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Transcript

Are You Hiding Your Hardest Thoughts? Why It’s Time To Talk · Voices for Voices®

• 0:01
  Voices for Voices, Justin Alan Hayes: Hi everyone, it's Justin here, Voices for Voices.
• 0:05
  Voices for Voices, Justin Alan Hayes: Thank you for joining us.
• 0:06
  Voices for Voices, Justin Alan Hayes: Whether watching, listening here in the United States or across the world, if this is your first episode, welcome.
• 0:13
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  Voices for Voices, Justin Alan Hayes: Uh, even uh if you don't have your phone out already, you can pull that out and uh share the voices for voices, podcasts and TV show, maybe 25 or 50 contacts in your phone.
• 0:45
  Voices for Voices, Justin Alan Hayes: Thank you for being with us.
• 0:47
  Voices for Voices, Justin Alan Hayes: We are every day reaching new heights, new records.
• 0:58
  Voices for Voices, Justin Alan Hayes: 565 episodes.
• 1:03
  Voices for Voices, Justin Alan Hayes: Can you believe it?
• 1:04
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• 1:07
  Voices for Voices, Justin Alan Hayes: That's what we're trying to do.
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  Voices for Voices, Justin Alan Hayes: We're trying to believe it and dig it because it's it's incredible.
• 1:14
  Voices for Voices, Justin Alan Hayes: We have this tiny, tiny megaphone.
• 1:19
  Voices for Voices, Justin Alan Hayes: You keep tuning in, show after show, episode after episode, no matter where you may be, across the world, here in the United States, in the state of Ohio, state of Florida, California, Nebraska, Missouri, Texas.
• 1:41
  Voices for Voices, Justin Alan Hayes: It doesn't matter where you're from, you're all part of the Voices for Voices family.
• 1:48
  Voices for Voices, Justin Alan Hayes: Thank you for making part of your day with part of our day.
• 1:56
  Voices for Voices, Justin Alan Hayes: It's just an incredible feeling to have that connection.
• 2:04
  Voices for Voices, Justin Alan Hayes: To be able to talk, to be able to share.
• 2:53
  Voices for Voices, Justin Alan Hayes: What we can endure, what we can go through.
• 3:09
  Voices for Voices, Justin Alan Hayes: It's really truly remarkable.
• 3:19
  Voices for Voices, Justin Alan Hayes: You know, we go into different visits, different doctor visits, therapy.
• 3:28
  Voices for Voices, Justin Alan Hayes: Speaking for me, and I get in or I get out what I put in.
• 3:41
  Voices for Voices, Justin Alan Hayes: So if I talk and I share, I tend to get a lot more out of the appointments than if I don't.
• 4:02
  Voices for Voices, Justin Alan Hayes: I guess my mind is to an extent.
• 4:13
  Voices for Voices, Justin Alan Hayes: And it's not really until these appointments that we do realize all that goes on in a life, all the different aspects, all areas.
• 4:36
  Voices for Voices, Justin Alan Hayes: We're living, breathing it every day.
• 4:43
  Voices for Voices, Justin Alan Hayes: But time goes by so fast.
• 4:51
  Voices for Voices, Justin Alan Hayes: Sometimes we want time to go faster, sometimes we want to go slower.
• 5:01
  Voices for Voices, Justin Alan Hayes: And so when I'm at my appointments, I try my best.
• 5:08
  Voices for Voices, Justin Alan Hayes: I do my best.
• 5:10
  Voices for Voices, Justin Alan Hayes: I don't want to get on to get out of the area of saying trying.
• 5:18
  Voices for Voices, Justin Alan Hayes: Because I'm more than trying.
• 5:21
  Voices for Voices, Justin Alan Hayes: Trying would be I'm gonna try this for for one time or two times.
• 5:26
  Voices for Voices, Justin Alan Hayes: I've been doing more than trying.
• 5:30
  Voices for Voices, Justin Alan Hayes: So so probably have you.
• 6:33
  Voices for Voices, Justin Alan Hayes: I mean, it depends on how long you've had your your doctor, your therapist.
