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Why some Narcissists KEEP YOU UP at night and not let you sleep · The Mental Healness Podcast

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  What is going on, beautiful people?
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  Today we're going to be talking about why some narcissists will
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  refuse to let you go to sleep at night until they've got the last
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  word in until they are satisfied.
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  If you're new here, my name is Lee Hammock.
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  I'm a self aware narcissist and welcome to another episode of
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  The Narcissist Code. So boom.
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  Welcome back, folks. Welcome back, welcome back.
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  Yes, yes, yes. I am sitting in the car.
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  Yes, yes, yes. I am going by far.
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  Yeah. Narcissistic people, toxic
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  people do this type of stuff all the time.
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  Y'all, we know, we all know that sleep deprivation is a tactic
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  that a lot of narcissists will use, right?
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  I've used it. There's a lot of narcissists
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  that I know, cephoid narcissists that I know that I've used it.
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  And the reasons can vary why they do it, why we do it.
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  You know, like I said, 'cause when I was doing the sleep
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  deprivation tactic, it would be because my ego was in the way.
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  My, my feelings were hurt. I wanted to punish the other
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  person by not letting them go to sleep.
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  And I know as soon as I was talking about that, people
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  automatically start assuming I'm talking about like my wife or
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  somebody like that. No, it's, it's not always going
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  to be your intimate partner. Yeah, sometimes your parents can
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  keep you up at night, right? Your friends can keep you from
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  going to sleep at night because their feelings have been hurt,
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  because they feel a certain type of way, right?
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  It's not always going to be a boyfriend, girlsman, girlsman,
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  your boyfriend, girlfriend, husband or wife or something
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  along those lines. The person it is can vary,
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  right? It can always vary on who it is
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  and why they are doing it, but a lot of times they're just doing
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  it because you hurt their feelings, right?
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  They cannot stand the fact that you hurt their feelings, that
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  you might have one upped them, that you might have bested them.
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  Because sleep deprivation is not always just sitting in the bed
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  yelling and screaming at you and arguing with you.
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  Sometimes sleep deprivation can be something as simple as not
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  letting you quit the video game until they beat you.
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  You think about that is you not letting you stop, not letting
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  you quit the poker poker game or not letting you go home to your
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  family until they get their lick back until they get a victory.
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  That's also sleep deprivation. That's also also a time
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  controlling tactic. They're also them punishing you
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  because their ego has been hurt. It could be something along
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  those lines right there. It doesn't always have to be Hey
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  baby, you sleep, get your ass up.
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  You're not going to sleep. Yes, it can be like that.
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  Yes, it is like that a lot of times.
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  But like I said, it could be your friends, could be your
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  family members refusing to let you go to sleep because you beat
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  them in a beat them in Monopoly. You better get your ass up and
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  give me their Park Place. I want Boardwalk.
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  Boardwalk is mine this time. Do not pass go.
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  Do not collect $200. You're not don't sleep until I
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  win. Sometimes they'll do that type
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  of stuff right there, y'all. And sometimes, yeah, they, they
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  can bully you like that. They can bully you at the
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  sleepovers or just in family dynamics.
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  I'm just telling you, a lot of people sleep sleep see sleep
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  deprivation as just a, a, a thing that happens between
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  husband and wives and whatnot, or wives and husbands or whoever
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  it is in those situations. Boyfriend, girlfriend, fiance is
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  whatever, but it can be a family dynamic.
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  You hurt their feelings, you broke their heart or whatever.
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  You beat them out of game-winning shot in Madden or
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  2K like you you, you laugh at a waiter's joke or something along
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  those lines. They might not even tell you
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  that you laughed at the waiters joke and that's why they won't.
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  They won't let you go to sleep. They're not going to let you go
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  to sleep until you laugh, laugh monkey laugh like I'm a clown.
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  You on a lad or you, you as a Kiki key in with the waiter.
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  I need you to get Kiki key over here.
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  I need you like Kiki key. You see what I'm saying?
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  That happens. You hurt their egos, you break
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  their hearts or whatever it may be.
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  They may come after you like that.
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  They may refuse to let you go to sleep.
