Latest / In My Hometown / Older Women Dating Younger Men? Vanessa Drozda on Age Gaps & Double Standards | Netflix’s Age of Attraction

Transcript

Older Women Dating Younger Men? Vanessa Drozda on Age Gaps & Double Standards | Netflix’s Age of Attraction · In My Hometown

• 0:00
  SPEAKER_02: Women over 40 are no longer being sidelined.
• 0:03
  SPEAKER_02: They're the romantic leads.
• 0:04
  SPEAKER_02: And that reflects a much bigger cultural conversation around midlife confidence, reinvention, desire, and visibility.
• 0:12
  SPEAKER_02: It's also a shift that's changing dating dynamics, with dating apps reporting a sharp increase in younger men wanting to date older women.
• 0:22
  SPEAKER_02: Well, Netflix's age of attraction put this all front and center.
• 0:26
  SPEAKER_02: And one of the most talked-about couples, Vanessa 49, and her boyfriend Logan 29.
• 0:32
  SPEAKER_02: Their relationship sparked a lot of online debate, challenged assumptions, and it tapped into this shift we're talking about.
• 0:39
  SPEAKER_02: Vanessa Drozda is here with us today, and we're going to talk all about attraction, emotional connection, and age gap dating.
• 0:47
  SPEAKER_02: You're in my hometown with Jamie and Pascal.
• 0:50
  SPEAKER_02: Stay with us.
• 1:10
  SPEAKER_02: Hi Vanessa, we're so happy you're with us today.
• 1:12
  SPEAKER_02: Thank you.
• 1:13
  SPEAKER_02: Happy to be here.
• 1:14
  SPEAKER_02: Yeah, it's great in Chicago.
• 1:16
  SPEAKER_02: And uh we have been talking about you for some time.
• 1:19
  SPEAKER_02: Pascal uh wanted to have you on the show, and uh, we're happy you're here.
• 1:24
  SPEAKER_00: Yes, so I had the chance to have Vanessa the whole weekend.
• 1:26
  SPEAKER_00: And her and I have spent a lot of time talking about the relationship, uh, particularly about the age differences between her and Logan, which is 20 years difference.
• 1:36
  SPEAKER_00: And the question I have for you right now is if you go from you know, usually older men are dating younger women, it's very unusual.
• 1:45
  SPEAKER_00: I mean, it's more a movement now where younger younger men are dating older women, but where do you see yourself in the next 10 years when you'll be 60, you'll be 40?
• 1:55
  SPEAKER_01: Yeah.
• 1:56
  SPEAKER_01: So you know, right now it it's it's hard to say.
• 1:59
  SPEAKER_01: So Logan and I, yes, we are 20 years apart, 20 years and five days to be exact.
• 2:04
  SPEAKER_01: And everything's I do feel like now younger men are dating older women.
• 2:11
  SPEAKER_01: It's not as taboo as it used to be, as you spoke of.
• 2:14
  SPEAKER_01: Um, before I felt, you know, it was older men dating younger women, people wouldn't think anything of it.
• 2:21
  SPEAKER_01: And now I think that the tides are shifting into, you know, more men are open to it and more women are open to it.
• 2:28
  SPEAKER_01: I think women of my age are more comfortable in their bodies and more comfortable in saying what they want.
• 2:34
  SPEAKER_01: And so right now, what it looks like it's it's we're we're having a great time, you know.
• 2:40
  SPEAKER_01: We're we're going with the flow.
• 2:42
  SPEAKER_01: Um, we're we're actually engaged.
• 2:44
  SPEAKER_01: Wow.
• 2:45
  SPEAKER_01: Congratulations.
• 2:46
  SPEAKER_01: Thank you.
• 2:47
  SPEAKER_02: Okay, are we breaking news today?
• 2:48
  SPEAKER_02: Or no, I missed it.
• 2:50
  SPEAKER_02: We got engaged.
• 2:53
  SPEAKER_02: You're right.
• 2:53
  SPEAKER_02: I knew that you got engaged.
• 2:54
  SPEAKER_02: Yeah, sorry.
• 2:54
  SPEAKER_02: That's okay.
• 2:55
  SPEAKER_01: Yeah.
• 2:55
  SPEAKER_01: Well, we had to hide the engagement until the show aired.
• 2:59
  SPEAKER_01: So uh so it was like almost a year.
• 3:02
  SPEAKER_01: So in that time, we really got to know each other.
• 3:05
  SPEAKER_01: And what we wanted to do was integrate each other into each other's lives.
• 3:09
  SPEAKER_01: So he came and met my family, my friends spent time with us.
• 3:12
  SPEAKER_01: I went and met his family and friends.
• 3:15
  SPEAKER_01: And yeah, right now, uh the age gap isn't even something we talk about.
• 3:19
  SPEAKER_01: Right.
• 3:19
  SPEAKER_01: It's not, it's not mentioned.
• 3:21
  SPEAKER_01: We don't think about it.
• 3:23
  SPEAKER_01: The only people that have something to say are people online, really.
• 3:27
  SPEAKER_01: Our families have embraced it, our friends have embraced it.
• 3:31
  SPEAKER_01: Nobody, strangers don't come up to you in public and be like, oh my gosh, you guys have an age gap.
• 3:36
  SPEAKER_01: You know, I don't, I don't think it's like a visual thing.
• 3:38
  SPEAKER_01: But, you know, what Pascal is asking is, what is that going to look like in so many years?
• 3:44
  SPEAKER_01: And I don't know what that's gonna look like.
• 3:46
  SPEAKER_01: But I will say, I've had so many people reach out to me online.
• 3:51
  SPEAKER_01: I I think that who I am, you know, call it a cougar, call it, I make jokes online that I'm a cougar and the cougar loves matter.
• 4:00
  SPEAKER_01: And I, you know, I like to make jokes about it.
• 4:02
  SPEAKER_01: And I can't tell you like the outpouring of women and men that are like, finally, somebody is representing us because I think that we're not being represented in media unless it's just like a sexual fling, like that movie with Nicole Kidman, baby girl, you know.
• 4:19
  SPEAKER_01: And it's like those were they they make it look like a man just wants to hook up with an older woman to put that notch on his bedpost and say, I was with a woman 20 years older than me.
• 4:30
  SPEAKER_01: Yeah.
• 4:30
  SPEAKER_01: Where, you know, now I think they're taking it into more consideration.
• 4:34
  SPEAKER_01: And I had somebody that reached out to me last night on Instagram.
• 4:38
  SPEAKER_01: He said, I'm 50, my wife's 70, and we've been married 25 years.
• 4:43
  SPEAKER_01: Yeah.
• 4:43
  SPEAKER_01: So who's to say that it's not gonna work?
• 4:45
  SPEAKER_01: You don't know.
• 4:46
  SPEAKER_01: Right.
• 4:46
  SPEAKER_01: It's amazing.
• 4:47
  SPEAKER_02: So you are you were 49 at the time of the show, and he was 29.
• 4:51
  SPEAKER_02: Now you're 50.
• 4:52
  SPEAKER_02: Welcome to the club.
• 4:53
  SPEAKER_02: Thank you.
• 4:53
  SPEAKER_02: It is a good club to be in, and uh, and he's now 30.
• 4:57
  SPEAKER_02: Yes.
• 4:58
  SPEAKER_02: Um, do you had you dated younger men before the show?
• 5:02
  SPEAKER_01: Not that young.
• 5:03
  SPEAKER_01: So I've dated men, they were probably seven, eight years younger than me, but nothing as far as as 20 years.
• 5:10
  SPEAKER_01: Yeah.
• 5:11
  SPEAKER_02: And what uh what first attracted you to him?
• 5:14
  SPEAKER_02: Because I know that on the show it was a lot about the the chemistry and sort of this you were looking for fireworks and the physical, physicalness of it.
• 5:23
  SPEAKER_02: Um, but was that uh that did that turn into something else?
• 5:28
  SPEAKER_02: Yeah, you know, quicker than you thought it would.
• 5:30
  SPEAKER_01: So actually, the reason I was attracted to him, I felt he was really authentic.
• 5:34
  SPEAKER_01: And so I I matched with another guy on the show and I thought he was just putting it on, you know, and he was not really being authentic, where Logan was someone he was questioning, like, what does this look like for us?
• 5:46
  SPEAKER_01: And I felt a sense of honesty and a sense of authenticity with him.
• 5:51
  SPEAKER_01: That's so great.
• 5:52
  SPEAKER_01: Right.
• 5:52
  SPEAKER_02: And so what has been the reaction from your family?
• 5:57
  SPEAKER_01: My family has been really supportive.
• 5:59
  SPEAKER_01: I think I'm just the wild child of the family, and I'm a free spirit, and I do what I want.
• 6:06
  SPEAKER_01: And I don't think that they were shocked in the least bit that I went on a show and then shocked in the least bit that I ended up with someone younger than me.
• 6:14
  SPEAKER_01: And I'm I'm very, very blessed to have a family that accepts me for who I am.
• 6:19
  SPEAKER_00: It's funny because she did a Tic Tac post where her father was there, and the introduction back at first said, Who is that baby?