• 6:46
  Voices for Voices, Justin Alan Hayes: Yeah, the longer you're able to go, the more you can get a flow of sharing, getting feedback, sharing, getting feedback.
• 7:10
  Voices for Voices, Justin Alan Hayes: It's really not hard, as it seems.
• 7:20
  Voices for Voices, Justin Alan Hayes: You know, we think of maybe think of maybe the gold, right?
• 7:27
  Voices for Voices, Justin Alan Hayes: We go mining and we find a lot of gold.
• 7:31
  Voices for Voices, Justin Alan Hayes: We want to hold on to it, we don't want to give it away.
• 7:34
  Voices for Voices, Justin Alan Hayes: Maybe at some point we want to sell it.
• 7:39
  Voices for Voices, Justin Alan Hayes: But at first, if we want to hold on, we're gonna hold on to it.
• 7:45
  Voices for Voices, Justin Alan Hayes: And I equate that to our thoughts, our feelings, what the human body goes through on a day-to-day basis.
• 8:04
  Voices for Voices, Justin Alan Hayes: Sometimes we feel like we're spinning our wheels, we're not not making any progress.
• 8:16
  Voices for Voices, Justin Alan Hayes: Sometimes we give up, sometimes we don't.
• 8:24
  Voices for Voices, Justin Alan Hayes: But we hold on sometimes to thoughts and experiences and events that have shaped our mind, our body, our soul, our spirit to some degree over the course of time.
• 8:46
  Voices for Voices, Justin Alan Hayes: And so, like that gold that we just found, we want to hold on to those like they're these sacred thoughts, feelings, experiences, you name it.
• 9:16
  Voices for Voices, Justin Alan Hayes: But if we just hold on to that gold, we don't do anything, and nothing happens.
• 9:27
  Voices for Voices, Justin Alan Hayes: If we sell it, we may make money, may turn it into jewelry.
• 9:40
  Voices for Voices, Justin Alan Hayes: But if we're just sitting with that gold in our hands or in a safe, what what what do we think that the gold's gonna do?
• 9:59
  Voices for Voices, Justin Alan Hayes: It's gonna sit there.
• 10:03
  Voices for Voices, Justin Alan Hayes: It might sit there, and there'd be more gold that's found.
• 10:09
  Voices for Voices, Justin Alan Hayes: And then so we just add to our pile.
• 10:18
  Voices for Voices, Justin Alan Hayes: Our thoughts are a lot like that.
• 10:22
  Voices for Voices, Justin Alan Hayes: It's like we put our thoughts, our feelings, our aspirations, our goals.
• 10:30
  Voices for Voices, Justin Alan Hayes: We try to file those away.
• 10:38
  Voices for Voices, Justin Alan Hayes: Conversation went poorly.
• 10:43
  Voices for Voices, Justin Alan Hayes: People are calling names, and so we just keep holding on to that.
• 10:52
  Voices for Voices, Justin Alan Hayes: Keep holding on, keep holding on.
• 10:59
  Voices for Voices, Justin Alan Hayes: We might not want to share, might not want to talk about it.
• 11:04
  Voices for Voices, Justin Alan Hayes: So we keep holding on to that.
• 11:12
  Voices for Voices, Justin Alan Hayes: We want to keep holding on to that.
• 11:19
  Voices for Voices, Justin Alan Hayes: So I'm gonna just challenge everybody.
• 11:30
  Voices for Voices, Justin Alan Hayes: Try not to hold on to that.
• 11:38
  Voices for Voices, Justin Alan Hayes: I held on to it for so many years.
• 11:43
  Voices for Voices, Justin Alan Hayes: It's like this tightly wound spring.
• 11:48
  Voices for Voices, Justin Alan Hayes: Each new thing, crank it back another time.
• 11:53
  Voices for Voices, Justin Alan Hayes: Another thing, crank it back, another event, another conversation, crank it back, crank.
• 12:00
  Voices for Voices, Justin Alan Hayes: Pretty soon it's gonna get really hard to crank that spring back.
