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Short Stuff: Hawaiian Night Marchers · Stuff You Should Know

• 0:04
  Speaker 1: Helloha, and welcome to the short stuff. I'm Josh, there's Chuck,
• 0:07
  Speaker 1: there's Josh. Heloha. No way, don't go anywhere. I didn't
• 0:11
  Speaker 1: mean goodbye. I was just saying hello again. You've been
• 0:14
  Speaker 1: to Hawaii? Sure? Yeah, Mary, you mean I got married
• 0:17
  Speaker 1: in Hawaii. That's right, Hawaii and you've been back right
• 0:20
  Speaker 1: or now? Yes, we love it. I can't wait. I've
• 0:23
  Speaker 1: never been. Still, you're gonna love it. When we went,
• 0:25
  Speaker 1: we were not expecting it to be as great as
• 0:27
  Speaker 1: it was, and we were just blown away. And we
• 0:31
  Speaker 1: went back and got married, and now we go back
• 0:32
  Speaker 1: as often as we can. And to people that are thinking,
• 0:34
  Speaker 1: what did jerk? Josh didn't invite Chuck to his wedding,
• 0:38
  Speaker 1: didn't invite anybody. Yeah, you guys kind of did your
• 0:40
  Speaker 1: own thing. So but yeah, we eloped. I like to
• 0:43
  Speaker 1: think I was on the uh spiritual guest list. You
• 0:46
  Speaker 1: definitely were. But it was funny when we called people
• 0:48
  Speaker 1: and said, like, you know, hey, we just got married.
• 0:51
  Speaker 1: We eloped, and and the first question from just about
• 0:54
  Speaker 1: everybody was, well, who is there? Really'd say no one,
• 0:57
  Speaker 1: and they go congratulations. Wait, why don't you say congratulations first? Yeah,
• 1:03
  Speaker 1: that's interesting we need new friends and family. Who was
• 1:05
  Speaker 1: there exactly? So the thing I couldn't we're talking about
• 1:10
  Speaker 1: the legend of the night Marchers of Hawaii. I read
• 1:14
  Speaker 1: through a couple of things on this, and I was
• 1:15
  Speaker 1: frustrated because I still couldn't figure out what they were.
• 1:20
  Speaker 1: Were they like, were they real? Is it a legend
• 1:22
  Speaker 1: or the ghost? Is it folklore? And I finally it
• 1:26
  Speaker 1: took me like two or three articles, so I was like, Okay,
• 1:28
  Speaker 1: this isn't really happening. So wait, there was a point
• 1:31
  Speaker 1: and in your research where you thought that, like, like
• 1:35
  Speaker 1: people were walking around just slaughtering innocent bystanders in Hawaii.
• 1:38
  Speaker 1: Well that's what confused me is I thought maybe these
• 1:41
  Speaker 1: were people re enacting this legend for fun. But then
• 1:45
  Speaker 1: I was like, but the murder part, like no one
• 1:48
  Speaker 1: has said, like, but they don't really kill you. So
• 1:53
  Speaker 1: let's talk about what this is now. I'm confused. Uh,
• 1:57
  Speaker 1: if you have been to Hawaii might have heard about
• 1:59
  Speaker 1: these night marchers. It is a uh it's basically a
• 2:02
  Speaker 1: situation where you might hear and of course this is
• 2:06
  Speaker 1: folklore again, right, right, this is this is folklore. Right.
