Latest / Dear Chelsea / Soap in the Hole with Cat and Nat

Transcript

Soap in the Hole with Cat and Nat · Dear Chelsea

• 0:01
  Speaker 1: Hi, Good morning, Katherine, Hello morning. Does everybody want to
• 0:07
  Speaker 1: hear me sing? I don't think so. But I have
• 0:09
  Speaker 1: learned how to dance a little bit. What I've learned
• 0:12
  Speaker 1: is to just side step to the beat, like just
• 0:14
  Speaker 1: a two steps. I can do that. So I'm going
• 0:16
  Speaker 1: to do that just for everything, and I'm not going
• 0:19
  Speaker 1: to try to get anything more complicated than that. You
• 0:21
  Speaker 1: know what, Chelsea, we had. I just sorry, Katherine. I
• 0:24
  Speaker 1: just want everyone to know that I'm drinking room temperature
• 0:26
  Speaker 1: water right now. It's actually got a little bit of
• 0:29
  Speaker 1: a coolness to it, so it's palatable. But this is
• 0:32
  Speaker 1: a real tough bill for me to swallow. She does
• 0:34
  Speaker 1: not like the water. I left my thermis in my car.
• 0:36
  Speaker 1: I love my thermiss. By the way, shout out to Welly.
• 0:39
  Speaker 1: They make the best thermiss. I could put ice in
• 0:41
  Speaker 1: my Welly bottle and it's ice three days later. Yes,
• 0:44
  Speaker 1: can I tell you something? I have made yogurt in
• 0:48
  Speaker 1: my Welly bottle before you know what, Katherine, this is
• 0:52
  Speaker 1: not something I want to hear about. I says, right up,
• 0:55
  Speaker 1: I'm surprised you did say cottage cheese. I have made
• 0:59
  Speaker 1: my own cheese. Actually, of you, I mean fucking Brad
• 1:02
  Speaker 1: your way to bury the lead. Being married to Catherine,
• 1:05
  Speaker 1: She's up to no good. I love fermented foods. I
• 1:08
  Speaker 1: had a military death on one of my planes the
• 1:10
  Speaker 1: other day and we stopped and they were transporting a
• 1:13
  Speaker 1: military bottle body and there were those a whole ceremony
• 1:19
  Speaker 1: outside the plane with like the military and their family,
• 1:22
  Speaker 1: which was sad because they were all crying, but it
• 1:25
  Speaker 1: was really sweet to see the how they do that.
• 1:28
  Speaker 1: I was like, well, wait, I guess the airports aren't
• 1:30
  Speaker 1: that fucked up if they can swing this, like you
• 1:32
  Speaker 1: know what. I mean that releas had some decorum and
• 1:34
  Speaker 1: some respect because I don't know what's happening with flights lately,
• 1:38
  Speaker 1: but something is way hole. One of my girlfriends got
• 1:41
  Speaker 1: stuck at Burbank Airport for like all of Christmas Day.
• 1:44
  Speaker 1: Everyone did canceled all their flights. I mean, yeah, it's
• 1:48
  Speaker 1: been pretty brutal the travel situation. But I guess I
• 1:51
  Speaker 1: have to tell you, Chelsea, we have not had a
• 1:54
  Speaker 1: question in a long time that's had as much totally
• 1:57
  Speaker 1: varied feedback as Jesse from a fore weeks ago. She
• 2:01
  Speaker 1: called in and remember we talked to her like all
• 2:03
  Speaker 1: like the entire episode with Brooke Shields about her in
• 2:07
  Speaker 1: laws yelling at her on the rafting trip, and then
• 2:10
  Speaker 1: we kind of got We discovered at the call she
• 2:12
  Speaker 1: seemed to be she needed to do some work. Yeah,
• 2:15
  Speaker 1: we discovered that early on, but we were trying to
• 2:18
  Speaker 1: be respectful before, at least I was before I told her. Yeah,
• 2:22
  Speaker 1: so with the dishwashing. But we had people emailing in
• 2:24
  Speaker 1: being like, go get her girls, she did wrong. Other
• 2:27
  Speaker 1: people being like, no, it was totally her in law's
• 2:30
  Speaker 1: fault for screaming at her, and I just thought it
• 2:32
  Speaker 1: was really interesting. I don't know if you've gotten damns
• 2:33
  Speaker 1: about this, but I've gotten a lot of I haven't. Yeah,
• 2:37
  Speaker 1: that's interesting, Yeah, I'm sure. Well, everybody's very relatable situation, right, Yeah,
• 2:41
  Speaker 1: it's it's tough within laws. I think nobody doesn't get married.
• 2:44
  Speaker 1: You don't have to deal with that another reason to
• 2:48
  Speaker 1: another perk to not being married. I think, you know,
• 2:50
  Speaker 1: her family's got some ship to work out too, because
• 2:53
  Speaker 1: if somebody screaming at you about dishes two years later
• 2:55
  Speaker 1: they wanted something to be mad at you about, you
• 2:57
  Speaker 1: know what I mean. I think that's a really kind
• 2:59
  Speaker 1: of icky thing to do. If you're at someone's house
• 3:03
  Speaker 1: and you make a habit of nobody's supposed to ask
• 3:05
  Speaker 1: you to help at someone else's house. Like, it's not
• 3:08
  Speaker 1: the onus is not on them, jump in. You gotta
• 3:10
  Speaker 1: even I do it, and not even I, because like
• 3:13
  Speaker 1: I'm someone special, even I, who doesn't know how to
• 3:15
  Speaker 1: wash dishes, I shouldn't be washing dishes. It's worse when
• 3:18
  Speaker 1: I do it. Yeah, I always just get up and try. Yeah.
• 3:22
  Speaker 1: I try to make an effort because it's manners. I mean,
• 3:25
  Speaker 1: it's pretty basic. But people were up in arms about
• 3:27
  Speaker 1: jose Well. People were up in arms once when I
• 3:30
  Speaker 1: did some poll about toilet paper whether it should be
• 3:33
  Speaker 1: upside down coming from them or coming from the top
• 3:37
  Speaker 1: or I was on the Drew Barrymore Show and we
• 3:39
  Speaker 1: were doing something and it was the biggest thing. I mean,
• 3:42
  Speaker 1: there were like fifteen thousand comments about people's opinions. And
• 3:45
  Speaker 1: I finally figured out that I prefer because I had
• 3:49
  Speaker 1: never thought about it before, prefer it from the bottom.
• 3:52
  Speaker 1: You do. I don't want it from the top, Yeah,
• 3:55
  Speaker 1: you do. Interesting. We're just different in every way, Chelsea. Well, yeah,
• 3:59
  Speaker 1: so so far we have not found one similarity except
• 4:02
  Speaker 1: that we both are on this podcast. That's accurate. That's
• 4:05
  Speaker 1: what we have in common. Well, Chelsea, today we have
• 4:11
  Speaker 1: some really exciting guests. Okay, great, I can't wait. I
• 4:15
  Speaker 1: can't wait to find out who they are today. Where
• 4:18
  Speaker 1: you Yeah, we have my two Canadian mom friends, Cat
• 4:21
  Speaker 1: and Nat. These girls are too hot, fucking messes, and
• 4:25
  Speaker 1: I'm excited to have them on because their besties. And
• 4:28
  Speaker 1: then they tore around well, they tore around America too
• 4:32
  Speaker 1: and Canada and they both have a bunch of children
• 4:35
  Speaker 1: and they talk a lot about motherhood, parenting and I
• 4:39
  Speaker 1: don't know what who journed me on to them, but
• 4:41
  Speaker 1: we're buddies now. They have seven kids between them. That's
• 4:44
  Speaker 1: better than me having them. Are you guys ride sharing? Yeah?
• 4:50
  Speaker 1: We always. She doesn't drives a car and a license,
• 4:53
  Speaker 1: but you won't drive. I don't drive in the highway.
• 4:56
  Speaker 1: Just in the city. Only a few streets the city
• 4:59
  Speaker 1: or the suburb. No, we're in the city. I like
• 5:01
  Speaker 1: the city because it's short streets, lots of lights, like
• 5:04
  Speaker 1: everything is really fast and quick. But if you go
• 5:06
  Speaker 1: to suburbs, you have to take the highway. I don't
• 5:08
  Speaker 1: go there. Okay, this is Cat, I mean, this is sorry,
• 5:11
  Speaker 1: this is Catherine and this is Cat and this is no,
• 5:15
  Speaker 1: well wait you Nat, and that doesn't it doesn't matter. Yeah,
• 5:21
  Speaker 1: basically just called them both cats. We can all three
• 5:23
  Speaker 1: b cat today. When they meet us there say your
• 5:26
  Speaker 1: cat and not even if we're not together, Hi, oh,
• 5:29
  Speaker 1: I love you Cat, and that that's it. So it's literally,
• 5:32
  Speaker 1: it's it's totally fine. I mean, look at us would
• 5:35
  Speaker 1: be confused to I know it is. It is very
• 5:38
  Speaker 1: confusing because you guys do really look a lot alike,
• 5:42
  Speaker 1: but only from hanging out with you. I know that
• 5:44
  Speaker 1: Cat is more of like a busy body and Nat
• 5:48
  Speaker 1: is a little bit lazier. Yeah, not vertically, no, horizontally.
• 5:56
  Speaker 1: They don't want to They went on tour. Okay, let's
• 5:59
  Speaker 1: talk about the jet assist of you guys, so that
• 6:01
  Speaker 1: I want Katherin to be as familiar with me because
• 6:03
  Speaker 1: I don't even remember how I met you too. I
• 6:05
  Speaker 1: just know that we are friends now. But explain to Catherine,
• 6:10
  Speaker 1: explain the genesis of everything that you do do You
• 6:13
  Speaker 1: guys went on tour as mothers. Basically, right, you're talking
• 6:16
  Speaker 1: about motherhood all the time on your Instagram and how
• 6:20
  Speaker 1: nuts it is. First of all, it was a joke.
• 6:22
  Speaker 1: We decided to do a show as a joke because
• 6:26
  Speaker 1: no one invites us anywhere. So we were like, oh,
• 6:29
  Speaker 1: we'll make a party and we are first show you guys.
• 6:32
  Speaker 1: We threw for free gay, free drinks, and free appetizers
• 6:37
  Speaker 1: for everybody. We we we wanted to host a party.
• 6:40
  Speaker 1: We didn't pay for it. We found people to like
• 6:42
  Speaker 1: sponsor it. So we host a party in a theater
• 6:45
  Speaker 1: and then we go out to like go have a
• 6:47
  Speaker 1: cocktail party with everyone, and they mall like, we get mauled.
• 6:51
  Speaker 1: We were like, oh, we were just here to hang
• 6:53
  Speaker 1: out and we couldn't get through the crowd. The security
• 6:55
  Speaker 1: guard basically took us and pulled us back inside. I
• 6:58
  Speaker 1: was like, that's weird. That was weird, Like we just
• 7:00
  Speaker 1: seen an excuse to get away from the seven kids
• 7:03
  Speaker 1: and go and have a party. And for our party,
• 7:05
  Speaker 1: we wanted a DJ, we wanted strippers, who wanted flamingo dancers.
• 7:09
  Speaker 1: We wanted dancing, We want a drink in, we want
• 7:11
  Speaker 1: a champagne. So we just created a party and then
• 7:13
  Speaker 1: started selling tickets to it, and then our agents were like, Okay,
• 7:16
  Speaker 1: if you can sell out like three more theaters, we'll
• 7:19
  Speaker 1: talk about a tour. Okay, just kind of all came together.