• 12:19
  Voices for Voices, Justin Alan Hayes: One of three things is gonna happen at some point.
• 12:26
  Voices for Voices, Justin Alan Hayes: The more we crank that spring back with our thoughts, memories, the more we hold in.
• 12:41
  Voices for Voices, Justin Alan Hayes: The spring's gonna break.
• 12:44
  Voices for Voices, Justin Alan Hayes: It's gonna pop off before we want it to.
• 12:49
  Voices for Voices, Justin Alan Hayes: Or it'll just keep sitting there.
• 12:58
  Voices for Voices, Justin Alan Hayes: Or how about this?
• 13:01
  Voices for Voices, Justin Alan Hayes: We crank it a two or three or four times, and then we talk to somebody.
• 13:11
  Voices for Voices, Justin Alan Hayes: We share, and then that crank begins to loosen up because instead of it, instead of the the spring breaking or kind of going out of control, because we've held so much in.
• 13:41
  Voices for Voices, Justin Alan Hayes: Because we've been so worried, so concerned about what what are they gonna think when I talk about this?
• 13:51
  Voices for Voices, Justin Alan Hayes: What are they gonna say?
• 13:55
  Voices for Voices, Justin Alan Hayes: I've been there where I've wanted to hold things in, but I leave appointments, I leave and I don't I don't get anywhere.
• 14:15
  Voices for Voices, Justin Alan Hayes: Because if I'm not gonna share, then the physician, psychiatrist, the therapist, they're not gonna be able to help.
• 14:32
  Voices for Voices, Justin Alan Hayes: They're not gonna help alleviate that extra tension on the spring that we so dearly need.
• 14:49
  Voices for Voices, Justin Alan Hayes: This doesn't mean things are gonna be perfect, they're not.
• 14:52
  Voices for Voices, Justin Alan Hayes: Nothing is, nobody is what it is gonna do is gonna make things a little bit more manageable, different options how to how to cope a little bit again doesn't fix everything.
• 15:27
  Voices for Voices, Justin Alan Hayes: But if you're like me and had 138 things feel guilty about, maybe I leave a session and it's only 130, and then 129, and then you get the picture.
• 15:47
  Voices for Voices, Justin Alan Hayes: There's gonna be new ones added, there's gonna be old ones that are gonna fall off the list, but it's all up to us.
• 16:01
  Voices for Voices, Justin Alan Hayes: How bad do we want it?
• 16:08
  Voices for Voices, Justin Alan Hayes: How bad do we want to start on the mend?
• 16:22
  Voices for Voices, Justin Alan Hayes: Stigma, let's talk about that.
• 16:26
  Voices for Voices, Justin Alan Hayes: Ton of stigma.
• 16:27
  Voices for Voices, Justin Alan Hayes: Doesn't matter what anybody says.
• 16:31
  Voices for Voices, Justin Alan Hayes: There's stigma around mental health, trauma, recovery, addiction, all those.
• 16:38
  Voices for Voices, Justin Alan Hayes: Some don't want to say, Oh, I've a I have a mental illness, and that's enough to hold somebody off from getting treatment.
• 16:52
  Voices for Voices, Justin Alan Hayes: So they don't get the treatment, and then that spring keeps tightening and tightening and tightening and tightening over the course of days, weeks, months, years.
• 17:18
  Voices for Voices, Justin Alan Hayes: And only we can only we can make that call.
• 17:30
  Voices for Voices, Justin Alan Hayes: Otherwise, we'd be getting cold calls from doctors and psychiatrists and therapists, and I'm not talking about that.
• 17:45
  Voices for Voices, Justin Alan Hayes: I'm talking where you reach out to somebody, you try, and you see if it's a good fit.
• 18:02
  Voices for Voices, Justin Alan Hayes: You may just want to share a lot.
• 18:05
  Voices for Voices, Justin Alan Hayes: So having someone who listens, you may have somebody that gets homework, and then that might just add to the stress level, the anxiety level.
• 18:24
  Voices for Voices, Justin Alan Hayes: And so we're able to switch therapists, psychiatrists.
