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Sister Wives S5 E7 - Polygamist Pilgrimage Into the Past - Part 2 · My Sister Wives Podcast

0:10
What does the nanny do? OK, so we're done.
0:13
Goodbye. You shut it off.
0:17
Do not twist my words. Do not make me a victim,
0:20
sweetie. Just look at the mountain.
0:22
That's what you saw. That day, just the knife in the
0:26
kidneys over all these years and
0:32
love you. Welcome back, valued listeners,
0:50
to Part 2 of What Episode Are We
0:53
Season 5, Episode 7 Pilgrimage
0:59
Polygamous pilgrimage into the
1:02
Yes. Polygamous pilgrimage into the
1:04
past. Absolutely success.
1:07
So Meri lets us know that we're only 250 miles to our
1:12
destination today, so we're on
1:15
Last travel day. She made it very clear that they
1:17
were front heavy on their miles so that today could just be
1:21
easy breezy. Beautiful cover girl.
1:24
Which is like yay, well literally yay.
1:27
Christine's like yay and claps
1:29
cool. She's like a wind up little
1:31
monkey toy. Great for Christine.
1:34
Kody's excited. He thinks that they're actually
1:36
going to be able to enjoy the day today.
1:38
Ah well. Maybe they will, darling.
1:42
Where are they going to make their stop?
1:43
On the way, though? They're not going directly to
1:46
their destination. They're going to make a stop
1:47
somewhere, and I believe the town might be called Hannibal.
1:51
Hannibal, MO And they're going
1:57
and Museum. Absolutely.
2:00
I really want to emphasize boyhood and I will continue to
2:04
emphasize boyhood and reemphasize boyhood because I'm
2:07
like, who uses the term boyhood?
2:10
It's so archaic now. I guess we are talking about
2:13
things that are old and archaic and made-up and stupid.
2:16
So, OK, but boyhood, Why isn't it just childhood?
2:19
Their childhood home, Mark Twain's childhood home, boyhood
2:22
home, everything's boyhood. The places that we're going,
2:25
they're going to talk about the men as their boyhood homes
2:28
repeatedly. And it's like, maybe it's just
2:34
specific. Well, I think that it's because
2:36
Mark Twain was trans in his later life.
2:38
Oh, he became a woman? Yes.
2:40
Oh, she became a woman. Excuse me?
2:43
I know many women named Mark too.
2:46
So it works for both genders. Well, we meet our tour guide and
2:55
And they do call him something else.
2:58
Maybe he's earned a degree of some sorts or somehow.
3:01
I don't think he, you know, helps women give birth or takes
3:05
care of children, but you never know.
3:08
Doctor Sweets? Dr. Sweets?
3:10
I'm guessing he has a doctorate in Mark Twain mythology or
3:16
history. Mark Twain's boyhood home,
3:21
curator of the museum. That is who Henry Sweet says.
3:25
Why do we have to keep saying boyhood?
3:27
Well, apparently important, yeah.
3:30
You know, it was what they said back then.
3:33
So we can't wash over it with our mentality.
3:38
Right. Well, what would it be for a
3:40
girl? Her girlhood home?
3:42
Yeah. Oh, really?
3:44
Yeah, well, that's. What they say about like, Little
3:50
Oh, whatever, right? Mark Twain travelled through the
3:57
Dr. Sweets lets us know. And he lets us in on a journal
4:08
needed to read this out loud to the Browns.
4:10
And I'm going to let you just take it away here.
4:14
When he's traveling through the Utah Territory, he takes note
4:17
about polygamous women from his apparently 2 day stay in Salt
4:22
Lake City. Gathered a lot in two days, he
4:27
OK everyone, this is Mark Twain. This is not Chris, allegedly.
4:30
Well, the first sentence was is me.
4:33
I was touched. Oh, maybe I should take a little
4:40
and. There I was touched in my nether
4:47
creatures. The man that marries one of them
4:53
married 60 of them has done a deed of open hearted generosity
4:59
so sublime that the nation should stand uncovered in his
5:04
presence and worship. Silence.
5:06
Now I'm you know, I'm not the most familiar with Mark Twain
5:11
and his ramblings or her ramblings, whatever gender Mark
5:14
Twain was. But apparently Mark Twain was
5:17
touched enough by the men who were generous enough to marry
5:21
these homely, ugly women, so he thought they were ugly.
5:24
The men are doing these ugly women a favor, and it was an act
5:33
Yeah, you know, what are you
5:35
going to do? Listen, ugly women exist.
5:38
I don't know what to say. We're here, we're ugly, we're
5:43
proud, God. Ugly people rise ugly.
5:48
People rise up. You know, I feel like I could go
5:55
on a little bit of a tangent right now about most of the
5:58
polygamist women I've seen in television shows and specials
6:03
and documentaries, but it might be considered crass.
6:08
Some women might say, Chris, you
6:13
To that I would say he did go to
6:20
the other week and I was like what?
6:22
You don't believe that women have the right to vote?
6:26
And we got into it. We did.
6:28
I can't believe you brought up that I went to this anti women's
6:38
I knew it existed. I was.
6:40
I was subscribed. I said let me know.
6:42
It was at the shooting range out in Timbuktu of nowhere.
6:46
It was it was near boyhood hometown.
6:48
It was near Nauvoo. It was really, it was crazy.
6:52
I had to travel in an RV with all my other Manaverse friends.
6:55
You know, I'm very, I'm very big
6:58
in the Manaverse, obviously. Oh, the women are super offended
7:03
by this. Well, this is it.
7:04
We go to the couch for them to
7:08
joke about how some polygamous
7:12
wives. And of course the women rib him
7:15
for putting his foot in his mouth because it's ridiculous.
7:18
And what does he say? What does Christine say?
7:21
Oh my gosh, she's like, you're
7:24
and downtrodden. That's right, because he's like,
7:27
I'm not offended. And it's like, well, no, they're
7:29
not the one being called ugly and downtrodden.
7:31
You're the one being called semi
7:34
I don't think that was said, but
7:38
Well, I mean, he's, you know, he
7:40
of people. He's, you know, Christian blah
7:42
blah, done his Christian doings.
7:44
He acts like a Oh my God. Yeah.
7:46
And of course, you know, Christine's really, Of course
7:49
you're not offended. Like, yeah, yeah, yeah.
7:51
And Kody says this must have been a reference to other
7:54
polygamist women. Because my wives are all
7:57
beautiful. And his pants started on fire.
8:03
And this was a moment that I loved because Janelle caught my
8:06
attention because I noticed how much in the second-half of this
8:10
episode or recently, she just has been smiling and chuckling
8:16
Like it's been so cute. Like there are times where she
8:24
in this episode. But by this point, like halfway
8:27
through plus she is laughing at everything and I feel like she's
8:34
But also kind of the ridiculousness of it all.
8:38
Like Janelle's probably the smartest of them.
8:41
I'm guessing that's subjective, but I think she kind of.
8:45
Even though that's hard to say when she's dedicated her life to
8:52
I'm trying to put the toothpaste back in the tube.
8:55
I don't think you can do that. It's just fun to see your let
8:58
her hair down and laugh like I'm like thank you Janelle.
9:00
Oh my gosh. Yeah, she is chuckling along.
9:03
She's not really contributing much to the conversation on the
9:07
couch conversations lately, but she is kind of chuckling along,
9:11
which is better than the dead stare or the laser eyes where
9:14
she was like burning a hole through the carpet in the room
9:22
Another thing I noticed was that Kody's hair is styled with a
9:27
moderate Keith Urban look, and I'm wondering if this is our
9:31
first time seeing this look from him.
9:33
Have we referenced his Keith Urban hair in a present state?
9:41
mom. Yeah.
9:42
And this one, it was like had like a slight wave and then out.
9:47
And I was like, I feel like it's
9:49
He's trying to be contemporary
9:53
I'm too distracted by his sunburn and his no sunburn.
9:57
I don't know why he's always so sun drenched.