• 6:26
  SPEAKER_00: Yeah, you know, I thought it was very cute.
• 6:28
  SPEAKER_00: He did a good job with that.
• 6:29
  SPEAKER_01: It was cute, yeah.
• 6:30
  SPEAKER_01: So my dad's been jumping in.
• 6:31
  SPEAKER_01: We've been doing a lot of fun things on Instagram and on TikTok, and that's what I'm saying.
• 6:36
  SPEAKER_01: I'm getting like such an outpouring of love for people, like finally, someone's representing what we have in our lives, you know.
• 6:42
  SPEAKER_02: Well, and representing, as you said, someone who is 50 and thriving.
• 6:48
  SPEAKER_02: I mean, you know, we we talk a lot on the show about age as being just a number, but age is also just perception of what we have.
• 6:55
  SPEAKER_02: Um, and so you were saying that in some of the portrayals in Hollywood, like with that baby girl, um, that, you know, that may not be as positive, although some people think it was very positive, this idea of a woman sort of being empowered to follow her desires, right?
• 7:12
  SPEAKER_02: Um, but I'm seeing uh a cultural shift, like with Michelle Pfeiffer, who's leading the Madison, right?
• 7:19
  SPEAKER_02: Or some of these uh older women, 40s, 50s, 60s, who are, like I said, playing the leading role, not relegated to the family matriarch who's back at home, you know.
• 7:29
  SPEAKER_02: And I think it's wonderful.
• 7:30
  SPEAKER_03: Yeah.
• 7:30
  SPEAKER_02: And do you think that that has that that something about that has sort of permeated society and that that would be a reason that younger men are looking at older women?
• 7:41
  SPEAKER_02: What do you what do you think is is behind it?
• 7:44
  SPEAKER_01: I this is what I think this trend.
• 7:46
  SPEAKER_01: Yeah, this is what I think.
• 7:47
  SPEAKER_01: I think uh a young- Tell us what you think.
• 7:49
  SPEAKER_01: Yes, this isn't what I think, and this is my experience, is that I think that, you know, I because I've I've been in these relationships in my 20s, 30s, 40s, 50s.
• 7:58
  SPEAKER_01: So looking at it now, um now that I'm 50, I'm very secure in who I am.
• 8:04
  SPEAKER_01: I don't need validation, I don't need somebody to give me a child, I don't need somebody to pay my bills.
• 8:13
  SPEAKER_01: Like I'm looking for a partner and someone I can spend my life with.
• 8:16
  SPEAKER_01: And I think when a man sees that, a woman who's very confident in herself and isn't just needy, like there's there's some kind of attraction to that.
• 8:26
  SPEAKER_01: And I don't I think this younger generation is not always looking for some of the people don't want to have children.
• 8:34
  SPEAKER_01: And you know, some do and some don't.
• 8:36
  SPEAKER_01: Where, you know, if if you're 30 and you marry a 30-year-old girl, her clock is starting to tick and she wants babies and she's gonna tell you, I I want a family, I want this.
• 8:45
  SPEAKER_01: And if you're not ready for that now, and that pr that could put a lot of pressure on things where a man could date a woman that's who's already had her children and he they can just enjoy their lives together.
• 8:55
  SPEAKER_02: So you have you don't want children or you I have a daughter.
• 8:58
  SPEAKER_02: Oh, you have a daughter, okay.
• 8:59
  SPEAKER_02: Yeah, yes, I have a grown daughter, and so you don't that you're not necessarily looking to have an another child.
• 9:04
  SPEAKER_01: I I mean, if I had a partner that wanted a child, yeah, I we could look at that, and there's ways to look at it.
• 9:10
  SPEAKER_01: There's adoption, surrogacy, those types of things.
• 9:13
  SPEAKER_01: Um, my my partner does not want children at this point, and we've talked about how this can change, you know.
• 9:19
  SPEAKER_00: And I mean, at 30 years old, uh, you know, you don't know, you try to find a little bit your identity, who you are, and you try to discover yourself.
• 9:27
  SPEAKER_00: And as you get older, you value need change.
• 9:29
  SPEAKER_00: And you might say, Hey, I want children, and now it's five years one between the time you met, now you're 55 and he's 35.
• 9:37
  SPEAKER_00: That's where the the the conflict comes up.
• 9:39
  SPEAKER_00: Yeah, do we adopt?
• 9:41
  SPEAKER_00: Do we have a surrogate?
• 9:42
  SPEAKER_00: I mean, you know, I I it's a it's a very uh challenging situation at that time where you know you've got to be able to have a strong communication with your partner to be able to uh decide what is the future and uh and and and and make you know, marriage is a is a contract.
• 9:58
  SPEAKER_00: You know, relationship is a commitment, so you gotta have a strong communication to be able to decide that.
• 10:04
  SPEAKER_00: And I I had a chance to meet Logan yesterday, he was on the FaceTime with Vanessa, and uh I would have to say for a 30 years old, and I told you that after we hang up the phone, he's a very mature young man, which is very unusual.
• 10:17
  SPEAKER_00: At 30 years old, you know, all over the board, you want to watch football, you want to, you want to drink, you want to be with your buddy, but these kids seem like he's really very much into you.
• 10:27
  SPEAKER_02: Yeah.
• 10:27
  SPEAKER_02: So do you think you guys meet in the middle then?
• 10:30
  SPEAKER_02: Like you're a little bit younger at heart and he's older, or you feel like it's just not even that, it's just uh your values and and what you're doing.
• 10:37
  SPEAKER_01: Yeah, I think we have a lot of things in common.
• 10:39
  SPEAKER_01: Like the we we like to exercise, we like to eat healthy, uh, we enjoy the same type of music, the same type of movies.
• 10:46
  SPEAKER_01: And it's just like to me, I never think of him as a number or an age.
• 10:51
  SPEAKER_01: You know, and like I hung out with Pascal, and I don't ever think of Pascal as a number age.
• 10:56
  SPEAKER_01: Like I look at someone that they're just a soul and they're just a person.
• 11:00
  SPEAKER_01: And am I vibing with this person?
• 11:01
  SPEAKER_01: Am I connecting with this person?
• 11:03
  SPEAKER_01: I love that.
• 11:04
  SPEAKER_02: I did see that there during the show, Logan seemed to struggle at the at the beginning a little bit with um, I don't want to say, I don't remember if he used the word controlling, but I think he did struggle a little bit with the tensions of the two of you.
• 11:19
  SPEAKER_02: How did you guys what was your reaction to that?
• 11:21
  SPEAKER_02: And how did you guys overcome it?
• 11:22
  SPEAKER_02: And do you still have that issue?
• 11:24
  SPEAKER_01: Yes.
• 11:25
  SPEAKER_01: So we are a little bit different personalities in the way of like, I am super OCD.
• 11:30
  SPEAKER_01: I like everything like this.
• 11:31
  SPEAKER_01: I run a schedule, we go here, we leave at this time, we do that.
• 11:34
  SPEAKER_01: And he's more type B.
• 11:36
  SPEAKER_01: Like, I'll get ready when I feel like it.
• 11:39
  SPEAKER_01: I want to go look at the sun for a little bit.
• 11:42
  SPEAKER_01: And I'm like, that's great, but we have to go.
• 11:44
  SPEAKER_01: Right.
• 11:45
  SPEAKER_01: So I mean, that's just personality differences, and I don't think that that's specifically an age thing because I don't I don't look at him being 40, 50 and changing.
• 11:53
  SPEAKER_01: Like I see him like this is just don't you think that's an age 10?
• 11:57
  SPEAKER_00: Don't you think at 30 years old you much more lay back, relax, you have the time of the world, you don't you wouldn't, but you know, that's a different.
• 12:06
  SPEAKER_00: So I think you know, I think a man reached a certain maturity when he reached his mid 30s, late 30s.
• 12:12
  SPEAKER_00: You know, at 30 years old, you know, I mean he's still in the beginning of his career where he started building.
• 12:17
  SPEAKER_01: Yes.
• 12:17
  SPEAKER_00: So you know, you're gonna expect him to be more laid back and more relaxed and no pressure.
• 12:22
  SPEAKER_00: And you know, is when you get kids and family, then that's when the pressure comes up.
• 12:26
  SPEAKER_00: Yeah.
• 12:27
  SPEAKER_02: But you're saying yes, but you're you're saying I think it's interesting because I didn't really see it that way.
• 12:31
  SPEAKER_02: You're not chalking, you can't chalk everything up in the relationship to age.
• 12:36
  SPEAKER_02: Yeah, it's a lot of just our behavior.
• 12:38
  SPEAKER_02: Exactly.
• 12:39
  SPEAKER_02: I tend to be a little bit controlling, yeah.
• 12:41
  SPEAKER_02: Um, but I don't know that that's necessarily.
• 12:43
  SPEAKER_02: No way.
• 12:44
  SPEAKER_02: You have to be able to do that.
• 12:44
  SPEAKER_02: I could hold that.
• 12:45
  SPEAKER_02: I pulled that once or twice.
• 12:47
  SPEAKER_02: I didn't so but you know, if if I was dating someone younger, I could see that it would just be sort of looked at like I'm the being older, the the sort of more motherly, but it's not, it's just your personality.
