Latest / Xenomania / Wait… Leonardo DiCaprio Is in Critters 3? - Xenomania 68

Transcript

Wait… Leonardo DiCaprio Is in Critters 3? - Xenomania 68 · Xenomania

• 0:00
  Jon: this week on Xenomania.
• 0:02
  Join us as we return to the world of the Crites for Critters three, the
• 0:07
  debut of Leonardo DiCaprio and a whole bunch of people you never heard of.
• 0:13
  Beyond that.
• 0:15
  Join us for exciting conversations that mainly have nothing
• 0:20
  to do with critters three.
• 0:23
  This is Xenomania.
• 0:26
  These are critters three.
• 0:46
  Ryan: Us and then outta the blue, you just throw a curve ball.
• 0:48
  It's like you ever see like, you know, like Stranger Things?
• 0:51
  No, not really up to three seasons, but I've seen one day at after
• 0:54
  another, whatever that show is.
• 0:56
  Jon: One day at a time, Ryan,
• 0:58
  Ryan: at,
• 0:59
  Jon: one day at a time, because I,
• 1:02
  Ryan: that.
• 1:03
  Jon: I was like eight to 10 years old and it was on Channel 11 every
• 1:07
  day when I got home from school.
• 1:09
  And I would much rather watch 70 sitcoms over doing homework.
• 1:15
  Ryan: Okay.
• 1:15
  All
• 1:15
  Jon: So I watched all of that.
• 1:17
  I watched all of, I've seen every little house on the Prairie episode.
• 1:21
  Multiple times.
• 1:23
  Kearns: that
• 1:23
  Jon: Multiple.
• 1:25
  Ryan: that's a
• 1:25
  Kearns: That was for
• 1:26
  Jon: No, it was really the same.
• 1:28
  Kearns: you.
• 1:29
  Jon: It was really the same reason I wanted to milk Rorick, but I wanted
• 1:32
  Melissa, Melissa Gilbert to milk me
• 1:36
  Ryan: Good night everybody.
• 1:37
  Kearns: Oh
• 1:37
  Jon: and,
• 1:38
  Kearns: would've been
• 1:38
  Jon: and young Val, young Valerie Tonelli.
• 1:42
  Like, oh,
• 1:43
  Kearns: Yeah,
• 1:44
  Jon: I, I think, I think old Valerie Tonelli is probably still pretty hot too.
• 1:48
  But
• 1:48
  Ryan: Were you a Faxa Life fan?
• 1:51
  Jon: yeah, I watching a lot of Facts of Life too.
• 1:53
  Kearns: of life.
• 1:53
  I watched Facts of Life for non pervy reasons, though.
• 1:55
  It was just a good show.
• 1:56
  Jon: Yeah.
• 1:57
  I, facts of Life was less pervy, although I, again, like it's another
• 2:01
  one of those shows you can kind of get my type in women from because of Joe.
• 2:05
  Kearns: they're all there.
• 2:06
  Yeah, that's a good point.
• 2:08
  Ryan: see, we, we had the benefit though, like our generation had
• 2:11
  the benefit of like Nick at night.
• 2:12
  So like we got introduced to I Love Lucy at like eight o'clock, nine
• 2:16
  o'clock, and what was the other one?
• 2:18
  I'd say Mash.
• 2:19
  I love Lucy Honeymooners,
• 2:21
  Kearns: Yeah.
• 2:22
  Jon: Yeah.
• 2:22
  Yeah.
• 2:23
  I got a good dose.
• 2:23
  All those without, uh, Nick at night.
• 2:26
  They were just,
• 2:27
  Ryan: Yep.
• 2:28
  Jon: yeah, they were just on Sunday sappy days, like
• 2:32
  Kearns: I was gonna say
• 2:32
  Jon: w.
• 2:33
  Kearns: of the arrow when they were looping.
• 2:35
  Jon: Yeah.
• 2:35
  And we did, we had a cable box.
• 2:37
  We didn't have, there was no remote.
• 2:39
  So the remote was your brother.
• 2:41
  So you'd punch him to change the channel and he'd get up and change the channel?
• 2:44
  Ryan: You definitely watched emergency,
• 2:47
  Jon: No, that wasn't really on,
• 2:49
  Ryan: really
• 2:50
  Kearns: What about
• 2:50
  Jon: eh, I wasn't into da, I didn't like the nighttime soaps.
• 2:55
  Kearns: Yeah, good call
• 2:55
  Ryan: dark shadows.
• 2:56
  That
• 2:57
  Kearns: guy's.
• 2:57
  Jon: Eh, nah,
• 2:58
  Ryan: that was a nighttime soap,
• 3:00
  Jon: nah.
• 3:00
  I didn't really like it.
• 3:01
  I think that might've been banned in my house too.
• 3:05
  Ryan: Uh,
• 3:05
  Kearns: maybe.
• 3:06
  Ryan: as well, can you mention what else was banned in your house?
• 3:09
  Jon: It was.
• 3:10
  It was mash, dukes of hazard.
• 3:14
  Kearns: Wow.
• 3:15
  Ryan: I can agree with that.
• 3:16
  Was it the shorts?
• 3:18
  Jon: No, no.
• 3:19
  I, I think, I think it was my dad's early.
• 3:21
  A adoption of the, we really shouldn't have the Confederate flag on things.
• 3:27
  Kearns: I mean, fair,
• 3:28
  Jon: So,
• 3:29
  Kearns: fair.
• 3:30
  Jon: I, I think, I think that that's the one that makes the most sense.
• 3:33
  No.
• 3:34
  A team.
• 3:35
  Kearns: Oh, you
• 3:37
  Jon: No a team.
• 3:37
  He, uh, I don't know.
• 3:40
  I, it's not, it's,
• 3:42
  Kearns: T.
• 3:43
  Jon: not violence because my day, we could watch just about any movie.
• 3:47
  Kearns: Well,
• 3:47
  Jon: saw The Godfather when I was like eight.
• 3:49
  Kearns: Oh,
• 3:50
  Jon: it's,
• 3:50
  Ryan: Yeah.
• 3:52
  Jon: you know, it's a, it's not, it's, it's not like it was a violence thing.
• 3:55
  It was just, I, I don't know.
• 3:58
  And we used to sneak MacGyver
• 4:00
  Ryan: Wait,
• 4:02
  Kearns: You did hit a thing against mullets.
• 4:04
  Jon: maybe.
• 4:05
  Ryan: wait.
• 4:05
  Were you watching, uh, moonlighting on your own though?
• 4:09
  Jon: Yeah.
• 4:10
  Kearns: probably the brakes for a
• 4:12
  Jon: Yeah.
• 4:12
  Kearns: guy.
• 4:13
  Jon: Let's go back to,
• 4:14
  Ryan: or
• 4:14
  Jon: let's go back to how One Day at A Time even comes up in this,
• 4:18
  in a discussion of Critters three.
• 4:21
  Kearns: remember
• 4:22
  Jon: Oh, I do.
• 4:23
  It's be, it's because, Frank, the superintendent of the apartment building
• 4:27
  has to have been modeled off of the character Schneider in one day at a time
• 4:31
  Ryan: Minus
• 4:32
  Jon: has to have been
• 4:34
  Ryan: That
• 4:34
  Jon: minus the mustache with a heavy dose of sleaze added.
• 4:39
  Ryan: Yes.
• 4:40
  Kearns: Yes.
• 4:41
  Ryan: Yes.
• 4:42
  Kearns: Yes, indeed.
• 4:43
  Ryan: It
• 4:44
  Kearns: Is he?
• 4:44
  He's the first to eat it too, isn't he?
• 4:46
  Jon: He is one of the only to
• 4:48
  Ryan: Yep.
• 4:48
  Kearns: Yeah, good
• 4:49
  Jon: this is a very low body count for a Critters movie.
• 4:53
  Ryan: I feel like it went more to the thrill and comedic aspect.
• 4:56
  Like it's more, it's more gremlins, even down to the part
• 5:00
  where you have one critter.
• 5:02
  I'm calling him bleached for this episode, his half of his face is bleached
• 5:06
  similar to like, uh, spike or Stripe.
• 5:10
  There we go.
• 5:11
  I was gonna call him Mohawk, but it was
• 5:12
  Kearns: Yeah.
• 5:14
  Jon: Yeah.
• 5:14
  Yeah, I mean that scene in the kitchen is definitely ripped from gremlins
• 5:19
  where they're, you know, eating everything and the one of them's
• 5:22
  pouring the dish detergent down his throat, and then he burps bubbles and
• 5:26
  Ryan: No one got microwaved.
• 5:28
  Jon: yeah,
• 5:29
  Ryan: it.
• 5:29
  Jon: they, it definitely critters three sinks more into
• 5:34
  the farce of the whole setup.
• 5:38
  Ryan: But it's
• 5:38
  Kearns: Mm-hmm.
• 5:38
  Ryan: film though.
• 5:39
  Like, I
• 5:40
  Jon: No,
• 5:41
  Ryan: in expecting it to be like, horrible and like reading reviews.
• 5:44
  I'm like, oh, this is gonna be crap.
• 5:46
  And I was surprised, like, it's not like up to the level of the first two,
• 5:50
  Jon: no.
• 5:51
  Ryan: decent.
• 5:51
  It's a nice segue for what
• 5:53
  Jon: Yeah,
• 5:53
  Ryan: for the story.
• 5:56
  Kearns: Gets the job
• 5:56
  Jon: yeah.
• 5:57
  Ryan: Yeah.
• 5:58
  Jon: and you get young Leo.
• 6:00
  Kearns: I mean, yeah.
• 6:01
  Josh rolls in.
• 6:03
  Ryan: which was supposed to be your hero.
• 6:05
  Carrie Ellis, according to
• 6:06
  Jon: Allegedly, which is, which is weird.
• 6:09
  So Leonardo DiCaprio is 17 when this movie comes out.
• 6:14
  Ryan: Okay.
• 6:14
  Jon: He was probably 15, 16 when it was filmed.
• 6:17
  So the, if they had cast Kerry Elis in this role, number
• 6:22
  one, he's like 12 years older.
• 6:25
  Yeah, he's 12 years older.
• 6:27
  so the whole little romance between Josh and Amy either would be
• 6:33
  extremely creepy or non-existent.
• 6:35
  You'd have to completely change that whole story.
• 6:39
  Ryan: make
• 6:39
  Kearns: Yeah.
• 6:39
  Doesn't make much sense.
• 6:41
  The script just doesn't work
• 6:43
  Jon: No, no.
• 6:43
  Kearns: with Carrie
• 6:44
  Jon: They,
• 6:44
  Kearns: And
• 6:45
  Jon: yeah,
• 6:45
  Kearns: Carrie Ellis as well, right?
• 6:48
  Jon: it's according to IMDB.
• 6:50
  I don't know if it's like, it's,
• 6:53
  Kearns: Hmm.
• 6:53
  Jon: yeah, I mean usually, but, but I, well, I can usually, if you
• 6:57
  dig enough on there, you can find enough mistakes to make you question.
• 7:02
  Ryan: ib,
• 7:03
  Kearns: Right.
• 7:04
  Ryan: to like Wikipedia, like you have a higher chance of, you know, finding a
• 7:08
  mistake on Wikipedia compared to IMDB.
• 7:10
  Kearns: Well, they're cited.
• 7:11
  You just have to go off the site
• 7:13
  Jon: Yeah.
• 7:14
  Kearns: follow the citations just like anything else.
• 7:16
  Jon: Yeah,
• 7:17
  Ryan: True.
• 7:18
  Kearns: all you gotta do the work.
• 7:20
  Jon: yeah.
• 7:20
  Ryan: point?
• 7:22
  Kearns: Ellis, I think said it in a director's commentary.
• 7:25
  I think that's where it comes from.
• 7:26
  From my MDB,
• 7:27
  Jon: Okay.
• 7:28
  Kearns: is very Carrie Ellis of him,
• 7:30
  Jon: Because it, it's also after he would've been a
• 7:33
  star from Princess Bride too.
• 7:35
  This is like four or five years after that
• 7:39
  Ryan: 87.
• 7:39
  Kearns: This is the peak of his career.
• 7:41
  I mean, maybe they offered him another part and he just said, Josh,
• 7:44
  Jon: maybe.
• 7:45
  Kearns: other part could he have
• 7:46
  Jon: Yeah.
• 7:47
  I mean,
• 7:48
  Ryan: I
• 7:49
  Kearns: He's a
• 7:49
  Jon: he'd be, he'd be too young to be the dad may, maybe Frank, the superintendent.
• 7:55
  Ryan: I
• 7:55
  Kearns: Ha ha.
• 7:56
  Ryan: Frank.
• 7:58
  Kearns: The Schneider
• 7:58
  Jon: I.
• 7:59
  Ryan: the stepfather?
• 8:00
  Jon: He's, I mean, he'd be way too young for the stepfather.
• 8:04
  Ryan: but it would
• 8:04
  Kearns: Yeah, not, not enough mustache.
• 8:06
  Jon: I mean, you could, make it work, but like, I don't know if car always can
• 8:11
  play a big enough dirt bag for that guy.
• 8:15
  'cause that guy, like, um,
• 8:18
  Kearns: You've never seen Tarzan
• 8:19
  Jon: they, they,
• 8:19
  Kearns: No.
• 8:20
  Is it the Jungle Book?
• 8:20
  The Jungle Book?
• 8:21
  Yeah.
• 8:21
  Ryan: Book.
• 8:22
  Jon: I mean, the landlord, Josh's stepfather is like stereotypical, late
• 8:30
  eighties, early nineties slumlord, like, he's purposely letting the
• 8:35
  building fall apart so he can sell it so it can be developed in a mall.
• 8:39
  he's not a quality landlord.
• 8:42
  he's just in there for some dollars.
• 8:44
  Kearns: Yeah.
• 8:45
  Ryan: Yep.
• 8:47
  Which
• 8:47
  Kearns: does.
• 8:48
  Ryan: I was gonna say, like this film is like early nineties,
• 8:51
  uh, came out December, 1991.
• 8:54
  You can still feel the vibes of the eighties though, in it.
• 8:57
  It's
• 8:58
  Jon: Absolutely.
• 8:58
  Ryan: it's like when the
• 8:59
  Kearns: Yeah.
• 9:00
  Ryan: to find its own, but it really kind of was just like
• 9:03
  Kearns: Well that's,
• 9:04
  Ryan: the
• 9:05
  Kearns: I've in other episodes a three year rollover from the
• 9:08
  Jon: Mm-hmm.
• 9:09
  Ryan: Yep,
• 9:09
  Kearns: it really isn't the nineties yet until you get to 93, 94.
• 9:13
  Jon: Yeah.
• 9:13
  Kearns: I feel like maybe even four or five.
• 9:15
  And then you have the nineties vibe, but you like the, the vibrant colors
• 9:18
  of the eighties, the weird style, the,
• 9:21
  Jon: Mm-hmm.