10:01
It's like, Oh my gosh, put a hat
10:03
It's all of that work he's doing
10:05
for the whole. That's right, he does love some
10:08
manual. Digging in the dirt, digging in
10:10
the dirt. I think that he actually, a
10:13
couple times throughout this episode on the couch has changed
10:18
looks. So I noticed at one point it was
10:20
flipped under and then it very
10:24
in other interviews. So these were definitely
10:28
recorded across different days
10:33
this trip. Absolutely, he definitely does
10:36
look different in multiple instances and one of them is
10:39
this new contemporary styling and I thought interesting.
10:43
I wonder if the fame is hitting Kody Brown.
10:45
Well, it's interesting and I hope, I don't know if you mind
10:49
sharing this, but you know somebody that was on a reality
10:53
TV show and they had to keep their hairstyle from their first
10:57
interview through the entire show, correct?
10:59
Like for every interview. Yeah, My friend was on a reality
11:03
show. This is going to be the giveaway
11:05
where they do a makeover. Yeah.
11:07
And so up until they do the makeover, you have to keep your
11:10
hair the same. And then at some point, they
11:12
even have you wear, like, hats
11:15
super jarring as a person being interviewed because you're
11:18
like, now I just look like an idiot.
11:20
But yeah, usually they try to have a continuity with that.
11:24
Yeah. But also, that is a, like,
11:27
elimination reality show. So I think it's a little more
11:30
about like, you know. That makes sense.
11:32
I don't know, but you would still think you'd want them to
11:37
things for the when you're talking about the same day,
11:39
yeah, please look the same. You would think so.
11:41
I have listened to some other like tell all type of things
11:45
where they're talking about, you know, TV shows and the behind
11:48
the scenes interviews. And they will make them like
11:50
wear the same shirt, the same outfit over and over and over
11:53
again. And here you've got Kody's hair
11:57
like blatantly in, out, in, out.
12:00
Like it's different. And same with Meri.
12:02
You know Meri's hair. Oh, Meri's hair is just
12:05
constantly changing things up.
12:09
Luckily, we just kind of move on
12:12
Was there anything else about Miss Mark Twain's childhood or
12:16
boyhood home that you want to talk about?
12:19
Well, the women are kind of ragging on Kody, and they're
12:22
telling him that he should have stood up for them.
12:25
And he's like, what was I going to do?
12:27
Like, this is a quote from a long time ago.
12:30
And then he says some silly things and he was like, shakes
12:34
his first at the camera and gets
12:37
Twain, you bastard, shut up and shakes his first.
12:40
And he's, like, obviously joking
12:45
like, mocking what he would say.
12:47
And then Christine goes, that's all you had to say.
12:51
Like she really thought that he should have spoken up to Doctor
12:56
Sweets and defended him. Like OK.
12:58
Well, what do you have said? The guy Doctor Sweets is talking
13:09
I do find it funny that they read this at all.
13:12
I know that they weren't stopping at like a Mormon site,
13:16
but they were stopping somewhere.
13:18
So they had to tie in the Mormon like religion and polygamist
13:23
somehow. So obviously they picked this
13:25
quote as like a tie in to make it relevant for the show.
13:28
But don't you think that he probably had to give the
13:32
producers multiple options of quotes and that's the one they
13:36
Yeah, could be. Yeah, if I remember correctly.
13:43
forgetting. But in the future, there's some
13:45
reference to a piece, like a art piece, some drawing or
13:49
painting, and I think it might be connected to Mark Twain, but
13:52
it might not be. And it actually might be their
14:01
And the pawn shop. The pawn shop, yeah, there's
14:04
like a picture or a painting or a drawing or something of the
14:07
polygamist women. And they're all hideous, like
14:10
intentionally drawn to be, you know, like a witch or whatever.
14:14
And then there's like the new
14:15
wife who's all like rich and spoiled and pretty.
14:18
And so I think that comes in the
14:20
And I, I, for some reason it's
14:24
Twain, like maybe it's a drawing
14:26
something. OK.
14:27
So that must be coming up because we have not seen this
14:31
yet, but it's interesting because they're maybe teeing it
14:34
up or picked this quote for a reason.
14:37
Yeah, OK, that could possibly be.
14:40
So that's interesting to call out now.
14:42
I had no idea Missus Mark Twain was so connected to the
14:44
polygamous culture. No, my, Oh my, misses Mark
14:49
Twain, you dirty birdie. Misses Mark Twain and her big
14:54
old knockers now. Do you have anything before they
14:59
drive into Nabu, darling? Because we do eventually get to
15:02
Nabu, not Nabu. Nabu on the planet of Nabu in
15:07
Star Wars, that's where we're going.
15:09
I would prefer to have gone there with them, but.
15:11
We could call it Nabu, but that would, I feel like it'd be
15:14
insulting to the actual creativity of, you know, Star
15:17
Wars and Disney and whoever those people.
15:18
Were no, no, not to George Lucas.
15:21
Oh, that's right. Lucas Films, Yes, But when they
15:24
drive into Nauvoo, Kody's, you
15:28
coming along the river and then the road turns and then there's
15:32
a field and then there's a building and it just smacks you
15:34
in the face. And I was like, it all looks a
15:38
little Midwest. Very Midwest.
15:40
I mean, it's glorious. We live in the Midwest.
15:44
I'm not trying to put it down,
15:47
yeah, you took a turn and then
15:49
I don't know that it was really all that, like the angels
15:52
weren't singing to me. The angels were singing to him
15:54
and Christine because she is ridiculously excited and getting
15:57
goosebumps. She's such a.
16:02
Glory to God in the highest Christians getting goosebumps
16:06
again, Jesus. Oh man, oh wow, that's going to
16:15
be so I'm sorry you guys, I'm really sorry.
16:18
I just was moved by the Spirit, the.
16:20
Spirit moved me. Totally.
16:22
I'm being moved by the spirit,
16:29
So nothing talked to you? Oh no, you were moved by the
16:32
spirit of Christine's whatnotness.
16:34
But did you experience anything while seeing this footage of
16:36
them entering Nauvoo Darling? No, I just saw, you know, the
16:40
water on the left and they're coming around that river bend OR
16:43
that water bend into Nauvoo. And glory to God in the highest,
16:48
Our Jesus Savior is here and He made this land that they are
16:51
about to step foot on. And this land is your land, and
16:54
this land is my. Land, and it was made for you
16:56
and me. Thank you.
16:58
You know, it's so weird to hear people talking about Joseph
17:01
Smith, Brigham Young and others when you weren't raised in
17:05
Mormonism. So this is where we're going,
17:07
right? We're going to Nauvoo.
17:08
We're going to hear about these characters.
17:10
Apparently they were real people.
17:11
I don't know, whatever when you weren't raised Mormon.
17:15
What I constantly think of and
17:18
episodes where they're like making fun of Mormonism, and
17:22
when they're like telling the story of Joseph Smith, Dum dum,
17:25
dum, dum dum. And then it's like dum, dum,
17:27
dum, dum, dum, dum, dum dum. Like the whole story is just
17:31
dum, dum, dum, dum dum. Like the whole thing is absurd.
17:35
I mean, there literally are two religions that you can trace
17:38
the roots of and it is Scientology and it is
17:41
Mormonism. And I just truly believe these
17:56
and he got a little twitch in his Wiener and he wanted more
17:59
wise. And even beyond that, like
18:01
Mormonism in general, like the
18:05
tablet and the writings and this
18:07
And it's like, you can literally
18:12
And I kind of find it disturbing.
18:14
And it speaks to the human condition in general that we
18:17
just want to believe in something.
18:20
So you pick and choose what you want to believe in.
18:23
I don't know. But community you want to be a
18:25
part of. And it's a little like fucked up
18:29
to me, I mean. Well, and I've avoided talking
18:32
about Scientology because they
18:35
that's called, there's a term for it.
18:38
L Ron Hubbard was like a failed science fiction writer who was
18:44
injured, quote UN quote, but not
18:48
religion. Like it's weird that people and
18:52
when we talked about this before, the also counter to this
18:56
delusional faith that is just kind of like if you have enough
19:01
rational thinking, you can just kind of I don't want to say it
19:04
about all religions, but these
19:09
so obviously not true. And then the participants, the
19:15
followers, the whatever are just
19:19
anyone who doesn't believe what we believe are ridiculous.