• 13:01
  SPEAKER_02: But I don't also know if I was this way when I was young, maybe.
• 13:04
  SPEAKER_01: Uh I was the oldest of my siblings, so oldest of my cousins.
• 13:08
  SPEAKER_01: So I was always the ringleader and everything we were doing.
• 13:11
  SPEAKER_01: And then I was a single mother at 18 years old.
• 13:14
  SPEAKER_01: And so I had to put myself through college, I had to work, and I had to come home and I had to take care of myself, I had to take care of my daughter, and I didn't have a I didn't have time to go look at the sun or sleep in or not follow a schedule.
• 13:28
  SPEAKER_01: So maybe I I feel like I came out of the womb running, like, and that's just my personality.
• 13:35
  SPEAKER_01: And I've probably been like that my whole life.
• 13:37
  SPEAKER_01: And you know, maybe he will change and mature and and be more organized and on time, and that would be amazing if he did that.
• 13:44
  SPEAKER_01: But I feel like the majority of our fights are those small fights that are like, Are you ready?
• 13:49
  SPEAKER_01: Is it time to go?
• 13:50
  SPEAKER_01: Like, we don't have big fights about our future, big fights about you know, trust or anything like that.
• 13:57
  SPEAKER_01: It's just more like, are you on time?
• 13:59
  SPEAKER_01: Are you did you get this picked up?
• 14:01
  SPEAKER_01: Did you do that sort of thing?
• 14:03
  SPEAKER_00: Let's just go back a little bit farther, okay?
• 14:06
  SPEAKER_00: You uh Jimmy and I had the chance to watch the show, and you're on the show you mentioned and you were engaged four times.
• 14:12
  SPEAKER_01: I was okay.
• 14:15
  SPEAKER_01: Yeah, okay.
• 14:16
  SPEAKER_00: I did my study.
• 14:17
  SPEAKER_01: Okay, did you get rings?
• 14:18
  SPEAKER_01: Did you get I know you no you are you you went deep in?
• 14:21
  SPEAKER_00: I went deep in, and I will talk about so you got engaged four times, and this is the fifth times.
• 14:26
  SPEAKER_00: Could you tell Jimmy and I what why are you always making a commitment but you don't follow through?
• 14:32
  SPEAKER_00: What is the challenges of those four engagements where you are single to mean you are engaged today?
• 14:39
  SPEAKER_01: Yeah.
• 14:40
  SPEAKER_01: So um my engagements were one per decade, and so it's not like you know, it's back to back to back to back.
• 14:46
  SPEAKER_01: So my first one, I was 18 years old, right out of high school, and we he was gonna go to the military, we got engaged, and then oopsie, I got pregnant.
• 14:55
  SPEAKER_01: Um, it didn't really work out, and then I found someone else, and we were, he helped me raise my daughter.
• 15:01
  SPEAKER_01: He was an incredible guy, but at the end of the day, you know, it just didn't work out.
• 15:06
  SPEAKER_01: And so, continuing that as it went on, there were reasons it didn't work out.
• 15:10
  SPEAKER_01: But to me, like I love hard and I really pour myself into things.
• 15:16
  SPEAKER_01: So when I'm with somebody and I see a future with them, I like the fact that we're engaged because you know, we're in this world right now where everyone's doing a situationship and I'm dating someone and I don't want to give it a label and I'm gonna hang out with you every day and sleep over at your house and meet your family, but we're not in a boyfriend, girlfriend relationship, you know, and and and to me, I'm like, what is this?
• 15:39
  SPEAKER_01: I want to clarify what our relationship is.
• 15:42
  SPEAKER_01: So if I'm engaged to somebody, I feel like we to me that's saying we're committed and we're building towards the future.
• 15:49
  SPEAKER_02: And so have your other engagements been as long as this, or were they short engagements?
• 15:54
  SPEAKER_01: No, I mean, I would say each of my relationships, I would say lasted three to four years, or like three to five years with them.
• 16:01
  SPEAKER_01: And so then there were some gaps in between.
• 16:03
  SPEAKER_00: It's like listening a car.
• 16:04
  SPEAKER_00: You use it for 36 months and turn it back.
• 16:06
  SPEAKER_00: Am I right?
• 16:07
  SPEAKER_00: Exactly.
• 16:08
  SPEAKER_00: I like that idea.
• 16:09
  SPEAKER_00: You don't like it, boom, you turn it back.
• 16:11
  SPEAKER_00: You beat it up a little bit in between, and you know.
• 16:13
  SPEAKER_01: And and and maybe talking about aging and maybe maturing as I was moving along, I felt like I outgrew these guys.
• 16:20
  SPEAKER_01: Okay, you know, and because I'm such a go, go, go person and I want so many things for my life that eventually I outgrew the person I was with.
• 16:29
  SPEAKER_01: So it would be interesting now, because before the the two first ones were my age, the two second ones were like seven and then eight years younger than me.
• 16:38
  SPEAKER_01: And so now this is a different dynamic for me where I'm with a person 20 years younger.
• 16:42
  SPEAKER_01: Like, will I outgrow him or will he outgrow me?
• 16:46
  SPEAKER_01: Like, you know, we don't know.
• 16:48
  SPEAKER_01: But why not give it a try?
• 16:49
  SPEAKER_00: So, what is the biggest challenge of that relationship you have with Logan?
• 16:53
  SPEAKER_00: I think you and I talked a little bit about it, and you talk about the distance with a situation.
• 16:57
  SPEAKER_00: Yes.
• 16:58
  SPEAKER_00: Uh, do you think that if it was living closer to you, do you think you would spend more time with each other than the the relationship would be closer?
• 17:05
  SPEAKER_01: For sure.
• 17:06
  SPEAKER_01: So the interesting part about my relationship with Logan is we met, we knew each other a couple weeks, and we moved in together.
• 17:13
  SPEAKER_01: So we lived together on the show for almost three weeks in an apartment or in a condo together.
• 17:18
  SPEAKER_01: So I it's like we really bonded in that amount of time.
• 17:22
  SPEAKER_01: And so when people are like, How could you walk away from this thing and be on the show?
• 17:27
  SPEAKER_01: And you were there for a month and you want to be engaged with someone.
• 17:30
  SPEAKER_01: I mean, this was something I haven't experienced with somebody else.
• 17:34
  SPEAKER_01: So we had this amazing bond, and we did walk away with a commitment, which showed to me he wants to work on something for a future.
• 17:41
  SPEAKER_01: So the challenge is he lives in Dallas and I live in Ohio.
• 17:46
  SPEAKER_01: And um, I run my own salon.
• 17:48
  SPEAKER_01: I'm a hairstylist, just like Pasqua's trading secrets.
• 17:52
  SPEAKER_01: Yes, he is actually.
• 17:54
  SPEAKER_00: She came up and I gave her some point to how to bring a business to the next level.
• 17:58
  SPEAKER_00: And uh hopefully she follows some of my advice because I think it's good, and uh, you know, I should have had you do my hair because like that.
• 18:07
  SPEAKER_00: That's why I called you on Saturday, Jimmy, to come up over.
• 18:12
  SPEAKER_01: That would have been great.
• 18:13
  SPEAKER_01: Yes, so yeah.
• 18:14
  SPEAKER_01: So that's so the challenge is I'm running my business and he's working for a business there.
• 18:19
  SPEAKER_01: And um, we finished filming at the end of June.
• 18:23
  SPEAKER_01: He came up July twice, and I was there August, and then he injured his Achilles tendon in September.
• 18:30
  SPEAKER_01: So he has been going through multiple surgeries trying to get that repaired.
• 18:33
  SPEAKER_01: So that's been a big challenge for us too.
• 18:36
  SPEAKER_01: Where it was he can't travel as much.
• 18:38
  SPEAKER_01: Well, we still travel when we see each other back and forth, but he's just trying to heal his injury, and he's like, How am I supposed to go interview for other jobs and move when I'm on this big scooter and I don't know when I'm gonna be healed?
• 18:50
  SPEAKER_01: So, you know, we've been navigating the distance, we've been navigating his injury, and you know, once we can maybe towards the end of the year, we can work towards getting together, living together, spending more time together.
• 19:03
  SPEAKER_00: So the the 10 we talk also about is the finance.
• 19:07
  SPEAKER_01: Yes.
• 19:07
  SPEAKER_00: Okay, you told me then uh, you know, he's in a stage where he's built in his career, and uh, you seem like you have your business going and you're financially secure, you've done very well with your investment.
• 19:17
  SPEAKER_00: How do you feel about the finance?
• 19:19
  SPEAKER_00: How do you feel like is he able to uh live your lifestyle?
• 19:23
  SPEAKER_00: Like you said, you want to travel, is he able to travel with you?
• 19:26
  SPEAKER_00: Is he able to uh establish a you know?
• 19:30
  SPEAKER_01: Yeah, you know, and that's it.
• 19:31
  SPEAKER_01: Yeah, I've I'm fulfilled my career.
• 19:33
  SPEAKER_01: I'm in a really comfortable place where I'm just skating through life and he's getting started in you know, this big business.