• 18:32
  Voices for Voices, Justin Alan Hayes: That's one thing that we're able to do.
• 18:41
  Voices for Voices, Justin Alan Hayes: If there's not that right fit and connection of what you need, you feel like you're being judged, and you either bring it up, or you might just think, you know what?
• 18:56
  Voices for Voices, Justin Alan Hayes: I'm gonna finish disappointment and then I'm gonna look for a new professional, a new practitioner.
• 19:14
  Voices for Voices, Justin Alan Hayes: Because if we're not able to connect, we don't have somebody that understands us as much as possible, it's gonna make that recovery even harder and even longer.
• 19:33
  Voices for Voices, Justin Alan Hayes: And I don't want that for you.
• 19:37
  Voices for Voices, Justin Alan Hayes: Your family, your friends, your loved ones, significant others.
• 19:43
  Voices for Voices, Justin Alan Hayes: We don't want that for you.
• 19:54
  Voices for Voices, Justin Alan Hayes: These aren't easy topics.
• 20:01
  Voices for Voices, Justin Alan Hayes: Even for me to talk about.
• 20:07
  Voices for Voices, Justin Alan Hayes: Even after all the visits, all the therapy, all the medication, everything.
• 20:15
  Voices for Voices, Justin Alan Hayes: Still not easy to talk about.
• 20:24
  Voices for Voices, Justin Alan Hayes: But we love and we care for people all across the world.
• 20:32
  Voices for Voices, Justin Alan Hayes: So that's why we do it.
• 20:39
  Voices for Voices, Justin Alan Hayes: Makes me anxious, makes me stressed to talk about this.
• 20:57
  Voices for Voices, Justin Alan Hayes: Or more than one person.
• 21:05
  Voices for Voices, Justin Alan Hayes: That's what I'm here for.
• 21:12
  Voices for Voices, Justin Alan Hayes: I'm on earth to help people.
• 21:15
  Voices for Voices, Justin Alan Hayes: Some people might say, No, you're not.
• 21:19
  Voices for Voices, Justin Alan Hayes: And I I just have to continue on.
• 21:25
  Voices for Voices, Justin Alan Hayes: I just have to continue.
• 21:30
  Voices for Voices, Justin Alan Hayes: Some people just will never understand, and we have to be okay with that.
• 21:43
  Voices for Voices, Justin Alan Hayes: That's why, even it's even more critical that you get your mental health team in order.
• 22:03
  Voices for Voices, Justin Alan Hayes: 'Cause not everybody's gonna say, Oh, good job, Justin, way to go.
• 22:12
  Voices for Voices, Justin Alan Hayes: I'd like that.
• 22:15
  Voices for Voices, Justin Alan Hayes: It'd make me feel better.
• 22:25
  Voices for Voices, Justin Alan Hayes: But I found no matter how much I share, no matter how much we talk.
• 22:36
  Voices for Voices, Justin Alan Hayes: They're just individuals, they don't want to hear it, they're embarrassed, they're jealous.
• 22:47
  Voices for Voices, Justin Alan Hayes: I don't know what it is, but we got a tiny megaphone, and that tiny megaphone can help a person or 10 or 15.
• 23:05
  Voices for Voices, Justin Alan Hayes: And by you sharing the Voices for Voices podcast with 25 of your contacts in her phone, that gives us an opportunity, a free opportunity.
• 23:21
  Voices for Voices, Justin Alan Hayes: You don't have to pay to do it.
• 23:25
  Voices for Voices, Justin Alan Hayes: You're already probably watching or listening to shows and and podcasts.
• 23:32
  Voices for Voices, Justin Alan Hayes: Make ours wanna when you play on repeat.
• 23:39
  Voices for Voices, Justin Alan Hayes: Start it back at number one.
• 23:44
  Voices for Voices, Justin Alan Hayes: Start it at five hundred and sixty.
• 23:46
  Voices for Voices, Justin Alan Hayes: Start it at two fifty.