• 7:22
  Speaker 1: We had a podcast and I don't know, I wrote
• 7:24
  Speaker 1: a couple of books and then Chelsea once like commented
• 7:27
  Speaker 1: on our Instagram and we died and and the people
• 7:30
  Speaker 1: were Texas. You see the Chelsea with oh my gods
• 7:33
  Speaker 1: that I don't want to actually talk to her like
• 7:35
  Speaker 1: I didn't want to. I'm like, don't say yes to
• 7:36
  Speaker 1: our podcast because that's pressure. And then because you're like
• 7:40
  Speaker 1: a real you're funny, we're funny and famous, were not
• 7:44
  Speaker 1: us her I closely And then it was more like
• 7:46
  Speaker 1: we're just ship shows and people liked that. And now
• 7:50
  Speaker 1: we've seen Chelsea three times this year. One we came
• 7:52
  Speaker 1: to your show in Toronto to you medicine, soho. Three
• 7:56
  Speaker 1: we're seeing you right now. Where do you guys live?
• 7:58
  Speaker 1: And you live into so so everyone knows they're Canadian
• 8:02
  Speaker 1: but they tore in America. So what was your agent
• 8:05
  Speaker 1: for before you decided to start? How did you even
• 8:07
  Speaker 1: have an agent? She emailed every w and just said,
• 8:11
  Speaker 1: you know what we're heading at and we we need
• 8:14
  Speaker 1: someone to help us with deals and they said yes.
• 8:16
  Speaker 1: It was so weird, but we did. We were doing
• 8:18
  Speaker 1: like we were doing videos. We were doing the mom
• 8:20
  Speaker 1: shoots videos and those were videos in the car just
• 8:23
  Speaker 1: like talking about what it's like to be a mom.
• 8:25
  Speaker 1: We were doing what else do we do? But not
• 8:27
  Speaker 1: glorifying what it's like to be a mom. They tell
• 8:30
  Speaker 1: how hard it is to be a mom, just how
• 8:32
  Speaker 1: demanding it is and all the disappointments, and that you're
• 8:34
  Speaker 1: not gonna win all the time, and there's gonna be
• 8:36
  Speaker 1: a lot of failures and you're gonna feel like a
• 8:38
  Speaker 1: failure and that all of that is fine. Yeah, and
• 8:40
  Speaker 1: that's exactly how we felt when we first had our babies.
• 8:43
  Speaker 1: We were just like we thought this was going to
• 8:44
  Speaker 1: be so beautiful and it's actually not, and nobody's talking
• 8:47
  Speaker 1: about it. So let's just start doing some videos. Because
• 8:50
  Speaker 1: a lot of moms were like blogging at the time,
• 8:51
  Speaker 1: and we weren't going to sit down and write, so
• 8:53
  Speaker 1: we did videos. No one was doing videos. Social media
• 8:55
  Speaker 1: wasn't really a thing. And then everything just came at
• 8:58
  Speaker 1: the same time. Like we had been doing live streaming
• 8:59
  Speaker 1: through you do in the Facebook Live games, so we
• 9:01
  Speaker 1: turned it to Facebook Live. It's been a lot of
• 9:04
  Speaker 1: like chance and opportunity and saying yes, you know, we
• 9:07
  Speaker 1: were We went to a conference that we had really
• 9:09
  Speaker 1: no idea. We just kind of decided to go. And
• 9:12
  Speaker 1: the Today Show was there and the two producers they
• 9:15
  Speaker 1: found us walking in the hallway and they asked us
• 9:17
  Speaker 1: a question and then they were like, wait, will you
• 9:19
  Speaker 1: two come with us here? Yeah? Sure, and then we
• 9:22
  Speaker 1: just went with them. And then it's actually been a
• 9:24
  Speaker 1: lot of women who because we really are naive and
• 9:27
  Speaker 1: in this world of what we've been doing, and it's
• 9:30
  Speaker 1: really been women like you, Chelsea and like the Today's Show,
• 9:34
  Speaker 1: and people have just said like yes, and they've they've
• 9:36
  Speaker 1: just helped us. And you know, when you open a door,
• 9:39
  Speaker 1: like even when you comment, that's what people see and
• 9:42
  Speaker 1: they're like, oh, she's looking at them. That means that
• 9:45
  Speaker 1: they're worthy of me looking at them. Unfortunately, it's sort
• 9:48
  Speaker 1: of the way it looks. And even when you don't
• 9:50
  Speaker 1: think you're opening doors, kindness goes so far and you,
• 9:54
  Speaker 1: you personally have opened a ton of doors for us,
• 9:56
  Speaker 1: and we know people say yes because you've said yes.
• 9:58
  Speaker 1: So I just think, you know, I see like Amy
• 10:00
  Speaker 1: Schumern now comments and bows us, and I'm pretty sure
• 10:03
  Speaker 1: that that's probably because she saw you. You know what
• 10:05
  Speaker 1: I mean that you did so that she kind of
• 10:07
  Speaker 1: took notice enough. I just think a lot of women
• 10:09
  Speaker 1: have been so impactful in ways they don't know for us,
• 10:12
  Speaker 1: because it's really a lot of yeses. That's all we've
• 10:15
  Speaker 1: really done and stumbled and failed and gotten up, and
• 10:18
  Speaker 1: some shows are do shit and terrible and you're like, oh,
• 10:22
  Speaker 1: that's not my demo. But you can't let that hurt
• 10:24
  Speaker 1: your ego because we don't knock it out of every city.
• 10:27
  Speaker 1: But we figure out, we regroup, and we go back
• 10:29
  Speaker 1: to the place. You know what I mean. It's always
• 10:32
  Speaker 1: reverse correct, reverse crackt. It's kind of like that. And
• 10:34
  Speaker 1: what would you say that you feel like, thus far,
• 10:36
  Speaker 1: your biggest impact has been for other mothers. I think
• 10:40
  Speaker 1: it's like for women too. You know, we have a
• 10:42
  Speaker 1: lot of young people who follow us, like fifteen year
• 10:44
  Speaker 1: old fourteen year old to wait in the parking lot
• 10:47
  Speaker 1: after the show and sneaking to our shows to come
• 10:51
  Speaker 1: see us. And I think that right now it's our
• 10:53
  Speaker 1: friendship for a lot of people that brings some hope
• 10:55
  Speaker 1: and that they find comfort in our friendship even more
• 10:59
  Speaker 1: than motherhood. Oh yeah, that's true, because that's Honestly, that's
• 11:01
  Speaker 1: what attracted to me, to you, to the bestie vibe.
• 11:04
  Speaker 1: I always love a bestie dynamic, and I feel like
• 11:07
  Speaker 1: we funk up constantly, but we pick each other up
• 11:09
  Speaker 1: and it's because we maybe each other we can do
• 11:11
  Speaker 1: what we do, and I think that our friendship is
• 11:13
  Speaker 1: really and the young people are on TikTok, like if
• 11:15
  Speaker 1: this isn't awesome, older than I don't think, I don't
• 11:18
  Speaker 1: want to be love that. Yeah, so it's sort of
• 11:21
  Speaker 1: this weird. You know, you don't have to give up
• 11:23
  Speaker 1: your best friend because you're an adult, and I think
• 11:25
  Speaker 1: that's what a lot of people think, you have to
• 11:27
  Speaker 1: grow up and lose your friendship. No, you just have
• 11:29
  Speaker 1: to time your babies and families together so that you're
• 11:31
  Speaker 1: both on the same track. Because I was asking about
• 11:34
  Speaker 1: their other friendships independent of their own, because you both
• 11:36
  Speaker 1: have separate groups of friends that don't necessarily cross over
• 11:40
  Speaker 1: to your cat or NAT. Right, Yeah, that's right. Yeah,
• 11:43
  Speaker 1: we have separate friendships. We for sure planned a bunch
• 11:46
  Speaker 1: of them that like we're like, don't you can't pull out,
• 11:48
  Speaker 1: you know what I mean, Like you're not pulling for you,
• 11:50
  Speaker 1: but it's like you are stand in there. We planned
• 11:53
  Speaker 1: the babies before our husbands had any idea what was happening.
• 11:55
  Speaker 1: It's almost like your husbands are both just so inconsequential
• 11:59
  Speaker 1: in this dynamic. It's you know, I feel sad for them,
• 12:02
  Speaker 1: but I also feel like it's you know, good. They travel,
• 12:05
  Speaker 1: they take care of the kids, they're they're one. Yeah,
• 12:08
  Speaker 1: let's pick up time right now, and they check off
• 12:10
  Speaker 1: they're not working so they can pick up the kids.
• 12:12
  Speaker 1: So they are also a huge reason. They support our
• 12:15
  Speaker 1: friendship and what we do, so we are very They're
• 12:17
  Speaker 1: not just sperm, you know what I mean? Okay, well, sure, sure,
• 12:21
  Speaker 1: we'll agree on that. Also, they travel on a tour
• 12:24
  Speaker 1: bus and they don't sleep in the same bed because
• 12:27
  Speaker 1: they don't they're not down with that. But that's more
• 12:30
  Speaker 1: not than cat right from what I remember. Would you
• 12:32
  Speaker 1: too sleep together? I'm sleep in a bed with anybody.
• 12:35
  Speaker 1: I have no problems. I mean, I prefer not if
• 12:38
  Speaker 1: we're sleeping together. You won't this one over here. Fuck,
• 12:42
  Speaker 1: you're gonna snubble me. I one friend, I have one
• 12:45
  Speaker 1: friend who always wants to sleep holding hands. So I
• 12:47
  Speaker 1: had to kick her out of I go. You know what,
• 12:49
  Speaker 1: I'm not holding hands with you all that I was
• 12:51
  Speaker 1: down to sleep with you. She stepped over my house
• 12:53
  Speaker 1: the other night and we woke up in the morning
• 12:54
  Speaker 1: and there's plenty of rooms for her to sleep in.
• 12:56
  Speaker 1: And she got up in the morning and she goes,
• 12:58
  Speaker 1: I didn't touch you. I didn't touch you. I'm like, yeah,
• 13:00
  Speaker 1: that's what the fund is supposed to happen. Can't sleep
• 13:03
  Speaker 1: for me if you're gonna sucking hold my hand, you're
• 13:06
  Speaker 1: not my boyfriend, you know. Well, honestly, we always say,
• 13:09
  Speaker 1: like we have tried to teach these seven kids to
• 13:12
  Speaker 1: sleep independently on their own, and then finally they learned
• 13:14
  Speaker 1: how to sleep on their own, and then you get
• 13:16
  Speaker 1: your relationship, and now you're just supposed to share a
• 13:18
  Speaker 1: bed again, Like it just doesn't make sense for the
• 13:20
  Speaker 1: way that we have learned how to sleep. So yeah,
• 13:22
  Speaker 1: I mean she doesn't too. We build a wall between
• 13:24
  Speaker 1: our husbands and pillows, and I don't want like maybe
• 13:27
  Speaker 1: his feet might creep over like a hand my cream over,
• 13:30
  Speaker 1: but that's not gonna happen between the two of us
• 13:32
  Speaker 1: independent sleeping, like like if I can have my own bed,
• 13:35
  Speaker 1: I haven't had in my own bed in a long time,
• 13:36
  Speaker 1: Like someone's in you, on you or wants to get
• 13:39
  Speaker 1: in you at all times. So you're like when you
• 13:41
  Speaker 1: get your own bed, it's like that's amazing, sheer heaven.
• 13:44
  Speaker 1: So you want like Lucy and Ricky style, like two
• 13:46
  Speaker 1: beds in the bedroom. So sometimes people will fly us
• 13:49
  Speaker 1: out and we'll get us two rooms, and then we
• 13:52
  Speaker 1: get to the hotel where like, can we only use
• 13:54
  Speaker 1: one room with two beds? But can we change that?