• 19:40
  SPEAKER_01: And he does well for himself, you know, and he's got room to grow and within there, and we actually make the same amount of money.
• 19:48
  SPEAKER_01: It's just he lives in a bigger city and I live in a smaller city.
• 19:51
  SPEAKER_01: But yeah, it, you know, he's at a place now he can't just take off of work when you you know, when we work for ourselves, we can pack up and go anytime.
• 20:00
  SPEAKER_01: Like he's has to put vacation time in, he's got an injury he's working with, he's got he's still securing all of his finances and what he's doing in life.
• 20:09
  SPEAKER_01: So that does put a little damper on things for now for sure.
• 20:12
  SPEAKER_02: You guys are very so you're what you're saying is you're very committed.
• 20:15
  SPEAKER_02: It's just that it's not something that can be done overnight.
• 20:18
  SPEAKER_02: Yes.
• 20:19
  SPEAKER_02: Were you surprised that your relationship has gone this long uh, you know, uh past the show?
• 20:27
  SPEAKER_02: Yeah.
• 20:28
  SPEAKER_02: Okay.
• 20:28
  SPEAKER_01: I mean, honestly, it's it's been so a year, a year and a day ago, I flew out to do this show.
• 20:34
  SPEAKER_01: So it's been exactly a year.
• 20:36
  SPEAKER_01: Um, we finished filming June of last year.
• 20:39
  SPEAKER_01: Did I think we were gonna go to the distance?
• 20:42
  SPEAKER_01: I didn't know we were gonna last a whole year, and here we are.
• 20:46
  SPEAKER_01: And you know, we've been through so many things, but at the end of the day, like we keep showing up for each other.
• 20:51
  SPEAKER_01: And it's like things happen, things aren't perfect, but we choose each other every single time.
• 20:57
  SPEAKER_02: You'd mentioned that you, if you'd seen Logan on a dating app, you would not have swiped because his bio, just like his profile wouldn't, or his age essentially would have been the age.
• 21:07
  SPEAKER_02: So, um what would you tell other women who I'm sure you have some friends that are single or just other women that are in the dating mix that are not letting themselves that are sort of putting some of those guardrails up?
• 21:20
  SPEAKER_02: Yeah.
• 21:21
  SPEAKER_02: I guess it depends what your goals are.
• 21:23
  SPEAKER_01: You know, if your goal is, and and it was something like I was manifesting for myself is I want somebody who doesn't have a lot of baggage, you know, there's no ex-wife, there's no kids.
• 21:32
  SPEAKER_01: It's a beautiful thing, you know.
• 21:34
  SPEAKER_01: He can just do whatever he wants, and and it's like he's a clean slate, you know.
• 21:39
  SPEAKER_01: So I I that's one good thing about dating somebody younger.
• 21:43
  SPEAKER_01: Um maybe open your mind to it if you're looking for something.
• 21:48
  SPEAKER_01: If you're looking for someone that's gonna financially take care of you, it's probably not the best, best thing to do if you're looking for that.
• 21:56
  SPEAKER_01: So it's really just depends on what your goals are.
• 21:58
  SPEAKER_02: That is that that's really interesting.
• 22:00
  SPEAKER_02: Interesting, that idea of because we have talked to some other women and men, and just around that idea that uh there they have multiple divorces and there's kids and you know, all of that baggage, as you said, which is wonderful life life essentially your baggage.
• 22:15
  SPEAKER_02: But you were looking for someone who had a little bit more less of that.
• 22:19
  SPEAKER_02: Um, what do you think that he uh takes away from from the relationship with you?
• 22:25
  SPEAKER_02: Was he always dating older women?
• 22:27
  SPEAKER_02: I don't remember him saying that in the packages.
• 22:30
  SPEAKER_01: Yeah, he I think he dated more close to his age, but then he would go out with women.
• 22:35
  SPEAKER_01: He said he would go out, like get on the apps and go out with older women.
• 22:38
  SPEAKER_01: He wasn't afraid to do that.
• 22:39
  SPEAKER_01: So I think he's w went through a whole age range of that.
• 22:43
  SPEAKER_01: And I think for for me, I bring to the table, like because he is a little scatterbrain, like I'm a little more organized and I do have a little more life experience.
• 22:52
  SPEAKER_01: And I think that that's something that's been helpful for him to focus and you know, start moving forward in life.
• 22:58
  SPEAKER_01: It's like he left his 20s behind, he met me, he turned 30 like a couple months after meeting me, and he's just heading in a different trajectory of his life now.
• 23:07
  SPEAKER_00: You know, we had we had Teresa uh a couple weeks ago, and I asked her a question.
• 23:12
  SPEAKER_00: Obviously, uh, you know, we had the chance to watch the the reunion, which is Bruto.
• 23:17
  SPEAKER_02: Yeah, I watched all three hours.
• 23:18
  SPEAKER_02: Yeah, yeah, Brutal.
• 23:20
  SPEAKER_00: Okay, I mean it was uh I mean she sat in the couch for about two and a half hours without said a word.
• 23:25
  SPEAKER_00: So we had Teresa in here and I asked her a question.
• 23:27
  SPEAKER_00: I said Teresa, I said if you were if you was 54 57 54 years old, Teresa, I said if you were 54 years old and he was 27, would you date him?
• 23:37
  SPEAKER_00: She said, absolutely not.
• 23:39
  SPEAKER_00: So it's okay for her to date a 27, but it's not okay for a 27 to date a 54.
• 23:46
  SPEAKER_00: So how do you feel about if he was 50 and you were 30?
• 23:51
  SPEAKER_00: How would you feel about the relationship?
• 23:52
  SPEAKER_00: Do you think that relationship will have a better future?
• 23:55
  SPEAKER_01: I mean, I think if a woman was 30 and a guy was 50, it it could work out.
• 23:59
  SPEAKER_01: I I don't think that there's anything gross about that at all.
• 24:03
  SPEAKER_01: Like that's just a somebody's own perception of how they feel about it.
• 24:07
  SPEAKER_01: But for me, I just think, like I said, we're all just these souls in this body, and are we vibing, are we connecting?
• 24:13
  SPEAKER_01: Um and if a woman's goal is, yeah, I want someone that's older than me, I want someone that's a protector, I want someone that can financially take care of me, I want someone that can travel and do these things, you know, if that's if that's the woman's goal, like it would be great.
• 24:27
  SPEAKER_01: And you know, a man could have a baby at any time in life, you know.
• 24:31
  SPEAKER_01: So if a woman, if you would meet a younger woman and she would want a baby, then you could still give her a baby, you know.
• 24:38
  SPEAKER_01: So I think it would be easier if the man was older than the than the the woman.
• 24:43
  SPEAKER_01: It would be easier, maybe is the right word I want to say.
• 24:46
  SPEAKER_02: Yeah, I think so much of um of the societal sort of norm of older man and younger woman, it has to do with uh, of course, that uh the the babies, yeah, the biological biological I would say it's more financially, Jimmy.
• 25:01
  SPEAKER_00: I just think then a younger woman will go out with the older man because of a financial situation.
• 25:07
  SPEAKER_00: I'm a great believer than an attractive looking woman who go out with a guy who's 20, 25, 30 years older than him is because there is a financial situation where he's taking care of it.
• 25:18
  SPEAKER_00: And I believe then they have an arrangement and an agreement on that.
• 25:22
  SPEAKER_00: I have a couple of friends of mine who are in that situation, who has a younger woman, they know where they stand, she takes care of me, I take care of her, and that's why she's not working, she's driving a bentless and whatever.
• 25:35
  SPEAKER_00: And that's the it's it's very common.
• 25:37
  SPEAKER_00: It's very common.
• 25:39
  SPEAKER_02: Yes, um, but what we are like what's so interesting is that right now in society we are seeing so much more interest of younger men dating older women, and what and then women, I think Gen X women, I think there was a stat of one in four Gen X uh women who are are fantasizing about younger men.
• 26:01
  SPEAKER_02: So there's definitely something that's in the air, something that we started the show about, which is women and sort of stepping into our own women who are in their 40s, 50s, and 60s being seen as beautiful and not set out to pasture, and that we're owning our sexuality more.
• 26:18
  SPEAKER_02: So, do you what what's your take a little bit on that?
• 26:21
  SPEAKER_01: Yeah, definitely.
• 26:22
  SPEAKER_01: I do find that I'm more comfortable in my body at 50 than I was at 30, than I was at 40.
• 26:29
  SPEAKER_01: And I really am stepping into a place like I own myself, and I I never feel embarrassed when I'm with them.
• 26:36
  SPEAKER_01: I never think about what it is.
• 26:37
  SPEAKER_01: We take bathing suit pictures together.
• 26:40
  SPEAKER_01: Yeah, I see some of them and then viewer.
• 26:43
  SPEAKER_00: She's in a good shape.
• 26:44
  SPEAKER_01: Yeah.
• 26:44
  SPEAKER_01: So I but not in good shape for 50.
• 26:46
  SPEAKER_01: You're just in good shape.
• 26:47
  SPEAKER_01: Thank you.
• 26:48
  SPEAKER_01: Thank you.