19:22
Like I'm literally better than
19:25
literally for other people. Like you just don't get it.
19:28
And it's like. No, you don't get it.
19:32
You literally are following the doctrines and the covenants of
19:39
men that you can trace it back
19:43
their Ding dongs and they want
19:45
And so you're just going to believe that they were speaking
19:48
to God. Everyone has an inner voice,
19:51
right? I could say my inner voice is
19:54
God to me and be like, oh, I get
19:58
my inner voice God is telling me.
20:00
And people would be like, no, you're fucking nuts.
20:03
You're starting a cult. That's literally what this is.
20:09
So that people think like that it's OK enough to, I don't know,
20:15
Illinois. I mean, we're talking about
20:16
people that literally like were around in contemporary enough
20:19
times that there was a newspaper like what L Ron Hubbard was
20:25
alive? I don't even know, like a couple
20:29
He wrote books, and he to this day, I think is the author
20:33
that's written the most books in the world, and they're all
20:36
horseshit and they're all really awful.
20:37
Like I don't know if you've ever looked at them, but the writing
20:40
is terrible. He just honestly wanted the
20:43
title of writing enough books to outdo everyone else.
20:46
Because he's a man in a manosphere.
20:49
A delusion, I know well, I'm a big fan, I know.
20:52
You are. He didn't want women to vote
20:55
either. Unless they had tinfoil hats on,
21:02
As I said, I brought up Joseph
21:05
others. You know, there's some names
21:07
we're going to talk about. If you know him, you know him.
21:10
If you don't, you don't need to know him.
21:12
But when the Brown family is arriving in Nauvoo, coming
21:15
around this riverbend and seeing
21:20
Hiram Smith's boyhood home, like
21:25
We're just getting crushed by the boyhood homes in this
21:28
episode. I did not hear the boyhood home.
21:31
I knew it was just Hiram Smith's
21:34
he lived there, I thought. Well, they're going when they
21:36
arrive. They arrive at his boyhood home.
21:38
They might have gone to two different places.
21:40
I'm. Not quite sure.
21:41
OK. At this point is when I had to
21:44
rely more on you, honey, because
21:49
skin started turning inside out and my eyes turned red and I
21:52
was like, I can't do this, my God.
21:54
And I said I can't be a historian about this crazy shit
21:58
that doesn't matter. And you're like I can.
22:00
I wrote down a lot of the story because I'm I need to impart
22:08
this wisdom to our listeners ears.
22:12
I can't even make it through that one.
22:15
I've done a lot of my own quasi research.
22:19
I've listened to some books, I've watched some shows about,
22:28
Mormonism and polygamy. Because I do just find it so
22:33
fascinating how these people can believe this.
22:36
And I don't know. So yeah, we are going to Hiram
22:47
to be playing on the lawn that Hiram and Joseph Smith's kids
22:52
played on, and they're going to be staying in the home that they
23:06
Smith? Blasphemy.
23:08
You're being generous. You didn't have to question it.
23:11
It was very obvious.
23:12
Yeah, it was like. A2 story brick structure that
23:15
obviously has been around for a hundred 200 years.
23:17
I don't know. It's been there for a minute.
23:19
And then on the side of it is a like mudroom slash garage
23:24
edition that's like vinyl siding.
23:30
It's an addition on to this historic home so that people
23:34
like the fucking Browns will pay
23:37
giant families will come and pay
23:44
Because in what reality? Like outside of Utah and this
23:49
area is just a historic home to begin with.
23:53
Yeah, I wonder if it's on any registries.
23:55
It can't be with that edition.
23:58
looks like one of those prefab
24:00
or Menards where it's like you
24:04
It's like what the fuck? Except for they threw like three
24:06
of them together so it was long,
24:10
families like the Browns and take their money.
24:13
Absolutely. So bizarre.
24:15
And we hear from Kody that the
24:22
is that his spirit speaks to me.
24:26
And Kody was led to this beautiful family that he has now
24:35
And Oh my God, like him and Christine in this scene are just
24:43
It's a lot of what Joseph Smith rebelled now translation
24:48
revealed. But I love when they say the
24:51
word rebelled because it's like, Oh my God that he didn't revolt,
24:57
We see this lovely painting of Hiram Smith and he's holding
25:03
what looks like a bat or a like. Club.
25:09
A Cricket Club like what is he holding?
25:13
I don't know what else to say about that, but they like gave
25:24
ridiculous. Yeah, probably all of the kids
25:29
Well, this is it. God told them you have to beat
25:34
And when that inner voice tells you to beat your wives and
25:37
children, you beat your wives and children.
25:39
I mean, because it's God obviously telling you, yeah.
25:42
We fade to night and we fade to mourning.
25:46
It's day five of our trip. We're finally in Nauvoo, which,
25:50
you know, obviously you guys all know it only took them four
25:53
days to get there. Hallelu and we are going to meet
26:03
bowling shirt. He thinks he's Charlie Sheen and
26:08
And no one should aspire to be Charlie Sheen or anything
26:13
attached to 2 1/2 Men. This is just wrong.
26:16
But this family, they're going to be meeting Joseph Johnston.
26:29
like Jesus. Oh, he does.
26:31
Look like that His locks are prettier than Kody's and she's
26:38
He does have long hair. He does, I would not say look
26:43
like Jesus. He has long hair and was wearing
26:53
Yeah. He's a member of the LDS church,
26:58
He does not practice polygamy. Yeah, he just kind of looks like
27:04
because he's supposedly LDS. He has long dark hair, dark
27:08
brown hair. I would say like dirty blonde.
27:17
No, if you were to put him on the scale of 10 being the
27:21
lightest one being the darkest, he's probably a level 8.
27:25
My hairdressers out there will appreciate this if.
27:28
You could see my face right now, y'all?
27:29
It's technically considered blonde.
27:31
Her eyes checked. I'm not going to.
27:34
It's it's he's a brunette, but whatever, he's got blonde hair.
27:37
I delulu.
27:38
I'll take a photo. He is very pale.
27:42
This long hair is happening, some facial hair that is nasty,
27:45
some teeth that are nasty. His shirt is nasty.
27:49
His whole thing is nasty. But Joseph Johnston is the host
27:54
of Joseph's Nauvoo Tours, which I just love this.
27:59
I wish there was like Chris's Manosphere tours.
28:03
Yeah, you could take everyone to
28:09
Where men have been wronged by
28:10
You could like, like the time that I beat a random man on that
28:14
street corner. You could take them there,
28:16
right? Yeah.
28:17
Well, there's so many places where men have been wronged by
28:20
women that I could just create a
28:23
have to be ugly because it's part of the manosphere.
28:24
It's got to be unattractive. It's got to be dirty blonde,
28:27
like our friend Joseph Johnston,
28:30
Now, Meri did say that he's, you
28:34
Diaz. Like you said, he's not part of
28:36
the AUB, which is the Browns cult.
28:37
He's not a member of their cult. He's a part of the larger cult.
28:42
Mckelty, our favorite daughter.
28:44
Her hair is glowing, that bright
28:53
It's like Ariel The Little Mermaid Barbie doll red.
28:55
It's literally just glowing, but
28:58
means that like the hair color process differently at the
29:01
roots, so brighter at the roots.
29:03
So she's got major hot roots and the sun is shining on the top of
29:13
just like glowing from the back of the group because her hot
29:18
roots are literally you could put.
29:20
Her in front of a construction site to like don't come here.
29:23
Direct. Traffic.
29:24
Yeah, like a safety cone. Now Robyn says something being
29:32
What was this vague thing? Did you catch this?
29:35
I think she said something about like.
29:38
Well, it's, it's blatantly obvious that they don't know
29:42
everything that they're about to learn and they're pushing this
29:52
their kids. Kody says that he's expecting
29:55
some juicy stuff and that he tells Joseph that he doesn't
30:00
need it to whitewash the history and he can tell them all of the
30:05
stories because. We're polygamous.
30:07
And it's like, well, your entire religion is whitewashed.
30:12
It's literally like, you know, it is what it is, dude.
30:16
Yeah. Absolutely.
30:17
But he's like, oh, get into the nitty gritty with us.
