put it charitably
• 55:43
  right below Hot Fuzz, maybe below Big Short.
• 55:46
  I don't know what's more important.
• 55:50
  What's your list, man? You've seen all these movies,
• 55:52
  so. Yeah, this is my list that Frank
• 55:54
  sometimes sometimes barges into to talk about attacking the
• 55:57
  Cologne. Yeah, I'm going to put who am I
• 56:01
  below Big Short, but above 48 hours because I just didn't
• 56:04
  really like 48 hours. 48 hours continues to be the worst thing
• 56:09
  humanity's ever made, question mark.
• 56:11
  Oh gosh, yeah. Talk about dangerous Nick Nolte
• 56:14
  on my screen. I love him.
• 56:18
  Please be on our show. Mr. Nolte.
• 56:19
  He. Did a Nick Nolte marathon for
• 56:24
  you? I did.
• 56:25
  I watched like a dozen Nolte movies and he's been in a couple
• 56:29
  that have good Metacritic scores that I just personally still did
• 56:32
  not really enjoy that much. But he's been in so many movies
• 56:35
  that don't even clear, like the Rotten meter on Rotten Tomatoes.
• 56:39
  They're like 50% and below, like everything he's ever been in.
• 56:43
  Well, that's what we can talk to him about when he's on the show.
• 56:45
  Why are you? Why are you so bad at this?
• 56:47
  Why do you make? Mr. Old Movies, have you
• 56:49
  considered being in good movies like Who Am I and Attack of the
• 56:52
  Clone? Get his agent on the phone.
• 56:57
  Get his agent on the phone. OK, I think we have time for one
• 57:01
  more. So, Frank, why don't we, for one
• 57:03
  final time in this first episode, spin that, Flip that
• 57:06
  wheel. Yep, that's it.
• 57:09
  That's what we say every time, and it is #1048.
• 57:17
  OK, all right, we might be on to something.
• 57:21
  I don't think I've seen this one. 1048 in the database.
• 57:24
  Is Sailor Moon R the movie? Just hold for some Googling real
• 57:39
  quick. I see Googling.
• 57:40
  Oh my goodness, he was the ones he's seen.
• 57:44
  Now that's Sailor Moon, the anime I assume?
• 57:48
  Sailor Moon R the Movie. So I've seen this movie is what?
• 57:58
  You're telling me you've seen To my knowledge you have seen
• 58:02
  Sailor Moon R the movie? Because I have not.
• 58:06
  And I know you wrote this down because there's no year next to
• 58:08
  it, which is something you used to do.
• 58:10
  You forgot to add the year. I Well, it's 1993.
• 58:14
  Here's when the movie came out, and it's about all I can tell
• 58:19
  you. That's about all.
• 58:21
  What? OK.
• 58:23
  Why don't you? Just tell me what movie you want
• 58:24
  to. See, I, I watched a good chunk
• 58:32
  of the original, I assume the original Sailor Moon anime,
• 58:36
  which whichever version of the Sailor Moon anime, because I
• 58:38
  know there's been several, was like the Toonami era.
• 58:42
  I think there was like a 90 like maybe late 80s to early 90s
• 58:45
  Sailor Moon anime and OK, this was one of the movies.
• 58:52
  I guess for people who don't know, what is Sailor Moon?
• 58:56
  Sailor Moon is a magical girl series which I which I think is
• 59:01
  is the yeah is the correct terminology.
• 59:04
  That's like a proper genre tag. Yep, for anime.
• 59:06
  Yes, it is about a high school girl in Japan who transforms
• 59:13
  into a superhero of sorts, which is sort of a a lead in to our
• 59:17
  next season perhaps. Wink, wink.
• 59:23
  Find out at the end. Find out at the end.
• 59:24
  Stay tuned, I spoiled it so. Next season, I mean your double
• 59:29
  feature Sailor Moon. All of them.
• 59:32
  Is there more? Who knows?