• 26:49
  SPEAKER_00: Yeah, she's in a good shape period.
• 26:51
  SPEAKER_00: No, not detailed.
• 26:52
  SPEAKER_01: And something, you know, I have a lot of energy in that, you know, I need someone that has a lot of energy to keep up with me, you know.
• 26:59
  SPEAKER_01: So I feel like women in uh this generation, like we are taking care of ourselves better and we are capable of being with a younger man and keeping up with a younger man.
• 27:09
  SPEAKER_01: Is sex better with a younger man?
• 27:11
  SPEAKER_01: Oh, geez.
• 27:13
  SPEAKER_02: Um, I mean, you opened the door on the show.
• 27:16
  SPEAKER_02: On the show, you did talk, Vanessa, and you were like, I want the fireworks.
• 27:20
  SPEAKER_02: I don't, you know, and and you, I think maybe some of that was just that interest and intrigue of this younger man.
• 27:26
  SPEAKER_02: Yeah.
• 27:27
  SPEAKER_02: I'm assuming.
• 27:27
  SPEAKER_01: I mean, there's we have a lot of attractions, we have a lot of fire with each other.
• 27:32
  SPEAKER_01: I mean, he's he's gorgeous.
• 27:33
  SPEAKER_01: He is.
• 27:34
  SPEAKER_01: He's yeah, so yeah, we definitely have.
• 27:36
  SPEAKER_01: I I haven't been with anyone else, right?
• 27:39
  SPEAKER_01: This much of an age difference that I have something to compare it to.
• 27:42
  SPEAKER_01: And I can't tell you the last time I was with somebody my age.
• 27:45
  SPEAKER_01: Right.
• 27:46
  SPEAKER_01: So yeah, I mean, but yeah.
• 27:50
  SPEAKER_00: So she told me that she was before she met Logan, she was living with a guy with her age, and the guy was like overweight and oh no, that was like the options for me, you know, is finding people my age.
• 28:00
  SPEAKER_01: Like not all the I mean, I live in the Midwest, not all men take care of themselves, and I don't feel physically attracted to them.
• 28:08
  SPEAKER_01: And you know, I I want I definitely I take care of my body, so I want a partner that takes care of his body, regardless of his age, you know what I mean?
• 28:16
  SPEAKER_01: Like I and I'm gonna have sexual attraction to somebody who takes care of themselves and takes takes pride pride in their body.
• 28:23
  SPEAKER_01: Exactly.
• 28:24
  SPEAKER_01: Yeah.
• 28:24
  SPEAKER_02: I I think um what what are you seeing your friends?
• 28:28
  SPEAKER_02: Are your friends feeling the same way?
• 28:29
  SPEAKER_02: Um, and have they been now dating younger men?
• 28:32
  SPEAKER_01: Uh so one of my friends, she's younger than me, actually, but she's she's open, she was open to dating somebody.
• 28:38
  SPEAKER_01: Was she on the show?
• 28:38
  SPEAKER_01: Yeah, okay, yeah, yeah.
• 28:39
  SPEAKER_01: Yeah, Haley.
• 28:40
  SPEAKER_01: I know she she has before.
• 28:42
  SPEAKER_01: She'll, you know, and it's funny, she'll say to me, Oh my gosh, she's five years younger.
• 28:45
  SPEAKER_01: I'm like, place.
• 28:46
  SPEAKER_01: And look at you, you're such a cougar.
• 28:49
  SPEAKER_02: What do you think of that?
• 28:50
  SPEAKER_02: You use the word cougar a couple times right now.
• 28:52
  SPEAKER_02: Uh I used to hate it.
• 28:54
  SPEAKER_02: Yeah, right.
• 28:54
  SPEAKER_02: Yeah.
• 28:55
  SPEAKER_00: Cougar is in the 50s of the what is the 50s?
• 28:58
  SPEAKER_00: Is it?
• 28:58
  SPEAKER_01: Cougar was anything over four?
• 29:02
  SPEAKER_00: Horrible.
• 29:02
  SPEAKER_00: Is a cougar?
• 29:03
  SPEAKER_01: So let me let me tell you my thoughts on cougar, okay?
• 29:07
  SPEAKER_01: I hated the name and I hated the stigma because it sounds like the woman is the pursuer and she's the one that's sinking her closet.
• 29:16
  SPEAKER_01: Let me tell you, these young men are hunting us down.
• 29:20
  SPEAKER_01: These young men, I hear women all the time.
• 29:23
  SPEAKER_01: I have guys 25, 30, a guy I work with, he's younger than me, he won't leave me alone.
• 29:28
  SPEAKER_01: You know, these men are going after the women.
• 29:31
  SPEAKER_01: Trust me, we are not going after them.
• 29:34
  SPEAKER_01: They're coming after us.
• 29:36
  SPEAKER_01: So I use the word just to be a little bit more provocative and it gets people's attention.
• 29:43
  SPEAKER_01: What else do we call them?
• 29:44
  SPEAKER_01: So I say it, and I wore a shirt online and I got a little heated debate debate, but it said cougar lives matter.
• 29:51
  SPEAKER_00: Because Cougar Lives Matter.
• 29:53
  SPEAKER_00: Yeah.
• 29:53
  SPEAKER_00: Okay.
• 29:54
  SPEAKER_01: Because people are like diminishing us and they're making us like we're not or a bad person, or we're taking advantage of these young boys.
• 30:02
  SPEAKER_01: Trust me, we're not.
• 30:03
  SPEAKER_01: They love it.
• 30:05
  SPEAKER_00: I'm sure.
• 30:06
  SPEAKER_00: You know, we've been talking about the age of attraction.
• 30:08
  SPEAKER_00: Could we show the picture of you in the in the oh yeah?
• 30:12
  SPEAKER_01: This is the cast.
• 30:13
  SPEAKER_00: This is the cast, and uh, and uh, we have a picture of you where uh there you are, uh-huh, and then uh how you call it, we'd like to see the picture of you.
• 30:22
  SPEAKER_00: Logan and Logan, yes, here in here in Logan.
• 30:24
  SPEAKER_01: So, do you guys still talk to a lot of the cast?
• 30:27
  SPEAKER_01: We do, yeah.
• 30:28
  SPEAKER_01: Logan talks to everyone, he's a super nice guy, he enjoys everyone.
• 30:33
  SPEAKER_01: I have a handful of people that I I talk to more so than others, and I keep in touch with more so than others.
• 30:38
  SPEAKER_01: And I'm actually leaving in a couple days to go to Italy with Leah from the show.
• 30:42
  SPEAKER_02: Oh, fun.
• 30:43
  SPEAKER_01: We're doing a girls' trip.
• 30:44
  SPEAKER_01: So Logan is is still repairing from his surgery.
• 30:47
  SPEAKER_01: He's on a scooter, and we have our dream of going to Italy, and we're saving, I'm saving the Amalfi coast for him.
• 30:53
  SPEAKER_01: Amazing when he can uh do some cobblestones and some stairs.
• 30:57
  SPEAKER_01: So in the meanwhile, he gave his blessing.
• 30:59
  SPEAKER_01: Yeah, you find a 30-year-old, and turns out he's handicapped for the last nine months.
• 31:04
  SPEAKER_01: I'm like, this didn't pan out exactly how I thought it was gonna be.
• 31:07
  SPEAKER_02: So Leah was the one that dated Chris, right?
• 31:11
  SPEAKER_01: And he was 60.
• 31:12
  SPEAKER_02: He did not, right?
• 31:13
  SPEAKER_01: No, no, no, no.
• 31:14
  SPEAKER_01: Leah dated Chris and Chris was 26.
• 31:16
  SPEAKER_00: 26.
• 31:17
  SPEAKER_01: And he wasn't ready to commit.
• 31:19
  SPEAKER_00: The black the black.
• 31:22
  SPEAKER_00: Okay, yeah, and then he didn't commit.
• 31:23
  SPEAKER_02: Okay, yeah.
• 31:24
  SPEAKER_02: Um, and um then you get the what he's doing.
• 31:26
  SPEAKER_02: He was the one that cried the whole time, right?
• 31:28
  SPEAKER_02: I think he cried a lot.
• 31:30
  SPEAKER_02: With his mom, yeah, he was upset.
• 31:32
  SPEAKER_01: He had a really hard time um with dating.
• 31:35
  SPEAKER_01: And some of the younger guys were very comfortable in in dating and being with older women, and I don't I don't really know, you know, Chris speaks for himself, but I think he just he had a struggle with it, you know, and and maybe that wasn't the right match for him, and he just went on to do another show on Netflix.
• 31:54
  SPEAKER_01: So I I wish him the best.
• 31:57
  SPEAKER_00: And uh how you call uh, you know, when we're talking the with Theresa and had the chance last night to watch the the the final reveal, I I could see then uh the the biggest problem of their relationship was Trisa felt very uncomfortable with her age.
• 32:13
  SPEAKER_00: She was making always comments, she felt old, she felt this, she felt that that's it.
• 32:18
  SPEAKER_00: And that's what he gives said.
• 32:19
  SPEAKER_00: So at one time we thought then he was a bad guy.
• 32:21
  SPEAKER_00: He was a good guy.