30:21
We want to know it all. And it's like, dude, are you
30:24
admitting right now that you don't know the insurance and
30:27
outs of your religion? That you're imparting this
30:30
wisdom and preaching to your children every Sunday.
30:33
And you're going to rely on Joseph Johnston and his dark
30:37
brown hair. Shut it.
30:40
Got it, Trebek, You shut your dirty mouth.
30:43
Oh, man. Now, Joseph Johnston, oh, excuse
30:51
going to start telling us about Joseph Smith and his
30:54
inbred brother and his small town and all the things that
30:58
happened. When he starts, he's talking
31:00
about a field. Being like this doesn't matter
31:03
to most people, but it matters
31:07
Smith was walking this way and
31:11
going this way and then they met
31:16
polygamy going on here? No, I don't.
31:18
Know my God. That was so Kara Cunningham.
31:20
Oh my God. Now what is the real story here,
31:24
darling? I blocked out all these details.
31:26
Trauma Block. OK, so Hiram is walking with
31:30
Brigham Young through this field
31:38
I want you to tell me the truth.
31:41
Is there polygamy going on? Right.
31:44
And Hiram just needs to know because he's been hearing rumors
31:54
So he knows that Brigham Young's
31:58
Brigham Young says that yes, they are practicing polygamy.
32:02
And Hiram goes back to his brother Joseph Smith, after a
32:08
night of sleep, and he says that
32:15
and that Brigham Young told him that he's practicing polygamy
32:18
and that he knows he's fought it for a long time, but he's
32:22
ready to be God's tool and to join polygamy.
32:25
And then Hiram tells Joseph Smith that he has to have a
32:30
scribe write down the doctrine
32:34
became the Doctrine and the Covenant of 132 of Elias Canon.
32:43
Nani, could you describe the tool that someone was supposed
32:47
to be for Jesus? Is it, is the shaft long?
32:49
Is it thick? Is it veiny?
32:51
Is it circumcised? It may or may not be a Wiener.
32:54
Oh, we're talking about wieners here.
32:57
I wasn't talking about that kind
32:59
Where'd you get that idea? He.
33:00
Says he's ready to be a God's tool.
33:03
And I'm like, OK, you're ready
33:06
Yeah, you know, I mean, I just, I just was wondering if any
33:11
description was given about the length and the girth, but.
33:14
I mean, we're talking about horny men here.
33:17
We're talking about horny men that are saying that they are
33:21
just ready to fuck and Yep, let's get it on.
33:25
Let's get it on. In the name of God.
33:28
In the name of God, let's get it
33:31
Oh, my God, I just, I can't with
33:36
you've got your brother Hiram,
33:39
against polygamy. I'm so against it.
33:41
But Brigham Young, you better tell me the truth is the
33:43
polygamy going on here. And he's got his mutton chops
33:46
and his big old beard and his.
33:49
Mustache and a high collar. And he says, well, gosh darn it,
33:53
my collar's a little too tight, I'll loosen it.
33:55
And I'm going to be a tool for
33:57
Like, OK, so all of a sudden, overnight you're just going to
34:00
be like, God spoke to me too. I woke up and I had a wet dream
34:05
and I thought that God's telling
34:09
for good. I need to fuck many bitches.
34:12
And you know what? That's part of the manosphere
34:13
teachings. I'm seeing parallels here.
34:16
I can't believe you're not part of this this.
34:18
Is what I'm thinking. I'm going.
34:19
Why am I not a? Why am I not?
34:21
Following the teachings of Joseph.
34:23
Johnson. I hate to break it to you, but I
34:25
got to tell you the truth right now.
34:27
Do. They hate closeted gay men.
34:29
You can't get pregnant from anal.
34:32
Oh, that's a lie. That's a lie.
34:38
Don't believe it. Do not believe it.
34:42
Oh, it's a lie that you can't get pregnant from anal.
34:45
Well, what do you people with a uterus can get pregnant from
34:48
anal? Why from like juices running?
34:51
Well, sperm can live like in and
34:57
like in the vagina and stuff and it it can travel through the
35:00
juiciest through the snail trail.
35:03
Oh God. So don't believe that anyone who
35:07
is perhaps listening of our younger audience.
35:11
God or unlike Kimber, just bathe.
35:13
You know, like just clean up afterwards.
35:16
Seriously, I thought you were trying to say I couldn't get
35:18
pregnant because of the anal practices and I said honey, I
35:21
have tried and you are right. Well.
35:22
I'm saying on your end, you can't.
35:24
And so that's why you can't be
35:27
Yeah, because you can't. Yeah, you know.
35:29
And I'm too pregnant to be one
35:32
You can't be part of the quiver full movement.
35:35
Exactly. I knew that.
35:37
Well, you realize that that's what a lot of this is.
35:40
It's like about the quiver, full
35:43
seed. Of course for the Aryan race,
35:45
it's like really fucked. Up I've advocated for spreading
35:48
the seed all over the place and unfortunately everyone, all
35:52
those men were like, you're not ugly enough to be my polygamist
35:54
wife. And I'm like, oh damn, like no
35:57
anal for us. Oh Dang.
36:01
Oh my. God, this is ridiculous.
36:03
It's gone crazy. Oh, you guys there's.
36:06
Something about the Air Nauvoo
36:10
Me hot and bothered. Just makes me want to do anal.
36:12
Thinking about all these mutton chops has got me hot and
36:15
bothered, especially these white
36:20
bleached by hours in the sun and
36:24
Well, you're just ready to accept God's tool.
36:27
Hot and bothered Well, we're going to go and sit down on a
36:31
bench with the adults of the family now.
36:34
A. Picnic bench.
36:35
I don't think I need to name. Them a picnic table.
36:38
Do I need to name them? Yeah, I'm mentioning like,
36:40
Forrest Gump. I'm like, now they're sitting at
36:42
a picnic table. Like all of a sudden Tom Hanks
36:44
is like sitting there. And it's like, good God, get out
36:46
of here, Tom. They're each sitting on another
36:48
side of like a bike trail just
36:51
keep going by. When Joseph Johnston is sitting
36:55
at the table with the parents,
36:58
scattered to protect their delicate ears from the truths
37:01
that are going to fall from Joseph's mouth.
37:03
And what does he tell the family
37:06
Kody kind of asks how many wives
37:13
And then Joseph Johnston says,
37:17
questions that I get asked every
37:24
Smith really had. And it was 33.
37:27
He had 33 wives. And Kody is like what?
37:32
I thought it was 17. I was just distracted because I
37:36
thought when he said 33 wives,
37:38
33 teeth on the top row protecting from his mouth, but
37:42
instead it was the wives. So, you know, there's that.
37:45
He also volunteers that likely
37:48
already married to other men. So.
37:51
Dot dot dot dot dot. What that means is that some
37:55
wives had two husbands and they were already married.
38:00
So then he was their second husband and Robyn just cannot
38:06
believe this. Right, and he claims these wives
38:09
could remain married to their OG
38:12
to Joseph Smith. He says quote in every sense of
38:16
the word, Meaning Joseph Smith
38:21
penetrate these married women.
38:25
Robyn is just like so confused
38:31
mean that that means they were
38:36
Because she's an idiot. So he has to kind of reiterate
38:39
to her like, yes, they were in
38:42
would go back and stay with their original husband.
38:46
And then Kody's like, well, they
38:54
ceremonial marriages so that Joseph Smith could help these
38:59
people get to a different level in heaven.
39:03
And it's like you're speaking out of your ass right now
39:05
because you didn't know this and
39:09
fucking weird and you guys don't
39:13
Well, Kody does say historians
39:16
Honey, it's not that they don't know.
39:18
There's just so many. There's some discrepancies
39:21
different. Stories depending on what side
39:23
of the tool you're, if you're the receiver or the giver of the
39:26
COD tool, yeah, you might have a
39:30
I just can't even believe that
39:33
here because you would think that this is something that they
39:36
would know by now. I don't know.
39:39
And then Janelle. I know.
39:40
And this goes exactly counter to
39:43
said Janelle's the smartest of them all.
39:44
And now we get this doozy. Oh my God.