• 9:22
  Kearns: parachute, everything.
• 9:23
  We weren't into the grunge era quite yet by
• 9:26
  Jon: No,
• 9:27
  Ryan: I'd say
• 9:28
  Jon: no.
• 9:28
  Ryan: 94 on that one.
• 9:29
  When Nirvana was like more popular, I would think
• 9:33
  Kearns: Mm-hmm.
• 9:34
  Ryan: popular, but next level.
• 9:37
  Jon: I mean, really vi at 91, they weren't.
• 9:41
  Even at maybe the end of 91, it started, but
• 9:46
  Kearns: You think of like Sound Garden, Nirvana, um, who else was jumping?
• 9:51
  away from like Twisted Sister and those types of bands to grungy more nineties.
• 9:57
  Rock
• 9:58
  Jon: unfortunately I will say it, they,
• 10:04
  Kearns: Limp
• 10:04
  Jon: the
• 10:04
  Kearns: Man,
• 10:06
  Jon: don't, don't get me started on new metal.
• 10:09
  We would, if we go on new metal, this is gonna be a three hour
• 10:12
  episode and it's just gonna be me ranting about what they did to music.
• 10:17
  Kearns: I just like Lincoln Park, Lincoln Park's my jam,
• 10:21
  Jon: It's all about the he said, she said,
• 10:24
  Kearns: Bullshit.
• 10:24
  But yeah, you can rag on Limp Bizkit and Fred Durst as much as
• 10:27
  just to your heart's content buddy.
• 10:29
  Jon: yep.
• 10:30
  Kearns: He had his place in history alongside Kid Rock, who should have
• 10:33
  stayed in his place in history.
• 10:35
  Jon: Yeah.
• 10:35
  Ryan: He just wanted to be a cowboy baby.
• 10:38
  Kearns: Yeah, exactly.
• 10:40
  But anyway, critters three everybody.
• 10:41
  Well, how about that soundtrack, huh?
• 10:45
  Ryan: The humming.
• 10:46
  Kearns: Alright, so wait, how do they write the Critters back into
• 10:49
  this, into existence and this one, because Last and Critters two, they
• 10:53
  pretty definitively closed the door.
• 10:55
  Jon: Mm-hmm.
• 10:56
  Clifford the father, Annie and Johnny, the children are returning from vacation.
• 11:01
  They blow out a tire, pull in a rest stop to fix it.
• 11:04
  The kids get out and play.
• 11:06
  They meet Josh and they're throwing a Frisbee around, and the Frisbee gets
• 11:09
  thrown down a hill and at the bottom of the hill, they run into Charlie, but
• 11:13
  they're also some crit egg residue around.
• 11:18
  And you get, critter cam.
• 11:22
  You know, they,
• 11:25
  uh, so the, like, it sort of implied that, there were some stray eggs
• 11:30
  left over from the second one.
• 11:32
  Ryan: I feel like there were.
• 11:34
  I feel like there was one because like the huffing and the puffing
• 11:37
  Jon: Mm-hmm.
• 11:37
  Ryan: CRI camp, like it sounds like it's older and
• 11:41
  Jon: Mm-hmm.
• 11:42
  Ryan: it could be the mama basically laying the eggs in it
• 11:44
  'cause it gets squashed like a bug.
• 11:46
  So it's already injured, it gets crushed by the tire.
• 11:49
  Jon: Mm-hmm.
• 11:49
  Ryan: as Charlie's given this big speech, which I love and I like,
• 11:53
  I like how they do the flashbacks.
• 11:55
  But they do make a mistake though, he says 1984, which they clear up
• 12:01
  later in the film to 86 and 88 by
• 12:05
  Jon: Mm-hmm.
• 12:06
  Ryan: we'll be introduced to later on.
• 12:08
  I
• 12:08
  Jon: Yep.
• 12:09
  Ryan: so this is like interesting.
• 12:10
  Unless they're being creative
• 12:12
  Jon: Gates mixed up from time travel.
• 12:15
  Ryan: yeah.
• 12:15
  Jon: fact that Charlie was not the most with it guy to begin with,
• 12:20
  Kearns: yeah,
• 12:20
  Ryan: Yep.
• 12:21
  Jon: I mean, and.
• 12:21
  Kearns: closer probably.
• 12:23
  Jon: We should probably mention that Charlie's also just hanging
• 12:26
  out in the woods down a hill from a rest stop approaching small
• 12:31
  children who wander down there.
• 12:33
  Kearns: we know what types of people do that.
• 12:35
  Am I
• 12:35
  Jon: Mm-hmm.
• 12:36
  Yeah.
• 12:37
  Kearns: Yep.
• 12:39
  Jon: I'm gonna,
• 12:40
  Ryan: Yeah,
• 12:42
  Kearns: I was just trying to think of anything that was random that I could say.
• 12:44
  We're probably gonna have to cut that out now.
• 12:45
  Sorry, Protestants.
• 12:47
  Jon: if we're gonna cut it out, I, then I can say what I was gonna say, presidents
• 12:52
  Kearns: No.
• 12:52
  You know what?
• 12:53
  We should keep that one.
• 12:54
  Ryan: Can we just keep it all?
• 12:55
  Let's just keep it all.
• 12:56
  Kearns: All right, fine.
• 12:57
  Fair enough.
• 12:57
  We're keeping it.
• 12:58
  We're taking a chance.
• 13:01
  Jon: canceled before we're a thing.
• 13:03
  Kearns: Yep.
• 13:05
  When you get reverse canceled.
• 13:07
  Ryan: we
• 13:08
  Kearns: would be cool.
• 13:09
  That'd be cool.
• 13:09
  Ryan: reverting back to the nineties.
• 13:11
  I mean, everything that we're seeing here and stuff.
• 13:13
  And same thing with Critters three, I mean.
• 13:17
  It's a nice little like, segue though because it explains how
• 13:20
  the aches are getting transferred to the big city, which I,
• 13:25
  Kearns: Trafficked, if you will.
• 13:27
  Ryan: these poor c
• 13:28
  Kearns: I mean, let's just keep on theme.
• 13:33
  This is a,
• 13:34
  Ryan: but I
• 13:34
  Kearns: so, yeah.
• 13:35
  Ryan: city.
• 13:36
  Um, I like it's an a tenement building 'cause you get like, it's very, I
• 13:40
  feel like at that time, like 91, it's very like homage to the first one.
• 13:45
  Kearns: Hmm.
• 13:46
  Ryan: get like the next karate kid, right.
• 13:48
  In this era, which is an homage.
• 13:50
  The first karate kid you get like a lot of homage films during this time.
• 13:54
  'cause it was trying to like, I guess make it nineties, but they were
• 13:58
  still continuing the eighties edge.
• 14:01
  Kearns: Eighties edge, that would've been a cool arcade.
• 14:05
  Ryan: yeah.
• 14:05
  Xmen.
• 14:06
  Kearns: But yeah, they market this movie as being like critters
• 14:09
  in this big city kind of thing.
• 14:10
  Jon: Mm-hmm.
• 14:11
  Kearns: I feel that way based on looking at the promo posters and stuff.
• 14:14
  And it's not really, it's critters in an apartment, which is fine.
• 14:17
  Jon: Yeah.
• 14:18
  Kearns: in an apartment's kind of fun.
• 14:20
  Jon: I would be super into critters.
• 14:22
  Running wild in a whole city, though.
• 14:24
  Kearns: Yeah, it'd be sweet.
• 14:25
  Like
• 14:25
  Jon: E even, I mean e even like the scale of the town in Gremlins.
• 14:32
  Kearns: True.
• 14:32
  Yeah.
• 14:33
  But like can you imagine them like catching people, jumping
• 14:35
  the turnstiles back then and stuff and just devouring them.
• 14:39
  That'd be so fun.
• 14:39
  Ryan: they had a chance in gremlins too.
• 14:41
  They just kept it to a skyscraper.
• 14:44
  Kearns: train.
• 14:45
  Subway train.
• 14:46
  Just wiping 'em out.
• 14:47
  Yeah.
• 14:47
  The gremlins too, with the big business skyscrapers.
• 14:50
  It was a missed opportunity.
• 14:51
  Jon: Yep.
• 14:52
  Kearns: I,
• 14:53
  Jon: Yeah,
• 14:53
  Kearns: got the budget though, to be blocking up city blocks
• 14:56
  and stuff for this kind of movie?
• 14:57
  You can't really do it.
• 14:59
  Ryan: Spielberg.
• 15:00
  Jon: gremlins too.
• 15:01
  Probably had the budget, uh, close to the budget to pull it off.
• 15:04
  Kearns: It had a big budget.
• 15:05
  That's true.
• 15:06
  But
• 15:06
  Jon: May, maybe not New York City, but you know, a, a city that you
• 15:10
  could pass off as New York City.
• 15:13
  Kearns: does sleep.
• 15:14
  Jon: Yeah, like you could have, you could have probably filmed
• 15:17
  it in Atlanta with no problem.
• 15:18
  Ryan: Montreal.
• 15:20
  Jon: Montreal.
• 15:21
  Yeah.
• 15:22
  Kearns: Yeah.
• 15:23
  Canadian Purdue productions.
• 15:26
  Jon: Canadian, New York.
• 15:28
  Kearns: Hey, I got a question for you, John.
• 15:30
  Jon: Yeah,
• 15:31
  Kearns: for us this week, John?
• 15:32
  Jon: of course.
• 15:33
  I have a game for you guys this week.
• 15:35
  Kearns: No way.
• 15:36
  Jon: Of course there is.
• 15:38
  it is a stature slash and I think this one's gonna give you guys some problems,
• 15:42
  Kearns: I mean, last one gave me, gave me nightmares.
• 15:45
  So
• 15:45
  Ryan: I said this is
• 15:46
  Kearns: like
• 15:47
  Ryan: I've been
• 15:47
  Kearns: post-traumatic stress?
• 15:49
  Ryan: I feel
• 15:50
  Jon: I think.
• 15:50
  Ryan: warrior against you.
• 15:52
  Jon: I think to some extent, this one's harder than last week.
• 15:59
  Kearns: No way.
• 16:00
  All right.
• 16:00
  Jon: I do.
• 16:01
  Kearns: off with Ryan's kryptonite.
• 16:03
  Yeah,
• 16:04
  Ryan: oh, no, I'm slashing this.
• 16:06
  Uh, sorry.
• 16:06
  Kearns: is.
• 16:07
  The second one.
• 16:07
  He hates it.
• 16:08
  He hates it.
• 16:09
  Everybody.
• 16:09
  Ryan: this is the third
• 16:10
  Jon: This is the third one.
• 16:11
  Ryan: This is the
• 16:12
  Kearns: Oh.
• 16:12
  The Texas Chainsaw Massacre three.
• 16:13
  My bad.
• 16:14
  Ryan: uh, FIGO.
• 16:15
  Morson,
• 16:17
  Jon: Yeah.
• 16:17
  Kearns: Aragorn.
• 16:18
  Ryan: you're doing
• 16:19
  Kearns: Mm-hmm.
• 16:20
  Ryan: You're
• 16:21
  Jon: I'm not,
• 16:22
  Ryan: No.
• 16:22
  Jon: not doing film debuts.
• 16:24
  Ryan: okay.
• 16:24
  Okay.
• 16:26
  Kearns: Hmm,
• 16:26
  Ryan: was on my top five list and I went a whole different direction, but
• 16:30
  Jon: I, I'm not, I'm not gonna tell you guys what it is.
• 16:34
  You guys can figure it out because it will affect your decisions even
• 16:37
  though there's no correct decisions.
• 16:39
  Ryan: real quick.
• 16:39
  Jon: This is, go ahead.
• 16:42
  Ryan: I was gonna say, do you like this one?
• 16:43
  I mean, it's
• 16:44
  Jon: It's all right.
• 16:45
  Ryan: but like.
• 16:46
  Jon: It's all right.
• 16:46
  I mean, I think all of them really, after the first one, are
• 16:50
  all right to varying degrees.
• 16:53
  Kearns: Yeah.
• 16:54
  Jon: Like, I don't think they have a, they never got close to the, feel
• 16:58
  of the first one, but like I, they, they're all watchable in their own way.
• 17:03
  They are all third parts.
• 17:04
  Ryan: Okay.
• 17:05
  Kearns: say, so Jaws 3D is, I'm stashing it.
• 17:09
  Ryan: Hold on.
• 17:10
  Three, three to five, right?
• 17:12
  Kearns: Oh, all right.
• 17:13
  And so leather face is gonna get slashed.
• 17:16
  Jon: So two
• 17:17
  Kearns: get
• 17:17
  Jon: slashes.
• 17:18
  Kearns: I put that together.
• 17:19
  I've been like borderline vegetative the last few weeks.
• 17:23
  Ryan: welcome
• 17:23
  Jon: Number number two,
• 17:27
  Kearns: Ooh.
• 17:28
  Ryan: Oh,
• 17:29
  Kearns: they all three?
• 17:29
  D
• 17:30
  Jon: they're not all 3D.
• 17:32
  Kearns: Look at the knife flying out of the screen at
• 17:34
  Jon: Mm-hmm.
• 17:35
  Kearns: one.
• 17:35
  Ryan: of the
• 17:36
  Jon: Yes.
• 17:37
  This
• 17:37
  Ryan: has
• 17:37
  Jon: is,
• 17:38
  Ryan: mask.
• 17:38
  Jon: this is the significant Friday, the 13th.
• 17:41
  Ryan: It
• 17:41
  Kearns: This is a stash worthy one.
• 17:43
  Uh, a new dimension in Terah.
• 17:45
  Ryan: know what?
• 17:46
  I'm gonna stash it, John.
• 17:47
  I really like this one.
• 17:49
  do like this one.
• 17:51
  Jon: Remember, it's three and five.
• 17:53
  Kearns: Is that a shower curtain?
• 17:54
  Yeah, he's in the shower, stabbing through the
• 17:56
  Jon: Yeah.
• 17:57
  Ryan: This one
• 17:58
  Kearns: Um,
• 17:59
  Ryan: He throws the spear into the girl's eye.
• 18:02
  Jon: Sphere or spear.
• 18:04
  Ryan: uh, spear.
• 18:05
  Jon: Okay.
• 18:06
  Kearns: another good movie.
• 18:06
  We should do sphere one day.
• 18:07
  Um, we should do all Creighton movies one month just for funsies.
• 18:11
  These,
• 18:11
  Ryan: That'd be cool.
• 18:13
  Kearns: Uh, I read them all when I was a kid.
• 18:15
  All my teachers thought I was touched.
• 18:17
  that for the, for listeners, that because I was always in trouble
• 18:21
  and I never did well in school.
• 18:22
  And then they were like, why does he have a, why does he
• 18:24
  have a Michael Kre novel on him?
• 18:26
  Like, 'cause I'm not stupid
• 18:27
  Ryan: that
• 18:27
  Kearns: That's my story.