• 13:57
  Speaker 1: Came to two queens. That's the ultimate for all sleeping
• 14:00
  Speaker 1: is to be in the same room or the same
• 14:02
  Speaker 1: house with a big group. But everyone has their own privacy. Katherine,
• 14:06
  Speaker 1: why did Lucy and Rickie sleep in separate beds? Well,
• 14:09
  Speaker 1: I think it wasn't allowed for them to have one bed.
• 14:11
  Speaker 1: Well that was in that time era, like people did that,
• 14:15
  Speaker 1: people had separate sleeping arrangements. I'm not sure. I guess
• 14:19
  Speaker 1: why did that change? I'm not sure they were married, right, yeah, yeah, yeah,
• 14:24
  Speaker 1: they made little Ricky because they were freaking smarter than us,
• 14:27
  Speaker 1: I guess. I mean that's what that's what needs to
• 14:29
  Speaker 1: come back in style if it should be retroactive. I
• 14:32
  Speaker 1: think everyone who has a child, I don't even have
• 14:34
  Speaker 1: a child, and I feel that way. But anyone who
• 14:36
  Speaker 1: was a child is definitely on board for separate beds. Yeah, yeah,
• 14:41
  Speaker 1: I want them too, but they even reject me. They
• 14:43
  Speaker 1: don't want to say in the bed all night, I
• 14:45
  Speaker 1: have to leave the little doggy steps. So Bernice will
• 14:47
  Speaker 1: like humor me. She's like, oh, here we go. You know,
• 14:49
  Speaker 1: she thinks I'm like assaulting her, so she goes to
• 14:52
  Speaker 1: her safe spot while I assault her, and then I
• 14:54
  Speaker 1: put her under the covers like like we're gonna do it.
• 14:57
  Speaker 1: And I noticed that if I have the confidence of
• 14:59
  Speaker 1: her not leaving, she will remain. It's when I look
• 15:02
  Speaker 1: at her and like, you know, and I'm worried about
• 15:05
  Speaker 1: her leaving. Is when she leaves so she can y Yeah.
• 15:10
  Speaker 1: And bern has basically turned into some sort of limp biscuit,
• 15:13
  Speaker 1: so I can't. He's not getting into my bed because
• 15:15
  Speaker 1: he's frail now, so I have to respect that, even
• 15:20
  Speaker 1: though he's probably got that way from my abuse. Anyway.
• 15:23
  Speaker 1: So let's talk a little bit about your friendship. Okay,
• 15:25
  Speaker 1: we've talked about it before when you guys interviewed me,
• 15:27
  Speaker 1: but I think it's inspiring for a lot of people
• 15:29
  Speaker 1: that will be listening. How your friendship works, and what
• 15:32
  Speaker 1: the benefits to each of your lives are by having
• 15:35
  Speaker 1: such a close, fun, work friend relationship cat, why don't
• 15:39
  Speaker 1: you start? I think for us it will Number one.
• 15:41
  Speaker 1: It allows you to take sort of more risks because
• 15:44
  Speaker 1: when there's two of you losing and failing, it's a lot,
• 15:46
  Speaker 1: it's funnier, and it's a lot easier than when it's
• 15:48
  Speaker 1: one of you. And I think that when you're both
• 15:51
  Speaker 1: in it together, there's no everything feels fun that we do.
• 15:55
  Speaker 1: There's nothing. We could be on a delay on an
• 15:58
  Speaker 1: airplane for twelve hours and it's fun. Need like, there's
• 16:01
  Speaker 1: it just the stakes just feel different because everything's kind
• 16:05
  Speaker 1: of a joke, and in a way that when parenting
• 16:08
  Speaker 1: is going to ship, we call each other and thank god,
• 16:10
  Speaker 1: it often doesn't go to ship at the same time,
• 16:12
  Speaker 1: or when your relationship is not great and you always
• 16:14
  Speaker 1: have someone to share everything with because there's you're so
• 16:17
  Speaker 1: intimate with them, but you don't have sex with them
• 16:19
  Speaker 1: that it's like this weird. We're not transactional. We're so
• 16:24
  Speaker 1: tight that when you know when someone's going through something,
• 16:26
  Speaker 1: they don't have to say it. The other one can
• 16:28
  Speaker 1: just pick up the works lack knowing that that one
• 16:31
  Speaker 1: needs that and vice versa. So it's this weird. I
• 16:34
  Speaker 1: think we get double done because there's two of us
• 16:37
  Speaker 1: versus one of us, and there's no If we failed
• 16:40
  Speaker 1: and lost everything tomorrow, I would be okay because our
• 16:44
  Speaker 1: ride has been so much fun and we would still
• 16:46
  Speaker 1: have each other and we probably figure out something else
• 16:49
  Speaker 1: to do in a different capacity. But this wouldn't change.
• 16:53
  Speaker 1: And I think that's the coolest thing about our friendship.
• 16:55
  Speaker 1: It's friendship first and then fun and then work. Yeah,
• 17:00
  Speaker 1: what about you? I want you to speak. This is
• 17:02
  Speaker 1: gonna be hard for her. She doesn't do you feeling.
• 17:04
  Speaker 1: I know that's why you're going. Second, she got inspired.
• 17:06
  Speaker 1: She told me recently why I love her. We were
• 17:09
  Speaker 1: on a plane and we were talking about love and
• 17:10
  Speaker 1: what love is and why she loves me and I
• 17:13
  Speaker 1: love her, and she basically told me I love her
• 17:16
  Speaker 1: because she does things for me like drive me around
• 17:18
  Speaker 1: and like she says, her plane tickets ever her life.
• 17:23
  Speaker 1: But I was like, I think it's more than that.
• 17:25
  Speaker 1: But maybe maybe that's all it is. It's been fourteen
• 17:28
  Speaker 1: years of being moms together and there has been so
• 17:30
  Speaker 1: many hard times. It hasn't all been like Keen, We've
• 17:34
  Speaker 1: had a post part of anxiety, we've had sickness, we've
• 17:37
  Speaker 1: had so many things. But being able to rely on
• 17:39
  Speaker 1: your friend too, like she said, pick up, pick up
• 17:41
  Speaker 1: when the other one can't. But also, like my kids
• 17:44
  Speaker 1: say to me, you are so lucky. You get to
• 17:46
  Speaker 1: go to work every day with your best friend and
• 17:49
  Speaker 1: there's no boss. Right, we're equal bosses, so we don't
• 17:52
  Speaker 1: have to go into work, have a boss, go to
• 17:54
  Speaker 1: work all day with a bunch of like weirdos or strangers.
• 17:57
  Speaker 1: It's just us and everything we get to do fun.
• 17:59
  Speaker 1: I do were my them that what we do is work,
• 18:01
  Speaker 1: and we work hard together, but we worked together really
• 18:03
  Speaker 1: well because we know each other so well. But yeah,
• 18:05
  Speaker 1: we get to just have fun. And also it's really
• 18:08
  Speaker 1: great that our children get to have sort of like
• 18:10
  Speaker 1: a second mother, so that when um, like our sibling,
• 18:14
  Speaker 1: our seventh which is my baby, my babies and seventh.
• 18:16
  Speaker 1: But our seventh is so ferocious because she's had to
• 18:20
  Speaker 1: have like seven above her, like she's grown up with
• 18:22
  Speaker 1: six siblings. Essentially she's ferocious. I'm the youngest of six,
• 18:26
  Speaker 1: so I know exactly what you're talking. Ferocious are two
• 18:29
  Speaker 1: babies are ferocious, and I just think they're so lucky
• 18:33
  Speaker 1: that they always have a built in tribe. Like you know,
• 18:36
  Speaker 1: I'm sure you feel it, like when you have a
• 18:37
  Speaker 1: lot of people around you, it's like this built in
• 18:39
  Speaker 1: little thing that yet bumpers around shoes. And we take
• 18:41
  Speaker 1: them on vacation together, and we spend summers together. And
• 18:44
  Speaker 1: you had forced them all today, asked walking on the plane.
• 18:47
  Speaker 1: Eleven of us, seven children and the two of us
• 18:49
  Speaker 1: walking onto a plane. Everyone's like, my daughter has billed
• 18:52
  Speaker 1: a hot cup of noodles on two different men on
• 18:56
  Speaker 1: two different plane. Rights the pants. Oh god, oh how humiliating.
• 19:01
  Speaker 1: She offered him candy as like an apology, and we
• 19:04
  Speaker 1: left the two girls like mom, We still like, I
• 19:06
  Speaker 1: don't know who you are. You deal with this man,
• 19:07
  Speaker 1: and that's when you fan out, fan out and get
• 19:10
  Speaker 1: away from your children. You don't want to be seen
• 19:12
  Speaker 1: with them. And do you guys have similar parenting styles?
• 19:15
  Speaker 1: Are you guys like agree on the way you parent
• 19:17
  Speaker 1: or are you do differ in that way? We like
• 19:19
  Speaker 1: parent each other's children differently, like her kids will come
• 19:23
  Speaker 1: to me for some things, and my kids will go
• 19:25
  Speaker 1: to her for things, like we definitely have different personalities.
• 19:28
  Speaker 1: Are our mother's mothered us differently, but overall I respect
• 19:33
  Speaker 1: totally the way that she does it, and she respects
• 19:35
  Speaker 1: the way that I do it. We go to each
• 19:37
  Speaker 1: other for different advices, like she has experts and I
• 19:39
  Speaker 1: have expertise, and then we blend and what do you
• 19:42
  Speaker 1: think your strong suit is? Your strong parenting suit is got?
• 19:46
  Speaker 1: Oh god, that's so serious. You know. I'm like the talker.
• 19:49
  Speaker 1: So they'll call me, like yesterday, she's like, Mom, we're
• 19:51
  Speaker 1: going through some anxiety. Can you walk us through these
• 19:54
  Speaker 1: feelings that we're in the car and your kids in
• 19:55
  Speaker 1: the car. I'm like, yeah, let's go, you're gonna go.
• 19:58
  Speaker 1: I'm like, I don't know where we go when we die,
• 20:00
  Speaker 1: Like I do the sex like I'm a sex conversation.
• 20:04
  Speaker 1: I land the plane, you know. I'm like, if you
• 20:06
  Speaker 1: don't know about a bone or bike grade two, we're screwed.
• 20:08
  Speaker 1: So like I'm like phone or penis vagina. People do
• 20:11
  Speaker 1: it for fun and for babies, we sit them all
• 20:14
  Speaker 1: down and lay it out and not as strong suit is.
• 20:18
  Speaker 1: She's the one that's like, let's get up on the
• 20:19
  Speaker 1: couch and the tables and dance. We bring the fun,
• 20:23
  Speaker 1: and I'm the combo. She's the person who's like the
• 20:26
  Speaker 1: party starter, like always yes, can we have a bag
• 20:29
  Speaker 1: of candy? Yes? Can we go here? Yes? Yeah? But
• 20:32
  Speaker 1: I'm not I'm not there to talk talk about now.
• 20:34
  Speaker 1: They'll all call me and I'm like, let's talk okay.