39:47
Yeah, well, she says that her ideas and beliefs do not hinge
39:51
on this and that he was just a
39:55
He wasn't Jesus, he was just a
39:59
They're just speculating. We're all speculating at this
40:03
point, and so are the historians.
40:05
Like it wasn't that long ago there was a newspaper, for God's
40:09
sake. You know what?
40:09
I. Mean we're fucking speculating.
40:11
OK, There was a problem. There's a reason why all of this
40:16
shit was going down and oh, they're speculating.
40:20
So you're speculating about your
40:23
willing to stake your life on this and your children's
40:27
capability to grow up with their mom and their dad and all of
40:31
this stuff that you just so passionately believe in.
40:37
It's all speculation, yeah. We're just speculating.
40:39
It doesn't really matter to me
40:42
hinge on what this man did. He's not Jesus, he's not God on
40:46
earth. He's a guy.
40:48
Oh no, He's just spoke to Jesus,
40:50
He just spoke to him. What the fuck?
40:54
He's just got Jesus's tool in his hand, in his mouth.
40:57
Hiram told Joseph to have a scribe write down the doctrine
41:02
of plural marriage, and so became the Doctrine and
41:07
Covenants 132 of the LDS Canon.
41:12
OK Janelle, OK you dumb dumb dumb dummy.
41:19
This whole sect of the religion is based on one man wanting to
41:28
OK, I'm just going to say that one more time because y'all are
41:34
believing this, OK? For the record.
41:37
For the record, Jesus spoke to him through his Weiner and
41:41
that's why we have Covenant 132. And then the baby Jesus, who is
41:47
the leader of the manosphere, gave us a commercial break and
41:55
We're going to go to Carthage, where Joseph Smith was killed at
42:10
Yeah, the Brown family is gathered with Joseph Johnston on
42:18
filling them in on these lovely details about Nauvoo's colorful
42:23
history, and he gives them some more details about this burning
42:27
of the newspaper and the press. Apparently this newspaper was
42:32
reporting about Joseph Smith and his plural marriages and he did
42:38
not like this and their community did not like this.
42:42
So the Nauvoo City Council voted to have the press destroyed.
42:48
Burned to the ground. Burned to a crisp.
42:53
So this newspaper, freedom of speech, kind of the whole reason
43:00
you're going to burn it to the ground because they're speaking
43:03
about the truth about your plural marriages and you don't
43:06
This is not the first time in history where people have, you
43:14
literally voices that are sharing the truth.
43:17
And maybe their color in their truth was polygamy is terrible
43:26
sharing the truth about what's happening in their community,
43:29
that's not the same as coloring. Polygamy is bad.
43:32
If polygamy is illegal and people are breaking the law,
43:36
then, yeah, they're going to report on it because it's the
43:39
press in America. Like that's what happens.
43:42
And while they're standing there, this is when Joseph
43:46
Johnston talks about a 22 year old man who was also standing
43:51
right where they were, watching the things that happened, this
43:56
Meri is great, great, great. Yes, 3 greats.
44:03
He was 22 at the time. William Adams.
44:06
William Adams, yes, was standing there and watched that building
44:10
burn. And Meri is smiling ear to ear.
44:14
Yo, she's tickled.
44:15
Pink. She's got this weird little
44:17
Grinch grin on her face. You know where he does the
44:19
little corners of the mouth turn
44:22
goes downward. Yeah.
44:24
She's got this weird little grin.
44:26
Why are you so pleased about this?
44:28
Weird. Oh.
44:30
My great great great grandfather's being mentioned in
44:33
history. And this wasn't set up at all.
44:37
It's not like he had this opportunity to say this about
44:39
Meri's great, great, great grandfather.
44:41
And it's not like there be another one in the near future
44:43
with Robbins great great grandfather.
44:45
And it's not like they told us
44:48
took a bucket of water and tried
44:52
No, no, no, He watched it burn.
44:54
He was. Just there, watching it burn.
44:56
He didn't even throw a match. He wasn't on either side.
44:59
Yeah, he just stood and watched it burn.
45:01
Yeah, he's just the middle of the rotor.
45:03
Just a bystander. Just a simple Nauvoo resident.
45:09
We. Don't know.
45:09
Maybe he had a peg leg, maybe he couldn't partake, we don't know.
45:14
fire. We don't know, and you want to
45:16
know why. We don't know why.
45:18
It's all speculation. And any documents that would
45:21
have told us were burned to the ground.
45:23
Burn to a crisp. Oh my gosh.
45:26
Meri's little grin, though. It just ate me up.
45:29
Yeah. And then Christine, she'd have
45:33
been skirred. She'd have been skirts.
45:35
Skirt. Oh, yes, she had a great quote
45:37
here. Oh, it was so good.
45:39
She would have been frightened.
45:40
Can you imagine being there in that community and seeing all
45:44
these things happen, watching your community?
45:46
What did she say? What?
45:48
Rumble. Watching your community crumble
45:50
or some bullshit. I didn't actually write it down,
46:00
And it wasn't even about her great, great grand father,
46:05
William Madams. No.
46:06
After the burning of the press, Joseph Smith had to go to the
46:11
courthouse in Carthage. Yes, the Hancock County
46:15
Courthouse. So of course, the Browns have to
46:22
Jerusalem, We are where we they are going on their Mecca, their
46:27
journey to wherever they're fucking going, which happens to
46:29
be the Hancock County Courthouse in Carthage, IL.
46:34
It's special. So the Browns all go and they're
46:40
Now, I know there's a lot of Joseph's flying around here, so
46:43
try to try to keep up. Joseph with the blonde hair.
46:47
Joseph Johnson, we could have called him JJ this whole time.
46:54
So J JS telling the family about what happened at the courthouse
46:58
with his dark blonde hair. The Nauvoo Council turned
47:02
themselves in for the charges of rioting, and Joseph Smith is a
47:10
weighs and he turns himself in. And Joseph Smith posts bail.
47:15
Yep, which is lovely. He had some rich friends or he
47:24
Right, they're leaving the courthouse and the sheriff
47:27
approaches them with writs of charges for treason.
47:30
Now, friendly reminder for our listeners at home, treason is a
47:35
crime punishable by death in the United States.
47:38
It's because you literally are committing treason against the
47:44
You don't get to commit treason. Yeah, it's not exactly a light
47:50
They don't just hand out treason charges.
47:52
OK. Kody gives us a quote here.
47:55
They claim that Joseph Smith says as he is being brought to
48:03
the slaughter. Yes, because Joseph Smith called
48:10
Now this goes hand in hand with
48:12
the treason charges, because if you're someone who thinks you
48:15
get to determine martial law, that means you're fucking nuts.
48:19
I mean, either there's something
48:22
you're a good guy trying to right the wrongs, or you're a
48:26
really bad guy and you're like, I get to call martial law.
48:30
Well, after Joseph Smith called for martial law, that's when
48:34
the state leaders are notified and put a warrant out for his
48:37
arrest. Oh, he was freed, and then he
48:41
has to be arrested again because
48:43
you don't just get to say martial law.
48:46
Like, who are you? I know.
48:50
It's like, listen, Mr. Polygamist freak who burned the
48:53
newspaper to the ground, you don't now get to say martial law
48:56
and you're the leader of the town.
48:58
Like it's ridiculous. You treasonous bastard.
49:01
Treason. And he is like their hero.
49:05
He's their hero. Right.
49:06
They were put into the jail, but
49:11
for their own safety because there were rumors of harassers
49:15
coming. But in between all of this, we
49:18
do go away from this wonderful
49:25
the Browns who are standing there and there's a museum
49:30
across the way, but they're not allowed to go into the museum.
49:34
And Kody asks is it because we're plagues?
49:38
JJ says yes. Do you?
49:43
Believe JJ Honey. Janelle goes into this spiel
49:46
about prejudice against them and
49:50
polygamists and blah blah blah
49:54
Could it just be the fucking cameras, bitch?
49:56
Could it just be that they don't
50:00
show to be coming into their religious museum?
50:05
Like you guys are so full of yourselves.