• 18:28
  Ryan: that was the curve ball.
• 18:29
  Kearns: was the curve ball.
• 18:30
  Jon: Yep.
• 18:31
  Kearns: wait a second.
• 18:32
  Um, Friday the 13th, part three, I'm gonna stash it too.
• 18:35
  I had a lot of trouble figuring that out, but I think I'm gonna stash it.
• 18:38
  Ryan: You know, what's the rough thing about owning a copy of this?
• 18:40
  I, I know with the original Paramount release, it still has the 3D, so
• 18:44
  it looks like it's coming at you
• 18:46
  Kearns: Yeah, it's terrible.
• 18:48
  Ryan: but it's so good.
• 18:50
  It's
• 18:50
  Kearns: That's just like Jaws, which is probably coming up because that,
• 18:53
  ending scene with Jaws 3D the shark coming at the screen is horrible to this
• 18:57
  Jon: Yeah.
• 18:58
  Kearns: the worst.
• 18:59
  Jon: Yep.
• 19:00
  Yep.
• 19:00
  All right.
• 19:01
  Movie number three?
• 19:04
  Kearns: Oh, stash stashing it.
• 19:10
  I love this movie.
• 19:13
  Ryan: You know what I'm gonna slash
• 19:15
  Kearns: Isn't this, when Reggie like Reggie bangs the tall man
• 19:19
  Ryan: No, that's the
• 19:20
  Kearns: lady in lavender,
• 19:21
  Ryan: the fourth one?
• 19:23
  Kearns: which one does he bang her?
• 19:24
  Jon: No, I think it's three.
• 19:26
  Ryan: it
• 19:26
  Kearns: I think it is three.
• 19:27
  Yeah.
• 19:27
  I gotta stash it.
• 19:28
  I gotta
• 19:28
  Jon: It's,
• 19:28
  Kearns: for Reg
• 19:29
  Jon: and by the way, you can still send letters to Reggie.
• 19:33
  Ryan: Oh
• 19:33
  Kearns: Yay.
• 19:34
  Ryan: How's he
• 19:34
  Jon: He's,
• 19:35
  Kearns: do that soon.
• 19:36
  Jon: I mean, about the same, it looks like, but you can still send him letters.
• 19:40
  He's, there's someone still reading them to him.
• 19:43
  There's a picture online the other day, you know, show Reggie love.
• 19:49
  Kearns: How many of you sent John?
• 19:50
  Probably like 10.
• 19:51
  Jon: I've sent him every letter I can write.
• 19:54
  Kearns: Wow.
• 19:55
  Ryan: tell him
• 19:56
  Kearns: 26 of 'em.
• 19:57
  Ryan: Watch Aino Mania
• 19:58
  Jon: Except, except I've, except I've been cutting the words outta magazines.
• 20:04
  Kearns: Ha.
• 20:06
  The day comes ni Reginald.
• 20:10
  I will find you.
• 20:12
  Um,
• 20:13
  Ryan: man.
• 20:13
  Jesus.
• 20:16
  Jon: All right, so Ryan, you slashed this, huh?
• 20:18
  Ryan: I did.
• 20:19
  It is, I'm gonna say this real quick.
• 20:21
  It
• 20:21
  Kearns: He's a man of no culture.
• 20:22
  Ryan: It is a good film though.
• 20:23
  But I have to slash you
• 20:24
  Kearns: A man of no culture.
• 20:26
  Ryan: There's other stuff on here.
• 20:28
  Kearns: Oh, he's an
• 20:29
  Ryan: yeah, he's laughing.
• 20:30
  He's laughing.
• 20:30
  So
• 20:31
  Kearns: Ryan's
• 20:32
  Jon: let's see.
• 20:32
  Kearns: human
• 20:33
  Jon: see what's next.
• 20:35
  Kearns: Uh, I'll, I'll slash this one.
• 20:37
  Ryan: I'll slash this one too,
• 20:38
  Kearns: You've heard my opinion about this.
• 20:40
  I just, I can never shake the memory of watching this whole movie as a kid and
• 20:44
  then being like, where the hell was Mike Myers and what the hell was that garbage?
• 20:48
  Ryan: how many more days to Halloween
• 20:49
  Kearns: And I have to return this by tomorrow at 10.
• 20:54
  Jon: Yep.
• 20:54
  Kearns: Stupid.
• 20:55
  It was like a botch sleepover
• 20:59
  Ryan: you
• 20:59
  Kearns: of this movie.
• 21:00
  Ryan: it up.
• 21:00
  It, but that was the thing, they hyped it up even when they did
• 21:03
  Kearns: Like,
• 21:03
  Ryan: Fest,
• 21:04
  Kearns: two Michael Myers in the third one.
• 21:08
  Ryan: like in the commercial and then like a silhouette.
• 21:13
  Jon: Mm-hmm.
• 21:13
  Kearns: they lied to you, but all right.
• 21:15
  Now it's a good movie.
• 21:16
  We, I appreciated your guys' take on it.
• 21:18
  Helping to dig me out of my loathing for this movie
• 21:21
  Jon: Mm-hmm.
• 21:22
  Ryan: uh.
• 21:22
  Kearns: status, but I'll slash it.
• 21:24
  Ryan: No, I
• 21:24
  Jon: All right.
• 21:25
  Ryan: I'm slashing it too, because there's just no Michael Myers.
• 21:28
  It's a good film though.
• 21:29
  When you get older, you have more of appreciation for it.
• 21:32
  But no, Michael Myers, it's slashed.
• 21:35
  Kearns: It's
• 21:35
  Jon: All right.
• 21:36
  Kearns: a chainsaw massacre without leather face
• 21:39
  Jon: Yeah.
• 21:40
  Kearns: make sense.
• 21:41
  Ryan: that technically.
• 21:42
  Kearns: it was like female leather face,
• 21:45
  Ryan: Yeah.
• 21:45
  Jon: Yeah.
• 21:46
  Kearns: face adjacent.
• 21:47
  Ryan: that prequel one
• 21:48
  Kearns: So it was still a
• 21:49
  Jon: Yeah.
• 21:50
  Kearns: just.
• 21:50
  Ryan: Yeah.
• 21:51
  Jon: Yeah, they did do something.
• 21:55
  Yeah.
• 21:56
  They shouldn't have done it.
• 21:57
  Um,
• 21:57
  Kearns: shouldn
• 21:58
  Jon: all right.
• 21:58
  Kearns: they don did.
• 22:00
  Jon: Halfway point guys.
• 22:01
  Kerns, you have two and two Ryan, you have one stash and three slashes, so
• 22:06
  Ryan: All right.
• 22:07
  Jon: you might be in good shape.
• 22:10
  Ryan: Ooh,
• 22:11
  Kearns: Okay, I wanna slash it just to bother you.
• 22:15
  Ryan: Uh, it okay.
• 22:17
  Kearns: Dream Ryan loves Dream warriors.
• 22:19
  Ryan: I, I'm, I need to buy a new shirt.
• 22:21
  Mine actually, it washed off eventually.
• 22:25
  Kearns: washed off of your shirt?
• 22:26
  Ryan: Oh, the poster?
• 22:27
  'cause
• 22:27
  Jon: Ew.
• 22:27
  Ryan: how Yeah.
• 22:29
  It just, it was a, it was a dream warrior.
• 22:32
  Kearns: I have trouble slashing this one 'cause I do remember this one very fondly.
• 22:36
  Jon: Mm-hmm.
• 22:36
  This is, I think this is my favorite one, like
• 22:39
  Kearns: this is a tough
• 22:40
  Jon: the first one.
• 22:42
  Ryan: Well, this was supposed to end it.
• 22:43
  West Craven came back.
• 22:44
  They were trying to, uh, bring it back from the second one in
• 22:48
  Kearns: After this was a new nightmare or No, that was later.
• 22:51
  Ryan: uh, dream Master,
• 22:52
  Jon: Yeah,
• 22:53
  Ryan: and
• 22:54
  Kearns: I think I'm gonna slash, I'm gonna slash this one I think
• 22:57
  actually, because I don't know how many movies do we have left?
• 22:59
  Jon: you have three after this.
• 23:01
  Kearns: I gotta slash it.
• 23:02
  Yeah, I got, I only got two left.
• 23:05
  I only
• 23:05
  Jon: You only have one stash left?
• 23:07
  Ryan: Yes you
• 23:08
  Kearns: Me, I st
• 23:09
  Jon: Yeah.
• 23:09
  Kearns: dash
• 23:10
  Jon: and five.
• 23:10
  You,
• 23:11
  Ryan: You,
• 23:11
  Jon: no, two.
• 23:12
  'cause we're three and five.
• 23:14
  Kearns: Oh no.
• 23:14
  We're only doing three and five
• 23:16
  Jon: yeah.
• 23:16
  Ryan: Yes, sir.
• 23:17
  Kearns: dear God.
• 23:19
  Definitely.
• 23:20
  Definitely.
• 23:20
  Jon: Yeah.
• 23:21
  You have a lot to get through in the next three movies.
• 23:25
  Kearns: yes I do.
• 23:26
  Jon: Let's see.
• 23:26
  I think the next one is the one You guys could break my heart over.
• 23:31
  Kearns: Uh oh.
• 23:34
  I'm gonna stash this.
• 23:36
  Ryan: You know what?
• 23:37
  I
• 23:37
  Kearns: This is such a good movie, man.
• 23:39
  Ryan: you right now because I'm stashing it too,
• 23:42
  Jon: Oh,
• 23:42
  Kearns: no, I have to do this.
• 23:43
  Ryan: I can, I can live with my choices though.
• 23:47
  Kearns: I don't mind my choices either
• 23:48
  Ryan: of the Dead
• 23:49
  Jon: oh,
• 23:49
  Ryan: good.
• 23:51
  Jon: well, let, let's see.
• 23:52
  I love Day of the Dead.
• 23:53
  Day of the Dead is amazing.
• 23:54
  It, it was the one that, it took me the longest love of his, the first three.
• 24:01
  Ryan: really
• 24:02
  Jon: really get day at first, but the more I watched it,
• 24:06
  the, I mean, it's just amazing.
• 24:09
  Ryan: on sci-fi, like repeat on sci-fi, just
• 24:12
  Jon: Mm-hmm.
• 24:13
  Ryan: and over again.
• 24:13
  I, I just love it
• 24:15
  Jon: Mm-hmm.
• 24:16
  Ryan: Like, I guess it's more of the visuals when you're a kid
• 24:19
  Jon: Yeah.
• 24:19
  Yeah.
• 24:20
  Ryan: to the wall and just like the group and understanding that
• 24:23
  maybe some zombies do have a mind.
• 24:25
  Jon: Mm-hmm.
• 24:26
  Ryan: besides
• 24:27
  Kearns: need love too.
• 24:29
  Jon: Well, this sets up something that becomes kind of controversial too in
• 24:34
  his whole dead series is this sort of evolved thinking zombie, like Bub
• 24:42
  is starting to evolve some, and then it goes a step further in Land of the
• 24:48
  Dead with the mechanic zombie who's like now really focused on tasks and
• 24:53
  leading groups of zombies and stuff.
• 24:56
  And then it's, you know, it's, I would've been fascinated to see if he
• 25:01
  had lived and kept making zombie movies where he would've evolved them too.
• 25:05
  Ryan: Yeah, I could have seen that.
• 25:07
  I know there's a new addition this year, right?
• 25:11
  it's like 40 years, right?
• 25:13
  Kearns: Really?
• 25:14
  Ryan: Yep.
• 25:14
  Jon: There's no, last year would've been 40, I think, 'cause I think it was 85.
• 25:19
  Ryan: Okay.
• 25:20
  Kearns: Oh.
• 25:20
  Ryan: it was
• 25:21
  Jon: Mm-hmm.
• 25:21
  I believe.
• 25:23
  There's no 4K of this, I believe there.
• 25:26
  It's another rights issue like there was with Dawn.
• 25:29
  Kearns: definition.
• 25:30
  Jon: Yeah, yeah.
• 25:32
  This is,
• 25:33
  Kearns: Ooh.
• 25:33
  Jon: yeah.
• 25:34
  No, I, I'm dying for a, a beautiful 4K set of this.
• 25:38
  Ryan: This
• 25:38
  Jon: Anyway, so here's the, the two movies you guys slashed.
• 25:45
  Kearns: Oh, done.
• 25:48
  done.
• 25:50
  I'm going to bed.
• 25:51
  Ryan: everybody.
• 25:53
  Good night everybody.
• 25:54
  Kearns: Goodbye.
• 25:55
  Goodbye.
• 25:55
  Ryan: like, uh, there, can
• 25:58
  Kearns: You are evil for this.
• 25:59
  Ryan: we have redemption?
• 26:00
  Can
• 26:01
  Jon: I, I told you, I told you this is strangely harder than horror movies.
• 26:06
  Nominated for best picture,
• 26:08
  Kearns: How did I,
• 26:09
  Ryan: What's
• 26:09
  Kearns: how did I ever, ever, ever, not assume you would've
• 26:14
  put army of darkness on?
• 26:15
  That's on me.
• 26:16
  Jon: I mean.
• 26:17
  Ryan: this is just technically a sequel because Evil Dead two is a soft reboot.
• 26:20
  Sir, this doesn't care.
• 26:23
  Jon: All right.
• 26:23
  Ryan: doesn't,
• 26:24
  Jon: does, it does count.
• 26:25
  You can argue it all you want.
• 26:27
  It does count.
• 26:28
  Here's what I will do, because I'm feeling nice tonight.
• 26:32
  If in one guest, either of you two can guess the last movie, I
• 26:39
  will let you stash an extra movie.
• 26:42
  Kearns: It's, he definitely didn't do Jaws three DI know that much.
• 26:46
  Uh,
• 26:48
  Ryan: he might've
• 26:48
  Kearns: doubt it.
• 26:49
  I doubt it.
• 26:51
  I doubt it.
• 26:52
  Ryan: I'm gonna say Hillary's a three.
• 26:54
  Hell on Earth.
• 26:56
  Jon: Okay?
• 26:56
  Kearns: He wouldn't, he wouldn't be so he wouldn't assume.
• 26:59
  We would be so upset by that though.
• 27:01
  Ryan: true.
• 27:02
  Oh true.
• 27:02
  Jon: Yeah.
• 27:03
  I,
• 27:03
  Kearns: that's
• 27:03
  Jon: I would, I would, I would know Ryan would be pretty upset
• 27:06
  about having to get rid of that.
• 27:08
  Ryan: I do like Hellraiser three, but I mean are compared to Army of Darkness.
• 27:11
  Okay, hold on.
• 27:12
  We're really gonna think about it.
• 27:14
  Kearns: Look at
• 27:15
  Jon: I'm a, I'm being, I'm being extra nice right now and not counting
• 27:19
  Hell raiser three as a guest.
• 27:22
  Kearns: That is nice.