• 20:36
  Speaker 1: I see, I see, yeah, I understand that I get
• 20:39
  Speaker 1: that from you too. And then I have to because
• 20:42
  Speaker 1: we share a bank account and a credit card, so
• 20:44
  Speaker 1: we all all of our money goes into one account,
• 20:46
  Speaker 1: the two of us. You are married, you guy, you
• 20:52
  Speaker 1: guys coming your funds, yes, but like we have other
• 20:57
  Speaker 1: like the funds with the husbands and that's where everything's
• 20:59
  Speaker 1: in now. And look at the budget but with us
• 21:01
  Speaker 1: that we didn't even know for the first few years
• 21:03
  Speaker 1: and get to pay taxes. We had the most amazing
• 21:05
  Speaker 1: first couple of years until we found out about all
• 21:09
  Speaker 1: that they're based like you're broke and you start fresh
• 21:11
  Speaker 1: and we're like shit, but we always just like we
• 21:14
  Speaker 1: like to spend. You want something, I'm like, let's go
• 21:16
  Speaker 1: get it, and then we just go buy it out
• 21:18
  Speaker 1: of the time. Oh my god, I love that you
• 21:20
  Speaker 1: have a bank account together. That is so ridiculous. We
• 21:23
  Speaker 1: changed our wedding and our engagement rings two different styles
• 21:27
  Speaker 1: together with I just told you ten minutes ago that
• 21:31
  Speaker 1: your husband's are inconsequential, and you disagree with me, and
• 21:34
  Speaker 1: you're just proving my point. Everything you're saying is supporting
• 21:37
  Speaker 1: what I said ten minutes earlier. So yeah, they're very valuable.
• 21:41
  Speaker 1: Thank God for those two. Thank God for them. Well,
• 21:45
  Speaker 1: we tried to curate your episode today, ladies. Catherine is
• 21:49
  Speaker 1: very good at curating towards you know, the guests that
• 21:51
  Speaker 1: we have on to the callers, so that you're gonna
• 21:54
  Speaker 1: be of some help. Since I know that Nat isn't
• 21:57
  Speaker 1: to talk therapy and she's gonna be valuable. Yeah, not
• 22:02
  Speaker 1: will not go to therapy, but you probably stall have
• 22:04
  Speaker 1: some good advice that you can sell a social worker
• 22:07
  Speaker 1: pre you were not social worker before you. Yes, well,
• 22:16
  Speaker 1: we're going to take a quick break and then we'll
• 22:18
  Speaker 1: be back and we'll take some collars and some emails. Okay,
• 22:20
  Speaker 1: we're taking a break and we're back. We're back, we're back. Well.
• 22:29
  Speaker 1: Our first email comes from a mom who is going
• 22:33
  Speaker 1: by tired a f Dear Chelsea, I'm a twenty six
• 22:37
  Speaker 1: year old mom of four, two of which I had
• 22:40
  Speaker 1: eight months ago. Twin girls. One of them is so chill,
• 22:45
  Speaker 1: only cries when she needs something, and an all around
• 22:48
  Speaker 1: normal baby. The other one is exhausting. In her defense,
• 22:52
  Speaker 1: she does have colics, some stomach problems, and she's currently teething,
• 22:56
  Speaker 1: but she literally never stops crying. Since a day she
• 23:00
  Speaker 1: was born, She's crying of every day. I have a
• 23:03
  Speaker 1: four year old and a two year old who also
• 23:06
  Speaker 1: do their fair share of crying, and it gets to me.
• 23:09
  Speaker 1: I find myself thinking about how nice it would be
• 23:11
  Speaker 1: if she could be more like her twin sister. She's
• 23:13
  Speaker 1: the easiest baby I've ever cared for, and I'm the
• 23:16
  Speaker 1: oldest of ten, so I've had my fair share of
• 23:18
  Speaker 1: experiences with babies. My question to you is, how do
• 23:22
  Speaker 1: I not play favorites with the twins when they're so
• 23:24
  Speaker 1: obviously is one? I of course love them both equally,
• 23:27
  Speaker 1: but let's be honest. I'm scared this might carry into
• 23:30
  Speaker 1: the future and become a problem when they get older
• 23:32
  Speaker 1: and start to realize the vibe. But it's so hard
• 23:35
  Speaker 1: to keep it together with everything going on. What do
• 23:39
  Speaker 1: I do about having a favorite? Sincerely tired a f
• 23:43
  Speaker 1: I I can't even believe that she had the time
• 23:46
  Speaker 1: to write that, like that sounds like such a ship
• 23:49
  Speaker 1: show over there. I mean, she's twenty six years old,
• 23:52
  Speaker 1: Like the brain just thought fully developed a year ago.
• 23:56
  Speaker 1: That just now, that is crazy. And the only thing
• 23:58
  Speaker 1: I can think of is I have four as well.
• 24:00
  Speaker 1: I did not have four kids at twenty six. I
• 24:02
  Speaker 1: did not have nine siblings. But there is times in
• 24:07
  Speaker 1: the cycle of our children that there is a favorite.
• 24:09
  Speaker 1: And absolutely that quiet baby is going to be the
• 24:11
  Speaker 1: favorite because it's giving the least problems. But my quietest
• 24:15
  Speaker 1: ones a year later are the hardest ones. And people
• 24:18
  Speaker 1: always ask us, do you have a favorite? I'm like,
• 24:21
  Speaker 1: it depends on the day. So I'm pretty sure that
• 24:24
  Speaker 1: quiet little one isn't going to be your favorite forever.
• 24:26
  Speaker 1: That one's terrible teenager, that one's going to come out
• 24:29
  Speaker 1: of nowhere. You never get nothing, nothing scott free, No
• 24:32
  Speaker 1: one's good for life. You know you're quiet baby is
• 24:35
  Speaker 1: going to be a pregnant, pregnant drug addict by fourteen. Yeah,
• 24:38
  Speaker 1: And so enjoy the time that you have them as
• 24:41
  Speaker 1: your favorite. Because I've talked to a lot of men
• 24:43
  Speaker 1: about this, because I know women's answer is pretty kind
• 24:46
  Speaker 1: of what you guys are saying, I always get an
• 24:47
  Speaker 1: interesting answer. Men have consistently said, whichever child needs me
• 24:51
  Speaker 1: the most is their favorite, and that changes all the
• 24:54
  Speaker 1: time too, so it's kind of like the opposite of
• 24:57
  Speaker 1: what this woman is going through. So I think I
• 24:59
  Speaker 1: don't think it's a new sure to have a favorite.
• 25:00
  Speaker 1: My mom said the same thing all the time. It's
• 25:02
  Speaker 1: just like, depends on what day of the week you
• 25:04
  Speaker 1: ask me. Yeah, and whoever's the easiest to deal with
• 25:07
  Speaker 1: is obviously, so don't feel guilty about that. You're not
• 25:10
  Speaker 1: alone at all. And just you know, I'm just thinking
• 25:14
  Speaker 1: about Kat's family and my family, and we both know
• 25:17
  Speaker 1: who our mom's favorite is and it's not it's your brother. Yeah,
• 25:21
  Speaker 1: I guess, And I'm fine with that. And she does.
• 25:25
  Speaker 1: Natalie here does happen to have one child blown up
• 25:28
  Speaker 1: in giant life like giant on the wall for many years,
• 25:32
  Speaker 1: just one of them. And she has four kids, but
• 25:34
  Speaker 1: one made the wall. He's so big, he's honestly the
• 25:36
  Speaker 1: most photochemic. So it was you she walked in. It
• 25:39
  Speaker 1: was a portrait of him, and everyone's like, isn't that wrong?
• 25:42
  Speaker 1: And I'm like, listen, we had a photo shoot and
• 25:44
  Speaker 1: one kid nailed it. He has a huge picture on
• 25:47
  Speaker 1: the wall. It Yeah, good luck next time. Did that's funny?
• 25:53
  Speaker 1: I always say that's my family. I'm like, it's just
• 25:55
  Speaker 1: because I'm the best looking one, you guys, I mean,
• 25:56
  Speaker 1: that's why everything's working out the way it has. I'm like,
• 25:59
  Speaker 1: this world is about this world about looks, and I
• 26:02
  Speaker 1: got him so back up, and that's how she feels
• 26:06
  Speaker 1: to Oh my gosh. Although he is a little on
• 26:09
  Speaker 1: the short side compared to everybody else, so he needed
• 26:13
  Speaker 1: the wall. If you will wear so yeah, I like
• 26:16
  Speaker 1: all the reasoning behind the big picture on the wall.
• 26:18
  Speaker 1: So far, I'm totally on board with this. And that's
• 26:23
  Speaker 1: actually a good way to keep kids in check. If
• 26:24
  Speaker 1: you have three or more, totally blow one up and
• 26:26
  Speaker 1: put it on the wall and be like, guess who
• 26:28
  Speaker 1: the favorite of the month is. Everybody needs to step
• 26:30
  Speaker 1: their fucking game up. Oh my gosh, you are on,
• 26:34
  Speaker 1: You are onto something favorite of It's like the employee
• 26:37
  Speaker 1: of the month. You never needs incentivization children. You know
• 26:41
  Speaker 1: how when you went to sleep away camp. I went
• 26:43
  Speaker 1: to the sleepaway camp. Well, no, my parents couldn't afford
• 26:45
  Speaker 1: sleepway camp, so they sent me to this day camp
• 26:47
  Speaker 1: and every day as somebody would get like best swimmer
• 26:50
  Speaker 1: or best finger blaster or whatever you do. And it
• 26:54
  Speaker 1: felt even though I saw everyone every day get an
• 26:57
  Speaker 1: award as a kid, it felt so good it to
• 27:00
  Speaker 1: get the A word, you know, it feels so good.
• 27:02
  Speaker 1: And that's I mean, who doesn't like that that Pavlovian
• 27:05
  Speaker 1: you know response and word. So yeah, I think everybody
• 27:09
  Speaker 1: listening I just gave you. I mean, it just came out,
• 27:11
  Speaker 1: and I think it's awesome. Yeah, it's a great way
• 27:13
  Speaker 1: to take everybody together. Yeah. And if you have braces,
• 27:16
  Speaker 1: you just have to wait to get those off to
• 27:18
  Speaker 1: hit the wall. No, I think I disagree that. I disagree.
• 27:22
  Speaker 1: I think sometimes had kids with braces are the best
• 27:24
  Speaker 1: and they should be given their due right, not based
• 27:27
  Speaker 1: It shouldn't be based on looks. It should be based
• 27:29
  Speaker 1: on who's the best kid that month, who had the
• 27:31
  Speaker 1: best behavior you know what I mean, or best grades
• 27:35
  Speaker 1: or whatever however you want to categorize. It is up
• 27:37
  Speaker 1: to you. Yeah, I love it. And then when they're
• 27:39
  Speaker 1: teenagers and they hate you and they're embarrassed by everything,
• 27:42
  Speaker 1: you put their picture on the wall until they're good.
• 27:45
  Speaker 1: And then you can take it down. Oh my gosh,
• 27:47
  Speaker 1: I love that humiliation. I mean, there's probably gonna be
• 27:50
  Speaker 1: an age where they don't want their picture on the wall.
• 27:52
  Speaker 1: So then you have to like restrategize, you know, then
• 27:56
  Speaker 1: you put yourself up, you put a nude up, you know,
• 27:58
  Speaker 1: don't you do embarrassed? Yeah? Go up? You know mommy
• 28:03
  Speaker 1: and daddy? Yeah, or you just make it. Yeah, that's
• 28:06
  Speaker 1: good to threaten them with. Like you're going to do
• 28:08
  Speaker 1: a lot of public displays of affection with your husband.
• 28:11
  Speaker 1: That's also a good threat. Yeah, write that book hot
• 28:15
  Speaker 1: parenting Tips. So our next caller and they're gonna be
• 28:22
  Speaker 1: on a zoom. So girls, okay, be ready. It's a
• 28:25
  Speaker 1: little juicy, Veronica says, Dear Chelsea, the situation I'm in
• 28:30
  Speaker 1: is quite a doozy. For the last six months, I
• 28:32
  Speaker 1: was really unhappy in my relationship of five years, and
• 28:35
  Speaker 1: after talking to my therapist a few months ago, I
• 28:38
  Speaker 1: decided that it would be best to end the relationship.