• 59:34
  Who knows? So OK, so Sailor Moon, very
• 59:38
  popular anime. Yeah, I mean, it's it's
• 59:41
  definitely something people would be familiar with.
• 59:43
  This may have even been something that aired on like
• 59:46
  Toonami at some point like which is a lot of American audiences
• 59:51
  entry point for anime and I wish I remembered anything about it
• 59:58
  but. This is good.
• 1:00:00
  This is a great episode for you. Haven't seen it.
• 1:00:02
  Haven't seen it. Star Wars Attack of the Clones.
• 1:00:05
  What? Sailor Moon.
• 1:00:08
  Thanks everybody. I'll.
• 1:00:11
  See you next time. I'm excited to be here.
• 1:00:13
  So this is not coming out right. This is like this is a pilot.
• 1:00:19
  Well, this is so where do we want to put this one?
• 1:00:22
  Where do you where do you think Sailor Moon?
• 1:00:26
  I can't imagine it would be like oh wow this Sailor Moon movie
• 1:00:29
  was like a disaster. It's probably about as good as
• 1:00:32
  the show was. Yeah, no, I mean it.
• 1:00:34
  It's, I assume it was just like a feature length episode of the
• 1:00:39
  show and the, the show, the show itself, again, for anyone who's
• 1:00:44
  not familiar, is very basic. It like, like I said, it falls
• 1:00:48
  into that magical girls sub genre.
• 1:00:49
  I think probably falls into another sub genre too 'cause
• 1:00:52
  it's almost like Power Rangers where, you know, 'cause there's,
• 1:00:57
  there's our main character, but then there's like, you know,
• 1:00:59
  four other girls that turn into the Sailor Guardians is their
• 1:01:03
  name. OK, yeah, who's remembering?
• 1:01:05
  I'm remembering. I think Jackie Chan did the
• 1:01:10
  stunt work for the Sailor Moon girls, yeah.
• 1:01:13
  How many sailor characters can you name?
• 1:01:15
  Because it's it's like Sailor Moon, but then as the other ones
• 1:01:17
  like Sailor Mercury, right? Sailor Mercury.
• 1:01:20
  Sailor Jupiter. Sailor Venus.
• 1:01:25
  OK. Tuxedo Mask.
• 1:01:28
  Tuxedo Mask. There's one more Sailor One in
• 1:01:33
  there and she has a cat. She does have a cat and he's got
• 1:01:38
  a little OK Crescent moon. On his head.
• 1:01:41
  I'm just moving. This is really just what
• 1:01:43
  impression? I watched a movie 10 years ago
• 1:01:46
  and vaguely recounted the O8 housing crash.
• 1:01:48
  Frank can't even bring to mind who Sailor Moon is other than
• 1:01:51
  she has a cat. All right, so I'm going to
• 1:01:55
  assume this has to go near the bottom I.
• 1:01:59
  Think it should go near the top. Actually, I think this has been
• 1:02:01
  pretty good. It's got to go either above or
• 1:02:05
  below 48 hours, right? Like is this is?
• 1:02:08
  Should we assume this was better than who am I, I?
• 1:02:10
  I don't think so. No, I think I think right about
• 1:02:12
  48 hours, though this is not offensive in any way.
• 1:02:16
  I don't mean to give the impression to like 48 hours is 1
• 1:02:19
  of the better Nick Nolte movies, it's just still not very good.
• 1:02:24
  Yeah. Oh man, that's so funny.
• 1:02:27
  Sailor Moon. Good stuff.
• 1:02:29
  All right, just adding that to my list here.
• 1:02:32
  We're going to have graphics coming up throughout the episode
• 1:02:34
  so people be in the know, but for Frank and I, this is just
• 1:02:36
  going in a Word document. Maybe I should go rewatch this
• 1:02:39
  movie and then I can come back in like in the edit be like OK
• 1:02:43
  sorry I remember now I remember Sailor Moon.