• 27:22
  I'm gonna guess Jaws 3D.
• 27:24
  I am gonna guess Jaws 3D because I, my brain's not braining.
• 27:27
  Ryan: I'll stick with Hellraiser three.
• 27:29
  I'll stick with it.
• 27:31
  Jon: No extra lives.
• 27:32
  Ryan: Okay.
• 27:34
  Jon: Movie number eight.
• 27:35
  Ryan: Uh
• 27:36
  Kearns: Oh,
• 27:37
  Ryan: I Okay.
• 27:37
  I
• 27:38
  Kearns: I don't mind splashing this though.
• 27:40
  Ryan: I'm okay with it.
• 27:41
  It's, you know what, a lot of people give it crap, but like if you just look
• 27:45
  at it as its own film it, it works.
• 27:50
  Jon: I actually really like it.
• 27:51
  I mean, it's not the first two, but I really like it.
• 27:54
  Ryan: it
• 27:55
  Kearns: it in theaters with my cousin.
• 27:56
  I remember enjoying the lead scene
• 27:58
  Jon: Mm-hmm.
• 27:59
  Ryan: alien
• 28:00
  Kearns: like that.
• 28:00
  Ryan: That's what gets me.
• 28:01
  I love the alien dog.
• 28:04
  Kearns: Yeah.
• 28:05
  Dogo, ano.
• 28:07
  All right, you bastard.
• 28:08
  You managed to be an awful human being again.
• 28:10
  That was great.
• 28:11
  Jon: It's becoming my favorite thing in the world.
• 28:14
  Kearns: It's, I mean, you wear it well, buddy, you wear it Well, um,
• 28:18
  Jon: I, I have to,
• 28:19
  Kearns: three.
• 28:20
  Jon: yeah.
• 28:21
  Back to Critters three.
• 28:23
  Kearns: so, they get back to the apartment building and, the one that
• 28:27
  John affectionately calls, not Schneider.
• 28:30
  Ryan: Frank,
• 28:31
  Kearns: The, yeah.
• 28:32
  Jon: Frankie.
• 28:33
  Frankie.
• 28:34
  Kearns: the super,
• 28:35
  Jon: Hey, Frankie.
• 28:35
  Kearns: the first to go down.
• 28:36
  Not one of the only to
• 28:37
  Jon: Mm-hmm.
• 28:37
  Kearns: As the guys told us earlier, there's not a lot of,
• 28:40
  Jon: I think there's only two.
• 28:42
  I think there are, there's only two.
• 28:44
  Ryan: Frank and the stepfather.
• 28:45
  Kearns: of a mischief
• 28:46
  Jon: Frank and the stepfather, Mr. Briggs.
• 28:48
  Yeah.
• 28:49
  They, it's way more mischief, it's way more implied danger.
• 28:54
  It's, you know, it's a lot of It is the beginning of what could have been sort
• 28:58
  of taming down the violence and critters to keep it going like a pg pg 13 property
• 29:05
  and loop it into more of a kids series.
• 29:08
  Ryan: I could see
• 29:09
  Kearns: Which because they were cute.
• 29:11
  Jon: Yeah.
• 29:12
  Kearns: They had the capacity to be cute.
• 29:14
  Ryan: Yes.
• 29:14
  Kearns: though they were, that they were less cute than the gremlins.
• 29:17
  Jon: Mm-hmm.
• 29:18
  Ryan: I'd
• 29:18
  Kearns: 'cause the gremlins had the MWA stage.
• 29:21
  Jon: yeah.
• 29:24
  Ryan: Just gotta follow
• 29:24
  Kearns: I,
• 29:26
  Ryan: It's not that hard.
• 29:27
  Kearns: would have gremlins crawling up your asshole in like eight hours.
• 29:30
  Jon: Absolutely.
• 29:31
  Ryan: I,
• 29:31
  Kearns: Ryan,
• 29:32
  Ryan: no,
• 29:32
  Kearns: you'd feed that thing as Snickers the middle of the
• 29:35
  night and you would be done
• 29:37
  Ryan: you're
• 29:37
  Jon: You,
• 29:38
  Kearns: on it.
• 29:38
  Jon: you,
• 29:39
  Ryan: would happen.
• 29:39
  Yes.
• 29:41
  Jon: you,
• 29:41
  Ryan: I
• 29:41
  Jon: you, you would, you would indulge in some of your favorite things and
• 29:46
  not realize it was two o'clock in the morning and you, and you and the mogwai
• 29:52
  would have the munchies and you'd just be passing the thing, chips and
• 29:56
  stuff, and then you have 10 of 'em.
• 29:59
  And at least if you have 10, clearly one of them's gonna be evil.
• 30:03
  Ryan: Uh,
• 30:04
  Kearns: wake up the next morning and there's gonna be, there's
• 30:07
  gonna be eggs all over the house.
• 30:08
  You'll be like, what happened last night?
• 30:09
  Man?
• 30:11
  You'd be like, Brad Pitt in, uh, true romance
• 30:15
  Jon: Yep.
• 30:15
  Kearns: sitting there with your little honey bear while they run
• 30:19
  around and kill your neighbors.
• 30:23
  So we both, we both rejected your, your theory very hard.
• 30:30
  Ryan: I still
• 30:30
  Jon: I know.
• 30:31
  I know what would happen if I had a maua and I'd probably do it on purpose.
• 30:36
  Kearns: Yeah.
• 30:36
  At that point, be like, I'm not making it to retirement.
• 30:39
  Let's just
• 30:39
  Jon: Yeah.
• 30:39
  You
• 30:39
  Kearns: thing off.
• 30:40
  Jon: what I need?
• 30:41
  I need a day off.
• 30:42
  Let me bring this thing to work and let it loose.
• 30:45
  Kearns: And then meanwhile, he's choking to death on the very
• 30:47
  water that's gonna kill society.
• 30:51
  Ryan: The mug guy would probably fit in.
• 30:53
  It would work
• 30:54
  Kearns: would
• 30:54
  Ryan: the
• 30:54
  Kearns: jump in front of the water.
• 30:57
  All right.
• 30:58
  We, we almost murdered Ryan for that joke.
• 31:00
  But
• 31:00
  Jon: Almost.
• 31:01
  Kearns: have been worth it.
• 31:02
  Jon: Yeah.
• 31:02
  Kearns: Might have been worth it.
• 31:03
  Jon: It.
• 31:04
  It was, it was?
• 31:05
  Kearns: All right guys.
• 31:06
  What?
• 31:07
  Ryan: before Frankie gets it, Frankie's working.
• 31:10
  As we find out, he's working with Briggs and he is trying to
• 31:13
  Jon: Mm-hmm.
• 31:14
  Ryan: out of the
• 31:16
  Jon: Yeah.
• 31:17
  Ryan: so Briggs can turn it, as we mentioned, into a shopping mall.
• 31:21
  Jon: Yeah,
• 31:22
  Kearns: Oh, and then that was the time of the shopping mall.
• 31:24
  Ryan: Mm-hmm.
• 31:25
  Jon: it was the time of the mall.
• 31:26
  Ryan: Yep.
• 31:28
  Jon: it's amazing though, how quickly the mall went away from that point.
• 31:31
  Ryan: Yeah, it's, it's.
• 31:32
  Jon: Within,
• 31:33
  Kearns: had a
• 31:33
  Jon: within, now, within 10, 15 years, the mall is pretty dead.
• 31:38
  Kearns: I mean, we still have the one I see kids at our mall But yeah,
• 31:41
  there's kids at the mall and it's
• 31:42
  Jon: yeah,
• 31:43
  Kearns: see.
• 31:44
  Jon: yeah.
• 31:44
  You still get, but I mean, there's also less and less at a mall for a kid.
• 31:49
  Ryan: Yeah,
• 31:50
  Kearns: I
• 31:50
  Jon: For, or really for an adult male.
• 31:53
  I don't, I don't know.
• 31:53
  The last time you went and walked around the mall,
• 31:56
  Kearns: I, I
• 31:56
  Jon: there's not much there for us anymore.
• 31:59
  Ryan: Nope,
• 31:59
  Kearns: a comic book store I really like at ours, so I go to that.
• 32:02
  Um, but like I don't go into a hot topic or anything like that anymore.
• 32:05
  You know, where you, all the stores you would hit.
• 32:07
  Now it's like, maybe do I go into Sharper Image?
• 32:09
  'cause I'm an old man.
• 32:10
  Jon: Ours doesn't even have that anymore.
• 32:12
  There's no hot topic.
• 32:13
  There's no Spencer there.
• 32:15
  Kearns: is completely dead.
• 32:17
  Yeah.
• 32:17
  Jon: Yeah.
• 32:18
  Kearns: standing.
• 32:19
  Jon: Yeah.
• 32:19
  My,
• 32:20
  Kearns: truck
• 32:21
  Jon: my,
• 32:22
  Kearns: going
• 32:22
  Jon: my, my mall would, my mall would make more money as
• 32:25
  a parking lot than as a mall.
• 32:27
  Kearns: at this point.
• 32:27
  Yeah, we go there for like, the circus that they use.
• 32:30
  It's the parking lot for
• 32:31
  Jon: Mm-hmm.
• 32:32
  Kearns: stuff, but yeah, that's a, okay, so I get that's that one.
• 32:35
  The, one of the one I mentioned earlier that has definitely been bleeped out by
• 32:39
  this point to your listeners is, um, is
• 32:42
  Jon: A Mall of America.
• 32:44
  Kearns: They've got like fif, they've got like three or four stores that
• 32:47
  are dedicated to stuff that kids like, like the, uh, Funko pop stuff and
• 32:52
  Ryan: Okay.
• 32:53
  Kearns: you know, Pokemon cards.
• 32:54
  And then there's a few hats, exclusives.
• 32:56
  You got your Forever 20 ones and there's the candle stuff.
• 33:00
  Like it's still a mall.
• 33:01
  still a mall.
• 33:02
  Ryan: Lids, got, is
• 33:04
  Kearns: Yeah.
• 33:04
  There's lids.
• 33:05
  There's a lids and there's a food court that's full of like full
• 33:10
  of establishment serving food.
• 33:13
  Yeah.
• 33:13
  Jon: Or ours has two, I think there's two restaurants in the food court.
• 33:19
  Yeah, there's a Chinese place
• 33:20
  Kearns: As long as there's
• 33:21
  Jon: and uh,
• 33:22
  Kearns: that parking lot, I had to revise which animal I named because there's
• 33:27
  Jon: yeah.
• 33:28
  Kearns: the parking lot.
• 33:29
  You're gonna get hun on chicken.
• 33:31
  Ryan: But
• 33:37
  Kearns: Well, it's, it's a joke we're allowed to make because the Chinese place
• 33:40
  in, uh, I almost had another town name
• 33:43
  Jon: The Chinese place in the town next to where we grew up,
• 33:47
  Kearns: Yeah.
• 33:47
  It, they got dinged for taking the geese outta the park.
• 33:51
  Ryan: no, for duck,
• 33:52
  Kearns: Oh, yeah.
• 33:54
  Ryan: were
• 33:54
  Kearns: They got dinged for, for swiping the geese, which was, and I,
• 33:59
  I didn't, I thought it was kind of a victimless crime because I used to have
• 34:02
  to practice football on that field.
• 34:03
  I hated those damn geese.
• 34:05
  Ryan: did, how'd you feel after eating 'em?
• 34:08
  Kearns: I never ate at that Chinese place.
• 34:09
  So I feel pretty good about the whole situation.
• 34:12
  Jon: that I ate that place a lot, but I also, I also never ate ducks, so I mean,
• 34:18
  they could have been like putting it in his chicken, but I didn't eat a lot of
• 34:21
  chicken at that point in time either.
• 34:24
  Kearns: Uh, the beef could be people we don't even know.
• 34:26
  Like you ever look at the beef and a beef from broccoli.
• 34:29
  Ryan: you start with
• 34:29
  Jon: I, I am better.
• 34:31
  I am better with the beef being people than I am with the duck
• 34:35
  or the chicken being Canadian.
• 34:37
  Goose.
• 34:40
  Kearns: Fair enough.
• 34:41
  Do you think the critters would eat it?
• 34:43
  Ryan: Oh,
• 34:43
  Jon: The critters would eat all of it.
• 34:45
  Ryan: Yeah.
• 34:45
  Kearns: they would.
• 34:47
  Yes, they would.
• 34:48
  Did in this film, did they enjoy prepared or processed
• 34:51
  food as much as they enjoyed it?
• 34:52
  In the second one, guys,
• 34:54
  Ryan: No, not as much.
• 34:55
  Jon: they seem to enjoy anything in a kitchen
• 34:58
  Kearns: I do.
• 35:00
  Yeah.
• 35:01
  Jon: and any, anything in a kitchen seemed to be a food product for them.
• 35:06
  Whether it was dish detergent or anything else
• 35:09
  Kearns: My wife came in and asked me if I wanted mozzarella steaks.
• 35:13
  Ryan: Oh, just, you know what, that was
• 35:15
  Jon: you.
• 35:16
  Kearns: Yeah.
• 35:17
  I feel like I'm gonna puke already
• 35:19
  Ryan: was like a part of our clip last week.
• 35:21
  it?
• 35:22
  Kearns: she, that she came in
• 35:23
  Ryan: no, no,
• 35:23
  Kearns: to offer me food.
• 35:24
  Ryan: the mozzarella stick?
• 35:25
  Fully cheesed because
• 35:27
  Kearns: yeah, that's right.
• 35:28
  Ryan: this, this one wasn't fully cheese, this movie.
• 35:31
  It's
• 35:31
  Kearns: Yeah.
• 35:32
  Ryan: was good, but the inners wasn't
• 35:34
  Jon: I,
• 35:35
  Kearns: wrong with the movie?
• 35:36
  Jon: I would say this one is fully cheesed.
• 35:39
  Ryan: Oh,
• 35:39
  Kearns: Oh, there's cheesiness all over.
• 35:41
  Ryan: that position.
• 35:42
  In that position, yes.
• 35:43
  Kearns: What?
• 35:43
  This wasn't Leo's first Oscar worthy performance.
• 35:47
  Jon: I think it was, but he was too young to get one.
• 35:50
  Kearns: Too young.
• 35:51
  Not quite.
• 35:51
  Gilbert.
• 35:52
  Gilbert Grape level.
• 35:53
  Jon: Yeah, not quite.
• 35:54
  Ryan: was doing growing pains at this time too.
• 35:58
  Jon: This is apparently one of the movies he's ashamed of.
• 36:00
  But he al he also says that when you're that age, you want
• 36:04
  attention no matter how you get it.
• 36:06
  So,
• 36:06
  Ryan: did pretty well.
• 36:07
  His character was pretty well written
• 36:10
  Jon: I mean, listen,
• 36:11
  Ryan: it's a cheesy horror film.
• 36:12
  I mean, come
• 36:13
  Jon: with, with some of the places that other actors have started
• 36:17
  you, you did all right as a kid to be in a critters movie first.