50:07
I understand that there's this
50:11
polygamous sect and The Maine Mormonism church, but like,
50:16
honestly, if you had gone as a
50:19
museum, do you think that they
50:22
It wouldn't be the first business or institution that
50:25
says you can't film in our building like this is a really
50:28
common thing actually, so. Especially in a religious
50:33
museum, right? Right.
50:35
Yeah, it's certainly not government sanctioned.
50:37
It's a literal religious institution.
50:39
They try to paint it as this whole thing that's against them
50:42
because they're being prejudice,
50:45
And I'm a little shocked that Joseph Johnston, RJJ says yes,
50:51
because his community afterwards, I would think would
50:54
be a little pissed about that because you're just like outing
50:58
your community and saying, Nope,
51:00
because you're plagued. You can't come to our museum,
51:03
right? And I kind of doubt that that's
51:05
the case. But he like even if it is the
51:08
case, he just outed his town on TV.
51:12
Yeah, well, at least that, you
51:17
you were talking about Joseph Smith saying I'm going as a lamb
51:20
to the slaughter, what it spoke to me about my thoughts.
51:26
It's like he knew to use religious dogma and language to
51:30
make it seem like he would predict the inevitable and
51:33
obvious future. You have at this point committed
51:37
a crime probably by being a polygamist.
51:39
Not even sure if it's actually
51:41
No one actually said, oh, OK. Well, cool, it's illegal.
51:46
You burned the newspaper to the ground.
51:49
You have declared martial law and now you're saying I'm going
51:53
as a lamb to the slaughter. It's like right when you do a
51:57
bunch of fucked up shit and then
52:01
and then you're going to use this religious language about
52:04
being a lamb going to the slaughter.
52:06
It's like, duh. I just can't stand it because
52:10
people that hear that kind of stuff and are like, oh, it must
52:12
be true. I'm like, connect the fucking
52:14
dots. Yeah, he's the martyr
52:16
conspiracy, conspiracy. Martyr, Martyrism.
52:19
It's ridiculous. It's like, no, you committed
52:22
treason. You did all of these things
52:24
leading up to this. You are not just some
52:28
sacrificial lamb. Right.
52:30
They didn't like break into your
52:32
middle of the night and say you're going to a concentration
52:35
camp like this did not happen like delulu.
52:39
I think that's one of the things
52:42
about this religion in general.
52:43
Did you not realize or do you not think about the things that
52:46
they were doing to all the other people in their community,
52:49
the reason that they actually were pissing people off?
52:53
I don't think that it probably has to do with the amount of
52:56
wives that you had. It probably has to do with your
52:59
religious dogma and your battering of other people around
53:04
They're not going to heaven as as far into heaven as you are
53:08
because they don't don't have as many wives as you do, so they're
53:16
Like fill in the blank. Like these people were not
53:18
Saints walking around being persecuted.
53:20
No. And we know this.
53:21
Yeah. But when Janelle talks about
53:24
experiencing the prejudice in contemporary times.
53:27
I got so annoyed. Because of them not being able
53:33
whatever. It's like, I don't know.
53:35
This is such a lame example. No, it's like.
53:37
Bitch, you've known for fucking years that they don't even your
53:41
own sect. They don't want you talking
53:43
about this. They don't want you going and
53:47
filming Robyn's wedding to Kody. They don't want you doing this
53:52
So if you actually respect your own religion and respect the
53:57
cultures and customs of your religion, blah, blah, blah, then
54:06
You'd be like, well, they just want to protect their peace.
54:08
And so we're not going to go film in there.
54:11
And this ties back to what I couldn't remember earlier about
54:14
Robyn talking about the summaries of the details of the
54:17
whatever. Is that her implication or what
54:19
she was trying to imply earlier in the episode, was that they,
54:41
themselves from you and they don't want you to be a part of
54:46
prejudice against you because they don't want you to film in
54:49
It's ridiculous. Also, you just listen to one man
54:57
know it is what it is. And they're still figuring.
55:02
They're not figuring things out, but kind of like they're
55:06
speculating. Speculating.
55:06
Thank you. We're all.
55:08
Just. Speculating, but it doesn't
55:09
matter because my faith is greater than the speculation.
55:13
Girl, get a grip. Yep.
55:15
All right. You're just listening to a man's
55:21
And this gives Kody a wonderful
55:23
opportunity to talk about how he
55:26
travel because they'll get to experience other cultures,
55:30
beliefs and hopes, and that this
55:34
open hearted. Yeah, my children won't have
55:37
prejudice because they'll, you
55:41
other things. And unlike the people that you
55:44
are holding up on a pedestal who
55:47
were terrorizing people and people were like, we've had
55:50
enough. Yeah, you like forcing women
55:53
into plural marriage, saying that it's going to get them
55:57
closer to God and OK, Yep. But they're so innocent and
56:00
going as lambs to the slaughter. Lambs to the slaughter.
56:05
So Joseph and Hiram are taken to gel gel, but they're put
56:09
upstairs for their own safety because rumors of harassers
56:13
coming have been heard through the Grapevine.
56:16
And this is where we hear about Robyn's connection.
56:20
Oh yes, beautiful, JJ says. Among the people who had
56:25
gathered, there was a fellow by the name of John Fulmer.
56:29
And the camera pans to Robyn, and she's smiling.
56:34
She's got a shitting grin on her face and has to correct him.
56:38
Yeah. Sean Solomon Fullmer Oh no, that
56:44
said. John Solomon Fullmer.
56:46
Thank you, thank you, thank you. I could barely make it out
56:50
because at first I thought she said John Sullivan Fullmer.
56:53
And I thought she said John Follomon fullmer.
56:56
Which is hysterical because I'm like, well, Sullivan is one of
57:03
Like sure, I don't know somewhere her name is Sullivan.
57:05
We re listened like at least
57:07
three times. John Solomon Farmer.
57:09
Right. Eventually we figured out that
57:12
it was Solomon after the 4th listen and because they
57:16
referenced oh, that's why I named my son Solomon.
57:19
And it's like, Oh my. But she didn't even say that's
57:21
why we named our son Solomon. She goes.
57:23
That's why we named her son Fatman.
57:26
And I'm, I'm like, you can't even say his name.
57:28
No wonder why you call him Saul all the time like Better Call
57:31
Saul. Yes, Robyn can't say Solomon.
57:36
It's too many syllables for my
57:38
No, literally. Well.
57:40
Robyn does, you know, she gives us some more details.
57:43
She says. My great, great, great
57:45
grandfather, John Solomon Fulmer.
57:48
Don Fulomon Fulmer. Don Solomon Fulmer was actually
57:53
in the jaw with Joseph Smith. He was acting as a lawyer trying
57:58
to get him out of Jolt. He left the Jol to go get help.
58:03
Joseph Smith might be mad now while she's saying this.
58:08
And I did say jail as clearly as
58:11
Joel. Joel.
58:13
He was in jail. And then while she's telling us
58:16
this totally not moving story that you can barely comprehend,
58:22
she has tears welling in her eyes.
58:25
Girl tears in her eyes talking
58:30
grandfather who was helping out a felon or not as a.
58:34
Lawyer. Yeah, acting as a acting as a He
58:38
wasn't a lawyer. Acting as a lawyer.
58:40
Pretending to be a lawyer for his friend who committed
58:43
treason. Oh, that John Fulmer.
58:45
Fulmer, Oh lawyer. John Fulmer from all the history
58:50
books. Tom Fulham and Fulmer.
58:54
Oh, this woman. Well the worst is yet to come.
58:59
A mob had gathered outside the
59:05
Oh and there's more People broke
59:10
harem was shot 2 times, once in the face, once in the back.
59:14
And he said I am a dead man and.
59:17
Then he died instantly, thank God.
59:19
Right after that he said I'm a dead man, and then he died.
59:23
Here I'm dodging just too clean. And then?
59:26
I got to take this one over girl 'cause earlier you were driving
59:29
me crazy. OK, Joseph.
59:31
Smith, Joseph Smith goes to the window and yells out the window,
59:49
Who did it better? Yeah, let's hear your version,
59:57
window and he yells hold on, my God.
1:00:00
And then he was shot and he fell 13 feet out of the window.
1:00:06
Honey, I can't tell you that I won that one.