• 1:02:46
  Tell you what, let's do that. Let's let's leave time here.
• 1:02:49
  When we record next time, you have to come back and tell me
• 1:02:51
  about Sailor Moon R, but you just give me like 30 seconds and
• 1:02:55
  we're going to play that now. OK, This is Frank from the
• 1:02:58
  future talking about Sailor Moon R the movie.
• 1:03:01
  She does have a cat, that's true.
• 1:03:04
  He. Still can't.
• 1:03:07
  Remember. Me, I just saw it, but the cat
• 1:03:13
  could be talking about that list.
• 1:03:14
  It was a cat. He has a name.
• 1:03:16
  I don't know what it is, but he's got one.
• 1:03:19
  Oh man, that's that's embarrassing.
• 1:03:31
  OK, well that's that's the end of episode 1 of ranking every
• 1:03:36
  movie ever made. We ranked eight movies today.
• 1:03:39
  There can't be that many more left.
• 1:03:41
  Should we do what? Should we do one more just so we
• 1:03:43
  don't end on? Yeah, I feel that ending on
• 1:03:45
  Sailor Moon. Let's let's spin the spin the
• 1:03:46
  flip the wheel again, OK? What 11?
• 1:03:50
  Last one? We're going to end on 275.
• 1:03:54
  OK 275 just says Cinderella story with no year so this has
• 1:04:01
  got to be you again. What is Cinderella's story?
• 1:04:07
  Not Cinderella, man. Not Cinderella, man, which
• 1:04:11
  apparently is not on here. We must have watched that a long
• 1:04:13
  time ago. Oh.
• 1:04:15
  OK, yes, Cinderella's Story is a 2004 film starring Hilary Duff
• 1:04:23
  and Chad Michael Murray. What?
• 1:04:31
  What is this? What is he doing?
• 1:04:37
  This is like a team Hallmark movie.
• 1:04:40
  Like it's. A Disney movie.
• 1:04:44
  OK, like a Disney Channel. We didn't start this list when
• 1:04:47
  we were five. OK, this this started like 10
• 1:04:51
  years ago. Not since.
• 1:04:54
  Let's just how many entries on this list are just going to be
• 1:04:57
  like Veggie Tales? Vegggie Tales?
• 1:05:01
  Let's just put that. Let's just put that right above
• 1:05:05
  Sailor Moon and just do one more.
• 1:05:07
  We're just going to do one more. We're just going to put some
• 1:05:11
  other story and then Sailor Moon and then we're going.
• 1:05:14
  To jump went above 48 hours without even asking, it's great
• 1:05:21
  in there above. It's like, hey, do you want to
• 1:05:23
  see a buddy cop movie that launched Eddie Murphy or do you
• 1:05:25
  want to see Chad Michael Murray try to romance Hilary Duff?
• 1:05:28
  And it's like, well, no question.
• 1:05:30
  Hilary Duff, Absolutely. Yeah, Yeah, he's back.
• 1:05:33
  He was back in Chad, the the Chad store.
• 1:05:35
  He was in the new Freaker Friday.
• 1:05:38
  I think I, I think he, he made a comeback, Chad.
• 1:05:40
  Is back. Chad is back One Tree Hill.
• 1:05:43
  Chad is back. What have you been doing with
• 1:05:46
  your time? I just.
• 1:05:48
  Moving on. So we're going to go to episode
• 1:05:50
  number whatever movie 590. 590 This will round us out at 10 for
• 1:05:57
  the episode. OK OK, OK, First off, we just
• 1:06:01
  missed all the Harry Potters, so we don't get to talk about those
• 1:06:04
  today. But #590 on our database is 1997
• 1:06:08
  Disney's Hercules. Nice.
• 1:06:11
  Now we're talking. Now we're talking.
• 1:06:13
  Now we're cooking. This is the movie you did watch
• 1:06:15
  as a kid, but then we've both seen since.