• 36:21
  Ryan: Yep.
• 36:21
  Kearns: Fair.
• 36:22
  Ryan: Jennifer Aniston started a series leprechaun.
• 36:25
  I mean,
• 36:26
  Jon: Mm-hmm.
• 36:27
  I mean
• 36:27
  Kearns: care.
• 36:28
  She
• 36:28
  Jon: there
• 36:29
  Kearns: one bit about that.
• 36:30
  Jon: No, well, I, you know what?
• 36:31
  I bet she does because it's got her old nose.
• 36:34
  Ryan: I
• 36:34
  Kearns: true.
• 36:35
  That's fair.
• 36:37
  But they turn that into a running joke on friends.
• 36:40
  Jon: Yeah,
• 36:40
  Kearns: Like, you should be cool with that too, if you're
• 36:43
  Jon: yeah.
• 36:43
  Kearns: and you, you know, get over it.
• 36:46
  You're
• 36:46
  Jon: I mean,
• 36:47
  Kearns: with your new nose.
• 36:48
  Ryan: Yeah.
• 36:48
  Jon: if you, blatantly had your nose done, you kinda have to be
• 36:51
  okay with it being pointed out.
• 36:54
  Kearns: Ah, I get it pointed out
• 36:56
  Jon: Pointed out.
• 36:57
  Ah,
• 36:58
  Kearns: The puns.
• 36:59
  The
• 36:59
  Jon: the puns.
• 37:01
  Kearns: So Rapunzel over here.
• 37:04
  So, uh, yeah, so, um, let's see.
• 37:08
  Josh Leo's character, he, he makes some mischief in this film a little bit.
• 37:13
  Um, he gets the landlord killed, doesn't he?
• 37:16
  Ryan: Yeah, he,
• 37:16
  Jon: Yeah.
• 37:16
  Yeah.
• 37:17
  He kind of gives his stepdad up.
• 37:19
  Kearns: Yep.
• 37:20
  Ryan: he locks him in the room.
• 37:21
  He is like, I hate you.
• 37:22
  I wish you'd die.
• 37:22
  And then you hear the crits start,
• 37:24
  Kearns: Yeah.
• 37:25
  Ryan: 'em up.
• 37:25
  And he realizes he made a mistake.
• 37:28
  Kearns: How cool would've been through the rest of the movie if he thought he
• 37:30
  had the power to like summon demons?
• 37:34
  Ryan: I think, he like, has a moment because he realizes he was an accessory.
• 37:39
  'cause like, Annie's like, are you okay?
• 37:41
  And he's like, just gimme a second.
• 37:42
  Just gimme one second.
• 37:44
  Kearns: Just gimme a minute, man.
• 37:45
  Ryan: are you just realizing you helped commit a crime here?
• 37:48
  Commit a
• 37:49
  Kearns: Well, is it a crime if nobody can literally, nobody can
• 37:54
  ever find out that you did it.
• 37:55
  Is it really a crime?
• 37:57
  By the way, the listeners, yes it is.
• 37:59
  Ryan: I mean,
• 38:00
  Kearns: It's just one you'll get away with
• 38:01
  Ryan: the building starts, you know, getting lit up though
• 38:06
  Jon: Now.
• 38:06
  Now, well, you get a fire in the basement.
• 38:11
  Kearns: Yes.
• 38:12
  Jon: At the Crites, wrecking the rest of the building.
• 38:14
  And then you get Charlie.
• 38:16
  Charlie who does not live in this apartment, manages to get there because he
• 38:20
  has given Johnny his little green stone.
• 38:24
  Ryan: like
• 38:25
  Kearns: His Spidey tracker.
• 38:26
  Ryan: I was gonna say, is there, was it a tracker?
• 38:28
  Because you only know it senses danger.
• 38:31
  I feel like, you
• 38:34
  Jon: His, is it
• 38:34
  Ryan: big,
• 38:35
  Jon: his?
• 38:35
  Ryan: a
• 38:35
  Jon: His special Special Charlie Bounty hunter Stone thingy.
• 38:43
  Kearns: Exactly.
• 38:46
  That's that's the actual name for it?
• 38:48
  Ryan: Stony.
• 38:48
  Jon: Stone thingy.
• 38:50
  Kearns: for the set design stuff.
• 38:51
  And so
• 38:52
  Jon: Yeah.
• 38:52
  Kearns: it was in.
• 38:53
  Jon: Yeah.
• 38:55
  Ryan: It was, yeah,
• 38:58
  Kearns: Thank you.
• 39:00
  Oh, I'm gonna eat it on the podcast.
• 39:02
  Ryan: it.
• 39:02
  Do you have marinara sauce?
• 39:04
  You,
• 39:04
  Kearns: I do.
• 39:05
  Ryan: oh, don't be a heath.
• 39:06
  Then dip it.
• 39:07
  You can double dip.
• 39:08
  You'd be okay with it.
• 39:10
  There we go.
• 39:11
  Oh, you know what, it sounds like, it sounds like a friendlies, mozza.
• 39:14
  Realistic.
• 39:15
  That's what, that's what it sounded like.
• 39:20
  He's just
• 39:22
  Jon: Uh, that, that's a nice crispy mozzarella stick there.
• 39:25
  Kearns: She fries 'em because ain't nobody getting to 70 in this family.
• 39:29
  Ryan: sharing, sharing, sharing is caring.
• 39:32
  Kearns: Mm-hmm.
• 39:32
  Ryan: pass it over
• 39:33
  Kearns: I did that just to be a jerk because I knew
• 39:35
  you guys were gonna want it.
• 39:37
  Ryan: I don't see.
• 39:38
  Jon: no.
• 39:38
  Kearns: you don't want a deep fried mozzarella stick, John.
• 39:41
  Jon: I've eaten so much food today.
• 39:43
  I,
• 39:43
  Kearns: Tell us everything you ate while I eat
• 39:45
  Jon: oh man.
• 39:47
  I had my protein cookie for breakfast and I had a croissant, then I
• 39:50
  had like two thirds of a pizza
• 39:54
  Ryan: Ooh,
• 39:54
  Jon: and some chicken nuggets and some fries, and
• 39:57
  Ryan: Yes.
• 39:58
  Jon: some ice cream.
• 39:59
  Ryan: What kind of ice cream?
• 40:01
  Jon: Uh, cold stone.
• 40:03
  Ryan: Well, like
• 40:03
  Kearns: Oh yeah, of course.
• 40:04
  Cold stone.
• 40:05
  Ryan: Like did you do the
• 40:06
  Jon: Ah, no, a whole, I I can bring it up in my, my seamless order.
• 40:10
  Gimme a second here, bud.
• 40:13
  This is a very
• 40:15
  Kearns: Dude, that's, that's couch time.
• 40:16
  That's dangerous right there.
• 40:18
  That's a lot of food.
• 40:19
  Ryan: What were you watching?
• 40:22
  Kearns: Uh, he was
• 40:23
  Jon: freaked.
• 40:23
  Kearns: day after another.
• 40:24
  Jon: No, I was watching freaked.
• 40:26
  Did you ever see freaked?
• 40:27
  Ryan: No,
• 40:28
  Kearns: No,
• 40:29
  Jon: I,
• 40:29
  Kearns: I know of freak though.
• 40:30
  Jon: I somehow never saw freaked either.
• 40:32
  It is amazing
• 40:34
  Ryan: I'm looking it up Free.
• 40:37
  Jon: I, I got peanut butter cup perfection.
• 40:43
  Ryan: Mm, sounds good.
• 40:46
  Kearns: I am such a slut for peanut butter too.
• 40:48
  That sounds so good.
• 40:50
  Jon: Then I put the peanut butter sauce on it,
• 40:53
  Ryan: Ooh.
• 40:53
  Jon: and then the hot fudge on it.
• 40:56
  Ryan: Ooh.
• 40:56
  Jon: I didn't get the banana mix in this time, but I often do that too.
• 41:00
  Ryan: you know what I would add?
• 41:01
  Marshmallow.
• 41:02
  I love mushroom.
• 41:03
  Jon: Marshmallow is not bad.
• 41:04
  I like having the banana in there though.
• 41:06
  'cause it makes me, I can pretend that I'm healthy.
• 41:08
  Ryan: Nutella, banana.
• 41:10
  Kearns: A little potassium.
• 41:11
  Ryan: That
• 41:11
  Jon: Yeah.
• 41:12
  Kearns: Yeah.
• 41:12
  Jon: I'm eating a, fruit.
• 41:14
  Ryan: You know, little strawberries here and there.
• 41:17
  Blueberries.
• 41:17
  Kearns: that point though, I don't even like pretending I like to go
• 41:20
  like even worse when I'm going that bad as it is, I'm like, eh, why
• 41:24
  don't we put some sugar cubes in it?
• 41:25
  Jon: Can you deep fry that banana?
• 41:28
  Kearns: Yep.
• 41:28
  Exactly.
• 41:29
  Ryan: Put a little chocolate on it.
• 41:31
  Jon: I wonder if they could,
• 41:33
  Kearns: They could easily, you've never seen a, a banana
• 41:35
  split with a deep fried banana?
• 41:36
  Ryan: It's delicious.
• 41:37
  Jon: seen one.
• 41:38
  I've never had one.
• 41:39
  I, man, I don't know if,
• 41:40
  Kearns: gonna have to
• 41:41
  Jon: I don't know if Coldstone has the capability.
• 41:43
  Ryan: they don't
• 41:43
  Kearns: Oh, they don't.
• 41:45
  Yeah.
• 41:45
  As with most things worth having in life, you have to provide your own banana,
• 41:49
  Jon: episode 100.
• 41:51
  The Xenomania guys eaten until they pass out.
• 41:54
  Ryan: I'm
• 41:54
  Kearns: one gets arrested
• 41:56
  Ryan: Hold
• 41:56
  Kearns: for providing his own banana to Cold Stone.
• 41:58
  Ryan: we watch the stuff while we're doing that?
• 42:00
  That would fit
• 42:00
  Kearns: I
• 42:01
  Jon: All this stuff, this stuff is coming up before then.
• 42:03
  This stuff is only like three or four weeks away.
• 42:06
  Ryan: ooh, not to, not to plug, but I'm gonna plug in.
• 42:08
  Arrow has a nice release of the
• 42:12
  Jon: Mm-hmm.
• 42:14
  Ryan: Blu-Ray.
• 42:15
  Four KI, I think it's a little bit better.
• 42:17
  Sorry,
• 42:17
  Jon: Yeah.
• 42:18
  I mean, I,
• 42:19
  Ryan: I'm on a
• 42:19
  Jon: I always, yeah, I always go for the four Ks when it's available.
• 42:23
  Mm-hmm.
• 42:24
  Ryan: cleaner, especially with the older film.
• 42:26
  I like the graininess, but it's just a cleaner look.
• 42:30
  Jon: will say this, like I maniac, I got in 4K, I kept the Blu-ray 'cause I like
• 42:35
  watching it with the graininess sometimes because maniacs should look like that.
• 42:39
  Ryan: I, there are certain films that should have that graininess, like mean
• 42:42
  Streets is definitely one taxi driver.
• 42:45
  Like even
• 42:46
  Kearns: Yeah.
• 42:47
  Ryan: you don't want, you wanna see that grain and you
• 42:49
  Kearns: Deer Hunter.
• 42:50
  Ryan: Oh, dear.
• 42:50
  Yes.
• 42:52
  Got well, yes.
• 42:54
  Yeah,
• 42:55
  Kearns: I like
• 42:55
  Jon: I.
• 42:56
  Kearns: you just went on right there.
• 42:57
  Ryan: yeah.
• 42:57
  Well, I
• 42:58
  Jon: I think
• 42:58
  Ryan: it and I was like, wait a minute.
• 43:00
  And I'm like, Christopher, walking at the end and I'm thinking of the grain pops.
• 43:03
  I'm like, it means something more.
• 43:06
  It
• 43:06
  Jon: Christopher who,
• 43:08
  Ryan: Christopher walk-in.
• 43:09
  Jon: okay.
• 43:10
  Kearns: All right.
• 43:10
  Jon: You said it right that time.
• 43:12
  Ryan: what?
• 43:13
  Jon: You definitely said Christopher Walking the first time.
• 43:16
  Ryan: You know, I had this
• 43:18
  Kearns: we're gonna roll back the tape.
• 43:19
  Oh, geez.
• 43:21
  Jon: Oh great.
• 43:24
  So back to,
• 43:26
  Kearns: Gimme your wallet.
• 43:27
  No, I don't want to.
• 43:31
  Ryan: Uh,
• 43:34
  Jon: so
• 43:34
  Kearns: that back.
• 43:35
  Jon: no, back to Critters three.
• 43:36
  Before we devolve into Christopher Walkin imitations for the rest of the night,
• 43:41
  Kearns: Yep.
• 43:42
  Jon: five hours of us doing Christopher Walkin.
• 43:44
  Ryan: why are you Batman?
• 43:47
  Jon: we get to the finale, the building's on fire, they're trapped
• 43:50
  on the roof, and they, you know, they're gradually managing to escape.
• 43:55
  And Charlie has the last two crates and he's ready to kill 'em.
• 44:02
  What happens?
• 44:05
  What happens?
• 44:06
  Kearns: and he makes the mate right in front of Leo.
• 44:09
  Jon: Yes.
• 44:10
  Ryan: Oh, that's,
• 44:10
  Jon: Leo,
• 44:11
  Ryan: Sorry.
• 44:11
  Jon: Leo wa Watch these cretes make out.
• 44:14
  Kearns: Yeah.
• 44:17
  Jon: No, no.
• 44:19
  He gets some, a message from our friend, Ugg Uggs.
• 44:23
  Only appearance in this movie comes during the credits
• 44:27
  Kearns: Wow.
• 44:28
  Wow.
• 44:29
  Jon: he forbids Charlie from killing the last two crites because they
• 44:33
  are, in fact, the last two crits and bounty hunters are not permitted
• 44:38
  to exterminate a whole species.
• 44:42
  Ryan: Which
• 44:42
  Kearns: Yeah.
• 44:43
  Ryan: I liked as a cinephile, how they included it at that in the scene.
• 44:47
  it was during the credits, which is a bold move because during
• 44:50
  the credits you're just leaving.
• 44:52
  But I liked how they did the scene paused.
• 44:54
  It showed who was it?
• 44:55
  Like did what, whatever acted and then did another part of the scene.
• 45:00
  It was, it was
• 45:01
  Jon: Mm-hmm.
• 45:01
  Ryan: And for a
• 45:02
  Jon: Well, it's a,
• 45:03
  Ryan: it's, what it's supposed to be.
• 45:04
  'cause critters is different.
• 45:06
  It's got that
• 45:07
  Jon: it's, it's also, you know, sort of against what was going on at that time.