• 32:23
  SPEAKER_00: He's a he's a very polite, very respectful.
• 32:25
  SPEAKER_00: He tried to understand, but I think the pressure of her, always about the age, make him feel like I got enough.
• 32:31
  SPEAKER_00: It's like a movie I've seen long time ago, the way we were with um uh how you call it.
• 32:36
  SPEAKER_00: Barbara Streisand, yeah, Robert.
• 32:38
  SPEAKER_00: Where she was he was so much in love with her, but she was always arguing, arguing, arguing, and all of a sudden I said, Hey, I'm I'm out.
• 32:45
  SPEAKER_02: And I think that's I don't see that parallel at all.
• 32:48
  SPEAKER_00: Yes, very interesting drawing.
• 32:51
  SPEAKER_02: In the movie, have you seen the of course I've seen the movie, and I don't see it at all.
• 32:55
  SPEAKER_00: You didn't see that when she was argumentative with him all the time and he loved her, he tried to make her feel good, and in the end, he breaks up and end up being within the movie.
• 33:03
  SPEAKER_02: I think the entire story of that side side note is that they were just were of people from totally different backgrounds, and they just couldn't sort of find that balance.
• 33:13
  SPEAKER_02: But I don't think that was my takeaway at all was that she was arguing all the time, and that was why they broke up.
• 33:20
  SPEAKER_00: You're right, the different background where they couldn't mix together.
• 33:23
  SPEAKER_00: Yes.
• 33:24
  SPEAKER_00: Okay, so I think I felt like we're uh to reach.
• 33:27
  SPEAKER_02: She was this loud Jewish woman who is like a protester and all of this.
• 33:31
  SPEAKER_02: You should watch this movie.
• 33:33
  SPEAKER_01: I didn't talk about it for my a hundred-hour flight to Italy.
• 33:36
  SPEAKER_01: Did you ever watch Sex in the City?
• 33:37
  SPEAKER_01: Yeah, it's a lot of people.
• 33:38
  SPEAKER_02: So on one of the episodes, she uh Sarah Jessica Parker says something to big, like Hubble.
• 33:44
  SPEAKER_02: I love you know something.
• 33:45
  SPEAKER_02: That Hubble, that is a take.
• 33:46
  SPEAKER_02: It gives me a little chill.
• 33:47
  SPEAKER_02: Okay, well, that's the take on this movie that we're talking about.
• 33:50
  SPEAKER_00: I think I think with Teresa, I think the pressure of her making feel like age was a was a was a con was a conflict.
• 33:58
  SPEAKER_00: And that's why he had enough.
• 33:59
  SPEAKER_00: He walked away.
• 34:00
  SPEAKER_00: And I think he was speaking very well, I think he was very polite, very respectful.
• 34:05
  SPEAKER_00: So uh they weren't a match, they were yeah, they weren't a match.
• 34:09
  SPEAKER_00: I think there could have been a match if Trisha was a bit more confident about herself and let the age fade away and try to get connected with the the Yeah.
• 34:17
  SPEAKER_02: My take was that he was a bit um influenced by his sister a lot, it sounds like, and that he wasn't as mature um as maybe she thought that he was.
• 34:27
  SPEAKER_00: Yeah.
• 34:29
  SPEAKER_02: Yeah.
• 34:29
  SPEAKER_02: I but we we don't know.
• 34:32
  SPEAKER_00: My take was I think she put a lot of pressure on herself regarding her age.
• 34:38
  SPEAKER_02: And I that we can agree with.
• 34:39
  SPEAKER_02: And I guess this then is a good segue to sort of ask you, you don't have that issue.
• 34:44
  SPEAKER_02: You're not needing the reassurance from Logan that it's okay that you guys are together, that you are older.
• 34:50
  SPEAKER_02: You just don't, you, you don't see it that way at all, and you're confident in it.
• 34:53
  SPEAKER_01: Is that and that's something, you know, and I I said that before.
• 34:56
  SPEAKER_01: Like you look at their relationship dynamic and you look at ours like from the show.
• 35:00
  SPEAKER_01: Logan was questioning the age gap, and I was like, who cares?
• 35:03
  SPEAKER_01: Whatever.
• 35:04
  SPEAKER_01: And Teresa was, you know, questioning the age gap.
• 35:07
  SPEAKER_01: And John's like, whatever, who cares?
• 35:09
  SPEAKER_01: You know?
• 35:09
  SPEAKER_01: So it's like it's just different personalities.
• 35:12
  SPEAKER_01: But that's what I'm hoping.
• 35:13
  SPEAKER_01: Like, I what I want to use my platform for is to empower women of any age that you can, you don't have to shrink, you don't have to go in the backbone, you don't have to dry up.
• 35:22
  SPEAKER_01: Trust me, you do not dry up at 50.
• 35:25
  SPEAKER_01: I promise you.
• 35:25
  SPEAKER_01: Like my sexual appetite, and you could see that on the show, is still flourishing.
• 35:31
  SPEAKER_01: You know, it's it's it's not the stigma what people think it is.
• 35:35
  SPEAKER_01: And I just want women to know like, be in your power, stand in your power, be confident.
• 35:40
  SPEAKER_01: Like being 50 is a blessing.
• 35:42
  SPEAKER_01: Like, I made it this far.
• 35:44
  SPEAKER_01: I'm happy to be here on this earth.
• 35:46
  SPEAKER_01: Some some of my friends didn't make it till 50, you know, and empower yourself.
• 35:51
  SPEAKER_01: And, you know, hopefully I can someone's watching and they have that 30-year-old guy at work that's like, let me take you out, let me take you out.
• 35:58
  SPEAKER_01: And and they keep saying no, no, no, no, no.
• 36:00
  SPEAKER_01: Like, meet go to coffee with them.
• 36:02
  SPEAKER_01: Get to know them.
• 36:03
  SPEAKER_01: Like, and if you don't like them, you don't like them.
• 36:05
  SPEAKER_01: And if it's your goals don't align, that's fine too.
• 36:08
  SPEAKER_01: But don't say no because you're afraid of the stigma.
• 36:11
  SPEAKER_02: I love that.
• 36:12
  SPEAKER_01: What a good message.
• 36:13
  SPEAKER_02: Yeah.
• 36:13
  SPEAKER_02: And you sh I I hope people are listening to you and watching you because I do think that that is so important.
• 36:19
  SPEAKER_02: And this idea that we don't need to put so many, like I said before guardrails, limits around what we do.
• 36:25
  SPEAKER_02: And why is there this stigma?
• 36:27
  SPEAKER_02: Why are we saying you can only date men can date everyone, but women can only date, you know, this grouping.
• 36:33
  SPEAKER_00: Yeah, you know, I think I think it's great.
• 36:36
  SPEAKER_02: Yeah, thank you.
• 36:37
  SPEAKER_00: I think I think there is sometime you said when I said to you have you date some guy older 50, and you said, you know, those 50 years old guys are not in shape, this and that.
• 36:45
  SPEAKER_00: You mentioned we talk about that, okay.
• 36:47
  SPEAKER_00: So so when when you have that philosophy and you look at that, and you know, I mean, I think at 50 years old, you're exceptional, you know, you're a beautiful woman.
• 36:56
  SPEAKER_00: So time with Jamie, both of you are very, very attractive.
• 36:59
  SPEAKER_00: Thank you, I appreciate that.
• 37:00
  SPEAKER_00: And stuff like that.
• 37:01
  SPEAKER_00: So, but not too many 50 years old, like not too many seven years old, are in the shape you want them to be.
• 37:09
  SPEAKER_00: So when you said Deadline a older woman, uh like you, you you you're different, you're pretty 50 years old, but uh you know, it's not there is not you one of the few, like Trisha said, there is one of a hundred who are attractive at a certain age.
• 37:25
  SPEAKER_01: That's the exception to the rule.
• 37:26
  SPEAKER_00: Exactly.
• 37:27
  SPEAKER_00: So I think to me, when you look at a an average 55 years old woman, you know, I mean they're not you know you need a child.
• 37:36
  SPEAKER_02: What do you think?
• 37:37
  SPEAKER_02: So I don't know, I don't want to say that's what yeah.
• 37:40
  SPEAKER_00: I'm saying then then uh okay, and I'm gonna be very controversial in here, and I know you love that.
• 37:46
  SPEAKER_00: Okay, I think women don't age as well as a man.
• 37:49
  SPEAKER_00: Okay, a man at 60 years old uh could date a 40 years old, a woman at 60 years old, it's very challenging for her to date a 40 years old.
• 37:59
  SPEAKER_00: I know you don't like that.
• 38:00
  SPEAKER_02: I don't, and you're gonna I think you're gonna have some people coming at you.
• 38:03
  SPEAKER_02: I don't care.
• 38:04
  SPEAKER_02: Okay.
• 38:04
  SPEAKER_02: I don't care.
• 38:04
  SPEAKER_00: I think that's my point of view.
• 38:06
  SPEAKER_00: I just think then, you know, I mean, uh show the picture of my brother and and his wife.
• 38:11
  SPEAKER_00: Okay.