• 1:06:18
  I've seen it, I'm familiar. I'm familiar.
• 1:06:21
  Hilary Duff said it. Hilary Duff, the Chad McMurray.
• 1:06:24
  He's pretty strong or something. He's got a cat.
• 1:06:28
  He's not having a cat. OK.
• 1:06:32
  I mean, this one, now we're now we're having a real
• 1:06:33
  conversation. Hercules 97.
• 1:06:35
  This is like the middle of the Disney Renaissance of the 90s, a
• 1:06:41
  mostly unbroken streak of like landmark animated films.
• 1:06:46
  Yeah, absolutely. Yeah, I think it, I mean, I
• 1:06:49
  think it's after the fact of this, of course, but yeah, the
• 1:06:52
  typically referred to as like the Disney Renaissance era.
• 1:06:55
  If you grew up and during a certain time period, there was
• 1:06:58
  many people's VHS collections, they had that like big like
• 1:07:02
  chunky, like white plastic container.
• 1:07:06
  Yeah. What was with that?
• 1:07:07
  It was like Avhs case that was like bigger than all your other
• 1:07:10
  VHS cases. I'm guessing that was a way to
• 1:07:14
  make the movies pop out for kids like in video stores.
• 1:07:18
  Like if they were bigger it'd be easier to see.
• 1:07:20
  Yeah, 'cause most of those VHS tapes just have those cardboard
• 1:07:23
  sleeves, but all the of those Disney movies from that era had
• 1:07:28
  that. Yeah, that that big white
• 1:07:30
  plastic that opened up like a book.
• 1:07:33
  Yeah, so anyway, Hercules, pretty good.
• 1:07:35
  That's all we have to say about Hercules.
• 1:07:36
  That's. All we have to say about
• 1:07:37
  Hercules? No, Hercules has got to be near
• 1:07:40
  the top of the list as it stands so far.
• 1:07:43
  I mean, it's a pretty like unassailably good children's
• 1:07:47
  animated movie. Yeah, no, it's great.
• 1:07:49
  I mean, like the music is fun. The animation of that era.
• 1:07:55
  I mean, Disney really was putting out like hit after hit,
• 1:07:57
  you know, like with might have started.
• 1:07:59
  I don't remember what the first one might have been.
• 1:08:01
  Little Mermaid. But I don't know.
• 1:08:03
  I know Beauty and the Beast is 93.
• 1:08:07
  Something predates that though. Maybe it's The Little Mermaid.
• 1:08:10
  I don't know. But yeah, all very good.
• 1:08:12
  All kind of just fit together. I mean, the the standout among
• 1:08:15
  those standouts is maybe Lion King, but Hercules still very,
• 1:08:19
  very good. Yeah, yeah, I I think Lion King
• 1:08:23
  was probably my favorite of those grouping of films.
• 1:08:26
  Like, if I had to pick one out of all those to rank the
• 1:08:29
  highest, it would be Lion King. But Hercules was like just a
• 1:08:34
  very incorrect retelling of of Greek mythology.
• 1:08:39
  Very incorrect, I come to think of it.
• 1:08:43
  Why don't we push it down a few places?
• 1:08:46
  It was just all, you know, like completely reorganized for the
• 1:08:50
  purposes of the story that they were telling.
• 1:08:52
  But there was a lot of Hercules media from that time, too.
• 1:08:55
  There was like the Kevin Sorbo Hercules TV show, which was a
• 1:08:58
  lot of fun. True.
• 1:09:00
  Yeah, it was in Greek mythology, was in.
• 1:09:03
  Specifically Hercules though, like he was the poster boy.
• 1:09:08
  I'm trying to think with Hercules, if I can think of
• 1:09:10
  anything to like, knock it for. I mean, it's got just like all
• 1:09:13
  the others from that time. It's got a great cast.