• 45:13
  Now, if you go to the movies and you don't stay through the credits, you're
• 45:17
  a fool back then, credits come on.
• 45:20
  Movies over there weren't a lot of in credit scenes at that point.
• 45:25
  Kearns: Hmm, fair point.
• 45:28
  That is a fair point.
• 45:29
  I can't think of many that popped up Around that time.
• 45:31
  We would get up and leave when the credits rolled.
• 45:33
  There was no Avenger style.
• 45:36
  You know, Solomon will be in Avengers Doomsday
• 45:41
  Jon: Yeah.
• 45:41
  Ryan: I think Masters of the universe I think had one.
• 45:45
  Kearns: You just
• 45:45
  Jon: There.
• 45:45
  Kearns: because of the Speedo and the oiled abs.
• 45:48
  Don't you lie to us.
• 45:50
  Ryan: jealous
• 45:50
  Jon: I mean, didn't we all,
• 45:52
  Ryan: All right.
• 45:53
  Kearns: Yeah.
• 45:54
  The oiled ribs.
• 45:54
  I'm sorry,
• 45:56
  Jon: didn't we all?
• 45:57
  Kearns: but he was, he was ribbed for our pleasure.
• 45:59
  Anyway, let's get on I
• 46:00
  Ryan: I have
• 46:01
  Jon: Yeah.
• 46:02
  Oh, be one thing before we wrap up that we have failed to mention in two other
• 46:07
  Cri Critters episodes is the Critter design and who, designed and Puppeted The
• 46:14
  Critters is a significant set of names.
• 46:17
  It's the Kyoto Brothers
• 46:19
  Ryan: Yep.
• 46:19
  Jon: of Killer Clowns fame in particular, but a lot, it's, you know, some other
• 46:23
  puppeteering and monster design and I like they really hit with the critters.
• 46:29
  Kearns: can we talk quickly though?
• 46:30
  Just the like, just shout out killer clowns for being one of
• 46:32
  the best practical effects set
• 46:35
  Jon: Mm-hmm.
• 46:36
  Kearns: history.
• 46:36
  Ryan: Yes.
• 46:38
  Kearns: terrifying that movie is, just because of how great
• 46:41
  of a job he did on those clowns.
• 46:43
  Jon: Yep.
• 46:44
  Ryan: It's like
• 46:44
  Kearns: Are they, did I should say?
• 46:46
  Ryan: it goes down to like the cotton candy, but like also seen
• 46:49
  says like the ventriloquist them like will knock like the biker
• 46:54
  Kearns: Yeah,
• 46:54
  Ryan: knocked off.
• 46:55
  Kearns: we're gonna do the movie down the line.
• 46:56
  I just wanna
• 46:57
  Jon: Mm-hmm.
• 46:58
  Kearns: real quick and just be like, that is a fantastic job.
• 47:00
  So yeah.
• 47:01
  Jon: Yep, yep.
• 47:02
  Ryan: movie.
• 47:02
  Underrated
• 47:03
  Kearns: else did they do, John
• 47:05
  Jon: Um, off the top of my head, I don't have it, but it's a lot
• 47:08
  of like, they all the critters.
• 47:10
  Yeah.
• 47:11
  They did a lot of, you know, a lot of weird stuff though.
• 47:13
  Yeah.
• 47:14
  Like a lot of stuff that's like, what?
• 47:16
  Yep,
• 47:16
  Kearns: No way.
• 47:18
  Ryan: Team America.
• 47:19
  World Police.
• 47:21
  Large
• 47:22
  Kearns: That's pretty cool.
• 47:22
  Ryan: for our PeeWee's.
• 47:23
  Big adventure.
• 47:25
  Kearns: right.
• 47:25
  That's enough for me.
• 47:26
  They belong in the Hall of Fame.
• 47:28
  Ryan: Okay.
• 47:30
  Uh,
• 47:30
  Jon: we should start that.
• 47:31
  Ryan: do you guys see the dinner for Schmucks?
• 47:33
  Kearns: That's not a bad idea.
• 47:35
  Jon: This.
• 47:35
  Kearns: we, we'll have to retroactively pull in a few though.
• 47:38
  We've done some Hall of Famers
• 47:39
  Jon: The Xenomania Horror Hall of Fame,
• 47:43
  Kearns: Yeah,
• 47:43
  Ryan: that,
• 47:44
  Kearns: could do that.
• 47:45
  Reggie,
• 47:45
  Ryan: oh
• 47:46
  Kearns: going in Buddy
• 47:47
  Ryan: He's, our first, if we're
• 47:49
  Jon: characters, directors,
• 47:52
  Ryan: oh, if we're doing characters and directors, let's
• 47:55
  Jon: and put whoever we want in.
• 47:56
  Ryan: Uh, Reggie's the first, then let's do it right now.
• 47:58
  Reggie Banister.
• 48:00
  Kearns: and the Kyoto Brothers.
• 48:01
  Then
• 48:02
  Jon: Yeah.
• 48:02
  Kearns: every once in
• 48:03
  Jon: our,
• 48:03
  Kearns: go
• 48:03
  Jon: well, our, our, I think our inaugural class can be the Kyoto Brothers,
• 48:08
  Ryan: Mm-hmm.
• 48:09
  Jon: Reggie and Guillermo.
• 48:12
  Ryan: And Gimo.
• 48:13
  Kearns: Yay.
• 48:14
  Thank you guys.
• 48:15
  Jon: can class it up a little bit.
• 48:17
  Kearns: My dad.
• 48:19
  My dad, Guillermo, he
• 48:21
  Jon: Guillermo.
• 48:23
  Kearns: gmo.
• 48:23
  G Ghislaine.
• 48:24
  Amo.
• 48:25
  Ryan: del Toro.
• 48:25
  I just love, I
• 48:26
  Kearns: How many Ls?
• 48:27
  Ryan: I sent you the thing about Blade too.
• 48:29
  He's like, I really didn't like Blade.
• 48:31
  I really hated him.
• 48:32
  I didn't, it was just like white people writing a black character.
• 48:35
  And then I saw the movie and I fell in love.
• 48:38
  They just did it
• 48:39
  Jon: Mm-hmm.
• 48:39
  Ryan: And that's why I wanted to do it.
• 48:40
  I was like, oh,
• 48:41
  Jon: Yep.
• 48:42
  Ryan: he's just got a great heart.
• 48:43
  Kearns: Hellboy a golden Army.
• 48:45
  Sure.
• 48:45
  Why not?
• 48:45
  I'll take it.
• 48:46
  Ryan: loved, no, he loved El.
• 48:48
  loved El
• 48:49
  Kearns: Yeah.
• 48:50
  Ryan: Boy.
• 48:50
  Two was a
• 48:51
  Jon: Well,
• 48:51
  Ryan: That was
• 48:52
  Jon: hell, Hellboy, Hellboy and Hellboy two really let him, he,
• 48:57
  Hellboy and Hellboy two really let him explore his monster designs
• 49:01
  as much as his heart contented.
• 49:03
  Kearns: yes,
• 49:04
  Jon: it.
• 49:04
  He did it in Pans, but Hellboy, he really got to do pretty much everything.
• 49:10
  Kearns: Got a lot of money for
• 49:11
  Jon: Yeah,
• 49:11
  Kearns: was really something of an independent film, wasn't it?
• 49:14
  Jon: I think so.
• 49:15
  Yeah.
• 49:15
  Kearns: was low budget at the very least, but the thing about, um, it.
• 49:19
  in, in Hellboy two reminds me of like Phil Collins and the Tarzan soundtrack.
• 49:25
  Like it's so much heavier and harder than you needed it to be, and it just, he,
• 49:32
  you're just like, wow, this is like a lot of goodness for this, but why here?
• 49:36
  Ryan: But this is when a studio trusts the director and it, and
• 49:40
  it shows like Hellboy, right?
• 49:42
  The first one, real quick, it's the comic book, from beginning to end,
• 49:47
  golden Army is Del Toro's vision.
• 49:50
  And you see it in a lot of hero stuff like Batman.
• 49:53
  That was more comic book.
• 49:54
  Batman Returns was more Tim Burden.
• 49:58
  Jon: Mm-hmm.
• 49:58
  Ryan: That's like the closest I can think of.
• 50:00
  Like when it comes to that, where the director has like, even with Blade,
• 50:03
  like the first Blade is more Comic Del Toro again, did his own unique thing.
• 50:10
  Jon: Yes, I agree.
• 50:14
  Ryan: I think he's talking to you.
• 50:16
  Kearns: I'm saying goodnight to my wife.
• 50:18
  Jon: Okay,
• 50:19
  Ryan: All right.
• 50:19
  No mozzarella
• 50:20
  Kearns: right.
• 50:21
  right.
• 50:22
  You heavy breathing women out there.
• 50:24
  I'm off the market.
• 50:26
  Ryan: They're,
• 50:26
  Kearns: No more mozzarella sticks.
• 50:28
  I only got two
• 50:28
  Ryan: right now.
• 50:29
  Okay.
• 50:30
  Kearns: because I know that she was just peeling off
• 50:31
  something she made for herself.
• 50:32
  So I don't wanna take her mozzarella sticks.
• 50:34
  So I said
• 50:35
  Ryan: You know
• 50:35
  Kearns: I two.
• 50:36
  Ryan: you're nice.
• 50:36
  I would've taken three.
• 50:38
  I always go
• 50:38
  Kearns: Nah,
• 50:39
  Ryan: how many more you got?
• 50:40
  Kearns: well I had my healthy dinner before my chicken thing, so gotta
• 50:48
  Jon: honey
• 50:48
  Ryan: too this week.
• 50:49
  Jon: hot honey.
• 50:50
  Pepperoni pizza.
• 50:51
  Kearns: Hot honey, pepperoni, I didn't even know what would
• 50:53
  happen to me if I ate that.
• 50:55
  I feel like my foot would fall off.
• 50:57
  Ryan: You'll
• 50:58
  Jon: I mean, my, foot might still fall off.
• 51:02
  Kearns: My problem is the further away I get from being like eating the things
• 51:05
  that I used to love to eat and mass and stuff, the less I can actually do.
• 51:08
  Like I ate carrot cake yesterday and I thought it was gonna die.
• 51:11
  Ryan: Oh, sounds so
• 51:12
  Jon: Carrot cake.
• 51:13
  Kearns: Yeah, it was
• 51:14
  Jon: I think if I could only eat carrot cake, I would want to die.
• 51:18
  Ryan: Oh, it's
• 51:18
  Kearns: Uh, you don't like carrot
• 51:19
  Jon: I
• 51:20
  Kearns: so
• 51:20
  Jon: I Carrot cake, carrot, carrot cake is sneaky healthy cake.
• 51:25
  I,
• 51:25
  Kearns: It's not healthy at all.
• 51:26
  It's
• 51:27
  Jon: I don't, I don't, I don't, I don't want, pretend I don't want,
• 51:31
  I don't want vegetables in my cake.
• 51:33
  Kearns: I
• 51:34
  Jon: I don't want it.
• 51:34
  Kearns: only thing
• 51:35
  Jon: They don't want it.
• 51:36
  Kearns: into you is a little bit of fiber, but it's all the vegetables
• 51:38
  they put in it are heavy sugar,
• 51:40
  Ryan: yep.
• 51:40
  Kearns: is like the point.
• 51:41
  Ryan: Yep.
• 51:42
  Kearns: It's sugary
• 51:43
  Jon: carrots.
• 51:44
  No.
• 51:44
  No.
• 51:44
  Carrot cake.
• 51:45
  Kearns: and there's some raisins in there and
• 51:47
  Jon: Nah.
• 51:48
  Nah.
• 51:48
  Kearns: Remember when
• 51:49
  Ryan: No
• 51:49
  Kearns: they used to give raisins to kids all the time?
• 51:51
  When was the last time you saw a kid with a box of raisins?
• 51:53
  Ryan: sun made.
• 51:54
  They used to
• 51:55
  Kearns: My kids ate 'em a little bit when they were little, little, but
• 51:57
  they figured that shit out real quick.
• 51:59
  They were like, nah, we're good.
• 52:00
  Ryan: It's
• 52:01
  Jon: raisins did you like better though?
• 52:02
  The golden ones or the dark ones?
• 52:05
  Ryan: the dark ones.
• 52:07
  Kearns: I never had a golden raisin in my
• 52:08
  Jon: You never had a golden raisin.
• 52:10
  Really?
• 52:11
  Kearns: Is this like, this feels like a trick.
• 52:13
  Ryan: no, they're
• 52:13
  Jon: It's not, no.
• 52:15
  I want, like I, I wouldn't get a whole container of 'em, but I always
• 52:19
  wanted the little boxes of them.
• 52:20
  Ryan: 'cause they're
• 52:21
  Kearns: Wow.
• 52:22
  Ryan: They're sweeter
• 52:22
  Jon: Probably.
• 52:23
  Ryan: Yeah.
• 52:24
  The
• 52:24
  Jon: Probably.
• 52:24
  That's probably why.
• 52:26
  Kearns: Wow.
• 52:27
  Ryan: It's like a
• 52:27
  Jon: Yeah.
• 52:28
  Ryan: a green grape to a
• 52:29
  Jon: Now, now I'm gonna have to go and get a container of golden
• 52:33
  raisins and bring it to work.
• 52:35
  Kearns: I was gonna say, I'm gonna bring it to work for you.
• 52:37
  Oh,
• 52:37
  Ryan: I'm
• 52:38
  Kearns: all chug them.
• 52:39
  Ryan: can't,
• 52:40
  Kearns: All right.
• 52:40
  So let's, let's review Critters three for
• 52:42
  Jon: Yeah.
• 52:42
  Let's get some reviews.
• 52:43
  Kearns: like eight minutes ago.
• 52:46
  Jon: Let's get to some reviews and get off of the food for a little while before
• 52:49
  I have to go eat the rest of the pizza.
• 52:51
  so Critters three reviews, we'll start with the, the Rotten Tomato score.
• 52:56
  We have a, first, we have a 0% critic score.
• 53:02
  Kearns: Wow, bro.
• 53:03
  Jon: only seven reviews.
• 53:05
  'cause I mean, listen, there wasn't
• 53:08
  Ryan: I don't
• 53:08
  Jon: a Rotten Tomatoes, there wasn't an IMDB.
• 53:11
  These things didn't exist when Critters came out.
• 53:14
  So a lot of those reviews are not on there.
• 53:17
  It's also only 24% audience.
• 53:20
  And I think that's where we're missing out.
• 53:23
  Ryan: Okay.
• 53:23
  Kearns: Okay.
• 53:24
  Jon: I think the audiences, audiences missed this, but even with a 24%, I did
• 53:30
  find a five star and it's a five star, like really straight outta my heart.
• 53:34
  Kearns: It's like
• 53:35
  Jon: Five stars.
• 53:36
  Kearns: Okay, let's hear it.
• 53:38
  Jon: I know this isn't an academy worthy film, but no critic like it.