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  They may do something along those lines to mess with you.
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  Yes. A lot of narcissists do this
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  type of stuff right here, and they just keep doing it over and
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  over again because it works. Yeah, it works.
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  Like I said, when you're in an intimate relationship with them.
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  Yeah, they like, yeah, if they feel like you've wronged them or
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  you hurt their ego or whatever you've done, they will try to
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  hurt your feelings back. They feel like they have to.
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  They feel like they have to read whatever debt that they have
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  with whatever debt that they feel like they have, they have
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  to repay it to you. But whatever ego debt, whatever
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  like debt you hit them with, they have to repay it to you.
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  So yes, they're going to hurt your feelings.
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  Yes, they're going to try to break your heart.
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  Yes, they're going to try to punish you because you've done
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  something something to them and it's crazy.
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  The crazy thing about it is about this is y'all, they can
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  try to keep you from going to sleep at night because they
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  cheated on you and you caught them.
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  I'm not going to sleep until you apologize for going through my
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  phone. I mean, you're not going to
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  sleep until you apologize for what you did.
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  And you're like, what the what? I do you what?
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  You don't want cheating. I don't.
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  You mad, 'cause I caught you. I can't go to sleep until I
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  apologize for catching you stepping outside that
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  relationship. You're angry at that.
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  Get the hell out of here. But this is the type of stuff
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  that you have to deal with when you're dealing with an abuser.
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  They've refused this, tries to refuse to be held accountable.
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  This is the mentality that a lot of narcissists will display.
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  They will try to hurt you in this way.
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  They will try to do this type of stuff to you.
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  It's part of their it's part of their mindset.
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  You know, it really is. It's part of their mindset.
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  It's part of their mentality. It's part of the stuff that they
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  like to do because they feel like they get a good benefit
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  from doing it. Well, Lee, how the hell did they
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  get a benefit from hurting us? Because they Lee, how the hell
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  did they get a benefit for keeping keeping us up at night?
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  Because you cracked their ego. You brought a lot of shame into
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  their life. And until they until they get
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  their, their, their, until they get their pound of flesh or they
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  draw blood. Not literally, not not not
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  literally, but I'm not literally.
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  They won't let you. They won't leave you alone.
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  You brought shame onto me. I cannot let you go to sleep.
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  You shamed me. I cannot let you go to sleep
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  because you brought shame into my life.
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  You hurt my feelings. I cannot let you go to sleep
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  because of it. You boys shame into my life.
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  You expose, you threatened to expose me.
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  You did this, you did that like you hurt their you cracked their
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  ego. Now imagine you causing a
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  narcissistic injury. A narcissistic injury is a huge
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  crack to a narcissist, right? You pretty much shattered their
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  entire ego. They've been exposed for who
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  they really are. You see them for who they really
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  are. You're asking going cancel
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  sleep. You might as well you like you
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  might as well. You might as well cancel sleep
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  because they're cancel, cancel sleep because they're going to
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  try to keep your ass up forever forever.
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  And the crazy thing about it is, it's kind of like narcissistic
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  people in this situation. Hold your sleep hostage, right?
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  They're like sleep terrorist. You want to go to sleep, Give me
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  what I want. Give me what I want.
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  Tell me what, Tell me what a bomb is and I'll let you go to
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  sleep. That's pretty much what they're
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  doing. But in this, in this situation,
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  the bomb is you apologizing for something that they have done to
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  you. You agreeing to to do something
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  heinous with them, for them or around them.
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  That's what the bomb is, right? That's literally what it will
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  look like. That's literally what it feels
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  like. That's literally the mindset of
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  all of this type of stuff. Y'all, they will hold your, your
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  sleep hostage until you agree. And guess what, y'all, You're
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  tired, you're delirious. They, whatever you agree to,
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  they will hold you to. You can say all you can say
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  that, y'all, you can say I was sleep.
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  I was super tired. I was just trying to get you to
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  shut up. Nope.
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  And they might even record you agreeing to whatever they say
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  it. And like, imagine agreeing.
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  Let's let's just say use this as a wild example right here,
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  'cause I, I have a friend in this, in this very situation
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  right here. Not a friend.