• 1:09:15
  You have like Danny DeVito as Phil the Seder.
• 1:09:18
  He gets a fun musical number in there.
• 1:09:20
  I would say maybe it has like less like what's the morals?
• 1:09:25
  What's the moral of Hercules? I feel like a lot of these other
• 1:09:28
  Disney movies have pretty like good strong messages for kids.
• 1:09:32
  Hercules trying to remember like, what they're even going
• 1:09:35
  for with that one. Yeah, hit the hit the gym like.
• 1:09:43
  Hit the gym, that's what I mean. Like actually it's like his main
• 1:09:48
  song at the beginning Hercules himself is singing like I can go
• 1:09:51
  the distance like I will go anywhere to find where I belong.
• 1:09:56
  Like he obviously is. The story poorly retells.
• 1:09:59
  He gets like essentially robbed from his cradle and taken out of
• 1:10:04
  Olympus and brought down to Earth and raced as immortal.
• 1:10:07
  But then he finds out he is a God and has like, you know,
• 1:10:09
  superhuman strength and invulnerability.
• 1:10:12
  And then he becomes Hercules and goes on all these trials and has
• 1:10:14
  to deal with Hades. I feel like ultimately it's
• 1:10:17
  probably just making a point about like your strength comes
• 1:10:20
  from within. But some of that is muddled by
• 1:10:23
  the actual like textual events of the story where like because
• 1:10:28
  towards the end he gets his strength drained, that's like
• 1:10:30
  the deal he makes with Haiti's to save his girlfriend.
• 1:10:32
  If he like loses all of his strength and he can't do
• 1:10:35
  nothing, he's. Just a wimp.
• 1:10:38
  But then. But then his gains have
• 1:10:40
  disappeared. He still had his gains, he still
• 1:10:43
  had the BOD, he just didn't have the Super strength to go with
• 1:10:46
  it. But then he saves the day by
• 1:10:50
  like sacrificing himself to save Meg, and that's what gives him
• 1:10:57
  his. Oh, he dives into the, like, pit
• 1:11:00
  of souls, right? Or something.
• 1:11:03
  There's like a swirling, like, abyss and he dives into it even
• 1:11:06
  though they say that's going to kill him.
• 1:11:07
  OK, so yeah, it's like strength comes from within.
• 1:11:11
  But also hit the gym. It almost rhymes, yeah.
• 1:11:19
  Strength comes from within ellipses.
• 1:11:26
  Yeah. I mean, I don't know.
• 1:11:28
  I was just trying to think of, like, anything to help place
• 1:11:30
  Hercules amongst those other ones.
• 1:11:31
  And I would say it's like a fun movie.
• 1:11:33
  But the moral language in, like, Mulan is like, really powerful,
• 1:11:37
  or even in, like, Lion King is really powerful.
• 1:11:39
  Like, good stuff to talk to kids about.
• 1:11:42
  Whereas I'm like, is a kid going to understand the point of
• 1:11:45
  Hercules? Yeah, yeah, I, I just yesterday
• 1:11:48
  I went to go see the new Anaconda movie with the Jack
• 1:11:53
  Black, you know, and. Does that go at the bottom of
• 1:11:56
  this list or? Well, we have to land on it
• 1:12:00
  first, but there's just, there's just a, there's a recurring bit
• 1:12:05
  in there because they're making their own movie and they're,
• 1:12:06
  they're like writing it and they just keep saying like themes to
• 1:12:10
  each other. You know, they're just like what
• 1:12:12
  they're because they're trying to talk about like what the
• 1:12:14
  original Anacondo was about or like what the theme of that
• 1:12:17
  movie was. And they're writing their own
• 1:12:19
  and they're just like themes. It's just like, that's where
• 1:12:23
  we're at with Hercules. It's just like themes.
• 1:12:26
  What is the theme of Hercules? Yeah, OK.