• 53:43
  Well, to me that shows most critics have no taste.
• 53:47
  Ryan: Okay.
• 53:49
  Jon: Yeah.
• 53:49
  I mean, listen, if you can't sit and enjoy Critters three, it's, it's a you problem
• 53:54
  Ryan: Yep,
• 53:55
  Jon: as its these next two people apparently could not one star, no budget.
• 54:02
  Dre.
• 54:03
  It makes the first two movies in the series look like classics.
• 54:07
  No, sir. The first two movies in the series made the first
• 54:11
  two movies look like Classics.
• 54:13
  Ryan: yep.
• 54:14
  Kearns: Hmm.
• 54:14
  Ryan: I agree.
• 54:15
  Jon: They are classics.
• 54:16
  Ryan: Yes.
• 54:18
  Jon: And then the Half star,
• 54:24
  what did I just witness?
• 54:27
  Kearns: Ooh, the echo.
• 54:29
  I like it.
• 54:30
  Jon: The fact that they got Leonardo DiCaprio in this mutant offspring
• 54:34
  of a movie is totally incredible.
• 54:38
  This nineties crap fest of film does not deserve a generous
• 54:43
  rating of 0%, perhaps a minus 1%.
• 54:49
  Kearns: Oh, ooh.
• 54:50
  Ryan: You know what?
• 54:50
  I disagree, sir.
• 54:52
  Kearns: This person was not hugged as a child?
• 54:54
  Jon: I fully disagree.
• 54:56
  It's unfair.
• 54:59
  Kearns: No.
• 54:59
  We've not done many movies that were a half star worthy on this show.
• 55:03
  Ryan: no, no.
• 55:04
  We have Fright Night too.
• 55:07
  to the, the remake of Fright Night.
• 55:09
  The sequel
• 55:09
  Jon: I don't even, I don't even think I'd get that low with that
• 55:12
  Kearns: No.
• 55:13
  Jon: star.
• 55:14
  Kearns: Maybe 1.5.
• 55:16
  Ryan: That was rough.
• 55:17
  That I.
• 55:17
  Jon: It, takes a lot to get me to a half star
• 55:21
  Kearns: Ah, it's tough.
• 55:22
  Jon: a lot.
• 55:23
  Kearns: It's tough.
• 55:24
  Jon: That, means there was nothing fun in a movie like nothing.
• 55:28
  Kearns: Most of my reviews run between two and four anyway.
• 55:31
  'cause that's where the meat, I mean in the bell curve of life,
• 55:34
  that is usually where they are.
• 55:36
  To find a five star movie should be like a 2% of what you watch.
• 55:39
  In my opinion.
• 55:41
  That should be the amount.
• 55:42
  Yeah.
• 55:43
  No.
• 55:43
  Jon: Well, I mean, that's the thing for me, I, I sort of have two
• 55:47
  different five star qualifications.
• 55:51
  One is for movies that are just clearly cinematic, masterpieces, and the other
• 55:57
  is for how much did I enjoy this movie?
• 56:00
  Like, return to Living Dead is, return to Living Dead is a five star movie to me.
• 56:04
  Because,
• 56:05
  Kearns: beats Bo if that fits both categories though.
• 56:07
  Jon: well, yeah, kind of.
• 56:08
  But I mean, you'd get a lot of people that argued to be a classic,
• 56:12
  Ryan: Yeah.
• 56:12
  Jon: but I love the movie like, so.
• 56:15
  Kearns: movie,
• 56:17
  Ryan: you like with those people, I feel like you're comparing it
• 56:20
  to like Night of the Living Dead and then like Dawn of the Dead
• 56:23
  Kearns: not of a living.
• 56:24
  It.
• 56:24
  Ryan: You, yeah.
• 56:25
  I mean, you're gonna have those purists and I mean, return to Living Dead.
• 56:27
  Is that spiritual sequel to Night of the Living
• 56:30
  Kearns: Maybe we should start reviewing both categories though,
• 56:32
  when we're on here doing our stars.
• 56:34
  Maybe we should start doing 'em both.
• 56:35
  Like how much did you like it?
• 56:37
  Jon: Mm-hmm.
• 56:37
  Kearns: give it, you know, I don't
• 56:39
  Jon: Mm-hmm.
• 56:40
  Kearns: five stars for that.
• 56:41
  I don't know.
• 56:42
  Not tonight though.
• 56:43
  Not
• 56:43
  Jon: Yeah.
• 56:44
  Yeah.
• 56:44
  Ryan: like
• 56:45
  Jon: So
• 56:45
  Ryan: it.
• 56:45
  I'm like, wait a minute.
• 56:48
  Jon: as, we're heading down that review road, what do you guys have?
• 56:51
  Critters three As?
• 56:53
  Kearns: Just like the, number in the franchise.
• 56:56
  I'm gonna give it a three.
• 56:57
  It's a three.
• 56:58
  I mean, I kind of, I could, you could talk me into 3.5 or something.
• 57:02
  It's a solid three experience.
• 57:03
  It's like, okay.
• 57:04
  Jon: Mm-hmm.
• 57:05
  Kearns: It's all right.
• 57:05
  It's all right.
• 57:06
  Ryan: I'm gonna go along
• 57:07
  Kearns: I liked it.
• 57:08
  Ryan: three.
• 57:09
  Three Outta five.
• 57:10
  It's like, you know, I thought it was gonna suck, and it doesn't suck.
• 57:15
  It's just right in the middle.
• 57:16
  It does what it has to do.
• 57:18
  It just keeps the story going.
• 57:19
  The crits are cool.
• 57:20
  I like how they look.
• 57:21
  They're more menacing with little Gremlin esque, you know,
• 57:26
  but I, it's not a bad film.
• 57:28
  Jon: Mm-hmm.
• 57:30
  All right, I, well see.
• 57:32
  And that's where you and I differ on this.
• 57:34
  I like the crate look a little less this time, and it's why I don't get to
• 57:39
  3.25 and why I'm gonna be with Right on that three train with you guys.
• 57:44
  Kearns: Oh, okay.
• 57:45
  Okay.
• 57:45
  Jon: This is a three.
• 57:46
  Kearns: This
• 57:47
  Jon: a three.
• 57:47
  Kearns: time we've all agreed.
• 57:48
  Jon: Yeah.
• 57:49
  Ryan: or fourth, third time, and it's all
• 57:51
  Kearns: Really?
• 57:52
  Ryan: it's all been on the Critters movies.
• 57:53
  We've agreed,
• 57:55
  Kearns: wow.
• 57:55
  Ryan: all
• 57:56
  Kearns: That's great.
• 57:57
  That is great.
• 57:58
  Jon: Well, let's see if we can go four for four next week.
• 58:00
  I, I think four is gonna be more divisive for us.
• 58:06
  Kearns: maybe,
• 58:06
  Ryan: go
• 58:07
  Kearns: maybe.
• 58:07
  Ryan: CREs in the city to CRE
• 58:08
  Kearns: I'm probably gonna watch it after this recording
• 58:11
  actually, or at least start it.
• 58:12
  We'll see.
• 58:13
  I'll fall asleep to critters foil as God intended.
• 58:17
  Thank.
• 58:18
  Once you get a shout out Tuby though, you can watch the entire franchise on Tuby.
• 58:21
  It's wild.
• 58:22
  Ryan: is awesome.
• 58:23
  Tubby is like
• 58:24
  Jon: Yep.
• 58:25
  Ryan: to like be movie horror and I have a lot of appreciation for that and not as
• 58:29
  Jon: Mm-hmm.
• 58:29
  Ryan: Right.
• 58:31
  Kearns: It's not bad.
• 58:32
  Jon: It's not terrible.
• 58:33
  Kearns: Amazon is paid.
• 58:35
  And if you do, if, if you have the add one for Amazon, you see more commercials
• 58:39
  Jon: Mm-hmm.
• 58:40
  Kearns: I can guarantee it.
• 58:41
  Ryan: ridiculous.
• 58:43
  Jon: It's, it's about to,
• 58:44
  Kearns: has gotta eat.
• 58:45
  Jon: I've found the, to be experience, to be about like
• 58:47
  watching a movie on regular tv.
• 58:50
  Kearns: Yeah,
• 58:50
  Jon: It's about the same amount of commercials.
• 58:53
  It's about the same amount of time.
• 58:55
  It's not
• 58:55
  Ryan: feel like.
• 58:56
  Jon: unbearable.
• 58:57
  Ryan: feel like we're gonna revert back to that.
• 58:58
  I mean, like what everyone wants, like vinyl again, CDs.
• 59:02
  There's like a new cassette tape player coming out with
• 59:05
  like Bluetooth and all that.
• 59:08
  is coming back.
• 59:09
  People are gonna want commercials again.
• 59:11
  We're
• 59:11
  Kearns: well,
• 59:11
  Ryan: backwards
• 59:12
  Kearns: we're one EMP away from streaming being a thing of the past.
• 59:15
  So
• 59:16
  Ryan: get your VHSs ready
• 59:18
  Kearns: it out baby.
• 59:19
  Keep it out.
• 59:20
  Ryan: DVDs mostly.
• 59:21
  Jon: physical media, man, keep it going.
• 59:24
  Kearns: I'd stick with DVDs.
• 59:25
  I feel like those will, those will take, VHS has degrade too easily.
• 59:29
  Jon: And I, and the other problem with VHS is they don't make the player anymore.
• 59:34
  Kearns: Yeah, that's fair.
• 59:35
  Ryan: I thought they were still like black market, little like
• 59:38
  Jon: I mean, I mean, there's still some kicking around, I'm sure.
• 59:40
  But they do.
• 59:41
  They're not, they're not produced anymore.
• 59:44
  And it's been a while.
• 59:45
  Ryan: God, I had
• 59:46
  Jon: I think it, I think it's pre pandemic that the VCR went out officially.
• 59:54
  Kearns: I mean, it's fair.
• 59:56
  when those things used to eat a tape and just like you'd have to sit there and
• 59:59
  like become a physicist and fix that or an
• 1:00:02
  Jon: Mm-hmm.
• 1:00:03
  Kearns: that thing.
• 1:00:04
  Ryan: Once.
• 1:00:04
  Kearns: Yeah,
• 1:00:05
  Ryan: What
• 1:00:05
  Kearns: wild.
• 1:00:06
  Ryan: about the Rewinder doing that?
• 1:00:08
  And it's,
• 1:00:09
  Kearns: I
• 1:00:09
  Ryan: it's a tape you rented.
• 1:00:10
  I had that happen.
• 1:00:12
  That was,
• 1:00:12
  Jon: But that's what they're, all the rewinds did.
• 1:00:15
  That's what those things did.
• 1:00:16
  They ate the tape.
• 1:00:18
  Ryan: Good times.
• 1:00:19
  Good times,
• 1:00:20
  Kearns: The eight, the Tate.
• 1:00:22
  Jon: Ate the tape
• 1:00:23
  Kearns: let's roll into some top fives.
• 1:00:25
  Ryan: right?
• 1:00:25
  Top five.
• 1:00:26
  I'm going simple.
• 1:00:27
  This year.
• 1:00:28
  This year,
• 1:00:29
  Jon: This year.
• 1:00:30
  Ryan: well, this is my top five.
• 1:00:31
  This movie came out in 1991.
• 1:00:33
  Great time of year.
• 1:00:34
  It's my birth year.
• 1:00:36
  Great time of year, but I'm going with Top five Horror films,
• 1:00:40
  I believe came out in 1991.
• 1:00:42
  We're gonna start off with, actually one that I forgot about,
• 1:00:45
  and I'm going to rewatch it again.
• 1:00:48
  It's from Full Moon.
• 1:00:49
  It's called Subspecies.
• 1:00:52
  Kearns: Cool.
• 1:00:52
  Ryan: have you guys.
• 1:00:53
  All right.
• 1:00:54
  So 1991 follows three American students in Transylvania who become entangled in a
• 1:00:59
  blood feud between Radu, an evil vampire who steals the mystical bloodstone from
• 1:01:03
  his father and his benevolent brother.
• 1:01:05
  Stefan.
• 1:01:06
  It, I remember it being fun.
• 1:01:08
  It was one of those films like I Got Caught watching, was Told No, and then
• 1:01:12
  found it like later on, watched it again.
• 1:01:14
  It's, I, I remember it being fun.
• 1:01:17
  The vampire look for Red De is definitely like, stands out.
• 1:01:22
  He's got the long fingernails, the long hair.
• 1:01:24
  Very
• 1:01:25
  Jon: His nails are
• 1:01:26
  Ryan: Yeah,
• 1:01:27
  Jon: that.
• 1:01:27
  Ryan: it's just like very nineties, if that makes sense.
• 1:01:31
  But it's a fun film from what I remember.
• 1:01:34
  Jon: It.
• 1:01:35
  I enjoy it.
• 1:01:36
  so a quick little story.
• 1:01:38
  I tried to watch this with Allison a few years ago.
• 1:01:41
  We got about half an hour in and she demanded that I turn it off.
• 1:01:45
  Ryan: She, she didn't
• 1:01:46
  Jon: Do you know, do you know how rare it is for her to demand that?
• 1:01:49
  I like she wouldn't even, she wouldn't even have it on while she
• 1:01:53
  went around the house and did things.
• 1:01:55
  She said, no, get this off.
• 1:01:57
  Ryan: It is a full
• 1:01:58
  Kearns: Wow.
• 1:01:58
  Ryan: Like what are you expecting?
• 1:02:00
  Like 1991 Full Moon.
• 1:02:03
  Jon: I mean, I don't, I don't know.
• 1:02:05
  Like she's watched some of the worst movies in the world with
• 1:02:08
  me and she picks them sometimes.
• 1:02:10
  So like, it was a specific subspecies thing.
• 1:02:14
  I love it though.
• 1:02:15
  Ryan: on a, on a side note, uh, real quick, Nick Romantic two
• 1:02:19
  is on, was gonna be on my list.
• 1:02:21
  I never seen it, but that came out in 1991.
• 1:02:24
  But
• 1:02:24
  Jon: know.
• 1:02:25
  Ryan: me to my number four.
• 1:02:26
  You gotta get close to this buddy, because I'm, my number four is child's play.
• 1:02:30
  Three, I, you know what,
• 1:02:33
  Kearns: Is this the one where he has to pay alimony?
• 1:02:34
  Are we there yet at three?
• 1:02:36
  Ryan: No, no.
• 1:02:36
  This is the one where, um,
• 1:02:38
  Jon: This is the military school, right?
• 1:02:40
  Kearns: Yeah.
• 1:02:40
  Ryan: Josh Whalen takes over.
• 1:02:42
  He's
• 1:02:42
  Kearns: Andy's in military school.
• 1:02:44
  Ryan: It's not bad.
• 1:02:45
  It's like, I mean, the beginning's very similar to the second one, except
• 1:02:49
  instead of recreating Chucky lightning storm, you get like, his blood goes into
• 1:02:54
  the mixture and he gets re-animated.