• 28:40
  Speaker 1: As I started emotionally checking out, I started flirting with
• 28:44
  Speaker 1: his cousin that also happened to be our roommate. For reference,
• 28:47
  Speaker 1: I'm twenty five, my access and his cousin is twenty nine.
• 28:52
  Speaker 1: The three of us were very close and would do
• 28:53
  Speaker 1: a lot together, and I saw the cousin as a
• 28:56
  Speaker 1: really good friend. After flirting, sneaking some kisses, and can
• 29:00
  Speaker 1: fessing love to each other at the house, I couldn't
• 29:03
  Speaker 1: take the guilt and ended my relationship, then promptly moved out.
• 29:07
  Speaker 1: After giving myself some time to adjust and making sure
• 29:09
  Speaker 1: my feelings for his cousin were real, we decided to
• 29:12
  Speaker 1: start seeing each other. Things were going really well, but
• 29:16
  Speaker 1: now he's started to get very upset about how much
• 29:18
  Speaker 1: this would hurt his cousin and how he hates having
• 29:21
  Speaker 1: to keep our relationship a secret. I've told him multiple
• 29:24
  Speaker 1: times that you can't help who you fall for and
• 29:26
  Speaker 1: that together we can make it work, But I still
• 29:29
  Speaker 1: have the fear that this is all going to blow up.
• 29:31
  Speaker 1: I don't know if just coming clean about everything would
• 29:34
  Speaker 1: be a good idea, or if we should wait a
• 29:36
  Speaker 1: few more months to give their family more time to
• 29:38
  Speaker 1: get over the breakup. My biggest concern is his family
• 29:41
  Speaker 1: hating him and exiling him over me. But I'm truly
• 29:44
  Speaker 1: so in love with him, and if he says we
• 29:46
  Speaker 1: can make it work, I want to believe him help.
• 29:48
  Speaker 1: I don't even know where to start. Veronica, Hi, Dare, Hi, Hi, Hi?
• 29:56
  Speaker 1: How are you guys? Good? Our special guest today, our
• 29:58
  Speaker 1: cat and Nat and so they're here today, and you
• 30:01
  Speaker 1: have Katherine, so you have four of us. Yes, I
• 30:04
  Speaker 1: need all the advice I can get. I know, I
• 30:07
  Speaker 1: know you do need advice. So you were dating your
• 30:11
  Speaker 1: previous boyfriend for how long? Five years? And you've been
• 30:15
  Speaker 1: broken up for how long? Going on? Close to ten
• 30:18
  Speaker 1: months now? Okay, so this is gonna be a problem
• 30:22
  Speaker 1: for a lot of people. Yeah, yeah, so I get it.
• 30:26
  Speaker 1: I mean it's pretty tricky. Their family is going to
• 30:30
  Speaker 1: be upset. Somebody is going to be upset, I think.
• 30:33
  Speaker 1: So yeah, I would say that's a snake bet. And
• 30:36
  Speaker 1: is your boyfriend your current boyfriend, who is your ex
• 30:39
  Speaker 1: boyfriend's cousin? Is he contemplating your relationship at all? Or
• 30:44
  Speaker 1: is he committed? No, he's committed. Okay, so you're both done.
• 30:50
  Speaker 1: You're going to be together, and you're going to tell
• 30:52
  Speaker 1: his family at some point, right, it's just a matter
• 30:55
  Speaker 1: of when. Okay, Well, I guess I'll go first, and
• 30:59
  Speaker 1: then you girls to hop on and give your opinion.
• 31:02
  Speaker 1: I would just say the sooner you come clean, the
• 31:05
  Speaker 1: sooner everybody can acclimate to the new situation, and the
• 31:09
  Speaker 1: sooner everybody has to stop hiding. But be prepared for
• 31:13
  Speaker 1: a big thunderstorm that's gonna last for a long time,
• 31:17
  Speaker 1: possibly potentially, But I think you should probably try and
• 31:21
  Speaker 1: get the truth out sooner than later, and then you know,
• 31:24
  Speaker 1: the sooner everyone can get over it. Yeah, and it
• 31:28
  Speaker 1: shouldn't be you, yeah, boyfriend, it should be your Yeah,
• 31:33
  Speaker 1: you should be your boyfriend. I don't know who should
• 31:36
  Speaker 1: tell the boyfriend. Maybe people should tell the boyfriend. I mean,
• 31:39
  Speaker 1: who are you going to tell first? The boyfriend? Right?
• 31:41
  Speaker 1: Your ex? Yeah, that's pretty tricky. What do you girls think?
• 31:45
  Speaker 1: What does everyone think? Do they have to know that
• 31:47
  Speaker 1: you were together when they all were together? Does that
• 31:51
  Speaker 1: all have to come out? So that's another topic. We
• 31:56
  Speaker 1: kind of agreed to never say that anything started while
• 31:59
  Speaker 1: the previous relationship was going on, but we think that
• 32:05
  Speaker 1: it would be really obvious that things would start to
• 32:08
  Speaker 1: click once the truth came out. So yeah, like my
• 32:11
  Speaker 1: initial lie, lie, like wait a few months and then
• 32:15
  Speaker 1: act like you guys ran into each other and it
• 32:17
  Speaker 1: was so nice to see each other again, and things started.
• 32:20
  Speaker 1: But that people always say the truth always freaking comes out,
• 32:23
  Speaker 1: and then you're gonna have to not only face that
• 32:25
  Speaker 1: you're dating him, but now the lies and all of
• 32:28
  Speaker 1: the tears of thing Veronica. It's never gonna get easier,
• 32:31
  Speaker 1: So waiting longer is not gonna make it easier. So
• 32:33
  Speaker 1: freaking rip it and just be like, we're dating, we're
• 32:36
  Speaker 1: in love, we're happy. Is the family understanding people? Are
• 32:40
  Speaker 1: they wild? Are we gonna flip tables? Really understanding people?
• 32:46
  Speaker 1: Oh well, it's a good start. Did you break up?
• 32:51
  Speaker 1: Was he heartbroken? Does he act heartbroken? I would say yes,
• 32:56
  Speaker 1: he was very shocked and surprised. Does he have new lady?
• 33:01
  Speaker 1: Not yet? Up? We got to get him a new
• 33:03
  Speaker 1: lady if you want that. He needs to keep completely
• 33:06
  Speaker 1: over you and so in love that you don't care
• 33:08
  Speaker 1: what's going on. It would be great if you could
• 33:10
  Speaker 1: wait until he has a girlfriend. That would be good
• 33:14
  Speaker 1: because then you won't care as much because it's just
• 33:16
  Speaker 1: gonna be a ship show. You're It's exactly right. The
• 33:18
  Speaker 1: truth is gonna come out. They're gonna piece it all together.
• 33:20
  Speaker 1: And if you admit that you guys, how are flirting
• 33:23
  Speaker 1: while you were with him? And then that he's never
• 33:25
  Speaker 1: gonna forgive you. He's gonna hold onto that for years,
• 33:28
  Speaker 1: and that's just such bad news. Like, I wish you
• 33:30
  Speaker 1: could just find a lie. Was there kind of some
• 33:34
  Speaker 1: overlap there? I know you said there were some stolen kisses,
• 33:37
  Speaker 1: but like, was there like sex overlap? No? No, no, no, no, no,
• 33:41
  Speaker 1: that's candy. Yeah, good for you. Don't say it. Just
• 33:46
  Speaker 1: say there was flirting, flirting and we knew that was wrong,
• 33:49
  Speaker 1: and I that's why I broke up with you, and
• 33:51
  Speaker 1: you did. You made with the cousin and I knew
• 33:52
  Speaker 1: it was wrong. And obviously, don't volunteer that there were
• 33:56
  Speaker 1: any kisses. If he asked, did anything happen? What you
• 33:59
  Speaker 1: take that as sex? No? No, no, we didn't have sex.
• 34:02
  Speaker 1: I didn't want to do that while we were dating.
• 34:03
  Speaker 1: I don't think you should admit the kissing behind the
• 34:06
  Speaker 1: sneaking kisses. I don't like that, and I'm advocating for
• 34:09
  Speaker 1: you to lie. I am. Yeah, those details might just
• 34:12
  Speaker 1: hurt more than everything exactly. You guys can play it
• 34:16
  Speaker 1: off like you've been dating for a few months because
• 34:18
  Speaker 1: you I mean what you said you did, which is
• 34:21
  Speaker 1: moving out, giving yourself some space to like figure out
• 34:23
  Speaker 1: if this was really real. Turns out it was ten months,
• 34:26
  Speaker 1: you know what I mean, you did a lot of
• 34:28
  Speaker 1: the right things. You stopped it when it was going
• 34:31
  Speaker 1: a certain direction. And I think, you know, having some
• 34:34
  Speaker 1: white lies in there about not having physical intimacy, I
• 34:37
  Speaker 1: think that's just fine too. Yeah, that's so nice that
• 34:40
  Speaker 1: you're so in love. Yeah, it's very refreshing compared to
• 34:45
  Speaker 1: the last five years. So well, don't say that. I
• 34:49
  Speaker 1: don't tell him that, no, yeah, yeah, yeah, But do
• 34:54
  Speaker 1: you know, you and your new boyfriend, if you can
• 34:57
  Speaker 1: weather this storm that you're gonna about to get into
• 35:00
  Speaker 1: and listen, maybe it's not going to be a big deal.
• 35:02
  Speaker 1: That would be ideal, but I mean it probably will
• 35:05
  Speaker 1: be a big deal. You know, people like you know,
• 35:08
  Speaker 1: it could have been his brother. At least it's just
• 35:09
  Speaker 1: a cousin. Yeah, yeah, that's a good thing to bring up. Say,
• 35:13
  Speaker 1: at least I wasn't sucking your father, and see how
• 35:16
  Speaker 1: he likes that. I just say, it's you know that
• 35:19
  Speaker 1: or your mother. What if I was sucking your mother,
• 35:22
  Speaker 1: that would be a real shocker, you know, that would
• 35:24
  Speaker 1: be a double whammy. Yeah, you really got to say
• 35:27
  Speaker 1: that this is the best case scenario. I feel like
• 35:29
  Speaker 1: it is a bit removed from the family. Yeah, not
• 35:33
  Speaker 1: immediate I didn't go for immediate family. Yes, yeah, And
• 35:38
  Speaker 1: I think also you have to be very once this
• 35:40
  Speaker 1: is out, be very sensitive to the fact that people
• 35:43
  Speaker 1: are going to have like their little feelings about it,
• 35:45
  Speaker 1: and then that will just eventually fade out. The family
• 35:49
  Speaker 1: probably doesn't like the cousin that much you always talk
• 35:51
  Speaker 1: to you about you know what I mean. It might
• 35:53
  Speaker 1: not even be that close. So maybe you're in a
• 35:55
  Speaker 1: great place and get an a test. Maybe they're not
• 35:57
  Speaker 1: even cousins, you know. Oh my gosh, a lot of
• 36:00
  Speaker 1: surprises out there. That really is true, it is. Yeah,
• 36:04
  Speaker 1: I get your twenty three and me, I bet you
• 36:06
  Speaker 1: who knows who knows things? Really took a charm for
• 36:10
  Speaker 1: a positive here. But also like it's been ten months,
• 36:14
  Speaker 1: hopefully it won't be a big deal, right, it's been
• 36:17
  Speaker 1: a while. Yeah, it's been a while. Yeah. Make sure
• 36:20
  Speaker 1: you let us know what happens, okay, very and let
• 36:24
  Speaker 1: us know when it happens. What happens, Yeah, call us back, Okay,
• 36:27
  Speaker 1: I'll give you all the juicy details. Thank you, Yes, perfect, Okay,
• 36:32
  Speaker 1: good luck with that. Thank you. That's right, that's awesome.