1:00:10
You were pretty good. OK, well and you got it gets
1:00:13
worse. And you got the serious.
1:00:14
It gets worse, it gets worse. You're just like, it gets worse,
1:00:21
well and then someone, they were just so angry that they
1:00:25
used the end of their gun, the bayonet, and they rammed it
1:00:30
through him and the Prophet Joseph Smith was killed.
1:00:34
That was really good, honey. I feel like whoever listen, if
1:00:43
know, made-up stories, maybe Kimber should be your.
1:00:46
Dramatic readings by Kimber. I'm just saying, and you have a
1:00:50
clearly a big passion for Hiram Smith and Joseph.
1:00:53
Smith I do. My God, I was obsessed with
1:00:56
those mutton chops. Obsessed.
1:00:58
I'd love to feel them tickle between my thighs.
1:01:01
You just need the tool of God. Come and.
1:01:04
Imagine those mutton chops just tickling your thighs.
1:01:07
They'll. Get like rubber on both your
1:01:08
thighs and it's like just no, that would never happen because
1:01:11
they wouldn't be going downtown.
1:01:12
They'd be like, that's the devil.
1:01:14
'S juice. Cut a hole in your little
1:01:16
sacred, you know, underwear and let me fuck you Like that's
1:01:19
disgusting. I have a feeling there was a lot
1:01:22
of orgies happening and we just don't know about it.
1:01:25
I don't know. Sordid lives.
1:01:27
These people were dignitized. Yes, they were what was.
1:01:30
Going on. Kody tells us Joseph Smith was
1:01:33
killed by a mob. There was no trial.
1:01:37
There was no jury and I'm going,
1:01:41
declared martial law. Like, what are you talking
1:01:44
about? Where would the trial or jury
1:01:46
have been? Like these people are insane
1:01:50
and. When you know, like what these
1:01:52
people were actually doing to others, it's very obvious that
1:01:59
people were just trying to protect their own and that they
1:02:01
weren't just scared of the polygamy and prejudice of the
1:02:06
polygamy. It's like, no, it's way deeper.
1:02:08
It's way more than that. And you don't even know how many
1:02:11
fucking wives he had. So who are you to pretend that
1:02:14
this is like, oh, we know everything about this and this
1:02:17
poor man was haunted down in a
1:02:22
well after he was shot out window and fell dark time fight.
1:02:28
He didn't know any of this. My God, Kody, you disgrace.
1:02:33
Oh Lord my God. Kody, if Joseph Smith could hear
1:02:41
what you said and that you didn't know the truth of his
1:02:43
history, he would have looked you in the eye and said, oh,
1:02:46
Kody, you Sinner among men, how dare you?
1:02:52
Oh, Kody. Grow some mutton chops, Kody,
1:02:55
then maybe we'll listen to you.
1:02:57
Yeah, Kody. All right.
1:02:59
He also says the rest of the world may struggle to see what
1:03:07
God, absolutely. Absolutely.
1:03:09
Well, you just cemented your delusion status, so
1:03:14
congratulations, the rest of the world doesn't see what we see.
1:03:21
They're not delulu. No one sees what you see.
1:03:25
Insanity. Oh my God.
1:03:28
I'm delulu, darling, I'm a delulu.
1:03:31
I feel like he needs some like, horror version of our theme song
1:03:39
When he plays, when he walks, when he walks.
1:03:41
Plays when he walks tip to through the tulips put in the
1:03:45
Kody being delulu, my God. So production gives us some
1:03:51
lovely shots of some buildings and some exteriors of Nauvoo
1:03:55
highlighting the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter Day Saints.
1:03:59
Oh, now we didn't get to come around the Riverbend and see
1:04:02
this. They were just like, oh, hot off
1:04:07
being killed out of a window and another guy being killed by
1:04:11
being shot twice, we're going to have these moments of like,
1:04:15
la da, da, like, Oh, no, everything's great.
1:04:19
I want to know how, Harem said. I'm a dead man.
1:04:23
You were shot in the face. You have no teeth.
1:04:26
I don't believe that. Yes, I'm a gang be.
1:04:29
This Oh my God, I. Just made the worst place I've
1:04:40
I'm grateful for the testament of Joseph Smith, and I believe
1:04:46
Kody says when he finds himself frustrated over his choices and
1:04:50
the wives having expectations of him, he thinks back to those
1:04:54
who have sacrificed so much more so he can live the
1:04:59
principle of plural marriage in peace.
1:05:02
After Kody says this, Robyn makes 2 of the ugliest faces I
1:05:07
have ever seen on a human being in my life.
1:05:10
Because of course she's overreacting and she's got it.
1:05:13
She's her usual. I don't know if this is pick me
1:05:16
vibes. I got to be honest honey, I
1:05:17
don't know what pick me vibes really mean.
1:05:19
You say it all the time and I'm like, I don't know, I'm going.
1:05:20
To have to explain this. This is it.
1:05:23
But she's over in the side being, like, distorting her face
1:05:26
as much as she can. And Kody continues.
1:05:30
I'm grateful for this testimony of Joseph Smith.
1:05:33
So I can sit here and say, you
1:05:35
I know it's crazy, and it might cost me my life, but I believe
1:05:41
in the principle of plural marriage.
1:05:44
And this is where I was really
1:05:47
like cost you your life. Like you're comparing these
1:05:51
things. And it's like we, of course,
1:05:53
later come to find out the state
1:05:56
anything. They were just doing an
1:05:57
investigation. The worst thing that's happened
1:05:59
to you in this season was that
1:06:02
wind for a couple days. And now you're like, oh God,
1:06:06
these people did this thing so I
1:06:09
It's like they'll also love to
1:06:12
they, you know, they have overcome thanks to the people
1:06:16
from the past. And it's like, I thought that
1:06:18
you weren't overcome. I thought that you were still.
1:06:19
You're still being prejudice to God.
1:06:21
Like people are still prejudice against you.
1:06:23
So I don't quite get it. It's really just Kody being able
1:06:28
to blow hot air, I think. Yeah, he's pontificating.
1:06:31
And then we end with a potluck.
1:06:34
Nobody says anything else. We end with Kody's wise words
1:06:37
and then they show the Browns having a little potluck.
1:06:41
They're eating at another picnic table.
1:06:44
Or outside of Harem's Harem's house, they're having a.
1:06:49
Potluck. Yes.
1:06:49
And is he an adult or a child in this home?
1:06:51
We don't know, but they're there and eating at a plastic picnic
1:07:02
So. Did you all enjoy this journey
1:07:09
two. We certainly were scarred for
1:07:11
life. We all made it through.
1:07:13
Amen. Amen.
1:07:13
Your mouth to God's ear. My mouth to God's butt.
1:07:18
You're my Oh, that's not part of the manosphere, darling.
1:07:21
It's not. Oh well, I should know.
1:07:23
Time for mustard seed and shit stain.
1:07:26
And I have made jokes about me going first and then you going
1:07:31
No, I'm going first and I actually am going first.
1:07:33
You do it. My mustard seed for this episode
1:07:42
I'm giving her the mustard seed because she planned this trip.
1:07:49
She just said I can't give her any credit for that.
1:07:54
But when Kody was coming at her at in the RV being all like,
1:07:59
guess what, bitch, I'm mad and I'm going to take it out on you.
1:08:04
back. I don't give a shit.
1:08:05
She's like, I can drive all day.
1:08:06
I can drive all night. I can do whatever.
1:08:08
Also, when the other people were like, how is it that we never
1:08:11
get anything done right? She's like, do it right and then
1:08:18
props for being logical when she's logical and sarcastic
1:08:24
slash getting someone's goat when she should be sarcastic
1:08:29
getting someone's goat and being a driver driving that RV in the
1:08:33
middle of the windstorm being like I don't care, no wind's
1:08:36
going to fuck with me. Look at my hair, look at my
1:08:38
face. I've been through it.
1:08:40
I can keep driving and anyone that's going to bust Kody's
1:08:42
balls like that and keep cool, calm and collected.
1:08:44
Even with dumbass Robyn being like I don't get it.
1:08:47
I'm like, good for you girl. I don't understand.