• 38:12
  SPEAKER_00: This is my brother who is 72 years old, and his wife is 52 years old.
• 38:15
  SPEAKER_00: She's stunning, she's beautiful.
• 38:17
  SPEAKER_00: And ask her, and they have a wonderful, wonderful marriage.
• 38:20
  SPEAKER_00: And I said to her, to Berenger, I said, what is the secret, what is the success of you of you of you of your marriage?
• 38:26
  SPEAKER_00: How are you how you've been together for 30 years?
• 38:29
  SPEAKER_00: He said, Because I keep my husband young.
• 38:32
  SPEAKER_00: I I make him active, I make him do intense, and by doing that, I keep him young.
• 38:38
  SPEAKER_00: So so there is a gap difference of 20 years there, but I mean, a woman at seven years old, I'm sorry, Jamie, you will never be able to date a 50 years old.
• 38:47
  SPEAKER_00: It's not gonna happen.
• 38:48
  SPEAKER_02: I don't know that a seven-year-old even wants to date a 50-year-old.
• 38:51
  SPEAKER_02: I don't even know that.
• 38:51
  SPEAKER_02: How long has your brother been married to uh that beautiful lady?
• 38:55
  SPEAKER_02: 30 years.
• 38:56
  SPEAKER_00: Yeah, if they've been together for a long time, yeah.
• 38:58
  SPEAKER_00: They have uh twin children, actually go to college in the United States in box in Boston.
• 39:03
  SPEAKER_00: So you know what I mean.
• 39:04
  SPEAKER_00: I look at them and I say, wow, they have such a wonderful marriage, they want such a wonderful relationship and they support each other.
• 39:12
  SPEAKER_00: So if if she was seven years old, I don't think my brother would let her.
• 39:17
  SPEAKER_02: Right, okay, right, and I and that's okay.
• 39:22
  SPEAKER_02: Well, can I until they act me?
• 39:25
  SPEAKER_00: You know, let be let'd be controversial.
• 39:26
  SPEAKER_00: You know what I mean?
• 39:28
  SPEAKER_00: I've said the way the new turns and for sure.
• 39:30
  SPEAKER_01: And I and I think society, that's what people think.
• 39:34
  SPEAKER_01: You know what I mean?
• 39:36
  SPEAKER_01: And so this is the stigma that I want to work against, what he's saying.
• 39:40
  SPEAKER_01: You know what I mean?
• 39:41
  SPEAKER_01: Like like yes, that is the rule, that is the norm, what you're saying.
• 39:47
  SPEAKER_01: It it works with the older man being uh with with a younger woman, it works, but why can't we try it?
• 39:55
  SPEAKER_01: And if it doesn't work, it doesn't work, you know.
• 39:58
  SPEAKER_00: I I I I give you credit for trying.
• 40:00
  SPEAKER_00: I think you should try.
• 40:01
  SPEAKER_00: Yeah, I mean, you know, why not?
• 40:03
  SPEAKER_00: You know, but I think I think as the age grow farther, the gap gets bigger.
• 40:08
  SPEAKER_00: We talk about that.
• 40:10
  SPEAKER_00: You know, right now he's he's 30 years old, you're 50 years old.
• 40:13
  SPEAKER_00: Times fly.
• 40:14
  SPEAKER_00: Tomorrow you're 60s, 40, tomorrow you're 70s, 50.
• 40:18
  SPEAKER_00: Yeah, a 50 years old man, like Jimmy, a 50 years old.
• 40:22
  SPEAKER_02: No, no, I was just uh I was impressed with your math.
• 40:24
  SPEAKER_01: Yeah, with the math.
• 40:26
  SPEAKER_01: That's true, but my math has right.
• 40:28
  SPEAKER_01: No, it's true.
• 40:29
  SPEAKER_01: In my cougar lives matter, I said, please refrain from doing the math in public.
• 40:33
  SPEAKER_01: Right, right.
• 40:34
  SPEAKER_01: But are you saying that you'd rather live in the moment?
• 40:38
  SPEAKER_01: Yes.
• 40:38
  SPEAKER_01: Okay.
• 40:38
  SPEAKER_01: So my my point to that is if I listen to that and someone says that to me, then I'm gonna give up an opportunity to enjoy my life in the moment, to have these things that go for it.
• 40:52
  SPEAKER_01: I mean, obviously, I've been engaged several times.
• 40:54
  SPEAKER_01: Like, do I regret my time being with those people because it didn't work out?
• 40:57
  SPEAKER_01: No, they were age appropriate.
• 40:59
  SPEAKER_01: So I, you know, it's just you're gonna pass time with somebody.
• 41:03
  SPEAKER_01: And if you find a connection with somebody, why not pass the time with that person?
• 41:08
  SPEAKER_01: And if he does come to a place in his life where he's like, you know what?
• 41:12
  SPEAKER_01: I want, I found this hot 25-year-old in my office and we want to get married and have kids, congratulations.
• 41:18
  SPEAKER_01: You know, that's that's uh be honest with yourself, be honest with me.
• 41:22
  SPEAKER_01: You know, I I'm I'm never gonna like hold this man hostage or make him live a life that he doesn't want to live because I'm older and he has to stay with me.
• 41:32
  SPEAKER_02: Are you is your question aimed at Vanessa about this?
• 41:36
  SPEAKER_02: Look at in in 10 years, this is gonna be because she's the older one and she's the female, but you wouldn't be asking that of yourself.
• 41:44
  SPEAKER_02: You're dating someone who is your junior.
• 41:46
  SPEAKER_02: How many years junior than you?
• 41:48
  SPEAKER_00: The question for her is are you there for good time or long time?
• 41:52
  SPEAKER_01: Yeah.
• 41:52
  SPEAKER_00: That's the question.
• 41:54
  SPEAKER_00: Are you there for good time or long time?
• 41:55
  SPEAKER_00: If you're there for a good time, enjoy, but time goes, and then what happened in a long time?
• 42:01
  SPEAKER_02: But they could still be together in a long time.
• 42:03
  SPEAKER_02: You know, there's this actor, um Maxwell Caulfield.
• 42:06
  SPEAKER_02: Yeah.
• 42:06
  SPEAKER_02: He's from Greece too.
• 42:08
  SPEAKER_02: Yeah.
• 42:09
  SPEAKER_02: Older woman.
• 42:10
  SPEAKER_02: Yeah.
• 42:10
  SPEAKER_02: I mean, so you're just, I guess where I'm trying to get to it.
• 42:14
  SPEAKER_02: You're saying that older women dating younger men are not long term.
• 42:18
  SPEAKER_02: It's only older men dating younger women that are longer term.
• 42:22
  SPEAKER_02: That's what you're honestly saying.
• 42:23
  SPEAKER_00: Yes, I just think that's older woman dating a younger man.
• 42:28
  SPEAKER_00: There is no longevity in that.
• 42:31
  SPEAKER_00: I think there's an exception to everyone.
• 42:34
  SPEAKER_00: Okay.
• 42:35
  SPEAKER_00: They were dating in the past.
• 42:36
  SPEAKER_02: But it was because of the baby.
• 42:38
  SPEAKER_02: It was because he wanted a baby.
• 42:40
  SPEAKER_00: Okay, so that's the challenge of all.
• 42:43
  SPEAKER_02: Yes, it is.
• 42:43
  SPEAKER_00: It's a challenge the woman face as she got older as well.
• 42:46
  SPEAKER_00: So there is many different challenges as you get older.
• 42:49
  SPEAKER_00: I just think then to me, as time goes on, the gap age gets bigger for women than it is for a man.
• 42:56
  SPEAKER_00: And I might sound like chauvinistic, but that's what I see.
• 42:59
  SPEAKER_00: That's what I've I've seen around.
• 43:01
  SPEAKER_02: Yeah.
• 43:02
  SPEAKER_02: I I'm feeling like as I'm getting older, I have different perspectives on things.
• 43:06
  SPEAKER_02: I think that's probably normal.
• 43:08
  SPEAKER_02: Nothing's for sure in this world.
• 43:10
  SPEAKER_02: You know, that I keep bringing up this memoir Strangers by Belle Burden.
• 43:13
  SPEAKER_02: I don't know if you've read it, and it's about how after 20 years of divor of marriage, of two kids, he comes and he says, I want I'm not happy, I want a divorce, which again, his prerogative.
• 43:22
  SPEAKER_02: But the idea is she thought she was in it for the long haul.
• 43:24
  SPEAKER_02: So you don't, she thought she was in this wonderful marriage.
• 43:27
  SPEAKER_02: And he came in, they spent 20 years, she spent her all her youth with him.
• 43:32
  SPEAKER_02: And you don't you don't know what's gonna be tomorrow.
• 43:34
  SPEAKER_00: I agree, you don't know what the future reserves, you know.
• 43:37
  SPEAKER_00: I mean, I think uh marriage is a it's a very challenging situation these days because of the social media, because of the attraction, because of distraction.
• 43:47
  SPEAKER_00: Before, you know, you were married, my parents' age, your parents aid, they used to come home, make dinner, have the kid around the table and have dinner.
• 43:54
  SPEAKER_00: These days it's not like that.