• 36:38
  Speaker 1: That's gonna be one fucked up situation. Feel the vibes
• 36:43
  Speaker 1: from that family. Just by talking to her, I know
• 36:46
  Speaker 1: it's gonna go badly. The ancestors are gonna be pissed. Well,
• 36:54
  Speaker 1: we have another collar gals. This is Emily. Emily is
• 36:58
  Speaker 1: forty six, she says, high favorite podcast. I left an
• 37:03
  Speaker 1: abusive marriage in two thousand seven. In two thousand eight,
• 37:06
  Speaker 1: I met a guy who, fourteen years later is still around.
• 37:10
  Speaker 1: When we got together, we bonded over our terrible marriages,
• 37:13
  Speaker 1: and we had kids, so our relationship became our private island.
• 37:16
  Speaker 1: We communicate well and became great travel buddies. We don't
• 37:20
  Speaker 1: live together, and our kids are grown. I love my
• 37:22
  Speaker 1: me time, and so I'm on the fence about living together.
• 37:25
  Speaker 1: When I think about getting older and having a partner
• 37:28
  Speaker 1: to help me with things that happen when you get old,
• 37:30
  Speaker 1: like falling or getting sick, it seems like a good idea.
• 37:34
  Speaker 1: He just says maybe someday. Someday is fine. I'm a
• 37:38
  Speaker 1: weed smoker and super happy just to be living and
• 37:40
  Speaker 1: somewhat successful. I was once anxious and now moved to
• 37:44
  Speaker 1: a secure attachment style person. Been in therapy since I
• 37:47
  Speaker 1: was a teen. I have so much life left to live,
• 37:50
  Speaker 1: and it would be easy to let another fifteen years
• 37:52
  Speaker 1: pass just as we are. He's still in my life,
• 37:55
  Speaker 1: but recently the relationships been sort of fizzling. We're still
• 37:58
  Speaker 1: in contact but not really together. Is it worth sticking
• 38:01
  Speaker 1: it out another couple of years or have we peeked
• 38:04
  Speaker 1: already and it's time to move on. I'm such an
• 38:06
  Speaker 1: easygoing person. I'm worried I'm going to let life pass
• 38:10
  Speaker 1: me by. I find myself asking after fourteen years together
• 38:14
  Speaker 1: and not cohabitating, should I be asking for more? Sincerely, Emily, Hi, Emily, Hey,
• 38:21
  Speaker 1: this is Kat and nat Are who are special guests today.
• 38:24
  Speaker 1: They're from Canada. He is very legal here. Oh nice, perfect,
• 38:33
  Speaker 1: And you know Catherine because you probably spoke to her already.
• 38:36
  Speaker 1: She's amazing. Okay, So you've been with your partner for
• 38:39
  Speaker 1: fourteen years and you say you're independent, but then you
• 38:42
  Speaker 1: say that you want to move in together. So it's
• 38:44
  Speaker 1: a little confusing which one do you want? Okay? So
• 38:47
  Speaker 1: it's a little confusing of a situation. We did break up.
• 38:51
  Speaker 1: It's sort of run its course. This has been going
• 38:54
  Speaker 1: on for a long time. But I kind of like
• 38:57
  Speaker 1: I'm growing up. I guess. I think I finally became
• 38:59
  Speaker 1: an adult, a share kind of thing where the same
• 39:02
  Speaker 1: things we used to do, like he would come over
• 39:04
  Speaker 1: and we would hang out, we'd smoke, we were you know,
• 39:06
  Speaker 1: this great, perfect private island situation. And then after it
• 39:12
  Speaker 1: got old, it just you know it kind of I
• 39:15
  Speaker 1: got busy. I'd like to do things outside. He doesn't,
• 39:20
  Speaker 1: and so I stopped doing all the things that I
• 39:22
  Speaker 1: would do to get ready to hang out with them.
• 39:24
  Speaker 1: And and to me, that was a sign that I
• 39:27
  Speaker 1: shouldn't continue this. I should at least think about what
• 39:31
  Speaker 1: I need at this point in my life. Now I
• 39:33
  Speaker 1: did love I love him, We get along great. It
• 39:36
  Speaker 1: sounds like you're describing your brother or your best friend
• 39:38
  Speaker 1: like it's the excitement is gone. It's over, so move
• 39:41
  Speaker 1: on and you need to find something else. You have
• 39:44
  Speaker 1: to be excited about the person that you are fucking.
• 39:46
  Speaker 1: You have to be excited and want to look good
• 39:49
  Speaker 1: from when they come over and look in the mirror
• 39:50
  Speaker 1: and actually care about what you look like. I know
• 39:53
  Speaker 1: that after fourteen years that's not typical, but so great.
• 39:56
  Speaker 1: You're not married to him, you have no reason to
• 39:58
  Speaker 1: hang on to this, you can move on and use
• 40:00
  Speaker 1: him as like you know, how to have him in
• 40:02
  Speaker 1: your life as a friendship. It's so easy to see. Yeah,
• 40:05
  Speaker 1: for sure, it's that appropriate to to be friends. I
• 40:09
  Speaker 1: guess I'm a little unclear on what as long as
• 40:13
  Speaker 1: you don't have expectations from him, you know, if you
• 40:15
  Speaker 1: can transition into a friendship or you're not having sex
• 40:17
  Speaker 1: with him, because I think that's confusing and that muddies
• 40:20
  Speaker 1: the waters. We're not having sex, we haven't had sex,
• 40:22
  Speaker 1: and like, yeah, I mean, if it's okay to be
• 40:25
  Speaker 1: friends with him, but you know, sometimes when we have
• 40:27
  Speaker 1: somebody old in our life, it kind of prevents us
• 40:29
  Speaker 1: from moving on to the new person. So I don't
• 40:31
  Speaker 1: know if that's happening, but it sounds like what you're
• 40:33
  Speaker 1: describing is pretty stale. And I'm thinking, like when you said,
• 40:37
  Speaker 1: you're forty six, and you're already looking at a time
• 40:40
  Speaker 1: where you get old and all down you have, you're
• 40:43
  Speaker 1: still so young. There's seven I'm don't you fight my
• 40:48
  Speaker 1: jam up? Like what are you talking about? Forty is
• 40:51
  Speaker 1: the new like it doesn't matter? Yeah, yeah, you know.
• 40:55
  Speaker 1: The whole point of that was, so we do he
• 40:57
  Speaker 1: has some stomach issues and he was in the hot
• 41:00
  Speaker 1: spit all. I didn't get a call for three days.
• 41:02
  Speaker 1: So that's the story there. It's like we are getting
• 41:05
  Speaker 1: older and like these are things I should be thinking about,
• 41:08
  Speaker 1: But don't. I disagree. You're not You're right, you're not sick.
• 41:12
  Speaker 1: Why do you have to think about that? Men are
• 41:15
  Speaker 1: going south before women too. So don't hook up with
• 41:18
  Speaker 1: a guy thinking he's taking care of you, because you're
• 41:19
  Speaker 1: definitely taking care of him before he takes care of you.
• 41:22
  Speaker 1: You know what I mean. You gotta look out for
• 41:24
  Speaker 1: you go younger, yes, genius, Yeah, let's go younger. And also,
• 41:29
  Speaker 1: you want your vibration here, not settling, like vibration when
• 41:33
  Speaker 1: you settle it just it's like a limp biscuit. Yeah, higher,
• 41:37
  Speaker 1: and nanny to babysit you when you get older, you
• 41:39
  Speaker 1: know what I mean? Don't get married. I would rather
• 41:42
  Speaker 1: pay somebody to take care of me in my life
• 41:44
  Speaker 1: dying days than have any fucking child or niece or nephew.
• 41:48
  Speaker 1: And my nieces and nephew's loved me and they would
• 41:50
  Speaker 1: take care of me, but I would rather pay somebody
• 41:53
  Speaker 1: to do it so that when I say, get me
• 41:54
  Speaker 1: a Belvedere on the rocks with a splash of fucking
• 41:56
  Speaker 1: soda on my deathbed. They're going to do that, Chelsea.
• 41:59
  Speaker 1: Can I tell you where you can do that? Really? Well?
• 42:01
  Speaker 1: My sister works in elder law, and she said that
• 42:04
  Speaker 1: what a lot of people are doing these days is
• 42:06
  Speaker 1: rather than going into assisted living, which is like ten
• 42:08
  Speaker 1: grand a month, they just go on cruises, cruise after
• 42:11
  Speaker 1: cruise after cruise, because there's more doctors per capita on
• 42:15
  Speaker 1: a cruise than at the nursing home. Yeah, but then
• 42:17
  Speaker 1: you have to go on a fucking cruise, Catherine. I'm
• 42:21
  Speaker 1: not doing that. I would go on a limited edition cruise,
• 42:24
  Speaker 1: like there has to be less than fifty people, and
• 42:26
  Speaker 1: then I'll go and I have to be able to
• 42:28
  Speaker 1: throw each one of them overboard. But anyway, you're fucking
• 42:31
  Speaker 1: forty six, You're not. Everything's great, ye. Can I ask
• 42:35
  Speaker 1: you a question, Chelse? So I know you really love
• 42:38
  Speaker 1: your alone time and I really identified with that. My
• 42:41
  Speaker 1: kid went back to school and I had the best
• 42:43
  Speaker 1: day yesterday just by myself. And so do you ever
• 42:47
  Speaker 1: think about in that situation being very comfortable? Are you
• 42:51
  Speaker 1: too comfortable? Or like, do you think that you should
• 42:53
  Speaker 1: don't think you don't need to over analyze yourself. Whatever
• 42:56
  Speaker 1: feels good to you is the right thing. We are all.
• 42:59
  Speaker 1: We live in a society where it's a good thing
• 43:01
  Speaker 1: to like have introspection. But you don't have to be
• 43:03
  Speaker 1: overly analytical about every little move you make. There's no
• 43:06
  Speaker 1: such thing as I spend too much time. The other night,
• 43:09
  Speaker 1: I went to bed at five pm. Okay, anyone else
• 43:12
  Speaker 1: would be like, are you depressed? I don't give a fuck.
• 43:15
  Speaker 1: I wanted. All I could think about was going to bed.
• 43:17
  Speaker 1: I looked at my sleep number in the in the morning,
• 43:20
  Speaker 1: my stats on my phone, and it said you fell
• 43:22
  Speaker 1: asleep at five pm, And I was like, what a
• 43:25
  Speaker 1: victory lap? You know, like, yeah, it's whatever. Whatever you
• 43:29
  Speaker 1: feel that you need is what you need. Stop judging yourself.
• 43:33
  Speaker 1: And also it's okay if that changes as it as
• 43:38
  Speaker 1: it does, it changes all the time, So whatever you're feeling,
• 43:40
  Speaker 1: it's never gonna last forever. Like you know that you're
• 43:43
  Speaker 1: just in this mood right now, and then you're going
• 43:46
  Speaker 1: to get out of that mood. But I would say,
• 43:48
  Speaker 1: you know, take a little separation from that guy and
• 43:50
  Speaker 1: a stomach. Yeah. My one question I think is why
• 43:56
  Speaker 1: it's been such a slow burn for you to make
• 43:59
  Speaker 1: the change, Like it's been like a year and a
• 44:00
  Speaker 1: half of this relationship dissolving and no sex, and you
• 44:04
  Speaker 1: know you're still wondering, like do I give it two
• 44:07
  Speaker 1: more years? What is that there? Like everybody know that's
• 44:14
  Speaker 1: a big silent gap. We're just all waiting and while
• 44:17
  Speaker 1: you figure out what your answer is mm hmm. The
• 44:21
  Speaker 1: answer is, I'm not waiting. I just this situation is here.