1:08:49
So I go back and forth on Meri. I can't be consistent with her
1:08:58
second class citizen. Who do you give?
1:09:01
Well, as someone who's not allowed to vote, I suppose I can
1:09:08
Doesn't count in an American election, so I can do it.
1:09:12
Strike this from the record, but continue.
1:09:14
My vote is going to go for one of Doctor Sweets.
1:09:20
Doctor Sweets. And it's fair game here.
1:09:24
OK, Doctor. Sweets, that quote about the
1:09:27
polygamous women that you read. From Mark Twain From Misses Mark
1:09:36
image of Robyn sticking her chin up, rolling her eyes and getting
1:09:43
and joked and pretend she wasn't really offended.
1:09:45
And then we got some good stuff out of all all the wives about
1:09:52
Christine about it. But yeah, it was pretty
1:09:55
hilarious. It was funny.
1:09:56
It was. I'm not all that familiar with
1:10:07
this quote because it's the funniest, or even if they had
1:10:10
him read multiple quotes and that's the one they pulled.
1:10:13
He was smirking through it, like he knew it was like ridiculous
1:10:19
Was a diva he. Was a good sport about it and he
1:10:25
also jokey enough that he probably wouldn't look bad and
1:10:29
he just seemed like a genuinely sweet older gentleman
1:10:33
that I would take a tour from. If Doctor Sweetams was giving me
1:10:41
Boyhood dream home. What's?
1:10:44
Happening right? Now I was like, look into the
1:10:46
crystal ball and I looked and he was like, you're going to be
1:10:49
homely and downtrodden and whatever.
1:10:51
I'd be like, this guy's funny, so you know.
1:10:53
All of a sudden he is a fortune teller.
1:10:56
No, Doctor Sweet Sweetum, whatever his name is Doctor
1:11:01
Sweet. Doctor Sweet.
1:11:02
He's great and I agree. Mustard seeds all around for
1:11:06
doctor Sweets. I'm dead.
1:11:09
Are you ready for your shit stain?
1:11:11
I am ready for my shit stain. My shit stain, of course, has to
1:11:19
know what was going on in the RV as a way to be not held
1:11:23
accountable and to not have to like, have any real back and
1:11:27
forth and to not have to explain anything to anybody.
1:11:30
And also her reactions to things that were happening.
1:11:35
It's like she's really animated and trying to get attention and
1:11:39
like her smiles and the way that she can't even say her own
1:11:43
son's name. I mean, she's just pathetic.
1:11:45
And what is the the jaw that she has the.
1:11:48
Hapsburg Jaw. Thank you.
1:11:50
It's like she really needs that chisel down like Bethenny
1:11:53
Frankel did. It's just a mess.
1:11:55
She's terrible and she's awful and she is a smear in the
1:12:00
underwear of the underbelly of the world.
1:12:02
So, Robyn, you get my shit stain.
1:12:04
Yeah, she really has that avoidant personality down when
1:12:18
She is a complete shit stain and it was ridiculous that she
1:12:23
couldn't say her son's name has a middle name of her great great
1:12:30
understand what she was saying. And I literally looked at Chris
1:12:32
and I said should we put the captions on right?
1:12:34
That's how ridiculous it was. And I.
1:12:36
Fear that the captions might not have been correct.
1:12:38
They probably wouldn't have because we each had written down
1:12:44
or a fourth option. Even so ridiculous she can't say
1:12:53
My shit stain is going to. Can it go to Joseph Johnston?
1:13:02
Mr. JJ and his bowling shirts? Is that allowed?
1:13:07
Listen, you're picking 2 not only side characters but one
1:13:11
time appearing people. So OK, you're missing someone.
1:13:18
Yeah, right. Well, that the bowling shirts
1:13:20
were egregious. I if you want to go with our,
1:13:23
our best friend JJ, you can totally do it.
1:13:25
You, well, you know, you know, the reason that I, I'm
1:13:28
questioning your perception on him is because you said he has
1:13:34
We're going to look back. We're going to watch it back.
1:13:36
I'm going to pull up a picture. Of you'll find it when the like
1:13:38
sun's coming through it and you'll be like look.
1:13:41
I am so prepared for you to be wrong and eat your words.
1:13:46
Listen, I've only been wrong three times, and I have been at
1:13:49
it each time. You're going to eat the Jesus
1:13:52
shit stain out of Robyn's underwear.
1:13:55
Put God's tool in my mouth, I will eat it.
1:13:58
All right, if we're not going to go with JJ because of his
1:14:01
bowling shirts and his ridiculous demeanor, you know,
1:14:07
Honey, I don't. Let me talk you out of your
1:14:08
choices. I believe in women's rights.
1:14:11
I I'm going to do the thing here that is opposite of you and I
1:14:17
would say that Meri is my shit stain.
1:14:20
Oh, oh, this is good. Bring on the drama.
1:14:26
Yeah, because she didn't plan the trip well.
1:14:29
She didn't know how to do her mile math.
1:14:32
She didn't factor in for stops that the family was going to
1:14:36
have to make. She didn't advocate for an extra
1:14:42
It was ridiculous to think that this family could do a trip
1:14:48
across the country in three days and spend one day and then
1:14:52
however the fuck they got back if they did drive all the way
1:14:56
back three days back. Like what are you doing with
1:14:59
your life? What are you guys doing right
1:15:00
now that this had to be so rushed?
1:15:02
If it was production, which I highly doubt, I don't know, it
1:15:09
And then she just doesn't want to take the shit for it from
1:15:13
Kody. And I do semi applaud her for
1:15:16
just rolling her eyes and not taking a shit.
1:15:20
But also I think it's negligent to keep driving when you're
1:15:26
probably tired. And I think that the only reason
1:15:32
Right. And you have a fucking RV full
1:15:38
And so part of me sees Kody's point in all of this, and I hate
1:15:44
Enough. There's a big part of me that
1:15:45
sees the point. And no one offered to drive for
1:15:48
her. Robyn wasn't jumping and driving
1:15:55
She's had 10 red balls. It's like you're putting all of
1:15:59
your children and little Sauls in his car seat in the back of
1:16:07
prove Kody wrong. I don't know.
1:16:11
I am just in shock that you didn't pick Kody Brown.
1:16:14
I am going, wow, girl, you pick Meri over Kody.
1:16:16
You're just. Well, she does a lot of things,
1:16:18
and I just also wanted to spite you as much as she wanted to
1:16:21
spite Kody Brown. Listen, I'm I'm not going to say
1:16:30
came up. She's so proud of her in
1:16:33
brightness. And you were just so mad at me,
1:16:36
but you know, it's OK because I did vote to take your rights
1:16:38
away and all of that. So it's all good.
1:16:41
And you, even in my fake votes, voted to take my right of vote
1:16:48
Quit pulling rank on me. That's all I gotta say.
1:16:51
Quit pulling rank. I'm always telling you what to
1:16:54
You guys, you should vote me off the island.
1:16:57
Okay, so now we're going to do our keep suite moment.
1:17:01
Darling, Our Keep Suite moment this week comes to us from
1:17:04
TikTok and it is from Bonbon who left us a comment recently that
1:17:09
says I binged all of Sister Wives last summer and was
1:17:12
questioning how much of my life I wasted on this family.
1:17:15
Now I know that it wasn't a waste of time.
1:17:18
It was so I could thoroughly enjoy your podcast.
1:17:20
Your podcast is a delightful dessert after a long dried up
1:17:25
meal. Thank you Bonbon.
1:17:27
A dessert after a long dried up meal.
1:17:30
I want to bon bon after a long dried up meal.
1:17:33
Listen, this is a good connect, yes?
1:17:35
And also, no, you did not waste your time, but we are surely
1:17:39
fucking wasting our time watching it and spending hours
1:17:47
warfare that is the Brown family.
1:17:49
Bon Bon, while we appreciate the praise, we can't agree that you
1:17:54
wasted your life and your time. No, because you're listening to
1:17:58
this right now. I love that.
1:17:59
I love it too. Our next episode is the season
1:18:08
happening, very exciting stuff. Hopefully more angels will come
1:18:11
singing. Kimber, have you touched God's