• 2:09
  Speaker 1: You'll hear these war drums in the distance, you'll hear chanting. Ah,
• 2:14
  Speaker 1: you hear like the horn of a cock shell being
• 2:16
  Speaker 1: sound sounded, and you will see the torches marching through
• 2:20
  Speaker 1: and winding through the darkness, and you're like, oh s
• 2:23
  Speaker 1: the night marchers, right, even if you don't know what
• 2:26
  Speaker 1: the night marchers are, hopefully this will scare you enough
• 2:30
  Speaker 1: to run and not be like, oh, let me stick
• 2:32
  Speaker 1: around and take a gander and see what happens. Because
• 2:35
  Speaker 1: here's the problem. If you are a Howley or even
• 2:38
  Speaker 1: a Hawaiian who doesn't know what's going on right now,
• 2:41
  Speaker 1: although that's probably not the case because it's apparently a
• 2:43
  Speaker 1: widespread cultural tradition. Um, if you stick around and the
• 2:48
  Speaker 1: night marchers find you and they notice that you are gawking,
• 2:52
  Speaker 1: they will kill you right there. They will shout something
• 2:55
  Speaker 1: that means pierce that person, and you will be killed. Yeah,
• 3:00
  Speaker 1: if you make eye contact, supposedly, and not only will
• 3:02
  Speaker 1: you be killed, you'll be killed by supernatural beings, which
• 3:06
  Speaker 1: I would guess is way worse than being killed under
• 3:08
  Speaker 1: normal circumstances. That's right. So what's supposedly happening is is
• 3:14
  Speaker 1: these I think it's the chiefs are traveling at night
• 3:18
  Speaker 1: to avoid being spotted and they are Are they all
• 3:22
  Speaker 1: chiefs or is this the chief and people in his
• 3:25
  Speaker 1: guard sort of uh, protecting them along the way the
• 3:29
  Speaker 1: ladder of those two. Okay, that's what I thought. And
• 3:31
  Speaker 1: it's not just like the supernatural ghost. So these are
• 3:34
  Speaker 1: the ghosts of chiefs who were protected in the people
• 3:37
  Speaker 1: who protect them. It's all this ghost procession through Hawaii
• 3:41
  Speaker 1: at night. And it's actually something that used to happen
• 3:45
  Speaker 1: in the old days because it was a long standing
• 3:47
  Speaker 1: tradition among Hawaiian culture that the chiefs were so divine
• 3:52
  Speaker 1: that a normal person couldn't look upon them, and you
• 3:55
  Speaker 1: certainly couldn't be in their presence while you had clothes on, right,
• 3:58
  Speaker 1: which is why if you're just kind of a tourist
• 4:00
  Speaker 1: gawking and you run across the night marchers and you're
• 4:03
  Speaker 1: wearing clothes and you're looking at the chief, that's why
• 4:05
  Speaker 1: they kill you. So in real life, historically speaking, some
• 4:09
  Speaker 1: of the better chiefs would say, well, I can't just
• 4:12
  Speaker 1: go wandering around from place to place in the daytime
• 4:15
  Speaker 1: where somebody might see me accidentally and then they have
• 4:18
  Speaker 1: to be killed. I'll just take to the to the
• 4:21
  Speaker 1: trails at night and me and my procession will will
• 4:23
  Speaker 1: travel at night. This is the ghostly continuation of that
• 4:27
  Speaker 1: actual historical tradition. It's very much like a Scooby Doo
• 4:32
  Speaker 1: plot if you ask me, totally. I can't believe they
• 4:35
  Speaker 1: never did this, Yeah, because they went on sort of
• 4:37
  Speaker 1: exotic vacations occasionally in some of those later years. And
• 4:42
  Speaker 1: Hawaiian real estate is so valuable that a real estate
• 4:46
  Speaker 1: developer might actually go to this length to scare people
• 4:49
  Speaker 1: off of land that he wanted for cheap. So yeah,
• 4:52
  Speaker 1: I mean that would have been perfect for Scooby Doo.
• 4:55
  Speaker 1: It would have been the most realistic Scooby Doo episode ever. Yeah,
• 4:58
  Speaker 1: but you gotta get like the three students out there
• 5:00
  Speaker 1: or something. It's curly Joe. Yeah. Yeah. All right, so
• 5:04
  Speaker 1: let's take a quick break and we will come back
• 5:06
  Speaker 1: and talk a little bit more about what happens on
• 5:08
  Speaker 1: this ghostly journey right after this. Alright, So the lunar
• 5:35
  Speaker 1: cycles have something to do with this as well, because
• 5:38
  Speaker 1: apparently they tend to appear usually during the last four
• 5:43
  Speaker 1: Hawaiian moon phases when it's darkest. Yeah, Hawaii has their
• 5:47
  Speaker 1: own lunar phases, and they're more distinct than ours. They
• 5:51
  Speaker 1: have like thirty of them where we have like eight.
• 5:53
  Speaker 1: It's pretty incredible. And their last four are Kanie, Lono,
• 5:57
  Speaker 1: Mauli and Muku and Ralph and they're basically the right
• 6:01
  Speaker 1: and they're the h and Curly Joe. They're the dark
• 6:06
  Speaker 1: dark phases of the moon. Yeah, so it's it's darkest
• 6:09
  Speaker 1: out then. Uh. They're usually mark marching toward uh some
• 6:13
  Speaker 1: very sacred sites or very popular and notable cultural sites. Uh.