• 44:25
  Speaker 1: I'm I've moved on with my life and I think
• 44:28
  Speaker 1: that I need to put a cap on that relationship
• 44:33
  Speaker 1: and say, like, look, we had a good run, and
• 44:38
  Speaker 1: is he gonna feel the same way? Just how does
• 44:40
  Speaker 1: he feel he knows about this call? Like he's caring? What? Oh,
• 44:46
  Speaker 1: you know your answer? And we all know you know
• 44:48
  Speaker 1: your answer. You just wanted to tell you what to do,
• 44:50
  Speaker 1: but you know what to do. You just said it.
• 44:52
  Speaker 1: We didn't have to say anything. You just wanted someone
• 44:54
  Speaker 1: else to tell you. You want to cap that off? Yeah? Right,
• 44:58
  Speaker 1: I think you should write that. I should think you
• 45:00
  Speaker 1: should write that on your refrigerator. Who cares? And that
• 45:03
  Speaker 1: is to you? And what anyone else might that possibly
• 45:06
  Speaker 1: think of? You start with that mantra every single day.
• 45:11
  Speaker 1: I love it. Yeah, yeah, you have my whole world,
• 45:14
  Speaker 1: Like you're gonna have a lot of men in your life.
• 45:16
  Speaker 1: We just sometimes have to clean out the garbage in
• 45:17
  Speaker 1: our lives. And not that you know any person is garbage.
• 45:20
  Speaker 1: That's not what I'm saying. It's just some people aren't
• 45:22
  Speaker 1: adding to our value, and some people are only there
• 45:25
  Speaker 1: for a short period of time and in your case,
• 45:27
  Speaker 1: a long period of time. But it's time to dust
• 45:29
  Speaker 1: out those cobwebs and get going with the rest of
• 45:31
  Speaker 1: your life. Yeah, this could be such an exciting time
• 45:35
  Speaker 1: for you. Yeah. I definitely just became a grown up
• 45:38
  Speaker 1: and you just found yourself. It's gonna be a good time.
• 45:42
  Speaker 1: I have a couple of people hit me up over
• 45:44
  Speaker 1: the past year that I just haven't been ready to date.
• 45:46
  Speaker 1: But yeah, you know, yeah, I like being by myself
• 45:52
  Speaker 1: right now. Don't do it. You don't have to move
• 45:54
  Speaker 1: in with them right away. I don't want to. Yeah, yeah, yeah,
• 45:59
  Speaker 1: just go with the flow. I remember once I was
• 46:01
  Speaker 1: hanging out with this group of people. This is a
• 46:03
  Speaker 1: long time ago, and I remember looking around going this
• 46:06
  Speaker 1: isn't gonna cut it. These people are not going to
• 46:08
  Speaker 1: cut it. I'm too cool to be in this group,
• 46:11
  Speaker 1: and you have to remember that about yourself. When you're
• 46:13
  Speaker 1: too cool for a situation, go and find people that
• 46:16
  Speaker 1: are on your vibe, not people that are on your
• 46:18
  Speaker 1: like lower than your Yeah. And if I could go
• 46:22
  Speaker 1: back and dry hump people, I would just dry hump
• 46:24
  Speaker 1: like I would if I were you, I would just
• 46:26
  Speaker 1: dry hump and make out with them. It would just
• 46:27
  Speaker 1: sit then thank you for the night, and move on.
• 46:30
  Speaker 1: I love that advice bad. Actually, dry humping is gonna
• 46:34
  Speaker 1: probably make a comeback at some point. It's yeah, yeah,
• 46:38
  Speaker 1: because you could actually a woman could come or climax
• 46:41
  Speaker 1: from dry humping. Yeah, and you're good to go. Yeah
• 46:46
  Speaker 1: or monkey I set of monkey bars. I can't believe
• 46:52
  Speaker 1: you put that in your book, by the way, because
• 46:54
  Speaker 1: like I think every woman was like, that's okay that
• 46:57
  Speaker 1: we did that. Oh yeah, you girls. I used to
• 46:59
  Speaker 1: master made over my pants when I it was called
• 47:01
  Speaker 1: the feeling when I was growing up. I was so excited.
• 47:04
  Speaker 1: I had no idea because I didn't think I would
• 47:05
  Speaker 1: never touch your Pikachu directly. It would be over the jeans.
• 47:08
  Speaker 1: But if the seam of the jeans were the right
• 47:10
  Speaker 1: seem a fixed team. You could make yourself come even faster.
• 47:13
  Speaker 1: So I would lie down behind an ottoman I get
• 47:15
  Speaker 1: home after school and I would just be just just
• 47:19
  Speaker 1: rubbing myself. But I'd have my vagina covered by the
• 47:22
  Speaker 1: ottoman in case anyone walked into the living room and
• 47:25
  Speaker 1: they would just see me face down on the floor.
• 47:26
  Speaker 1: And while I had like rug burns on my chin,
• 47:28
  Speaker 1: I was so into myself. I could not get enough
• 47:31
  Speaker 1: of myself. All I would do was jerk off all
• 47:33
  Speaker 1: the time. And I didn't know I was masturbating. I mean,
• 47:36
  Speaker 1: I knew it was like a secret, but I was
• 47:38
  Speaker 1: just like, oh, all my girlfriends were doing it. And
• 47:40
  Speaker 1: so I would just be sitting there rubbing my vagina,
• 47:42
  Speaker 1: rubbing my vagina. And then finally we were at dinner
• 47:44
  Speaker 1: one night and I had a ladle and it was
• 47:46
  Speaker 1: a whole family dinner and I couldn't like, I couldn't
• 47:49
  Speaker 1: even take a break for dinner. If only fans were alive,
• 47:52
  Speaker 1: then I would have been on it. And so I
• 47:53
  Speaker 1: had this spoon and in between my legs, and I
• 47:55
  Speaker 1: was rubbing myself at the dinner table, and I obviously
• 47:58
  Speaker 1: became red or sweaty or something, and my mom goes, Chelsea,
• 48:03
  Speaker 1: what you're doing needs to be done in the privacy
• 48:05
  Speaker 1: of your own room. And then my brother Roy yells,
• 48:08
  Speaker 1: she does it all the time. And I looked around
• 48:12
  Speaker 1: the table and I was like, oh my god, everyone's
• 48:15
  Speaker 1: known this whole time that I've been fucking jerking off.
• 48:18
  Speaker 1: Like I thought I was sleuth, you know, Like I
• 48:20
  Speaker 1: was like, oh my god. And I was so devastated
• 48:24
  Speaker 1: that I did not masturbate until I was in my
• 48:26
  Speaker 1: forties because I was so ashamed about it that for you,
• 48:29
  Speaker 1: I hated that my brothers knew that I was jerking off.
• 48:33
  Speaker 1: Very common course it is, of course it is. I mean, yeah,
• 48:38
  Speaker 1: they're jerking off. You know the show Young Sheldon. Yeah,
• 48:45
  Speaker 1: I know, I need to make it. I know we
• 48:47
  Speaker 1: were working on that once. Anyway, did you get your
• 48:50
  Speaker 1: advice that you came here for. I did? I love
• 48:54
  Speaker 1: you so much? Okay? All right? Good? Well, when you
• 48:57
  Speaker 1: get a new boyfriend or girlfriend or whatever, you're in
• 49:00
  Speaker 1: too obviously men right now, but that can always change. Also,
• 49:02
  Speaker 1: be open minded and when you're in a new situation
• 49:05
  Speaker 1: and you're feeling really positive about your life, please send
• 49:07
  Speaker 1: us a line and let us know yes, of course
• 49:09
  Speaker 1: we'll do Hi. Thanks ladies. Oh my god, didn't even
• 49:16
  Speaker 1: take a break for dinner. No, what a productive call
• 49:20
  Speaker 1: that was. That was great. Yeah, that isn't it funny
• 49:23
  Speaker 1: thing you can just talk to someone and you can
• 49:25
  Speaker 1: feel their energy just by talking to them, like if
• 49:27
  Speaker 1: it's high or low. I wish that was more like measurable,
• 49:32
  Speaker 1: you know, when people talk about energy. I wish somebody
• 49:34
  Speaker 1: could say, oh, you're at an eight, so that people
• 49:36
  Speaker 1: would take it more seriously, because like the high vibes
• 49:39
  Speaker 1: are so important, and there are people that just bring
• 49:41
  Speaker 1: you down, you know, and it's not their fault or
• 49:44
  Speaker 1: that they're a bad person, you're just not on the
• 49:46
  Speaker 1: same frequency. Yeah, we should have like a little thing
• 49:49
  Speaker 1: above our head that says like a halo. Yeah. I
• 49:54
  Speaker 1: have one more quick question from Brittany. Brittany Britney spears
• 49:58
  Speaker 1: a spell boy and so, Dear Chelsea. I have a
• 50:04
  Speaker 1: situation I've been wrestling with for about a year. I'm
• 50:07
  Speaker 1: thirty six years old and never wanted kids until this
• 50:10
  Speaker 1: last year. I married my husband last year and we've
• 50:13
  Speaker 1: been together for eight years total. I really love him.
• 50:16
  Speaker 1: We have mostly have a great relationship. We have three
• 50:19
  Speaker 1: cats we adore, But the thing is he does not
• 50:21
  Speaker 1: want to have kids. We always agreed about this until
• 50:24
  Speaker 1: a year ago. I kept thinking that the desire to
• 50:27
  Speaker 1: have kids would just be a phase and go away,
• 50:29
  Speaker 1: but it keeps getting stronger. I'm really confused and torn
• 50:33
  Speaker 1: on what to do. The thought of leaving makes me sad,
• 50:36
  Speaker 1: and the fear of trying to find a partner and
• 50:37
  Speaker 1: have kids at my age seems scary. I'm freezing my eggs,
• 50:41
  Speaker 1: so that helps take some of the pressure off, but
• 50:43
  Speaker 1: it's still a huge undertaking. I'm worried that later on
• 50:46
  Speaker 1: I'll have some regret about not taking a chance on
• 50:49
  Speaker 1: having a family of my own. I'm also worried that
• 50:51
  Speaker 1: I'll regret leaving a good marriage and potentially fucking up
• 50:54
  Speaker 1: my life with a crappy partner, or the challenges of parenthood.
• 50:58
  Speaker 1: How can I make this decision. I'm going to therapy,
• 51:00
  Speaker 1: but I feel stuck. The clock is ticking, which is
• 51:03
  Speaker 1: so stressful. Thanks for your help, Brittany. So the husband
• 51:06
  Speaker 1: decided he did didn't want to have kids. I think
• 51:09
  Speaker 1: neither of them did, and then she just changed her
• 51:10
  Speaker 1: mind okay and hit her and she just she felt
• 51:14
  Speaker 1: like she maternal and she needed to have a baby.
• 51:17
  Speaker 1: Oh well, she really has to decide what does she
• 51:18
  Speaker 1: want more him or the baby, because she actually doesn't.
• 51:21
  Speaker 1: She doesn't need him to make the baby. She could
• 51:23
  Speaker 1: do it alone. But she doesn't need to find another
• 51:25
  Speaker 1: partner to have a baby either if they did fizzle,
• 51:27
  Speaker 1: like if they broke up, like she can have a
• 51:29
  Speaker 1: baby on her own. Yeah, yeah, but that's not going
• 51:31
  Speaker 1: to make her feel good. She wants to have a
• 51:33
  Speaker 1: husband and that baby. So you guys are parents, so
• 51:37
  Speaker 1: you need to handle this. It's happened to a lot
• 51:40
  Speaker 1: of our friends actually, and they broke up with the
• 51:43
  Speaker 1: partner to have the baby. Because you're gonna end up
• 51:48
  Speaker 1: if you can't let it go. You're gonna hate them.