• 1:12:30
  So Hercules, I guess setting the stage, I would put other Disney
• 1:12:35
  Renaissance movies above Hercules.
• 1:12:37
  Maybe not all of them, but some of them.
• 1:12:38
  Where does it fit on the list as it stands now?
• 1:12:41
  Well, I mean, definitely above Nick Nolte that that just kind
• 1:12:44
  of goes without. Well, OK, yeah, we can go all
• 1:12:46
  the way up the list. It's above Nick Nolte.
• 1:12:47
  We don't even remember Sailor Moon.
• 1:12:50
  Cinderella's story's got Hilary Duff.
• 1:12:51
  That's a no. Does it pass?
• 1:12:54
  Hot Fuss, I guess, is your first real barrier.
• 1:12:58
  Honestly, maybe no, maybe no. OK, yeah.
• 1:13:04
  What do you think? I think similarly, it's kind of
• 1:13:08
  in that same campus, Jackie Chance, who am I?
• 1:13:10
  Where it's like, if you've never seen one, it's going to blow
• 1:13:13
  your mind. But like if you've seen the
• 1:13:14
  previous ones, it feels just like another one.
• 1:13:17
  Like it feels like them getting another, you know, practice Rep
• 1:13:20
  in of like it's like practice at the highest level because it's
• 1:13:22
  really good and like gorgeously animated and had such fun music.
• 1:13:25
  But when you have other versions of the same thing that come
• 1:13:29
  after and come before that are a little bit better, it does kind
• 1:13:34
  of like push these back down where it's like, no, there's
• 1:13:37
  just not really any reason to seek out Hercules.
• 1:13:38
  If you've never seen a 90s Disney movie, you should start
• 1:13:42
  Beauty and the Beast or Lion King or Mulan like any number of
• 1:13:45
  other places. So maybe below Hot Fuzz, above
• 1:13:50
  Big Short? Yeah, that feels right.
• 1:13:53
  OK, Zero to hero. Zero to hero just like that.
• 1:13:59
  OK, right, That's pretty good. We ranked ten movies out of
• 1:14:04
  number of movies that exist and we'll be I guess that's we'll be
• 1:14:10
  back in two weeks with regular meet Your double feature
• 1:14:12
  programming. We're gearing up to start our
• 1:14:13
  next full regular season of our program, which if you've never
• 1:14:17
  tuned into that before, very basic premise.
• 1:14:19
  Frank and I each recommend movies to each other that
• 1:14:21
  neither of us have seen previously.
• 1:14:23
  And then we review each one kind of telling each other the story
• 1:14:25
  of the movie we were assigned just to find out who can give a
• 1:14:28
  better blind movie recommendation.
• 1:14:30
  It's a very fun show. If you've listened to us so far,
• 1:14:32
  I'm sure that's probably why you're here now.
• 1:14:34
  But if you haven't, please check out our previous episodes and
• 1:14:36
  stay tuned for what we have coming up.
• 1:14:39
  Frank, do you want to finish revealing the premise for our
• 1:14:42
  upcoming new season of Meet Your Double Feature?
• 1:14:45
  Yeah. Are we allowed to now?
• 1:14:47
  Like this is an official drop. I think so, because this
• 1:14:50
  episode's going out in the regular episode time slot on
• 1:14:53
  Thursday, and then two weeks from now will be Season 2,
• 1:14:57
  episode one. Kind of like resetting the board
• 1:14:59
  on the point totals and stuff that we've discussed so far.
• 1:15:02
  Fresh, clean slate. And yeah, why don't you let the
• 1:15:04
  folks know the premise? Cool.
• 1:15:07
  So Sailor Moon, she has this cat, right?
• 1:15:11
  And no. I mean, yes she does, but no SO.
• 1:15:20
  For Season 1, we did forgotten 90s movies because that was a
• 1:15:24
  fun sort of playground for us to to mess around in.