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  Old, old, old friend, old acquaintance.
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  Her husband literally holds her, holds her sleep hostage unless
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  she agrees to give him a threesome or something like
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  that. They were just insane.
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  Like she'll be trying to go to sleep.
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  They have like a couple, they have a few kids.
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  She'll be trying to go to sleep. And he just refuses to let her
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  go to sleep until she agrees to a threesome.
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  And then four, 4:30 in the morning, knowing that she has to
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  get up at 7, she just said, OK, whatever you want, whatever you
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  want, we'll just do, we'll set it up.
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  And I guess what, once he once he once she agrees to that, it's
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  like a damn near binding contract, right?
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  It's a binding contract to it, to them because you like, you
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  can't go to sleep, you know? No, I'm going to pout, I'm going
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  to whine. I'm going to be like a big ass
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  toddler because you agreed to do this.
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  I don't care if you were sleepy. You should have said you
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  shouldn't agree to it. They will hold you accountable.
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  Well, leave. What are we supposed to do if
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  they won't let us go to sleep? Yeah.
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  Look, I'm not telling you to leave your marriage, right?
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  And I'm also not telling you to agree to something that you
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  don't want to do. Don't do that.
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  Sometimes you have to force yourself to go to sleep.
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  Sometimes you have to go get a hotel.
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  Sometimes you have to call the police.
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  Sometimes you have to fight for your freedom.
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  You have to fight for your right to sleep, which is insane.
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  We have to fight for your right to go to sleep or you have to
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  agree to some stupid shit, some craziness that you absolutely do
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  not want to do. That's the situation they put
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  you in. That's the predicament that a
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  lot of narcissistic people will put you in.
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  You got to agree to doing some heinous craziness or forgiving
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  me or getting back with me or whatever it may be or not
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  telling the kids or doing this and doing that for them to like
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  do for them to let you go to sleep.
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  It is crazy out like I said, but so many people are in these
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  abusive relationships where they go through the same cycle over
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  and over again. So if you like said, if you want
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  to stay, sometimes you like, I'm just telling you this is you
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  can't think about this, right? Think about it like this.
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  You can't change them. You can't control them to
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  control the things that you feel like you have to actually have
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  control over. I said I call it the
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  controllables. Control the controllables.
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  The thing you actually have a hand in controlling the thing,
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  you actually have a hand and something to do it.
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  Control that stuff right there before something else happened,
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  before you do it, before you do anything else.
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  Get this to get that stuff under control.
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  And always, like I said, make a plan.
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  If you don't have a plan, I'm not talking about it.
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  I'm not always just talking about an escape plan.
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  I'm talking about a plan in general to deal with this type
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  of person. Like because some situations you
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  have to avoid. If you don't want to have a
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  threesome, don't have a threesome.
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  Like sometimes you don't. You might miss a night of sleep.
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  You might have a pouty ass husband or wife or whatever.
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  You might have a pouty ass boyfriend or girlfriend.
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  But hey, this is this is the mindset of a narcissist right
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  here. They're going to pout and be mad
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  as hell because they think you signed up for it because you're
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  with them. If you've forgiven me for it,
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  then you signed up for it. That's the wildness right there.
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  So that's why you. That's why a lot of narcissistic
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  people become repeat offenders in relationships.
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  If you forgive me for it, then you signed up for it as well,
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  y'all. Anyway, y'all, thank you for
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  tuning in to another episode. I appreciate every single one of
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  y'all. Like truly, truly do.
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  I'm grateful for you. Make sure you subscribe to the
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  channel, y'all. Subscribe to the channel.
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  And as always, y'all mental illness is peace.
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  Thank you so much for making it to the end of my video.
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  I am extremely grateful for you. Have no idea.
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  If you haven't already, make sure you go ahead and subscribe
• 11:28
  to the channel helps reach more people and click on the screen
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  to watch another video or to browse through another playlist.
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  There's also a link on the screen to check out my courses
• 11:36
  and my support groups to help you heal and understand what
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  you've been through. Thank you so much again.
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  I will see you in the next video.
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  Peace.