• 51:50
  Speaker 1: You're going to resent them that they never did it,
• 51:53
  Speaker 1: and you will just find problems even if there isn't
• 51:56
  Speaker 1: a problem, you'll create problems. So it would rather be honest,
• 51:59
  Speaker 1: like I've changed my mind and maybe he doesn't know
• 52:02
  Speaker 1: how she's nervous to say I really really want this,
• 52:04
  Speaker 1: this is what he might be like, then I can
• 52:06
  Speaker 1: get on board. You never know if you're really honest
• 52:08
  Speaker 1: with it. Yeah, like maybe eight years ago when they
• 52:10
  Speaker 1: started together. They totally agreed on that, but he really
• 52:13
  Speaker 1: wasn't as like he wasn't as determined to not have
• 52:15
  Speaker 1: them as she was. Now she's changed her mind. Who knows,
• 52:18
  Speaker 1: Maybe he has to Yeah, yeah, yeah, I don't know.
• 52:22
  Speaker 1: God I go My husband didn't one a third really
• 52:25
  Speaker 1: and it was a big conversation, and I was like different,
• 52:29
  Speaker 1: I know, but I was a very big conversation. I
• 52:32
  Speaker 1: think for some people have to be like this is
• 52:34
  Speaker 1: this is so important to me. I don't know if
• 52:36
  Speaker 1: I can keep being with you if I can't do this,
• 52:38
  Speaker 1: and then he might feel like I never knew. Let's
• 52:41
  Speaker 1: maybe let's talk about it, think about what we're gonna
• 52:44
  Speaker 1: do here. Yeah, it's so much more than do I
• 52:47
  Speaker 1: leave him or do I get a baby? Because she
• 52:49
  Speaker 1: might not even be able to have a baby. You know,
• 52:51
  Speaker 1: like there's so many X factors. It's so hard to
• 52:54
  Speaker 1: say leave them and go get a new partner in
• 52:56
  Speaker 1: a baby, maybe there's a wiggle room in two years
• 53:00
  Speaker 1: or you know, if she's freezing his eggs, does he
• 53:04
  Speaker 1: not know something's coming up? Or is she doing it
• 53:06
  Speaker 1: in secret? Well she's freezing her egg Yeah, Well men
• 53:10
  Speaker 1: don't have eggs like, yeah, she might be doing it alone.
• 53:18
  Speaker 1: It's expensive to do that too, it is. Yeah, I
• 53:22
  Speaker 1: think you have to be like, if you really are
• 53:23
  Speaker 1: thinking about this, ay, you have to want to have
• 53:26
  Speaker 1: that baby a hundred and fifty percent. You have to
• 53:27
  Speaker 1: be committed to that. And if you are that committed
• 53:29
  Speaker 1: to that baby and that's more important to you than
• 53:32
  Speaker 1: your husband is right now, then yeah, you've got to
• 53:35
  Speaker 1: leave him and go pursue that. But I mean you
• 53:39
  Speaker 1: have to really know that you want to do that,
• 53:41
  Speaker 1: not just be curious about being a mother. I think
• 53:44
  Speaker 1: you know, sometimes I know how strong a maternal instant
• 53:47
  Speaker 1: can be, at least I hear about it. But I
• 53:50
  Speaker 1: think you have to examine really how important that is
• 53:52
  Speaker 1: to you, and then that's your decision right there. You know,
• 53:55
  Speaker 1: did you have like a whoopsie, like you know, get
• 53:57
  Speaker 1: unofficially inseminated and then be like, oh no, that bad. Yeah,
• 54:01
  Speaker 1: but we're also Mary, so yeah, I mean I'm not
• 54:05
  Speaker 1: against that. I don't into a baby, Okay, well we did, Okay,
• 54:13
  Speaker 1: Well that's yeah, that's your advice. What's her name. I
• 54:17
  Speaker 1: definitely think that's a good ideas that would do that. Yeah,
• 54:21
  Speaker 1: if I was a manipulative person. That was something I
• 54:23
  Speaker 1: would think about. Just you know, is that how you
• 54:26
  Speaker 1: wanted up with baby number three? No? No, locked him in?
• 54:30
  Speaker 1: You know, wrap my legs. You're not leaving, squeaks. Well,
• 54:34
  Speaker 1: let's take a quick break and we'll come back to
• 54:36
  Speaker 1: wrap up with Captain Nat and Chelsea. And we're back.
• 54:44
  Speaker 1: We're back, well, Catt, And this is the part of
• 54:47
  Speaker 1: the show where I want to know if you'd like
• 54:48
  Speaker 1: any advice from Chelsea. Well, we have an ongoing argument
• 54:52
  Speaker 1: that maybe the two of you and Chelsea could settle
• 54:55
  Speaker 1: for us. We have an argument on whether you and
• 54:58
  Speaker 1: Chelsea yeah whatever, you know, I'm saying, Okay, I think
• 55:01
  Speaker 1: we just we've never really agreed to I don't know
• 55:03
  Speaker 1: if we have a misunderstanding and we actually have to
• 55:05
  Speaker 1: show each other what we mean. But I take soap
• 55:08
  Speaker 1: and I wash underneath and all over my vagina, like
• 55:12
  Speaker 1: I actually take the soap and not in like, not
• 55:16
  Speaker 1: in the hole, of course, not the hole in the oven,
• 55:18
  Speaker 1: in the like, all underneath. And she says that you
• 55:20
  Speaker 1: shouldn't put she read, if you don't put soap there
• 55:23
  Speaker 1: because it's self inside, not in the hole. Yes, all
• 55:27
  Speaker 1: in there. And I don't think you're I'm pretty rough
• 55:30
  Speaker 1: and when I washed my beaver in the shower, that's
• 55:32
  Speaker 1: obviously the first spot i'd like to hit. But I
• 55:35
  Speaker 1: don't put the soap bar like I guess I probably
• 55:38
  Speaker 1: do with something similar. I do know that you're not
• 55:40
  Speaker 1: supposed to do that. You're not supposed to, but soap
• 55:43
  Speaker 1: inside the lips, any of that. Your vagina is a
• 55:46
  Speaker 1: self cleaning mechanism itself. Yes, are you serious? Yeah, so
• 55:51
  Speaker 1: you can rob soap around, but like, I don't think
• 55:54
  Speaker 1: it's gonna hurt you. I mean, it's supposed to affect
• 55:56
  Speaker 1: your pH balance, is what I know. Yeah, but I'm
• 55:59
  Speaker 1: not I don't use a bar of soap. I used
• 56:02
  Speaker 1: pump soap, right is that what you use? So you're not? Okay? So,
• 56:05
  Speaker 1: I mean, I just don't think it's that big of
• 56:07
  Speaker 1: a deal. I think if you actually put it inside you,
• 56:11
  Speaker 1: then it's a big deal. But massa manos, as they
• 56:13
  Speaker 1: say in it. If you're not getting any East infections,
• 56:16
  Speaker 1: you're probably doing it fine. Yeah right, Yeah, everything's been
• 56:19
  Speaker 1: fine so far. I just like all dark moist places
• 56:22
  Speaker 1: need to be also have ibs, so that would be different.
• 56:26
  Speaker 1: You know, ibs down there. You do definitely stuck my
• 56:28
  Speaker 1: finger in my butt hole to wash it. Yeah, for
• 56:33
  Speaker 1: if there's a situation that needs cleansing, Yeah, in that
• 56:36
  Speaker 1: the hole. Yeah, just to make sure like everything's there
• 56:39
  Speaker 1: that is supposed to be there and nothing extra. Yeah,
• 56:43
  Speaker 1: only when I've had an incident. Oh my gosh, if
• 56:47
  Speaker 1: I even go anywhere near that thing, it's just going
• 56:50
  Speaker 1: to be a disaster. Really with soap, I mean, don't
• 56:53
  Speaker 1: you want it to be clean your butt hole? She
• 56:56
  Speaker 1: can't have any butt play whatsoever. Her bowels live on
• 57:00
  Speaker 1: the whole, like you know. I saw a video the
• 57:03
  Speaker 1: other day about anal sex and it says when men
• 57:06
  Speaker 1: go into other men there's three sphincter holes. I had
• 57:09
  Speaker 1: learned that there were two sphincter holes. So when you
• 57:12
  Speaker 1: have anal sex, there's one entryway and then there's a
• 57:15
  Speaker 1: second entryway, and if they're really well endowed, there is
• 57:18
  Speaker 1: a third entryway. But I think that's only applicable for
• 57:22
  Speaker 1: men because they have a scrowed them and we do not. So,
• 57:26
  Speaker 1: but for us, there are two anal entries one and
• 57:29
  Speaker 1: then boo boom, depending on how big between. So there's
• 57:33
  Speaker 1: ship wait, there's there's there who comes out one. No,
• 57:36
  Speaker 1: there's like as deep as it goes, then there's like another.
• 57:39
  Speaker 1: It's like being in a like a labyrinth. There's one
• 57:44
  Speaker 1: that's the entryway, and then if you have a big
• 57:46
  Speaker 1: enough penis, there's a second anal opening in the same tunnel.
• 57:52
  Speaker 1: I think she has one, and that's the problem because
• 57:54
  Speaker 1: I feel like it just drops in with like where
• 57:56
  Speaker 1: we have to run the red like there's no time.
• 57:58
  Speaker 1: It's like where she she pants, or like I have
• 58:01
  Speaker 1: a birth effect in my mom never told me I
• 58:03
  Speaker 1: only have one. Every travel with a thermos in case
• 58:08
  Speaker 1: you need to take ad in. It should do um okay. Well,
• 58:15
  Speaker 1: on that note, you guys, I just want to thank
• 58:17
  Speaker 1: you guys for being here all the way from Canada.
• 58:20
  Speaker 1: I can't wait to see you guys again in person.
• 58:22
  Speaker 1: I hope that happens sooner than later. Thank you for
• 58:24
  Speaker 1: being on the podcast. You were very entertaining. Thank you
• 58:27
  Speaker 1: so much for having us. It was so nice to
• 58:29
  Speaker 1: meet you, Catherine. I can't wait to see you guys again.
• 58:31
  Speaker 1: I'm your biggest fan now. Yeah, thank you guys, really truly.
• 58:35
  Speaker 1: Thanks girls, have a great day. Bye bye. And for
• 58:40
  Speaker 1: those of you who haven't seen my special on Netflix.
• 58:43
  Speaker 1: It's out. Revolution is out and it's streaming. And I
• 58:49
  Speaker 1: am announcing a new tour called the Little Big Bitch Tour.
• 58:54
  Speaker 1: I am starting again in April. I announced a bunch
• 58:57
  Speaker 1: of cities, so it's on my Instagram and my webs
• 59:00
  Speaker 1: sight and whatever. But yes, I'm going back on the
• 59:02
  Speaker 1: road in four months or whatever. I have a whole
• 59:08
  Speaker 1: new show and a whole new thing and I'm gonna
• 59:09
  Speaker 1: go to Oorgain. I'm just a busy woman. I am.
• 59:11
  Speaker 1: I am. There's a lot going on, So if you'd
• 59:14
  Speaker 1: like advice from Chelsea, just send us an email at
• 59:17
  Speaker 1: Dear Chelsea podcast at gmail dot com. Dear Chelsea is
• 59:21
  Speaker 1: a production of I Heart Radio, executive produced by Nick Stuff,
• 59:25
  Speaker 1: produced by Catherine Law, and edited and engineered by Brad Dickert.