• 1:02:56
  He kills the CEO goes to military school.
• 1:02:59
  We get the scary scene with the the barbershop, which
• 1:03:01
  always creeps me out as a kid.
• 1:03:04
  I wasn't like with it like Bria, Chucky got me back into it.
• 1:03:08
  But as I'm older, it's not a bad film.
• 1:03:11
  It holds up, which leads to my number three.
• 1:03:13
  Ironically, puppet Master three came
• 1:03:16
  Kearns: Ah, I know it was coming.
• 1:03:17
  Ryan: Oh God.
• 1:03:18
  Two long's revenge.
• 1:03:18
  Of course.
• 1:03:19
  It was kind.
• 1:03:19
  I know I slashed a series, but this movie is great.
• 1:03:22
  It's
• 1:03:23
  Kearns: You love Puppet Master.
• 1:03:24
  Scream it from the mountaintops buddy.
• 1:03:26
  Ryan: good.
• 1:03:27
  Kearns: not
• 1:03:27
  Jon: Yeah,
• 1:03:27
  Kearns: to you, but you love Puppet Master.
• 1:03:29
  Ryan: so
• 1:03:29
  Jon: It's yours.
• 1:03:31
  It's yours.
• 1:03:32
  Ryan: shooters in it.
• 1:03:33
  He's fighting Germans.
• 1:03:34
  They're good guys.
• 1:03:35
  Like Leach
• 1:03:36
  Kearns: The Germans are good guys.
• 1:03:37
  Ryan: No, no, no.
• 1:03:38
  They're the bad guys.
• 1:03:39
  Uh, LAN's fighting against the Germans.
• 1:03:41
  Kearns: That's right.
• 1:03:42
  That's right.
• 1:03:42
  That's revisionist.
• 1:03:43
  That's correct.
• 1:03:44
  Ryan: whoa.
• 1:03:45
  Which leads me
• 1:03:46
  Kearns: Just be careful.
• 1:03:47
  Just be careful out there.
• 1:03:48
  Everybody.
• 1:03:48
  Ryan: Well, number two guy gets some Stephen King on here.
• 1:03:52
  And you know what?
• 1:03:53
  Sometimes
• 1:03:53
  Kearns: 91.
• 1:03:55
  Uh
• 1:03:57
  Ryan: Yeah, it's, yeah.
• 1:03:59
  Tim Matheson.
• 1:04:00
  It's was repeat on sci-fi.
• 1:04:03
  it was optioned as the segment For the film.
• 1:04:05
  cat's Eye.
• 1:04:06
  it's a short story of the same name.
• 1:04:08
  Just got its own movie.
• 1:04:09
  I, it's so underrated.
• 1:04:12
  Very underrated.
• 1:04:13
  The idea of revenge and like evil like, I guess peers coming
• 1:04:18
  back as like demons for 1991.
• 1:04:21
  It's, it's unique, especially with the Ghost Train and my number one,
• 1:04:27
  you know, do you hear people under your stairs?
• 1:04:30
  Because.
• 1:04:31
  Kearns: uh.
• 1:04:31
  That's a good one.
• 1:04:32
  This one freaked me out.
• 1:04:33
  Ryan: West Cravens people under the stairs, follows a young boy and two adult
• 1:04:36
  robbers who become trapped in a house belonging to a neighborhood's crooked.
• 1:04:39
  Landlords, after breaking in to steal their collection of gold coins, as the
• 1:04:43
  boy learns a dark secret about them and what also lurks in their house.
• 1:04:47
  This is a weird time for, west Craven.
• 1:04:48
  'cause he came out at this time with, serpent in the Rainbow.
• 1:04:51
  He came out with shocker, people under the
• 1:04:54
  Kearns: Rainbow in the dark.
• 1:04:55
  Ryan: Oh, that's d
• 1:04:57
  Kearns: Oh, okay.
• 1:04:57
  Ryan: that's dl. Uh, but Craven was trying to reinvent himself and trying to get
• 1:05:02
  away from, I think nightmare, but kind of
• 1:05:06
  Kearns: it's tough.
• 1:05:06
  Ryan: well, yeah.
• 1:05:07
  I mean,
• 1:05:08
  Kearns: You did wish Master, I think did You mentioned that one.
• 1:05:10
  Ryan: he,
• 1:05:10
  Kearns: Is that around this time,
• 1:05:11
  Ryan: 90 wish Master's.
• 1:05:12
  97. He produced it.
• 1:05:14
  I wish he
• 1:05:15
  Kearns: that Wish Master 97
• 1:05:17
  Ryan: Yeah.
• 1:05:18
  Yeah.
• 1:05:19
  Kearns: like it's 87 when you watch it anyway.
• 1:05:23
  Ryan: What do you think with the people under the stairs?
• 1:05:25
  I thought that was 89.
• 1:05:26
  I was shocked that came out in 91.
• 1:05:28
  Kearns: Yeah, I remember that being on the P 11 Halloween thing, like
• 1:05:31
  after the ninth gate and all that.
• 1:05:35
  Actually not ninth Gate, the gate, the movie, the gate.
• 1:05:38
  And uh, it's terrifying 'cause it's like, there's people in the walls and
• 1:05:43
  we had a spooky ass rental house at the time, rented in this dark area
• 1:05:50
  where the woods swallow the home.
• 1:05:52
  And that was the house where there was a door on the second story that just dropped
• 1:05:55
  into the concrete stairs, 18 feet below.
• 1:05:59
  And nobody ever, there was never locked.
• 1:06:01
  There was like, well, the kids won't, obviously the kids
• 1:06:04
  won't do anything with that,
• 1:06:06
  Jon: Obviously
• 1:06:07
  Ryan: will
• 1:06:07
  Kearns: obviously.
• 1:06:08
  How many things I heed outta that door?
• 1:06:11
  Anyway, back to it.
• 1:06:13
  Back to it.
• 1:06:14
  That's, that's his top five.
• 1:06:15
  Everybody.
• 1:06:16
  John, you're
• 1:06:17
  Jon: nice.
• 1:06:17
  Kearns: up buddy.
• 1:06:18
  Jon: All right.
• 1:06:19
  I went a different route.
• 1:06:21
  I went with, top five apartments in horror.
• 1:06:25
  Ryan: Ooh, Rosemary's baby.
• 1:06:27
  Better be on this.
• 1:06:29
  Jon: It's not.
• 1:06:30
  Ryan: Oh, okay.
• 1:06:31
  Damn, damn.
• 1:06:32
  like an infamous apartment too.
• 1:06:34
  All
• 1:06:34
  Jon: It is, it is, it is.
• 1:06:36
  Um, number five I think is something I've said before.
• 1:06:39
  It's a movie called Watcher,
• 1:06:42
  Kearns: Yeah.
• 1:06:43
  Jon: starring Mic Monroe who was in it follows and long legs.
• 1:06:47
  Ryan: Yep.
• 1:06:47
  Jon: when a young couple moves to Buret for his job, Julia becomes very isolated.
• 1:06:53
  She doesn't speak the language and then discovers she has a voyeur in an apartment
• 1:06:58
  across from her watching her every move.
• 1:07:01
  And it turns out he may also be a serial killer.
• 1:07:04
  The atmosphere is awesome.
• 1:07:06
  They really do a good job building the sense of isolation in her.
• 1:07:11
  I don't know if it's the version I watched when I originally watched it
• 1:07:15
  or if it's how they filmed it, but like the first 20 minutes to half an
• 1:07:20
  hour when she's out talking to Romanian people, you don't get subtitles.
• 1:07:25
  So you don't you.
• 1:07:26
  So the way I watched it, you sort of get into this place where you're as
• 1:07:31
  isolated from what's going on as she is.
• 1:07:34
  'cause they're having conversations in Romanian and she's sitting there
• 1:07:37
  smiling and that's what you're doing.
• 1:07:40
  Kearns: Hmm.
• 1:07:41
  Ryan: pretty cool.
• 1:07:41
  I like that.
• 1:07:45
  Jon: My number four is a movie that I believe is still on Netflix.
• 1:07:48
  It's, south Korean.
• 1:07:50
  It's called hashtag Alive.
• 1:07:53
  Kearns: nice.
• 1:07:53
  South Korea likes to do that because they have a lot of the tenement housing
• 1:07:56
  Jon: Mm-hmm.
• 1:07:57
  Kearns: like big apartment buildings, like Sweet Home takes
• 1:08:00
  place in one of those two the
• 1:08:02
  Jon: Yep.
• 1:08:02
  Kearns: season.
• 1:08:03
  Jon: Yep.
• 1:08:03
  it sort of has a sweet home vibe.
• 1:08:06
  so when an in infection rips through Seoul, O June, Wu is trapped alone in
• 1:08:11
  his apartment surrounded by zombies.
• 1:08:14
  Just as he reaches his breaking point, a fortuitous flash of light
• 1:08:19
  makes him realize he isn't alone and he has a new purpose in life.
• 1:08:25
  Kearns: Hmm.
• 1:08:27
  It's always fun to have that.
• 1:08:28
  Jon: Yeah.
• 1:08:30
  Kearns: Yeah.
• 1:08:31
  Jon: I think my number three is another one I've given before.
• 1:08:34
  It's a, a movie that's coming up later this year on our calendar too.
• 1:08:39
  It's, evil dead rise.
• 1:08:40
  Ryan: Yes,
• 1:08:41
  Kearns: Wow.
• 1:08:42
  Ryan: good.
• 1:08:43
  Jon: Yep.
• 1:08:44
  So, a family must fight to survive when the demonic possessing
• 1:08:47
  forces are inadvertently unleashed in their apartment.
• 1:08:52
  This entry in the franchise drops the humor entirely and goes straight
• 1:08:55
  for the scares to very good effect.
• 1:08:58
  Ryan: Beautiful Neck Comic-Con in that one.
• 1:09:01
  Kearns: What's that?
• 1:09:01
  Ryan: Necker Comic-Con.
• 1:09:04
  Kearns: Hmm?
• 1:09:06
  Is it the
• 1:09:07
  Jon: Enough
• 1:09:08
  Kearns: Necro Comicon, or is it the New York Necro
• 1:09:11
  Jon: New York City economic on
• 1:09:13
  Ryan: The Ne.
• 1:09:14
  The
• 1:09:14
  Jon: at the Javit Center.
• 1:09:15
  Kearns: He had to say it correctly.
• 1:09:17
  John couldn't fair to say it incorrectly.
• 1:09:20
  That movie was so, that movie was far more scary than Evil Dead.
• 1:09:25
  Jon: Hmm.
• 1:09:25
  Kearns: one, I, I found that movie to be genuinely terrifying.
• 1:09:29
  Actually.
• 1:09:29
  Evil Dead Rise is very well done.
• 1:09:32
  Jon: Yeah.
• 1:09:32
  Kearns: flowers enough off
• 1:09:33
  Ryan: it's got
• 1:09:34
  Jon: No, it doesn't.
• 1:09:35
  Ryan: I feel like the
• 1:09:36
  Jon: I mean, they,
• 1:09:37
  Ryan: it's dark comedy.
• 1:09:37
  Jon: there's a, yeah, there's a couple of moments that are amusing,
• 1:09:41
  but like, if you think about the first three, it's nowhere near that.
• 1:09:46
  Ryan: God no.
• 1:09:48
  Kearns: D It doesn't, yeah.
• 1:09:50
  Jon: But it, does have enough lightness in it to separate
• 1:09:53
  it from that God awful remake.
• 1:09:54
  Ryan: Uh, I went to see the in theaters.
• 1:09:57
  I wanna talk about it.
• 1:09:59
  No.
• 1:09:59
  Jon: I saw Evil Dead rise in theaters, and I'm very happy I did.
• 1:10:03
  number two is a remake, and the original was on my list a couple weeks ago, and
• 1:10:10
  here's the remake, it's quarantine.
• 1:10:12
  Kearns: Oh, I like this movie.
• 1:10:14
  Jon: So quarantine is the American remake of Rec and it hits almost as well.
• 1:10:19
  it stars Jennifer Carpenter, Dexter's sister.
• 1:10:23
  Kearns: Emily
• 1:10:23
  Jon: new
• 1:10:23
  Kearns: for
• 1:10:24
  Jon: Yep.
• 1:10:24
  Ryan: Yep.
• 1:10:26
  Jon: A news crew becomes trapped in a quarantine apartment building during
• 1:10:29
  a viral outbreak, which turns its victims into blood thirsty killers.
• 1:10:37
  He drinking marinara.
• 1:10:39
  Ryan: it?
• 1:10:39
  Kearns: Saki, I swear.
• 1:10:43
  Oh, I actually think I have Saki.
• 1:10:47
  Ryan: Xenomania Unleashed?
• 1:10:49
  Kearns: I might, I might soki it up on one of our episodes now.
• 1:10:52
  'cause when,
• 1:10:52
  Jon: Nice.
• 1:10:53
  Kearns: drink Saki?
• 1:10:54
  Jon: That's true.
• 1:10:55
  That's true.
• 1:10:55
  Kearns: It's
• 1:10:55
  Jon: And my number, coincidentally, my number one is the sequel to
• 1:11:01
  a movie that I featured a couple weeks ago also, and it's demons two.
• 1:11:06
  Ryan: Ooh.
• 1:11:06
  Kearns: Oh, nice.
• 1:11:07
  Jon: Yep.
• 1:11:08
  Kearns: Nice.
• 1:11:08
  Dude.
• 1:11:09
  Jon: So a demonic entity is released from the TV into the real world,
• 1:11:13
  and before long, an entire apartment building is overrun by demons.
• 1:11:18
  It starts with a girl throwing a birthday party and escalates rapidly.
• 1:11:23
  Ryan: Okay.
• 1:11:24
  Kearns: nice.
• 1:11:25
  Jon: Very Italian.
• 1:11:26
  Very good.
• 1:11:28
  Kearns: No, I mean, most Italian things are
• 1:11:30
  Jon: Yeah.
• 1:11:30
  Kearns: the Jersey Shore, gaba Gold,
• 1:11:32
  Ryan: Mm.
• 1:11:33
  Kearns: the Sopranos.
• 1:11:34
  Ryan: Prosciutto.
• 1:11:35
  Kearns: maybe not all, maybe not all Italian things.
• 1:11:38
  Jon: Yeah,
• 1:11:38
  Kearns: You ever see how they make pro Juno?
• 1:11:41
  week on Xenomania, we're gonna make a fresh projet.
• 1:11:44
  a lead in everybody.
• 1:11:46
  What a lead in?
• 1:11:47
  All right, that's it for us tonight.
• 1:11:48
  I'm getting loopy.
• 1:11:48
  Hey, thanks for joining us for Critters three.
• 1:11:50
  It doesn't suck.
• 1:11:51
  Ryan: Have a good
• 1:11:52
  Jon: it does not suck.
• 1:11:54
  See ya.