• 6:19
  Speaker 1: And like we said, if you hear this and you're like,
• 6:21
  Speaker 1: oh my goodness, let me go check this out, just
• 6:24
  Speaker 1: don't do it because you're gonna die even though it's
• 6:28
  Speaker 1: not real, right. Uh. If you are in an ancestor
• 6:32
  Speaker 1: uh and you have some kind of family tie to
• 6:34
  Speaker 1: someone in the march, they know to respect it, but
• 6:37
  Speaker 1: you will also be protected. Right. So here's the thing,
• 6:40
  Speaker 1: Like if you if it turns out that you happen
• 6:43
  Speaker 1: just coincidentally to be a um a distant descendant of
• 6:48
  Speaker 1: one of the ghosts on the march in this procession,
• 6:51
  Speaker 1: they will say this, this person is one of my descendants,
• 6:54
  Speaker 1: and don't kill him, and and we'll just go ahead
• 6:57
  Speaker 1: and encapsulate him. At least that last part about capsulating
• 7:00
  Speaker 1: him or protecting him or her. Uh comes from Akhuna,
• 7:04
  Speaker 1: a real life cahuna um by the name of Lopaca
• 7:10
  Speaker 1: Kappa Neui. Is he the big Cahuna? I think he's
• 7:14
  Speaker 1: just a regular khuna, okay, but he is a kind
• 7:17
  Speaker 1: of a cultural historian and uh a khuna again, kind
• 7:21
  Speaker 1: of a spiritual leader of um Hawaiian culture. And he
• 7:26
  Speaker 1: said that at one point he encountered one of these
• 7:29
  Speaker 1: night march ghostly processions and he was protected ostensibly because
• 7:36
  Speaker 1: one of his distant relatives was one of the marchers. Yeah,
• 7:39
  Speaker 1: there's another couple of things that can save you. One
• 7:41
  Speaker 1: as if you have a plant, very specific plant called
• 7:46
  Speaker 1: the t I guess t I I think so it
• 7:49
  Speaker 1: is an evergreen plant. And if you have that planet
• 7:51
  Speaker 1: around your home, which I bet a lot of houses
• 7:54
  Speaker 1: in Hawaii do, just for maybe superstitious sake, you will
• 7:59
  Speaker 1: be protected it. And the other is if you just
• 8:02
  Speaker 1: happen to be out there and you come across one
• 8:05
  Speaker 1: of these marching groups you are too and you're accidentally
• 8:09
  Speaker 1: make eye contact. You're like, hey, what's up man, and
• 8:12
  Speaker 1: they're like, you're about to die and they say the
• 8:14
  Speaker 1: thing you were supposed to strip down naked, lay down,
• 8:18
  Speaker 1: face down on the ground, close your eyes, p yourself
• 8:22
  Speaker 1: in play dead. Yeah, just basically showing complete deference and
• 8:27
  Speaker 1: fealty to these things, to these ghostly warriors in their
• 8:31
  Speaker 1: king And the p yourself was not a chuck joke.
• 8:33
  Speaker 1: That's for real. They say to urinate if you can,
• 8:37
  Speaker 1: and that they'll they'll be like, wow, I guess that worked.
• 8:39
  Speaker 1: We scared the p out of them. Yeah. Another another
• 8:43
  Speaker 1: UM piece of advice is not to whistle at night,
• 8:46
  Speaker 1: because apparently legend has it, you might accidentally summon the
• 8:48
  Speaker 1: night marchers. UM. And I don't know if there's any
• 8:53
  Speaker 1: more advice. I think, Oh, run, that's that's what um
• 8:57
  Speaker 1: Lopaca can Kappa Nui says. He says, if you start
• 9:01
  Speaker 1: to hear those drums at night in the distance, or
• 9:04
  Speaker 1: you hear a conk show, or you start to apparently
• 9:07
  Speaker 1: you can smell rotting flesh that's part of it, um,
• 9:10
  Speaker 1: or if you start to see those torches coming towards you,
• 9:13
  Speaker 1: you should just just run, don't stick around. Yeah, and
• 9:16
  Speaker 1: this and this how stuff works article I said, don't
• 9:19
  Speaker 1: stop to take selfies like some people done have done
• 9:21
  Speaker 1: in the past. Just run Is that all just stungue
• 9:24
  Speaker 1: in cheek? I I don't know. I can't tell anymore.
• 9:27
  Speaker 1: The border between real and supernatural has been completely crossed.
• 9:31
  Speaker 1: I totally agree. I don't know if I need to
• 9:33
  Speaker 1: go to Hawaii now because I have made fun of
• 9:35
  Speaker 1: this and they they know I'm doing so you are
• 9:38
  Speaker 1: going to love it, Chuck, all right, you gotta go
• 9:41
  Speaker 1: and you're gonna love it, Okay, all right, Well we'll
• 9:43
  Speaker 1: see everybody in Hawaii. Because short stuff is out. Stuff
• 9:49
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