• 1:15:27
  But for Season 2, which we think will be a shorter season, but
• 1:15:33
  we're going to do forgotten superhero films because, well,
• 1:15:40
  you know, why not? But.
• 1:15:41
  Why not? We've got a lot of.
• 1:15:43
  Episodes to do so gotta do something gotta do.
• 1:15:49
  Something now. I think the premise was that
• 1:15:53
  much like how we were fans of the Star Wars prequels before
• 1:15:56
  everybody else was, we also grew up reading comic books and stuff
• 1:16:00
  that predate the modern, like Marvel Cinematic Universe and
• 1:16:04
  modern DC stuff. And there was this whole age
• 1:16:07
  where they were releasing the odd superhero movie and like
• 1:16:09
  none of them performed well, nobody liked them.
• 1:16:12
  A ton of them went completely under the radar.
• 1:16:14
  But they all feel so unique now because they were individual
• 1:16:18
  projects and not part of like a 15 movie long arc.
• 1:16:23
  And so I think it'd be fun to go back and introduce each other to
• 1:16:26
  some like, forgotten films from that free 2008 era and just look
• 1:16:31
  at like, what superhero movies used to be like in the movie
• 1:16:33
  world. Yeah, and we're going to try and
• 1:16:35
  dig deep, you know, and not stretch too far that like what a
• 1:16:40
  superhero movie is. I think they'll all still very
• 1:16:42
  much be superhero movies, but they could be so many different
• 1:16:46
  things before, but now they've all become very sanitized and
• 1:16:50
  and similar. So it, it will be interesting, I
• 1:16:54
  think to kind of poke around and and see what we can find there.
• 1:16:57
  So you see in Iron Man 2, right? He has the Whips and he's on the
• 1:16:59
  racetrack. Yeah, and he's got the whips on
• 1:17:02
  the race tracks. We should probably start there.
• 1:17:04
  Yeah, like those cars are going like really fast.
• 1:17:06
  Really fast, but they fell down because he hit him with the
• 1:17:09
  whips. Because he hit him with the
• 1:17:10
  whips. Yeah, it's good.
• 1:17:12
  Yeah, good. Yep.
• 1:17:18
  Can you imagine if, like, that's the format for ranking every
• 1:17:21
  movie ever made? If we just, like, Peter out, we
• 1:17:23
  just don't even say bye. It just ends.
• 1:17:27
  I think we should. Yeah, stop.
• 1:17:29
  That's fine. Thank you for joining us for the
• 1:17:31
  first episode of our new supplementary series, Ranking
• 1:17:35
  Every Movie Ever Made. Please let us know by liking,
• 1:17:38
  favoriting, commenting, sharing, whatever you need to do.
• 1:17:41
  Let us know what you thought of this new format, because for us,
• 1:17:44
  I think it's really fun. It's a great way to tackle the
• 1:17:47
  massive library of movies that Frank and I have previously seen
• 1:17:50
  before starting Meet Your Double Feature.
• 1:17:52
  So I think it's a really great supplement for us.
• 1:17:55
  But let us know if you like the format, if you want to see
• 1:17:56
  changes, if you want to see us banned from the Internet for
• 1:17:59
  putting a tack on the clone so high.
• 1:18:02
  Come at me. What'd you say?
• 1:18:05
  I said come at me, come at me it.
• 1:18:09
  You cut out in the call, and it honestly is not like you got
• 1:18:12
  like bleeped by Discord, like you were just like cursing out
• 1:18:14
  the audience. All right, we're going.
• 1:18:20
  We'll do it for this first episode of ranking every movie
• 1:18:23
  Ever made TuneIn in two weeks when we return with a brand new
• 1:18:27
  season of Beat Your Double Feature.
• 1:18:28
  And until then, Frank's going to send us out.
• 1:18:32
  Yeah, so I don't remember her cat's name, but he's got this
• 1:18:36
  like thing on his head. And no, we're not talking about
• 1:18:42
  that anymore.