• 23:50
  Voices for Voices, Justin Alan Hayes: Just start it.
• 23:59
  Voices for Voices, Justin Alan Hayes: You see these books behind me.
• 24:02
  Voices for Voices, Justin Alan Hayes: Oh, he's trying to sell a book.
• 24:07
  Voices for Voices, Justin Alan Hayes: If you've looked at our catalog, you'd see we have the mental health, my mental health journey, titled The House of You Prescription for Living.
• 24:27
  Voices for Voices, Justin Alan Hayes: We have episodes in a block, and each of those episodes covers a chapter.
• 24:39
  Voices for Voices, Justin Alan Hayes: So you don't even have to buy the book.
• 24:49
  Voices for Voices, Justin Alan Hayes: You can just listen to those episodes.
• 24:59
  Voices for Voices, Justin Alan Hayes: So would I like you to buy a book?
• 25:01
  Voices for Voices, Justin Alan Hayes: Yeah.
• 25:02
  Voices for Voices, Justin Alan Hayes: Who wouldn't?
• 25:04
  Voices for Voices, Justin Alan Hayes: I gave it to you free.
• 25:10
  Voices for Voices, Justin Alan Hayes: I gave it to you free.
• 25:12
  Voices for Voices, Justin Alan Hayes: Still there.
• 25:13
  Voices for Voices, Justin Alan Hayes: It's gonna remain there until it remains there.
• 25:23
  Voices for Voices, Justin Alan Hayes: So I hope you see a little bit more light after this show.
• 25:29
  Voices for Voices, Justin Alan Hayes: If there's more people like you than against against more people like me than not.
• 25:43
  Voices for Voices, Justin Alan Hayes: More people have anxiety and stress than we are led to believe.
• 25:55
  Voices for Voices, Justin Alan Hayes: The same person we may feel that doesn't have some of the same issues or problems that we do, or probably some of the same people who think the same thing about us.
• 26:14
  Voices for Voices, Justin Alan Hayes: Oh, Justin doesn't have this, he doesn't have that.
• 26:21
  Voices for Voices, Justin Alan Hayes: So let's try not judge, let's try to help.
• 26:27
  Voices for Voices, Justin Alan Hayes: Let's try to be a friend.
• 26:31
  Voices for Voices, Justin Alan Hayes: Be somebody we can talk to.
• 26:39
  Voices for Voices, Justin Alan Hayes: Or be a listener.
• 26:42
  Voices for Voices, Justin Alan Hayes: And instead of saying, well, I have to waste my time to listen to somebody's problems.
• 26:48
  Voices for Voices, Justin Alan Hayes: Well, would you like that person to sit and listen to your problems and my problems?
• 27:01
  Voices for Voices, Justin Alan Hayes: If we knew it would help, I'm pretty sure we would.
• 27:11
  Voices for Voices, Justin Alan Hayes: So thank you for tuning in.
• 27:14
  Voices for Voices, Justin Alan Hayes: We'd love to have you back.
• 27:18
  Voices for Voices, Justin Alan Hayes: Browse through our expansive episode catalog.
• 27:24
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• 27:27
  Voices for Voices, Justin Alan Hayes: Watch and listen at your convenience.
• 27:32
  Voices for Voices, Justin Alan Hayes: Let's celebrate the voices of everybody in the world.
• 27:37
  Voices for Voices, Justin Alan Hayes: And at the real core, let's be a voice for not only ourselves, but maybe somebody else in need.
• 27:46
  Voices for Voices, Justin Alan Hayes: Maybe somebody's gone before us.
• 27:49
  Voices for Voices, Justin Alan Hayes: Their voice still needs to be heard.
• 27:57
  Voices for Voices, Justin Alan Hayes: So thank you very much for joining us.
• 27:59
  Voices for Voices, Justin Alan Hayes: We're grateful to have you with us.
• 28:04
  Voices for Voices, Justin Alan Hayes: And you'll see us or hear us on the next episode of the Voices for Voices podcast and TV show.
• 28:15
  Voices for Voices, Justin Alan Hayes: Bye bye for now.