• 43:55
  SPEAKER_00: We go out, we got temptation, we got men are have an uh animal.
• 44:00
  SPEAKER_00: instinct.
• 44:03
  SPEAKER_02: But I think with this whole today's episode, we are trying to say the women have that too.
• 44:08
  SPEAKER_02: We are mentioning that.
• 44:09
  SPEAKER_02: And that's what we're talking about.
• 44:10
  SPEAKER_02: Men's needs.
• 44:11
  SPEAKER_02: Women's needs.
• 44:13
  SPEAKER_00: I agree.
• 44:14
  SPEAKER_00: I agree.
• 44:14
  SPEAKER_00: But women sit in a in a in a in a in a bar and the and she'll sit all pretty the guy will come up and approach her, but the woman wouldn't go and talk to a guy at the bar.
• 44:24
  SPEAKER_01: Some women might.
• 44:24
  SPEAKER_00: Yeah some women but very rare I see I see the men always being the the the first step you know I mean I think you know okay so let's see.
• 44:34
  SPEAKER_02: Okay.
• 44:34
  SPEAKER_02: Well I think we're gonna I I don't know we might leave it there.
• 44:38
  SPEAKER_02: That is a really interesting take and I do think this is a great sort of this discourse is really good.
• 44:46
  SPEAKER_01: It is right and this this is exactly what I've been dealing with online.
• 44:51
  SPEAKER_01: You know I have people applauding me and I have people like it's never gonna work people applauding me people it's never gonna work but the my thing is stay in stay in my center stay in my lane stay focus on my relationship enjoy the moments and if it ever I don't want to not take this chance or not take this risk because maybe I'm gonna get older and he's not gonna like me.
• 45:12
  SPEAKER_01: Maybe he's gonna want kids maybe this like why not just take the chance enjoy it for what it is and who knows we could still be together I I people reach out to me and someone just said I'm 50 my wife's 70 we've been together 25 years.
• 45:27
  SPEAKER_01: Somebody came up to me in the gym today I'm 33 my girlfriend's 55 you know and and people are seeing me in this dynamic and and people are maybe feeling less ashamed about it and feel like it's okay.
• 45:42
  SPEAKER_01: And yeah I can listen to you in this ear and her and this ear but I think what women need to do is what is right for me.
• 45:50
  SPEAKER_01: And just and and like thinking about what you're saying about like well maybe it's not gonna work out and maybe it's not going to be long and it would hamper a woman from even trying you know so if she's already thinking well what's gonna happen when I'm 60 and he's 40 and they're doing this now.
• 46:05
  SPEAKER_00: But that's the question that's a question you have to ask yourself.
• 46:08
  SPEAKER_00: I think it's an important uh to subject you have to ask the question where is going to be 40 I'm gonna be 60.
• 46:14
  SPEAKER_01: Well I could die next year.
• 46:16
  SPEAKER_00: Yeah I understand that but the question I ask you is are you there for good time or a long time?
• 46:21
  SPEAKER_02: If you're there for a good time yes have a great time yeah but you gotta think about the long time the long term but I think it could be both yeah it could be both I think um and I think that it is wonderful that the net that Netflix did create this age of attraction.
• 46:36
  SPEAKER_02: I know it had it was provocative in nature but I think really it is part of this whole as I said at the start this cultural shift and this idea that it doesn't have to be sort of in a box anymore and those societal norms of men and older men and younger women are you know just being the the way it is is different.
• 46:56
  SPEAKER_02: I I think that the bachelor should take some notes from this idea.
• 46:59
  SPEAKER_02: We've talked about this and this idea that just a woman turns 40 and she's just out to pasture or in some old home I you know I think there's this whole time frame that where women are so viable and vibrant and all of this and they're just not um we're just sort of I think scratching the surface is to this redefining how we're all being looked at.
• 47:24
  SPEAKER_02: Yeah and this is part of it.
• 47:25
  SPEAKER_01: I agree I think I think the show was uh very uh interesting because of the age difference I think that I I I enjoy the show I think it was a great uh social experiment exactly it seemed like it worked for you but from all the rest we've seen uh you know it didn't work so well yeah okay so obviously he's one out of five yeah it's uh you know yeah uh uh uh the sixty of the special guy the six do we think they're doing another uh another season they are doing season two they're casting for season two it was a huge hit it was in the top five in the US and it was in the top seven and twenty two countries and I've had people reach out to me from Argentina from Holland from Ireland from you know Brazil so many different uh countries and I really am finding a lot of these women are like wow this is this is awesome not just in America as globally it women in this age group and it's funny you said about sex in the city before like sex in the city raised generation generation X women Sex in the city raised us and I think that it taught us and I loved how they had the four different dynamics of the girls and it taught us you could be this girl you could be that girl you could be this girl and you know what every week there was a new guy and there was a new guy and there's a new guy and you don't have to stay with someone 50 years if you don't want to you know and maybe this is a terrible message that that that they put out but to me it empowered me and I'm like which one am I you know and it's funny because I say I was um Carrie to start out I was a Carrie and then I went through my little Samantha phase for a while.
• 49:03
  SPEAKER_01: We all had I went through my Miranda phase when I was just bitter you know and so it's like you kind of go through all these phases of who these women represent and and they they essentially raised us to be these confident 40 50 60 year old women.
• 49:18
  SPEAKER_01: Yeah and don't leave Charlotte out because being kind and you know being a good Charlotte wanted that yeah and that's the the thing too Charlotte wanted the traditional I want to get married I want to have the children and she couldn't have children and she adopted children and and it and then she ended up having one of her own.
• 49:35
  SPEAKER_01: So she represented that woman that does want to do that.
• 49:38
  SPEAKER_01: And I I respect those women I love those women those that's the woman that raised me that's my mother these are my sisters and I love that and so yeah all whip women were represented but I think traditionally it was leave it to beaver and this was the only woman and it was Mrs.
• 49:53
  SPEAKER_01: Brady and this was the only woman and now we are seeing in society there's other types of women out there.
• 49:58
  SPEAKER_00: Yeah I mean there is a big change now you know I mean I think you know when I look at my parents they've been married for 16 years before they pass away you know today the divorce rate is a 50-5% of third marriage I think as we live longer we seem like we change partner as we evolute as we grow.
• 50:15
  SPEAKER_00: So I think it's a very challenging time we live in because I think you know we live longer and we we we change partner as as we go on I like we change career.
• 50:26
  SPEAKER_00: You know I mean a couple you know people change career a couple of times in their lifetime you know so yeah I don't know my mom always said um you know you can you just want to walk in the same direction I guess.
• 50:39
  SPEAKER_02: I mean you know we could be doing our own things and on your own path but hopefully it's going in the same but there is a lot of distraction during that direction.
• 50:46
  SPEAKER_02: There are but you have to if you have to decide and not be distracted.
• 50:49
  SPEAKER_01: I mean men are you know are very unfair but you need to walk your path and not someone else's path I think is what is important.
• 50:56
  SPEAKER_01: Okay.
• 50:56
  SPEAKER_01: Walk your path not someone else's path just because this is how it was done doesn't mean you have to take that path.
• 51:03
  SPEAKER_01: You know you've you've taken a path less less traveled than your parents you know than maybe your brothers you've taken a path maybe different than some of your friends do but it's your path and you're headed in your direction and I think that's what's a good takeaway.
• 51:17
  SPEAKER_02: It is and I think uh I've just occurred to me we should do a show on infidelity and talk a lot more about that because I do think that not all men I mean like we said women have desires and men have desires if you want to be in your relationship hopefully you will stay in your relationship even though you are being confronted at work or in life with other with um temptation I think it's choice.
• 51:43
  SPEAKER_02: It's a choice.
• 51:43
  SPEAKER_02: Yeah it's a choice it's a choice and I don't want to judge people but I'm just saying I do think at the end of the day it's a choice to be respectful to your partner and not do something.
• 51:52
  SPEAKER_01: That's why I like being engaged.
• 51:53
  SPEAKER_01: Yes because I'm I'm in a committed relationship and we're we're we're not seeing other people we're not in an open relationship we're we're not undefined we're not looking around and you know people can mock me for being engaged as many times as I was but I was I was very faithful to those people I was with I was very committed and I was walking a path with them.
• 52:13
  SPEAKER_00: Yes that's good to that we thank you.
• 52:16
  SPEAKER_01: Yeah thank you this has been a very good conversation it's a controversial topic and just sitting here like you know it it represented the two different controversies that I've been dealing with so it was nice having it all together.
• 52:33
  SPEAKER_01: Very dynamic.
• 52:34
  SPEAKER_00: That's the dynamic the yin and the yin you know and I want to thank you it was a pleasure having you in town this weekend and we Jimmy and I would love to if you and Logan go farther in the in your laptop we'd like to be interviewed if you guys stay together okay we would love to have you in a podcast the two of you together and see how your relationship develops.
• 52:53
  SPEAKER_00: Right this is wonderful keep subscribing I'm alright yeah and let us know what you think about this.
• 52:57
  SPEAKER_02: We'd love to know your uh your opinion good or bad comment Jimmy alright yeah we'll take it all we'll take it all all right just be respectful all right thank you bye bye